Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel], June 18, 1906, Page 6, Image 6

About Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911

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6
LOS ANGELES HERALD
BY THE HERALD COMPANY
rnANK o. ntriiATWii,'. ... .rf»«w««*
ROUT. M.YOST IMItxrUI M««in«**
o,lft. UTIIHTT....IH»t»"' MmiMW
OLDEST MORNTNd PAPEB IN
LOS ANOEUS9.
r»m«*H Oo«. 9. IWfc Thlrtr-***** ▼••*•
. Ctmmti** «f Commtw nntldlng.
■ TF,LBrHONTSB — Sunlit, Pr«M 11.
Ham*, Th« Herald. _,
i Official Paper of Los An X eles
'- Th« enly n»m«cratlß newipaper In
Botithen. California r«e*lvln» th» full
AtfoclftUd Pr«s« report*.
SSrWI PKRVICB— Member of the Ai
poel»t«a Pr*>mi, receiving Its full r«
l»rt. tvirairlnir 25,000 word» » Jay.
EASTERN AOKNT— 3. P. McKlnn»y,
SOD Potttr building, N«w York; til
Iloye* building, Chicago.
. RATES OP" SUHSCntPTION, WITH
SUNDAY MAOAZINB.
Pullf, by carrier, per m0nth......} .*»
Dully, by mull, three montha 1.98
r>sllr, by mn 11. six m0nth*. ....... 8.80
n«lly. br mull, one year 7.80
Bttprfny ITeraia. by mull, on« your.. 2.J0
Wmkl» HoraM. by mall, ona yar. 1.00
Entered at Postofflca, Los Anc«l«s,
■• Becond-clas* Matter.
THE HERALD IN BAN FRANCISCO
AND OAKLAND— Los Angeles «nd
Southern California visitors to Ban
Francisco and Oakland will find The
Herald on sals at th« news stands in
the San Francisco Ferry building and
on the streets In Oakland by "Wheatley
&nd by Amos News Co.
Population of Los Angeles 238.419
Did you also have a hot time'yes
terday, along with the weather?
Certainly" It Is warm; what ' do you
expect in mid-June? Icebergs?
Will the city also be compelled to
operate municipal truck gardens?
Also, the "roast beef of old England"
needs fumigating. Oh, there are others!
With Arizona and New Mexico It Is
going to be: "Divided, we stand; united,
we fall."
Ths O. O. P. Is fifty years "old. One
would imagine it were old enough both
to know and to do better.
The Dam m brothers are at a Los
Angeles theater *.his week. The rest of
the family are coming later.
Mayor McAleer is against the sane
and sober Fourth. Vhe mayor evidently
was a small boy himself once.
. It will cost $75,000 for the ornamental
lighting- system this year. And it is
well worth every cent It costs, too.
Also it may be recalled that once a
certain king had to eat grass. Maybe
they investigated a beef trust then,
too.
Few more Bryan indorsements re
ceived. Willie Hearst's political cof
fin Is rapidly becoming -well nailed
down, vUiV-
Another Filipino has nunendererl and
battles are to cease over there — when
all thp rest are dead or have laid down
their arms.
Welcome, Oklahoma, to the sister
hood of states! Would the same could
be said ' of Arizona and New Mexico.
Their turns will come. ... :.-•>.
The boulevard street lighting system
has made this city unique and talked
about all over the vorld. It should be
extended and not curtailed.
Governor Pardee now seems to be
rather in the position of President
Roosevelt after. Chandler and Tillman
sprung the documents on him.
' The Republican party, being fifty
years old, is now preparing to retire
on its record in 1908 and rest from its
labors with Its ill-gotten gains.
San Francisco is busy now bringing
discounting insurance companies to
time. And signs look favorable that
this will be pretty generally accom
plished.
Meanwhile, in all this agitation as to
what we shall eat, do not forget that a
prime necessity of our transportation
facilities — owl car service— remains yet
unprovided.
The rush of building all along the line
keeps up despite warm weather. Los
Angeles knows it will have to hustle
to keep up with Us own growth, and
nothing 1 prevents It,
Cassle Chadwlck certainly must be
sincere In her repentance when one
gives up her wardrobe to satisfy her
creditors. That's about the last thing
a woman sacrifices.
The move to divide San Diego county
Is sensible and should be carried out.
There are several counties In Southern
California now entirely too large, and
in due time considerable subdividing
will be necessary.
The earthquake in San Francisco
happened two months ago today, and
nlready the city Is complaining because
the Schmitz-Ruef gang is fattening
on the graft created thereby. This is
not very conducive to relief work or
rebuilding.
; A great howl is going up in Ran
Francisco because Schmltz-Ituef graft
era rented unharmed houses at low
rates and are charging the city enor
mous prices for them. Certainly;
what's the use of being tarred with
the Schmitß-Ruef stick unless there's
money in it?
Willie Hearst in an alleged Interview
—doubtless he Interviewed himself—
lays, he "has a positive distaste for
office" and he "hopes some one else
will be nominated, for governor of
New York." In the latter hope he
frill undoubtedly be accommodated; In
both' statements he makes Ananias
turn over and groan. .
' OIL ON THE STREETS
There In ho (wwitlnl difference pf
method between dripping oil nnd squirt
ing wa'er on n Mrtet or road. Tho
tabor oxr-onse cf n ulnglo soaking Is
trivial In both cases. But the oil de
posit, If properly employed, will insure
ft fairly dustles* street, in a residence
district, for nearly or quite a year. Tin
water deposit will Insure a cloud of dust
at first, a coatlnn of mud directly after
ward Ani a reiuin of dry and dust!'
conditions within nn hour.
A barrel ot rrudw oil costs ft gro-U
deal mop than a barrel of water, but
in lasting effect the difference Is as n
year to an hour. The cost of oil In Los
Angeles, however, Is less than in any
other city in the world, being a local
product. Hut notwithstanding the
worthlcnaness of water nprlnl "Ing ns
compared with oil surfacing, and the
vastly greater cost per year of the
water treatment, the water cart con
tinues its Impotent squirt In Los An
geles while the oiling concern rusts for
want of use.
Citizens have grown weary In protest-
Ing against the self-evident folly of this
treatment of our residential streets. In
most of the streets the appearance of a
sprinkling cart suggests '.he saying
about the rarity of "angels' visits."
Even when the visits are reasonably
frequent, however, the result Is unsat
lsfaotory.
The proposition to buy 10,000 barrels
of oil for street purposes and to use it
at once comes as a ray of hope to the
long suffering community. The suc
cess of the oil trstem of street treat
ment is so well known to all citizens
that the delay in using it is beyond
comprehension.
Not only should the oiling of streets
be adopted generally wherever it is pos
sible, and adopted at once, but the
street railway companies should be
compelled to stand by their agreements
to do the oil surfacing on the line of
their tracks. There are Important
residence streets which are retarded in
Improvement solely because of con
ditions resulting from failure of tho
railway managers to comply with their
obligations in this respect. '"•.'H" .'
THE TAMING OF TEDDY
There are signs and portents that
our Impetuous, over-certain and out
spoken president Is bottling up the
vlala of his wrath and is becoming as
tame as a well-broken eayuse. There
are signs of this; and thereat the na
tion marvels.
Not long agone our president was
wont to brook no hint of his own Im
peccability. When he did a thing it
was right, though all the powers of
the earth stood against it. When he
said a thing it was true, . alhough a
score declare its impossibility. He
was bo cocksure that he could do no
wrong that every act he did not ap
prove was diabolical, and every one
who denied his statements was a liar.
Vide Tillman, Chandler and a few
more. ..,-..
But there has come a change over the
spirit of his dreams; the fire-eating
Teddy has been tamed. No longer doth
he shout "Liar!" whenever he is con
tradicted, or brand "Ananias" on
everyone who doubts his words. He now
cooes as softly as any suckling dove. .
On the rate bill it was that the
president tangled himself up hopeless
ly in his own devious changefulness,
and upon his exposed double-dealings
In that, he made a public exhibition
of his bad temper and lack of good
I manners. It wasn't the first time;
from the occasion when he rip-snorted
at Judge Parker because the latter
told the truth about Republican cam
paign money-grabbing-. It has been
his one method of squaring himself.
But on the rate bill he made a bigger
spectacle of himself.
Now, however, comes evidence of A.
change. On the beef-inspection bill he
goes off half-cocked, as usual, declar
ing that he will none of it because It
limits inspection to certain hours.
When- Chairman Wadsworth of the
house committee tells him he (the
president) "Is wrong, very, very
wrong," and quotes "such Inspectors
shall have access at all times," this
puissant president — does he rise up and
yell "Liar!" again? Not he! He re
plies: "I was In error!"
Verily, this is a change! And how
welcome! Would that the head of this
great nation had learned his lesson in
proper conduct ere he made himself a
mark for ridicule.
ADJUSTMENT OF BIRTH RATE
A. theory that suggests strange pos
elbilities has been advanced in Chi
cago. Its source is a typographical
union and the claim is made that its
practical correctness has been demon
strated. The essence of the theory is
disclosed in this statement: "Since last
September, when the eight-hour
schedule was first put into effect in
the Chicago printing shops, there has
been a remarkable increase in the
birth rate among the compositors' fam
ilies." Reduced to figures, there is an
alleged showing of a "15 per cent gain
in such births as compared with the
preceding ten months." ;
An interesting line of thought 1s sug
gested by this domestic revelation In
Chicago. If tho correctness of the
theory Is assumed the matter of excess
or deficiency in births may be adjusted
as readily as the raising or lowering
of a gas jet. All apprehension about
race suicide and depopulation may be
dismissed at once. The birth output Is
adaptable to requirement or con
venience, ai the case may be.
Now, if a reduction of the work day
to eight hours results in an increased
birth rate of 15 per cent, the ratio of
increase would k<> or >. logically, in
proportion to the curtailment of work
hours. And finally, on the attainment
of the perfect system of perennial holi
days,- as promised under socialism,
homes wouM awarm with children like
bees in a hive.
But what would be the effect of such
prolific increase in population? Ac
LOS ANGELES HERALD: MONDAY MORNING, JUNE 18, 1900.
cording to the Mnlthuslan doctrine,
poptilatlon hfttt been for age* Increas
ing in greater ratio than means of mib
slstoncfl:" Mniihtia contended, ulsw. that
vice nnri crime are necessary checks
to excessive Increase of population.
Therefore, niiirlit not a far greater
rinngpr than race, suicide confront
mankind If th* Chlrngn Ides were car
ried out to th« logical end?
Then how Important It evidently Is
that the length of the work day be
adjusted exactly right, no that there
may he neither paucity nor plethora
of population, tjke? the operation of
an alarm clock, according to the Chi
cago theory, the population figure can
he set for nny desired result simply
by regulating the hour" of labor.
And still It remains true that Oov
prnor Tardee promised thnt tho legis
lature should hnve an opportunity to
consider the l,os Anfreles consolidation,
and then refused to put it In his call.
No amount nf arguing about texts and
motives can eliminate thnt one fact,
which Is tho vital point after M!.
ROOSEVELT MAY ACCEPT
Some Excellent Reason* Why William
Jennings Bryan Should Be
Elected
FJUTITVALK, Cnl., June 17.-(Edltor
Horald): It being conceded that Wil
liam J. Bryan will be the Democratic
candidate for president In 1908 — death
not having removed ' him— the pol
iticians of the Republican party are
now virtually admitting that the only
hope of their party retaining ascen
dency Is bused on the possibility, nay
tho probability, of their making Roose
velt t.ielr candidate.
For whatever comfort they may draw
from it, one Is safe in assuring the
Republicans that the probability of
their helnc successful In "making
Roosevelt their candidate" Is In inverse
ratio to that of their retaining party
ascendency under his leadership.
While It Is true Mr. Roosevelt did,
of his own volition, declare to the
world on the morning succeeding his
last election that he would not again
be a cnndldate and under no circum
stances would he accept another nom
ination for the presidency, we recall
the fact that with equal emphasis he
declared In 1900, prior to and during
the national convention, he would not
accept nomination for the vice presi
dency.
And yet history records that, not
having successfully availed of the
heated factional strife at that con
vention which prevailed between
llanna and his supporters and Platt
and Quay and their followers to se
cure the first place on the ticket, Mr.
Roosevelt did most gracefully, and if
you will, graciously, change his mind;
and "for t' c good of the party" swal
lowed his pride, stultified himself and
took second place.
■Wherefore one seems fully warrant
ed in concluding that If the "good of
the narty" demanded a repetition of
this graceful and gracious action on
Mr. Roosevelt's part he would not be
Gibraltar-like in his firmness and fix
edness of determination not to yield
his pride to his party's behest and im
perative need.
Yes, but what would the voters—
not politicians — of the rank and file
think were their party reduced to the
necessity of placing Roosevelt in such
a position of self-stultification? And
if he were so quick to yield to the per
suasion of the politicians for the sake
of getting another term, how could the
people feel assured that, if elected, he
would not yield in his administration
to the blandishments of those agencies
and influences in government and in
our industrial and commercial spheres
■with which the people are contending
for justice, fair play and a' "square
deal"?
Methlnks the people who think more
of practical, effective operation of
principles In governmental administra
tion than of partyism and party as
cendency would reason about this way:
"Since the politicians of the Repub
lican party have been compelled to re
nomlnate Roosevelt because, in seem
ing, he stands nearer to Bryan's prin
ciples than any other prominent Re
publican—save Senator LaFollette and
Governor Cummins, and neither of
these latter would they nominate — it
n.ust be that these principles are
widely in favor with the masses, as
being for the best Interests of the na
tion when made operative in govern
ment. This being so, then why would
it not be better, because safer, to en
trust the carrying out of these princi
ples to their first and ablest apostle
and exponent, Bryan, as chief execu
tive, Instead of to Roosevelt, who, If
he honeEtly did endeavor so to do,
would '-c trammeled and hampered by
his party ties and obligations in his ef
forts to make operative such principles?
Witness, for example, the impotency
of President Roosevelt In his endeavor
against the objection of the Republl
i *.n senate to give the producing and
shipping public Home measure of actual
relief from the unjust exactions of tho
railroad corporations.
"No, \ye will act the part of wisdom,
and turn out of power the party that
has shown Itself wholly subservient to
the trusts and corporations; and, with
Bryan at its head, we will give the
Democratic party one more chance to
vindicate Its right to existence, by
proving that it is genuinely, earnestly
democratic in that sense defined by
Jefferson as exemplifying the princi
ple 'the greatest good to the greatest
number' and as reiterated by Lincoln
in his definition 'government of the
people, for the people and by 'the
people.' "
The culmination (if this reasoning
would be the defeat of Theodore Roose
velt, Republican candidate forced to
stand for the principles of Democracy;
and the triumph of William Jennings
Bryan ns the foremost living apostle
and exponent of those principles.
JNO. AUBREY JONES.
IZAAK WALTON, FISHERMAN
Kerene, secure, beside some stream
He kept his vigil, dreamed his dream;
No vldionary fair romance
Of famous deeds with horse and lance,
But- battles waged with foemen ehy,
By weapons such as line and fly.
Day after day the fisher spent, '
Beguiled to a supreme content,
In snaring crafty silver trout.
Or pnrch if mulberry buda wero out;
Sequestered with the falling- rain.
The song of thrush, or lark'a refrain.
With Home choice friend who loved as
well
The wonder of that liquid spell,
He watched how awlft the salmon aped
Across an amber river bed,
Or how the grayling, or th« dace.
Went gliding smooth from place to
place.
Past cowslip meadows, Jaamlna bowers,
Hedges with honeyuurkle flowers.
They wandered slow to some quaint Inn
That amellei] of lavender within.
Whare he would Blp some homely wine
And boast the prowess of his line.
— Martha Halo Bhackford, In Every
body's Magaclne for June.
Jack— l hear that Mil* Faisa i» enlaced.
l>ick-la that go? Who la the happy
man)
"Old man Paaae, of course." — Famllie
Journal.
j "Juat think, our new cook gets up at t
o'clock without being called."
"Bhe mum be a Jewel."
"Yea; aim's goir.e to he married to the
milkman next week."— Famllie Journal.
NEWS OF .GRAVE AND GAY EVENTS
IN AND ABOUT NEW YORK CITY
Special rnrrenponrlence nf The Itrrflirt.
NRVV YORK, June 1«.-The dlsclos
tire* nnent tho methods employed by
the beef trust In I'acklngtown have not
only made Now Tork sit. up nnrl Jnke
notice— they havo. caused New York to
rise trt Its foot nnd rrmnln standing.
Pork products have been tnken oft the
Mil* of fare of oven the. cbenpost res
taurants, nnrl only John Chinaman— the
Nelll-HcynolrtK document, has not hern
printed In tho Chinese papers yet— con
tinues to nllay bis hunger with tho
"country" sausage. And as for ennnod
men ts — groceries and delicatessens
which enrry thorn In stock are shoving
them Into tho farthest corner of their
shelves, f.ir In tho present frame of
mind of the Now York public it would
he like flnuntltifr a red (Ing in front nf
a bull to offer canned products from the
Chicago stock yards. The only really
happy food purveyors nro tho "physi
cal culture" nnd vegetarian restaurants.
They are doing a rushlns husliicM.
Managers of big restaurnnts about
town report a decided fulling off In
the demand for meats on the part of
their customers. Tho free lunch counter,
too, has suffered keenly. Piles of meat
sandwiches nre. permitted to remnln on
the plates while a general onslaught Is
made on tho cheese nnd pickled fish.
The frankfurter man Is threatened with
bankruptcy. The sain of "hot dog"
has fallen off amazingly, even the news
boys taking tho hint and transferring
their allegiance to some other kind of
delicacy. Former lovers of frank
furtsrs seem of the opinion thnt the
term "hot dog," by which the sausage
Is known, cannot longer be accepted us
a Joke.
Wall Street's Veteran Cop
"Bub," the chief of the Old Slip po
lice station, is off duty— he Is dead. He
was Joseph Eaton, ' the big, black
haired copper who has been In and
about Wall street for more than twen
ty years nnd In whoso presence evory
millionaire felt safe. He was found
dead In bed yesterday. To his inti
mates Eaton was known only as "Bub."
J. Plerpont Morgan never called him
anything else. For years when the her
culean policeman was covering a beat
which took him to the corner of Wall
and Broad streets, In front of the great
financier's office, he was alwnys on
hand to say "Good morning" to the
banker. Many other bankers In the
financial district knew the big police
man. Alexander E. Orr, president of
the New York Life Insurance company;
Edward M. Shepard and former Con
troller Edward M. Orout knew him well
and wero his friends. "Bub" died poor
—he was an honest cop.
To Make the Subway Cool
At last some steps are being taken to
cool the heated air of the subway. This
problem has caused more vexation and
downright cussedness in New York
than has any other during the past
couple of years. Vents for the super
heated air are being made at convenient
distances and it is thought this will
prove a satisfactory system of general
ventilation. The Introduction of pure
air by pumping or otherwise, to .drive
out the used air, is not such an easy
matter; but the solution of the problem
is confidently looked forward to. Could
the Interborough offer to its patrons not
only less undesirable atr to breathe and
less oppressive temperatures, but really
stimulating conditions in both direc
tions, the subway would at once become
the pride of New York above all other
transportation conveniences.
Ragpickers' Paradise.
Surely , Brooklyn Is the ragpickers'
paradise. Thousands of these men
swarm the streets with their jingling,
nerve-racking bells, especially during
the early morning hours. They have
grown so bold because of lack of re
straint as to pay no attention whatever
to the restrictions supposed to be placed
upon them. It is not uncommon to
hear them as early as 6 o'clock In the
morning, and many are the complaints
that have been made by citizens who
have been, and are being, awakened
from their slumbers by the rag man.
Another Fiance for Miss Barrymore?
Is Ethel Barrymore to be married to
Ernest Lawford? There were signs of
suppressed ■excitement at the Lambs'
and other actors' clubs. It was whis
pered at the Lambs, It was commented
upon at the Brook, it was boldly stated
at the Stollers', and it was spoken of
as an assured fact at the Broadway
chop houses, that the matter was set
A Crop of Summer Smiles
A Sukrmllou. . |
Jack— lt'a cool on the piazxa. Won't
you put my coat around you? > '■ \
Helen— Maybe. But hadn't yea better
put it obt
Hew It Lo*bx*«.
OVadya—Tti. count aaya JCdith I* pwr*
Jack— Ttiat mean* ■ another «014 »fclp
mont to Hurope. J "Piwa*. • %£*«M*Hta4
tied, h'lt nn one wn« willing lo npfflk
with Authority.
Mf«« ltarrymnrp was said, at her
home In I'nrk nvomip, to be out of
town nnrl n. profound Ijrnorntico n« to
hrr.whrTO.ibnuls whh nil that qiiPßllon-
Ing could elicit from tho maid in
charge. It Is known thnt *he was at
Windsor. Vt., early lost week. At tho
siime time a figure not nt nil unlike
that of Miss Unrrymoro hovered at the
end of the dnrkincd hall nnd listened to
the cross-questioning of the maid. Mr.
Lawford hurriedly left the Rmplro
theater nfter his final nppenrance In
"Peter Van" Saturday night and In
qulrlcn as lo his whereabouts at the
Herald Square hotel wore met_wlth
slngulnr nnrl baffling ißnornnre.
It wan announced last week that the
engagement, nf Mlhb Unrrymoro nnd
Cnpt. Graham of England had been
broken.
Real (Estate) Ghost
Up In the liror.x they nrn seeing
ghontd. According to respectable and
highly veracious citizens living In the
vicinity of One Hundred and Klghty
fonrth street nnd Orand boulevard bis
Nibs pnrnrles nightly, much to the dis
comfort of the timid. Policemen have
been instructed to wntoh for tho specter
and to shoot It If necessnry to lny It.
Renl estnte men, however, nre laughing.
They nny this "ghost" business Is one
of tho newest nnd most novel schemes
Invoked to obtain doslraLl* property.
During the past two years, they say,
many odd schemes hnve been employed
by keen wlttcd speculators to "knock"
property they desired to buy. Alarmed
by some of the stories circulated timid
owners havo hastened to port with their
holdings, and this "ghost" Is said to be
the latest scheme placed In operation by
some person who covets tho house in
front of which tho "specter" Is In
variably seen.
Trust Bid Too Low for Hippodrome
A positive denial Is made of tho story
to the effect thnt the theatrical syndi
cate malntnlned by Klaw & Krlanger
had secured the Hippodrome and would
manage it next season. A personal
friend of John W. Gates, after an in
terview with tho latter, made a state
ment that the big: show house had
been bid for by Klaw & Krlanger, but
that .their offer had been turned down
as "ridiculous." According to this man,
the firm of Klaw & Erlanger will have
absolutely nothing to do with the Hip
podrome.
Women Admire One Cop
In the past few months a mounted
policeman stationed in the vicinity of
Park row and Ann street has been the
observed of all observers. As silent,
as Imposing, as Immobile as a bronze
equestrian statue, he sits upon his
chestnut mare looking, as a rule,
neither to the right nor left. This pose
may or may not be a challenge to the
thousands of young women who pass
him at the noon hour; but in any event
they have so read It, and the wiles they
practice to drag him from his aloofness
are deep. Feeding the steed with buns
was long ago discarded, but the silent
one has been known to blush under
concentrated giggling. However, all
this Is beside the point. There was a
Jam in Nassau street today nt noon
and not a little excitement. Two driv
ers were swearing at each other with
all the fluency of their kind, plainly
lashing themselves to the point of fist
icuffs, while the drivers of other ve
hicles crowded close and acted in ac
cordance with their temperament. The
result was general confusion and block
ade. Another result was that tho eques
trian figure, came <to life, a sort of a
male Galatea.- A clatter of hoofs re-
Bounded through Nassau street and in
a minute he was In the Jumble of
trucks, pushing one horse here, draw
ing another horse there, adjuring driv
ers In the language of a field marshal.
And when traffic was resumed the
mounted policeman, stern, taciturn, im
mobile once more, returned to his post
And the group of admiring young
women turned one to the other. "Ain't
he just grand?" they said.
Hopes to Fool Doctors
Franklin Murphy, tho famous Irish
athlete, who has been dented admission
into this Land of the Free because cer
tain doctors said he would be a dead
man in two years, was hot under the
collar today. Vaulting over a five-foot
fence on Ellis island directly after he
was told he would have to return to
Ireland ho said with a snort of disgust:
"I'll bet there isn't one of those doc
GEORGE O. BAKER
A New Woman's Requirement.
Ella-Why did you break your engage
ment to Fred?
Stella-He objected to the use of "obey"
In his part of the marriage service.
Tit* He«»o«, . * '
Kred-What iimk.ua you think that Mlm
Charming la th« moat popular girl at
th« hotel.
Jack— Bhe'i t ha only on« the other stria
refer Ivui "dealg;nlns; creature."
tor* who hay« condemned mo to rtoath
In two years who could do that." Mur
phy In 28 years old and comes from Ho I
fast. He has musclr-a as hard ns whip
cords, In addition to rurirly cheeks. Ho
ran tnkn nn applo or potato In onr> hand
Bfwl grind It Into pulp. The doc-torn salrl
muscular degeneration had *rt In, fol
lowing his dovotlon to nlhlotlcs. "Look
down there," nnM Murphy, after his
five-foot vault. "Heo the puny doctors.
Thoy say I -.vlll bo n. dead man in two
years. Well, I'll fool them."
k . . ■ • • •
Great Building Destroyed
Thoy dr» ulrftnßn things In New York.
The Idlest. Hf-Pinlnßly Inexplicable Btunt
Is tho tearing flown of a modern, al
most now U i-story Rrnnlte building at
41-43 Wall street, to mnko room for a
n«wer, handsomer anri higher structure.
The cost of the wracking will foot up
close to $12,000.
Pickpocket Precaution
Two women hurried up the approach
to tho Manhattan end nf tho Brooklyn
bridge. Near tho follco booth ono
pulled tho other aside nnd held out her
handbag tn hor companion. Then sho
unfastened from her thront a pearl
no.cklaco nnd a diamond brooch. Both
wcro sonslgned to tho handbng, which
she promptly placed Insldo her Jacket
and under her arm. Then tho two en
tered thft dr-nrlly brlrlgo crush. "That's
common," said a policeman. "Thnt hap
pf-ns several times a day during tho
rush hour. Tho women havo heard so
much about pickpockets at tho bridge
that they be.llovf) their Jewels arc snfor
under their arm than around tholr
necks." „ ■
Going Slumming
A few nights ngo several women were
caught In a raid on an opium joint in
Chlnalnwn. It was claimed by their
friends that thoy were "slumming,"
nnd that they were not denizens of
Pell street; thnt they were not smok
ing opium. Then were they not fool
ish for placing their good names and
liberties In Jeopardy? Visitors to New
York as well as natives not infrequent
ly think it rich nnd racy to Invade the
underworld ns sightseers. Does It not
denote a low, morbid, unwholesome
frame of mind to desire to behold such
spectacles, furnishing an excuse for
Illegal Institutions to flourlfih and flat
tering the abnormal vanity of the
wicked and loathsome proprietors? In
ft word, to "go slumming" would seem
to Indicate an ''exceedingly low moral
standard and a perverted taste, no mat
ter who— man or woman — indulges
therein.
• • •
Belle of the Town
One of the most unkind cuts of all
was delivered some person in New
York today. This person, whether it
was he or she, sent to the office of a
certain newspaper the photograph of
a good-looking girl with the request
that the same be printed. The photo
was printed with the caption, "Do you
know her." Underneath was printed,
"She is Miss (the name was
given), who, according to an admirer,
who sent the picture for publication,
was last employed at Thirty-fourth
street and Broadway." She is described
aa "one of the belles of the town and
that's something!" Horrid, isn't It? '
Warning About Gamblers
The management of the White Star
line has distributed warnings to pros
pective passengers, desiring them to
be on the lookout against card-sharp
ers who are said to travel on the com
pany's steamers. The warning reads
as follows: "The attention of the
managers has been called to the fact
that certain persons believed to be
professional gamblers are in the habit
of traveling to and fro on Atlantic
steamships. In bringing this to the
knowledge of travelers the managers,
while not wishing In the slightest de
gree to Interfere with the freedom of
actions of patrons of this line, desire
to invite their assistance in discourag
ing games of chance, as being likely
to afford these individuals special op
portunities for taking unfair advantage
of others."
Dogs Wear Necklaces
Dogs are wearing necklaces now.
The fashion is best illustrated on a fox
terrier or some other small, smooth
haired canine. A pretty girl on Fifth
avenue evolved a color scheme for her
pet and herself in a manner that was
effective and artistic. Her suit was
of a light tan, with touches of tur
quoise. Her small fox terrier was snow
white, with a little tan color about his
head. A light harness went over the
shoulders of the dog, and on one side
of It was tied a white satin bow.
Around his . little white neck was a
string of turquoise blue beads, and it
is a Bafe bet that few women missed
seeing him. THE GOTHAMITE.
"Oh, yes. Sh« tried ber best to naep
him from falling In lova wltb her."
"With what reaulUT"
"Awful— he didn't"
Ill* Itraaun. <
Nutmeg— WUw! It'i hot I
' Week*— Yea. ui;d I'll wmser that a 00U<
pU of montha »«Q you w«r« complalniuf
ef the cold.
Nutmec— You art inlatfkiin. atr. I'm la
the cwtl buslnWH.
Pl-Llnes and Piclc-Ups
To Beef or Not to Beef .'.- -.■»..'.:. ■» . .'.:
(A f tor— A lonß way nfter~VV. 8.) ,'
To br..:f or not to beef-that Is the que»
(Ion. ,■ ,
Whether It h« better In the end
To put concoctions nf wn know not w*»t
Or hy opposing, end them. //.-
To rllne-to eat-to ent? l'erehanee som«
heef7
Oh, who can tell what in that sausage
I |p«?
What curs, what cats, what oddi and
onrts nnrl such?
What dopa and smokallne doth keep It
BWfcnt, |
Against the day when some partake
thereof?
Nay, nay! I'll none nf It! '
, ,i
Publicity is n cum for many thing*
—even bad hnms.
florky nails for home June 23. Any
thing significant In thnt date? iW;*;
A Vienna scientist says sausages
emit light. Also barks, eh?
Autos run hy alcohol can't smell any
worse, anyhow. ..••«,
Poppy— t fenr I shall never see my
thirtieth birthday.
Magnolia — No, you never will-
Ho who'flihts
And runs away, „
May draw a pension
Some fine day. ./
One of life's paradoxes is that bittef
revenge Is always sweet.
A Regular House Party
Mr. C. Mealhouse has been helping
Mr. R. Shellhouse build a woodhouse.
— Vlnton (Iowa) Times.
Everyone Is roasting beef Just now
—yet few are eating It. Funny, eh?
That man of 85 who walked from
Philadelphia to New York certainly
went from bad to worse.
It is now up to Tom Lawson to
blame the Cananea riots on the Amal
gamated.
They are playing baseball in Lon
don. Wonder if they give fog checks.
■ •
Orange — Are you In a hurry to wed?
Lemon — No, It's my creditors who
are in the hurry.
That Chicago woman who says act
resses overdress— has she seen the
Mason chorus?
The elevator trust is having Its ups
and downs now, ,
Smoot
From Utah to the senate he.
Went forth In greatest ecstasy ,
To take a high and mighty seat;
Sometimes to talk upon- his feet— ' '
. Smoot.
Some women got an inkling of ■-„ \
Superfluous promiscuous love;
They raked a heap of mucky life
And found he had more than one wife-*
Smut! - . ,
Three years investigators pried
Into his long career, and tried
To sr her it. It would not down, .
And so he had to be done brown—: ■/
Smote!
A small reluctant report, they
Made to the senate one fine day;
It told of what should hap to him,
In language that did not lack vim— : ■ j
Smitten! •••'■• •: ■'
' ..■ -..,-.- ■..■,.'-•■ ■-.•■.'
Now waiteth Smoot the ax to fall; ....
His fate is fixed beyond recall;
The doors will soon be swinging wldeV
A shout will echo from inside: '
"23!" :".-,■' ■■■:.■■ „'«')
— W. H.C.S
A SHOWY BATHING TRICK
The early bather, as he floated 'on the
chilly billows, had a cigar in his mouth.
Two girls watched him from the beach.
The man lay on his back, with folded
arms, and the smoke shot from hla
mouth in abundant clouds. -
All of a sudden he gave a loud cry—
"Hi, smokin' under water!" ....
And with the cigar between his lips
he disappeared. He was gone a couple
of seconds. Then he came up, and le,
the cigar was still lighted, still'burn
ing freely. It smoked almost as well as
before. .
"Ain't I a wonder?" the man called to
the girls. Afterwards he explained the
trick to them.
"As I went under," he said, "I shifted
the cigar unbeknownst to you; I put the
lighted end in my mouth. Then, as I
came up I shifted it" again. Thus the
cigar kept lit. I didn't burn myself be
cause I was careful. This is a very
showy bathing trick. I learned it from
a professional life-saver. 1 ' :< v
AN ISLAND FOR ANARCHISTS
Civilization, of course, cannot com
pound the Innumerable possible crimes
of a community devoid of government
by embarking on any such scheme, i The
prime objection to the' plan, morally,
is that the powers could not herd to
gether a group of confessedly lawless
persons and let them kill off one an
other at their leisure. We must con
tinue to deal with anarchical assassins
by the ordinary methods of law. The
fact remains that the Imaginary an
archist colony would afford a remark
ably interesting test of the theory ', of
no government. Why is it that : the
philosophical anarchists and other
theorists of the Kropptkln stripe do not
start a movement to collect the breth
ren of the red flag and make the ex
periment? Is It because they are aware
that the first practical test would find
their theories crumbling and the colony
making it menaced with self-annihila
tion? — Chicago Daily News.
NOT DANGEROUS
A minister's small son had committed
some minor domestic crime, and, f ear-7
Ing the wrath to come, had hidden
himself In the barn. A vigorous search",
was made, but his hiding place, was un
discovered, and as the day passed on'
his parents became alarmed. . It was
not until dark that the small fugitive
reappeared, an! by that time anxiety
had overcome all other feeling In.the
father's heart, so that his son's 'ap
pearance was hailed, with relief rather
than anger.
Presently, taking the small boy on
his knee, the minister said gravely;
"It Is true, my boy, that I could not
find you, but the Lord and the Evil One
both knew where you were."
"Oh, I wasn't worrying about. them,"
the unrepentant youngster responded.
"They were not looking for me with
shingles l.i their hands. "—American
Spectator. ■ , .
X _^n»»t Set of Tetth SO,
Uuun evenings till 8:80; tlundayi 9 to it