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Brookville American. (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, May 07, 1858, Image 1

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In Haile's Block, third floor, over tho Bank.
. ; ; uy w. ii. fostisu.
Tb "Asksica" will bm Umod on FrlJy,of ttch
tck, od mniloJ to subscribers at $1,40 per sonuin,
jjbl ia dvaoco,
copy will be furrtshsd rrtls, to any person or
persons obtaining tea sabsoribors.
JO" Persons tending Itemi of news from tbe
vinous portion! of tbe count jr will be entitled to
ar tbnuk. -
EcDot0 ot tfjc Srntttffttl.
From the Home Journal
t eroauK P. MORRIS
I'm tbe Iron Kccdle-Woinaa f
Wrought of sterner stuff tban clay
And, unlike the drudi human,
Nerer weary nlgbt nor day
Nerer shedding tears of eorTow,
Nsvor mourning friends uotru,
Never caring for tbe morrow,
Never begging work to do.
Poverty bring! no dUatterf
Morrlly I glide along,
for no thankless, sordid matter,
Errr seeks to do me wrong i
JS'o extortioners oppress me,
No Insulting word I tlrtsd
I're no children to distress me
With anceaing cries fur brand.
I'm of hardy form and featnre,
For endurance framd aright
I'm not pale misfortune's creature,
I)om'd life's battle bere to (Ight I
Mine's long of cheerful measure,
And no tndor-current flow
' To destroy the throb of pleasure
Which the poor so seldom know.
Ia tbe ball I bold my station,
With the wealthy ones of earth,
Who commend me to the nation
For economy and worth,
While unpaid the tVnikU labor,
In the ttU-euamber lone,
Where the smile of Mend or neighbor
Never fur a moment shone.
Jlr creation li a blessing
To tbe Indigent secured,
BanUhlug tbe cares distressing
Which so man j have endured i a
Mine are sinews superhuman,
Ribs of oak and nvrvea of steel
I'm the Iron Neodlo-Woutin
Born to toil aud not to fool.
c lect JH foe c U a n n. J
DV T. S. AUTH fit.
Impossible !' exclaimed Morris lies
ton, starling up from hi desk. 'Impos
sible I' ho repeated, his faco growing
ry pa:o.
'It in too
too true.' wni tlio answer mado
by n gentleman, who h:tI como hurried
ly into tho store of Mr. Ileston. ! have
tho news from it reliable source.'
Failed !'
Yes ; and fail od badly. It h allowed
that not ton cents on tho dollar can pos
sibly bo realized. I hopo hodoes'nt owe
you much.'
Not n groat deal !' wan answered eva
sively, thoitfjli with ÜI-coik-ouIimI jinxi
tj5 yet, enough to nwcop away nearly
all my profits on iho year's bttainuft.e,
nhould tlio lu!i bo t'tnl. It bo on 3our
To a laru amount ?'
Thrco Ihottsn nl tiollarH.'
I thoul.t bo win Hound to tho coro.
Tho rcriorlH in regard to hin standing
have alwayn bton A Xo. I.'
IIo ha boon enaod, it in aid, in
Mino btnd Kpoculutioiiü, w hielt bavo
turned out iliuitrou-dy. Tho old story
ol tho Jot; and tho nbadow. Well, we
tnnt o.xpoct Mich tiling, md moot them
with ti mueh ptiiloHophy ai can boMim
monud to our uid. (iood morning.'
And tho man went out ni hurritvlly ts
bocomo in. A ho loft tho htoro Mr.
ilcftton turned with udiftturbod manner
to hit lodger, nnd threw over tho loaves
norrotuly. Pausing at an account, he
footed it up rapidly. Tho penciled lli
uros allowed tho um of four thoiiiuud
eight hundred and ixty-onc dollitrn.
Tticr vn crodit by biil-t receivable, of
four thousand doll ant; threo thousand
und flvo hundred of which had boon
discounted, and would maturo in Ivm
than a month.
MorrU Helton wai a yonnj? man who
bad been, in bunlnoNi only about two
yearn. Tho cupitnl on which liocm
inonccd wtii Iohh than two thousand dob
lam; and tho whole oi (hit ho had li
ved from hin milarv. Ho wan activo,
induitriou and intelligent, and on the
road, many predicted to fortune. Hut
in quo thill!? bo wan ImlUereet. And
. i l. iii . a i
mat wan in nemnj too largely to a ntn
glo customer. No wonder that ho start
ed and turned pale on hearing bud nowa
from thin customer; for Iohi hero wan
equivalent to ruin. Already tho rela
tion between receipt and payment wan
no clone, that any crloun detlcieney in
tho one, or lncrvaio in the other, would
provo ft nourco of cmbarrartsment; and
to have between thrco and four discount
ed billi como back upon him in four
weekn, would certainly cutno him to
atop payment.
ho need not plcturo tho troubled
eventn which followetl, too hiirely, the
confirmed intelligence of tlio failure ot
this distant customer. Jlcnton wuh too
weak to bear tho prcssuro thatenmo up.
on him, and no ho wuh forced to ive
way. A few of bin creditor who had
faith in bin integrity and ab'liiy, would
cheerfully havo reduced tneir claims
nnd given him ample lime on tho hub
nnco ; but tho majority, who bad no per
aonal interest in him," and looked only
to thcmnelvecs, acted upon tho common
ndaijo current in such casen, that the
flrxt los i the best loss,' and nwcpt
evt'rytiHii'X, leaving the unhappy, mur
tißedand dispirited 3'oun man without
a dollar with which to bein the world
again nay, even worse than this, lenv
in bun Hoverul tliouhiind dollars in
debt; for, m throwing bin 8tock into
auction, and forcing collections, fccrioun
losses were inevitable.
Troubles rarely como nlono. Anoth
cr, and to our voting friend, a Hadder
disaster followed. Ho was under en
gagement of marriage, and thotimool
itn eclcbtation hud boon fixed. From
tho moment rumor Oiled tho air with ro-
port of bin heavy lo?v?! and danger of
Ay Ay
VOL. 1
failure, lie thought ho could perccivo a
change in tho manner oihm bethrothed
IIo tried to think thin only imagination;
but tho chango seemed to grow daily
moroand more apparent. At last it bo
camo necessary lor him to tell her of
his misfurtuno and tbo blight whicl
had como over Iiis worldly prospects.
IIo still bud faith in her, htill tried to
deceivo himself notwithstanding tho ro
cent chango in her mannor.
Sho listened with a coldness of cxto-
rior that chilled him to tho heart; then
gavo a few tears; and then eat in irres
ponsivti ilenco.
Stung by this apparent want of nym
path, and bewildered by tho con vie
tion that a new and heavier misfortune
wan about to cloud tho ely of bin life,
tho young man btaried up, and stand
ing boforo tho cmbarrafsed girl, caid,
with much agitation of tono und man
iter .
'Agnes I how am I to understand this?
Aroyou, too, only a summer friend T
Scarcely had tho words passed from
his lips, cro tho started to her feet, and
glided without a word of answer from
tho room.
For tho maco of nearly ten minutes.
Ilcpton walked the floor of tbo untirt
ment in which ho hud been left utone,
every moment expecting the return of
hin betrothed, but elio camo not back.
ttho cud of thli' tnjriod. ho led the
house in so wretched a state of mind,
that for a brief season, bo meditated
Holf-dctruclion. iiut wiser
restored him to better feelings.
Unco moro bo called to isco tho yet
enthroned idol of bis affections ; but
sho refused to meet him, and tho idol
was cast down and broken into frag
moats at his feet. It wan but gilded
clay, and not fino gold as ho had vainly
Tho eltoet of this double misfurtuno
was altogether paraluing. llcston fell
into a tato of gloomy inacticn. Friends
uriredhim to louk tho world bruvcly in
tho lacoonco more, and begin again,
with a htout heart, tho battle of life.
Jiut ho answered
'No I havo been mocked once. Lot
that sulliee. I will not run the risk ot
another such disaster.'
She is unworthy of a thought.,' Kaid
one, alluding' to tho maiden who bad
proved so meanly false to her vows,
'and a thousand times unworthy of re
gret by ro true a heart as yours.
'It is easy to say alt that,' was an
swered in a tone ol oittertus. 'lutt
tho heart that once loves, loves on for
everloves, cren though tho object ol
aliection be proved unworthy.'
Mere- poets talk ! Haul tho mend.
True love is only based on a perception
of qualities. You never truly loved this
girl; and time will prove my woids.
Let her imago pass from your thoughts
like breath from the laco of u mirror.
Fling her memory to tho winds.,
Lotio ellect bail all tins upun the
mind ol llesion. lie hehl lumpen aloot
IVuiii friends, and remained l'r nearly
a yearu kino ol soeiul reeluso, uro'l-
ing over the misfortunes which had so
early in life made his sky hiiiiIcnh. As
a clerk, on u moderate salary, he went
through his monotonous round ol du
ties, all interent in tho future seeming to
have dud outot his heart.
At the end of a year there was u gay
wedding in tlio city ; gay and imposing
enough to create u tluttcr in certain
circles. A young merchant, who had
started in business at the name t i rue
with Ileston, aud being moro Hticecss.
ful, had tried another venture in ' lib',
even Iho doubtful one of leading to the
altar a maiden who had been false to
bertlrst lover, turning heartlessly from
him when the sunshine K It his path.
This had the ellect to Hpur into new
life the almost dormant eiu rgies of our
young friend. Front that time he
walked abroad with a firmer tread, and
a countenance more elevated. If his
(dd light hearteduess did not return, he
showed u cheerful aspect, mid some
thing like u genial Hide to his character.
The true man in him was moving with
a now vitality, and throwing oil' the
deud husks ot Ice I ing which closed
around him closely as cerements.
Mro another year had gone by, an of-
ler to commeiioo imsincss iigain or
rather, to boco;.io a partner in an old
assail t a
estaiiiisiien noiiso wan acte ioi, ami
ho Htarted in the world oneo more, mo
vine with a tendier Men. and with a
Mirer prospect. And bo loved again
loved an deeply, and tar moro wisely
loved one, t hosu light of lovo for him
wan an undying tlamo that no waters ol
misfortune could ever quench.
Morris Ileston was all right with the
world again; and wiser ami h.f pier fr
tho brief but desolating ntorm which
had so sadly marred the beautiful gar
den of his young life. Prosperity
crowned his business ctVorts, and love
made bis homo a Paradise.
Now and then ho met on tho idrcet,
or in social parties, her who bad played
him ho falsely in hisdarkor hours, nev
er without an almost audibly breathed
utterance of thanks for the misfortune
which had proved her tjuality. She
was growing yearly into a bold, (Jaunt
ing, heartless woman of tho world ; her
once beautiful face changing steadily,
until, to eyes unveiled by sensuality, it
wore a most repellant aspect. To her
husband h side she was rarely seen to
move, on social occasions, with an tin
conscious instinct, as if it was always
pleasant to bo near bun; but plainly
preferred an man's company to his.
'Thank (lod for mislbrttino 1' wtid
Ileston, almost speaking aloud, as lie
saw ncr turn irom nor nusoaixi win
scarcely concealed disgust, and crown
S.I .1.. 1
another man with a wreath ot Minies.
'To mo it came a blessing in disguise.
It was fcareely a month, later, when
the husband of this weak, vain, unnnn
ciplcd woman, returned from bin busi
m-ss one evening to find his home deso
ft fair
late his lovb hopelessly wrecked, and
his baby worst than motherless. J I is
wife had abandoned all her tacred du-
tics, and throwing Jove, honor, virtue,
to tho mocking winds, cast her lot with
that ot a false wretch who lured her
from the truo path, only to fling her
asuic alter a brief season us a worthless
Thank Cod for misfortuno V exclaim
cd Mr. ileston, in tho iloneo of his
swelling heart. It camo to him first
from tho lips of his own truo wife, who
had grown daily dearer to him since
the blessed hour when she bad given
hand and heart together. 'Misfortune?
01, no I' ho said. 'It wan not misfor
tune, but blessing I Tho sun was still
shining in tho sky ; only a, few clouds
had bid from mo his loving'faco
Almost tearfully did Morris Ileston
gather his little children into bin amiv
that wvciiiug looking fi-om them to
their mother with such loving glances,
that hall-wondering and half joy ful, tho
happy spouso felt a now delight well,
ing in her heart, that gavo u now beau
ty to her pure conntenanco.
'I bless (Jod, dear Mary!' luid tho
young man, as Hio camo to his mdo,
drawn by tho magnetism of his lovo,
'that you arc my wife 1 My true, lov
Ing, faithful wite, and the mother of my
precious babes.'
cry Hollly that happy wife and
mother laid her lips upon tho forehead
of her husband, the touch thrilling him
to tho inmost of bis spirit.
Wan it misfortuno that clouded our
young friend's life. No-no. Not mis
lurtuno in tho darker fcnsc tho Bocm-
ng evil was only a blessing in disgulso.
And ho, to the right-thinking, tho right
feeling, tho light-hearted, will all tho
darker dispensations of life provo them
selves blessings. Let us bo patient,.
hopeful, trusting, when tho skj is shad
owed, nor tremble at tho storm that
seomn desolating the earth. Tho eleu
dy tempest is only a transient condition
of nuture; .there is abovo all a perpetu
al sunshine.
To tho right-minded there, is no mis
General Putnam.
Among tho worthies who ligurod dur
ing the era of tho Ameiican revolution,
perhaps there wasnono possessing more
riguiality ol charier than iieneral
Putnam, who was eceentrie and fear
less, blunt in his manners, tho daring
soldier, without tho polish of tho gen
tleman. Jlo might well bo culled the
Marion of the north, though ho disliked
lisguise, probably from tho fact ot his
lisping, which was very apt to overthrow
any tricuerv ho might havo in view.
At tho time a stronghold, called
Jurft'-iici'kt some mile abovo New York,
was in possession of tho Jlritish, Put
nam, with a lew sturdy patriots, was
lurking in its vicinity, bent on driving
them from the place, lircd ol lying in
ambush, the men became impatient, und
importuned the general with questions,
as to when they were going to have a
bout with the loo. Uue morning, he
made a speech something to the folio .v
ing ctVect, which convinced them thai
something was in the wind:
"Fellers You've been idle too long,
aud so havo I, I'm going down to
Hush's at Ilorseiicck, in an hour, with
an ox-tcain, aud u load of corn. If I
come back, 1 will let you know the par
ticulars; if I should not, let them have
it, hythohokcyr
Jlo shortley afterward mounted his
ox-cart; dressed as one of tho common
est order ot yankeo t'armcrs, and was
soon at Hush s tavern, which was in
possession of the Jliitih troops. Mo
sootier did the ollieei's espy him, than
they began to question him as to Iiis
whereabout, and liuding him a com
pit to himplcion, (as they thought,) they
began to qui, him, aud threatened to
sei.o his corn and fodder.
"How much tlo you ask for your
whole concern?" asked they.
"For marry sake, gentlemen," replied
tho huh k clod hopper, with the most
deploiablo look of entreaty, "only let
me oil, and ymt shall havomv hull team
ihkI load for nothing; and If that wont
dew, I'll givo my wind I'll return to
morrow, and pay you heartily lor your
kindness and condescension.
"Well," said they, "we'll take you at
your word ; leavo the team and proven
der with us, and we won't require any
bail lor your appearance.
l utnam gave up the team, Hinteröd
about an hour or so, gaining all tbe in
formation that he wished; ho then re
turned to bis men, aud told them of
the fee and his plan of attack,
1 he morning came, and with it Hal
lied out the gallant band. Tho Sritih
were handled with rough bunds, and
when they surrendered to (Jeneral Put
nam, the clodhopper, bo searea-stieally
remarked, '(lentlemcu, I have only
kept in' word. I told you 1 would call
and pay you tor your kindness and con
descension." fA.yAMrs. Smith, having lost her
husband, advertises aller this fashion ;
"host straved or stolen an individ
ual w hom 1, in an urgent moment of
loneliness was thoughtless enough to
adopt as my husband. IIo is good
looking and ieeble individual, knowing
enough, however, to go in when it rains,
unless some good looking girl offers him
her umbrella. Anybody who will
bring him carefully back, ko that I can
chastise him for running away, will be
asked to fctay to tea by
JlKN It I KTTA A. S M ' 1 : 1 .
A Dutchman undertook to tell
about a fine new barn, his brother had
just finished over on tho 'Whito (Jroud,'
and this is the way he did it: "Beter
has a treat I.t.go parn pilt ofer on to
White Crount 'tis not pilt yet but den
do posts bo tero, tint tho shinkles bo
tere; ho'rt sold Vm agi", but don lie
enn bur more,"
Hard-Shell Sern on.
Hov. Mr. AJger, of Fulton county,
III., is an old fashioned JlrTJUell J3ap
list. The following is n specimen of
inn stylo or oratory arra isixuuons, as
reported by one who wo- "present:
"i!v brecthering. I ; u gwme to
preach you a anuint o 'tho glorious
uoeiriuo uy vnuuf-i, hi
ico oilers in
grace ; nnd my text you
you had JJibles and kno
Homowhar in tho second
which reads as follows
my feet as hen's feet ;'
know has got threo cl
only ono behind ; ho i:
slide backwards um It
coon to como down a tr
less ho slipped and fell
uv coons puts mo in in
ught find, -U
how to road,
t ov Samwcl
'I To maketh
ich you all
bolero, and
ipossiblo to
1 1 be for a
1 llrst, tin
i., hi peak in'
ft coon in
Ui. This
,1; but nil
. uv no ae
Ai the sum.
rknow'd it
- it wan ft big
) HUlnuln on
skins was n
..ino must bo
uld not t a
it to ft clerk.
, uv it, but ho
guv it to him.
-that would bo
bothered till I
to tell. Last winter I .
my corn field auJv '
winter I hrd t thO.,,,,
tho storekeepers Huto ;
count,' 'cause it wan kot
mcr. nnd hadn t novtt
hadn't much turoO it, '
hin, an' I tuck great y
it, uuti mouiu ii -ww,
lawful tender at a doll.
wuth sunthirr. Ict J,
!c for it, and at last g
wan glud to get sh
wouldti t have it after 1
I culdn't throw It aw in
wicked; I was a"MfoV
hit on apian which I thought was just
tho thing. I put it loosn in my outsido
pocket, and started fr homo, but I
hadn't got fur beforo l! felt it workln'
out. 1 didn t look round when it
drupped out for tho Ulf was to loso it ;
but 1 was tickled cnouv'U when l lound
it was gono at last JJut who can de
scribe my feeling when a boy came
rtitiniu'and hollerin' '.Mr.Adgcrl hero's
your coon skin!' Just so my breelherin
with religion. hen a man has wuust
got in it ho can't sell it, ho can't givo it
away, ho can t loso it. ' unst in grace
allcrs in graco.' 'Jlo maketh our feet as
ben's feet.' "
Sadly VaLrtunate.
Neal, in bis "Charcoal Sketches," des
cribes a character who speuks of bim-
Hclf somewhat as follows: "To mv no
tion, this 'ere is a hurd cuso. If I tries
to mosey along through tho world with
out say in' not hin' to nobody, it woi.'t
do Ii vi ia won't come of itself, like tho
man vou owe tho money to you are
obligated to step uud letch it. If 1
come fur to go lur to paddlo my tub
luietly down the gutter ol Jile without
bumpiti again the curb-stono on tho one
side, I'm sure rj ftground on the
other, or lobe upuAf eiomohbw. if I
tries Jittlo speculations, htu-h as boning
things, I'm hart in to bo cotehed; and if
1 goes pardoners, us I did with Tipps,
it won't do he'll tqt-kilulo und burst,
und Fin cure to be smashed up and till
ed through."
Tho Nowburyport Herald tells of a
man who made the following reply when
asked if he over went gunning to kill
birds: "llirds, no I' was the indignant
reply. "If I had a gun on my shoul
der, 1 never saw a bird or any other
game, ltcsides, I noer had a gun; and
if I had one, I never had Iho money to
buy powder and shot with; and if 1 had
bought the powder and shot, I shouldn't
have known bow to load ; and if I had
known bow to loud, I hhould have been
afraid to Uro. Why, I never hpotted a
nut tree, wii nilod with fruit, but 1 was
sure to find them nil gathered when 1
went after them; and if ever 1 went a
nutting, I could get nothing but pig
nuts. Tho other lo m could always tiud
sweet acorns; but could never find
anything but a luuker of a bitter one,
and that was sure to have a worm In it.
1 never went a clamming but I wa-stire
to get nothing but muscles. I ont o went
after quahogs, taking a big basket to fill
and carried home tho big basket, but
only a single bivalve, the shells of which
I preserved as a memorable relic. If 1
w ent a lUhing for eunucrs, I was sure to
catch only flounders, r.olhlng but grub
bios woufd turn up and u rascally skate
I could catch atanv time. 1 went down
onco to enjoy a lUh chowder, and was
... . . . i .. . . i i .. . i.
obliged to content mvsoii wun tuny porn
ami wtttti-es. The nearest thing to
luck 1 ever experienced, when a
friend caught a big pike.
ItiT Charlotte (.Wsman displayed
presenco of mind on tho stage at Nash.
llle. Tenn., a few ovnnlngs since. In
the sleeping sceno In the lilth act, us
Lady Macbeth approaches from her
chamber, lamp in hand, the light luce
ve with which Miss i;uhman h head
und shoulders were covered, caught lire
and blar.cd like tinder, Miss irishman,
without relaxing a mtiscle of her fixed
features, or showing by uuy visible sign
the Ivt discomposure, caught the blax
ingiobo'.u b.er grasp and immediatelv
extinguished it. without turning lies
eyes right or left, or betraying the least
' .:. . p T. I ! .. I i. .
s tn Ol emotion ui iiiiv aum. ou
promptly and fearlessly wan it none
und so much was it in keeping with the
character hhe was playing, notwith
standing tho distinctly audible shrieks
of some ot tho ladies, many present ae
tualiy believed it to bo a pari ol the per
Spurgeon says of a prayer, that
its iLoropo of the belfry ; pull it, and it
rings mo Ocii up in Jicuven. ivce
pulling it, and though the bell is u
high youcautiothcar it ring, depem
i on
on it. it can bo hoard In the tower of
Heaven, and is ringingbeforc tho throne
of Cod, who will give you answers o
peaco according to your faith.
ro Wiso men minglo innocent
mirth with their cares, as a hope either
to forget or overcome them ; but to res
ort to intoxication for the ease of one's
mind, i? to cure nohcohoiy Mith mnd
yMy Ay Ay
MAY 7, 1858.
Pleasures of the Wealthy.
In the latter part of tho last ccnturj',
thcro flourished in Tans a ven wealthy
banker named Nicholas IJoaujon. Uy
his liberality, churches and hospitals
rrcro endowed and established, some
of which even at this day boar his
namo. IIo was also .at ono timo tho
owner of tho celebrated Elysoe-Bour-born,
long tho residence of princes nnd
persons of note, which ho enlarged and
embellished, and which nubsooueiitlv
becomo n royal prlaco. Tho furno of
U! . I .!.-.. 1.
ms uiuuiiieeuco was sucu, vuai an Jung
lishman, jealous of his ropatalion, was
determined to satisfy himself of tho
fact. IIo called at the banker's resi
dence, and was nhown Into tho din
ing room; tbo table wan covered with
temnting dishes.
"Your master liven well, at all ovents,"
haid tho sceptical son of Albion.
alf lee a . t a
aiani eir, mo aucnunni repnea,
"my master never sits down to table: ho
partakes of only ono dish of vegeta
ble." "Weill ho has whcrowithal to iratify
bin eyes," continued tho visitor, as ho
looked up at tho pictures.
"Alan sir, my master is nearly
'I suppofie." muttered tho astounded
Englishman, an ho passed into another
room, "ho comfortn himself by listening
to beautiful music."
"Alas I sir, toy rnastor ban never
beard that which is rdaved hero: ho
goes to bed early in tlio lioben of got.
ling a few moments' roposo.
" cl I J but your master, at all events,
enjoys tho pleasure of a walk."
"Alan I Hir, bo can no longer walk."
So from question to question and ala9
to alas, tho Englishman found that tho
millionarie Hoaujon was tho most mis
erable of men.
A Mexican Bravo.
Amonst tho gallant most conspicu
ous in cleganco of manner was ono of
tho oflletjrs of tho Zacatoccns bund of
heroes, in blazing uniform. Jlo was tho
admired of many a fuir ono, to whom
bin noblo bearing contradicted clearly
the calumnies of doubt an to tho cour-
o of him ami his comrades. Ho
seemed to bo anxious to confirm their
favorable opinion by noiiio act in accor
dance with it. Jlo surveyed tho ball
room from one end to the other, apjiJied
occasionally some stimulants to his bud
ding valor, and Hocmcd at last to havo
selected his man. Jlo sidled tin to my
friend, who, at somo distance from me,
was engaged in conversation with somo
acquaintance J ho reasons that prob
ably caused this choice of a victim were
twoioui my friend was a mall man,
besides being a foreigner, undsoemingly
alone amongst a crowd never very en-
thtiHiastio in l.tvor ol any European.
To muko tho story short, ho east derog
atory reflections on foreigners in gen
eral, and on the ono before him in par
ticular 1 ho Hccno became Interesting
and lupcftit. I camo up in time lo hear
urn assert, with iol emphasis, that by
lis hands had died Englishmen, (ier
mans, French, Americans, ami others.
In a moment my friend sidled close up
o him, whispered something in his ear,
and gavo him a peep at tho handle of a
iMtot in an inner breast pocket ol his
coat. Iho talisman acted with won
ilroun suddenness. A slight, paleness
replaced for a moment bis flushed color;
but, immcdiHcIv ho wun himsell again,
ie east a look of unutterable fierceness
on the smiling pair ot us, Mid r. treat
ed. Curious Statistics.
Old Wrinkles is the very devil on fig
ures mathematics is his forte he re
duces everything to a mathematical cal
culation basic. II you moot Wrinkles
and a -k him to take a drink, ho at once
calculates the chances of his meeting
you again in a given length of time.
lie saw us throw away it cigar not
wholly consumed, there being at least
an inch of good tobacco which might
have been smoked hud wo been ho dis
posed, and be reproached us with the
act of extravagance. Wo said It was a
small matter, but Wrinkles launched
out into bis external mathematics,
Thcro are tvmity-wvo thousand per
sons In this city who each smoke an
average ol lour cigars a day, costing
threo cents each average, which amounts
in tho aggregate to the sum of four
thousand dollars a day expended in ci
gars, td each ono ni ineso cigars an
average of at least one third is thrown
away unsmoked, so that dining each
lay one thousand three-hundred aud
thirty-tbreo dollars three und one-third
cents uro thrown awuv, destroyed, lost
in wasted tonacco, in tiiscaruing cigar
stumps. .Add that nil lor tho year, con
tinued nnkles, ami seo what a start
ling sum total is produced how main'
persons could bo niswlo com fort able, by
.. it f . . . . I ...ii ...!.! ....
what is nung into mo gutters in cigar
Wrinkles is ho enthusiastic; on this
point lha he talks of getting up a so
ciety to turn cigar stumps into sunn,
and tho snull' into cash. With the cash
bo says every poor family in this city
ran bo kept in fuel und butcher's meat.
Wrinkles is a progressive. Three cheers
for Wrinkles. .thiny Knkkcr.bocLcr,
t-r- There is a Turkish law that a
man, for every falsehood he utters, shall
havo a red mark net on his house.
If such a law were in force in the Uni
ted States, wo fear that some people
who build fino houses might have their
painting done with no4expenso except
to their character and consciences.
Ti. It was a iho ami truo remark,
that they who abandon a friend for one
error, know but little of human char
acter, and provo that their hearts urvas
cold thir judgment arwwtk. ,
NO. 13
A Scrap of History.
Just two hundred and fifty j'ears ago,
that is, in tho year 1C0S Captain John
Smith.tho friend of Pocahontas, ascend
ed tho Potomac river in boats a.n far us
tho falls, a few miles above tho George
town of to-day. In descending tho
river, be was hospitably entertained at
tho Indian village of Toag, or Tcacquo,
on the banks of asmall tributary stream,
which from all tho points described,
must fmvo been our Tiber creek. Tho
whito guests had their scene of festivi
ty about whero tho Whito llouso dow
In 1 859, it is tho wandering " and
countryloss red man who co:ncs to ask
kindness and protoction from his white
dispoBMossor, whero oneo he was tho
solo lord. JIow few und far between
aro tho friends tho poor Indian finds at
the seat of the. mighty cmpiro, which
now covers his old hunting grounds.
Tho negro usurps all miuds; for the no
grohns n political significance to which
tho vanishing rod raco can make no
Of our main sins of cmlcn'nt
ono 1s moro incxchsiablo than tho nog.
. i i.i . . '
icci toproviue n regular plan oi action
for settling the Indians in fixed homes,
under adequate supervision instead 'of
pressing them back on barren or limited
wastes, where they must livo by plun
der; until they aro overtaken by tho ex
terminating tiro ol civilization.
Facti for tho Curious.
The number of langu rvge epolon is
Iho number rd men is about cquul to
tho number of womeu.
Tho average of human life is 33
Unc-quartor die beforo the ago of 7.
One-half bolero tho go of 17.
To every 1,000 persons, one only
reaches 100 years. To every 100, only
ö reach C5 years; and not moro than I in
500 roachctt tho ago ol 80 years.
I hero arc on earth 1,000,000,000 of In-
habitants. Of theso, 3:J,33:i,::i:i dio cv
cry ytar, 11,:12 1 dio cverv day, 7,780
every hour, nrtd CO every minute or 1
for every second.
Theso losses uro about balanced by
an equal number of birthn.
J he married are lomjer Iwed than the
ninglc ; and, abovo all, thoso who ob
serve a sober and industrious conduct.
Tall men live longer than short ones.
Women havo moro chances of life
provious to tho ago of fifty yearu than
men, but fewer alier.
J he number of marriages is in pro
portion of 75 to 100.
Marriages aro Jmost frequent after
tho equinoxes that is, during the
mouths of J tine and December.
Thoso born in spring aro generally
moro robust than others.
liirths und deaths aro moro frequent
by night than day.
The number ot men capable of bear
ing arms is calculated at ono-fourth of
the population. .
A Beautiful Incident
A naval offlcor being at sea in a dread
ful storm, bis lady was sitting in the
cabin near him aud tilled with alarm
for tho safety of tho Vessel, she was so
surprised at his composure aud serenity
that she cried out:
"My dear, are y:u not afraid? How
is it possible you can be so culm in such
a dreadful storm ?"
IIo rose from his chair, lashed to the
deck, auppor'.ing himself by a pillar of
the bed place, drew bin sword, and
pointing it to tho breast of his wife, ox.
claim od;
"Are you not tifruid V
She instantly nnswerod "No."
"Why?" said the ollb-or.
"Uoeauso," rejoined tho lady, "I know
that this sword is in the hands tt my
husband . and bo loves me too well to
hurt me."
"Then," said ho, "remember, I know
in whom I believe, and that ho holds
the winds in his fists, and the water In
tho hollow of his hands."
r-Jesse Is of opinion that tho fol
lowing legal opinion is about us impor
tant as many others, published on knot
ty rptostlons of the law :
A few mornings since, one of our
lawyers was started from his dream of
rich clients and fat foes by a loud
knocking at his ollleo door, lie open
ed tho door, when a 'gontbonau from
Africa,' known an Marlpos.i Jack, stood
before him.
Look bt ah, Judge' said he, ! wants
your pinion on a law pint.
Well go on."
'Spo.se a man brings Homo eggs to
towir, an' hires nnudder nigger to sell
'em, an' dut nigger can't doit, an' he
gibs 'cm to iv.Cs mv 1 loses tlo money,
kin r.o do any ting wit me ?
The learned counsel, putting on bis
wisest look, informed him ho knew ol
no law to punish him.
Yaw ! vah 1' chuckled Jack, ! know
ed hocoufd'nt in do fust place kaso de
kase do eggs was ro4t-u unv how.
Judge, when dux you want your boots
OaioiN or "Arnn. Fooi.."- If credit
may bo reposed in the "Public Advert!
serr' for April Pith. 1701, the "wrinklo'
Mining from a Jlewbrcw root. "It Is
said to havo begun," wiya the print in
oiwivtion, from tho mistake of Noah
sending the dove outof the Ark before
tho w ater hud abated, on the hrntday of
the month, among the Hebrews, which
unswers to our 1st of April, lo perpet
uatotho memon ol. tho deliverance 'it
was thought proper, whoever forgot hü
remarkablo circumstances, to punish
them by sending, t.i.tvirt ii pon Home sleeve
less errand i Mmilar to that inelVectual
message upon which tbo bird was sent
hv th I ntriarf h.
Book and Job Printing Office.-
We would call eipM attfi.tion to tW ftiliti'
fjr tbe execution ot Jiook and Job Printing. Our'
Htork of Type I lrfo and rifJ of tbe neweit
and moat Lmutifal itlt-s, enabling us le tieeute
with nettnnas and depetvb ry urirty f I'Uit.
and OniNtnentel Work, including Cirrulsi, Hill
Head, I;Uakt, Ofrtiflcate, Tkkuti, VUillrg, Wed
ding nnd Duiis Card, Labelf,' Hin 4 -Ellis', Cat
alojju, Iii iefi, rbamphlt'tt , ete
W have a greater amortreont of wood tjf Li an
ran be funad ta any olber cflite outtlde tbe city.
Tononp gWing u their order naj be Ssicrtxt of '
baring tboir work faltbfull atundv'd te. : -.
Out Cable of nlJatUtltff.
KiT When is a tired man like a thief?
When bo needs a resting.
txT Keep your own sorrels. Tell tj
human being that you dyo your whisk
ers. .
W Vi'by docs an achhig tooth im
poso silence on tho sufferer? Iiccar.ai ;
it makes him hold bis jaw
r Pleuse ex.' an the printer said,
whou bo offered bis band to u nice little
fcuTTho man who moved an amend
ment injured bis spino by tho opera
CUu The individual who 'stood upon
his own responsibility,'' is to be indicted
for infanticide.
' Jkm Tho i nan who "saw thoJokoMt ,
is bald, used a npy-ghihs. - . 1
' ty If you wish to grow wealth )v get
married.' Wbftt it costs to support vtiv"
itre wtll keep hix children.
Lrjr What medicine does a man t..kf
for a Hcoldiug wife? t j
Ho takes au elixir. (Ho takes and he
licks her.)
tear- Lciigfollow'a beautiful pbraso,,
sutler and bo blrotig,' is now fumiliarly
rendered, 'grin and bear lt.
SsJ" 'A pretty girl and a wild borso '
aro llableto do much mischief; for tho ;
one runs away with a 'follows body and '
tho other Uis heart. ..
tor 'Doy ! did you let off that gem?' '
exclaimed an enraged kchool master
cs, master, ' n cl, what uo you think ,
1 will dv to you ?' 'Why, let me off.'
&jr Tho cradle is woman's ballot ,
box. Yes, and Homo of them deposit in ,
it two ballots tit onco. Now, isn't that
fr.ir A shoemaker has one Important
advantage over all tbo rest of mechan
ics his goods, whenever finished, aro.
ulways sold.
(Qr Why are potatoes and corn liko
certain sinners of old? liecanso, hav
ing eyes they seo not, and having ears
they hear not.
Ladies aro liko watches nrettv
enough to louk at sweet faces and deli
cate hand, but somehow diMcult to
regulato' when onco set 'a going
Dcr A young slock-broker, having
married a fat old widow with 8100,000,
sayn it wnsn t his wties nice mat at
tracted him ho much as ho Jigutre.
rvir Ono of our finest writers ssy
that 'tho nightly dews comes down up-
on us liko blessing.' How very differ
ently tho daily dews como down on us
these hard times.
ly To ascertain the weight of rt
hom, place your too under tho animnl'n
fjot, when ho is standing still. By tho
H imo method, the value of corn may bo
tl. A man camo into a prtnting-oN
lice to beg a paper -'Pecause,' paid ho
we like to read newspapers very much
but our neighbors are al
11 too stingy to
take one.
trT A gentleman asked a negro bov
if ho wouldn't take a pinch of snuff.
'rso, replied thodarkov, very respect '
fully, me tank you, Pomp's noso not
B&. 'You bavo considerable floating ,,
population in this village, haven't you'.''
asked a stranger of ono of tho citifetis '
of a village ou tho Mississippi. 'Well, "
yes, rather,' wan the reply j 'about half
the year tho water is up to the second
story windows.'
CvaT A married man ff our acquaint-
unco say tho first thing that turned
his iitleulion to matrimony was tlio
neat and skilfull manner in w hich aprct.
ty girl bundled it broom. He may id ,
the time when tho manner in which
that broom will bo handled, will nut, uf-
foroj him fjoito much satisfaction.
Lkt 'I say, Phil, who in tho prottv
girl 1 saw vou walking with oil last '
Sunday evening '('
Miss I loggen !
'1 loggest well, size's to bo pitied' for '
having such a name.'
So I think, Joe,' rejoined Phil; I :
pitied I er so much thut 1 offered hr
mine, und hho is going to take It soon.'
Vr.av tioou. ."My sou, would yoti
suppose that the Lord's Prayer could
bo engraved In a space no larger than '
tho area id' a half-dime Y"
Well, yes, father, if a half-dime is on -largo
in everybody's eye as it i in
yours, i iniiik mere, wouio no uomm- '
eulty in putting Hon about lour times. L
tAt a wedding recently, which !
took pluoo at Iho altar, when the olliei.
ating priest put to the lady the question.
"Wilt thou have this man to bo thy '
w edded husband ; hIio dropped the pret
tiest courtesy, and with a moacf.tv
which lent her beauty an additional
grace, replied, "If you ; (rase sir."
txif A minister appioaehing a mis.
chievoiis urchin about twelve veara old.
and laying bin band calmly upon his
shoulder thus addressed him :
My son, I believe tho devil ban got'
hold f you?'
I believe bo has too,' was tho signifi
cant reply.
IT A man residing in Indiana, a-
nouncod himself rs n candidate for a
seat in tho Legislature, and in his ad
dress to tho public sums upn.n fulbws :
Why. I believe I was tho first civil-,
zed man w ho hkiunod a oon chased a
doer caught a bearor treed a wihl ,
cat, on tho west side of Whito Jlivef !'
All right. A man of such talents
should run for the Presidency. ILa -
would g t It. too .p'Tl.Sf.

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