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7I / fs'^T 'mt^'" JOHN I"I JAMES _ CEORCE.] H£RBE.R"n y/; /r jSfeU<|«?§/ « joSks I smith i PLAY TITLES TRAVESTIED. No. 33.— "Henry—The Fifth." London Telegraph. Jokes That Are Hundreds of Years Old MOST of the jests that have been current in English speaking countries for centuries are known also throughout Europe. Students of folklore assure us that to a great extent these jests are of Asiatic origin, many of them having come from China and Japan. Take, for instance, the well known story of the impudent Irishman at an inn, who looked over a man's shoulder while he was writing a letter. When he read, "I have much more to say to you; but a fellow is looking over my shoulder and reading all I write," he cried out, "Faith, sir, I haven't read a word!" This story is found in the "Spring Garden" of Jami, the last of the great Persian poets of the fifteenth century. The story of the countryman who tried to pick up a paving stone to throw at a savage dog, and finding that stone, and all others, rammed tightly into the ground, declared that these were strange folk who fastened the stones and let loose their dogs, was told in the thirteenth cen tury by another Persian poet, the illustrious Sadi. One authority in folklore traces a familiar tale from the ancient Hindu collection, "Ocean Hh v flffliiifilH ■*>^ *ss^-..rth —S^ "Don't you think my new hat is a poem, dear?" 'Judging from its height, I should say it looked more like a short story."—Journal Amusant. of the Rivers of Narrative," through various versions, in many centuries and languages. The Hindu tale is, in brief, something like this: A rich man said to his treasurer, in the hearing of a musician who had entertained him, "Give this man two thousand panas." The treasurer, replying that he would do as ordered, went out. The minstrel asked for the panas; but was refused. On appealing to the rich man, the musician received this response, "What did you give me that I should make a return? You afforded a short-lived pleasure to my ears by playing on the lyre, and I gave a short-lived pleasure to your ears by promising you money." In Gladwin's "Persian Moon shee" a poor poet recites verses in praise of a wealthy man, who promises him a quantity of grain; but later says to him, 'You are a blockhead; you delighted me with words, and I LOS ANGELES HERALD SUNDAY MAGAZINE pleased you in like manner. Why, then, should I give you grain ?" Lucian tells of a philosopher that complained to his pupil be cause his fees were eleven days in arrears, and was thus an swered by the youth's uncle: "Pray let us hear no more com plaints of the injustice you sup pose you have had at our hands, since it simply amounts to this: We have bought words of you, and till now, have paid you in the same coin." In "Jacke of Dover, his Quest of Inquirie for the Foole of all "Forty pounds for that daub! Hanging's too good for it." —Le Rire. Fooles," an English jest book of the sixteenth century, there is a tale almost precisly like the Hindu narrative. A Japanese story says that Kisaburo, a man of economic spirit, took lodgings on the side of a market for eels. The ap petizing odor of fried eels en tered his dining room and sea soned his bowl of rice. The man with the eels presented his bill for the odor of the fish. Kisaburo laid out the money asked for on the bill, and began to chat with him. When the man was about to leave, Kisa buro put the money back into his pocket, replying to the other's remonstrance. "You ask me for payment for the smell of your fried fish. I do the same for the sight of my money !" This story was known in Europe in the fourteenth century. Woman became emancipated on the day that fainting went out of fashion.— Vixen. .*-r3>-*'(*->«-_ .- 3.—CAUGHT. M. OLD FRIENDS IN X NEW DISGUISE OLD FRIENDS IN NEW DISGUISE Logical Reason Jinks —Have you selected a trade or profession for your boy? Winks—l shall make a plum ber of him. Jinks —Has he a bent that way? Winks — He's born for it. Tell him to do a thing imme diately, and he won't think of it again for a week.— Tit-Bits. S A La Mode The Lawyer's Wife—What does the paper say about this season's suits? The Lawyer (absently) — Large checks will be the cor rect thing in law suits this sea son.—Life. Of Course Not The captain of a certain yacht had evinced an anxiety touching a mishap to the craft that at once attracted the atten tion of a fair lady on board. "What's the trouble, cap tain asked she. "The fact is, ma'am," was the response, "our rudder's broken." "Oh, I shouldn't worry about that," said the lady. "Being under water nearly all the time, no one will notice that it's gone."— Modern Society. / jtj^ i&\. . L . \ I— I.—THE TRAP. 2.—TAKING THE BAIT. FEBRUARY 14, 1909 .•s—«— '^''^'■Mffi£o/ ZERO TIME. MISTRESS—What did you tell those ladies who just called? SERVANT—Oi tcld 'em you was out, mum. MISTRESS—And what did they cay' SERVANT — "How lortunit," mum.—Pick-Me-Up. Way of the World "I understand the Newweds are having trouble," remarked the spinster boarder. "Some people take her part and others side with him." "And I suppose," growled the scanty haired bachelor at the other end of the mahogany, "there are a few eccentric peo ple who mind their own busi ness !"— Puck. «^X.J, * k-l-l»-.,. _>— 1«»» 4.—DRIVING 'E>l HOME. Turning the Tables "Here," said Johnson, enter ing the dealer's shop in a rage, "I thought you guaranteed that parrot I bought two days ago to be quite free of objectionable habits. Why, it has done noth ing but swear since I got it." "Ah! sir, it's wonderful how soon them birds get corrupted in new quarters. I should ha' been more careful who I sold him to. I didn't think you was that sort o' a gent," and John son found himself outside, feel ing like a culprit, before he quite understood what hap pened.—A nswers. ■fy ..-' PERCY—Do you think your father would object to me marry ing you? PEARI^-I couldn't cay. If he's anything !ike me, he would. — Illustrated Bits. Cornered Five young men went into a shop recently to buy a hat each. Seeing they were in a joking mood the shopman said: "Are you married ?" They each said "Yes." "Then I'll give a hat to the one who can truthfully say he has not kissed any other wom an but his own wife since he was married." "Hand over that hat," said one of the party; "I've won it." "When were you married?" "Yesterday," was the reply, and the hat was handed over. One of the others was laugh ing heartily while telling his wife the joke, but suddenly pulled up when she said: "I say, John, how was it you didn't bring one?"— BystamL r. Aristocratic Fowls "Do animals have their social customs and institutions?" "I presume so. I have no doubt that the geese have their Descendants of the Cacklers Who Saved Rome."— Puck. —Bystander.