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The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, August 04, 1898, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85042461/1898-08-04/ed-1/seq-6/

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The Herald
I'resldent and iieneral Malinger
Telephone Main 247, Kualneas Office and subscrip
tion Department.
Tt-lepbooe Main IM, Editorial and Local Depart
m if ota
Dally, i y carrier, per month I 75
Dally, by mall, one year P
Dully, by mall, six months 4 "
Dally, by mall, three months. 2
Kind v v Harald. by mall one year i
Weekly Herald, by mall. one year 1 W
it pftfrei 4 cents ST patio*.. 2cem»
hpH-ii Iceow apa«i»i 2r»*nM
S4p«ce« t cents l«pftffes 2 cents
Kpages * ceot
A. Frank Richardson* Tribune RutMlng, N«w
York: Chamber of Commerce building. Chicago.
The above reward will be paid for tbe arrest and
conviction of any parson caught stealing Tha
Hernld after delivery to a patrou.
The county Democratic central com
mittee has called primaries for August
Bth, for the purpose of electing dele
gates to a county convention, to be held
ln Los Angeles August 10th. The prin
cpal purpose for which the county
convention will assemble is the election
of eighty-one delegates from Los An
geles county to the state convention, to
assemble at Sacramento on the 16th of
August, to nominate a governor and
state ticket.
It is highly desirable that the country
Democracy should be informed that an
Insidious, but none the less concerted and
powerful effort is being made to send a
delegation from this county to Sacra
mento which will not be truly repre
sentative of the wishes and desires of
the overwhelming majority of the Dem
ocratic party in this county.
It is beyond question that James G.
Maguire Is the choice of ninety-nine out
of a hundred of the Democracy of South
ern California. His candidacy is being
violently opposed, by the railroad com
pany and other allied and powerful in
terests. A small element in the Dem
ocracy of Los Angeles city is lending
Itself, as It usually does, to further the
efforts of the last-named corporation
ond Influences. Fortunately, this ele
ment has only recently so exposed its
rottenness that there is no possibility
of its deceiving any consderable num
ber of city Democrats. The respectable
element of the city Democracy may be
relied upon to render a good account
of itself at the forthcoming pri
maries. The hope of the marplots andl
conspirators lies in the possibility of de
ceiving the country delegates, or of prof
iting by indifference on their part. To
thwart this effort, let every honest Dem
ocrat In the country precincts attend
the primaries between 4 and 7 oclock
p. m. next Monday, August Bth, and see
to it that a delegation of honest and
representative Democrats Is sent from
his precinct to the county convention.
There will be a great effort made to
secure proxies from country Democrats.
Let each delegate elected from a coun
try precinct either attend the convention
in person, or only surrender his proxy
to a delegate from his own precinct,
with Instructions that the same must
not be used to further the schemes of
those who are endeavoring to set at
naught the overwhelming wishes of the
Democratic party in favor of James G.
Maguire for governor. Let country dele
gates attending the county convention
carefully refrain from commiting them
selves to any line of policy until they
have had ample opportunity to consult
■with their friends and those among the
party's leaders who have always been
with them ln their contests hitherto with
the noisy and disreputable wing of the
city Democracy, which has exercised as»
influence altogether out of proportion to
Its numbers.
A little care at this time upon the part
of country Democrats will result in the
utter rout and defeat of the schemers,
and of placing the control of the party
machinery of Los Angeles county In the
hands of the representative members of
the party.
Statistical sharps of the treasury are
able, with the facilities at hand, to prove
any given proposition with the maxi
mum of ease and minimum of liability
of controversion. Their labors Just now
are facilitated by the enormous expendi
tures on war account, an<l the conven
ience of the same in manipulation. Sub
tracting the total revenues for the last
fiscal year, $.140,570,110, from the total
expenditures, $4.18.819.214, and a defic it
is shown of $98,249,10.1. To reduce this
to d"sired proportions, it is only neces
sary to subtract expenditures on account
of the war. What these were up to the
30th of June nobody knows, but that
fact only renders easier the task of the
statistician. He has only to estimate
them, and he has the advantage of both
the first and last guess! In this In
stance he guesses they were $r>6,000,000.
Subtracting this sum from the apparent
deficit, and the real shortage Is found
to be $42,249,103. Then he turns back the
leaves of the ledger, finds that the actual
deficit for the first seven months of the
fiscal year, ended January 31st, was $51,
901,823. Deducting from this the apparent
deficit for the year, after allowing for
war expenditures, and he makes the dis
covery—which he was commissioned hy
his chief to make—that the deficit of
the first seven month* was reduced, dur
ing the last five months, by nine mil
lions: Why the treasury statistician
contented himself with so modest a
showing as that, when, by the same
methods, he could as easily have doubled
it, is not explained. Perhaps he feared
the disparity of his figures with those
of the official report of foreign trade
for the fiscal year might be too glar
ingly apparent. These show an excess
of exports over Imports of $823,173,000.
They show a falling off In importations
of foreign merchandise of $26,000,000 in
the single month of May, of $2,700,000
in that month over April, and $8,100,000
over March. They disclose the fact that
whereas, the spring and early summer
months are almost invariably seasons
of decreased exports and Increased im
ports, the conditions during the flrpt half
of 1898 were reversed, the excess of mer
chandise exports over imports in the
single month of May aggregating nearly
The war has been a most fortunate
thing for the tariff doctors. It enables
them to so mix up the figures of receipts
and expenditures as to defy absolute ref
utation of almost any statements they
are pleased to make. But the last one
Is too ahsurd for credence, even In ma
rine circles—the statement that, during
a perod of five months, when the excess
of exports over importe was greater
than ever before in the country's his
tory, the deficit of the seven months
previous, when conditions were normal,
was reduced by $9,000,000!
The concession of an actual deficit
exceeding $42,000,000. or $3,500,000 a month,
during the first year of the operation of
the Dingley law ought to be enough to
satisfy the country of its absolute In
efficiency as a revenue-getter. And the
real meaning of it Is that after the war
is ended, and the extraordinary expendi
tures on account of It are cut off, we
shall still be confronted with a robust
monthly deficit, to be met by the con
tinued Imposition of direct war taxation
for years after the cessation of hos
The real facts will doubtless he with
held for some time. The figures now
being given out will answer all of the
requirements of the Republicans in the
approaching political campaign.
We think It will be found that there
exists a lack of harmony between Cu
bans afield and Cubans who have never
served In the army; that the former
are disposed to arrogate to themselves
all of the authority to set up a stable
government; that, being greatly out
numbered by the civilian class, they are
loath to surrender power which, before
the United States intervened, they were
able to exercise over non-combatants;
that they are distrustful, and feel that
unless they can secure control by virtue
of the sacrifices they have made and the
hardships they have suffered, and the
results that have been achieved hy rea
son of them, all will be lost. They are
apparently unwilling to submit the ques
tions involved to the voice of all the
people. They are obviously indisposed
to yield to the kind of a government
they have been fighting for—a govern
ment of the people, by the people and
for the people. They evidently have a
misconception of the fundamentals of
a republican form of government. They
seem to have misinterpreted the spirit
of the declared object of the American
people—to give to Cuba a stable gov
ernment, not to establish a stable gov
ernment and hand it over to them, deny
ing to all others on the Island a voice in
Its organization and direction.
If these surmises shall prove correct,
the Cuban Insurgents have something
to learn, and more to unlearn. Patence
will be one of the first lessons. Then
Equity, Fairness, Justice, Moderation.
There Is some ground for apprehen
sion, however, that they are not seek
ing light along these lines. There Is
fear that they will become morose and
misanthropic. There is danger that the
patriotic spirit which has distinguished
them will yield to the baser attributes,
and that by their petulance and impa
tience they will postpone, if not defeat,
the worthy ends they have arrived at,
and which we are endeavoring to help
them compass.
It is possible, however, that they have
been, and are being, misunderstood; that
their motives have been misconstrued,
and that, despite the indefensible atti
tude they have assumed since the fall
of Santiago, they may yet prove them
selves worthy of our respect and our
Let us hope they will soon prove to
the world that they are as wise In peace
as they have been valorous In war, and
that our confidence In their good inten
tions has not been misplaced. To have
to admit they are really unfitted for self
government Will rob the people of the
United States of much of the glory of
their achievements on sea and land dur
ing the past three months. ■
In another column will be found the
call for Democratic precinct primaries
and for a county convention. The date
of the primaries has been fixed for
August Bth, between the hours of 7:30
and 9 p. m. in this city, and between the
hours of 3 and 7 p. m. ln the country.
The date of the county convention is
August 10th, beginning at 10 oclock a. m.
These unusually short notices for both
the primaries and the convention were
made necessary by the fact that the
state committee called the state con
vention to assemble at Sacramento
August 16th, and its call, which was not
officially promulgated until the Ist of
August, required the credentials of state
delegates to be certified and forwarded
to the secretary, of the state committee
at least live days before the day of the
state convention.
In view of the fact that the time Is
short for active and aggressive work
preliminary to the primaries, It behooves
every Democrat to devote at least a
part of his time in securing the attend
ance of representative Democrats at the
primaries, and by this means selecting
delegates to the convention who will be
truly representative of their precincts
and of the party.
The Democratic party, unfortunately,
has a few members who, in order to ac
complish their own selfish ends, are try
ing to disrupt and bring discredit upon
it. The party at large must look to the
Democrats of each precinct to attend
to the mischievous indviduals in detail,
and, by defeating them at the polls, pre
serve the good name of their party.
In the present campaign the battle
cry of Democracy and of the allied par
ties is, and must be, Reform, Reduction
of Governmental Expenses and Re
publican Rout. In order to en
list the independent voters of this
state ln this cause, as well as
to retain the confidence and sup
port of our own honorable members,
the campaign must be begun on right
lines and conducted rightly, and then
we muy rest assured that it will end
rightly by the election of Hon. James G.
With these objects in view, every Dem
ocrat should take an active interest ln
the primaries and see to It that none
but tried and true Democrats are elected
delegates to the county convention.
The old saying, "There's reason in
roasting eggs," finds partial exemplifica
tion ln the consistently bitter hostility
evinced by France toward the United
States since the beginning of the war
with Spain. Arnold White, the London
correspondent of Harper's Weekly, in
a recently published letter ln that paper,
discovers the true Inwardness of the un
friendly disposition toward us manifested
by France and of her desire to see Spain
victorious in the present contest. The
grounds of this French enmity are far
from being sentimental, and, it would
seem, for the most part are based upon
French respect for the almighty dollar.
Mr. White states that he had Just re
turned from a visit to France, where he
had conversed with people of all classes,
and that he found, without a single ex
ception, antipathy to America most
marked, especially among the property
owners in the rural districts. Contin
uing, he says:
France has invested $300,000,000 in
Spain. The war. therefore, hits France
almost as hardly as If she were a bellig
erent. For obvious reasons the Paris
shopkeepers can scarcely be taken as
r-presentative of the French nation.
The burden of sustaining Spain's credit
virtually falls upon French capitalists,
and as Spain is bleeding to death, tne
task of sustaining her becomes Intol
In addition to this mercenary plea in
confession and avoidance, filed in the
case for France, Mr. White contends
that there is no longer, if there ever were,
any affinity between the French and the
American peoples; that France Is in a
moribund condition, a state of political
if not industral atrophy, and that "there
can be no true friendship between a de
cadent and a rising and triumphant
Curiously enough, Mr. White attributes
French decadence —which he says Is ap
parent to any one with eyes in his head,
and capacity for observation—to the
"ever increasing use of alcohol in its most
fiery and dangerous form." However
this may be, the fact of French sympathy
for Spain confronts us, not as a theory,
hut as a condition. It Is well, however,
that we are Informed of the real grounds
of French antipathy to us in our war with
Spain—grounds ln no sense derogatory
to the American people. The ralson
d'etre of French enmity touches us not.
But we should regret indeed to be forced
to recognize the historic accuracy of the
broad hint made by Mr. Whte in his
criticism of Chauncey M. Depew's late
oration in Paris, that the friendship of
France to the United States, in revolu
tionary days was dictated less by love
for Americans than by hatred for Eng
land. There are memories, sacred and
revered, that, however based on myth
or fairy tale, we would prefer remaining
intact, and we cannot, or will not, be
persuaded that the France of 1776 had
not a higher sense of political morality
and nobler views of Justice and civil lib
erty than the pretentious semi-royal
France of ISHB.
Merry war In Ohio is promised. Mr.
Hanna's personal organ at Columbus has 1
undertaken to show that Foraker is a
member of a senatorial syndicate which
last year agreed to put through congress
a resolution recognizing the Cuban re
public, ln consideration of certain val
uable franchises to be given later—ln
other words, that he Is a bribe-taker.
This little episode may warrant Foraker
ln reversing his decision not to have any
thing to do with the legislative charges
of bribery against Hanna. It may in
duce him to make some inquiries of the
president of the senate as to the probable
location of the memorial that was sent
to him last winter by the Ohio general
< i t
Colombia has settled its little score
with Italy, and the war vessels of the
latter have been withdrawn from Co
lombian waters. The presumption is
that It was an honest debt, that should
long ago have been discharged. The of
fending debtor not only delayed pay
ment, but pleaded the baby act. by ap
pealing to the I'nlted States for pro
tection. The award having been made
by President Cleveland, it would have
been obviously absurd for this country
to interfere. The Monroe doctrine has
not been seriously fractured.
The suggestion of the navigation bu
reau that the fight ln which Cervera's
fleet was destroyed be known as the
"battle of July 3d," Is everywhere ad
versely criticised and ridiculed. The
Idea 1b not original, anyway, it being an
old French custom now more honored in
the breach than in the observance.
"Twenty-ninth July" and 'Fourth Sep
tember" mean much to the Franks, but
are unintelligible to the average for
The Hooley Investigation will have one
good effect at least. The "lords" who
lent their names for a consideration will
no longer be able to turn a nimble penny
in that way. Their names will not be ln
great demand for directories. In fact,
prospectuses bearing them will be heav
ily discounted. And "introductions" to
notable personages are likely to be lower
before they are higher. They can in the
future be had for the asking, or not at
Miss Schenck has raised sufficient
money, hy means of the endless chain
letter device, to send to Cuba a large
schooner laden with Ice and vegetables
for the sick and wounded soldiers. Why
may not some humanitarian miss thus
assemble enough dimes, from the people
of Los Angeles, to provide ample free
bathing facilities for the children of the
poor of this city?
The primary is what its name Im
plies. It is the Initial step. It is where
genuine reforms must be incubated.
Well-meaning Democrats must not
complain, either ot candidates or plat
form, if they neglect the obvious duty
of attending the primaries and assist
ing the party in putting its best foot
The Fifth Illinois has been ordered to
the front. This Is the regiment that
last week rebelled against being detained
at Chattanooga. When Americans enlist
they assume that they will have an
opportunity to shoot. There ts an im
plied obligation to give it to them.
A country big enough to thrash Spain
should he able to easily knock out a few
of the big trusts, that constitute a more
dangerous enemy to the people than the
Spaniard. In our search for evils be
yond our borders let us not wholly over
look the evils at home.
Neither President Dole nor Minister
Sewell will thank General Otis for the
suggestion made to them the other day
that Hawaii will hay* no governor for
a while. Each had ordered a dress
suit for the inaugural ball.
The only open question now Is the dis
position of the Philippines. Upon that
more light Is needed. It may be forth
coming before the commission to which
It is to be referred shall have completed
its labors.
The silver forces of Nebraska yester
day united upon a strong fusion ticket,
sure to win. The silver question may
be dead, but it is developing Into an
extremely lively corpse.
Mrs. Nelson of Wisconsin has found
her lost hat pin. It was discovered by
Roentgen rays In the stomach of her
18-months-old baby.
Start an endless chain collection for
free bath houses for the poor. The
scheme will bankrupt no one and will be
a sure winner.
California put a cool million Into
Uncle Sam's war chest last month, ln
the way of stamp taxes.
We shall get nothing from Spain we
do not definitely ask for. We do not ask
for the Philippines.
War news will have to be relegated
to inside pages now. Peace news only
deserves featuring.
Blanco might as well prepare for his
farewell reception. He can easily haz
ard the date.
Camara has at last discovered that
he hasn't much of a fleet after all.
For Cuba llbre, substitute annexation.
That Is the drift.
How dear to my heart are the war-time
I've cherished in mem'ry of sorrows and
In the days when I tramped through the
dust of Virginia,
Or splashed through Its mud with the rest
of the boys;
There's a rusty old saber I never will part
A faded old cap and a Jacket of blue,
A battered canteen and a haversack hold
Some squares of the hardtack we all had
to chew!
The Iron-bound hardtack,
The moss-covered hardtack!
The old urmy hardtack we all had to
There was hardtack from wars of a past
Which remained unconsumed until about
It was rumored that some, which defied
Was marked "Vera Cruz" or was lettered
"B. C."
What a triumph was this for the skill of
the baker!
Indestructible product, defying time's
But It could not resist the assaults of our
The grinders we had In the days of our
The Bunker Hill hardtack!
The 1812 hardtack!
The old army hardtack we ate In; our
Oh! youth can make feasts of the coarsest
of viands.
And never again shall we veterans feel
Buch a zest ln our lives as 'way back in
the '60s,
When hardtack 'sufficed tot create a
"square" meal.
Though now we may dine at more sump
tuous tables,
We'd gladly exchange all the dainties
they yield
For the hearty enjoyment, the youthful
That seasoned the hardtack we ate In the
The bullet-proof hardtack!
The Iron-clad hardtack!
The old army hardtack we ate In the
—Charles E. Sprague In the New York
Mail and Express.
The Gentleman ln the Bald Wig—Got that
thread tied around your finger to help you
remember something?
The Gentleman with the Green Whiskers
—That is not a string. It Is a horse hair, to
help me remember the mane,—lndianapolis
Sagasta. the present Spanish prime min
ister, is a stiffly built, frog-faced man, with
a strong Jaw, a wide, insincere smile, and
black, filmy eyes, as of an Arab ora gyps.-.
He has the glib word, the expansive man
ner, and the exuberant gesture of the
south. There is one charge which his
most embittered enemies dare not bring
against him—that of cowardice. His con
victions may be centered upon himself, but
most emphatically he has the courage of
them. Over and above his vast astuteness
of thought, he Is a man of action. If for
many years he has proven himself as sup
ple as a serpent, his earlier history showed
him to be as brave as a Hon. He fought
against O'Donnel in the streets of Madrid
in 1856 at the head of a regiment of militia.
Before that, as a lad of IS. when a stu
dent at the college of engineers a; I.ogrono,
his native place, he hesitated not to with
stand the. behests of the dreaded Nervaez.
Whenever the time came for fighting, he
was ready to take his share, yet, without
Impeaching the undeniable physical pluck
of which he has given many proofs, it is
not surprising to find that he made it'his
first duty as a soldier to prevent himself
from being unnecessarily killed. Hence in
the summer of 1866. while many of his col
leagues stuck to their barricades In the
streets of Madrid, and were massacred,
Sagasta underwent the much more con
venient fate of being condemned to) the
uncomfortable death of the garrote—ln
his absence.
o o o
Thenceforward, for two years, London.
Paris and Ostend were the centers of his
activity, and. If walls could speak, a cer
tain restaurant in Bishopsgate street could
till some strange stories. He engineered
the revolution of 1866, and drove Isabella
11. from the throne and this time fortune
favored him. When Topete and the fleet
had been won over, and most of the army
was squared, the signal was given. Sagasta
and Zorllla (as pure a patriot as ever lived
but too honest and consistent to be a suc
cessful modern Spanish politician,) with
Prim as a servant ln livery, sailed under
assumed names, ln the steamer Delta, from
London to Gibraltar, early In the Septem
ber of thirty years ago.
o o o
I cannot be surprised at our American
cousins for loathing the very name of Sa
gasta with the keenest of 'hatred —second
only to that which they have for Gen. Wey
ler. It was because of his direct action ln
187,1 that tho Infamous Gen. Burrlll shot
eight Americans in one day, and four days
afterwards shot Captain Fry, General
Ryan and fifty-eight more. Indeed, of all
prime ministers that Spain has ever had.
Sagasta has been the most merciless and
unreliable. He Is a Tallyrand-Blsmarck,
witih a strong flavor of Torquemada.
o o o
Even now the old man's astounding good
luck may be depended upon to bring him
to the surface again, although he has Just
exceeded man's allotted span. But there
is a more patient and dogged enemy than
the paltry politicians who are in opposition
to Sagasta. This is no less a person than
General Weyler himself. The two men
have clashed for years, and when Sagasta
dismissed his enemy and put Blanco in his
place, as captnln-general of Cuba, he made
a most unwise move, for his own interest
and for the peace of his closing years.
Weyler has too much of the slow-moving
Dutch blood of his father to act without
discretion. So he watches and waits.—T.
P. O'Connor ln M. A. P.
Bitter and Sneering Speech
Senator Hoar's ascription of "bitter and
sneering speech" to Prof. Charles Elliot
Norton recalls some samples of the species
In the past. Here are some specimens:
No one could say a sharp or bitter thins
with more complete coolness thnn Lord
Westbury, who was made lord chancellor
of England! ln 1861. He remarked, with this
misleading gentleness, when some one
spoke of the chief justice of the common
pleas, "I think that with a liMle more ex
perience Bovlll will probably make the
worst judge in England."
It was he who wrote the famous quatrain
In reference to the Tlchborne ease, when
the Imposter, Arthur Orion, was claiming
the family estates on the ground that he
was Sir Robert Tlchborne:
"Say Messrs. Baxter, Rose and Norton,
The plaintiff Is not Arthur Orton.
But don't deny, which is Important,
That he has done what Arthur oughtn't."
He was always ready to speak his mind,
and that quaintly, ln language which
stayed In the memory. After retiring from
the woolsack, that is, from the office of lord
chancellor, he took a very active part ln
the house of lords' sitting as a court of ap
peal, where his colleagues were Lord
Chelmsford and Lord Colonsay. Lord' St.
Leonards, who was penlor to them all, nev
er attended. One day Lord Westbury
chanced to meet him and said to him:
"My dear St. Leonards, why don't you
come down and give us your valuable as
sistance in the house of lords?"
"Ah," said 9t. Leonardh, "I should be of
no use. I am old and blind and stupldt."
"My dear lord." said Westbury, "that
does not signify in the least. I am old,
Chelmsford Is blind and Colonsay Is Stupid;
yet we make the very best court of appeals
which has ever sat in that assembly."—
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Why He Quit
A Swede who was one of a gang of men
employed ln a large planing mill in a north
western town, went one day to the manager
of the mill and remarked that he thought
Johnson, the foreman, hadtqutt, says.Short
"What!" said the manager, "Johnson
quit? Why, man, he has been In our em
ploy for twenty years."
"Well, I tank he quit," said the Swede.
"He has never complained," said the
"Jr Men's Summer
/ r- \ SuitS - Clearance Prlces
I _, « The following genuine reductions should
\ 1 interest prospective suit buyers—
! 7 "Jj Men's $10 Summer Suits, now.. $7.50
€ I// Men's $12 Summer Suits, now. $10.00
7if | Men's $15 Summer Suits, n0w..512.00
fill I Men's $18 and $20 Summer Suits.sls.oo
| YOU ARE IN EXT . . |
# That's what it should have been, but the type in yesterday's advertise- *}
d ment maJe us say "YOU ARE NOT." As this is an important matter, we will #
repeat the question and answer. #
i QUESTION—When In the best time to enler your school? 0
# ANSWKK-NOW! provided you are ready. Our Sohobllsin perpetual motion. 0
\ August too hot' Not obit. We have nioe cool rooms, reached by elevator, «nd even jg
W the lariest ner.on—but if you are lazy don't come. Yuu will do us more harm than *Z
m Rood No, August l< nil right. We have a loodly number in attendance just now f>
g\ who are doing splendid work. YOU AM! NEXT. A
m SHORT AND I'RISP. If you have only live or tlx weeks to spare, COME m
5 RIOriT ALONG! We arc giving ii short and rrlsp course in bookkeeping during the i
f? summer It Is worth ten Unfesits ooit to anybody, Including yourself, come up to w
0 our office to talk the matter over. For interesting reading matter address the §>
€ 212 West Third Street J
'% ; %^^ /^%^/^l »-^ /%/% ■%■■%■'^%-'%%^*-%'»V%O
■ . j; ls an abbreviation ot the words "SOBER OFF," and
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manager, "and, hesldeß, he was the best
paid man in the mill. Why should he quit?
Has he a better Job?"
"I tank he quit." repeated 1 the Swede,
doggedly. Than, motioning to he manager
to follow him, he led the way to a place In
the boom from which the logs had been re
moved. The water was clear and deep, and
on the bottom of the river lay the body of
Johnson, the foreman.
"There," said! the Swede, triumphantly,
pointing to the drowned form, "you tank
Johnson he quit?"
In a London Court
Justice Newton was in a reminiscent
mood not long ago, relates a London
"I had Samuel Watson, a laborer, before
me the other day, whose son was run ov-r
by a light cart owing to alleged negligence
on the part of the father. When I ques
tioned WBtson he proved himself a master
of mystification in his answers. Here Is
the dialogue as near as I can remember It;
" 'What is your name?'
M "I work as Jim West, am known at
home as Jim Ford, but the police say my
name Is Jlim Watson.'
" 'What was your father's name?'
" 'West.'
" 'How comes the name Watson?'
*' That was my mother's name, and they
was not married.'
" 'And how does the name Ford arrive?'
" That's my missus' name, and we ain't
" 'But this child, then, should be Snmuel
Ford—this child that was run over.'
"I don't know what Its name is. I was
married, hut my wife is d«>ad'.'
" 'Where's your wife now—l mean Mrs.
" 'Oh, she's at 'Olloway jail.'
" "What's sihe dblng there?'
" 'A month." "
Setting Himself Bight
"Hooray," exclaimed Senator Sorghum,
as he met a friend on the capltol steps.
"What are you cheering about?"
"We've made all the arrangements for
annexing Hawaii."
"But you were wholly opposed to that
"No. sir. I decline to be misrepresented.
I decline to have my senilments misunder
stood by posterity. You've no idea of the
trouble and expense It oook to keep me
from coming over long ago."—Washington
Her Trouble
"I understand she has had an attack of
nervous prosfrntion."
"Oh, dear, no; not at all."
"But the doctor said—"
"I know he did at first, hut Just as soon
as he learned the slz» of her husband's
income, he changed his mind and said that
she wus merely overcome by that tired
feeling."—Chicago Post.
Anxious to Know
"Gave up your Sunday school class of
young women? What for?
"They kept telling me how sorry they
were because they were not men, so they
could go to fight their country's battles."—
Chicago Tribune.
Musical Effect
The Manager—This battle piece is all
right, except that you seem to have omitted
the groans of the wounded.
The Orchestra Leader—l expect those to
be furnished by the audience.—lndianapo
lis Journal.
Wife—Here's a letter from the Scotts.
asking us to spend a week with them in
Husband—Lets see. Fare's $18. If they'd
make it two weeks, or pay fare one way,
we could do it.—Brooklyn Life.
Not the First
Mr. Bryan Is not the firs! man who has
enlisted to fight for his country and re
ceived the sneers of stay-at-homes whose
partisanship is much stronger than their
patriotism.—Omaha World-Herald.
Too Personal
Old Gotrox—l don't wish you fur a son
in-law. sir.
Young Man—No? You haven't any
other good position you could give a fel
low, have you?— Truth.
Differentiated Again
"What Is the difference between an opti
mist and a pessimist?
"An optimist believes ln mascots and a
pessimist in hoodoos."—lndlnanapolls
"I nave come back from the Klondike to
get into politics, tor I have considerable to
attend to ln this Una
Tom Savage: With my friends and,
those who are not.
Did I bring back a sack? Well, I have got
enough to keep me for a while, and 1 do not
Intend to hurry back to that country. Say.
but the town has grown all right, all r-.ght.
It's a warm place here, and that Is more
than can be said for any burg on the Yu
kon. The other boys? Oh, there's a whole
gang of them up there. Ed Nlles, he got
enough, and came back to 'Frisco. Will
he come, down here? Will a duck swim?
No, I am not going to run for the council
again. My former constituents seem to
i have said some time ago that they pre
ferred someone else, but I am going to be
in It just the same. People will know I
am here when the campaign opens."
o o o
"No, I don't play golf, but I ride my wheel
considerably and walk more. 1 ami down
at the beach most of
Charll.Slo.ne: th " """' and ***
I„ r.olf Clothes. ,hf9e to « s more tha "
comfortable. I expect
It does look queer to see a fellow at tha
theater in this rig; but, after all, comfort
Is more to be considered than what that
collective noun, 'the people,' may say about
a fellow's appearance. Come ln and sea
Coote chew celery."
o o o
•'Real estate Investors should make small
purchases and a lot of them if they want
to make quick proiits
p. A. Stanton: »nd c ones °» th »
Investment. It is
murh easier to buy three lots for about flf
;een hundred dollars in all and to sell the
whole of them at a good advance than it
is to purchase one fifteen-hundred-dollar
piece of property and moke a turn on It.
Country real estate Is to be the thing now,
I believe that with the return of peace you
will see more rush for Southern California
property than ever was the case before,
particularly ln the sugar beet regions."
o o o
"Yes, I had to come back from Terminal
to the city. You see. there,are,'no link*
there, and a golfef
Joe Cook: "t" 10 ' S et aIon S an y
length of time with
out his favorite sport. The Los Angeles)
club Is considering the acquirement of new
quarters, and I think it very likely we will
secure a piece of land near the Convent
ichool, on Pico street. We need about for»
ty-flve or fifty acres, and we can easily get
lust what we want there or ln half a dozen
other places. We expect to have the most
perfect links in the state, and we are veryt
likely to have the best players, as well.''
The Fleur-de-Lis Design
Don't think that the fleur-de-lis can eve*
become too common to wear. It Is the most
beautiful combination of mere lines in the
world; and, however degraded, is always
royal. It has several mystical meanings
and a whole philosophy could be interpreted
from It. The origin is unknown, but, being
In one sense a symbol of the trinity, it is
found ln the ornaments of nearly all re
ligions.—Edmund Russell.
Difficulties of Annexation
The eastern question seems to us im
measurably more formidable than the
western one. There may be objections tot
the annexation of Cuba, but that action
involves no change ln our form of gov
ernment, while what has been done in tha
Sandwich Islands and Is threatened In the
Philippine Islands amounts to a revolu
tion there.—Boston Herald.
Write for circulars and full Information
as to special advantages, rates, manner ot
reaching, etc.. mentioning The Herald
Magnetic Springs,
Mountain House; heart of the Santa Crui
mountains; hot and cold magnetic baths
free; cottages for families; stage meet*
8-16 train from San Francisco. Terms to
suit every health-seeking person. Partle-
Ittlars ot L. V. PERHACB, Qlenwood, Cat

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