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PACIFIC COMMERCIAL ADVERTISES, MARCH 29, 1888.
A CHINESE RESTAURANT. THE EXPERIENCES OF A HUNGRY " AND INQUISITIVE REPORTER. No Oriental Luxuries in Sight A Mys terious Compound Brought to the Table. Two Slices of "Fe-sick-re-aut-i." A Pot of Delicious Tea. In - Mulberry street, near Canal, amid the noise, bustle and confusion of the busy mer chants of the "Bend," there is a quiet and un pretentious dining room. It is presided over at all hours of the day and night by "Wan Bing Foo, and the business is said to be a thriving one. Pictures of turtles, pigs, sharks and several kinds of hobgoblins are pasted on the windows and their virtues, as articles of diet, are set forth in choice spider scratches upon pieces of brown paper. The moat attractive sign, however, reads as fol lows: "A good diner 8 cents." This was sufficient to lure a reporter into the place recently. There were none of the Oriental luxuries in sight. On the walls were a few pictures of flowers, highly colored, and a certificate that Mr. Foo, or some of his friends, had attended a Sunday school. The tables were of pine and partially covered by a ragged material that looked like a cross be tween a dishcloth and a mop. Mr. Foo was engaged in leveling the sole of his shoe with a hatchet when the reporter entered, and, after glancing up quickly, went on with his work. The reporter dropied carelessly upon a stool and waited. How long the wait would, have lasted will never be known. There was a sudden ir? rruption. A pungent odor stole in from the back yard, where something was being cooled. It was too powerful for any nose save a highly cultivated one. The re porter tried to keep it back, but out it came a double barreled sneeze that set every thing to jingling. It struck Mr. Foo amidship. The hatchet fell on his foot and the shoe dropped into something which looked like a keg of mo lasses. There was blood in his eye and there might have been a tragedy, had not the innocent cause of all the commotion put on a hungry look and touched his sunken abdo men with his finger. THE BEST IX THE HOUSE. Mr. Foo smiled so that no one could tell whether he was weeping, wailing or gnashing his teeth as he said: "Wing Foo ah alle go to kiting see bah." "All right, Mr. Foo. I'll forgive you. Now just set up the best in the house, up to the eight cent limit, and all will be well." Mr. Foo jumped away with the air of a man who did not understand a word that had been spoken. He kept out of sight for twenty minutes and then appeared with a large bowl of something steaming hot, which he set on the table and then took a seat close by. He began to whistle a peculiar call and the yel lowish soup moved restlessly in the bowl. A spoon came with the stuff. It required some courage to take a mouthful, and it would take a team of horses and a derrick to get one up to the rack for a second trial. A mixture Df lard, mustard, salt and bilge water may tempt a lagging appetite, but it is just a lit tle surprising to the stomach of a man not thoroughly used to the customs of the Flow ry Kingdom. Mr. Foo took the mysterious sompound away and came back in a little while with a large platter and a couple of small dishes. There were two slices of some brown material on the platter. Mr. Foo ad mitted that it was "pe-sick-re-aut-i." There Is no doubt that it was the genuine goods. It tasted so. One of the slices was filled with imall fish bones, and the other was a dainty morsel which might have been taken, with a little imagination, to be a bit of fried mum my. There were also some beans, cabbage and rice. Mr. Foo evidently runs his place on the touch not and taste not plan. Well It keeps one from being poisoned. A nibble here and there demonstrated that an ash can rould be a safe place for Mr. Foo's "layout." It made it easy to understand why a young Chinaman wears wrinkles and appears like in old man while yet in his teens. A SMALL POT OP TEA. Mr. Foo removed the dishes. He wanted to bring some more of the menu, but the re porter indicated that he would prefer a drink 3f some kind. After a long delay Mr. Foo appeared with a tray bearing a small pot of tea and a cup that resembled a toy. The tea tvas a revelation. It was aromatic and the flavor delicious, and if there had not been a imall family of Croton bugs found in the tea pot, after the tea had been swallowed, it would have been thoroughly enjoyable. This rided the dinner. "Well, MrJ Foo, how much do I owe you?" the reporter asked, simply as a matter of form. The remark brought back Mr. Foo's cheer fulness, and he cam near uncovering his ipine with longitudinal extension of his smile. He showed for the first time that his English had not been entirely neglected. After a few marks with a brush, through the wreath of rmiles came the words soft and low: "Sixta-nine-a cen," "Sixty-nine cents! Go to, Mr. Foo. You are ;razy! Why your sign out there says that you give a good dinn- for eight cents. What do you mean by thisTxtortion?" "Ah! Excus-a-me. Eight cen for poor China man. Melican man richee, no eatee like Chinaman. He eatee blenty soup, beef and good tings. Muchee eatee, muchee pay. Belly jood. Sixty-nin-a cen cheapee. Chinaman losee money all time. Belly poor." The bill was paid, and the visitor came iway with the experience and conviction that Mr. Foo had mistakei his calling. He ought to double up with Hungry Joe and do the "hand shaking" act. New York Tribune. A Cure for Wakefulness. Many a middle aged man who is in the habit of going to bed after eating a hearty meal is puzzled when he finds himself waking up in the small hours of the morning, day after day, and unable to get to sleep again. He knows that this wakefulness is unnatural, but it never occurs to him that it is due to his stomach. It took me several years, dur ing which I lost months of sleep, to find this out, but now I know it. If the victim of in Bomnia whom I have described will rise from his bed when he wakes and drink a pint of water he will go to sleep again immediately, and will not wake again until his ordinary hour. Maj. E. S. Foster in Globe-Democrat. Apotheosis of Paper. We knew it would come. The announce ment has been made that a paper coffin has been invented and put upon the market. A man may now build his house of paper, eat his dinner from paper plates, wipe his face with a paper handkerchief, buy his wife a paper piano and go to his grave in a paper coffin. The coffin may be paid for with a piece of paper and the death published on another piece. There are few things more useful than paper. Philadelphia Record. The Smoked Herring Monopoly. The island of Grand Manan is the home of cut and dried monopoly that would be hard to match. Grand Manan puts up annually more than 1,000,000 boxes of smoked herring, and controls the market. Boston is the paradise of newspaper women. GOING Ifovlng about the quiet ways. Sitting beside the hearth. Joining as best she can and may In the careless household mirth. . Yet always through the haunted nighty As through the restless day, Feeling another hour is passed Of the time that flies away. The last frail strand of the cable Is parting slow and sure, That never again to the harbor side My bonnie boat will moor. My bonnie boat, that may come again, God temper the wave and windl To gladden sad eyes and yearning hearts. That now are left behind May come again, but not to lie Safe by the old home shore; The anchor of youth is almost weighed; They will cast it never more. And it's oh. and it's oh, for the sinking dread. It's oh for the climbing sorrow. As ever the cruel, creeping night Brings on the weary morrow 1 Love that is true must hush itself, Nor pain by its useless cry, For the young must go, and the old must bear, And time goes by, goes by. All the Year Round. IF WAR BREAKS OUT. Probable Effects of a European War OJ Advantage to America. If war breaks out it is inevitable that there must be a great fall. Russia by a great wai would be almost inevitably rendered bank rupt, and a repudiation by Russia would in flict terrible losses, not only upon the Russian people, but upon German and other investors. Then, again, the outbreak of a great wai would not improbably cause a panic upon the Berlin bourse, and possibly also upon that of Paris. Lastly, it is to be recollected thai were a great war to break out the govern ments engaged in it would be obliged to issue very large loans. If the war lasted long other loans would be issued in quick succes sion, the national debts of Europe would in crease enormously, and thus one of the greal causes tending to raise prices would tx stopped; the supply of securities would be immensely augmented all at once, while tht growth of wealth would be checked. Wealth, of course, would continue to gro in the countries that avoided war, and alsc in the couutries which themselves were not made the theatre of war, and which had nol too large a proportion of their male popula tion in the field; but along with this growth of wealth there would also be a great de struction of weaRh. At the very time, there fore, in which securities were being most rap idly manufactured there would be a greal check to the growJh of wealth. There must, inevitably, therefore, be a fall in prices; and if the war were protracted the fall might be considerable, and the recovery would be long delayed. There might be an exception in favor ol American railroad securities. Even in then: there would be a fall at first, but probablj they would recover quickly first, because a great war in Europe would increase the de mand for American produce; secondly, be cause there would be tendency to send capita out of the belligerent countries to the neutral countries for safe keeping and for invest ment; and, thirdly, because the populatior and wealth of the United States themselves growing so rapidly that the home demand f oi securities is vast, while American investors rarely invest their money in securities ol foreign governments, and they would not be likely to be tempted at a time when those foreign governments were exhausting their resources and ruining their prospects in a ter rible way. London Saturday Review. Charity Entertainment In Paris. Everything that brains and ingenuity car suggest is being done to raise money for the sufferers from the floods in the south. Be sides establishing headquarters in all direc tions where voluntary subscriptions are re ceived, nothing is left undone in the way oi devising forms of entertainment for their benefit. Every taste is considered, and it ii safe to predict that before the clever people interested in the fund have finished every one who has money to contribute will have giver in his mite. The entertainment par excellence thus fai for this fashionable charity is the grandei fetes du soleil a conglomeration of attrac tions brought together under the roof of tht Palais de 1' Industrie, and supposed to repre sent the various occupations and amusements of the people of the south. Artistic or cele brated buildings and structures of the south are here duplicated. A romantic mill here, a famous bridge or a picturesque wall there: chalets and cottages scattered about give a pleasing effect, and at the same time serve as booths or side shows where the small change of the visitor easily finds its way. Various orchestras take turns at one end or the other of the immense hall; a mixed chorus is sing ing in one corner the Pilgrim's March from "Tannhauser," while in another a band ol children is shouting a familiar hymn. Mme. Theo sings one of her wicked songs from one stage while a long haired tenoi pours out some sentimental gush from an other; a Punch and Judy amuses the children -a lightning crayon artist pleases the vain by presenting them with likenesses of them selves; a snake charmer and an armless and legless man attract those of morbid tastes; male and female wrestlers, trick horses, dogs and goats, a skillful dagger thrower, tum blers and performers generally give exhibi tions on an open platform ; views of the de vastations caused by the flood are shown. The dance of the Tarascon is given by alleged men and women of the south; in fact, every form of amusement that can please old and young, Frenchman and stranger, plebeian and aristocrat, is presented at the fetes du soleil. Paris Cor. New York Star. Mistaken Ideas of the Editor. Some people seem to think that the editor of a country newspaper ought to be a sort oi clown, give open air performances in the streets, tell long yarns, say smart things, laugh at all he sees and hears, and be a sort of center figure everywhere he goes. In other words, he must be a regular bootlicker, think just like you do, nod sanction to ali you say, beg everyone he meets to take his little paper, play the hypocrite in a thousand ways and live on wind. Baxley (Ga.) Banner. o You? Miss Chillingly So, Mr. Robinson," fyoa kept a diary for four whole years and then gave it up! Mr. Featherstone Robinson Ya-as. And it's weally quite interwesting to look it ovah and see what a fool I was then. Miss Chillingly It's a pity you gave it up. Only think! In ten years you might read it over and see what a fool you are now! -Life. One Minute's Prayer. It is related that Governor Bob Taylor, of Tennessee, once faced a man who pointed a revolver at him and accorded him the privi lege of one minute's prayer. The agile gov ernor reduced his petition to the space of half a minute and spent the other thirty seconds in dodging a bullet and wresting the revolver from the intimidator. He then occupied the space of several minutes in thrashing his as sailant at leisure. Cleveland Leader A Remarkable Case. Under the above heading the "Don caster Reporter" of July 6, 18S7, pub lishes the following in its editorial col umns : Our readers may recall the circumstance of a young clerk, named Arthur. Richoid, falling insensible on the Wrheatley Lane in this town some time ago, and being picked up, as he continued perfectly helpless, and taken in a cab by two gentlemen to the office of F. W. Fisher, Esq., the solicitor who employed him. On restoring him to consciousness it was ascertained that he was afflicted with what seemed to be an incurable disease. When he was able to speak he said he had been to his dinner and was on his way back to his work, when suddenly his head was in a whirl and he fell in the street like a man who is knocked down. On coming to his senses in the solicitor's office he thought what this might mean, and feared he was going to have a fit of illness, which we all know is a very dreadful thing for a poor man with a family to care for. With this in his mind he at once sought the best medical advice, telling the doctors how he had been attacked. They ques tioned him, and found that his present malady was exhaustion of the nervous system, resulting from general debility, indigestion and dyspepsia of a chronic nature. This in turn had been caused by confinement to his desk and grief at the loss of dear friends by death. The coming on of this strange disease, as described by Mr. Richoid, must be of interest both to sick and well. He had noticed for several years previously, in fact, that his eyes and face began to have a yellow look; there was a sticky and unpleasant slime on the gums and teeth in the morning; the tongue coated ; and the bowels so bound and costive that it induced that most pain ful and troublesome ailment the piles. He says there was some pain in the sides and back and a sense of fullness on the right s-ide, as though the liver were enlarg ing, which proved to be a terrible fact. The secretions from the kidneys would be scanty and high-coloredi with a kind of gritty or sandy deposit after standing. These things had troubled Mr. Richoid a long time, and after his fall in the street he clearly perceived that his fit of giddi ness was nothing more than a sign of the steady and deadly advance of the com plaint, which began in indigestion and dys pepsia. His story of how he went from one physician to another in search of a cure that his wife and little ones might not come to want is very pathetic and touching. Finallj' he became too ill to keep his situation and had to give it up. This was a sad calamity. He was appalled to think of how he should be able to live. But God raised up friends who helped to keep the wolf from the door. He then went to the seaside at Walton on-the-Naze, but neither the change, nor the physicians who treated him there, did any good. All being without avail he visited London, with a sort of vague hope that some ad vantage might happen to him in the me tropolis. This was in October, 1885. How wonderful, indeed, are the ways of Providence, which dashes down our high est hopes and then helps us when we least expect it. While in London he stated his condition to a friend, who strongly advised him to try a medicine which he called Mother Seigel's Curative Syrup, saying it was gen uine and honest, and often cured when everthing else had failed. He bought a bottle of a chemist in Pimlico, and began using it according to the directions. He did this without any faith or hope, and the public . may, therefore, judge of his surprise and pleasure when after taking a few doses he felt great relief. He could eat better, his food distressed him less, the symptoms we have named abated, the dark spots which had floated before his eyes like smuts of soot gradually disap peared, and his strength increased. Before this time his knees would knock together whenever he tried to walk. So encouraged was he now that he kept on using Mother Seigel's Curative Syrup until it ended in completely curing him. In speaking of his wonderful recovery Mr. Richoid says it made him think of poor Robinson Crusoe, and his deliver ance from captivity on his island in the sea; and added, "But for Mother Seigel's Curative Syrup the grass would now be growing over my grave." Our readers can rest assured of the strict truth of all the statements in this most re markable case, as Mr. Richoid (now resid ing at Swiss Cottage, Walton-on-the-Naze,) belongs to one of the oldest and most re spected families in the beautiful village of Long Melford, Suffolk, and his personal character is attested by so high an au thority as the Rev. C. J. Martyn. We have deemed the case of such importance to the public as to justify us in giving this short account of it in our columns. Bone Meal! Bone Meal BONE MEAL (WARRANTED PURE), FROM the Manufactory of BUCK fe ASHLAND Ban Francisco. Orders foi this Celebrated Fertilizer wttl now be received by the undersigned. Planters are requested to send their orders in early, so that there will be no delay in having them tilled in ime for the planting season. Also, Super- Phosphates, A Fine Fertilizer for Cane. Ordersrecelved in quantities to suit. 2l-wt WM. O.IRWIN fc CO., Agents. S. C. ALLEN, M. P ROBINSON. ALLEN & ROBINSON, At itomnrsojrs wharf, dealers IN LUMBER and all kinds of BUILDINO MATERIALS, Paints, Oils, Nails, etc., etc. . AGENT FOB 8CHOONF.E8 KULAMANU. KEKAULUOAI, MARY ELLEN, PATJAHI, FAIRY QUEEN UTLAMA LEAHI, Honolulu, Hawaiian I B Lands. 80-wti METROPOLITAN Meat Company, 81 KINO STREET, G. J. WALLER, 'MANAGER. B WHOLESALE AND RETAIL UTCHEES AND Navy Contractors. MOTHER SEIGEL'S OPERATING PILLS FOR CONSTIPATION Sluggish Liver, ETC., ETC., ETC., UNLIKE many kinds of cathartic medicines, do not make you feel worse before you feel better. Their op eration is gentle, but thorough, and unattended with disagreeable effects, such as nausea, griping pains, etc. Seigel's Operating Pills are the best family physic that has ever been discov ered. They cleanse the bowels from all irritating substances, and leave them in a healthy condition. The best remedy extant for the bane of our lives constipation and sluggish liver. These Pills prevent fevers and all kinds of sickness, by removing all pois onous matter from the bowels. They operate briskly, yet mildly, without any pain. If you take a severe cold, and are threatened with a fever, with pains in the head, back, and limbs, one or two doses of Seigel's Operating Pills will break up the cold and prevent the fever. A coated tongue, with a brackish taste, is caused by foul matter in the stomach. A few doses of Seigel's Operating Pills will cleanse the stom ach, remove tlje bad taste, and restore the appetite, and with it bring good health. Oftentimes disease, or partially de cayed food, causes sickness, nausea and diarrhoea. If the bowels are cleansed from this impurity with a dose of Seigel's Operating Pills, these disa greeable effects will vanish, and good health will result. Seigel's Operating Pills prevent ill-effects from excess in eating or drink ing. A good dose at bedtime renders a person fit for business in the morning. These Pills, being sugar-coated, are pleasant to take. The disagreeable taste common to most pills is obviated. For Sale by all Chemists, Druggists and Medicine Vendors. PROPRIETORS: A. J. WHTR jMrren LONDON, ENG. S. E0TH, MERCHANT TA1XOR, 83 Fort St., Honolulu, II. I. 84-wtl HOLLISTER & CO., Druggists and Tobacconists, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. 59 Nauanu Street, and cor. 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