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PACIFIC - COMMERCIAIT ADVERTISE!?, SEPTEMBER J3, 1887.
INTELLIGENT HORSES. ANTICS OF AN APE. They Obey the Various Huffle Calls and Can be Relied on ia Battle. "I Was only a young subaltern when the war broke out, but I was a thorough artillery tactician. My highest ambi tion ra$ to have alight battery of my own, and I had no difliculty in secur ing a light battery of New York volun teer artillery. It was splendidly equipped. There were six ten-pound Parrot guns and twelve as fine horses for guns and caissons as ever went into the lield. The men were so green that they did not know the muzzle of a piece from the breech, and the horses were fresh from the farms, many of them not even broken to harness. I at once com menced drilling my new command, and in an incredibly short time it was pro nounced ready by the chief of artillery for active service in the field. That battery became my pride, and its profi ciency in maneuvering I do not believe was ever excelled. I believed then, and still think, that there is not a pret tier military command than a light ar tillery. 'It was the first battery that I had ever drilled from its inception. I soon found that the horses learned sooner than the men. This was especially the case respecting the bugle-calls. Just as with the men, too, some of the horse learned faster than others. Some of them had better ears for music, too; and, while there were those who would obey any buglo-eall after executing the maneuver a few times, others, just like the men, would never learn the mean ing of the notes. The most proficient horses were always placed in the lead. More than once I have dismounted the men, and then with the bugle put the battery through the most intricate man euvers, such as counter-marching at close intervals at a gallop without a rider on the horses. I had also taught the two lead teams something not con tained in the tactics, that was to lie down in the traces at a certain bugl call. This little trick saved my guns at the battle of Fair Oaks, on the 31st day of Mav, 1862. Thedead teams had been ordered to lie down as soon as the firing bagan. The enemy's fire was high, but not far enough above them to save the pole teams. TI1C3- were struck down, butwhen we were forced to leave the field there were enough of lead horses to pull the guus ofi. All through that terrible sheet of liame and lead thosa horses lay down, not very quietly, of eoursc, and when the bugle-call sounded close to , their ears, so as to be heard above the din of battle, they sprang up to their feet, and, many of them rider less, executed the order to limber up and retreat.'1 Louisville Courier-Journal. : A DOLEFUL DRUGGIST. He Tells of Ilia Benefactions to Humanity and Bemoans Its Ingratitude. "O, yes, drugs have come down in price a greatdeal in the last year or two,' said an up-town dispenser of health-restoring compounds as he glanced sadly at the price list in front of his door. "The bottom has fallen out of every thing. Not only standard drugs but proprietary medicines have been so reduced in price that there is scarcely any profit left in the business. Medicines that we used to get $1.25 for now sell for 75 cents; dollar medicines go for 50 or 65 cents; 25-cent com pounds for 15 cents, and so on. -Of course that's all right for the public, but how about, us? . Nobody stops to think that besides supplying drugs and medicines, saving lives at all hours of the night, spreading health broadcast by dispensing pure soda Water and other things for which we get some little return, we are an indis pensable public convenience in .ways that never bring us a cent of profit. For instance, here and everywhere else, except down town, every body who waits for a street car waits for it in a drug store. Everybody who wants to borrow a newspaper or get a light for a cigar, or look at a direc tory, pr use a telephone, or inquire about the family who moved away from the house three blocks away year before last, or put up a free advertise ment, or write a postal card, goes straight for a drug store. Then look at the people who save doctors' bills. They come in here, describe their symp toms, tell how sick they are and want to know what to do about it. We tell them to soak their feet, wear woolen socks, and take a dose of salts or what ever else they need, and they thank us and buy a postage stamp. Why I've spent half an hour at a time telling a man what to do for sore throat or gout, and then seen him go away without spending a cent. This sort of thing goes on all the time. We are con tinually giving people information, ad vice and all kinds of accommodation. It's a little tough to run that sort of a charitable institution on a profit of eight cents 011 every dollar bottle of medicine you sell. It's no wonder ,we make the sarsaparilla sirup for the soda water fountain by shaking an empty sarsaparilla bottle over a bucket of water. We would be justified in doing worse things than that, I think." X. Y. Commercial Advertiser. Trying - to Catch a Stray Monkey In Paria A Question of Ownership. Poe's tragic tale of the murderous an tics of an 'ape in Parte lias just found a comical counterpart. Oddly enough, both dramas te-ere enacted in the same locality, that is to say,: not far from the morgue. A bevy , of newly enlisted conscripts, with painted pictures on their hats, were crossing the Point Neuf, arm in arm, , keerjing step to the music of the "Marsel- laise," when suddenly they eaw a small ; but nimble monkey leaping and bound i ing in front of them, making a zigzag I course, from one side of the bridge to the other, "frightened at the water on either hand, and too beaddled in mind to ! think of making a straight and swif t es i cape to the end of the bridge, and thence to his home. - -The young conscripts, for- getting their eountry and its national song, gave a scream of delight, broke ranks and gave instant chase after the-' lively little beastU Tlio raw recruits, un-diciplined-yet ager for action, performed prodigies," of, valor in running against and knocking one another down, and whisk ing . off one another's picture covered hats, but no one of the hunters caught the monkey," . He dodged deftly between the collective.legs of the whole battalion, and was as brisk iri his "new departures" as the Irislmum'.s flea. Soon the melee, like a traveling gust of wind, was trans ferred from the bridge to the adjoining quai de la nieggisserie. Here the numer ous passers by, on .seeing the fun, at once joined in it,ndding;ta the baffled military force ja-fresheivil reserve, The sieetacle was exhilarating; The crowd became dense, and everybody was soon stupidly looking down and around, here and there, expecting the monkey to be found under somebody's feet. 'Poor - thing, he will probably 13 trampled to, death," exclaimed some humane voices. But this apprehension was soon put at rest. A ' hundred - merry' throats sud denly burst into a ringing cheer. Had the monkey been caught? No! He was farther than ever from such an igno minious fate he had climbed a tree! "Look at the little brute," said a stout gentleman, who had a legal j)ortfolio under his arm, "how he is grinning at us! showing contempt to the court and Jury." . Two or three ragamuffins, veritable gamins, then climbed the monkey's tree, almost as nimbly as if they had been monkeys themselves. Did they get their hands upon their Simian brother? Not at all! He hopped from branch to branch, and, on being hotly presf;ed, made a final and splendid jump better than anything done on the trapeze at the hippodrome landing himself safely on ytho next tree. The gamins were badly laughed at. Nothing so ill succeeds as ill success, as Talleyrand might have ob served. But the gamins were not to be disconcerted by a laugh nor outwitted by an ape. The young rogues attacked the next tree, and the next, until the monkey, having no more trees to leap into, skipped at last to the only remain ing refugo, which was the top of a lamp post. On this low pinnacle of evident danger his chances of maintaining hh liberty and life might have been small, except for the opportune interference of a tall policeman, who said: "Stand off, boys, I will reach up and take him down, quietly." Whereupon the gentle giant out stretched his long right arm, and grazed the willing captive, who showed mani fest signs of relief at thus receiving the protection of tho law. Was the sport now over? Certainly not. It was, in fact, rebegun. "Who is the owner of this animal? Let him step forth and claim his pro perty," said the officer, magisterially. "The monkey is mine," replied a whis kered young man, with unkempt hair and an uncanny look. "No; ho is mine," replied a small boy, smaller even than any of the gamins who had climbed tho trees. "You are a little liar," rejoined the unkempt man. You aro a big thief," retorted the The Chicago Xews claims to have received a letter from Charles Egbert Cradtfock favoring knee-breeches in these words: "1 have worn them for a number of years, and am very much pleased with them. Nothing could in duce me to wear trousers now." Bos Ion Globe. ' m , r " A workman at the Carson mint has discovered that drill points heated to a cherry red and tempered by being driven into a bar of lead,, will bore through the hardest steel or plat glass without per ceptibly blunting, jgzixgd , courageous lad. In two minutes the popular interest in this dispute grew to a fever heat. There was something in the honest, scared, tear ful look of the little boy that excited the sympathy of the bystanders. A police man is, of all men, pre-eminently sus picious. The policeman who held tho monkey gave a searching and suspicious look at the grizzly whiskerando who stood as claimant. "Give the monkey to the little boy," cried several voices in the crowd. "Not without evidence," replied the officer. "So, now, my little man, can you prove to me that this monkey is yours?" "Yes, I can," cried the boy trium phantly; "this is a he monkey, and I have his wife in my pocket!" Whereupon, to the astonishment and delight of the applauding crowd, the led drew forth from his pocket a tiny pet fe male monkey, the animal which the French call the guenon. The evidence was complete, and, as the French journ alists say, "tho incident was closed." Kansas City Journal. The Salt Craze. The majority of our readers will re member the blue glass craze which raged so furiously in 1871-2. The manufac tories of blue glass reaped an enormous harvest, and people who never allowed the sun to shine upon them before per mitted its beams to reach them through blue glass hung in convenient southern windows. There are some indications that another craze is coming to take the place of blue glass and the more recent furor of hot water. The latest is tho consumption of sea salt or rock salt from Turk's Island as a cure for nearly all the Ills of the body. The craze has reached (Jtica and is traveling tins way. So far, the sea salt eaten in season and out of season has been found to cure consump tion, dyspepsia and kidney difficulty, headache and general good for nothing ness. Rochester Democrat. NEW GOODS ! NEW GOODS ! If LEES & CO. 99 Fort Street, Have just opened a new consignment of NTEW and SEASONABLE GOODS, ""Inspection Invited..52y CIGARS. A Kemarkable Flower. A remarkable flower whicli grows 14, D00 feet above the sea on Mount Whitney is described by Rev. Mr. Travels in The Kew York Times. This is 1,500 feet above -the timber line, among the clouds, where all other vegetation has utterly teased to exist. It is called Polemonium confertum or Jacob's ladder. San Fran lisco Chronicle. If you want a tine CIGA1J, try some of Straiten &. Storm's, which have jus? arrived at HOLLISTJSR & COS, 109 JFort Street, 73 EE. K. Alclntyre & Bro., IMPORTERS AND DRALKR8 IN Groceries, Provisions and Feed EAST CORNER FORT AND KING STREETS. New Ooods received by every pacaet from the Eastern States and Eurove. i'resh California Produca by every steamer. All orders faithfully attended to, and Goods delivered to any part of the city free of charge. Tslnnd orders solicited. Satisfaction guaranteed. Postoffice Box No. 145 Telephone No. 92 60 apl7 1876, GEO W. LINCOLN. 1886. BUILDER 75 and 77 Kino- Street, - Honolulu liell Telephone So. 275. 65 Mutual Telephone No. 65. WINE k SPIRIT MERCHANT CAMPBELL'S FIRE-PROOF BLOCK, Merchant Street, Honolulu. KEEPS THE Finest anil Best Assorted Stock JOS. SCHLITZ MILWAUKEE BEEP-. IN THE MARKET. s Sole Agent of the . CWV HRwaiian Island i fcr t4)W S. XT) (V v J. S&ichntt Hmciivg Co., SAN FR.fN'CISCO. Respectfully solicits patron age and guarantees com plete satisfaction to all. IF NATIONAL BREWING CO., SAN FRANCISCO. S. LACHMAN & CQ.'S CALIFORNIA WINES. A. EENKHAUSEN & CO., WHISKIES, &c.f S. F Delmonico and Veuve Cliquot Champagnes. X W. C. PEACOCK & CO. Wholesale Wine and Spirit Merchants S.t .l'l'.Or STKEET, IIOXOI.l'1.1', II. I. Uave just received ex CERASTES, HEP.Cl'I.ES aDd other late arrivals direct from Europe. Gr. H. Mumm's "Extra Dry" Champagne, do do 4iDry Verzenay" Champagne lu Pints and Quarts. MELCHER'S. "ELEPHANT" GIN In large clear crystal bottles, 5 gallons per case. CASES J. D. K. & Z. GIN Each 'JO bottles. -1 4-5 gallons. J. J. Miisson's 10-year-old Brandy And a full assortment of the most favorite brands of WINES AND LIQUORS, ALES, p. o. r.ox r.ivj. Which are offered for sale at lowest rates. ..mf TELEPHONES NoJ6. LEWI & CO., ai&irtistmtMs. PACIFIC HARDWARE CO., I'd, ::IR0N.M0.GKKS .----- 1 1 4 NEW GOODS Just Iveceived. CONCORD LAMP ATTACHMENT A Kerosene Oil Stove Which can he used on a d mnion lamp-hurner. jStEW lamp goods At very low prices. Latest Improved Burners. A fine line of GLASSWARE Entirely new to this market. 'gjQTCnW and examine cur novelties. 0 111 Fort Street.-Importen Dealer In Staple and Fancy Groceries. :o: tttITT GOODS . i.- i ,i-ovs liand a full and complete line of ; By every steamer from Cahiorma, and ama on nana, a i Provisions, Etc- Etc. I 01 Satisfaction gunt.ed. Telephone No. 240. P. O. Box No. 29?. M. W. MeCHKSNBT & SOBS, 42 and U Queen St.. HONOLULU. 43 Clay Street, SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. Importers and Wholesale Grocers. A FULL LINE OF STAPLE AND FANCY GROCERIES, COFFEES, TEAS ATsTD SPICES. Plantation Stores, Salmon, Beef, Pork, Flour. Beans, Bread, ete. Fresh arrivals hy every steamer and sailing vessel. Special inducements offered to Portuguese Traders, in a variety of Fresh Goods especially suited to their wants. HIGHEST CASH PRICE PAID FOR Dry and Green Hides and Goat Skins LARGEST ASSORTED STOCK OF GROCERIES ON THE ISLAND. aTicl (tRAIN . HAY 42 ami 44 Queen Street, Honolulu. JOT-ITsT NOTT, f.'!C? Myij----.-- y.tt'lv Stoves, Ranges and Housekeeping GvOds. Plumbing, Tin, Copper and Sheet Iron Work NOW BEADY. 1887.1 Fourth Year of Publication. 1887 TETE HONOLULU ALMANAC AND DIRECTORY! For tho Year of Our Lord 1887, Containing an Astronomical, Civil & Ecclesiastic'l Calend'r FOR THE YEAR AN. Official and Business Directory of Honolulu TOGETHER WITH Full Statistical and General Information RJSI-ATING TO THE HAW'N ISLANDS, Great pains and expense have been gone to by the Publishers to make this Almanac and Directory the mst useful and comprehen sive work of the kind ever published in the Hawaiian Kingdom. It will be found invaluable to men of business, travelers and tourists and is guaranteed a wide circulation at Home and in Foreign Counl tries. Its Court and Official Calendar carefully corrected to the latest moment. Articles of special value to the Islands have oeen prepared by ex pert writers, which are well calculated to beget great interest in their condition an I prospect abroad. Send in your orders for copies early.