VQLyiVyiJ X.-NUMBEIl 510.
STANFORD, KY TUESDAY. JANUARY 10, 1882:
NEW SERIES-NUMBER 7.
Semi - H
W. P. WALTON,
T. R. WALTON,
Editor anj Proprietor.
- - Business Manager.
Suiisckiition, S2.50 Pim Annum,
I.NVAKIAIU.Y K AnVANCK.
Detectives at Weddings.
In tlio Hast detectives nro employed
to attend big weddings. It il their
Imsincss to hover nround tho collec
tion of costly presents and, sco that
tiono of tho high-toned guests steal
nuytb5ngr, It U only,nt weddings at
tended by the very highest toned that
detectives nro necessary, which is
rnthor n compliment to. peoplo who
don't protend to any particular
tono themselves. Theso detectives
havo to lw men of intelligence and
good address, and thoy aro required to
attiro themselves in swallow-tails of
the regular pattoro, s6 that thoy may
( pass for guests nnd excito no remark
while exercising tho necessary vigi
lance. Yet if they aroyouug ntcn'
and converse intelligently, thoy must!
form 'a striking contrast to tho la-da-da
society fellows of the day, and tins
would bo suspicious in iUclt. Hut
tho intelligent detcctivo probably
holds his intelligcrco in check upon,
ucn occasions. Kleptomania, un
known in tho lower walks of life.
whero they simply steal when thoy
take something that doesn't belong to
thorn, is an unfortunate malady that
sometimes attacks .pcoplo. moving (ti
tho higher circles, and it is to guard
against this that detective, aro cngag-,
ed for theso great events which dazzlo
tho social world. Thoy of cour.e
must bo posted as to tho peculiari
ties of cuests and thoroughly inform
rl on tho subject of priceless gems.
Tho fair kleptomaniac approaches
tho tablo nnd takes up an elegant
diamond ring, which she is nbut to
placo on her finger to study its effect.
"Pcrral4,me, madam," says tho detec
tive, gently but adroitly taking it from
her. ''lo call your attention to tho par
ticular light wen in this gem. This
diamond is from llcnarc. ono of tho
sacred cities in India. For centuries
it blazed in tho forehead of ono of tho
images representing Gautama Buddha
himself and was tho richest jewel in
his shrine. During ono of tho many
wars in that land tho temple was pil
laged nnd tho diamond eventually
came into tho possossion of ono of the
famous Ilcgums of Oudo. Tho lady
prized it above nil her earthly twsses
sions, but at last sho. too, was dc-
...!L1 .( !l I.. !. 1R.!.I. -I
IT. , r ' . I .
Sir Elijah Impcy, of whom you havo
read in Macauloy's essay upon War
ren Hastings and in your further re
searches into tho history of tho period.
On tho robber's return homo to Eng
land ho was afraid to keep it, and
sold it to a wealthy planter from Vir
ginia, thon otn a visit to London. Bo
ingruincd by tho war, ho was com
pelled to deposit it to n New York
jowcler, and henceforward it will
adorn tho finger of iho lovely bride."
And thus it is, wo suppose, that the
detcctivo protects wedding gifts, nnd
helps entertain tho company. Cin
cinnati Saturday Night.
Tho third annual report of tho New
Jorsoy Bureau of Labor Statistics,
just published, shows' n fairly encour
aging stato oi.afTairu.' It shows that
tho avcrago amount spent by working
men in a year, is 8 155.27, mid tho
avcrago nmount earned 8 I08.Q3, leav
ing an average saving of only 813 2G
in, a year. Tho expenses also iucludo
sundries, tobacco, liquor, physicians'
and druggists' bills, fend other similar
items. Tho report says that the truck
system compulsory dealing with
stores in which tho employers havo an
interest is nearly nbolishod in the
rjtnte, nnd that ucarly nil tho wages
aro paid in cash. Tho nvcrago num
ber of hours per week during which
labor is performed is sixty. During
tho past year thero was n marked di
munition in the number of days lost
through inability to obtain work. The
avcrago was forty from this cause,
while last year it wus eighty-seven.
The avorsgo from kicknoss was seven
teen. Wages hnve nUo advanced iu
most occupations tho uvcrago fur men
thisyeur being $1.7$ as compared to
$1.15 last year. A fact shown in tho
report is that n great number of labor
ing men dejieud for substantial assis
tance upon their families; indeed, that
nearly nil wages-canters receive aid in
The onlr bitters ami Ibe only prepara
tion of lion that (fife complete satitfic
lion Is lirown ' Iron Hitler; It contain
oo alcohol. It dee not blacken the teath.
It tjirra real strength,
The Wrong OH
His namo was Augustus Bmythc,
ho was n clerk in n dry goods store,
nnd didn't earn enough to starve do
ccntly on, but with that siiblimo as
surance which distinguishes tho la-da-dah
young man of tho day, ho was
paying attention to tho prettiest girl
in Detroit. Ho managed, by not
paying his washerwaman or tailor, to
talco her to operas and theatres, but
as times wcro getting hard, ho con
cluded to marry her and savo the ex
penses of boarding. Hy somo process
of mental arithmetic known only to
the genius, ho decided that what was
not enough for one, was enough or
two, nnd forthwith he concluded tl?
pop. Ho know that bis persistent
visits bad kept nil other young men
away, so ho had nq fear of a trial.
When tho time camo nnd ho found
himself in tho company of Miss Laura
in her papa's comfortablo parlor ho
leisuroly seated himself by her on. tho
sofa, took her little dimpled hood,
used only to tinklo tho piano with,
and said, in a bronze voice:
"Dear Miss Laura, I have conclud
ed to marry.'1
Laura started, as ho Intended slio
should. Then ho resumed grandilo
quently: "I want a dear littlo girl
I about your size, with a great hie;
heart Jii'tt liko' yourrf, J to felmro my
"Is it on Jcllcrson Avenue?" mur
'No, dearest, it is on Crogan street,
but what are localities to
love? I want n'girl wh
girl who is ' good
tempered, smart, economical, and who
loves me. ' Darling, do you know of
such a one?"
Laura faintly: "Yes, oh' yes, I am
sure I do."
"One who would rather live with
mo in poverty than dwell with some
other man in riches? Who would
esteem it n pleasure to servo me, cook
my meals, keep tho house tidy, and
listen for my foot-steps? Who would
no up early nnd sit up lato lor my
"Oh, how beautiful," murmured
Laura; "just like a dear, self sacrificed
"Do you know such n one, my an-
"Yes, T do," responded Laura, fer
vently; "but you must not call mo
your nngel, for sho might not liko it;
she's in tho kitchen now washing the
dishes, and sho. told mother sho'd as
leif get married this winter as livo
out, if she only felt ablo to support a
husband. Slio's just tho girl you
tentit nml .clia'11 InvA vmt tvilliin an
" -"" "" Jw" ""
"nch your life."
But Augusta Smytho had fled into
tho outer darkness; the too muchness
of the occasion ovcrcamo him like a
summer cloud. Detroit Press.
Etery Day Transactions,
In tho market: Young housekeeper
"Havo you a calf's head ? I think
John would like ono for dinucrV
"Yes, wo havo ono nicely cleaned.
Shall I send it up?"
. "And havo you any quail ? I think
quail on toast would pleaso him."
"Somo just in this morning."
"And, let me see, a loin of beef. la
it quite the season for venison yot?"
"No. Shall I send tho calf's head,
quail, and join of beet ?"
"Well, no, I guess not. .You can
givo me half a pound of pork steak."
At tho dry goods emporium : ''You
warrant this silk to be "
"Oh, yes, lady. Just tho best silk
imported. If it cracks within a year,
we'll .mako it good. Beautiful pieco
"Well, now let mo sco your plush
"At the next counter, ma am, some
Lady goes to tho notion counter
and buys half a yard of elastic nnd n
paper of hairpins.
In the clothing-houto: "I want n
bang-up, common scuso suit. Ono
that'll bo dressy and not too good for
"That's just tho cheese. Every
way equal to custom made. Nobo
dy'll over know tho dilloreuce, and u
third less in price. Same tiling inado
up would cost you "
'H'm; yes. llqw much have I
got to pay for nn overcout to mulch?"
"1 can M'll you an overcoat, there.
Ain't that a daisy? Silk lined, fur
8 to you, you know."
"Got any 'o them thirty soven cent
suspenders left ? I'm comiug all to
pieces." Dealer does him up n pair
in n hurry and forgets to usk him to
call again.- Nqw Haven Register,
The aspiring young journalists whu.
writo to their papers of tho " bills f
Introduced " are spending the winter
at Frankfort. O'Sullivan.
. What it Monty t
A fjw weeks ngo two gentlemen
ramo into my offlco nnd put before mo
a fivo-ilollar national bank note.
Thoy remarked that thoy hnd agreed
to nbido by my decision, nnd they
asked mo this simplo question : " Is
this money ?" " Certainly it is
money," I replied ; nnd one man
went off In triumph and ono was sad.
Perhaps tho disappointed man had
presumed that I would say : " No, it
is not monoy, becaus'o it is not gold or
silver." Now, gentlemen, was my
reply right or wrong ? Lot us settle
this point before we cnlargo upon tho
uses of monoy through tho operations
of n national bank. And though I
am well aware that it is hard to find
ten men who will ngrco to precise de
finitions upon this subject, yet I will
venture this : Monoy is a measure of
n value, and a medium of exchange.
Whilo it may not bo wealth, it is
that which distributee wealth. While
it may not be capital, it is that which
employs capital. In short, it is tho
measure of a valuo and the medium
of an exchange. Let me illustrate in
a moro familiar way. I toss before
you a nickel flvo cent pieco. You say
that is monoy, and you ae right, be-
causo it measures tho value of flvo
apples. Or, I show you a postage
stamp set in a tin frame, such as we
were onco obliged to uoc, mid you say
this stamp is, also mouoy. -But I may
contend that a poslago stamp is not
money ; but you will reply that if a
stamp will buy apples, then it is
money, for it becomes tho measure of
a valuo and the medium of ex
change. A hundred years ngo Indian corn
was used for money ; it bought goods
and paid debts.
Tho old minister, in my native city,
was paid bis salary part in paper
monoy, part in corn money, and part
in hardwood monoy. The corn was
used nt n fixed prico per bushel, and
wood at so much for a cord. They
paid debts, they were measures of a
value nnd mediums of exchange.
W. E Gould, of Portland, Maine.
New Year Resobes.
There nro probably few of us who
could not in somo respects have done
better with our time and opportuni
ties than wo have. Yet it is a mis
take to supposo that if we had n ycr
to livo over ngain, or even if we hod
all tho ycara of our lives, wo would
do radically different from what wo '
havo done. Wo think wo would
and wo aro honest enough in saying
whnt we think. As to New Year
resolutions in detail for special acts of
life, they are ,gencrally mado with
good intent, yet they seldom amount
to much. 'A mad resolves that ho
will mark down an account of every
cent he spends; or that ho will keep
his things in perfect order instead of j
being slovenly and careless, as in the I
past; or that ho will not for tho whole
year say a disagreeablo word or do a what I haven't got, nnd cau t obtain,
disagreeablo act. Ho buys a diary, and havo corao to the conclusion that
ruled with columns for dollars and it isn't n scarcity of monoy the coun
cents. In this ho makes entries for' try is Buffering from," but a scarcity of
about a week. Ho finds an old cbest collaterals." Des Moines (la.) Reg
of drawers and somo pigeon holos, or
elso ho .secures somo fixtures anew.
His drawors are soon crammed with
odds and ends, and his pigeon-holes
crowded with a (lenso accumulation of
unavailable rubbish. He crosses his
logs in tho Btrootcnr ns before, puffs
cigarette smoko into tho noses of his
fcllow-passongers, anil savagely orders
a match peddler out of his presence.
After n few days ho reviews all his
broken resolutions and begins to think
ho is a bad sort of fellow for making
them rashly and breaking them thor
oughly. Tho fact is that (ho man
forgot the power of habits which it
had taken years to form. Ho thought
ho could, by passing a resolution, do
that which would involvo changing n
larco part of his human nature. He
simply took top large a contract with
out tho menus nf filling it.
"I thiuk," ealtl the celebrated di
vine, Dr. Robert Breckinridge, to his
mother one day, "that you were too
severe on us boys in our childhood. I
think I shall do better with my sous
by pursuing u more indulgent course "
Well.'Jtobert." replied the old lady,
" it you can make three as good
preachers out of your buys as I mado
out of mine, I shall believe there is
something iu it."
" Aud so I gave up searching for
him, for it was us needless as looking
for a needle in a bundlo of hay."
" Then you shouldn't havo, for there
is nothing easier." " Nothing easier
than what ?" " Thau fiudjng ueedlo
in a bundle of .hay." " Nonsense 1
How do you fiud it?" "Sit down on
the bundle ot hay."
Trarels ef an Eye-Stone.
Tho following rcmarkahlo incident
has just come to our knowledge. It
would seem almost incredible, wcro It
not for tho ahsoluto veracity of the
gentleman making the statement.
Mr. Hufiift Miller is n well-known
farmer nf this town, living nt Me
ohnnlcstown. Somo fivo or six years
ngo, just lieforo retiring, Mr. Miller
placed in his eye what was known as
nn eye stone, for the purpose of re
moving a moto, as he had frequently
t,ror mo benelit or those of our
readers who do not know what an
eye-stone is, wo will explain. It is a
small, white, round shell, abont 3-1G
of an Inch in diameter, concave on
ono side, convex on tho other, and
quite thin. It is taken from the head
of a crab, one being found under each
eye of that crustacean.)
In the morning, when Mr. Miller
awoke, ho could not find the stone.
He mado a careful and thorough
search, but nil in vain, and he made
up his mind that it was go no for
good. A few weeks sinco ho felt a
hard growth on the little finger of his
right hnnil. He showed it to some
friends, who concluded it was a wart,
and advised him to let il alono. Ho
did so until about n week since, when
it began to bo sore, and he commenced
picking at it. Ho soon found out
that some hard substance was under
the skin, and, digging away, ho finally
took out his long-lost eye stone. Ho
examined il so carefully that there
can bo no mistake.
Ho now recollects that he at one
time experienced considerable sore
ness in his wrist, and supposes at that
period the stone was pressing in that
direetion. How this bit of carbonate
of lime ever made that lone journey
without being lost or absorbed is a
mystery. That it did so, thero can
lie no doubt. fMiddletown (Conn.)
The Real Scarcity.
A man went into a bank to borrow
some money, lie nsKea il iney couiu
loan n thousand dollars for n short
time. "Oh, yes," was tho reply;
" ono thousand, or two thousand, if
you want it. ine rate oi inioresi
was satisfactorily fixed, and the bor
rower was asked as lo the character
of his collaterals. "Collaterals? I
haven't got any collaterals,' said the
borrower. " No collaterals," said the
banker, " thon it will be impossible
for us to let you have thei money. 'J
Tho man was silent for a few mo
ments, and then exclaimed : " I have
heard a good deal ot talk lately about
the scarcity of greenbacks there
wasn't monoy enough to do the busi
ness of tho country. But it does not
look so. I como hero and find you
anxious to lend roe all the money I
No scarcity of greenbacks
But before you lend it you re
qulro collaterals. Now thats just
A Hint en Household Management.
Have you- ever observed what a
disliko servants havo to anything
cheap ? They hate saving their mas
ter's money. I tried the experiment
with great success tho other day.
Fiuding we consumed a vast amount
of soap, I sat down in my thinking
chair, aud took the soap question
into consideration, and I found
reason to suspect wo were using
a very expensivo article, where a
much cheaper one would servo the
purpose, better. I ordered half a dozen
pounds of both sorts, but took tho
precaution of changing the papers,
on which the prices wero marked, bo
fore giving them into the hands of
LBetty. " Well, Betty, which soap do
yOu find washes best ?' " Oh," please
itir, tho dearest, in the blue paper ; it
makes tho lather as well again as the
other." " Well, Betty, you tliall al
ways havo it then ; and thus, the un
susiwctingBetly saved me mauy pounds
n year, nnd washed the clothes better.
Uev. Siduey tiniith.
Tho wife of the new Chinese minis
ter did not accompany him to the
Whito House reception on New Year's
Day. Sho is only tho third lady of
rank who over left China. As she
docs not speak any language but her
own, and is extremely diflideut and
cannot support herself alono on her
small feat, it Is not her husband's in
tention to expose her to the curious
until she is a littlo more at houig in
the new world. She did. not eveu re
ceivo. curds, but remained iu strict ie-clusiou.
The Worla's Cotton Production.
Statistics gathered by the Depart
ment nf State, and soon to be distrib
uted, make tho colton product of the
several cotton-growing countries to
exceed three nnd a half million pounds
a year. Of this amount there is fur
nished by tho
Unitf.1 fillw 2,770,000,000 poimila
Kast Indira 407,000,000 "
Kyil,8mjrna,lc... !iC9,000,000 "
Hraill -0,000,000 "
Weal Indiesi 10,010,000 "
, Total 3,600,000,000
The figures show that the United
Slates produce nearly four-fifths of
the cotton crop of tho world, nnd we
know that the yield is steadily and
rapidly increasing. Its chief rival,
though n long way behind, is as nota
bly declining. In 1875 the area un
der cotton in India was 11,450,000
acres ; in 1878 it was only 8,000,000.
Tho yield to the acre in this country
is nearly four timea Hint in Indin.
OUR NEW YEARS TAFFY,
Chen by the State Press.
The Stanford Intehioh-Journal
has begun the publication of n semi
weekly edition. The Messrs. Walton
aro wide-awake and enterprising busi
ness meu, and havo no such word ns
" fail " in their vocabulary. Midway
W. P. Walton, of tho Intekior
Journal, has ventured on the experi
ment of making his excellent paper a
semi-weekly. It is one ot the best
edited and printed papers in the State,
and wo earnestly hope that his enter
prise will be liberally sustained by his
people. fShelbyville Sentinel.
A Chicago paper finds that young
men may marry on almost nothing.
Making previous provisions for the
incidents of matrimony it finds a
needless precaution. But tho Chicago
paper is giving us nothing new.
Hundreds of young men know nil
about this. A youne man has onlv
to get trusted for his groceries, and
move often, to raise a largo and inter
esting family. Sometimes a young
man is so fortunate as to get a wife
who does her own work, and saves
enough to pay for his beer and tobac
bo. When domestic bliss is so easy
of attainment, all young men should
"Upon tht wingi of lore I flj-.
From f rocr to jciwcrl,"
A SopfLV Ready. There is now a
brand of fine cut tobacco known as
Thistle Dow. When a man asks for
a certain kind of weed and can't get
it, bo just purchases a package of the
new variety nnd murmurs ns he takes
it, "Thistle Dew." This is an exam
ple of a new hand-made joke that we
are turning out now at this office. We
have, iu addition to the above highly
classical stylo of mirth, a good, fair,
average stoga joko at a much smaller
price. Estimates mado for almanacs,
minstrel shows and funerals. Wo have
a new and attractive mourning joko
on hand now that makes death almost
a welcome messenger. Send ten cents
for catalogue. Boomerang.
- m aiM m
A Mexican paper gives the follow
ing account of a battlo between mon
archy of tho deep: "A lake in the
rear of Manzauiilo, Mexico, burst
its confines last month and poured its
waters into the sea. Tho lake was
full of alligators, and the harbor of
sharks. When the monsters met, n
water battlo immediately began, and
it was waged for several days iu the
prcsenco of most of tho peoplo of
Manzanillo. For a long time victory
trembled in the balance, but tho
sharks finally prevailed aud took din
ner on tho last of tho ro uted intru
ders." A colored preacher in translating
the sentence: "The harvest is past,
the summer is over, and we are not
saved," put it: "Do corn has been
cribbed, dere ain't nny more work,
and old Satan Is still fool in' wid dis
m - - -
Iu France when vinegar is to be
made clean, barrel nre ringed with
old vinegar before the new substance
is- put in. The rioting is suid to make
vinogar in, about half the time re
quired without this practice.
When trees are transplanted the
roots are always more or less injured,
hen co it is always best to cut oil the
wounded parts of tho roots aud head
back the top to correspond with roots
On. In't Sub a Hkauty. She la the
peraoniQcatlon of all that' lureljr. Her
dispoaition ia amiable; her mind cultured;
her heart kind and pure all became her
health was restored from using Drown'
Iron llittera. Couiinenti of a leadlug
nlifilctan on i illent he prescribed
ltrown'a Iron Hitter fur. Alt ladlej should
uae it. Journal,
FALL ,',i WINTER OF
Notice to the People of Stanford and Vicinity.
I HAVE J tI8T 11F.CH VF.II AND OPENED
TUB CHOICEST STOCK EVEU BROUGHT ON I
It hit l.wi! flwtM with ctrf, n. romprlM tli twit In lh mtrkcl You will And Mmthlnr that
Brittlau Merchant Tailor ought to h?e, The Mock comprlm
C'liilliN, rnssl Micros IHiiKoiiJilHfiiiilit j,nrKe Selection oJ Warn
loiU from llio ItostMiiiiiiriiclorlcMon'raiiccHiiilKiiKlHiitl.
LAST HUT NOT I.KA8T, A SPLENDID LINE Or'TMMMINUS.
Cutting and Repairing Neatly and Promptly Done.
Thankful for put rafon, I hop-.br atrlcl attention to builnwu, to merit a continuant of the tan.
H. . mjFIrDY.
F. STUKENBORG fc BRO.,
Parlor Suits, &c.
Ko. O land 11 VaxhI Pearl .Street,
YOU WILL MA VK 10 TO IS. IP.n F.KT. nv A
blltvfguuli at our hooMk
French Dressing Case Sets,
Marble Top with Laro Glass,
At 8 15, 850, 8G0, 875 & Upwards.
Bureau Sets, 820, $25, 830 nnd up.
Purlur Suits, Seven Pieces,
Either iii Hair, Cloth or Terry,
At 830, 835, 840, 850 & Upwards.
Visitors to our city are respectful
ly invited to call and sec onr stock
of goods, whetherthey wish to pnr
chase or not
RLMCMRPR T11H l'LACE,
Xiin.SA II l.nt I'rnrl Mt.,!.ourr Nlile,
Nrnr.lnln, liirliinull, Ohio.
JTOH3XT 03E3CTJDFLOI3: xSa OO.,
PIANOS AND OEGANS
Stal M: Mi, and all Kinds of Musical HcrchndiH,
NO. 66 WEST FOURTH S J1., CINCINNATI, O.
Grand PIANOS, Square PIANOS, nuu Upright PIANOS,
ln Rosewood, Saliuwood, Muhogony,
elegant designs to correspond with nny style ot buroiture.
Elegant Parlor Organs, Chapel Organs, Church Organs,
With one Manual, with two Manuals and Pedals, containing ths moat beau
tiful, powerful nud useful combinations ever procured
in reed Instruments.
Ve invite tho public attentiou to our large and well selected stock oi
PIANOS and ORGANS, nnd our uncqualed facilities for furnishing
the best class of instruments nt low rates. We purchase for net cash in
larger quantities than any other house in this city. The expense of our
PIANO and ORGAN Department is far less than some hous
es doing exclusively n Piano and Organ trade. We have reached lower
prices than havo been tendered by any dealers in this market, and guarantee
all instruments ns represented. We sell on easy monthly or quarterly pay
ments, and any instrument taken on trial, not proving as represented, may
be returned at our expense. We solicit correspondence with persons desir
ing to purchase, and take pleasure in answering all inquiries.
JOHN CHURCH & CO.
GEO. D. WEAREN,
STANFORD, LANCASTER and HUST0NVILLE,
Grain, Wool, Orchard Grasss and other Seeds,
DF1 1 Jbu I IT. I 3MC WIAlGrlOlNI
BUGGIES A.3STID OABEIAES,
lteaiKTM, Nclf-liliHler, Momith, Huj -Hake,
iJriiin llrlllH, Coni-lMHiiterH, HulUy IMuuh,
OiiUliatorH, IIiirruuN, Coru-SliellcrH,
NlruH-Ciiltei-H, liny l'rcMiCH, Tbresk
3nu .Hiu'liliii'H hhiI EHjciHen,
And other Implements and Machinery. We buy exclusively from ManBfo4uierfj
direct, for cash, in car-load lots, aud consequently obtain the largest dhoouBt aid
lowest rates of freight. Oar motto is t 'Tirst-ohus Qoodi a: Reasonable PriOM
tho Best is always the Oheapeat." Respectfully,
GEO. D. WEAREN, Stanfoid.Ky.
w, l. ivitiii:s, uur.K.v & williamh,
Manager UucuUr l.t. Uauapn IltuleatllU rft.
Sealers lo All Kindt of
Ml HI W Hil UHMaWr
BETA 1 1. DEALERS IN-
French Walnut and Ebonized Casea, in
JBK W SBn 1 jHk JaK aSH frm
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