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J- 4 1 1 & (*. 2 $t)i jfemarck (Nlmne. BY M. H. JEWELL. FABGO ABGUS: There is no expectation that the bill which has just passed the senate by a party vote, for the admission of South Dakota as a state, "will get through the house. In fact, it is doubt ful that it would have got through the senate had there not been entire confi dence that it would be killed at the other end of the capitol. The eighty or more democratic majority is a sure bar rier to its progress. There may be half a dozen or so of intelligent democrats who have been to Dakota and are shocked at the absurd fictions of the Missouri senator. They will possibly give it their votes, but party interests will dominate with the bulk of them,and if the bill ever reaches a vote, it will be effectually strangled. When the bill was introduced last winter the Argus pointed out some objectionable features in it. One was the provision that North Dako ta, which is to remain a territory, shall iftlra the name of Lincoln. There is no name in American history that stands higher than that of the martyr president in the estimation of Dakotans, but .the North is not proud. It has a name already with which it is perfectly satisfied. It is the trademark of its famous and chief pro duct, and has a commercial value which it would be wanton and needless to take away. There is special fitness that South Dakota should take the name of Lincoln as it was born under his administration, and he appointed its first governor. Tne North then and for long years was but a hunting ground for the untamed red man. No white but the soldier or the adventurous explorer trod its boundless wilds until long after the translation of the first republican president to the celestial type of the present Dakota. The land of No. 1 hard is the true Da kota and will cling to the name. It is true that arose by any other name would not lose its sweetness, but Lincoln wheat will not meet the demands of the situa tion. The committee that reported the bill expressed the opinion that the oppo sition in the north to giving up the name of Dakota was losing ground, a notable lack ot reliable information on the part of the senators. There are other details of the proposed measure that would call for criticisms if there was any possi bility of its enactment. THE Grand Forks Plaindealer says: The Dakota Legislature will meet on the 12th of January, at Bismarck. There is no doubt but what this will be the most important session of the legislature ever hejd in the territory. Every district have sent the their ablest men to*" represent them both in the council and house and what special legislation is earned through must be worked very fine. The Eleventh district is fortunate in having good men to secure what is wanted and if anybody gets anything, our own district may ex pect to come in for a fair share. The con test in the council may hurt in influence of our members at the beginning of the session, but it will no doubt be settled in a short time, for as far as heard from, no case has been made out, and it will not take a legislature of rustlers very long to deside a contest of this kind. Con siderable discussion will be devoted to the legislation on farming and wheat shipping and grading. The result will be that farmers will have an opportunity to secure cars if they are not satisfied with the grades and in all probability the carrying of freight will be reduced. At least a measure of that kind will be pro posed and there will be something done in the premises. There will be nothing radical or extreme passed for other west ern states have found these extreme measures hurtful to the community as well as being sometimes found unconsti tutional. It will be strange if there is not some good to come out of the mass of bills and suggestions brought before the next session. WM. H. BECKEB, of Ellendale, is being pushed forward by his friends for gov ernor of Dakota under democratic rule. Becker is probably the most able demo crat, not only in Dakota, but the entire northwest. Members of the last legisla ture will remember him. He is one of the leading railroad builders in the west, having built last year a line from Minne sota to the Missouri (on paper). He used to be in the banking business at Ellendale, but his railroad enterprises exhausted so much of his time that the stockholders and directors of the bank unanimously agreed to close up the in stitution that the railroad interests of the northwest might not suffer. Mr. Becker is young, ambitious, good looking and a great favorite among the ladies. He is now figuring on a line of road from Ellendale to Sitka, in Alaska. Four hundred and fifty thousand Dakotans are longing to have Becker appointed governor. AN organization called the Liberal League has been perfected at Went worth, in South Dakota. W. S. Horton is president Irvin Zimmerman, vice president Robert Olauder, secretary, and Charles Koehne, treasurer. The platform demands that churches here after be forced to pay taxes demands that the custom of employing chaplains jn congress or state legislatures be done ®®?SS3wi® •1 fV-kf-* •ffif" ^ti-l-"*"^^'^ away with declares that all public ap propriations for educational and charita ble ^institutions shall cease the bible shall be abolished from the public schools the custom of the president or slate governors appointing days of wor ship and fast shall cease the judicial oath and the laws enforcing the observ ance of Sabbath shall be abolished, and in no manner shall legislation be hail in favor of any Christian association whatsoever. It is understood that an effort will be made to get some kind of a bill through the legislature this winter. MB. F. A. LEAVENWORTH writes from Boscoe Conkling's district in New York as follows: "Dakota has, by its large republican majority in the recent elec tion, attracted no little attention from the country. It seems to these eastern jour nals remarkable and even suspicious that the territory should have cast such a majority in so small a poll. I cut the following article from the Rochester Union, a rank democratic organ. It will show the state of feeling in some quarters of the east as represented by a certain element which is hostile to the admission of the territory: The territory of Dakota, which had only a delegate tocoDgress to vo for, seems to have borne the republican banner highest in the late election, considering its population. The fig ures are not yet entirely official, but it Is calcu lated that the republican candidate has a ma jority of about 55,000 in a total vote of less than 85,oop. In other words, he has about 70,000 votes to 15,000 for his opponent. The vote indicates a population in the territory of about 420,000, an increase of nearly 184,000 in the last two years, which is certainly a remarkable advance.—[New YorK Times. Remarkable, certainly. All returns, whether of elections or census, from Territories whose people are ambitiouB to have them admitted as states for political as well as other purposes, Will bear watching. The admission of Dakot* is a republican scheme of long standing, and her population and vote have been to that end frequently magnified on paper. As would seem from the above figures, however, the work was rather overdone by the manipulators this time, under the republican territorial government whose chief is appointed by the administration at Washington. If the expectations of the Dakotan managers had been realized, and Blaine and a republican house of representatives had been chosen, no doubt Dakota would figure in the electoral college four yearn hence in aid of the republican can didatcs. Indeed, the scheme at one time was to divide Dakota into two territories, and then make two republican "rotten borough" Btates out of it for presidential and other purposes, as such states were made of Nevada, Colorado and other territories. The greatest necessity for the increase of state8 exists ia the southwest rather than in the northwest. The former republic which has constituted the state of Texas for the past forty ytars has an immense territory, two hundred and ten times as great as one of the republican states of the eaBt and six times as great as the empire state of New York while her population is fifty timeB as great as that of any one of sev eral of the republican "rotten borough"^ states at the time of their admission. The division of Texan into *ix states, each the size of New York, and their admission into the Union shoald precede any further admission of terri tories.—Rochhester Union. This may be cited as good democratic doctrine on this subject,as it is enunciated since election. The division of Texas has been a prominent party measure for years, and has only been kept in the back ground because of the lack of power to make it effectual. All efforts to ad mit Dakota during the present adminis tration will undoubtedly have the united opposition of the democrats, unless by so doing they can tie up in the same bill the fate of one or two democratic states. The scheme for a division of the terri tory, as has long been agitated, seems more than hopeless now that there is a democratic majority in the lower house and a democratic president at the other end of the avenue. We must therefore be satisfied, I suppose, with what we can get and wait patiently for better things and the good times coming. The settle ment of the country, better railroad facil ities and the development of all her varied industries must be the real work of Dakota for the next four years. These are really the essential matters after all, and whether the administration of Da kota shall be under a governor appointed by the president, or one elected by the people, is an affair of only minor im portance. THE appointment of B.Piatt Carpenter, governor of Montana, pays another one of President Arthur's political debts and gives to the territory on the west an ex cellent official. Mr. Carpenter is a gradu ate of Union college, Schenectady, N. Y., and was an old classmate of Receiver Gilmore of the Bismarck land office in 1857. He is about 50 years old, well pre served and vigorous. He has been.coun ty judge, state senator, chairman of the republican state Committee and ran for lieutenant-governor on the Folger ticket in 1882. He is highly respected in his native state and is a man of great execu tive ability. While President Arthur has .disregarded the "resolve".in the Chicago platform and gone outside the territory to appoint an executive it will doubtless prove beneficial, as certainly the territory could never agree upon a man in it's own confines. EUGENE FIELD,in Chicago News: "The Dayton Democrat is violently opposed to the admission of Dakota as a state, and it reiterates with much gusto the flimsy argument urged by Senator Vest, of Mizzoora, last week. As a citizen of Ohio, the editor of the Dayton Democrat has a hereditary right to be heard upon all matters of importance, but we protest against his rehashing the argument of a Mizzoorian who, having failed to get himself out of the union, is doing his best now to keep other people out. A WASHINGTON special to the Minne apolis Tribune says: "The bill for the division and admission of Dakota as a state, which passed the senate by a party vote, will, of course, be buried in the house. The democrats do not want two THE RTSVfAROK WEEKLY TRIBUNE. DEC. 26. to say nothing of four, more republican senators, and one or two more republi can representatives. As Vest puts it, they want to wait a few years, until dem ocratic federal officials have done a little democratic missionary work in the terri tory." Another special says that Judge Gifford is in Washington assisting in the admission bill and the opening of the Sioux reservation. There is some hope for the latter bill, but none at all for the former. THE Dakota division bill has passed the senate. One of its worst features is that the name of Lincoln is given to the northern half, which is to remain a terri tory. The people of North Dakota will dislike to lose their trade-mark ''Da kota," no matter how much they may be in favor of division. IT seems to be the democratic idea to admit new states by pairs. Montana wants to be a state and it is not un likely that some democrat will introduce a bill providing for the admission of both Dakota and Montana. Such a bill would likely pass the house and might possibly pass the senate. THE Fargo Sun, democratic, has looked over the list of members of the coming territorial legislature, and seeing no democrats, concludes that "the result of the forthcoming legislative delibera tions will not show anything like a fair compensation for the cost of the session." This is prejudging an assembly with a vengeance. NEWS NOTES. DEVILS LAKE has invested $85,165 in buildings and improvements the past year. P. T. BAKNUM says the receipts of his show this season were $1,400,000, about $100,000 less than last year. THE Alabama legislature has a bill pending providing that persons carrying concealed weapons shall bear a badge with the words: "I am armed." DAKOTA appears to be enjoying as much excitement as though it were a state. It will come out all right, how ever, as the governor is a practical jour nalist. SIR HENRY BESSEMER now holds 114 patents on his many inventions. It is said that his steel process patents has brought him $600,000 a year for twenty one years. THE Sioux Falls Press tells the pub lic that Sioux Falls pays annually more than $50,000 for help in her kitchens. There are at least 400 girls, at wages averaging $2.50 each. A NEW HAMPSHIRE newspaper man is so poor that he is compelled in the interest of economy to write his edi torials and local items on a slate in order to save the expense of stationery. THE town of Ordway has a man who "smiles and smiles and is still a prohibi tionist." He is editor of the Tribune, and is advocating admission as a whole with a prohibition clause in the constitu tion. T.ATTT?. COUNTY LEADER: The contest for speakership of the house of repre sentatives williikely be between Mark Ward, of Kimball, and E. A. Williams, of Bismarck, with chances in favor of ihe former. FRANK HATTON and William E. Chandler, of President Arthur's cabinet, are to be promoted March 4. The pro motion will consist in the acceptance of editorial positions on two leading news papers. THERE are eighty-three Good Templar lodges in Dakota, a net gain of fifty-five during the past year. These have 3,114 members,'a net gain of 1,908 after allow ing for 542 suspensions, 62 expulsions, and losses by withdrawals, deaths, &c. BELVA LOCKWOOD, who was nowhere in the election, but is somewhere in ashington, has been several women in her day—originally Tillie Wilkins, next married to a man named Craig, then sep arated from him and married Lock wood. She was an intelligent girl, And she came of the elite With eye glare and wUh spinster cu-1 She daily walked the street. She had a fright not long ago, And does no longer roam— When smiling on her dearest beau dhe found her teeth were home. Rochester Herald. THE Yankton Press and Dakotaian in forms the attorneys of Yankton who have for years found it cheaper to bor row territorial law books than to buy tfroT" that "the territorial library is being boxed for shipment to Bismarck, the attorney-general having construed a law so it appropriates money for that purpose." CHICAGO TRIBUNE: Slater, of Oregon, voted against the admission of Dakota, though the state he now represents does not contain more than half as many peo pleas Dakota and was admitted into the Union when it had but 50,000 population, or about one-tenth of the present popu lation of Dakota. The two Delaware senators voted against the bill, though they represent a state which has about one-third the population of Dakota—a .little rottentborough one-horse concern which ought long ago to havei been ab sorbed by Maryland. ABERDEEN PIONEER Judge Smith has appointed Miss Lizzie Cochrane of Faulkton. clerk of the court for Faulk county. This is the first lady, we be lieve, that has ever been appointed to such a position in the territory. Miss Cochrane will undoubtedly make a very efficient clerk as she is well qualified to fill the position. N. Y. MORNING JOURNAL: There are still two weeks before leap-year ends. Why should not eligible maidens thke advantage of the heroic remedy which will heal their aching hearts before it is too late? Hundreds of timid young men who have for many months been patient ly awaiting a proposal would jump at the chance and exuberantly embrace both the offer and the maiden who made it. Girls, take a good look and then leap. ALL the persons whose rooms are reg istered at the Accommodation Bureau at the New Orleans Exposition havd signed contracts to charge only the annexed rates: Furnished rooms will be from 75 cents per day and $15 per month, up to and including $1.50 per day and $30 to $40 per month. Board and lodging will be double the above, or $1.50 per day and $30 per month, to $3 per day and $50 to $75 per month. A CORRESPONDENT of the Sioux Falls Press•elosses a letter as follows: All in all, Dakota, though denied the admission she asks into the union, will make an ex hibit that will far surpass that of many of the states. The interest already shown in this exhibit and the absolute ignorance manifested by people from all sections in regard to the extent and resources of Dakota give proof that her people have done a wise thing in preparing the show. Governor Pierce, who so earnestly ad vised and did so much toward making Dakota's exhibit a success while he was new to the territory,deserves great credit, as also Alexauder McKenzie, Dakota's commissioner, than whom no finer or bigger sample of the western "rustler" or "boomer" can be found on the exposition grounds. ST. PAUL DAY: Experiments in various parts of Dakota in stock raising, show a large part of the territory is ad mirably adapted to propagating and selling stock. That part of the country lying between the rivers in the southern part, has as good advantages as either Iowa or Nebraska, and is specially suited to the breeding of blooded stock, to dairying and the cultivation and sale of corn-fed cattle. West of the Missouri' the country is nearly as well suited to ranching as Wyoming or Montana, and at various points along the Missouri and in the Black Hills district there are some large and valuable herds. In certain districts, east of the Missouri, there are fine ranches. Generally, Dakota far mers are turning their attention more to stock, and in a few years when the wheat crop is found to degenerate, they will be prepared to take up a branch of hus bandry at once more pleasant and pro fitable. It is estimated that 20,000 head of fat stock have been shipped this year to the eastern markets from Dakota, and if the present rate of increase in the stcck interest is maintained, tlie terri tory will soon rank among the first of stock states as she already does among the wheat states. THE LAJSD LAWS. How to CSet Government and In Bismarck District. THE HOMESTEAD Law gives the head of a family, male or female, the right to enter a quarter section, ]60 acres, of vacant land if he or she is a native born citi zen of the United States, or if foreign bom has taken out "first pspers." A single man (or sin gle woman) over 21 years of age is given the same chance. Within six months from date of entry the party must build a house on the land taken and begin living in it. If he lives on and farms it for five years title is acquired by prov ing those facts and paying the land office fees four or eight dollars-the latter the highest figure. If at auy time before the five years run out the homesteader wants to pay for his land, he can do so. The price per acre is $1.25 and $2.50. The cheaper price rules on lands forty miles from the Northern Pacific railroad, and the hij'her, $2.50, within that distance. An ex-soldier, who served in the rebellion more than ninty days,gets the time he'served (or if discharged nu account of disability or the clo-e of the war the whole time for which he enlisted) deducted from the five years, His arms service, to the extent of four years, counts as so much residence. The original fees at the land office are $14 and 818—the former for §1,25 land and the latter for $2.50 land, THE PRE-EMPTION LAW Requires some act of improvement by the ap plicant himself, and a filing costing two dollars as the first steps. Then actual residence, culti vation of the soil and payment at $1.25, or $2 50 per acre, according to location. This payment is not required before two years and nine mon lis. Any time, however, after six month* residence and cultivation the payment can Tie made and title had. THE TIMBER CULTURE ACT, Under this law a quarter section, 160 acres, is allowed the qualified man or woman, resident or non resident who pays $14 fees and there after breaks or plows five acres the first year, cultivates it the second year and plants to forest trees, cuttingsor seeds the third year and be ginning the second jear breaks another five acres and cultivates and plants the third and fourth years When he gets his ten acres (the lawful area) planted, lie keeps the trees culti vated and in good growing condition for four years more, or eight years from date of his entry. If at that time he can show 6,750 healthy trees he will be granted tftle upon pay ing $5, land office fees. JOHN A. SEA, U. 8. Land Office, Bismarck, D. T. Register. j,*-'"ff W.Al1 .. BRITISH GREAT GUNS. WHAT ONE MAY SEE AT WOOLWICH ARSENAL, ENGLAND. A Hundred Acres of Magazines and Foundries The Gnn Factory—An Eighty-One-Ton Infant Fa mous Old Cannon. [Frank Yeigh in Detroit Free Press.] In some way or other the secretary of war overlooked me when 'in London, 1 nt it was only necessary to drop him a line at his headquarters in Pall Mall to receive a prompt reply in the shape of a formal 'docu ment notifying me that the war department had ordered the Woolwich arsenal authori ties to admit me to that establishment. The ride down the river in a penny boat—pass ing under London bridge, over the tunnel and by Billingsgate, Greenwich and Black well—took about an hour. Reaching the massive iroi gate of the arsenal, a commit tee of reception, composed of five as hand some policemen as ever snored against a lamp post, had thoughtfully been provided, one of whom led me into an office, where I was invited to sign my autograph—a simple request that I always accede to. Onco inside the hundred acres of maga eine and foundries surround the visitor in bewildering profusion. Here and there odd little trains of cars drawn by odd little en gines went winding among the shops on nar row guage tracks. To the right of the main roadway was the cap factory, the shining explosives pouring in streams from the swiftly-working machines like wheat from a fanning mill. Adjoining stood the bullet de partment where thousands of leaden pills of all shapes and sizes were being fashioned, scores of boys manipulating the molds. In succession came the laboratory for making cartridges and projectiles, the gun carriage and wagon departments, each occupying im mense long buildings. Workmen in large squads were everywhere, in fact, about 10,000 are employed in the works. The center of attraction is the gun factory, established nearly 200 years ago by a Ger man. What monarehs of me hanism were being fashioned by the hand of man!— enormous tritons, destined for a death dealing service. From the glowing cauldron of fire—a hissing shrine—the swarthy work men, with distended sinews and powerful# muscles, carried the ill-shapen wrought iron masses, simmering with a heat as condensed as that from which it came, and laid them on an iron bed. The building trem bles as the mighty trip-hammer— the largest in the world—descends and solidi fies and shapens the cooling metal. At last a solid piece of iron of the requisita length and thickness is complete and is then re moved to another foundry on powerful trucks where, resting in a semi-circular bed, large borers slowly but surely chisel out the center, while the exterior is rounded and smoothed by immense'knives. Finally it is placed among its comrades in the yard where literally thousands of others—field pieces aud mortal's, howitzers and smooth bores, eighteen-pounders and eighty-one tonners—lay strewn around—a vast arma ment giving one a startling idea of the horrors of "grim-visaged war." The eighty-one ton infant, stretching to a length of twenty-seven feet, lay peacefully at the entrance to the gun foundry, as docile and harmless in his mental grandeur as a stranded whale. But let that gaping, omin ous mouth once speak let it but utter a single hissing syllable, and death and de struction are the result. A trial of the great gun was made at Dover. Four men rammed down a gigantic charge of 450 pounds of powder. At a given signal a dense volume of smoke, preceded by a blinding flash, startled the assembled crowd. A few mo ments after and the projectile, weighing 1, 700 pounds, struck and ploughed up the water at a calculated distance of four miles. The recoil of the guu carriage was no less than seven feet. The doors and windows of the surrounding houses rattled, others shook to their foundation the large panes of glass in the light-hcuse were blown out—and the grim old monster subsided. I wandered for an hour or more .among the warlike derelicts,. huddled together by the hundreds hi out-of-the-way corners, among pyramids of cannon-balls, chain shot, rockets aud shrapnels. Some had seen serv ice—old veterans, rusty, smoke-begrimmed and crippled. In a solitary corner lay a group of Florentine guns of 1750 near by was a long, slender cannon cast in 1677, while beyond it were seen several pieces of ord nance from India and the Crimea. Famous and war-tried cannon are treated with great respect. The White Tower in London is surrounded with a curious collec tion of. old cannon, some of very heavy cal iber and highly decorated. One was cast at Malta in 1773, with exquisite reliefs on the barrel, and two brass guns taken by Gen. Wolfe at Quebec are among the number. Mounted high on the parapet of old Edin boro's castle—the king's bastion—and over looking the wonderful panorama of city and country and sea, lies Mons Megs, the famous piece of ordnance which is said to have been forged at Mons-in Belgium in 1476. James IV employed it at the siege of Dumbarton in 148ft. It burst when firing a salute in honor of the duke of York in 1682 was re moved to the Tower of London in 1754, and was restored to Scotland through the inter vention of Scott in 1829. Windsor castle possesses a few old-timers as well, the most prominent being the pro truding head of a cannon surmount ing the flights of stairs leading to the sum mit of the Round Tower and commanding a full sweep down to the doorway. The Little Chance. [New York Tribune.] How small a chance stands between suc oess and defeat is illustrated in the state ment of a gentleman who stood by Mr. Blaine at the Fifth Avenue hotel during the now famous ministers' meeting. "Just as the last speaker before Dr. Burchard made his peroration, the assembly, tired of hear ing from their own number, began to call for Mi* Blaine. He had cleared his throat, stepped down a couple of steps on the stair way and was just about to open his mouth for utterance, when some gentleman spoke up. 'Just a moment, brethren let us hear a single word from the oldest pastor ot the city, Dr. Burchard, and then from Mr. Blaine.' Courtesy could not do less than submit. While Dr. Burchard was speaking, Mr. Blaine was evidently meditating on what he himself should say, and I shoald judge did not hear distinctly the famous and infamous alliteration. It was uttered in an indistinct way so that those right alongside the speaker did not catch its im port, but only those directly in front of him." Eighty in a Line, [Chicago Herald.] After the battle of Gettysburg, one of the Union burial parties buried eighty Federal soldiers in one trench. They were all from a New York regiment, and all had seemingly been killed by one volley. They were almost in line, taking up but, little more room live men. Ail of them were shot qbove the hips, and not one of them apparently lived ten minute* after being bit, "h BATTLE OF GIANTS. They Wanted the "Fellow Who Wrota" That Article." [Western Letter.] About twenty-five years ago, when a cer tain western state was a territory, and with few inhabitants, a young lawyer from New York emigrated thither and settled in the town of L-—. He had been there nearly two years when he was induced to print a weekly newspaper, of which he was the edi tor. Squire S. was a very little man, but he used the editorial "WE" as frequently as If there were a dozen of him, and each as big as a giant." Strange to say, there were at that time men in office who were not a particle more honest than they should be a thing which probably never happened before, and never will again. Squire S. felt all the patriotism of a son of '76, and poured out grape and canister against public abuses. This soon stirred a hornet's nest about his ears but as there was no other paper iu the territory there was no reply for a time. At length be published an article more se vere against malfeasance in office than any that had preceded it. In fact, though it pointed at no indvidual in particular, it was a "scorcher." Some three or four days afterward he was sitting alone in his editorial oliice, which was about a quarter of a mile from the printing estal 1-shiueut. His pen was busy with a paragraph, when his door opened, and in stalked a man about six feet in his stockings. He asked: "Are you S., the proprietor of this paper?" Thi.ikiug he had found a new patron, the little man, with one of his bland est smiles, answered in the affirmative. The stranger deliberately drew the last number of the paper from his pocket, and pointing to the article against rogues in office, toid the aiTrigbted editor that it was in tended l'nr "him." It was in vain that S. protested that he had never heard of him before. The wrath of the visitor rose to a fever heat, aud from being so long restrained boiled over with double fury. He gave the editor his choice, either to publish a very humble recantation or take a flogging on the spot. Either al ternative was wormwood, but what could he do The enraged office-holder was twice his size, aud at one blow would qualify him for an obituary notice. He agre.id to re tract an I as the visitor insisted upon writ ing the refraction he himself sat down to the task. Squire S. made an excuse to walk to the printing office, with a promise he would be back in season to sign it as soon as it was finished. S. had hardly gone fifty yards when he encountered a man who inquired where Squire S.'s office was and if he was at home. Suspecting that he too was on the same errand as the other visitor, he pointed to the office and told him he would find the editor within, writing a most abusive arti cle against office-holders. This was enough. The eyes of the new-comer flashing fire, he rushed into the office and assaulted the stranger with the epithets, "liar, scoundrel, coward," and told him he would teach him how to write. The gentleman, supposing it was some bully sent there by the editor, sprang to his feet, anrl a fight ensued. The table was up set and smashed into firewood, the contents of a large jug of ink stood in puddles on the floor, the chairs had their legs and backs broken beyond the skill of surgery to cure them. This seamed only to inspire the com batants with still greater fury. Blow fol lowed blow with the rapidity of lightning. First one was kicking on the floor, then the other, each taking it in turn pretty equally. The ink on the floor found its way to their faces, till both of them cut the most ludi crous figure imaginable. The noise apd uproar were tremendous. The neighlors ran to the door and exclaimed with astonishment that two niggers were fighting in Squire S.'s office. None dared separat3 them. At length, completely ex hausted, they ceased fighting. The circum stances of the case became known, and the next day, hardly able to sit on horseback, their heads bound up, they started home ward, carrying with them the most striking evidences of their attempt to redeem their honor. Miss Morosini. [Brooklyn Eagle.] How absurdly the descriptions of Miss Morosini were exaggerated iu the newspa pers. In tead of the beautiful creature I ex pected to see, when she sang at Steinway hall, I found a stumpy sort of a woman with a face that might have belonged to a housemaid or a cook and with awkward and uncomfortable manners. I have come to the conclusion that Schelling is not to be so much envied after all. Miss Morosini pos sesses about as much pretensions to beauty as an average shoe factory girl, and she sings in the high and somewhat nasal soprano pre valent in boarding-house back parlors. He seems to feel rather discouraged, as it is, though his wife is in a fair way to make money. The talk about her singing in grand opera, or even opera of any sort, is the wild est sort of nonsense. If people want to go and see Miss Victoria Morosini Schelling Huls kanip simply because she has become notori ous as a banker's daughter who married a coachman, they are at liberty to do so, of course, if they are willing to pay $1.50 for the sight. It would be perhaps just as well not to rave about the beauty aud genius of a woman who is not attractive in the slightest degree, nor endowed with more than the most ordinary of musical accomplishments. An Embarrassed Inventor. [Boston Herald.] Among the regular passengers on a certain Boston railroad is a somewhat celebrated chemist, who has lately compounded a mix ture for the cure of cholera. The other evening he was in conversation with the con ductor regarding his discovery, and being very much interested in its wonderful me dicinal properties, he raised his voice so as to attract the attention of all the passengers in the car. "Why," said he, "my medicine will knock the cholera higher than a burnt boot. I wish it would come here, and I would show you how quick I would conquer it and make my fortune besides" "What's the matter with your going out there where it is and wrestling with it?" blandly suggested the genial conductor. "Why, I might catch it myself," innocently] replied the would-be cholera exterminator, and the roars of laughter that filled the oars at that moment so confused the worthy inventor as to cause his sudden retirement to the smoking car. Josh Billings. [Joe Howard in Boston Herald.] I don't know whether you like Josh Bil lings in Boston I like him. I doubt if there can be found in arf the realm of ec centricity an individuality more absolute, an oddity more original, an author who has given vent to more common sense, clothed in taking and interesting garb than this same Josh Billings. If he were ,to stand erect he is about six feet six inches tall, well proportioned, and very fine looking. Ho has a very heavy, large head, thick, black hair, which falls upon his stooping shoul ders. He carries his head well forward, and elevates his back so that the ordinary came] would grow green with envy. The 4-year-old that called it "Thaiikr •tuffln day" was not far oat of the way. 3.