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VOL. I.?NO. 15. BEAUFORT. S. MARCH 3. 1875. ?2.00 PER ANNUM. A Discontented Poet. Man's a fool ! Wben it's hot ho wants it cool; When it's oolil ho wants it hotNe'er contented with lxis lot When it's dry Ho for showers is hoard to sigh ; \\ hoo?to meet his wish?it rains, Of tho wet the fool complains. I lot or cold, dry or wot, Nothing suits that he can get; I consider, as a rulo, Man's a fool. THE OCEAN DEPTHS. I am a diver?a diver from choice? and I am proud of my profession. Where is euich courago required as is needed here ? It is nothing to be a soldier ; a diver, however?but I forbear. I will tell my story, and leave others to judge concerning it. An appalling shipwreck occurred, not long ago, upon the wildest part of the coast of Newfoundland. The tidiugs of this calamity reached the ears of thousands ; but, amid the crowd of accidents which followed in quick succession, it was soon forgotten. Not by us, however. Wo found that the vessel had sunk upon a spot where the water's depth was by no means great and tlipt a daring man might easily roach her. She was a steamer called the Marmiou, and had been seen going suddenly down, without an instant's warning, by some lislicrmon near by. She had, undoubtedly, struck a hidden rock, and had thus been, in one moment, destroyed. I spoke to my associates of the plan, and they approved it. No time was lost in making the necessary preparations, and a short time beheld us embarked hi our small schooner for the sunken ship. There were six of us, and we autihipated extraordinary success. So deep was the water that no vestige of a ship's mast remained above the surface, to point out the renting place of the Marmiou. Wo were compelled, therefore, to select the scene of operations according to the best of our ability. woiis iue sans 01 our schooner, and Rimnier and I put on our diving armor. Wo fixed on our helmets tightlv, and screwed on the hose. One by one aeli clumsy article was adjusted, weights were liung, and u wore *. gks terrible blackish, Berton," UiTon.er to me. Ob," J replied, gayly, " it's only a little m? it? ah right!" Ah!" He uttered a low exclamation, which sounded hollow from his cavernous helmet. " All ready," I cried, in a loud voice, which they, however, could not easily distinguish. Then, making a proper sign, I was swung over the side. Down we went, I first, and Rimmer close behind 1110. It did not take a long time for us to reach the bottom. We found ourselves upon what seemed a broad plain, sloping downward, toward the south, and risiug slightly toward the north. Looking forward then, a dim, black object arose, which our experienced eyes knew to be a lofty rock. As yet, we could not be certain that this was the place whore the Marmion had struck. But soon a round, blaek object became discernible, as we ghuiced at the rocky base. Rimmer struck my arm, and pointed. I signed ascent, and we moved onward more quickly. A few moments elapsed; wo had come nearer te the rock. The black object now looked like tho stern of a vessel whose hull lay there. Suddenly Hi turner struck mo again, and pointed upward. Following the direction of liis hand, I looked up, and saw tlio upper surface of the water all foamy and in motion. There was a momentary thrill through luy heart, but it passed over. Wo wore in a dangerous situation. A storm was coming on ! But should we turn back now, when we were so near the object of our search ? Already it lay before us. Wo were close beside it. No, I would not. I signalized to Rimmor to go forward, and wo still kept our course. Now the rook rose up before us, black, rugged, dismal. Its rough sides were worn by the action of the water, and some places wore covered by marine plants and namo'ess ocean vegetution. We passed onward, wo clambered over a spur, which jutted from the cliff, and there lay the steamer. The Marmion?there she lay upright, with everything still standing. She had gone right down, and had settled in such a position, among the rocks, that she stoed upright here, just as though she lay at her wharf. Wo rushed eagerly along and clambered up her Bides. There was a low moan in the water, which Bounded warniugly iu our ears, aud told iis of a Hwift-approaching danger. What was to bo done must be done speedily. Wo hurried forward. Rimmor rushed to the cabin. I went forward to descend into the hold. I descended the ladder. \ walked into the engineer's room. All was empty hero, all was water. The waves of the ocean had entered, and wero 3portiug with the works of man. I went into the freightroom. Suddenly I was startled by ail appalling noiso upon the deck. The heavy footsteps of some ono, running, a.' though in mortal fear, or most dreadful haste, sounded in my eaifo. Then mj heart throbbed wildly; for it was a fear ful thing to hear, far down in the silenl depths of tho ocean. Pshaw ! it's only Rimmor. I hurriedly ascended tho dock by the first outlet that appeared. When 1 speak of hurry, I sp. ak of tho quickesi movement possible, when encumbered with so much armor. But this move mpnt of miuo was quick; I rusliod up- < ward; I sprang out upon the deck. It was ltimmer 1 He stepped forward and clutched my arm. Ho pressed it with a convulsive \ grasp, and pointed to the cabin. i I attempted to go there. < He stamped his foot, and tried to i hold me back. He pointed to the boat, 1 and implored mo, with frantic gestures, to go up. It is appalling to witness the horrorstruck soul trying to express itself by signs. It is awful to see those sigus when no face is plainly visible, and no voice is heard. I could not see his face plainly, but his eyes, through his heavy mask, glowed like c<^ls of tire. "I will go!" I exclaimed. I sprang from him. He clasped his hands to- i gether, but dared not follow. Good heaven ! I thought, what fearful thing is here? What scene can beso dreadful as to paralyze the soul of a practiced diver. I will see for myself. I walked forward. I came to the cabin door. I entered the forward saloon, but saw nothing. A feeling of contempt came to me. Rimmer shall not come with me again, I thought. Yet I was awe-9truek. l)own in the depths of tlio sea there is only silence?oh, how sol- 1 emu ! I paced the long saloon, which had echoed with the shrieks of the drowuing passengers. Ah ! there sure thoughts which sometimes fill the soul, which are only felt by tlioso to whom sceues of sublimity are familiar. Thus thiuking, I walked to the after-cabin and entered. Had not my hand clenched the door with a grasp which mortal terror had made convulsive, 1 should have fallen to the door. I stood nailed to the spot. 1 For there before mo stood a crowd of people?men and women?caught in the lust death struggle by the overwhelming 1 waters, and fastened to the spot, each in the position in which death had found him. Each one had sprung from Lii ' chair at the shock of the sinking ship, 1 aud, with one common emotion, all had started for the door. But the waters of 1 the sea had been too swift for them. Lo! then?some wildly grasping the table, 1 others the beams, others tho sides of the cabin?there they all stood. Near the I door was a crowd of people, heaped upon one another?some on the floor, others ; rushing over them?all seeking, madly, to gain tho outlet. There was one who so light to clamber over the table, aud still was there, holding on to au iron post. So strong was each convulsive grasp, so fierce the struggle of each with death, that their hold had not yet been relaxed; but each one stood and lookod : frantically to the door. To tho door?good heaven ! To me, to me they were looking ! They were glancing at me, all those dreadful, those terrible eyes ! Eyes in which tho fire of Kf. 1--.1 l -!- 1 1 1 11 1 niu nun ucuu mspiiweu ny uie cmuing gleam of death. Eyes whieli still glared, like the eyes of the maniac, with 110 expression. They froze me with their cold and icy stare. They had no meaning; for the soul had gone. And this made 1 it still more horrible than it could have , been in life; for the appalling contortion of their faces, expressing fear, horror, despair, and whatever else the human soul may feel, contrasting with the cold and glassy eyes, made their vacancy yet more fearful. Ho upon the table seemed more fiendish than tlio others, for his i long black hair was disheveled, and floated horribly down?and his beard and mustache, all loosened by the water, gave him the grimness of a demon. Oh, what woo and torture ! what unutterable agonies uppeared in the despairing glance of those faces?faces twisted into spasmodic contortions, wliilo the souls that lighted them wero writhing and struggling for life. I heeded not tho dangerous sea which, even when we touched tho steamer, hud slightly rollod. Down in these awful ; depths the swell would not be. very strong unless it should increase with ten-fold fury above. But it had been increasing, though I had not noticed it, and the motion of the water began to be felt in the abysses. Suddenly the steamer was shaken and rocked by tho swell. At this the hideous forms were shaken and fell. The heaps of people rolled asunder. That demon on the table seemed to make u spring directly toward me. I tied, shrieking?all were after mo, I thought. I rushed out, with no purpose but to escape. I sought to , throw off my weights and rise. My weights could not be loosened?I pulled at them with frantic exertions, but could not loosen them. The iron fastenings had grown stiff. One of thorn I wrested off in my convulsive efforts, i but the other still kept mo down. The i tube, also, was lying down still in my passage-way through the machine rooms. I did not know thisuntil I had exhausted my strength, and almost my hope, in vain efforts to loosen the weight, and still the horror of that scene in the cabin i rested upon mo. Where was ltimmer? Tho thought flashed across me. He was not hero. He had returned. Two weights lay near, which seemed thrown off in terrible baste. Yes, ltimmer had gono. I I InnlfAil lin' latr 4-l*rv 1 .Ortl ? VIII AW A4.J VI1W I/WUV, and rolling among the waves. I rushed down into the macliine-room, i to go back, ho as to loosen my tube. I t had gone through passages carelessly, i aud this lay there, for it was unrolled I from above as I wont on. I went back ' in liasto to oxtpcate myself; I eonld stay hero no longer; lor if all the gold of Go ; condu was in the vessel, I would not stay in company with the dreadful dead ! Buck?fear lent wings to my feet. I i hurried down the stairs, into the lowerhold once more, and rctracod my steps ; through tlio passages below. I walked 1 back to the ploco into which I had lirst descended. It was dark; a new feeling )i horror shot through me; I looked up. I'lie aperture was closed ! Heaveu! was it closed by mortal hand ? Had llimmer, in his panic flight bliudly A thrown down the trap-door, which I now remembered to have seen open when I descended? or had some fearful being from the cabin?that demon who sprung ? toward mo ?? ,' 1 started back in terror. . But I could not wait here; I must go ; 11 I must escape from the den of horrors. I sprang up the ladder, and tried to raise 1 the door. It resisted my efforts; I put a my halmeted head against it, and tried ? to raise it; the rung of the ladder broke beneath me, but the door was not raised; * my tube came down through it and kept 0 it partly open, for it was a strong tube 11 and kept strongly expanded by close- J. wound wire. * I seized a bar of iron, and tried to pry 1 it up; I raised it slightly, but there was j V uu way u> pet n up mrtiier. i looked * nrouiul, nnd found some blocks; with J these 1 raised the heavy door, little by * little, placing a block in, to keep what I 8 had gained. But the work was slow, a and laborious, and I had worked a long 1 while before I had it raised four inches. r The sea rolled more and more. The t submerged vessel felt its power, nnd 1 rocked. Suddenly it wheeled over, and lay upon its side. ' I ran around to get on the deck above, ^ to try and lift up the door. But when I * came to the other outlet, I knew it was 1 impossible; for the tube would not per- v mit me to go so far, and then I would 11 rather have died u thousand deaths than l! have ventured again so near the cabin. t I returned to the fallen door; I sat * down in despair and waited for death. I c saw no hope of escape. This, then, was 8 to be mv end. But the stenmer gave a sudden lurch 1 again acted upon by the power of the 8 waves, She had been balanced upon a | ^ rock, in such a way that a alight action 1 of the water was sufficient to tip her 1 over. t She creaked, and groaned, nnd labored, and then turned upon her sid*. I rose; I clung to the ladder; I pressed t the trap-door open, while the steamer 8 lay with her deck perpendicular to the f ground. I sprung out, and touched the f bottom of the sea. It was in good time: i for a moment ufter, the mass went over 8 back again. 8 Then, with a hist effort, I twisted the 8 iron fastening of the weight which kept 1 me down; I jerked it. It was loosed, f it broke, it fell. In a moment I began 1 to ascend, and in a few minutes I was t Hontiner on the water?for tli? uir wbieli f l is pressed down for the diver's conBump- J tioii consitutes a buoyant mass, which i raises him up from the sea. a Tliauks to heaven ! There was the <Btrong boat, with my bold, bravo men ! t They felt me raising; they saw me, and 1 came and saved me. I Rimmer had tl"d from the horrid t Bcene when I entered the cabin, but re- t maiued in tlio boat to lend his aid. lie s never went down again, but became a c sea captain. As for me, I still go down, t but only to vessels whose crews have t been saveil. a a o (jetting Heady in Time. 11 Tlio New Zealand Herald has a vory i ? painful story, told in illustration of the great present dearth of respectable dress- a making hands in that colony. It seems that a well-to-do settler near Auckland j1 was lately attacked l?y an illness which , his medical attendant declared must ter- , minate fatally, so severe were the syinp- . toms. After lying in an apparently hope- 1 lo?s state for some days, lie suddenly 11 took a turn for the better, and, thanks to v a strong constitution, made a rapid re- " eovery Not long after ho lind returned , to business ho was much startled, on j , opening an account presented at his . office, to find llimanlf ehurfroil wifli n ! full set of widow's weeds of elaborately complete description. A domestic ex- : plu nation naturally followed, and his ! wife reminded hint that lie had always ! made it a special desire that the fact of ' their having immigrated to a colony , should not prevent her dressing as a J lady, " And the dressmakers here, you " know," she added, "have matters so en- J tirely in their own hands that they generally keep you waiting for months for anything now. 80 when 1 was told that , you could not possibly recover,'I ordered what I knew you would wish me to wear ' beforehand ; and now the things have f" only just come home." The bill was H promptly settled. Whether the husband 0 was consoled for the outlay by the ! thought that his provident wife had the 1 things ready by her is a question that is p left open to conjecture. The Potato Disease. [. Announcement has already been made 11 of the selection of Prof. Do Bury, of p Strasburg, by the lloyul Agricultural v Society of England to make a series of a investigations into the life history of the <1 potato fungus, ior the purpose of filling up a certain blank in our knowledge of the develonmont of this destructive <ib ject. This gentleman, in carrying out his investigations, lias lately discovered that tho disease is not propagated by do- v foctive tubers, and that although tho <] mycelium was distinctly apparent in tho f; stalks ot plants raised directly from dis- ?| eased tubers, yet that neither gonidia or t germs were evolved. Ho also expressed s the liopo that he lias at last discovered li tho resting-places of tho oospores, or a tho active primary germs of the fungus, t This is the special point upon which fur- ?1 ther information is needed, and many a suggest the proper moans of preventing t tho continuance of tho disease in any v given locality, by warning agriculturists c against planting their potatoes in a spot t where they must, at sorno time, inevit- I ably bo dcstroyod. f BABIES, DOGS, AND POULTRY. j I Nc Look nt tho Exhibition* fin tliey nro now ill von to iin* | ^]1( Wf live in an age of exhibition and of h'i; easoloss competition which hardly seems j .i'ts a have had any precedent in the past. j"? die Greeks raced in chariots or wrestled | ('r 11 the arena, or contended in melodious | sl> limbics; the Romans gloated over the to loath struggles of gladiators; the cliiv- j j'" Irons times had tlieir tourneys of sliiv- ! m< red lances; Spain laid hull tights, Kiig- i !ir' and her horse racos and listicull' rencoun- | iters; but, in our day, we have betaken by iiirsclves to the practical and the useful, ! kn nd become virtuosi of breeds and I tin aanufacturcs. Our medals are for the ( 'h attest oxen, the fastest horses, and the j leeeiest sheep; for machines which will toi lo the day's work of fifty pairs of hands tn n au hour; for the plumpest babies, for ; n<1 owls of the greatest ovarian fecundity, th or rare dogs and the most charming of 1?' ingiug birds, for the choicest of fruits j th nd the most brilliant of flowers, or, J l'i inally, for the best specimens of college | ve lietoric. At Detroit the show was a I <"'? riple miscellany of babies, dogs, and I hi toultry. or For our own part, says tho New York ! vi' f'rifittnc, we must admit, though we j to lardly know why, that there is some- ' he liing unpleasant about the idea of a "f >rizo baby carrying olf the laurels by el< irtue of avoirdupois. Do not the wl uothcralove the lean ones quite as well, th .nd even a little better ? A poor, wee of liing, mostly bones, and small bones at ot! he best, wailing through tho torments if dentition, so helpless that even nature un eenis to have fomotten it thrmnrl? it ronld not havo the least cliunce of a hi: ireininm, may have a plenty of compeu- w< nting affection in the home to which he 5od sent it to teach lessons of tender r:l' >ity and glad self-sacrifice. Always it is lie ipon exhibition there, and every day it tei akes premiums of rattles and rings, is Che next biggest child is its beast of be mrden; and all household cares are deerred to its own?the cooking, the l,r weeping, and the washing. The weary oj: ather, swearing in a suppressed and wi [iiiet way, will carry it about all night ,U1 n his arms. Day by day it grows leaner in .ml leaner; and should fate take it after rt>; ill, it is ever spoken of as a cherub, has l>r . pretty little headstone, flowers in a otl irokun pitcher on its short grave, and do our lines in the local newspaper. Poor hr uite ! it would have had no chance with he big babies of the show, but it was nc licer every way than the little bursting utups of adipose with faces made meanngless by their abnormal plumpness, uul with legs like the least appetizing >f German sausages. Yet we are willing o admit that a row of prize babies is .V0 lot without its charms. The parental t'i >ride which brought these specimens to C!l he fair is an earnest of care and good reatment. No animal of any value is se o much at the mercy in its infancy of C1* aprice and convenience as man. We ! l)e rain horses, hogs, sheep,uuid cattle, put- I,r ing on flesh here and taking it off there, to ,iul talkiug endlessly about this strain, 1111 lid all that; it is only our own frames ns if which we are neglectful, so that a *'x nan or woman of perfect physical de- da n': 11 x- : In v Art ill! VAr.r|lblUU, It Wi'Il U) j "" >e ft ileal moro careful in such matters, | Ka .nil to begin with the new-born. Considering in whoso image we are all W1 aailc, it is a little unpleasant to find ! X0 he babies exhibited with the ilogs and | lens?the spaniels and stag-lnmnds, the | l*1 Workings and the Bantams. One child j 111 s of more value than a thousand black- | nil-tans, though every one of them f'1 reiglieil less than ten pounds. Yet, in pite of hydrophobia, the dog is an in ?w westing animal, and by his lulelity, in- *1'1 'lligenco and fondness he makes up for oa lis fleas and his nocturnal howls, and ?j. cads us to forgive his passionate appe- a" ite for mutton. He divides our allee- *a ion with the eat or the canary bird, and ; often invested by our fond fancy with nstinctivo intelligence which would lardly stand the test of scientific scru- A. iny. No domestic animal, however, i co legenerates so rapidly through neglect, l's nil no vagabond is more of a nuisance las han a homeless dog. It is right, there- Ai ore, that he should be an object of in- ft(1 erest and a candidate for premiums. ra Of poultry, we do not-find that wo fa i.ave much to say. Thesfe feathered fre- j ah liienters of the barnyard are most in- M r.irinrr u-n mnof odmit ?? /-I f r>> ? ? ? '?"??? | tivte, or considered as the prod it cor a of ggs for the morning meal. Still, the In' ule holds of the fittest in the host of | til ts kind. An old lion is not usually ro- I ;arde I as a marvel of intelligence, ami Ei i somewhat draggled old ago awaits the j he oaster who is spared the spit. Never- | of lieloss, in the strength of his prime, ar- j th ayod like Solomon in all his glory, and ! inking salutation to tlio morn, he is a | St ;orgeous and impressive creature. So ! ire can imagine many duller shows than I show of roosters, or for that matter of logs, or even of babies. in 1?1 ui A Homesick Tray. su re A " ynllor " dog has covered himself Kb irith glory ns a traveler or pilgrim or I of luadrupedostrian. Ho was taken last pi all from Indiana to Kansas. Hut ho th lidn't like Kansas, and was homesick cli hrougli and through. Ho found moai | hi oarce ami was averse to a iliot of grass- its toppers. So he tramped it over miles al .ml miles of desolate prairies; ho swam lh ho Kansas and Missouri rivers; and one to lay, footsore, weary, and lean, ho harked h?< t the old door. He was six weeks upon to ho journey; and tho first thing he did : In ipon getting home was to eat his dinner j ?>v nlmly, the next to drive tho pigs out of i nt ho yard according to hisancient custom, eli Io had learned something, but he had cl orgotten nothing. P< Editorial Responsibility. in the Brooklyn trial his honor Judge i ilson, rendered, incidentally, what toe ins to us an eminently wise decision, j New York ITrrald says, and we aro the ppy to note that good law and strict ^ ctica seem for once to coincide. HLs jg j lgment was that however tho editor proprietor of a newspaper may be re- i msiijlo in damages for injuries done \ it c others by publications made in his i urnal, yet he cannot bo accounted 8j(, ?rally responsible for the eflect of auy or deles that appear in his paper unless , be shown that they were either written . J himself or distinctly published with 1 1,1 owledge and consent. Discussion of c<)1 e point arose upon tho prwfl'er by Mr. l0| arts of certain articles printed 111 tho tfiffii .1 ?/r while Mr. Tiltou was cdi- CO! r. One of these articles was an exiot from tho Troy Tines, given as | P1' ws, and of course it was not pretended I ' at Mr. Tilton wrote it; and it was not wil oj)osed even to show that he wrote J to e others. It was argued that as these ue ecos contemplated marriage from a ; < ry loose standpoint it would be suffi- jU] nt to show that they were published g,., a paper controlled by Mr. Tilton in n f der to show that he held tho same ews, and the learned counsel proposed ... make a precedent in this case "to j | ild an editor responsible in the sphere . public opinion and morality for arti- in* ;s that are published in his newspaper, lethcr ho is personally tho writer of ',c cm or not, if they appear as the issue >'? his paper, and not credited to any t'1' iin,. " C1...C < ....o? plained, if the articles were "original Sn itter." lai Now tl\e theory of editorial responsi- i yo lity thus imagined by Mr. Evarts ! ( mid place editors in ndillieult dilemma j . tween their obligations to public mo- 11 lity and their obligations to givo the 1 wh. For the " original matter " conin})late<l by the lawyers covers all that 1 1 given in a newspaper that lias not en previously printed. It does not a.* erely mean the editorial articles; those R1S esumed expressions of the editor's 8P linions on the topics of the day, for "a licli Ills responsibility is never denied I d for which alone of all that appears tli the paper he can be rationally deemed ar< sponsible; but it covers all that he ne hits without copying it from somo iuj her journal or printed source?all that es not go within turned commas. Our .j :-t obligation is to give the news. Are j ? responsible, morally, for what the ws may be i on Chinese Politeness. Rules of politeness are all regulated at stt dun by a Tribunal of Rites. In case foi u wish to pay a visit to a mandarin, to e proper thing to do is to send in your ha rd, on a small piece of red paper, on no licli is your name, followed by a polite in* utence, as this: " The tender and sinre f: iond of your lordship, and the ab rpotual disciple of your doctrine, thus j)a oseiits himself to pay his respects and (\ii bow before you to the earth." If the uidarin is willing to receive you, he re) ks you to jioss before him. You are ?? pected to make the humble reply, " I R|, re not;" and, after an infinity of gesres, which are all arranged, and oblitory phrases, the master of the house ' iws to a chair, and slightly dusts it th the corner of his robe, upon which hi are at lenortli sent.nl. The .IhTi.-nl ?s are much increased when ten or a ^ ?zen mandarins call upon 1111 English- Hj in at once, and, according to the cusm, tea is offered, beginning at one of o highest rank. He protends to offer J11' the next, then to the third, and so on "ll the last. All having politely refused, H|' permits himself to drink it. The sec id, in turn, has to offer the cup to the Kn hers, and thus the farce proceeds until UI1 have gone through the wearisome an ik. __ 80 Weight ami Height of Americans. ho According to a recent work of Mr. B. no Gould, actuary to the United State> M mmission, in which some very inter- at ting figures relative to soldiers in the pi it war are given, it appears that the eh nerican nation, instead of being de- wi uorated and inferior to tlio European th ee in point of physical perfection, is r the. reverse. The figures adduced ()j ow that " tlie tallest men wore from iehigan, Illinois, and Wisconsin; the j)( xt tallest, New England, New York, <>n ew Jersey; and the shortest from Scot- ^ ul, England, Germany." In weight, e men of Kentucky and Tennessee re the heaviest, averaging 150 pounds; lgland, Scotland, France, liclgium, all ^ tween 108 and 130 pounds. The ratio ^ weight to stature gave in pounds to ^ e inch; Ohio and Western States, 2.New England, 2.121; England and :utlnnd, 2.118; Germany, 2.iG8. j" A business Transfer. Some months ago a young mechanic Newport, It. I., found himself his em- 't('( oyer's creditor for wages that had been j li>aid for some time. He was not r..i i.:.. - ti'?L- i - ?i. iin^Miu in ms riiDiis run cur- j , noy that was acknowledged to bo bis * 10, but persistent dunning on tho part J ^ bin journeyman provoked tho em- j 1 oyer into declaring in tho presence of | ird pn ties that if ho didn't settle the j pv mini in fidl before n certain day named 1 an * would give bis creditor his shop nnd i it * contents. Nothing further was said lai out the uncollected balance, but when 1 44 e day i riived the rash employer went wl his shop and failed to get in. Tho ' sti ck had been changed. The young man I1 ok his employer at his word, and tho th tt r surrendered unconditionally, and 44 ado no n instance. Hardness goes on an the old stand, but tliero has been a ; 44 tang in the proprietorship. The 44 tango was m nle so quietly that but few sa lople aro aware of its existence. to Items of Interest. Yn inside dental expense?Having a ith tilled. lakes are like lints; the drier they are > better they crack. When a man bows to circumstances ho * forced to be polite. [f you want to mako a drum stick set >n the head of a tar barrel. Which would you rather do for a ady business, go to Wheeling Virginia, go to Corning Iowa? Mrs.- Fitzgerald, of San Antonio, Texas, i set an example to her sex by taking a itraet to grade nineteen miles of railul. rhe king of Dahomey has a necklace nposed of two hundred and fifty human rs, and that ear necklace is his great iile. Hie newspaper publishers of Boston 11 contribute from $('>0,000 to $70,000 tho Post-office department under the w law. Hie president of the Kansas Agriculr.il College complains that not one nluate of that institution has become armor since 1807. A. slippery question just now is whet er s better to be a fat man and comedown avy, or to be at hin man and have notli; to break the fall. A thickness of newspapers between tho dquilts will help wonderfully to keep u warm these cold nights. "Now is i time to subscribe," A son asked his father: "Why is Mr. litli's liquor store like a counterfeit dol ?" "I can't tell, niy sou." " Beeauso u can't pass it," said the boy. Oh! for those good old days, sighs an diana editor, when this office received ougli patent-office reports to keep ery stove red-hot from November to ucli. A yonug lady in Kenoshn, Wis., made rip to Niagara Falls and back, and for : months afterwards she refused to enk to any of her old chums who du't traveled. Some people, who are willing to admit a lyre of Apollo, assure us that there 3 no modern lyres. Ah, but they have ver made the acquaintance of a Wash ?ton special correspondent. A silly fellow whose ears were unusuy large once simperingly asked a witty ly: " Will I not make a line angel f" Well, no," she replied, pointing to his rs, " I think your wings are to high." rrhnvA WiiQ n vnrv <1 i ami of fln'of fl?n ? lier day at a fashionable wedding. He >le an ostentatiously displayed check r a thousand dollars from the gifts, only find that the old man's balance in the uk was four dollars and fifty cents. He w thinks there is 110 chance for honest lustry. A young bride who had been fashionly educated was asked by her fond husud to attend to the ordering of the tiner, as ho shouldn't have time to go to e market. It is a fact that she blandly quested the butcher to send home a leg of tongue, seventeen pounds of ?ak and two halibut." The man who buys moro books than y other person in Louisville works for moderate salary in one of the newsper olliees. The books he buys are vavs good, and he gives them away fast as he buys them, oidy stipulating at the person who receives a book all read it. At Schoharie, N. Y., not long since, a mse crept into a beehive to steal ney, but was caught in tho act and ing to death by the irate bees. Soon e mouse began to disseminate a bad lell, which bees cannot tolerate; being iable to remove it, they went to work d sealed him up hermetically in wax, that not tho slightest odor escaped. Very stern parent indeed?" Como ar, sir ! What is this complaint tlio hoolmaster lias made against you J" uch injured youth?" It's just nothing all. You see, Jimmy Hughes bent a n, and I only just left iton the teacher's air for him to look at, and he came in thout his specs and sat right down 011 e pin and now I10 blames me for it!" A Cincinnati family, whose two-yenril child, a much beloved little girl, died or a year ago, managed to preserve the >dy of the child almost perfectly by an nbalming process, and have kept it in eir house ever since. Daily the ' pants have viewed the form of their little ie, almost as fresh as when in life, and e effect has been very deleterious upon e mother's Health, insomuch that the trial of the child is now rendered necesry. When the Puko of Newcastle was in is country, a citizen of Cincinnati, who id managed to get introduced to the ike, thus introduced his wife at Pike's l>era House: "Duke, let me introduce at to my wife, Mrs. Judge , the usiu of Mrs. Abrnham Lincoln and the .lighter of Major-General , of ntucky, who was brutally massacred ' the British and Indians while gloriisly lighting for his country at the ittlo of the ltiver liaison." A country schoolmaster had two ipils, to one of whom he was partial, d to tho other severe. One morning happened that theso two boys worn to, inul wore called up to account for it. You must have hoard the bell, boys; ly did you not como <" "Please, sir," id the favorite, " I was dreaming that ivas going to Hudson, and 1 thought e schoolbell was the eteanrbont boll." Very well," said the master, glad of ly pretext to excuse the favorite. And now, sir," turning to the other, what have you to say?" " Please,sir," id the puzzled boy, '' I?I was waiting see Tom off!"