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OUIDA AND DISRAELI.
The High. Prisstea3 and High Priest
of Flunkydom.
Oonn f'latt's Chapter on C2rotesiu
tils Wornhlp-Ho We Insult
our Aticctors Where
to Ha nt Snob.
are terraced, anclt&islaHe is subject to Impos
Eible storms, to which those of the tropica
are flea bites. Th storms are necessary to
the drowning and half drowning of people
who get on it and in it, without the slightest
bhow of reason, and invariably without lifo
preservers, and no humane station near other
than the proud heart of the noble lady, who
condescends to 6a ve all of use to the story.
All this seems very unpromising material
for a novel, and yet one ceta interested. The
. cloud castle changes into stone and marble;
Ouco upon a time, years since, I sat in th s iae Posaioie cnaraccera rate on me ana
hotel at Dover, waiting for the winds and )
I
individuality, and up to a certain point the
most Intellectual holds to the book with an
waters oi me cu&nnel to acrree upa some-i "- -'r-
Franco with- Aaiere3C unserving ine worxs or superior
thing so that I mlfitt crcs3 to
out lufferlhsc osore tcrtura lion tha law siL-
lawfl. I as glrSh to cacn delnj' at Calais
m wsll as Dnvsr, for I had cczao to realize
that tfcere wta mcra teaslckcca ia a gircn
spas ca that channel than oft em? other
trater tafiwn to hnaianity.
Tha boata are small . in sLas, but possessed
of a capacity to torture far ahead of Eng
land's hoelaviathans, whose thunder shakes
the earth, or words to that effect. A chan
nel steamer has six distinct motions, any
ona of which is enough to hare silenced the
ancient mariner. There is a forward and
back motion, then from back to forward,
then one from right to left, thei.f rora left
to right, then one np and down motion, that
is dreadful, especially tlio down, when the
attraction of gravitation seems to leave one
with the most awful sensation of following
the floor into utter nothingness. There are
some very reliable people who insist on
another motion that U a combination of all
the others. I never reached that, being
quite insensible before that impossible con
dition is reached.
That proposed tunnel greatly interested
tne, although I never expect to cross the
channel again, A memory of the past and
a regard for humanity gave me motive for
the interest, and I was disgusted with thos
epauletted stupidities that found in the
proposed tunnel danger to England. That
a dark, narrow hole, one piece of artillery
could easily defend and an ounce of dyna
mite destroy, could, by any possibility bo
made a danger of, is as absurd as to assert
that in the -channel's sea-sickness lies Eng.
iand'a safety.
However, I was not waiting to have the
tunnel constructed, but for time when tide
and current and winds should all agree, that
X might sail over without dying outright.
Tha Dover hotel in which I found myself
was a common enough looking affair, but
possessed of comforts, and I read novel?, and
gazed idly around me at the badly dressed
women and worse dressed men, in and out
of uniforms, when my attention was at
tracted by a woman some forty years of
age, who was gorgeously attired, and
seemed in her manner to feel that she was
somebody, and anxious to impress others
with that fact. She was tall, well set up,
with England's lime-stone formation ft the
way of bones, well covered with adipose,
rather coarse in tissue, garnished with light
blue y3, and an abundance of yellow hair.
There was something vulgar in thia
woman's appearance when quiet, and it be
came oppressive when she moved, and that
was nearly all the time. She senmed to .
ceurt observation and at the e&nvj time de
spise It.
I cannot put in words precisely the very
onpleasant impression this loudly dressed
woman caused the looker on, but I jet .dress
and manner were the essence of bad taste
and vulgarity. She attracted o:e,' how
ever, and I was not surprised whon a friend
told me that this bumptious person was
aone other than Ouida, the' well "known
novelist.
I regretted the information caniB as this
strange creature passed from my view for
ever, as I could have lightened tha bore of
toy waiting, by studying a pen driver whose
writings are certainly remarkible,, and
whose influence in my own land is phenome
nal. ' ' ! ' '
Ouida is the high priestess of Flunky
dom, and the great mass of those she minis
ters to are free born Americans whose social
and physical structures are based on a be
lief in equality and honor to honest toil.
The late Disraeli, "me Lord Bettconsfleld,"
was the high priest. And the power of
this sort of church may be appreciated
when we remember that he was a poor Jew,
who sold his brilliant talents to the moneyed
aristocracy of England.
.There 4 is jio part of the world, in which
this gig-worship, as Carlyle calla It, is so
grcstesque and contemptible as with us.
Deecondents of laborers, we are a nation of
sop-keepers, with no more claim to gig-life
jreaius.
TTp to a certain point, I say, for suddenly
the interest dies out, and, at least, a remain
ing third falb as flat as our average debate
in tbs S ate cf the United States.
Ouida u03 her weakness, and it com in on
her religion. This peculiar lady has her re
ligion. It is a worship of rank, and it is as
blind and bigoted as any creed, known to
humanity. A French playwright, the master-artist
of to-day, the Greek of modern
Europe, will sacrifice ail the character of his
drama for a telling dramatic situation.
Ouida will earifice both character and situa
tion born of her dramatic instincts upon the
altar erected to the rich and well born, I I
Tha hero of this story is a superior being in
all things but one, and that is fatal. He is
handsome as the son-in-law of the late
Horace Greeley. His attainments equal his
intellect, and both are ridiculous. He could
knock Theodore Thomas cold as the leader oi
an orchestra He could paralyze Bierstadt
as a 'painter of stage scenery. Thinking
aloud upon his legs he was able to 6tagger
the Bilver-tongued orators of all Europe. As
a diplomat he made Bismarck sing small.
As a finished man of the world he won all
hearts, especially rich and well-born hearts,
as if by magic. . .
He had but one sin, and that was being
born out of wedlock. The son of a Russian
prince and a slave woman, he had the mark
of Cain all over him under his silken attire.
This at last betrayed him, for being stripped
in the forest, after being wounded by a wild
boar, his enemy, another bore on two legs,
saw the marks and hurled him"; down to the
vile depths to which such a degraded creature
belongs, in Ouida's church of . worship dedi
cated to the god of gig society. From being
as brave as clever, he suddenly passed to a
cowardice that sickens one. From the keen,
clear-eyed sagacity of a finished diplomat,
he changed to a sneak, and more fatal than
all, from being a deliciously wicked fellow
he developed the goody goodness of the man
who escapes sin by being incapable of trans-
gression. - --
Thi3 is fearful rot, and the more exasper
ating because the author so narrowly escapes
a superb dramatic situation, and the preser
vation of her hero, upon the interest in whom
centres the Interest of the story.
"When this beautiful hero staggers from
bis sick room of the cloud earth, to the apart
ment of his rivalthe' superb nobleman' born
in the holy wedlock of generations of noble
man-killers, a gorgeously gotten up stupid
ity" on aristocratic legs, and the Interest
culminates we know the back counties have
been heard. from," that the returns are all in,
and the momentous result is to be an
nounced we expect our hero to tower up,
master of the situation
It is nothing of the sort. The poor devil
of a husband wilts.
"You know me T he 6ays, holding on to
some piece of the gorgeous upholstery, pe
culiar to this high-born earth. . . .
"I know you," responds in icy coldness
and contempt the evolved greatness on aris
tocratic legs. And then the miserable hus
band begs for mercy.
' I say this is not only' exasperating because
f the jolt we get in the loss of a high dra
matic situation, but for the fact that we have
wasted so much valuable emotion on the dog.
. It was all right and proper for this fraud
to seek the chamber of his enemy, to find, if
possible, how much of his case wa3 known
to his persecutor, but having done 60 ho
should have wrapped the folds of his coun
try's flag about his illegitimatf person and
gone down to slow music.
A French artist would have done better.
After a scene in which the hero would have
had the best of the argument, and triumphed
over the pet of legitimate aristocracy,
lie wouM have "preferred one request, and
that was to have ' the privilege pf b'&eing
the awful news of his woe f cC ' ro'to nis
gorgeous wife hur-- uewnis noble
rival in ten-, to fajA'-
It 'sS thatr&lite of good ' ink and tho time
Ui3 gig society was oppressive, with its
mighty lords and ladies in fine linen, furs,
brocades and diamonds He never w read
to any great extent in England, -and tho few
who read ridiculed and laughed at Lis novel3.
We devoured them.
ily Lord Beacon3field took Mrs. Chesa
borough, the beautiful and accomplished wife
of our secretary of legation, at Louden, to
dinner one?. The bright little woman had
crammed for tho occasion, and lit fall some
nsat reference to tha great man's novels.
"I should know you were American," he
said, ''".-ithout being told."
"By what," she asked.
"By not only the fact that American
women are more beautiful than ours of Eng
gland.but they are tho only" people possessed
of enough good taste to read my books."
It is strange that with this evil preying
upon U3 and I mean not only 'Ouida, but
the lasciricus log-pioces wo get from Franca
and Germany that our soloes do not be
think themselves of a remedy. This Is to be
had in an international copyright. The
literary poison is not only profuse, but it is
cheap. Until our governmert sees fit to
protect our authors we cannot have a litera
ture of our own, not to speak of a healthy
literature. I have threshed out this straw
before, and so spare y our readers.
Doxx Piatt. .
Mac-o-cbekk, O., Aug. g. .
Dill Tiyt'm TerpIcorean Taste Gets a
Set-Back.
Fuck.
I have a friend whose tastes harmonize
with mine first-rate generally; but there'a
one thing in which we are not congenial.
We agree on politics, religion and temper
ance, being radical on the first, temperate
as to the second, and in a state of armed
neutrality as to the last.
But we donot 'raternlze on the subject or
amsic. music has been nearer to creating
np our little Damon and Pythias business
than anything else. He is all soul and song.
I am sordid and plebeian in my tastes, tie
would willingly pay five dollars to get a
glimpse of the tonsils of a great prima
donna, while I steal away to revel in the
common song of the negro minstrel.
This, he claims, constitutes one or tne
great distinguishing characteristics between
the man whose blood is a deep navy-blue and
one who is constructed of common clay.
Mayhap. I use the word mayhap here in
its broadest sense.
A few weeks ago my friend and I had one
of these discussions, in which lie tried to
make me believe that Theodore Thomas wa3
musical director when the morring stars
tang together, and I replied with one of my
most scathing epigrams, after which he
curled up like a retrousse summer squash.
I then invited him to accompany me to a
minstrel performance which took place that
evening. He disguised himself and went.
It was not a troupe of great prominence;
but the show-bills were very well done, and
the whole company wore plug ha So I
Judged it would be a pretty good perform
ance. My friend, myself and another lead
ing citizen suffered through it together.
They outnumbered us three to one.
There were only two of the company who
were at all facetious, and they were drunk.
They were drunk by special request of the
management. After the olio had been half
rendered, the audience decided that it would
be nothing more than right to jump on the
stage and kill the entire company. On seo
end thought, however, we gave it up, as
they outnumbered us three to one. So we
had to sit there and stand it.
I suppress the names of the leading cit!
een and tav friend, as they are highly con
nected. So am I, for that matter; but I
have been a justice of the peace and post
master for eight years, and a man who has
been on the bench and in publio life off and
on glories in his shame; he cultivates a cuti
cle like the rind of a fire-proof penitentiary.
Bo I come before my constituents to-day and
admit that I was present at this grand f are1
well performance. It was what might be
termed an involuntary farewell perform
ance, for the sheriff acted as property man
after that, and the company disbanded,
some going into Minnesota harvest flelai.
aad the rt-rt adopting other specialties.
It, than we have to common sense.
eomethisg pitiful and mean in our
efforts to appear other than whafcvgn f0r
Ibe ambition JtiTM the effort in-
Since the great French revolution the aris
tocracy have been driven out of their native
lands, but they sever willingly emigrate.
They have too pleasant a time at home. A
few younger sons, convicted of crime, were
ent, with other convicts, to Virginia, that
Was for a time a penal colony. With this
exception the great mass that conquered a
continent, and set up the great republic,
wera laborers, and we should be proud of
the fact. . ' ' i
We are net, I am grieved to say, 4 Lamar
tine told sne that were he hunting snobs and
flunky worshippers of the vilest sort, he
would go among the American colony at
Paris. He thought, and so asserted, that
they were exceptions to the great mase of
moble descenients of heroic sire. He was
mistaken; they fairly, represented our peo
ple in that respect. There is not a man or
woman among us who is not . eager to bump
his or her empty skull upon tho floor in
presence of a lord. ?-
I was one of a crowd invited by Mrs.
Dcalgren, of Washington, to meet an Eng
lish princeI have lorgotteu which one
and it mad6 me sick to see the hungry-eyed
womea look at the young man, as if they
wiahed to eat aim, while senators and mem
bers of the cabinet addressed the poor boy
witb bated breath.
The violence wo do titles comes of this in
nate snobbery. & man is content with
plain Mr., and the crop of colonels, judges,
governors is second only to agriculture pro
ducts, that we are assured underlie our pros
. perity, as a people. Of course, under this
state f fact, Ouida, who deals only with
elegant and titled people, is a great favorite.
The high priestess U not without power.
Her descriptive faoultv is great, and she
loeeecse8 certain dramatic instincts that,
were they not marred by her intense snob
bery, would be yet greater.
Oa mt aer later novels. "Wanda." illus
trates tha In the mountains of Nowhere
she bo2d3 an Impossible castle and peoples
it with impossible characters. The castle is
as grand as any one could weave oat of elouda
in a gorgeoH3 snnse . There is a little lake
tsh&atbj garden? pf tbis palatial affair
pr-j- a -
Y fact that this makes the staple reading of
our educated idiots, and our educated idiots
make the vast majority of our reading pub
lic. Stop at the first book store or news
stand for- light literature, and ask what
novels are most in demand, and you will
fiud Ouida leads all the rest, ten to one.
Drop in at the nearest public library and de
maud of the librarian the books most sought
for, and the response will be "Ouida and
South worth." ; i i i '
On such rot are our people being fed. Our
citizens grow up on such literary training.
It was an Irishman who, noting the increase
of crime, said b& dad J but .crime is im
proving." Between the lascivious "drama
and such novels as those of Ouida,
stolon by managers and publishers from
Europe, we are educating the masses to a
cheerful condition, evidently.
In England, where the people see hourly
the very commonplace class . that go to
make the aristocracy, there is a healthy an
tidote in the knowledge. But with us this
class is unknown, save in the novels and
plays, where it is depicted as composed of
superior beings.
An American lady foolishly carried a
letter of introduction to Ouida at Florence.
In the conversation that followed, the vulgar
creator of an absurd aristocracy said:
" I hate Americans."
"Yott should not," was the keen retort,
"for they are the only people who read
your nasty books."
And this is not only true, but they are read
by our people with an effect unknown in
in Europe ... The freedom given young peopls
by our peculiar social and political structures
leaves snch impressions as these vile beoks
produce to have results unpleasantly start
ling to the more thoughtful.
I got my copy of "Wanda" from an old
bald-headei, bottle-nosed commission mer
chant, who had been reading it on the cars.
, VI seldom read novels," be said, deprecat
ingly, "but I found that very interesting
very interesting, indeed." May Satan seize
me if I did not find it the same, up to that
point of dramatic failure. So there is no use
denouncing "Ouida" as silly or stupid. . ; ;
Another popular author with US from the
same cause, our fiunkyism, but not so
wicked as ,Ouid., tras the late Disraeli,
Silver ! Silver ! Silver !
:o:-
GREAT SILVER GIFT SALE!
COMMENCING
Saturday ISTov. 29tii
-A T-
CHA-S. J. PISHEL'S.
:o:-
15,000 Worth of Silver Presents
WILL BE GIVEN AWAY DURING THIS SALE.
Butter Knives, Butter Dishes, Castors, Etc., Etc.,
To every Customer ParehMiag- 8.5a wertti er Gmm&a.
:o:-
TOYS ! TOYS ! !
$2,500 WORTH OF TOYS
And Christmas Presents will be given away during this Sale to every
Customer buying $1 worth or more.
-:o:-
Oeiri buy Toys for Christmas, bat ell mt
C H. .A. S .
FISH EL'S
Corner Fort and Hotel Street.
m tt
Headquarters for Supplies
FOR THE-
HOLIDAYS ! HOLIDAYS ! HOLIDAYS !
F O R
Santa Claus ! Santa Claus ! Santa Clans !
FOR-
Sdmttsfments.
L. B. K ERR,
ME EC HA IT TAILOR
OA ZETTE JBUlLDIISrGK
11 Just Iltturued from Enrojpe
WITH A LARGE STOCK OF
New Goods and Materials
Of the Latest Styles and Patterns,
Which he U Prepared (o Make up lu tho
LATEST FASHION.
-AND FOR THE-
LOWEST PEICES POSSIBLE.
U7 tt
GEEAT REDUCTION
IX 3? T-S 1 C E S O K
BOOTS fe 8I-IOES
fjsrtfe it nd Varied Assortment Just Iteeeivefl ex. 9lMrioi.(
:o:-
"Small Profits and Quick Returns"
IS MY MOTTO
:o:-
Ladies' dents' and Children's
BOOTS AND . SHOES
1 1ST
K in a rr
A.11
VAR'-IETTT-
of
GENTS'
Styles and Sizes
DANCING PUM?S,
Ladies' Common Sense Slippers,
AND CHILDREN'S BOOTS & SHOES
Of IJescriptions,
Distribv,t.,ig Paris green on some Potato
bugs.
I saw the clog dancer last woek distribut
tag Paris green on some potato bugs on a
email farm, wearing a plug bat and singing
"Empty is the Cradle, Baby's Gone."
One of the end men is driving an ic
wagon in a neighboring town, and tbe
clarionet swallower of the orchestra is hold
lug down a free claim in Dakota.
I took my friend to tha minstrels to con
trince him that there is more genuine enjoy
ment in a simple melody than there is in the
higher type of music, which requires a culti
rated ear to interpret; but I feel intuitively
that I did not succeed. Neither of us has
mentioned it, however. In fact, I was about
to say we never speak as we pass by. If he
would only recognize me on the street, and
give me a chance, I would apologias; but h
maintains a cold and haughty reserve, which
is slowly but surely crushing out my young
life.
Brutal persons who take credit to tnem
s elves for what they call "frankness," re
ceive this merited slap from a writer in
Blackwood's Magazine: "It is not he who
loves you that tells you candidly what he
thinks of your person, your pretensions,
your children or your poems. Perfect"can
dor is dictated by envy or some other un
friendly feeling. Friendship is candid only
when candor is argent meant to avert
impending danger or to rectify an error.
The candor which is an impertinence never
springs from friendship. Love is sym
pathetic. The man whom you indignantly
defend against any accusation brought by
another, 60 confident .are you in his un
shakable integrity, you may momentarily
suspect of crimes far exceeding those which
you repudiated. ; Indeed, I have known
sagacious men to hold that perfect frank
ness In expressing tho thoughts is a sure
sign of imperfect friendship. Society re
poses on a very thin crust cf convention."
Christinas Presents ! Christmas Tresentel
. At Prices which Defy Competition
F1 U, jST K GE'RTIZ,: ,
New Yean Gilts ! New Year's Gilts!
Every Day a Grand Opening Day.
New Goods aro Daily being Placed on our
Counters as soon as Room is Made.
Arrived rrm Eafflsmd rl Australia,
f Jfvember 23rd,
per P. M. 0. Zelalla
Terra Cotta Figures, Bisque Figures, Ala
baster Figures, Motto Cups and Saucers,
Fine Moustache Cups, China. Vases,
Bohemian Vases, China and
Bisque Ornaments, Rose
Ornaments, Ladies'
Bags, Work Boxes,
Scrap Albums, Dress
ing Cases, a Fine Lin,
Ladies' Fans, Velyet Frames,
(elegant finish), a splendid assort
ment of Ladies' and Gents' Purses,
Toilet Sets, Carvers, Bread Knives, Scissors.
Pocket Knives, Tea, Call and Dinuer Bolls,
Fine Ink Stands, Accordeons the best
manufactured. Bell Battles, Rubber
Dolls, Mouth Organs, Trumpets,
Clarionettes, Cabinets,
Elegant Dressed Dolls,
Fine Stationery,
Boxes, Cases and
Racks, Cabinet Albums,
Lustres, Glass Sets, Crockery
Ware, Toilet Soap, Pianos, Shell
Work, Dinner 8ets, Color Boxes, Table
Mats, Tea Sets, China, Tin, Metal.
Cups, Saucers, Dishes, Bowls, Plates, Jugs, Ewers and Basins, Tea Pots,
Coffee Pots, Parian Figures, Flower Stands, Bouquet Holders,
Billiard Chalk, Fancy China Ware, Granite Ware,
ETC., ETC., ETC, ETC., ETC., ETC., ETE., ETC., ETC.
EFRecollect we throw out no leaders. Every article speaks for itself,
and we sell as low as the lowest, and you will find always perhaps lower.
KElSriSTEDY & CO.,
FOttT STEEET,
Honolulu, H. I.
UUK15-H0f!
ROYAL HAWAIIAN HOTEL.
GEORGE H. FAS SETT, - Manager.
The Royal Hawaiiaii Hotel is one of tho loading architectural
structures of Honolulu. The grounds upon which, it stands comprise
an entire square of about four acres, fronting on Hotel Street. This
large area affords ample room for a lawn and beautiful walks, which
are laid out most artistically with flowering plants and tropical trees
There are twelve pretty cottages within this charming enclosure, all
under the Hotel management. The Hotel and cottages afford accom
modations for 200 quests. The basement of the Hotel contains the
finest billiard hall in the city; also, a first-class bar, well stocked with
fine wines and liquors.
The main entrance is on the second floor, to the right of which are
the elegantly furnished parlors. A broad passage -way leads from the
main ball to the dining-room. These apartments open on 'to broad
verandas, where a magnificent view of the Xuuanu Mountains may be
seen through the wealth of tropical foliage that surrounds tho
balconies.
The fare dispensed is the best the market affords, and is first-class
in all respects. Hotel and cottages are supplied with pure water from
an artesian well on the premises. The Clcrk'3 office is furnished with
the Telephone, by which communication is had with the leading busi
ness firms of the city.
Importers
and Wholemle Dealers in House Furnishing Good, fancy
Article, Notions, Xovelties, Specialties, Etc.
p. o. ox ago. noxdtrir.
EVERY EFFORT HAS DEEN MADE
And Money Lavishly Expended under the Present Able
Management to make this establishment the
" MODEL FAMILY HOTEL."
A Reputation it Enjoy and
MOST JUSTLY MEEITS.
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