Birmingham state herald., December 01, 1895, Part Two, Page 10, Image 10

About Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
Entered at the postofllce at Birmingham,
Ala., as second-class matter.
Eastern Business Office. 48 Tribune Build
ing, New York; Western Business Office, SOS
“The Rookery," Chicago. S. C. Beckwith.
Sole Agent Foreign Advertising.
Notice to Subscribers—When' subscribers
desire to have their papers changed, they
must specify where the paper Is now going
and where they wish it changed to. Watch
the label on your paper and see when your
time expires.
The State Herald will appreciate news
from any community. If at a small place
■where It has no regular correspondent,
news reports of neighborhood happenings
from any friend will be gratefully received.
All communications, of whatever charac
ter or length, should be written on only one
Bide of the sheet.
TELEPHONE CALLS.
Business Office. .130
Editorial Rooms...231
All calls after 3 o’clock p. m. should be
Bent to the Editorial Rooms.
THE PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE.
The president’s message will be pre
sented to congress tomorrow at noon
and the State Herald of Tuesday will
contain the Important document in full,
no matter how lengthy it may be. Ev
ery reading man in America will be in
terested In what the president has to
say, whether he agrees with him or not,
and there will be a lively demand for
newspapers on Tuesday. Newsdealers
will please place their orders early for
extra copies of the State Herald.
WANTS TO KNOW,
The Mobile Register wants to know
where Captain Johnston stands, what
arc his views on questions affecting the
state and the people. It wants an out
lin# of his opinions. Here is what the
Register says:
"We desire to add that the governor's
advocacy of harmony Is altogether cred
itable to him. He will find that we are
ready to make many sacrifices, but not
all. Let those who diffpr With us believe
what they please, but, at the same time,
let them drop the useless and pernicious
advocacy of inflation and the equally
profitless war upon the leader of our par
ty. On this basis we are ready to nego
tiate for harmony in the ranks of the
democracy. We should be much pleased
to see an outline of the principles and
policies upon which Captain Johnston
iwill make his appeal to the party. He is
an avowed candidate for the nomination,
and we have a right to know what are
Ihis views on questions affecting the state
and the people. It is possible that, when
they are stated, the difficulty we now
find in giving him our support may be
removed."
This would seem to be an affectation
on the part of our Mobiie friend. It
knows perfectly well that Captain John
ston is a democrat, and that all of his
views are democratic. The only differ
ence between him and the Register on
public questions is that he favors free
coinage of gold and silver on equal
terms, just as we have had it for a cen
tury, and the Register thinks that the
legs of silver would be too short to keep
up with gold. What Captain Johnston
thinks on this subject and other public
questions Is clearly set out In his letter
to the editor of the Prattville Progress.
,We beg the Register to cut that letter
out of this paper and paste it in its hat
for future reference. Here it is:
Birmingham. Ala., Sept. 2, 18!i5.
- Dear Sir: Your favor of 31st received.
I am surprised at your questions. If
thirty-five years of devotion and service
to my people and party do not give as
surances of my fidelity nothing I can
say would.
I belKve an increased circulating me
dium, based on gold and silver, essen
tial to the permanent prosperity of our
people, and I believe the only hope to
secure this is in and through the dem
ocratic party, the party pledged against
class legislation and monopolies, and
permitted from its birth to stand for the
rights of the people and the states. Be
lieving this and believing also that there
are other issues of vital importance to
be maintained, and dangers to be avoid
ed, and that true democracy means the
submission of the minority to the real
majority, I shall in future, as in the
past, stand by the party. If the plat
forms and candidates, state and national,
next year are not all that I hope for it
will not be the first time that I have
found it necessary to surrender some
thing ifor the success of my party, but
I shall continue the fight inside the ranks •
for the maintenance of those principles
and policies that I believe essential to
the prosperity of our people. Very re
spectfully, JOS. F. JOHNSTON.
DEMOCRATIC HARMONY
That the democrats of Alabama desire
and intend to have harmony in the par
ty there can be no doubt. The press of
the state, voicing the sentiments of the
masses, demand it in no uncertain lan
— guage.
Why? Because democrats have waked
Up to the fact that want of harmony en
dangers democratic success, and dem
ocratic defeat means In this state an
end to that good government which pro
tects virtue, life, liberty, property.
But how is harmony to be secured? Is
It necessary that the gold men or the
silver men should give up their convic
tions on the currency question? No.
Nor is it to be required that they should
stop advocating their views wisely and
tolerantly to the end that those views
may find expression in the laws of the
national government, which alone has
Jurisdiction in the premises. There need
be no abridgment of freedom of thought
and freedom of speech in enlightened
Alabama.
All that !s essential is that the good
democrats of Alabama continue, as they
are now doing, in exercising their good
common sense in demanding peace in
the party and frowning down all at
tempts to bring about useless strife,
bearing in mind that the very spirit of
democracy is that the majority must rule
and the minority acquiesce.
---- • ♦-——1
A Brooklyn man has invented a leath
er tire for bicycles, which, it is predicted,
will make a wonderful change over the
* rubber pneumatic. The tire, It Is claimed,
cannot be punctured, and is not apt to
slip in rainy weather. It is also claimed
that it has more elasticity than the pres
ent tire.
They say that Gen. Felix Agnus, edi
tor of the Baltimore American, has de
cided to play (dark) horse In the sena
torial race.
. AN INDEX.
The tide of Immigration Is an Index
of the condition of business and labor
In this country. We are informed by the
commissioner of immigration that the
immigrants during the past year num
ber only 258,536, the smallest number that
have arrived in the United States in any
one year since 1879. In 1892 the immigra
tion amounted to 630,000. It has seldom
fallen below 500,000 In any year since
the close of our civil war. We have seen!
year after year heretofore coming to
our shores enough people to form a pop
ulous state each year. Other countries
have been compelled to go out into the
fields of Africa and Asia to find new con
sumers of their wares. They have es
tablished colonies here and there, with
great cost and labor, as customers and
patrons of the home market; but here
in the United States we have been bring
ing a half million consumers and labor
ers each year to add to Our wealth and
patronize our manufactories. These peo
ple would not come to the United States
if we did not offer superior advantages.
The cost of living and the opportunity to
accumulate comforts must be,better here
than elsewhere. Nowhere in the world
do we find such a rapid increase of
wealth and population. Nowhere do we
find such liberty regulated by law. No
where is there such a high standard of
business obligation, or devotion to civil,
moral and religious duties. Sometimes
men decry our institutions and our hab
its. No doubt as a nation we have our
failings. We are inclined to blast and
bluster, but when serious matters are to
be considered no people are cooler in
their conduct or more considerate in
their judgment. We have our political
differences, but the country moves along
prosperously in spite of the forever im
pending crises. We are so great and so
strong, and so self-reliant that we rise
to the surface no matter how severe the
storm and the deluge.
But to return to the matter of immi
gration. The New Orleans Picayune
says:
"The steamship companies endeavored
to -stimulate immigration by reducing
their rates, but this had no effect what
ever; in fact, when there is little promise
for work in this country and wages are
low, no inducement held out can have
the slightest effect in reviving the travel
in this direction.
"The report of the commissioner shows
that immigration is one of the best
means of judging of the business activ
ity or depression of the country, In 1837,
when prosperity was still general, 79,000
immigrants arrived here; in 1838, when
the times hardened, only 39,000 were
landed. In 1845, the times being then
favorable to the employment of labor,
the number of immigrants was 428,000;
In the following year, the conditions hav
ing changed for the worse, the number
was only 201,000. The panic of 1873 had
a like effect in checking immigration.
"In 1892, when business in all lines was
positively active, the immigration
reached very great proportions, but it
has steadily declined with the crisis and
depression.
"While the causes which have brought
about this decrease in the number of
immigrants arriving here will be heard
with regret, the fact of the decrease will
be received with more favor; not that
there is any opposition to immigration
among those who have given the sub
ject serious study, but because the influx
has been too rapid. It is difficult for us
to Americanize and cement into good
citizens the large number of foreigners
settling in this country. A letup in the
immigration will, therefore, do no harm."
. . . ^ ---
PROMOTED.
Appreciating his efficient and faithful
service, the board of directors of the
Age-Herald Publishing company, at a
meeting yesterday advanced Mr. Theo
Vaughan, who has been connected with
the business office of the plant for a term
of some eight years, to the position of
assistant business manager. Into his
new role Mr. Vaughan has been installed.
The only two papers in Alabama fight
ing the proposition to have a harmonious
party are the Advertiser and the Mobile
Register. The fellow who mentions the
fact that the senior editors of these two
papers are posmasters should be court
martialed.
The recent state census shows that
Rhode Island leads all the other states
In the density of population, having 354
inhabitants to the square mile. Massa
chusetts comes second, with 318 to the
square mile.
Democrats all over the state recognize
the absolute necessity for party har
mony, and the Advertiser is getting but
little encouragement in its fight for party
strife and discord.
Governor Oates Is now getting at the
hands of the Advertiser and the Mobile
Register that class of treatment all dem
ocrats usually get who decline to do their
bidding._
The effort to defeat Mr. Crisp for the
empty honor of the nomination for
speaker because of his free coinage
speech, really did die a borning.
Congress meets tomorrow', and It will
not take long to reach a conclusion as
to whether it will do anything to help
the country or not.
Thomas Brackett Heed is the nominee
and will attempt to control congress and
nurse his presidential boom at one and
the same time.
Senator Frye is of the opinion that all
the cash for the nation's needs should
be raised In the shape of import duties.
Wipe off your spectacles. Mr. Cleve
land is going to measure his message
by Mr Carlisle's now famous yard stick,
Alfred Belt has $00,000,000, Barney Bar
ns to $50,000,000 and Cecil Rhodes $25,000,
000. They all made it In South Africa?"
No paper which holds its personal de
sires above party harmony can long
exercise any influence in Alabama.
Who is it that is opposed to party
harmony In the democratic party in Ala
bama? Only postmaster editors.
There has never before been such a
unanimity on the part of the democratic
press of the state for harmony.
If newspapers voice public opinion.
Captain Johnston has already run away
with the gubernatorial plum.
For the first time in fifteen years the
state press is almost a unit against the
Advertiser.
The Washington Post says Mr. Reed
is the managing editor of a pie counter.
It is really amusing just now to witness
the kicking of the Advertiser.
Like Prise Fighting.
Pittsburg Chronicle.
It requires a great deal of lung capaci
ty, as well as much epistolary ability, to
be a yachtsman these days.
ALABAMA EDITORS.
The Advertiser Prefers Kolb to Johnston.
Some people say that the Montgomery
Advertiser would prefer Kolb to John
ston for governor.—Surapter Sun.
God Save the Country.
Says the Alexander City Outlook:
"If newspaper subscriptions are Infalli
ble tests of men's honesty, God save the
country!”
No Democrat Can Rejoice.
Says the Baldwin Detnocrat:
"No true democrat can rejoice to see
the old democratic flag go down In de
feat, no matter by whom it is carried.”
- \
’Possum Usurping the Turkey.
Says the Headland Sun:
“Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day,
and many a greasy ’possum was sand
wiched between the sweet old yaller
yam.”
Hunting Up a Candidate.
Says the Canebrake Herald:
“The Advertiser is presumably hunt
ing up a candidate for the governorship,
but at this writing he hasn’t been
named.”
“This Do Settle It.”
The Baldwin Times says:
“The-Daphne-tail-end-of -the -Moblle
Kegister's-kite is also opposed to Captain
Johnston on account of his currency
views. Surely ‘this do settle it.'
Who Should Participate in the Primaries.
Says the Union Springs Herald:
"Senator Morgan Is of' the opinion that
the qualification for participants in the
next democratic primaries should be left
for each precinct to decide upon.”
The Treasury Needs Guarding.
The Headland Sun makes a suggestion:
“The press dispatches state that watch
men are on duty day and night at the
White House guarding the body of Mr.
Cleveland. It appears to us that Uncle
Sam's treasury needs guarding wStse
than Grover at present.”
Lowering Sis Gun.
The Ashville Eagls takes issue with
Governor Oates and seems to be getting
ready to lower its gun on the governor:
"Governor Oates' interpretation nf the
present administration is not that of the
democratic press of the state or of any
other state."
Will Soon Know Whore He Is At.
The Alexander City Outlook, published
in Congressman Cobb's district, re
marks:
“Congress convenes next Monday to
accomplish nil, we ore afraid. Now, we
presume that Judge Cobb will know
where he Is 'at.' ”
Taking Soothing Syrup.
Says the North Alabamian:
“The dear old Montgomery Advertiser
must have been taking Mrs. Winslow's
soothing syrup since Governor Oates de
clined to stand for re-election. We have !
never seen a newspaper tone down as the i
Advertiser has done in the last two
weeks.”
Will Coma Back Into the Party.
Now that the pops and repuhs have!
fused, what will the Jeffs do?—Sumpter'
Sun.
The Jeffs are democrats, and if given ;j
a chance iri the primaries will come back ,
home with a whoop. Cast them adrift
by denying them this privilege and they,
too, will join the republicans.
Distressingly Weak Argument.
The Canebrake Herald says:
"The line of argument set forth by'
some of the papers, trying to lay the
blame for a factional fight in the party,
if any occurs, on the silver men is dis
tressingly weak. The same line of ar
gument would prove that a man is an
all round tough and bully who will Ob
ject if you pull his nose and rub dirt in
his eyes.”
Will Not Perpetuate Clevelandism.
Says the Alexander City Outlook:
"The New York Herald comes out in
favor of a third term for President Cleve
land. Just how lonely the Herald is at
present is not known, but it will meet
with a verdict next year that will com
pletely insulate it on this question. The
American people will not perpetuate
Clevelandism of any other ism of the
presidential type.”
LetfUa All Unite.
Says the Standard Gauge:
“Goldbug papers assert that the money
question is a national issue and should
not find a place in state politics. If
that be true then let us all unite on Cap
tain Joseph F. Johnston for our next gov
ernor. He has at present a strong pull
for the nomination. His past record
leaves no room to doubt that he would
make Alabama a model governor.”
Want Harmony Over the Left.
The Montgomery Journal makes the
following center drive:
“Some of the cuckoo newspapers still
want 'harmony,’ but they seem to want
It by Johnston going square over to them.
They better be quite sure of those lead
ers they think they already have before
reaching aul for others. The indica
tions are that everybody, except a few
misguided persons, will be with Johnston
and for bimetallism before the next state
convention.”
Democratic Sentiments.
A candidate placed upon a platform
that doesn't have a bold, outspoken, hon
est, manly democratic ring about in on
the financial question will as surely be
beaten as he is nominated, and he ought
to be beaten. A party not bold and hon
est enough to declare its honest 'Convic
tions on a question of such vital concern
'to the people is not fit to manage the af
fairs of the people. If it mistrusts itselfi
how can it expect the people to trust it?
—Montgomery Journal.
"Good. We indorse every word of thist.
—Mobile Register.
0
Noggin Full of Brains.
Says the Selma 'Times: >C
“Not contemt with trying to bring out
Governor Oates for a second term tir
beat Joe Johnston, the papers that failefr
in that effort are now trying to force out,
Dick Clarke of Mobile or Judge Simpsoiv
of north Alabama. But Dick is not goin^
to be caught that way. He’s too smart.
He is in somebody’s way for the senate,
Richard's noggin is chuck full of brains
and he won’t be caught with such a sub
terfuge. He bad just about as soon be
defeated for senator as for governor, and
a fellow certainly ought to have a choicd
for whatever office he desires. He stands
a chance for the senate, but in a race
for governor he would not be in It.”
The Governor Hits the Ring a Blow.
Says the Baldwin Times:
"The action of Governor Oates in re
fusing to allow the Register and Adver
tiser and their ring to dictate to him in
his political aspirations, and force him
to run as a gold standard candidate for
governor, was a manly act, and has In
creased his popularity a thousand fold
with the people of Alabama. He has
given the ring the worst blow it has yet
received. The governor tells them In
emphatic terms that he does not believe
in a single gold standard, and does not
Indorse all the views and acts of the
Cleveland administration. If Senator
THE HEIGHTH OF STYLE
The very thing for cleanliness. The best bed for durability. Adorns the room and gives comfort
and repose. A full line from $7.00 upwards. Also receiving an exceptionally elegant line of
FURNITURE AND CARPETS!
Offered at prices lower than ever before. Prepare for the Holidays. A beautiful line of novelties
suitable for gifts. ..
Pygh is not his own successor Governor
; Oates will be our next United States
j senator from Alabama."
Beligion Should Be Amended.
^olr Ingersoll may have been wrong
! when he said if he had been the maker
of this world he would have made good
hedlth catching Instead of disease, yet
.thfl fellow who suggested the following
amendment to religion was a scholar
and a Christian:
''Some one whose name has been lost
iif i the shuffle wants an amendment to
religion against the man who will not
pay his debts. He says people who go
'tb bglls or get drunk are promptly
bounded from the church, but nothing
Is done to the pious sneak who forgets to
pay his just debts, especially if he con
tributes to the church. There is some
philosophy in this view of the matter.”
The Purpose of the Minority to Rulo or Ruin
Says the Montgomery Journal:
“The article published elsewhere from
the Mobile Register, and which was re
printed in the Montgomery Advertiser
without protest, and with it quasi in
dorsement, is a revelation in Alabama
politics. It reveals the purpose of
a small minority in the party in this
state to rule or ruin. A silver advocate
who would give utterance to such senti
ments would be denounced as a populite
or republican and his influence in party
councils destroyed and loyalty doubted.
For declaring he would not support a
candidate for president if nominated on
a single gold standard platform, Bryan
was denounced by the Register and oth
er papers as guilty of treason to the par
ty; and yet this is practically what the
Register says. While protesting that it
will support Captain Johnston for gov
ernor should he be nominated, it stabs
him, assassin like, and through him the
party it'professes adherence, by declar
ing he cannot be elected. It says not
one-third of the democrats of Mobile will
support him, or even one-third of the
democrats of Jefferson, Johnston’s own
county, will support him. Its meaning
cannot be misunderstood. It tells what
it thinks, or pretends to believe, bluntly,
and without trick or words of evasion.
It makes no attempt to disguise its
meaning. Perhaps less candid, open and
honest cuckoo newspapers would have
been less bold and outspoken. It says
what it means and means what it says.
The gold advocates will not support a
free silver democrat for governor. They
will either stay at home or vote for the
opposition. And that is what the Reg
ister calls democracy. These gold ad
vocates who would bolt the nominees
are called democrats. These so-called
democrats—this faction of the party
are the ones seeking to control its pol
icies, dictate its nominees and define its
principles. The Journal commends the
Register for its candor and honesty and
leaves it to the democracy of Alabama
to determine who are its most loyal ad
herents, most trusted leaders and who
are its most dangerous foes within.”
WHERE ARE WE AT?
JEo the State Herald:
I have been accustomed ,to the belief
That this was a free country—that free
fcm of thought, the freedom of speech,
ipe freedom of the press, were ideals of
pld-time American liberty. But it seems
M-e have outgrown that and we have ad
.ifanced to the position where thought
frnd actions must run in the same groove
channel, or dire is the consequences of
deviation from the beaten track blazed
But by a few self-constituted directors of
public opinion. It is an unpardonable
ffln to differ in views from Mr. Cleveland,
-Mr. Carlisle, the Montgomery Advertiser
iand the Mobile Register.
— Mr. Cleveland wrote to Mississippi that
difference of opinion from the views of
^pe administration on the financial ques
tion deserved and would meet with de
served and swift castigation or ostra
cism. Mr. Carlisle, Mr. Smith, Mr. Her
bert, Mr. Morton, and, perhaps, other
members of the cabinet, took the stump
to defend, not the democratic platform
of 1892; but, the administration's cur
rency views, which are, and have been,
different from that declaration of prin
ciples. This was never before the cus
tom of democratic or any other adminis
tration.
I have been a close reader of the Ad
vertiser for years, and was disposed to
regard It as the oracle of the national
and state administrations—which, hith
erto have been in unison with the princi
ples enunciated In the platforms of na
tional and state conventions. But, alasl
It and the Register have teased to be or
I
gans of the democratic party, but sim
ply partisans of the administration, right
or wrong. To differ with these papers
now, however good a democrat in other
respects, the recalcitrant is denounced,
arrested, brought before their drumhead
court and sentenced to expulsion from
the party or "disciplined" by marching
him around the camp at the point of the
bayonet, to the medley of the "Rogues'
March.” A few weeks ago the Adver
tiser chirped a few "harmonizing” notes;
the basis of said harmony to consist in
abandoning individual views and uncon
ditional acceptance of its Pharisaic
phillippics as to dogma and policy. See
ing that few if any surrendered to its
views in its heprtless criticism of Gov
ernor Oates' last letter to the Register,
counseling harmony by manly conces
sions on minor points, it raises the
“black flag,” the Indian war-whoop. “It
is a light to the finish,” “let the minority
go lu me u—i!
I am amazed at the Intolerance of these
two old, and hitherto, valiant defenders
of the party platforms. If the platform
of 1892 Is not a bimetallic platform, whai
Is it? If the administration has ever
stood upon that platform I have never
been able to see it; although if ever I
was a "man worshipper” I was disposed
to fall down and adore Grover Cleve
land. Hut I am a democrat and prefer
to stand where the grand council of dem
ocrats placed me in the line of battle to
adopting the orders of a subaltern. I
revere Mr. Cleveland now, although I
can see he has made fatal mistakes as a
party leader. In fact, as Governor Oates
has discovered long ago, and has the
courage to say; "He is a poor party
leader.” I may differ with Governor
Oates in some of his views, but In this
estimate of our commander-in-chief he is
eminently correct. The immortal Lee
had the courage to tell his bleeding, dis
heartened troops, when retiring from
Gettysburg: "Cheer up, boys; you have
done nobly, all that men could do. It
was my mistake.” Though he had chart
and written orders from his party, Gro
ver Cleveland has never owned that he
made a mistake, or sent a cheering, sym
pathetic word along the lines to his va
liant but disheartened party followers.
He lias never tried to restore his broken,
bleeding lines or tried to comfort them
In defeat. On the contrary, loving him
and respecting him as my superior officer
from the ranks. I can, and have seen,
some of his faults. He has no sympathy
with his party; in fact, he acted as if he
felt that “I am greater and stronger
man me puny.
I admire Joe Johnston, although I dif
fer with him in some of hi* supposed
views, and in my heart 1 believe he is
honest and sincere In attempting to re
store unity and harmony to the white
voters of Alabama, and this, more than
the -mere desire to be governor, is the
uppermost thought in his mind. Shall
he be "disciplined” by ostracism for this
patriotic desire or Impulse? Shall Gov
ernor Oates, whom the Advertiser so re
cently admired, be "disciplined” by de
feat for the senate, because he presumes
to differ with Mr. Cleveland and the Ad
vertiser in their slack interpretation of
the platform of 1892? Shall the survi
vors of the reconstruction war, when
“black heels were upon white necks” in
Alabama, be relegated and “disciplined"
for standing upon the platform with Its
interpretation that carried Mr. Cleveland
aiul the party pell mell over the re
publican hosls, capturing them bag and
baggage?
Governor Oates and Captain Johnston
desire unity and harmony in the demo
cratic party, to save and perpetuate the
democratic party. Yet the Advertiser
and the Register declare war against
those men, who were foremost In the fray
in other days. Governor Oates stands
precisely where he did when the Adver
tiser prevailed upon him to lead the party
a little over a year ago, and fought for
him lik_e a true soldier. Captain John
ston stands where he stood when he
seized the Oates flag and bore It aloft to
victory. Is ha to be "disciplined” for
that Belf-sacriflclng service to his party
and the people of Alabama? When we
consider the course of the two papers
above mentioned, truly we,may exclaim:
"Judgment hath tied to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.”
The democratic party can and ought
to harmonize and unify. They owe it to
themselves and the future prosperity of
Alabama. Let us unite upon the first
section of the platform 1892, with the In
terpretation thereof that resounded from
every stump and restrum in the land and
led the party to glorious victory. With
that unification and harmony restored
It will again lead us to victory in 1896.
BIMETALLIST.
The growing talk of a third term for
President Cleveland Is extremely signtd
cant. It does not mean that Mr. Cleve
land will be renominated, for the men
who make the talk, though highly neces
sary to the democratic party, have not
power enough In its councils to bring
about this result, in opposition to the
great mass of democrats who fear and
detest him. But it means that the best
element in the democratic party has no
confidence in any other candidate.—Port
land Oregonian.
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TOP-HEAVY NAMES.
An Office Boy Who Would Not Be Made
Sport of.
"I admit that I have rather a hard
name to spell or pronounce, and that is
why I encourage my friends in their pro
clivity to call me Zig,” said C. O. Ziegen
fuss to a San Francisco Call man. But
while I make this confession as to my
own outlandish patronymic I want it
understood that mine is not the worst
name in the world. Once while I was do
ing newspaper work in Denver our edL- .
tor advertised for a new office boy. A
bright-appearing young fellow, with a
mild look in his eyes, said he was ready
to go to work.
.«• ‘All right,’ said the city editor, ‘let
me ask your name.' The lad hesitated
a moment and eventually fished out a
card, which bore the name ‘Herman V.
Morgenansgelagen.’
“ 'Very well. Mr. Morgenausgelagen,'
said the editor, 'take that desk and an
swer any calls that may be made. But
first let me introduce to you the members
of the staff. My name is Dickensheets.
This fair-haired gentleman here is Mr.
Felewisch. The brunette on your right is
Mr. Ecklngreen and the gentleman with
the sylph-like form is Mr. Ziegenfuss.’
‘‘These were all genuine names, but the
new office boy would not believe it. He
was on his dignity in a moment and said:
‘I will have you understand, sir, that I
came here to work and not to be joshed.
I do not propose to stay in a place where
I am insulted. Good-day, sir.'
"Clapping his hat on his head he left.
We tried to call him back, but it was no
use.”
This story led to others in regard to
strange names. “I used to know a man
in Missouri named Auxie Anchico Ben
zull Maria Penith Hildreth Dickinson
Tompkins,” said Bob Davis. “I have
heard Dan de Quille tell of a colored
man in Washington city who bore the
cognomenic. burden of Thomas Dldymus
Christopher Holmes Henry Cadwalder
Peter Jones Henry Clay Anderson."
Awarded
Highest Honors—World’s Fair.
DR
BAKING
P0WMR
MOST PERFECT MADE.
A pure Grape Cream of Tartar Powder. Fret
'.iam Ammonia, Alum or anyother adulterant.
40 YEARS THE STANDARD