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THE PACIFIC COMMERCIAL ADVERTISER, HONOLULU, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 1909. 2 We beg to announce to the Smokers of Honolulu and the Islands that we have just taken from the Custom House a large quantity of the best MANILA CIGARS. There has been no " take-what-you-can-get " business in the selection of these cigars ; they have been bought where the best only is manufactured. If you .were to personally make your pur chases, you would not be better pleased than you will be when you smoke one of these. OF THE n-ii, Mil, n - "1 T 1 T ! V H HOTEL AND FORT. .k k k k k k k k k "I t - xf xOs . . FITZPATRICK BROS. Leading Cigar Dealers ft 1 HOTEL AND FORT. FOET BELOW KING. Telephone 376. FOET AND HOTEL. Telephone 495. WE WAIT YOUR COMMANDS. THE GOODS ABE TO YOUR. LIKING. 5 OBDEE FEOM EITHER STOEE. 1 i H H The manufacturing and sales department of Walter -EL Olsen, in Manila, has the patron age of the leading Americans in that city. His goods are sold throughout the Archi pelago, and are in demand by all of the members of the Army and Navy and Commercial j m mi J - rC L! n 1 r 1. 1 r r . ? C1UDS. ine goous we oner oic iium ma aiuta uuu uc a.LKuiuiciy iresn ana iree irom im purities of any kind. FOET BELOW KING. k k k k k k k k k " - - - ' " f. fi pi v ri- pr rr f r pr mr 0r0rwr0r,TTF'fSVt RE PAIRING QUICK WORK NEAT WORK. We repair by the same kind of machinery used in up-to-date factories to make shoes, and we do the work better, quicker and cheaper than is possible by hand. yWe can do ordinary repairing while you wait. Men's soles and heels $1.25; women's $1.00. Meg 1 I 1 1 I McCANDLESS BUILDING, KING AND BETHEL. The oldest and best school. 1 Instruc tion by mail adapted to everyone. Keeognized by courts and educators. Prepares for practice. 'Will better your conditions and prospects in business. Monthly payment plan. : Address BROWN & LYON CO, LTD., Agents, Young Building, Honolulu. l.v- .. ; AUTOMOBILE TOPS W. W. WRIGHT CO., LTD. BUILT TO FIT AND WEAE BY MEN THAT KNOW HOW. King and South Sts. HAWAII 1 AND ITS VOEGANOES! EMU K585!TOJ)'ljUMHHpWHil.-M 9 tT- ; in JIT I pnmii&atSlSKi "1 u. i?- k .i-fc.'9r 1 'CHARLES KHITCHCOCK.LLD.;i Published and For Sale by THE HAWAIIAN GAZETTE COMPANY, LIMITED. 65 King Street, and sold in book shops generally. . t. .- Postage, 25c extra. ."EAR FADED CLOTHES? . ! 'j Yit Jffet for the F. Thomas Dveing Works San Frs&sisco. " ' , .iv.r&'G crv'.;a:n3 and dyers. -I : j.A UK !- ;Y. -J. Abadie. Prop. Phone 1491 CHINESE HAVE TfflJpBLES Servants in the Flowery Land Leave Much to Be Desired. By Thornwell Haynes. Every Chinese servant in China is gifted with an abnormal instinct to make the most of misunderstandings, and they find them as readily as bees do sugar barrels. The history of Chi nese servants with foreign masters is similar to that of foreign diplomacy with China a history mostly of unsuc cessful attempts to explain matters which have been misunderstood. Yoar cook i3 told to have fish for breakfast. He prepares fried chicken, anci when spoken to says he is sorry, that he did I not understand. Your "boy" is told to 1 bring $1 worth of stamps from the ' postoffice; he returns with ones or fives because he did not understand. In this respect, at least, he did not show the denseness of the newly arrived mission ary who, when buying stamps, was ask ed bv the clerk, "What denomina tion 1" "Oh, I'm Baptist," she re plied, "but I don't see what that has to do with it." You tell your gardener to water your palms daily. He fails to obey, and when : reprimanded, says: "Oh, evlee day I rio understand."- Dis obeyed orders are explained by, "Oh, me velle sollee, me understand so-and-so." "No; but I did not say so-and-so." '"Well, me understand you say so-and-so." And then comes the look which says to you as plain as words: "You must be very foolish if you think it is possible for me to do what you wanted me to do without my under standing what it was!" The house coolie is told to prepare, a cold bath. When you enter your bathroom it is thick with the vapor of hot water. "Me no understand," he informs you, with a sickly, sorry grin sickly and sorry not because of his failure to com prehend, but because of your disgust ingly stupid inabilitv to" make yourself understood. The lack of comprehension is not so much the fault of Pidgin-English, which pis so often employed between foreign ers and their servants, as it ;s an innate carelessness or incapacity to dis tinguish. The principal thing yon want ed for your bath, of course, was water; whether hot or cold to him means lit tle. You wanted stamps; their denomi nation makes no difference. Something is to be fried for breakfast; fish or chicken or ham all these are hardly distinctions, if so thev are without a difference anything will do, so it is fried. To him it is "cha'o-pa-doj" which means "about the same." and that is quite sufficient. Pidgin-English occasions no more misunderstanding than does the Chinese language itself, if, indeed, as much. And this is no wonder, when it is understood that Chi nese nouns and pronouns are indeclin able, being devoid of case and gender, their adjectives have no degree of com parison, and verbs are undefined by voice, mood, tense, number or person a language void of "variation or sha dow of turning." "When you shall have done this work I will pay you." is expressed in Chinese by, "Do work, get money," or more often, if possible, considering Chinese topsyturveydom, "Get money, no work." Pronouns have the definiteness of the witness' testimony in an English court: "He'd a stick, and he'd a stick, and he w'acked he. and he w'aeked he, and if he'd w'acked he as hard as he w'acked he, he'd a killed he, and not he he." But Pidgin-English has its humor, and no one expresses it better than the Chinese servant. A cook, not know ing if his master wanted a wild or tame duck for dinner, aske.i: "Master wanchee one piecee dnek flvee-flvep or walkee-walkee?" Everything is'desig ! nated by "piecee," whether it be a j tooth pick or a carriage. "How manv piecee egg master wanchee for chow! (eat) I" An amah (nurse) applvingj for service, asked: "Missussy have' got how many piecee babv!" The ! Irish brogue in the Xorth" and the j negro dialect in the South are not more ! interesting. The "boy" who met the! Methodist -bishop at the door returned j and imparted the information as fol-; lows: ".Number one. top-side joss pidgin man have got," by which he meant "I have got at the door the chief God-business man." The audac ity of Bridget, who makes herself at home by occupying the parlor and play ing tne piano is quite outdone by the Chinese "boy" whose master took un to him a wife. His indignity at be ing presided over by his new mistress could not be long suppressed, and with in a week he presented himself be fore his master with the complaint: "Suppose this missussy stop this side, me no can stop. More better you send off this missussy." One can somewhat imagine the vagaries of this mongrel talk, or wonderful gibberish, by the translation of Hamlet's soliloquy, which would begin: "Can do, no can do, how fashion." Than the Chinese certainly no ser vant is more polite. The abruptness of a simple "yes" or "no" is never employed. ' Is your master at home ? ' ' is answered by "Hab got" or "No hab got." When asked if he under stands the answer-is: "Me sabe" or "Me no sabe." Often his replies are put down to intellectual turbidity when they are merely given it accord ance with hisCode of politeness. It is rude to answer a question direct. Asked where he has been he looks at you stolidly for a moment, and, as though to be absolutely sure you were not referring to ajoy other one of the earth's fifteen hundred and ninety nine million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety nine inhabitants, he asks. "Me?" You smile and answer, "Yes, you." Still to soften the abruptness of a direct answer he says, ' ' Where been t " " Yes, where been f " Then with further exaggerated and exasper ating softness he gazes into vacancy as if in doubt as to whether he has caught ' your exact meaning, and try ing seemingly with all the intentness of his nature to "break it gently," he asks: "Me, where been!" "Yes, you; where have you been." And then, the code of etiquette fully satisfied, he replies: "Me been talkee mafoo," which means that he has been holding a conversation with the coachman. Such answers are greatly in contrast with that of the old Southern "mam my" cook, who, when asked if she had polished the stove, blurted out, "No, I haint; and I haint agwine ter shine it, neither." When serving at table "John China man" will always pass everything, be it the smallness of a cup of tea, with both hands, because the use of one would not only evince his carelessness, but betray an unwillingness to take the little trouble necessary, thus mak ing a breach of etiquette. When wish ing to leave your service he does not come to tell you so. He sends a friend, a "go-between." This friend will in form you that "Lohan, he gotchee one piecee aunt she vellee sick Lo han wanchee go see come back two, three day." Now, both the "go-between" and Lohan may know there is no aunt sick, but it is needless to try circumvention Lohan is going, and you agree. Then the friend still looks at you expectantly, and if you remain quiet he will, after slowly shifting from one foot to the other, finally ap proach you softly and cautiously whisper, as though it. fairly tore his soul apart and gave him the tortures "of the damned to say it, "Lohan wan chee" money." All of this simply means that for sortie reason which you will never learn Lohan has quit and wants his pay. ' Alongside of this all the "parrion nez mois" of a Freneh maid appears rude, and as for Bridget, she would simply throw down her broom violent ly in the midst of her scouring, loosen her tucked-up skirts with a jerk, kick over a bucket of water and blurt out savagely. "If there's enny more scour ing an' shure it'll not be Bridget as will be at the doin' of it! Pay me and I'll bi for the laving of ye!" One of the disagreeable character istics of the Chinese servant is his complete disregard of time. "Tomor row" to him does not necessarily mean the next day, but some indefinite time which often, like St. Patrick's "to morrow," never comes. The Chinese day is divided into twelve periods, the names of which do not indicate a point of time, as with us, but cover all the space between the preceding and following names. Thus, two of our hours equalling one of his, twelve, half past twelve, or a quarter to two, would all to him be simply twelve o'clock. The disagreeable "result of such reckoning can be understood in the ca-;e where you have guests for d'nner and order it ready at 8 o'clock. To the cook it would mean any time before 10. The butcher who on Tues day or Wednesday delivers meat order ed for Monday has no idea he is be hindhand, and in case of remonstrance puts on an expressionless smile that leaves you wondering if after all it is not wholly your own fault. Our im patience doubtless is often looked up on by them with as great a degree BLOM Cleai Sets the pace for bargains ranee Conti FOR ONE WEEK Opposite Catholic Church. nues i The man who adver tises in the dull season will soon learn that there is no dull season for him. Advertising is a business tonic. Advertising Department Hawaiian Gazette Co., Ltd. Phore 88. ! i "Ufflflto" Make them known iff (111 (0 through the classi fied column. J of horror as their lack of promptness is considered shameful by us. Where no timepieces exist time is reckoned by the sun as being so many "flag staffs" high, and, be the, day cloudy, the dilation or contraction of a cat's eyes is sufficiently accurate for all ordinary purposes. Another disagreeable strain in the character of the Chinese servant is his proneness to appropriate your prop erty, but, strange to say, the guilty one proceeds in sueh a "manner that, while to him his act is highly advan tageous, to you it is of no disadvan tage, or. at least, you are ignorant of any loss, which, in the end, amounts to about the same. Certainly you do not worry and grow angry concerning that of which you know nothing. He has a great love of linen, and occa sionally drops a towel or handkerchief behind a picture or in some unthought of place, whence, after a long time, if not missed, he rescues it, or, if its loss is noted, he finds the article in jour absence and restores it. G, BREWER & GO., Ltd. SUGAE FACTORS AND COMMISSION" MERCHANTS. LIST OF OFFICERS. E. F.' Bishop, president. George II. Robertson, Manager. W. W. Xorth, Treasurer and Secretary. George R. Carter, Auditor. P. C. Jones, R. A. Cooke, J. E. Gait, Directors. Electrical Work BELLS. PRIVATE TELEPHONES, CHANGES IN LIGHT WIRING. UNION ELEQTRIG GO. HARRISON BLOCK.