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Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, February 14, 1909, Image 58

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85042462/1909-02-14/ed-1/seq-58/

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7I / fs'^T 'mt^'" JOHN I"I JAMES _ CEORCE.] H£RBE.R"n
y/; /r jSfeU<|«?§/ « joSks I smith i
PLAY TITLES TRAVESTIED. No. 33.— "Henry—The Fifth."
London Telegraph.
Jokes That Are Hundreds of Years Old
MOST of the jests that have
been current in English
speaking countries for
centuries are known also
throughout Europe. Students of
folklore assure us that to a
great extent these jests are of
Asiatic origin, many of them
having come from China and
Take, for instance, the well
known story of the impudent
Irishman at an inn, who looked
over a man's shoulder while he
was writing a letter. When he
read, "I have much more to say
to you; but a fellow is looking
over my shoulder and reading
all I write," he cried out, "Faith,
sir, I haven't read a word!"
This story is found in the
"Spring Garden" of Jami, the
last of the great Persian poets
of the fifteenth century.
The story of the countryman
who tried to pick up a paving
stone to throw at a savage dog,
and finding that stone, and all
others, rammed tightly into the
ground, declared that these were
strange folk who fastened the
stones and let loose their dogs,
was told in the thirteenth cen
tury by another Persian poet,
the illustrious Sadi.
One authority in folklore
traces a familiar tale from the
ancient Hindu collection, "Ocean
Hh v flffliiifilH
■*>^ *ss^-..rth —S^
"Don't you think my new hat is
a poem, dear?"
'Judging from its height, I
should say it looked more like a
short story."—Journal Amusant.
of the Rivers of Narrative,"
through various versions, in
many centuries and languages.
The Hindu tale is, in brief,
something like this: A rich
man said to his treasurer, in
the hearing of a musician who
had entertained him, "Give this
man two thousand panas." The
treasurer, replying that he would
do as ordered, went out. The
minstrel asked for the panas;
but was refused. On appealing
to the rich man, the musician
received this response, "What
did you give me that I should
make a return? You afforded
a short-lived pleasure to my
ears by playing on the lyre, and
I gave a short-lived pleasure to
your ears by promising you
In Gladwin's "Persian Moon
shee" a poor poet recites verses
in praise of a wealthy man, who
promises him a quantity of
grain; but later says to him,
'You are a blockhead; you
delighted me with words, and I
pleased you in like manner.
Why, then, should I give you
grain ?"
Lucian tells of a philosopher
that complained to his pupil be
cause his fees were eleven days
in arrears, and was thus an
swered by the youth's uncle:
"Pray let us hear no more com
plaints of the injustice you sup
pose you have had at our hands,
since it simply amounts to this:
We have bought words of you,
and till now, have paid you in
the same coin."
In "Jacke of Dover, his Quest
of Inquirie for the Foole of all
"Forty pounds for that daub!
Hanging's too good for it." —Le
Fooles," an English jest book
of the sixteenth century, there
is a tale almost precisly like the
Hindu narrative.
A Japanese story says that
Kisaburo, a man of economic
spirit, took lodgings on the side
of a market for eels. The ap
petizing odor of fried eels en
tered his dining room and sea
soned his bowl of rice. The
man with the eels presented his
bill for the odor of the fish.
Kisaburo laid out the money
asked for on the bill, and began
to chat with him. When the
man was about to leave, Kisa
buro put the money back into
his pocket, replying to the
other's remonstrance. "You ask
me for payment for the smell
of your fried fish. I do the
same for the sight of my
money !" This story was known
in Europe in the fourteenth
Woman became emancipated
on the day that fainting went
out of fashion.— Vixen.
.*-r3>-*'(*->«-_ .-
Logical Reason
Jinks —Have you selected a
trade or profession for your
Winks—l shall make a plum
ber of him.
Jinks —Has he a bent that
Winks — He's born for it.
Tell him to do a thing imme
diately, and he won't think of
it again for a week.— Tit-Bits.
A La Mode
The Lawyer's Wife—What
does the paper say about this
season's suits?
The Lawyer (absently) —
Large checks will be the cor
rect thing in law suits this sea
Of Course Not
The captain of a certain
yacht had evinced an anxiety
touching a mishap to the craft
that at once attracted the atten
tion of a fair lady on board.
"What's the trouble, cap
tain asked she.
"The fact is, ma'am," was
the response, "our rudder's
"Oh, I shouldn't worry about
that," said the lady. "Being
under water nearly all the time,
no one will notice that it's
gone."— Modern Society.
jtj^ i&\. . L . \ I—
FEBRUARY 14, 1909
.•s—«— '^''^'■Mffi£o/
MISTRESS—What did you tell
those ladies who just called?
SERVANT—Oi tcld 'em you was
out, mum.
MISTRESS—And what did they
SERVANT — "How lortunit,"
Way of the World
"I understand the Newweds
are having trouble," remarked
the spinster boarder. "Some
people take her part and others
side with him."
"And I suppose," growled
the scanty haired bachelor at
the other end of the mahogany,
"there are a few eccentric peo
ple who mind their own busi
ness !"— Puck.
«^X.J, * k-l-l»-.,. _>— 1«»»
Turning the Tables
"Here," said Johnson, enter
ing the dealer's shop in a rage,
"I thought you guaranteed that
parrot I bought two days ago to
be quite free of objectionable
habits. Why, it has done noth
ing but swear since I got it."
"Ah! sir, it's wonderful how
soon them birds get corrupted
in new quarters. I should ha'
been more careful who I sold
him to. I didn't think you was
that sort o' a gent," and John
son found himself outside, feel
ing like a culprit, before he
quite understood what hap
pened.—A nswers.
■fy ..-'
PERCY—Do you think your
father would object to me marry
ing you?
PEARI^-I couldn't cay. If he's
anything !ike me, he would. —
Illustrated Bits.
Five young men went into a
shop recently to buy a hat each.
Seeing they were in a joking
mood the shopman said:
"Are you married ?"
They each said "Yes."
"Then I'll give a hat to the
one who can truthfully say he
has not kissed any other wom
an but his own wife since he
was married."
"Hand over that hat," said
one of the party; "I've won it."
"When were you married?"
"Yesterday," was the reply,
and the hat was handed over.
One of the others was laugh
ing heartily while telling his
wife the joke, but suddenly
pulled up when she said:
"I say, John, how was it you
didn't bring one?"— BystamL r.
Aristocratic Fowls
"Do animals have their social
customs and institutions?"
"I presume so. I have no
doubt that the geese have their
Descendants of the Cacklers
Who Saved Rome."— Puck.

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