Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel], October 22, 1905, Image 35

About Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911

Image provided by: University of California, Riverside; Riverside, CA

                
VIRGINIA'S CURL PAPERS
npIIE scene is the Casino during the
I Sunday evening concert. The
characters are — but they will speak
for themselves. The subject is a little
piece of gossip which has fluttered
about the cottages for a few hours.
Mrs. "Lissy" Carrollton (the acknowl
ledgedI edged leader of the "glided gang,"
nodding her white lace hat with its
gorgeous plumes significantly) — Have
you heard the news? Isn't it the most
shocking?
Mrs. Wimbleton-Westchester .(di-
Ivorced from her husband and married
to another, who divorced his wife to
marry her) — Simply scandalous, and I
shall never speak to her again! It is
against my rule to notice any one about
whom there is the smallest scandal.
My circle may have to narrow down,
but. if it gets to four people I shall
stick to my principles. She is beneath
notice and I have put a line through
her name on my list already. She gets
no bid to my dinner-dance on the 27th.
"Artie" Vane, a lady's man, leaning
back indolently in his chair and fan
ning himself languidly with a gold
spangled fan— l advised her to go slow
when I was looking over her new
evening frocks. I said, "Winnie, girl,
you'll make a serious faux pas if you do
it. Dakota is a thoroughly narsty
place in summer, and it's getting beast
ly mlddleclarse to leave your husband.
Take my advice, honey, and cut it out."
But she just put her arms around my
neck and said: "Artie, my darling-, it's
too late. I have engaged a cottage at
Sioux Falls and paid three months in
advance, and it would never do to lose
the money. But 1 won't forget you,
PECK'S BAD BOY WITH THE CIRCUS
Bolivar Swatted Pa Clear Across the Ring
GEE, but I must be an easy mark.
I have got so I bet on a sure
thing, and when a fellow bets
on n sure thing he is bound to" lose.
It was this way. The show arrived
in Washington, D. C., on a Sunday
morning and, as usual, all the boys in
town came to the lot to see us put up
the tents. I was around with pa ami
the boss canvasman, and the town
boys could see I belonged to the show,
and they envied me and wanted to get
acquainted with me, so I would let
them walk around with me and go
into the tents Sunday afternoon and
see the animals.
There was one boy with a sojfc of
rough rider hat on and buckskin
fringe on his pants and everybody
said he was a senator's son, but the
other boys had rather be acquainted
with me, because I belonged to the
show and I took pity on the senator's
son and let him walk with me, without
looking cross at him or. snubbing him,
as I do most boys who try to butt in
or. me. I got to liking the senator's
son and had him come in the tent, and
we put in the afternoon looking at the
animals.
The elephants were chewing hay and
looking fierce, and the senator's boy
said elephants were the greatest cow
ards on earth, and I said, "Not on
your life; the giant In our show is the
greatest coward and the behemoth of
holy writ is next." The senator's sou
said elephants were such cowards they
were afraid of mice, and we could take
a trap full of mice and turn them loose
In the ring and the elephants would
stampede, and he would bet five dol
lars on It. I excused myself for a mo
dovey, and when I come back, no mat
ter whose name I bear, I'll always be
the same to you!" I kissod her fondly,
then, but, of course, I'll cut her dead
when she returns — anything so fright
fully middleclarse would never do
for me!
The Only Mrs. Babblngton (who has
entertained four Tsars, a Sultan and a
Shah or* two aboard her yacht) — Aw,
naturally, we don't do such things on
the other side. It's only over here in
your America that such things hap
pen. I wrote to the sultan last even
ing and said: "Dear friend, she's no
associate of mine. Hest assured of
that." Naturally, "he's very particular
übout the women he knows, and no one
In the least promiscuous would ever
be admitted to his seraglio. The last
time we chatted together, just before
the Tsar came aboard the Aphrodite,
he said, "Chere Madame Babble, I
want you to be very choice about the
women you know, for my sake!" and I
promised him faithfully.
The Only Mr. Babbington (stroking
his pointed beard and looking unc
tuously bland) — Ya-a-s, when the
prince and I were strolling about Pic
cadilly he expressed the wish that I
would never bo Intimate with any but
the roynl family. You are so rash in
your acquaintances over here! (The
Only Mr. B. carefully unfolds his Lon
don Times from his pocket and glances
casually through it. N. B. — The Bab
bingtons are both Americans.
Mrs. Willy De Lisle (who has only
just "arrived," after a struggle in
which there was almost bloodshed with
the elect, who wanted to keep her out
because her father made his millions in
ready made garments. Two years ago
Mrs. Willy had never been heard of
In Newport) — I certainly think we
ir.ent and .told pa what the senator's
sou offered to bet, and pa said: "Here's
$50, and you can take all the bets you
can get. Why, this herd of elephants
would walk on mice, and rats, too. You
bet with him and tell him to bring
along all the rats and mice he can find
In the White House and you can turn
them Into the ring Monday afternoon
when the elephants do their turn, and
if an elephant bats an eye I will eat
his ears for mushrooms."
Took the Bet
I went back to young Mr. Senator
and took his bet and told him I had
plenty more money to bet the same
way, and he said the next afternoon
he would come with his mice and rats
and a lot of money to bet that you
couldn't hold that flock of elephants
with log chains when he opened his
bag of rats and mice.
Well, how it got into the papers I do
not know, but the next morning they
all said an interesting experiment
would be made the next afternoon at
the great and only circus to determine
once and for all whether elephants
were afraid of mice, and that a sen
ator's son and a son of one of the pro
prietors of the show would conduct
the experiment by turning loose a lot
of mice and rats In the rings at pre
cisely 3:30 p. m. ■
Well, you never saw such a crowd in
a circus as we had that afternoon. It
seemed as though the whole popula
tion turned out, foreign ministers, ne
groes, society people and clerks. That
senator's son and the whole family,
and the neighbors, must have been up
all night catching mice and rats, and
It took nine boys and three servants
to carry the baskets and traps and
bags of mice and rats. I passed them
all in and we lined up on. a front seat
LOS ANGELES HERALD SUNDAY. SUPPLEMENT.
ought to do something to crowd her
out. Society Is getting so mixed these
days! I don't know what we'll come
to if we keep letting In Tom, Dick and
Harry! It's too plebeian for me, and 1
mean to cut her more for her lack of
family than for anything she's done.
Fancy It, her grandfather was In trade!
People, of course, of sufficient position
can do anything they please, but for
any one in trade to presume to such
things! (She shudders visibly and
draws her 4hread lace scarf mora
closely about her).
Madame la Cointesse (an American
heiress wedded to a lightweight French
nobleman who is making ducks and
drakes of her fortune) — Mats elle est
maintenant delcassee. One cannot, not
urellement, associate with one who has
— how do you call it In your English".'—
une petite tacho connected with her
name. He only married her In the first
place for her money — que voulez-vous
alors, she had nothing but money —
absolument rien!
Gwyndolyn van Gildersleeve (the
acknowledged belle and beauty of the
coterie. Her picture is always in the
papers and she is referred to as "one
of our most cultured and intellectual
girls." She has been presented at court
and her portrait .is in the Beauty book).
A Senator's Son Bets the Bad Boy That Elephants Are Cow
ards—They Let a Bag of Rats Loose at the
Afternoon Performance
HON. GEORGE W. PECK
to wait for the elephant stunt, and
when the thing was ripe .^e were to
empty the whole mess of vermin into
the ring.
Something Was Wrong -
I felt aa though something was
wrong, 'pause I saw the new moon
over my left shoulder the night before,
and now I wish I hud died before this
thing happened. When the Japanese
jugglers went out of the ring I knew
that was the cue for the elephants to
come in, and when the dressing room
curtain was pulled aside and old Boli
var came out at the head of the herd
and they marched around the outside
of the ring, clear around the tent, my
heart jumped up into my throat and
I felt sick.
The senator's boy said: "When these
rats and things begin to chase your
eld elephants you won't be able to sen
the tails ior the dust they will kick
up."
Then I thought of the money pa hod
given me to bet, and I offered to bet It
all, and a negro produced funds and
took my bets like a bookmaker.
Well, after doing a turn around the
big ring the trainer steered the ele
phants into the middle ring and the
great audience leaned forward to catch
every trick the elephants did. Us boys
held on to the bags that the mice and
things were in, waiting for our cue.
I The elephants stood on their heads
and hind feet and fore feet, laid down,
fired pistols and did everything.
Finally the trainer formed the whole
herd into a grand pyramid, with old
Bolivar in the center, each elephant
holding an American flag with his
trunk and waving it, and the audience
broke out into a cheer that fairly
ripped the canvas.
"Come On!"
Then I said to young Mr. Senator:
"Come on with your rats now and I
win $50."
All hands picked up, the baskets and
bags and went to the side of th» ring
and emptied the whole bunch of more
than 800 into the ring. The rats and
mice rushed for the elephants and then
turned and made a rush for the re
served seats.
Oh, dear! what a time we had. The
elephants got down off that pyramid
so quick it would make your h.ead
swim, and old Bolivar trumpeted In
abject fear, and tried to break away,
but pa came along with a tent stake
and hit Bolivar over the head, and
— Chee. I think she done r.oble! When
I turns over me face and fortun' to
one o' youse wise guys (with a lan
guishing look at Artie), youse'll comt
home some fine day and find your goil
has flew de coop. No blankety-blank
hum-drum married lolfe fer mine!
Dakota every time! Saves? (She hums
t"v» "Palms" which the orchestra has
Just finished playing to a rag time
tempo and shuffles her daintily aftoh
feet. All regard her with a spasm of
admiration).
Artie— Gwennie, you're the right stuff,
but I cawn't marry you, angel, be
cause I've promised Mrs. "Llssy" to be
engaged to her until "Lissy" dies and
then to step Into his shoes. But if
you'll wait until Mrs. "Llssy" goes the
way of all flesh I'll make you Mrs.
Artie No. 2. What do you say, peaches;
Is it a go?"
Gwendolyn (holding out a richly jew
eled hand with beautifully manicured
nails)— Your mit on It, Artie; I'll marry
you some time when I've married a fow
others.
Mrs. "Lissy" (shrilly, kicking Artie
with her watered silk slipper)— Now.
see here, cuteness, you're not to go en
gaging yourself to any one but me
nor making any dates after my death.
If you do, I'll break with you now, and
Ex-Governor of Wisconsin).
told the trainer to put the elephants j
back Into the pyramid and hold them
there till the bell rung for them to
cease their stunt. The trainer couldn't
do anything with them and they bel- j
lowed and dodged mice and shied at
rats, and Bolivar took his trunk and
swatted pa clear across the ring.
The elephants followed Bolivar to
the main entrance, each elephant try
ing to walk on the heels of the one
ahead of him and all the circus hands
trying to head off the elephants, but
they wouldn't head off. They were
simply scared to death, and they
broke out the side of the tent near
the lemonade stand and went whoop
ing out into the open air and freedom,
while the audience yelled with joy.
Young Mr. Senator said to me,
"What do you think of. elephants
now?" •
I told him to take his money and be
darned.
The audience was getting nervous,
so the band struck up "A Hot Time In
the Old Town," and they were quiet
ing down as the curtain to the dress-
Ing room raised and the horses for the
chariot race came out. Just then a
woman with red socks got up on a
chair In the press seats and pulled her
dress away up and yelled "Rats!" and
another woman screamed and jumped
up on a seat with her clothes at half
roast and yelled that there were mice
on the seats. In less than two min
utes every woman in the aud'ence and
the bearded Woman and the fat woman
were standing up on something, hold
ing up their dresses and shaking their
skirts and screaming, and when the
fat woman fell into the arms of the
bearded woman in . a faint and the
bearded woman dropped the fat
woman, pa told the bearded woman he
was ashamed of her for screaming,
•cause she ought to be more of a man
than that. '„'-■'•
Well, every mouse and rat in the
bunch seemed to be looking for women
to scream at them and there was no
use trying to run a show with such an
excited audience, so pa had the band
play "Good Night, Ladies," and he an
nounced that the performance might be
considered over for the afternoon.
Everybody made a rush for the exits.
Kach woman held up her skirts and
fairly galloped to get away from the
mice and rats.
They all got out of the tent finally
and then the managers had a meeting
to find out who started the trouble
W V 'If 'IP 'V 'V TVV 'V V VV p * *V V V~ T Vl♦♦4•■ •■ ■«
"Llssy" so near drinking himself to
death, too!
(Artie takes out his embroidered
handkerchief, trimmed with lace, and
weeps into is picturesquely).
Gwendolyn (a sorrowful expression on
her exquisite face) — T'run down!
Mrs. Wimbleton-Westchester— But all
this Is miles from Dakota and Mrs.
"Puggy" Rucgles. I want, to see that
woman punished for hn' conduct. Let's
give her such a cold shoulder when she
gets her Oecree that nhe'll have to
.drown herselt! We inunt maintain prin
ciple Jn our set or people will begin to
talk about vis.
The Only Mrs. Babbiiigton— Yes, don't
you know, it would never do to get
ourselves talked about. People of quito
no family are all going to Dakota these
days and getting their names in th«
papers. So frightfully bourgeois! As I
said to the shah:
The Only Mr. Babbington, looking up
from his Times— Wasn't it the grand
duke to whom you refer, my dear? I
remember your little chat with him at
the pink breakfast we gave him on the
Aphrodite. You told him how strange
American ways seemed to you and how
you feared you would never get ac
customed. I also said to the emperor,
"Cher garcon, for uncouthness com
mend me to the Americans!"
Gwendolyn, In tin undertone — Come
off the roof, Babbie!
Mrs. Willy De Lisle, laying her
hand on the Only Mrs. B's— l quite
agree with you, clear Mrs. Babbie.
We must certainly give her the cold
shoulder and make her feel her place.
She gets no bid to my vaudeville on the
30th, and I've asked her to return the
I nnd what it was best to do about it.
I was sitting alone on a front seat,
thinking over the scenes of the after
noon and wondering what the young
| senator's son would do with the
I money he won of me and whether he
had depopulated the White House of
Hits and mice, so the president would
notice it. I was thinking about ele
phants and wondering if they were
cowards by nature, or had acquired
cowardice by associating with man
kind, when pa came along and sat
down by me, a picture of despair,
'cause Bolivar had fractured one of his
ribs and the fat woman had paralyzed
his knees sitting on his lap while they
In ought her to after she fainted when
she thought a rat was climbing into
her sock.
Pa sighed and said: "Hennery, I
wanted an exciting life, to keep mi
from brooding over advancing age,
and I chose the circus business, but 1
find it is rather too strenuous. for me.
Each day something occurs to try my
nerves. I do not claim that you are
Nearly Fell
Off His Stool
TEDDY had been taken up to Olym
pus so often by the Bronze Run
ner that the trip became very easy
the north of town. It is the first. to
for him. Sometimes he didn't even
know when it happened until he found
himself in the great hall among the
gods and goddesses. Once when ho
came in that way he laughed when he
opened his eyes and called out merrily,
"Here I am again." And from some
where across the great hall came a
faint "Again."
Teddy nearly fell off his stool.
"Who's that mocking me?" he asked,
half angrily.
Everybody laughed, and Cupid came
to sit beside Teddy.
"Why, that's only Echo," he said.
"Haven't you heard her on earth some
times when you were shouting pretty
loud?"
"Why, yes," said Teddy slowly, "but
I didn't know she was a god— goddeßs,
I mean."
bridge prizes she won at my house
last winter. It isn't so much the laxity
of her behavior, but I never could abldo
any one in trade. That Is a social Bin
I positively cannot forgive.
Mine, La Comtcsse (taking out her
vanity box and discreetly retouching
lips, chin and the tips of her ears-,
Mon dieu, comme elle est bete. She
was always so vain. She must have
known it was merely sa dot that was
her charm. What need of vertu when
one has une dot? As our dear Flaubert
so cleverly said, "La Femme riche
semble avoir autour d'elle, pour gar
der sa vertu, tous ses billets de banque.
That any woman could: consent to be
cared for for her money— Figurezvous!
Artie (pinching her cheek, then re
garding his fingers dolefully)— Ter
riblement awful, nicht wahr? Only just
flgurez-vous if any one cared for you
for your rocks, adoree Comtessel
Mine. La Comtesse (extending the tip
of her dainty pink tongue and elevating
her already retrousse nez) — Mechant:
As if une telle chose were possible!
Mrs. "Lissy" (serenely)— Well, any
how, Mrs. Puggy's queered herself for
all time arid eternally and she gets the
marble heart from me. Miller, my
butler, told me some time ago he didn't
want me to have anything more to do
with the woman. I'm having hlfi
miniature done now by Raffellni, who
did the king, you know, and I'm afraid
he wouldn't sit r.ny more if I didn't
strike her off my list after this. A
swagger, English butler is naturally of
twite as much account as any mere
Mrs. Puggy Ruggles!
At this moment Mrs. "Puggy" her
self appears, having changed her mind
"Pa, Do Not Feir"
io Diame for it all, but I think I could
enjoy my position with the show if
you would take the first train that goes
north and leave me for a while. What
I need is rest. Go, boy, go!"
I felt sorry for pa, but I put my arm
around him and I said: "Pa, do not
fear. I will never desert you until
the season Is over. Wherever you go
I will go and I will keep you awake.
"Well, she isn't. She was Just a wood
nymph who lived in a tree."
"Can I see her?" asked Teddy.
"No, she's nothing but a voice now. If
Juno doesn't mind Apollo will tell you
why she is such a queer creature."
All the gods looked toward the queen,
who frowned and flashed a little, and
Iris, who hurried in, began to cool her
with a long fan made of peacock
feathers.
"Well," she said, after a pause; "it
makes me mad every time I think of it,
but I don't mind for once. Don't be
long about it, Apollo."
Teddy listened eagerly and Apollo
sane:
ECHO
Echo one day wont dancing away
Whore tho shadows stir in tlio wood.
She was fresh and fair as tho roae in
her hair, : ;• •*
But she wasn't so very good.
She gosßiped away the livelong day
And chattered and laughed and played
Till Juno came by, with her head held
And muttered, "Where Is that maid?
"I sent har this way, when the dawn
was gray.
To polish tho face of tho moon.
■Twas dim last night, all frosty and
white.
But she could have finished by noon.
about going to Dakota, and announc
ing that she Is going to give the "big
gest ever" of the Newport season. Bhe
swoops down upon the group, address
ing each familiarly by his or her first
name. "And what have you been gos
siping about, pals?"
Mrs. "Llssy" (reproachfully)— Go
ssiping! That Is something we never
do. Surely you know us better than
that, my dear Winnie.
Mrs. Wimbleton-Westchester—Char
ity for every one, above all else, that'a
my creed.
Artie Vane (taking out his gold
bound date book) — I can let you have
tomorrow, darling, at harf after
twelve.
The Only Mrs. B.— l trust you -will
join us on the Aphrodite, dearest Win
ifred, when we go over again.
The Only Mr. B.— Pray do; you shall
have the stateroom the empress occu
pied.
Mrs. Willy de Lisle— How can you
mention that odious word gossip? It
is a thing I never soil my lips with,
and as far as you are concerned — you
know the sincere esteem in which I
have always held your entire family,
Winnie, my dear!
Madame la Comtesse— Your beauty,
cherie, exempts you from any un
kind tongues. Nothing but good can
be said of you, croyez-mol!
Gwendolyn van Gildersleeve— Gossip!
Us?— Nit!
Then they all crowd around Mrs.
"Puggy," coddling and fondling her.
and begging for bids to her "biggest."
The orchestra plays "A Great Big Girl
Like Me" and perfect happiness prer
vails.
don't fear. Now that we are groin*
into the sunny south, where every
tuan may have it in for you, 'cause you
were a Yankee soldier, I will stay by,
you, and there will be things doing
that will make you think the past has
been a sweet dream. See, pa?"
Pa sighed again and said: "This is
too much!" and he rushed oft to find
the elephants.
"We're late this spring with everything,
And Echo must do her share.
Now, where has sho gone since ths
break of dawn?"
Echo mockingly called back, "Where?"
"You're a parrot bird to repeat my
word,
There are still tho stars to do,
And tho cobwebs here — who'll brush
them clear?"
Echo gleefully sang out, "Who?"
"You Insolent Miss, you shall smart for
this!
You shall be like a parrot bird.
Save to mock away at what others say,
You never shall speak a word.
"Of what youve heard, repeat ono
The last shall be your choice —
Even grasses and trees can sing in tho
br«eze.
But you must borrow a voice."
As the singer ended, far in the dis-«
tance came the faint echo: "Voice."
"l'm sorry for her," said Teddy, and,
he hitched his stool a little further
away from Juno. _
Not a Real Golfer
Sandy having been asked If Mr,
Meadowcroft was a golfer, replied: ,
"Weel, no, not a real one. : He missed
a game to be at home when his second
child was born."— Chicago Record-Heri