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The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, December 07, 1922, Image 3

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I Christmas
- rs ' rrrTmn -r
PAftT l.-Nnrmmrr In a mall town.
yowi neweoaper man, who telle the
etnrjr. In imuMl by tha unarountabla
ctlnna of man who, from tha Win low
of a nn hnuao, apparently haa ronverae
with Invlaibla poraonaira, particularly
mentioning on "Himpleditria." Tha youth
ora to hla aoardlna house, tha hum of
Mra Apprrthwaita, neit dor to tha arena
f tha alrmnca STOceaOlnsa. bewildered.
PART It Newt moraine ha dlaenvars
Ma Strang neighbor la tha Hon tavtd
neaaler. prnminanl politician, and unl
veieally respected. Telling of hla laat
lahl'e aipertenea. ha la anarardlr Inter
rupted by Mlow boarder, a Mr. George
Itoarten. I.ater. with Miaa Apperthwaila.
ha la an uneeen wltneaa of a purely
Imaalnary Jumping rnnleat between Heaa
ley and "Hill llammaralay." Miaa
Apperthwalta appeara deeply rnnreraed,
thera apparently betas no poaslhle s
planatlon of tha Strang proceeding.
PART llt.-Tti reporter learna that
Beaaley and Miaa Apperthwaila had at
ona time been anaafed, and that tha
youna lady had broken tha engagement
berauaa of lleaaley'a "lark of Imagins
Hon." PART IV.-Tha "mretery" of "Simple,
dorla" and pill HammrraleV la el-
filatned by Mr liowdf-n. Meaelea la rar.
ng for a email boy, Hamilton flwift.
Junior, a helpleaa Invalid bodily though
mora than ordinarily briaht mentally, the
aon of dear frlenda who are dead, and
'Himpledorla" and "Hill Hammeraley"
are irealiirea nf Iteaaley'a and the amall
boy'a Imagination. Iteaelay humoring tha
little aufTerer by tha "play acting."
Miaa ApM-rthwnlte wn at home the
following Saturday. I founit her In
the library with "l.e Mlwrnlili'" m.
her knee when I came down from i.i
room lite la before Itiiirh time; a, it)
klie looked up and gave me a atn.li
that made me feel sorry for any one
she liad ceod In anille upon.
"I wanted to tell you." I wild, with
a little awkwardness t'tit l'l"iily o
truth, "I've found out that I'm an aw
ful foot."
tut that'a something." lie returned
encouragingly "at least the hegiunUig
of wisdom."
"Imean about Mr. Hesslcy the
mylery I alwurd enotiKh to tV,ul
In Simpledorla I want to tell you
"Ob. I know," he said; and al
though Rhe laughed with an effect of
carelessness, that look which I tuid
thought "far away" returned to l.tr
eyes aa ahe a poke. There was a cer
tain Inarrutabllity alxuit Mi Apir
Ihwnlte antnetlmea. It Khouhl be add-d.
aji If klie (lid not llVe to be too eaally
rend. "I've htanl all about It. Kir.
tVna'ey'a been apMilnted truwlee or
aomflhlnc for pom llamtlton Swlft'a
aon, a pitiful lit l Invalid boy who in
vent all aorla of character. The old
darky from over there told our cook
-atxiut Illll Hainnii-tKley and Himple
dorla. So, you ee. I untleratand.'"
Tib glad you do, I said.
A little hardneaa one mlsht even
have thotiKht It lilttenieaa liecni.ie
apparent In her expnlon. "And I'M
it'Uil there'a aomolxMly In Hint hoii4M,
at laat. with a little Imagination !"
"Knim everything I have heard," I
returned, aiimiuniilng atittlclctit bo d
ne. "It would be dlltlcult to a-ty
which haa more Mr. Iteanley or the
Her glance fell fnun mine nt thla,
but not quickly enmiKh to conceal a
Nitdden. hnlf alnrllwl bNk oC trouble
(I can think of no other wny to x
preea II) 1 hut leaped Into It; and ahe
rnwe. for the lunch-bell wua ringing.
"I'm Jiiat flnlMhlng Hie death of Jian
Vuljcan, yoa know, lo 'l.ea Mlar
ahlcK,'" ahe aald, aa we moved to the
door. "I'm always afraid I'll cry oer
that. I try not to, because It makes
my eyes red."
And, In truth, thero waa a va,ne
rumor of tears about her eyea not a
If she had shed them, but more a If
he were going to though I had not
not !(! It when I came In.
. That Hfternoon, whet 1
reached the Pcsputch olIUv, I M
I'oimiilxNloncd to tibliiln certain po.lll
ral Informallon from the llonort.ble
IHivId Itenaley, an aHalgnment I ac
cepted with engenieaa, niitwlthslund
Ing the roiumlHcratlon It brought me
from one or two of my fellows In the
reporter'a room. "You won't get any
thing out of him I" they said. And
they were true prophets.
I found him looking over sntno dt4u
ments In his office; a reflective, un
lighted clgnr In the corner of hi
mouth; his rhalr tilted back and his
feet on a window-Mill, lie nodded.
tyoti my statement of tha affair thai
brought Die, and without shifting his
tioslilon, gsvs me a look of slow but
wholly friendly scrutiny over his
shoulder, and bade me alt dowu. I
began at one to put tha queatlona I
waa told to ask him Interrogations
(he seemed to believe) aatlarsctorlly
answered by slowly and rutiilnatlvely
stroking the left alda of his chin with
two long Angers of his right hand, tha
whllo ne smiled In genial contempla
tion of tarred mof beyond, thy win
dow, mow and men he would give"m
a mild and drawling word or two, not
brilliantly Illuminative. It may tie re
marked. "Well about that" he bo
gitn once, and then cam Immediately
to a full atop.
"Teal" I said, hopefully, my pencil
"AlMiut that I guess"
"Yes. Mr. TIcasleyT" I encouraged
him, for be seemed to have dried up
"Well, sir I guess Hadn't you
better see some one else about that?"
This with the air of a man who
would be but too fluent ami copious
Umiii any subject In the world except
Ihe one psrtlculnr voltit.
I never met anybody else who looked
so plessantly communicative and man
aged to any so little. In fact, he didn't
say anything at all; and I guessed
that this faculty was not without It
value In hi political career, disastrous
aa It hod proved to his private happi
ness. His habit of silence, moreover,
waa not cultivated: you could see
thst "the secret of It" was that he was
born quiet. ,
My note-hook remained noteless,
and Anally, at some odd evnlon of
his, nrcotupllMlied by a monosyllable,
I laughed outright and he did, too!
He Joined carhlnnatlons with me
heartily, anil with a twinkling qulzzl-ciilm-nH
that somehow gave me the
Idea Hint he might be thinking (rather
npologetii-ally) to hlmxelf: "Yes. sir.
that old Keasley timn Is certainly a
mighty funny critter!"
When I went swsy. a few moments
Ister. and left him still Intermittently
chiM-klliig. the ImpresHlon remained
with me that he had rome such depre
catory and surreptitious thought.
Two or three days after that, as I
started down-town from Mrs. Apper
thwalte'a, lleuMley came out of his
gate, bosind III the same direction. He
gave me a look of gay recognition and
offered bis hand, saying, "Well ! I'p
In ttils neighborhood !" as If that were
a matter of considerable astonishment.
I mentioned that I a neighbor,
and we walked on together. I don't
think be spoke again, except for a
"Well, sir!" or two of genial surprise
at something I said. and. now and
then, "You don't tell me!" which he
had a most eloquent way of exclaim
ing; but be listened visibly to my own
talk, and laughed at everything that
I meant for funny.
I never knew anybody who gave ona
a greater resHinslveness; he seemed
to be with you every Instant ; and how
he nmde you feel It was the true mys
tery of Itcuxley, this silent man who
never talked, except (a my cousin
suld) to children.
It haiH'iicd that I thus met him, ax
we were both starting down town, and
walked on wlih him, several dtiys In
succession ; In a word, it became a
linlilt. Then, one nfternoon, as I
turned to leave him at the iH-spiitcb
olllce, he asked me If I woald drop In
at hi house the in-xt day for a cigar
before I started. 1 did ; and he asked
me If I would come ngiiln tha day
after I tin t. So this became a hahll
A fortnight ehipxed beiore I met
Humlltou Swift. Junior; for he, pool
little fn'hiT of dreuni-cliildren, could
be no spei-tutor of track events upon
the lawn, but lay In bis bed upstair
However, he grew better at last, and
my presentation took place.
We had Just finished our cigars In
Reaxley's airy, old fashioned "silting
room," and were rising to go, when
there enme the fulut creaking of small
wheel from the hall. Iteusley turned
to me with the apologetic and mono
ayllublc chuckle that waa distinctly
his alone.
"I've got a little chap here " he
aald; then went to the door. "Hob!"
The old darky apM-ared in the door
way pushing a little wagon Ilka a re-rlliilng-chulr
on wheels, and lu It sat
Hamilton Swift, Junior.
My first ImpresHli n of him was that
ha was all eyes: I couldn't look at any
thing else for a time, end wua hardly
conscious of the rest of that wea
cened, peuked little face and the under
sized wisp of a hotly with Its pathetic
adjuncts of metal and leather. I think
they were the brightest ayes I ever
saw aa keen and Intelligent as a
wicked old woman's, withal aa trust
ful and cheery aa tha eyea of setter
"I loo-ray r
Thus tha Honorable Mr. Peasley.
waving a handkerchief thrlco around
hla head and thrlco cheering.
Aad tho child, In that cricket's
votes of his, replied:
"Br-r-ra-vo 1"
This waa tha form of aalutatlon fa
miliarly In uaa betwesn tbstn. Beat-
ley followed (I by Inquiring; "Who's
with os todsyT"
"I'm Mister "wlft," chirped tha llttlo
fellow. "Mls-ter "wlft. If you please,
Ooastn fnvld Beasley."-
Ileasley executed a formal bow.
"There Is a gentleman hero who'd Ilka
to meet yon." And he presented me
with some grave phrases commenda
tory of my general character, address
ing the child aa "Mister wlft" J
whereupon Mister Swift gava ma
ghostly lltle hand and professed him
self glad to meet mc. I
"And besides me," ho added, to
Beasley, "there'a BUI Hammersley and
Mr. Corley Mnbtidge."
A fslnt perplexity manifested Itself
upon Beaxley'a face at thla, a shadow
which cleared at once when I asked If
I might not lie permitted to meet these
personages, remarking that I had
heard from Towden of BUI Hammera
ley, though until now a stranger to
the fame of Mr. Corley Mnbrldge.
Beasley performed tht ceremony
with Intentional elegance, while tha
"boy's great eyea swept glowingly from
his cousin's fsce to mine and back
agin. I bowed and shook hands with
the air, one to my left and one to
my right
"And Himpledorla!" fried Mister
Awfft. "You'll enjoy Himpledorla."
"Above all thlnga." I aald. "Can k
shake hapdaf Soma dogs can."
-Walih him!" Vnster Swift lifted
commanding finger, "Simpledorla,
shake hands!"
I knelt beside tha wagon and shook
an Imaginary big paw. At thla Mister
Swift again shook hands with me and
allowed me to perceive. In his luml
nons regard, solemn commendation
and approval.
In this wise was my Initiation Into
the beautiful old house and the cor
diality nf Its Inmates completed; and
I became a familiar of Pavld Beasley
and his ward, with the privilege to go
and come as I pleased; there waa al
waya guy and friendly welcome. I al
ways came for the cigar after lunch,
sometimes for lunch Itself; sometimes
I dined there Instead of down town;
and now and then when It happened
that an errand or assignment took me
that way In the afternoon. I would run
In and "visit" awhile with Hamilton
Hwlft, Junior, and his circle of frlenda.
There were daya, of course, when
his attacks were upon him. and only
Beasley and the doctor and old Bob
aaw him ; I do not know what the boy'a
mental condition was at such times;
but when be was better, and could be
wheeled about the house and again re
ceive callers, he displayed an almost
dismaying activity of mind It was ac
tive enough, certainly, to keep far
ahead of my own. And he waa mas
terful: still, Beasley and Powden and
I were never directly chidden foi In
subordination, though made to wince
painfully by the look of troubled sur
prise that met us when we were not
quick enough to catch hla meaning.
The order of the day with him al
waya begun with the "Hoo-ray" and
"Br-r-ra-vo" of greeting; after which
we were to Inquire, "Who's with us to
day?" Whereupon he would make
known the character In which he elect
ed to be received for the occasion. If
he announced himself as "Mister
Swift," everything was to be very
grown-up and decorous Indeed. For
malities and distances were observed;
and Mr. Corley Llnhrldge (an elderly
personage of great dignity and distinc
tion aa a mountain-climber) waa much
oftener Included In tha conversation
than Bill Hammersley. If, however,
he declared himself to be "Hamilton
Swift. Junior." which was his happiest
mood, Bill Hammersley and Simple
dorla were In the ascendant, and thera
were games and contests. (IViwden,
Bcaxley and I all slid down the ban
later on one of the Hamilton Swift,
Junior, dnya, at which really pictur
esque spectacle the boy almost cried
with laughter and old Bob and his
wife, who came running from the
kitchen, did cry.) He bad a third ap
pellation for himself "Just little Ham
ilton ;" hut this was only when the
creaky voice could hardly chirp at all
and the weazened face was drawn to
one side with suffering. When he told
us lie wss "Just little Hamilton" we
were very quiet.
Once, for ten days, his Invisibles all
went away on a visit : Hamilton Swift,
Junior, had become Interested In
bear. While this lasted, all of Bens
ley's trousers were, as Pnwden said,
"a sight." For that matter, Powden
himself was quite hoarse In court
from growling so much. The bears
were, dismissed abruptly;. Bill. Ham-
Dowdtn, Beasley and I All Slid Down
tha Banisters on Ona of tha Ham
ilton Swift, Junior, Day.
mersley inJ KTr. Corley TJnbrldge and
Simpledorla came trooping bark, and
with them they brought that wonderful
family, the Hunchbergs.
Beasley had Just opened the front
door, returning at noon from his of
fice, when Hamilton Swift, Junior's,
voice came piping from the library,
where he wss reclining In his wagon
by the window.
"Cousin Pavld Bensley ! Cousin Pa
vld. come a-runnlng!" he cried. "Come
a running ! The Hunchbergs are here !"
Of course Cousin Pavld Beasley
came a-runnlng, and wa Immediately
Introduced to the whole Hunchherg
family, a ceremony which old Bob,
who was with the boy. had previously
undergone with courtly grace.
"They like Boh." explained Hamil
ton. "IKm't you. Mr. Hunchherg? Yes.
he Miy they do extremely!" (He used
sucj words as "extremely" often : In
deed, as iHiwden snld. he talked "like
a mild In a book." which was due. I
dare any, to his Kngllsh mother.) "And
I'm sura," the boy went on. "that ail
the family wIM aom're Cousin Pavld.
Yas, Mr. Hunchherg says, he think
they will."
ml then (as Bob told me) he went
tlmost out of bis head with Joy when
P.insley offered Mr. Hunchherg a cigar
and struck a mutch for lilm to light It.
"But whar," exclaimed the old
darky, "whur In de name o de good
Guwd do de chile get detn nnmes? Hit
luk to skeer me!"
Tliut was a subject often debated
between Powden ond me: there wa
nothing In Wnlnwright thot could have
suggested them, nnil It did not seem
probable he could have remembered
them from over the water. In my opin
ion they wire the inventions of that
busy ami lonely little bruin.
I met the Hunchherg fuuiily, myse'f,
the day after their arrival, and Betis
ley, by that time, had become so well
acquainted with them thut he could
remember all their mimes, and helped
In the Introduction. There was Mr.
Hunchlierg evidently the child's fa
vorite, for he was described aa the
possessor of every engaging virtue
and there was that lively matron, Mrs.
Hunchherg ; there were the Hunchberg
young gentlemen, Tom, Noble and
Grandee; and the young ladles. Miss
Queen, Miss Marble and Miss Molunua
all exceedingly gay and pretty.
There was also Colonel Hunchberg, an
uncle; finally there was Aunt Cooley
Hunchberg, a somewhat decrepit but
very amiable old lady. Mr. Corley
Llnhrldge happened to be calling at
the same time; end, as It appeared to
be Beasley'a duty to keep the conver
sation going and constantly to Include
all of the party In Its general flow, It
struck me that he had truly (as Pow
den said) "enough to keep him busy."
The Hunchbergs bad lately moved
to Walnwrlght from Constantinople, I
learned; they had decided not to live
In town, however, having purchased a
fine farm out In. the country,, and, on
The Surety
of Purity
There are no miraclea In cook
ing. What goea into th food
must inevitably come out.
Eren tho baking perfection
that results from tho use of
Royal Baking Powder is 00
It b simply tho result of ab
solute purity entering tho
food 'and emerging again.
Royal is made from Cream of
Tartar derived from grapes.
( Contains No Ahan
Loavot No Bittor Tastm
account nf the dlsfancc, were able to
call at Beasley'a only about eight
times a day, and seldom more than
twice In the evening. Whenever a
mystic telephone announced that they
were on the way, the child would have
himself wheeled to a window j and
when they came In sight he would cry
out In wild delight, while Beasley has
tened to open the front door and ad
mit them.
They were so resl to the child, and
Beasley treated them with such con
sistent seriousness, thst between the
two of them 1 sometimes began to feel
that there actually were such people,
and to have momenta of half-surprise
that I couldn't see them; psrtlcularly
aa each of the Hunchbergs developed
a character entirely hla own to the
laat peculiarity, such as the aged
Aunt Cooley Hnnchberg's deafnesa, on
which account Bealey never forgot to
raise his voire when he addressed her.
Indeed, the details of actuality In all
this appeared to bring as great a de
light to the tnan as to the child. Cer
tainly he built them up with Infinite
care. On one occasion when Mr.
Hunchberg and I happened to be call
ing, Hamilton remarked with aurprlse
that Simpledorla had come Into the
room without ticking hla hand aa he
usually did, and had crept under the
table. Mr. Hunchberg volunteered the
Information (through Beasley) that
upon his approach to the house he had
seen Simpledorla chasing a cat It
was then debated whether chastise
ment was In order, but finally decided
that Slmplfdorla's surreptitious man
ner of entrance and hla hiding under
the table were sufficient Indication
that he well understood his baseness,
and would never let It happen again.
And so, Beasley having coaxed him
out from nnder the table, the offendet
"sat up," begged, and was forgiven. 1
could almost feel the splendid shaggy
head under my hand when. In turn. I
patted Slnpledorla to show that the
reconciliation was unanimous.
(Continued Next Weak)
(Continued from Page Two)
sons ror the happening, rr is irnoWn
that because of the belief In high con
aervaflve places that the campaign
waa one to enme extent of mlsunder
atanding. they are going to try. If they
can, to conduct an educational cam
paign which they hope will result In
changing the views of some of the
voters to coincide with the viewpoint
of conservative Republicanism.
It Is certain from the signs of the
times that fcoth conservative Repub
licans, and such of their liberal breth
ren as are giving no thought to a third
party, believe that if the party la to
be assured of success In 1924 thera
must be a getting together of the fac
tions. Varying Cures for Economic Ilia.
In the next congress economic re
lief certainly will be sought for vari
ous elements In American Industrial
life. Conservative Republicans say
that economic distress here, there and
elsewhere can be relieved by medicine
which la not so drastic as that pre
scribed or likely to be prescribed by
the doctors of what they call the new
school of therapeutics. The Republi
can leaders of the newer economic
school of thought, however, say that
their auggested remedies are specifics
and that therefore they should be ap
plied. The result will be, probably,
ttat the representatives of the two
schools of medicine will confer to
gether nnd reach some kind of an
agreement which both of thein may
hink la necessary to keep the school
of Republicanism In continued ses
sion. Now while these differences and dif
ficulties, too patent to be Ignored, are
besetting Republicans, the Pemocratlc
doctors ore preparing to prescribe
their own course of treatment, know
ing well enough that the Republican
leaders will urge that It Is In no way
curative. The opiawitlon doctors will
suggest their proper treatment cures i
to the country na a patient In the hope I
that In 1024 their diagnosis of diseases
will be sanctioned and that they will '
be put In charge of the Government
Sanitariums, If I'ncle Sam will for
give one for so ratling bis big go vara-
Uientul Institutions.
Precedence Rules In Washington.
Congress Is Here iigalu, struggling
with legislative projects, some of
which the members like and some of
which they do not like a little bit.
There are some things Just now in
Washington, however, to hold part of
the attention. Um-e In a while It la,
or tuny be, a good thing to get away
from politics and legislation. It la a
bit restful.
Washington la a social place. It haa
to be. The entente cordlale, aa wa
think the diplomats call It. could not
be maintained at high pitch aud yet In
full tune If uftlclui activities were al
lowed to lag. Congresa dances, diplo
macy dances, the Judiciary dunces, and
the rest of the Washington community
It Is true that this fall new members
of congress are not much In evidence,
for they will not appear until the be
ginning of an extra session next spring.
If there be one, or until the begluulng
of the regular session next December.
Nevertheless some few of tliem are
here househunting. When they do
come, the good women of their house
hold will nnd that they have certain
dutlea to perforin after a manner new
to them.
Washington la a regular India for
castes. Society In wsy la tha test
of tha theme, so let eoiue of the diffi
culties which beset Incoming congress
men'a wives be made known.
Thlnga tha Wives Must Knew.
Tha capital la a great stickler for
precedence, and yet thla is s democracy.
When Mrs. flepremiituilve errlvee Tier
It la her first social duty to call o
Mra. Senator. If she doea not do It
she never will meet Mra. Senator -cept
by accident. Mra. Senator will re
turn the call after It la made.
It la the duty of the Incoming Mrs,
Senator to call on Mrs. Associate Jn
lice of the Supreme court. If aha doea
not do It she never will sea Mra Asso
ciate Justice of the Supreme court el
cept by accident. In other words, tha
lowly must csll first on the mighty,
and thla condition of things must re
vsll until, through the whirligig of pol
ities or presidential appointment, in
lowly become the mighty, and then tha
thing la reversed and the former Mrs.
Mighty has to call flrst on the former
Mrs. Lowly.
There I a lot of humor In thla thing,
but the procedure la aa fixed. If one
can use a bromide, a were the lawa of
the Medea and I'erslana. This prece
dence thing has bothered certain of
th authorltlea In Washington since
th beginning of the republic, and th
heart-burnings of some of the women,
and some of the men also, have been
a lasting affliction.
Gideon Welws, secretary of tli navy
In the Lincoln administration, kept a
diary. Tears after his death It wss
published, and It makes mighty Inter
esting reading. 'Trecedence" was a
thorn In Lincoln's day and Wellea telle
a somewhat delightful story.
He aays that Scnuyler Colfax, thee
speaker of the house of representa
tives, came to him one day and aald
that Mrs. Welles ought to call on Mra.
Colfax, who was not the wife of th
spesker, but his mother. Welles Inti
mated that he thought It ought to be
the other way. William H. 8ewsrd.
who then was secretary of state, waa
supposedly a diplomat of rare ability.
It seems that Colfax went to the sec
retary of state with this high matter
of precedence, and then he went to
Wellea and said, "Seward declarj
Mrs. Welles ought to call on Mrs. Col
fax flrst."
Then Welles says. In effect. In hla
diary, "Seward never did know much,
anyway." Perhaps It might be said
here that Welles was no great admirer
of Lincoln's secretnry of state.
One Unsettled Question.
It never lias been quite settled which
takes precedence In society, the cabi
net of the President or the Supreme
court of the United States. Generally,
however. It Is admitted that the cabi
net ranks the court. Sometimes, how
ever, the wife of a Supreme court Jus
tice holds out on the question of her
supposed privileges and wants the wife
of the cabinet officer to call flrst. There
seems to have been a way of fixing op
these things, however, and nothing un
toward ever has happened.
The women of the cabinet have re
ceiving days and all who want to come
may. It Is one of the first dutlea of
the wife of a newly-elected senator or
representative to leave a card at th
White Housaand then cards at tha res
idence of the wives of the cabinet
members. If they happen to have wives.
This establishes things, and while cab
inet women do not do much calling, be
cause. If they stnrted out to do It, they
would have to do too much of It, they
accept Invitations to general affair
given by the wlvea of senators aad
Motor Driven by-Starlight
A motor driven by starlight haa bees
invented by an American scientist. Dr.
W. W. Coblenta or Washington, aaya
the Mentor Magazine. So sensitive la
the Instrument, which measures beat
radiation from the stars, that It will
detect an electric current of one-bu-Itonth
of an ampere. Or. to put It more
graphically. It is possible to measure
the beat given off by the most distant
star by means of electricity generated
by Its -heat. If the heut from a certain
nebula composed of 105 ttara. hun
dreds of millions of miles from tha
earth, were concentrated on 00 drop
of water for lot) years, the tempera
ture of the water would be raised one
degree only, Doctor Coblenta says. .
Change of Diet.
Apropos the recent "lean" years In
the Northwest when the farmers and
homesteaders hud such a hard tlm
to "get by":
HotneHteader (to storekeeper)
Gimme a stub of bacon!
Storekeeiier ISig or little slab?
"Biggest slub you've got. I've eates,
so durn uiuiiy cotton-tulls and Jack
rabbits that every time I hear a dog
bark 1 run under the, porchj' Judge.
Vicarious Exertion.
"Are you still taking exercise to
music J"
"No," aald Dubwalte, "I'm taking It
by proxy."
"Uow'a thatr
"I alt In a cabaret and watch th
leader of a Jazs orchestra call on the
aasophone player'
IP you are "getting along in year."
you don't need to sit in a chimney
comer and dream of the day when
you were full of life and vitality.
Keep your blood rich and pure and
your svstem built up with Gude'a
Pepto-Maiigan, and you will (eel
stronger, younger and livelier than you
have for years, tiet it today and
watch the result.
Your druggist haa Cudc't liquid or
titbit u, aa you prefer.
Tonic and Blood Enrich

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