The Benton weekly record. [volume], April 09, 1880, Image 1

About The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885

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VOL V. BENTON, MONTANA FRIDAY- APRIL 9, 1880. N
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TO V. ,ETN MNAB RDP:PI 9, 1880. NO. 4ae
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Poetry.
IABDI HAS GONE TO SCHOOL.
Tlhe bith" has gone to school; all. me!
What will the mother do,
Wit h niver v -all to button or fin,
ir alit' til e ho jtne?
, : can t keep herself bus'y aill da,
\cV lii t " 'pttle '"hin'dering thing twity?
S .h 1b:-ket : t 1 ! f c with lunch.
,":t] it i Iitll lelii rlnYt;
.%,), ,rn- with a sigh that is hial relief,
1iI hi: i :t a omtethin o aktin to grief.
l thin: of a ,sibvle letu't torn,'ii
".\ h tn th e c ]ild r e nI. O il ; b y o n e ,
Wl, g froii their home out into the word,
To battle tw ith li'fe alone.
And! not e.en the ta y i left to cihccr
lhT d, htte ,onc of that futurell year.
i ,t : ' a'it rl e't it n - there and there,
' throlt.,n d~t owl in careles -: haste, l
Awl I rl't t toill t IO ou it h ould seem
If othintg Were stapl ced;
if thi: holmoe were a ,rlvaiysa still as thifs,
IJ , titls, rto l ear tht1o to d mlin - li
'HILE STAGE-DRIVElt.
, Story of a Californiian Who
Tieon it tWorld Wide lRenow n. i
The story ef Charley PaIrkhust, the ntlo
ti 'aliforni stage-drive r, reads more like
very inttres ting sketches of Charley. lie
flm t ,iPNeared on the box-seat of the stage
I.,h ruiltming fromiti Oakland to Sant Jose;
afterlthtl, driving front Stockton to 3ltari
poa, :ul againt froml Sao ln hLant Io Santa
Il'.Ti. The t!out, co ilp:tet figture of about:
five fiet six, broader across tihe hlips than
'ero' the ihlouldlers, the sunbrowned fate, 1
heardless save for a few straggling downy
lirs, th19 bluish-gray eyes and sharp,
high-t itihed voice, the set but, not un
j1ihasait Ilfeatures, mtioved now and then
with a lare sor tile, thie deliberate move
lent which seertms to be a fashion with the t
fraternity, were as familiar to thie passeti
gl oin these routes as theroteo chl uck-holeso in
itrmmer. lHow he drifted to California in s
the lrist days of the gohl-nrining fever is n
net ex ctly known, for in that time of f
hurry, bustle and struggle the ordinary 1'
inasnsliinig man was very likely to be c
o;-rlookt' d. Hils true tnamre, even, in tlhe
light of p:,'.sent circtrilstances, has become c
aiat:li' of conjecture. 'le generally- t
aclepte4 st.ory of te late lte Charles Park
rstll i ti, however, as follows:
ile wa hborn, it is stated, in New tiamp- ti
uhire, antl worked on a farm with his uncle el
until a quarrel arose between the two,
when (thhrley removed to Providence, R.
1. 'l'There he remained for some time as )
coaihrtan itn the employ of a 3Mr. Childs. n
From Providenee lie went to Georgia, and
belame a siatage-driver, continuinr g in that
State and occupation for two years. lhe e
tii, further to state that one Jim Birch, ii
iati;tig his capabilities as a driver, tr
l.riongi4 him to California and placed hin et
tpoln an opposition line to drive fronl Oak- Il
and to Sti l ose. tit
Whatever question there tmay be about w
ithi story, there is none as to his ellicieney w
on the driver's perch, nor as to the unfail- ti
ing nerve that lay beneath his ordinary ex- Ia
terior. An incident in his early career as li
sirtge-driver will illustrate this. Once in
winter, whlen thie rain was coming downl
in she etfs, ais it had been for three days
past. ad lllthe coach wais laboringt along
throuigh lltld arimost to thi e lhubs, Park-ntt
hlrFt was hailled by a stray wayfarer, a!nd a
toml that the bridge across the T''olumne
river was in a shaky condition, and that it 1
worid be wise not to risk driving over it. T
'ilrkhurist alisweredl never al word, buit li
'atheriIg pll thle lines with one hand, hie ti
itt te swings and wheelers across thle al
tliches with the other, and pushied on. to
Soon1 thie swollen stream catle il lsht. of
twas swashing and roaring like a mill- n
ooe. The bridge was next seen. alnd Park- in
siust.' learing the rain from his eyes, per- th
:eived that in a very sholt time there would s
i, longer be any bridge, for it was already Ol
Iaking oil its foundation. The solitary en
sellnger begged of Parkhurst not to ven- or
thil l lire erel cig structulre, lbut Char- bit
iy, seoltliting his teeth together, itrd gather- bi
ng the reis withl a firm grip, sent the Cd
ig whipt-lash iurling abtout the leader's i
u)rt and ores with so vsteous a swirng that,
icing a wikl leap, they plunged forward t
Sto tlhe bridge. The plantiks treombled of
tidtr the horses' hoofs and rocked beneath dr
he wheels, hut with a final effort, a cheer- rm
ng cry fr'otr Ptrkhurst and ti flying lash, the
he pposiheo i shore was gaininne in salafty: ro
ainted only just in time, though, for, look- m
ig back at thre trn of tire road, tile fur-il
ler end of tlie bridge was seon to sway l
ver the streatr for a moment and then go li
mbiingingto the waters. tist
There were olther dangers on this Stock- ex
i alltd Mariposa rl oadtr an those of flood, be
ot higlswaymen aboundedtre, a nd tle one could
ilever tll where prougress might be stop- it
,1 ty a levelled shrot-gun, a mtiaskeeld manT g
rabbing trhe leader's headstall, and tihe ct
iarse 'tromimiandl to throw ollt the treasure- it
ix, larkhursIt had nrot long been rtun
Ing when sotuch an interruption ocerredl. gre,
e irtce stwas offered huim, in thre gloam- ii I
t of a certain evening, between receiv- gre
g thre eronitents of two double-barrelled we
St-guts and delivering up the contents fli
t strong chest. Parkhurst looked at T
figures disguised with hideous-looking tm
1ill, land marsks made oruti of legs of draw
Stpulletd down over their fices, with two mt
-lIs eut in them for the eves, and was frie
isposed to parley. The ominous finger- ilri
g of two triggers, and the knowledge w:i
lat his little gun was ineessible, very tttg
'arly decided him, whilst a pistol-barrer iIt
s cttei tht near leader's off ear afford- 20ti
tih iotvinciig proofthat, for the nrorree, IPtir
tretion wouirt lie the better part of valor, the
tO botX was dropped, but with it Park- dei
rst gave the warning that he woutld not
i'natters stolt there, anid that someelhe ,tire
olhiir tire sarrle gentnian, or' art'i of the big
lid, ihotlhi hear l'"rott him in a less pleas- d e
t war. fort
After that Parkhurst was not only for
er o his guard, but was always on the
bout for chance to get even with the
ad-agents. The chance was not long in
nlug. There was at that time a noted
tperado known as Sugar Foot. Going
re and there, terrorizing the passengers
a0dozen routes, Sugar Foot at last de
d to change his base of operations to
olVaras road. It is probable that he
h Ie heard of Parkhurst's threat, for he
inted with himself for the enterprise
Sa posse of ighwaylv en.
te alomlent of attack was chosen, the
ie being inulluentced by the report of a
o booty to be obtained, and whilst
khurst was one day driving back from
"isa to Stockton, Sugar Foot and his
.{lejlaed illto the road. There was the
idetuland, tile iusual tactics of wicked
Dztlpoinating at tile driver, and a rough
ot tte letaderl,-' heads. But there was
age firo tihe usual programme whten
Sfrest drawing ar pistol, let fly right
ift, Wad with a pull on the reins and a
oithe horse sent them flying through
f coonditted robbers. Charley had
gati at th an who appeared to head
titlgt, and had the pleasure of seeing
la-sp his hands to his breast and tum
tkward. Thie shot was fatal to Sugar
.predatory excursions, for whilst his
tO a fled, he crawled into a miner's
or gave up his sinfil ghost.
arc! other stories told of Parkhurst
a tl, todaring conduct of the man in
I difirculties and dangers. It is
in, once, while driving a ftactious
t(a. fro. r Oakland to SanaJose,
h . rawy so soddenly as to throw
. from the box. still xetaiining
g on the lines, he was dragged
It lolt ueeeded in turning the
Srunaways into a chaparral, where they
caught among some bushes and stopped.
T--- o show their admiration of the driver's
pluck, the passengers made up and pre
sented him with a purse of twenty dollars.
Again, when drivers were scarce he did
double duty by driving both ways over the
road, keeping the box night and day, and
earning double pay for months. During
career as stage-driver he was kicted by a
frisky horse in the left eye so violently as
to destroy the siiht. it was from the loss
of this organ that lihe received the nick
name "One-Eyed Charley," by which he
was commonly called.
SLeaving the Calaveriarroad, he took the
position of boss driver on the Oaklapd and
San Jose road, where, as on the Calaverats
line, he made himself a favorite with all'
'who traveled with him by his pleasant,
quiet behaevior and cool resolution. He
'iadded to his- reputation on the San Juan
and Santa Cruz road, where he was known 1
as one of the crack drivers and best whips
in California.
Altogether he sat on the stage-coach seat a
for fifteen years, and only abandoned his e
petty throne when the steam horse invaded e
bo his province and he saw that ichabod was h
wiitten over the balmy days of staging. f
Even whilst driving, Parkhurst had occa
in- sionally in winter time varied his employ- p
ke nenat by following the trade of lumber- c
lie man. In the woods, as behind hIis six-in- ft
s ihand, he gained the name of being expert I
ce and thoroughly reliable. The heaviest
e- work was never shunned. HIe wielded the
axe with such vigor and skill that he was ft
i- reckoned an A No. 1 woodmlan. Farming,
ta too, was a calling which lie seemed at home g
utt in, so when lie stepped down from the
an stage-coach for the last time it was not to tl
.e, he shiftless and idle for want of any other
iy employment.
P About the year 1858 he dropped the whip 'M
n- and reins, and opened a station and saloon is
Sonl the road between Watsonville and Santa
e- Cruz, at a point half way between the Ap- li
fie tos Laguna anti the lirst heavy sand-hill as
-i you go toward Watsonville. At this place
lln he furnished the hay and grain for the Of
n stage horses on contract, got also fair
is wages per month for taking care of the cli
if teams, etc., and kept his bar and stopping- e,
place beside. Hie smoked, chewed tobacco, to
e drank moderately, played a social game of th
i cards or dice for the drinks, and was "one elc
t of the boys." Parkhurst, however, was 1e
never addicted to k ose life.
S Thorugh usually cheery and agreeable wi
with those into whose society he was ho
thrown, lie was always inclined to be reti
cent about his affairs. That is lie was so- at
cial, hut never communicative; a pleasant liti
but never a joyful companion. lie had no loi
particular friends either on the roads or it
in the fields, and was not disposed to be to
what is known as "chummy." Especially we
was he not a love-maker; and pettico ats, boy
, even when surmounted by a trim bodice a
andl a pretty face, were without special at
tractions. There was, at one time, an ownll- th
er of both petticoat and face who seemed to for
have made a little deeper impression than wa
the rest of her sex. Near the ranch on wh
which P arkhurst first settled lived a widow lie
with an only dlaughter. Some how or other cal
they did not prosper, and misfortune at tra
last overtook them in the shape of a sher- hot
iff's sale. Parkhurst bought the place and fine
gave it back to the widow; and though it lad
was said at the time that the good deed hei
was !prompted by the daughter's good offi
looks, the report is nullified by the fact
t.!at soon after lie left the neighborhood ngr
and settled near Watsonville.
Parkhurst's celibacy was not enforced are
iby poverty, as the neighbors very well
knew, for, being of a saving disposition, he
h;lpd amnassed a comfortable fortullle of some stI.
thoutsands of dollars; that is, a comfort- I
able fortune inasmuch as it was sufticient tthe
to insure him a competency. In the course pee
of tilme he renlted out his station, and went dre
into the cattle-raising business. After rais- yot
ing quite a herd of cattle, he sold out of grm
that business, anld, being ti sufferer from Do
sciatic rheumatism, he sought a less labori
ous avocation, and went to raising chick- pin
ens ill the hills back of Aptos. In this pec
occupation he continued for some years, tele
but finally yielded to his rheumatic trou- clei
blis, and soldl his ranch to a Portuguese, of t
depositetd the proceeds, or a part of them, kiw
in tlhe Bank of Watsonville, atnd retired call
from active life to live on the interest of the 1o0
money. sear the Seven-Mile House, out fice
of Watsoniville, is a little cabin, and there, 'It
during the latter years of his life, Park- qua
hurst has resided. He was well known to was
the townlspeople and those on the sur- of,
roundinig farms as 'i quiet elderly gentle- rept
man of about sixty years of age, badly af- had
flicted with rheumatism; not given to mitl
talking much, but apparently contented to Kin
live unnoticed and tlone. This rheuma- Kin
itism was the natural result of the extreme nen
exposure and hard work to which he had A
been subjected all his lifetlime. er cl
The winters' snows in the woods, the
years passed with his face turned unflinch
ingly to the wind antid rain, and his general
carelessness as to results, played havoc
with what must have originally have been
a constitution of iron. His rheumatism
grew from bad to worse, until it resulted
in the withering of the members, and he
grew almost helpless. Then, as if his ills
were not crushing enough, he became af
flicted with a cancerous tongue and mouth.
This was his death-wound, so to speak;
and, feeling that this world was slipping
from his grasp, he very quietly hired a
man to attend to his. needs; and telling a
friend that he was going to die, directed
him what to do with his bclonwings, and
waited paiiently for. a relief to his suffer
ings, which had now become most acute.
That relief came on Sunday, December
29th, when Charles Durey Parkhurst, re
puted native of New il:ampshire, voter of
Ithe State of California, aged sixty-seven,
departed this life.
With his last breath Charles Pairkhurst,
the daring driver, the fearless fighter of
highwaymen, the strong lumberman, pass
ed out of existence, and in his place was
found something gentler and more tender.
With the death of one who was always
more or less a mystery, was born onie that
shadows the other into utter insignificance.
The (lead man was being prepared for his
last resting place, i-hen the astonishing
discovery was made by those fulfilling the
sad o(lice that (he clay beneath their hands
was that of a woman! With astonish
ment it a deception so marvellously car
ried out comes the sad thought of all she
must have sulfered. It is useless to waiste
in conjectures as to what led the dead to
take up the cross of a man:s laboring life;
but whether from necessity or phantasy,
the certainty remains that in the latter
years there must have been many dark
hours whien poor Charley Parkhurst long
ed for a little of the sympathy which is
accorded to every womau.
Josh Billings' Sayings.
The rod, judishiously applied, iz the ton
ic for man or beast.
I admire policy in others, but despite it
in myself.
The ambishun of one-haff the world is
to excite the envy of the otlier haff.
The kuntry iz a good place to studdy
dandylions, mules and heifers, but when
ye curm to human natur, in all its ramifik
ashuns, give me the citty.
The great diffikulty that manny people
have in fixing-their aktual importance in
this world arise.from the Ifakt that, they
studdy their nabers insted ov studding
themselfs.
"It iz barely possible that a man phiskial
ly ded may be brought to life again; but
once morally or mentally ted, he is almost'
sure to be a gone goose fbrevet
I never talk tiak to oany of these great
talkers; I have diskovered that be wou.l
irehlmnselfoUt in insthfftlh atime I could.
hey FUTNIYY M1ISTAlKES.'
er's Tales of the Telegraph.
irc
ire. A young German lieutenant, wounded
lid in the Franco-German war, went for his
the health's sake to a quiet village in Vaud,
nd where he found a sweetheart. By the
ing time he had regained his health the pair
V a was engiged; then came a sudden order to
as report himself at Berlin, an order he of
os course obeyed. At first his disconsolate Ma
_ rie was comforted by frequent]etters full of
e potestations of low ad constancy; ibut as
time . , oSl f e ieuteniiant plied his pen
h . less often, d moderated its outporings.
Ad At last he suffered six weeks to go without
a word. He was expecting a reproachful
all remindcr, when a telegram arrived from
at the faithful girl, which may be thus tians
lie lated: "Dear Fritz, I have just received a
an letter informing ine that my uncle, a rmil
n lionarie in the East Indies, is dead, and
ps that I am his sole heiress."
Fritz felt his love revive as he read. He
at applied for leave of absence, arid was soon
is exchanging greetings with the swiss maid
ed en. Though the coming of her lover filled
as her heart with joy, she could not refrain
from gently upbraiding him for his silence.
"Don't let us speak of it, dearest," re
plied he. "There is no longer any obsta
cle to our union. The unexpected good
fortune which Providence has sent us has
rt removed the objections of my parents: a
fortune so colossal-" a
e "Fritz," interrupted Marie, "do not make i
s fun of me."
For answer the lieutenant drew her tele
e gram out of his pocket, and showed her b
the words: "My uncle, a millionaire in
the East Indies, is dead."
r The poor girl. dropping his hand, said,
"Dear Fritz, I wrote, 'My uncle, a miosirn
rlre.' IIe has left me all lie had, which
is just a hundred and ninety-six francs."
Fritz went back to Berlin, freed from
h is engagement.
A somewhat suspicious feat of transmu- 01
tation was accomplished by an American
operator for the benefit of a trader, who,
fortunate enough to overtake an absconding
clerk and obtain full restitution from the m
seemingly repentent thief, telegraphed to at
to his wife: "Found Galusha, hope better A
f things." She, reading, "Found gal, shall at
elope and get her things," she took the st
next train for the scene of action. to
A wiser course than that adopted by the
wife of a Boston clergyman, who arrived in
home just in time to stay her as she was he
"going back to her mother," after reading he
a telegram to her husband, running, "The of
little darlings are doing well and looking 1'
lovely; send money for their board;" and 0o
it took all that clergyman's eloquence sti
to convince her that the little darlings pe
were a couple of rarely-bred pups he had on
bought in New York, and left in charge of cr1
a dog fancier. he
The laugh, howeveris not always against su
the ladies. A noble lord, as proud and th
fond as a man should be of his young wife,
was just about rising to speak in a debate, foa
when a telegram was put into his hands. arc
He read it, left the House, jumped into a na
cab, drove to Charing Cross, and took the pe.
train to Dover. Next day lie returned lie
home, rushed into his wife's room, and it
finding her there, upbraided the astonished me
lady in no measured terms. She protested of
her ignorance of having done anything to the
offend him.
"Then what did you: mean by your tele
gramin ?" he asked. itt
"Mean? What I said, of course. What ash
are you talking about?" of
"Read it for yourself," said he. see
She read: "I flee with Mr. - to Dover str
stright. Pray for me." the
For the moment words would not come; an
then, after a merry fit of laughter, the sus- hai
pected wife quietly remarked, "0, those ex(
dreadful telegraph people! No wonder for
you are out of your mind, dear. I tele- set
graphed simply, 'I tea with Mrs. - , in
Dover Street. Stay for me.'"
King John of Saxony was prone to drop
ping in upon officials when they least ex- fea
pected him. One day he appeared at the nos
telegraph office of a small station. The api
clerk apprised his colleague at next station by
of the unwelcome visit, and before an ac- clu
knowledgement of the warning came, was wli
called upon to enlighten the inquiring ima
monarch respecting the business of his of- ben
fice. Presently a message came along the eye
wires, and his majesty desired to be ac- con
quainted with its purport. He was told it the
was unimportant, but was not to be put wh
off, and insisted upon the message being hat
repeated to him; so the stammering clerk A
had no choice but to regale the royal ears was
with the German equivalent for, "The pri
King pokes his nose into everything." If dep
King John was annoyed by the imperti- and
ne ce, he had to tha'nk himself for it cag
d An old lady told an English station-mast
er she knew all about the composition of
e electricity, and quite Understood the secret
of sending the messages; there was only
li one little point that puzzled her, and that
w was how the messages got past the poles.
a A droll mistake was made by an imagin
ative old dame who, having permitted a
d telegraph pole to be placed on.. the top of
e her house, waited upon the chief of the tel
egraphic company concerned to complain
that she could get no sleep of a night,
being kept awake by the noise made by the
messages passing over her head.
"I don't think, sir," said she, "you can
be aware of all that's said along them
a ires. There's a deal that hadn't ought to
be. I can assure you, sir, that very much
1 that's said there, that I have to lie and lis
ten to, is such as no decent woman ought
to hear: and I hope you will put a stop to
it."
The amused gentleman was hardly able
to meet the accusation with due gravity;
but he did contrive to keep his countenance
while he informed the old lady that the
young men who had hitherto worked the
Swires were under notice of dismissal; and
that in future only young women of great
respectability would be employed, so there
would be no danger of her propriety being
shocked any longer.
WIedded Love: A True Incident.
"Make the bed easy, Mr.," said old Un
cle Abe to the undertaker, who was pre
paring the coffin for his aged wife. "Make
the bed soft and easy, for her old bon-ss are
tender and soft, and a hard bed will hurt
them." He forgot for a moment-that old
gray-haired man--that she was dead; that
the old bones had (lone aching 'folever
Siixty-four years had she walked" by his
side, a true and loving wife. Sirty-four
years! Just think of it in this age of di
vorce. Sixty-fouryears had they dwelt
under the same sorrows of life, together
mourned over the coffin of their firstborn;
together rejoiced in the prosperity of their
sons and daughters, and now she has left
him alone. No wonder he forgot. Her
loving hand had so long cared for him, for
he had been the feebler of the two. "Un
til death"do us lart," sai1 the marriage
service that had 'lnitedthem so many years
ago. Death had parted them, but the love
still survived. Tenderly he had cared for
her all these years, and how tenderly did
he watch the making of the last bed of his
still loved wife. Hle hadbravely breasited
the storm of life with hierbyh is ide,.but
now that she was gone he could not live,
and in a few days they laid him by her
i side.
Religious tatets senttoamanwith twelve
t centa postageflue on thlemare not conduc
t aie either to religious thought, wor, or ac
tion. We hxve in our mind a young man
t who was just wavering in the balance; the
I twelve cents decided him, and he became a
howlig hathen.
TROUBLED ABOUT A GHOTF.
A New Jersey Town Haunted by a
Wily Spirit.
ed
1is [Madison (N. J. ) Monitor.[
d, The topic for conversation among our
he citizens at present is the ghost which in
or fests the residence of Mr. Thebaud,. on the
to Convent Road. Those persons of a suxer
of stitious-. frame of Uind are in a terrible
a- quandary over the matter, and those who
of possess a grat deal of courage and dloiot
s- believe in s itita on this eaili are inclinedh
n to believe that- a very itrange matter,
and is enough texcitesuspicion.
Lt The so-called ghost has been .seen, it is
ul said, by. persons wh'o have watched the
m place, but it moves with such rapidity as
s to be hardly visible, and only by the clos
a est scrutiny cab they see the ghost when it
is around. It makes a noise similar to the
d sound in chopping wood, and can be dis
tinctly heard, but when persons start to ex
eamine the cause they can not hear-it, but
when they move away it can be heard.
Another story is that Michael Dunn, the
d former trackman, passed the place very of
I ten, ahd especially in the night, and when
carrying his lantern it was sure to go out
when opposite Mr. Thebaud's residence.
It seems thati some years ago a man was
run over by a train near this place, and it
s is supposed that his spirit or ghost was
a the one who blew out Mr. Quinn's lantern
and who now infests Mr. Thebaud's build
ings. The story has not been received
from any authenticated source, and there
fore the truth of it is doubted by many,
but on Monday evening a report was afloat
that the ghost had been seen on that even
ing, and a crowd of men and boys, armed
with clubs, stones, knives, etc., started for
the place about 8. 30.
Mr. George Squire, Jr., tried toinvesti
gate the affair, but the terrible hooting and
howling by the other boys caused such a
sensation as to render it impossible to hear
or see the ghost on that night. On Tues
day night about two hundred men and
boys visited the house again, but the ghost
must have obliteratedall traces of its where
abouts, as the search proved unsuccessful. t
A dreadful scare was given the boys on
Monday night by some one throwing .a
stone in a pile of brush, and yelling at the
top of his voice that he saw the ghost.
The boys being alive to the wants of say
ing their lives, started on a run for their f
home, thinking that the ghost was at theirt
heels. We have since learned that several
of the boys found it impossible the next o
morning to put their hats on their heads,
on account of their hair being stiff and
straight-the result of the scare. The only l
person who had a revolver was the first
one to run, and was liable to shoot into the i ir
crowd. But as good luck would have it,
he was too scared to shoot. Imaginative and f
superstitious people can do and see great tl
things.
Friday, Oct. 10.-The ghost is at last
found, and the minds of our townspeople
are set at ease. Two young men, whose
a names we will not mention, were the per
pertrators of the joke, and by their sly ma
d neuvering drew crowds to witness a spir
it (?) from the other world. The two boys
mentioned placed two barrels in a corner
of the well-known shed, which is close to
the barn, and covered them with a sheet,
which resembled a person very much.
Then they took a hammer and fastened
it on the inside of the barrel, and attached
t astring to it, and went- some distance back
of the barn, where they lay until the ghost
seekers came around,when by pulling the
r string the hammer beat against the side of
the barrel, making a very curious sound,
and by this means the people of this place
have been thrown into a terrible state of
excitement; but now, we hope after the
foregoing explanation, Madison may again
settle into its former peaceful slumber.
A Wonderful Mesmerizer.
Strange stories come from India of the
feats performed by a native mesmerizer
3 named Buni, whose magnetic power would
appear to be found to be quite irresistible
i by the lower animals, upon which he ex
clusively exerts it. lie gives seances, to
which the public are invited to bring all
manner of ferocious and untamable wild
beasts, and holds them with a glittering
eye. In a few seconds they subside into a
condition of cataleptic stiffness, from which
they can only be revived by certain passes
which he solemnly executes with his right
hand.
A snake in a state of violent irritation
was brought to Buni by a menagerie pro
prietor, inclosed in a wooden cage. When
deposited on the platform it was writhing
and hissing fiercely. Buni bent over the
cage and fixed his eye upon its occupant,
gently waving his hand over the serpent's
restless head. In less than a minute the 1
snake stretched itself out, stiffened, and
lay apparently dead. Buni took it up and I
thrust several needles into its body, but ii;
gave no sign of life. A few passes then
restored it to its former angry activity.
Subsequently a savage dog, held in a leash
by its owner, was brought in, and, at I
Buni's command, let loose upon him. As t
it was rushing toward him, bristling with I
fury, he raised his hand, and in a second t
the fierce brute dropped upon its belly as
though stricken by lightning. He seemed I
absolutely paralyzed by some unknown (
agency, and was unable to remove a mus- I
cle until released from the magnetizer's I
spell by a majestic wave of his hand.
A Serious Error.
So many people rush unthinringly into
matrimony! Marriage is so often the re
suit of circumstances which throw two per- I
sons together-of a consideration of the fit
ness of things--of momentary impulses, or
of cool deliberation-and which should be
the happiest state of things is often the un
happiest. And people speak of a wedding t
as they would a lottery, where there are I
more blanks than prizes. The only true -
matches aremade by love, and when two t
people have really loved-really loved from
the depths of their very hearts-nothing I
can ever quite part them again. We do nott
say this of those who have only been called,
or called themselves, lovers. A couple i
may be. engaged, or it may be, even I
married, and yet that wonderful tie of great
love may never have existed between them.
Wheq it does exist, all the waters cannot
quenmh it, nor the seas cover it. Forever
and forever-atlast, in the foirever:of ife
those two are more thani any two sihohave
not loved can be. Sometimes happy fate
actually unites two who love thus, and
they live a long, happy life together.
Why She HorseWhipped Hinm.
The confidence of a young woman in
love is something that ought to be treated
with great tnderanis. A wicked young man
of Bethleheii,-Pa., evidently didn't under
stand this, or he had no concern about I
it, forlie did the most shameful thingu the:
other day, He borrowed aidoliar of ila
girl;,bought a cotiple of tnJkets for the show
with it, and took arnother git:m This out
rageoisn oiidiuct was discoveied while the
entertainment was in progress, and nat
orally created a good deal of excitement in
the mind of the young woman whose dol
lar had gone to furnishan evning's diver-i
sioa for another She uiindertook to get ev
en byaneeting the couple .tii.ter the show I
was over, and exerted herself as. well as'
possible to give the roung men a whipping t
onthe sideavdI. She ucceedede so yell s
- I -1~ -
T. CAPT. GIBB]'BfIG WHALE.
a His Ship is Obliged to Back Water to
Let the 1.onster Pass in Front of Her.
[New York Siu.]
The steamship Issac Bell, of the Old Do
lir Trtii.n Line, arrivedin this port yesterday
- fe.om Norfolk, andris ..ted that on the way
he e had been obligedti4back water on ac
i- count of a huge whale that lay directly
Ie across theshi Capt. Gibbs gave
ao the following ver.0e the incident: "On
O the moraing of the 1 t2i inst. I took the
d wheel! The stelaier was then scudding
along ft about tihe rate f eleven kots an
hourigainst the nortiheast wind. This
is course was kept until about 9 a. m., when
ie we were fifteen miles from Fenwick's Is
8 land, off the Delaware Coast.
s- "Suddhnly; about 100 yards off the port
it bow, I saw the spout of a whale. The
te stream of water ejected was larger and
- projected to a greater height than I had
ever seen before, and I betame so inter
it ested in it that I did not perceive our close
1. proximity to the monster until its huge r
be ulk lay across our bows. Then I saw
there was at least forty feet of its back ex- o
n posed above the surface. This exposed
It surface I quickly calculatediwvouldgive me
a whale about seventy-five or eighty feet a
in length and of unknown diameter. I im
t mediately rang the bell to back water, for ii
I did not think that a wooden keel could
successfully collide with a muonster whale. W
The engines obeyed the signal, and the b
keel of the ship was stopped within four sf
feet of the back of the whale. Ie lazily
floated out of the way, and then we steam
Sed ahead. The last 1:saw of thle whale was tl
a magnificent spurt of sea feam." tl
I: -______ 01
A Quakesr Printer 's Proverbs. a
Never send an article for publication bh
without giving the editor thy name, for thy
name oftentimes secures publication to
worthless articles. vi
Thou shouldst not rap at the door of a a
printing office; for he that answere;h the
rap sneereth in his sleeve and loseth time. fo
Never do thou loaf about, nor knock fau
down type, or the boys will love thee as be
they do the shadle trees-when thou leavest. dc
Thou should never read the copy on the sr;
printers' cases or the sharip and looked ea
container thereof, or he may knock thee
down. o
Never inquire of the editor*for the news, ne
for behold it is his businessto give it tlthee ;of
at the appointed time without asking for it. it
It is not right to ask him who is the tuth- toi
or of an article, for it is his duty to keep dai
such things unto himself.
When thou dost enter his otice, take ne
heed unto thyself that thou dost not look at thi
what concerns thee not, for that is not meet me
in the sight of good breeding. 1 .
Neither examine thou the proof-slheet, ye
for it is not ready to meet thine eye lhat
thou mavest understand. hai
Thou shouldlst not delude thyself with A.i
the thought that thou hast saved afew ceats an
when thou hast secured a dead head copy pal
of his paper, for, whilst the printer igay cal
smile and say it's alright, he'll never for
get thy meauniess. en]
s DPeath ofa Pioneer Acetress*
[San Franscio Chronicle.]
Mrs. Mary Chapman, the oldest member
of the famous Chapman faitly of actors.
i and the wife of the late comedian, George
1 Chapman, died yesterday morning at 9
o'clock. The deceased had been suffering
for tile past seven years with inflaimnatory
rheumatism, and for months before her de
mise was unable to leave or even. move in
her bed. 31 rs. Chapman was born ut New
York in 1S13, and had been in the theatri
cal profession over forty years. She came
to this city in 1552, and was well known in
earlier times as an excellent artiste.
In 1855 a benefit was tendered her by
members of the press, which was notable
forthe gathering of authors and actors,
many of them now ranking very high in
their respective professions, and who
will remember the deceased artist as a
sprightly actress whose forte was dramas
like "The French Spy," "Flowers of the
Forest," etc. Mrs. Chapman was the moth
er of twenty children, only three of whom
are living, of whom Miss Belle Chapman
is the only one now upon the stage. The
deceased in her long career upon the stage
in this city won for herself many warm
friends, who will mourn the loss of an esti
mable lady as well an accomplished artiste.
'11-ac antsy tia n"' 4LLdCVUpIIIýiELL ( i arti'ste.
A Tale of a Snake.
A Georgia, man was fishing near a rock
under which was a. snake's den, the other
day, when the reptile camne glidingup from
a foraging expedition, and was disappear
ing in the hole under the rock, when with
a dexterous movement the man seized him
by the tail and threw him twenty feet
away. The snake hardly knew what had
happened, and again essayed to enter his
domicile in the same manner. Again he
was treated as before. Never despairing,
for a third time the wily serpent approach
ed the rock. This time he came deliberate
ly, as if carefully contemplating the situa
tion. Arriving at the mouth of the hole,
he coiled himself up and put out his long
tongue, as if to take in the full situation.
For a while he maintained this defensive
position, when he carefully began to un
coil, at the same timne disappearing tail fore
most into the den, to the admiration of the
man who had been amusing himself at his
expense.
The Champion Sleeper.
S [Providence Journal.]
Mr. George Hanney, who was found dead
on his bed at Gaza, was remarkable for his
habitual drowsiness. He could sleep at
any time, in any place, and under almost
any circumstances. It is said that he often
dropped off into a sound sleep while stand
ing at his loom, and even a fall over on to
theloom would not awaken him. He has also
beenknown to fall asleep with one foot on
The hub of his wagon-wheel. while trying
to get into the wagon. Sometimes while
driving he would go to sleep and fall off
his seat. Many other instances could be
cited in illustration of this striking charact
eristic of the man. As he was only part
ially undressed when found lying on the
bed this morning, it is supposed that he fell
asleep before he had an opportunity to take
off his clothes.
Orders to the Cook.
The San Francisco waiter is said to excel
in giving orders to,a cook. He will say, "I
want a salmon on the iron, hamaneggs
turned over, side dishes fort·to in one, and
I want 'em in a hurry, too." This is com
menced with a surprising'quantity of tone
with which each word increases in strength,
volume, and viciousness, iuntil the climax
is, delivered with a thundering bellows-ing,
drshling roar. That's nothing. Unless he
can say, 'Two .Iteikse Tried ptars 'nyuns
plater beans two cup coffee fishballa for
three piecer mince pie n'cup tea" in one
breath, there alre hundreds of Bostohi ait
er-girls ifar superioi to him.--Tmeans c pt.
Judging .Children.
There are no more flagrant instances of
uncharitable judging-and no eeasses in
which i inflicts greater injury--than are
ofteni seen in the treatment of:children by
grown persons. A trifiling fanulti . agni i
rfled into a grave and deliberately-plnned
Soffencee Motives are attributed to the
thoughtles ;little transgessors whieh icould
only belong to a far more ndvaueed stageof
Tmentta development; and not only is gross
injustice done tnd the keen pain of its ii
lijjtiion, bu many tumes, the& in I soul is
made disingenuous and re ven eful by t t e
,eit a venge. Examinr
L Scientific Notes. xZ'
to The late Leonard Case, of Cleveland, let
ar. 'for a school of applied science, propert:
valued at $1,500,000.
An electric locomotive has been manu
lay factured and successfully operated on the
street railway of Berlin.
ay For use in telegraphy, aluminum is sati
to possess double the conducting power o
irone r, and can be made into extremely thir
n wires.
lie The Italian government offers three
prizes, amounting to $1,800, for vines raised
an from grafts of American varities capable oi
liresisting phyloxera.
i The longest submarine cable in the
world, is that along the eastcoast of Africa,
from Natal to Aden, it being 4,000 miles in
it length.
A Raailway has just beenfinished for the
id ascent of Mount Vesuvius. It is 900 me
ad tres in length, and enables tourists to ascend
r- by it to the crater in safety.
se The deepest well in the world is the one
e recently finished at B3uda Pesth, IHungary,
w being 3,200 feet in depth. The temperature
of the water it yields is nearly 165 Fahr.
l The electric light is coming into general
use on board of steamships, and passengers
and seamen alike express themselves as
highly delighted with the new method of
r illumination.
d An exhibition of the arts and sciences
will be held at Nashville, Tenn., in cele
bration or the hundredth anniversary of the
r settlement of that city, beginning on April
23d next and continuing until May 29th.
The very bright star now to ble seen near
s the horizon, about due south, is "Sirius,"
the dogstar, and it is estimated by astron
omers that it gives four times as much light
as any other star visible in our latitude.
A new comet was discovered last month
' by Astronomer Gill. at Cape Town, South
V Africa. The new clestial visitor is ap
proaching the sun but will not probably be
visible in this country, without the aid of
Sa telescope.
The reasons generally given by scienitsts
for the phenomenon of hearing sound
farthest just before a storm, is that the air,
being moist, has more than its normal con
ducting power, and that the low lying
sratas of clouds confine the sound to the
earth.
Dr. Gould, of the Cordova University,
South America, reports the discovery of a
new and great comet in the neighborhood
of the sun, passing northward-one which I
it is stated that nations north of the equa
tor may be treated to a sight of, at an early 1
day.
It is estimated that about 9,00) miles of
new road are now under co:tract, and it is E
thought by men in a position to know that
more miles of railroad will be built during I
1880 in the United States than during any t
year before.
Prof. II. Gamard, of France, it is stated, 1
has completely modified the form of the 1
American p)honograph, :and claimns to have I
an instrument far superior to Mr. Edison's
patent, and one that will become of practi- f
cal utility, and conime into general use. t
An artesian well was completed at Dl)a
enport, Iowa, last week, at a depth of 900 s
feet. The pressure it is said carries the a
water twenty-live feet above the surface of c
the earth. Tile stream is six inches in di- t
ameter and flows at the rate of 400 gallons
of water per minute. I
The preliminary steps have already been
taken for the holding of a world's fair, in J
New York city, in 1883. At a recent meet- t
ing of prominent citizens and capitalists in t
that great mgreat etropolis, a resolution was Ii
adopted asking Congress to take measures t
to give the proposed fair "otlicial sanction
an aid commiensurate to its importance."
The manufacture of Glucose is becom
ing one of the most extensive industries
in this country. Corn sugar is now used
for all the various purposes for which any 1i
sugar is used, except for first class con- o
fectionery, and is not only used largely in ii
this country but great shipments are con- t
stantly being made to Europe, where it is a
in great demand. f
In the five cent nickel we have the en- e
tire metric system of weights and meas- t]
ores. The diameter is two centimeters, Ul
its weight is five grammes. Two of these C
coins will weigh a decagrammne, and five of
them placed in a row will give the length it
of the decimeter. The key to the mmeasure 1h
of length is also the key to measure of c'
capacity, as the kiloliter is a cubic metre. i
Scientists have adopted the theory that
the duration of animal life should be five "
times the growth of the animal or being.
Thus, nman gets his growth in twenty years
and should live to be one hundred years a
old. Tie camel is eight years in growing
and lives forty years. The horse reaches al
maturity in five years, and seldom lives 5
beyond twenty-five: and so with other rt
animals. ci
d The physical consequences of death con
s tinue to baffle scientists, and instead of the
e progress of science adding' anything of
importance to what has always been known,
it has rather tendered to deepen the dis
tinction between the visible part, which
perishes before our eyes, and that which
we are ourselves, and to show that this
personality, with respect to its nature as
well as to its destiny, lies quite beyond the
range of science.
The best copying pads now in use for
copying letters, etc., quickly, is made as
Sfollows: Take gelatine, I ounce, and
glycerine, 6i3 fluid ounces; soak the gela
tine over night. In the morning pour off
all the water and melt both ingredients to
a boiling heat, after the manner of melting
glue. Pour off in a shallow pan and allow
to stand ten hours or more, protected from
i dust, when it is ready for use. Over one
.t hundred impressions may be taken from a
pad made in this manner. To change the
form, sponge off the face of the pad with a
sponge and a little water.
o Ravages of Consumption.-Certaial ap
Spalling statements were recently made by
a physician to a medical class, in Buffalo,
N. Y. He announced that one-fifth of all
mankind die of consumption alone, and
e one-third of all from the ravages of tuber
d cles upon the bodily organs, including the
I lungs. Comparing this mortality with that
from yellow fever during the epidemic of
iI 1878, he said that it "would require 450
years of such epidemici of yellow fever to
equal the devastation wrought by consump
tion in a single generation in this country
alone, and 750 years of such work to equal
i.the mortality caused by. tubercles in one
1 generation in this country."
More wonderful than the Telephone in
its magic workings, is that of the "Dia
d phote," a newly invented instrument by
which people are enabled to see by elec
e tricity. Its inventer, Dr. H. E. Licks,
of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, calls it by
this name, from two Greek words, din
through, and pilos light. Dr. Licks ex
e hibited his instrument to a number of
scientific men at his home recently, to the
r utter astonishment of all. The two instru
e ments'used, one being in the second story
of the building, and the other in the parlor
below, were conneeted by means of an
ordinary telegraph wire, and charged with
electricity. v A newspaper being placed
f before one of them was easily read by the
a audience at the other end of the line.
e Its inventer claimis that ordinary print
P may be read hundreds af miles away as
-at the distance used upon .this occasion,
i We shall give a detailed' desription ofthe
e "Diaphote" in a future issue of this
I paper. _
C.omplimenaeUery. 5A
A Aglittle girl read` . composition before
-She weaved in this complimientary sen
A Wonderful Curiosity.
A Child Gradually Turning to Stone.
left
erty Last Sunday evening we took advantage
of an opportunity to look at a sadly-alllict
Mu- ed child whose peculiau and rare misfor
the tune is attracting the attention of the medi
cal fraternity throughout the country.
said The boy is two and a half years old, a son
r of of Mr. Jacob Knisely, a resident of New
hin Philadelphia, and to an unskilled eye is to
all appearance gradually becoming petri
ree fled. Up to last July there was no per
sed ceptible difference between it and any
Sof other healthy child of the same age; but
at that time a hardness appeared in its feet,
the progressed slowly up the limbs, and at the
Lea, present time has extended over the entire
Sin body. Tapping on the hands, cheeks and
other parts of the body, we found the sur
the face to be as hard as board or even stone.
ae- Not a dent can be made by pressure, and
nd the cuticle is drawn so tightly that it can
not be caught hold of with the fingers.
ne Its limbs are drawn out of their natural
LW shape, and are perfectly powerless. The
ire hair of its head is of a wiry texture, and
cannot be made to lie flat by comb or
ral brush. It has a slight control of its jaws,
ors and can only eat food of a soft nature.
as The eyelids are also indurated, and so
of little power has the child with them that it
cannot close them even in sleep. The
es thther informed us that the child suffers
Sbut little pain, and not only understands
what is said to it, but talks occasionally
ril very distinctly. Exactly what the nature
of this sad case is, and what its termina
tion will be, is a mystery, as there are no
similar cases reported in medical works, I
and the numerous doctors who have ex
ht amined this differ in their opinions. By
sonime of the fraternity it has been diagnos
th ed as Sclerosis, a hardening of the connect- t
ed tissues-tissues beneath the skin. This
was also the opinion of the Professors at
the Medical College, and others entertain
still other ideas regarding it. One of our
doctors, who was with the company in the
a cars, thinks that it is produced by a de- fi
d posit of semi-cartilaginous material, and
that it will probably :reach the heart and
cause death. It"is a-ucase which will be d
closely watched by mddical men and others a
as being the first of its kind.-JMafssillon
(Ohio) American.
A Brave Woman's Ruse.
Mrs. Isadore Middleton, one of the lead.
I ers of Mobile fashion, on a recent evenin,
- went to her boudoir, and, while arranging
her jewerly, was somewhat started to die.
cover a man crouched under a table in th(
f apartment. From certain circumstance;
she knew the lurker was a robber.
t Mrs. Middelton, however, very cools
rang far her maid, and, sitting at the broad.
topped ornamental table under which was
the man, wrote a note, and handing it tc
her servant said: "Take this note to Mr.
Forfaiir, the jeweler, and he will give you
my jewelry which he has just repaired."
What the note really contained was in
formation to the effect that Mrs. Middle
ton's husbanl d was absent ani that she was
all alone with a burglar. During the ab
selnce of her maid the lady read, hummed
and acted very cooley generally. Presently
came a ring at the-bell and Mr. Forfair en
tered with three policemen.
The concealed burglar was captured, and
proved to be a negro criminal named Chap
man, but mostly known as "Two-Fingered
Jeff." who was in great request about that
time for several robberies coimtitted in the
neighborhood a short time before, and lie
is now serving a twenty year's sentence in
the Alabama State prison.
What Clarence HLing is Said to
Ilave Seen.
[Reno Gazette.]
Thomas Lovelock, the pioneer of Love
lock Station, Nevada, was describing some
of the natural curosities of his section while
in town last Saturday evening. lie says
that fifteen miles north of his place there is
a petrified tree 600 feet in length and two
feet thick. Its roots and mlost of its branch
es are still perfect. The tree is lying on
the surface of the ground, and is petrified
through and throfrugh from bark to core.
Clarence King was taken to see the tree by
Mr. Lovelock. The geologist pronounced
it one of the greatest natural curosities he
had ever seen. Mr. Lovelock says he re
cently stumbled upon a petrified rattlesnake
in the vicinity of his ranch. The serpent's
head was gone, but his body and rattles
were whole. The rattles give out a metall
ic sound, when shaken. like the ringing of
a bell. The body of the snake is as hard as
a rock.
Speaking upon the subjectof "Insanity,"
at a recent meeting of the Medico-Legal
Society, in -New York, Dr. Geo. M. Beard
remarked: "Insanity is a barometer of
civilization, and as we advance higher in
the arts and sciences, so will insanity be
come more prevalent among us. Intense
application, brain work and indoor life are
the agencies which most frequently bring
it about. Among savages or barbarians
there is little or none of it. The intel
lectual activity of the women of to day is
another great cause of insanity. What
the mother is, so will the child be in an
intenser degree. * * * An improved
system of education, with legs 'cramming,'
would tend to reduce the increase of in
sanity." While the Dr. may be somewhat
broad in his assertions, there is much in
his remarks that should at least interest
teachers and parents of the present day in
the bringing up of "rising generation."
1ow Bob. Burdette Writes.
[Oil City Derrick.]
Burdette does the most of his writing on
the cars, and his manuscript is something
between the Choctaw language and the
hieoryglyphics on the Egyptian obelisks.
He says of it: "When I first got at it the
printers would draw cuts for my copy, and
those who got a slice of it would go around
trying to hire a boy to kick them down
stairs and break their necks. However,
the~e was one old fellow who thirsted after
it, and when be got a piece of it he imme
diately put on a 'sub' and went on a drunk.
Under any other circumstances he would
have been discharged. I do better now.
I had to, because it had almost broken up
the printers' temperence union. The pat
rons of the cause in Burlington traced the
thing back to me, and I had to improve my
copy. It didn't hurt me much, but it was
a terrible blow to the urinters."
Ingersoll's Opinion,
This is what Robert G. Ingersoll says of
the womnen; I tell you women are more
prudent than men. I tell you as a riule,
women are more truthful than men-ten
times as faithful as men. I never saw a
man pursue his wife into the very ditch
and dust of degradation and take herin his
arms. I never saw a man stand at the shore
when she had been morally wrecked,
waiting for the waves to bring back even
her corpse to his arms; but i have seen
woman dolt. - Ihave-seen woman with her
white armslift man from the mire of c:
gradation, And hold hiinm to her bosom as
thoughbe was an angel
:Pitching Into the Orthodox.;
A yomng man preparing for the.Unitar
Ian ministry was introduced to s;prominent
Epiecopal clergyman in this eity, and gave
some examples of the advice he hadiecely
ed, including that of anh old Unitsriai pro
fessor, who haed liasistedverystrongly upon
the necessity of 'pitching into the Ortho
own parts" hadded, "slould getiirel of
businz*Mhe del riIJ alo4I"
The World is H[onest.
ne. -
A dozen men were yesterday loafing
age away the rainy hours in a business place
ict- near the ferry dock, when the conversa
or- tion turned upon the subject of general.
di- public rascality. A citizen said he had
ry. given a boy a quarter to get changed, and
0on had never seen him again; another said he
ew wouldn't trust his own grandfather: antd a
to third would give one hundred dollars to
:ri- see an honest man.
er- "I have not yet lost my faith in human
ny nature," finally remarked a man on a back
ait seat. "Any of you may call in a stranger
et, to us all, and I will give him a five dollar
he bill to go and get changed. If he fails to
ire come back, Ilose the money; if lie returns,
n you will see how foolish your assertions
r- are.
ie. Halt-a-d-ozen men rushed to the door.
rd A seedy, gaunt and evil-looking Africuan
'- was peddling by in the rain, and he was '
'. selected to imake the test.
al "Stranger," said the mall who hadn't
re lost confidence, "take this five-dollar bill
id around the corner and get it changed, and I
Or I will give you ten cents."
. The black man departed without a worid,
e. and for the next tenl minutes the laugh
o0 was on the man who sent him. It died
t away, however, as the African slouched
ie in, handed out the bill, and said:
" "I runned all ober, and nobody could
Is change him." h
y He was given his ten cents, and the man h
e who lost the quarter by the boy said he t
couldn't have believed such an exhibition
0 of honesty if he had not witnessed it, and is
he was willing to buy the cider for the d
crowd.
Y It was only after the cider had been ai
- destroyed and paid for that he learned L
- that the bill given the negro was a base at
s counterfeit which no one would accept.
Go On With the Ceremony. S
r P
The natives of New Caledonia are con- a
firmed polygamists, and treat women as sa
laborersor pack-horses. It is but rarely N
that the worthy missionaries succeed in in- lo
ducing them to embrace the Christian faith er
and monogamy. lif
"My son," said the missionary, "if you W
really want to be an angel and with the an- in
gels stand, it is absolutely necessary that pe
you should renounce the devil and all his I an
works. I mean one of your wives." seo
The candidate went away t ery sorrowful, an
but the good missionary's words had sunk Lc
deep into his heart, and a few days later the
he returned joyfully. ke
"'1 have only one wife now," said the '11
convert; "baptize me." wi
"Only one wife?" exclaimed the mis- di(
sionary; "where is the other? You had bo;
two." we
"I've killed her, and if you don't believe all
me 1 have her head here to prove it," cried
the convert, producing in evidence his late
spouse's head tied up in a bunch of banana
leaves; "and now go on with the ceremo
ny," all
A Serious Obstacle.
be
[Denver News.] WV
A young darkey had concei'ed a violent thn
passion for a neighboring mulattress, and sw
taking her one night behind him on an old inE
farm mule set out for Georgetown to have cal
the ceremony of marriage celebrated. But
in endeavoring to navigate a mud-hole on sal
the Georgetown hill the mule apparently
lost his power of locomotion, and the dark
ey got down to examine into the cause of wh
it. Unfortunately, he got too close to the 1tra
animals hind legs, and an unexpected con- me
vulsion of the mule's extremities shot him qui
out to the side of the road with a violence
which resembled the discharge of a canon chl
ball.
"What's de matter?" inquired the pros- Ai.
pective bride, astonished at these hurried Ca
movements. he]
"Matter! dar's heap de nlmatter. Dis wed- mcm
din' aint a comin' off." on
"What's de reason it aint?"' bri
"Dar's reason 'nuf-dat mule got sumfin rea
ile matter wid his hind legs, and I'se got by
somefin de matter wid my stomach-and
dat's reason 'nuf to stop a weddin."
And it did. et,
d The Telephone in the ield.
According to the Gazette de Cologne, the
e telephone is about to be utilized in the Ger
s man army. The regiment attached to the
a railways has been making with this ap
- paratus some experiments, which are to be
f repeated by the infantry regiments. These
will use the telephone for the .avanced
guard service. The experiments in ques
tion are facilitated by some new improve
ments in the telephone, which is improved
with an alarm and an apparatus in imita
tion of the bugle, worked by a magneto
electric current. Some important reviews
of the troops are to take place, and will
give an opportunity for forming an opin
o ion as to the extent to which the telephone
may be utilized in military operations.
He Got a Contribution.
[Owensboro (Ky.) Examiner.]
t In a neighboring city, a colored preach
er called upon a worthy tobacco dealer, so
liciting a contribution in aid of his church.
The tobacconist insisted that the dusky
brother ought to go to work, and so earn
t something. The latter expressed his will
Singness to do so, if he had employment.
t Whereupon the dealer engaged him for the
day in his factory.
He laid aside his clerical coat, and work
ed the day through with a will. As he
started away at night, his employer quiet
ly handed him a check for $50. We call
that a graceful testimonial of the employer
to the earnest manhood of his employe.
A Love Letter.
A Fair damsel of the West, according to
the Litchfield (Ill.) Dc.ocrat, recently sent
this note to her faithtul knight:
Deer Will:-Doant kum to see me eny
more for a whial eny way. Fauther is
r awfully skeered about burglars, and he sits
- up every nite till late with a double-bar
relled shot-gun watching the back-yard.
He put moren a pound of lead into Brown's
newfoundland dog which was cummin
? over the fens after a bone last nite.
The rose is red, the violets blew.
I wouldn't kumnow if I was you.
Leave Your Money at Home.
A woman with a practicalturn of mind is
Mrs. Brownsmith. When Brownsmith had
been knocked down and robbed, and was
brought home in a dying condition, this
wonderful woman didn't go into a faint or
hysterics. Not she. She remarked, with a
coolness and self-possession worthy of her
sell, "There, I knew it would be so; I told
John he'd better leave some of his money
at home!"
6 Straight Hair.
Scene at a meeting at Preston: "Tak thi
hat off," said one fellow in the crowd to
1 another in front of him. "What for?"
"Why, aw cannot see." "Well," replied
- the other, "If aw tak my hat off,'thou'll be,
v worse off than ever. My yar (hair) is thir
teen inches long, an' it stone straight up.
I've put my hat en to keep it down.
Cetewayo is engaged' in making mental
notes. He has calculated that each- charge
t fired by the foreign men-of-war now in
! Table:Bay i saaluting the fort was of the
- value of an o.. Hie ;:& concludes that it
- is more expensive to keep up armaments
Sin Europe than in Zeluland. His Majesty
- also regards the Queen's conduct in not
answering his message of contrition as;
( showing a great lack of eourtesy, but he
Sremainscnidentofhis return to Zululand. 1
( For the present his'blget regret is that his
connubial circle is so unhearaely bi aml ;a
witches at Lewes.
ng Now, my son Roderick-my youngest
ee son, who is twenty-one next month-was
6a- last year at the herrin' fishery at Fraser
ral burg. One night he went ashore, and met
Id a strange woman and man walking, They
ld did stop and did ask who he wasand where
he he did come froml. "From Loch Inver,"
a. says he. "And so do we," says they
to (which was singular, as he did never set
eves on them before.) "Come with us,
an and we will give you a drink-" of beer, or
ek of rum, or of whisky, or of gin, I do net
er rightly mind which it was whatever. You
tr must know, Sir, that each boat, of the her
to rin' fishery time, takes a woman on board
,4 to cook tmeat and wash for them; there will
" be lmanyl womnen go to sea in this manner.
Well, they ask my son at the tavern,
r "I)id you have good luck with the herrin'
1 to-day?" "No, very bad." "Did you
vi yesterday?" "No; worse again." "Al,
Sbut,' says she, "you will have to-morrow.'
Wt W ell, sure enough, lie did 1ill his boat next
11 day with fery niany erans of herrin', and
l did get £15 for his share that one day. It
was a wonderful thing. But he did tell
Sme that gold did him no good; he had no
h idea how it did get spent whateffer. That
d day he did go looking about after the man
t and woman all over, but he did never see
them again; I did not hear of his ever
again seeing them. "Roderick," I said to
him, when he told me, "Yoderick, I do
hope yon will never again have anything
to do with these witches." 'No, father; I
fill never again, so long as I do live.' He
is bway to Fraserburg this year again. I
did hear of another witch in the Lewes,
fifteen year agone. She lived at Stornoway,
and did sell winds to sailors, One of our
Lock Inver boats did not get away that
autumn for weeks.
The wind was always dead against them.
Well, they did go to her, and what they
paid her I did not hear, but she gave them
a black string tied with three knots, and
said, 'Ye'll be getting awa' to-morrow.
Now, if the wind is not strong enough,
loose one knot; if even then it is not
enough, loose the second; but on your
life! on your life! dinna loose the third!"
Well, they got off sure enough next morn
ing with a fair breeze; and then the skip
per loosed one knot. On the boat sprang,
and the wind rose. Soon he loosed the
second, and they tore over the waves, and
and were very soon over the Minch near
Loch Inver. They got to the entrance of
the harbor, near the new stone house--ye
ken it? on the right-and the skipper says,
'We're a'rioht now; if the deil himself
withstands me I will loose the third!' He
did loose it, and though so near home, the
boat only got hishore in little bits! She
was altogether broken up ! The men were
all saved.
The New Game.
s" [Detroit Free Press.]
- The de;td-beat permits nothing to get
ahead of him except a funeral procession.
Yesterday a seedy-genteel, who seemed to
be greatly excited, rushed into a place on
Woodward Avenue and wildly inquired if
it they had a telephone there. Being an
d swered in the aftimative he rushed to the
d instrument, threw his haton the floor, and
e called out:
it "Hello! Central office-for Heaven's
n sake, hello! hello! hello!"
y "Is there a fire?'" asked the merchant.
"Fire! Keep still-wait-O! Heavens,
f why don't they answer me? Hello! Cen
e tral office! Ah! I have them! Connect
u- me with sub-office on Dufftield Street-
n quick-life depends !'
e "Somebody dying?" asked the mer
e chant.
"Keep still-for your life, keep still!
Ahl! sub-office! Connect me with No.
d Cass Avenue as soon as you can! Hello!
hello! Mary! Ah! itis her! Mary, your
I- mother has been run over by a street-car
on Jefferson Avenue and will die! I'll
bring her up in a carriage! Get everything
n ready ! Send James for the doctor-good
it by!"
d "Somebody hurt?" asked the merchant.
"Somebody hurt? No! Yes! I'm half
crazy ! I must get a carriage. Ah left
my wallet at the office down the river ! I'll
tell Mary-no; I'll ask you for two dollars
until I come down after dinner!"
The merchant looked at the fellow for a
few seconds, and then walked to the tele
phone. The sub-office was saying:
"Who was getting off that rigmarole to
Mary, and who was Mary? We don't
connect with No. - Cass Avenue ! If you
don't stop your nonsense, we'll cut you
off!"
The merchant turned to overhaul his
customer, but shabby-genteel had slid.
Perhaps he took his poor mother up on a
wheelbarrow.
On a small Scale.
They were speaking with indignation,
at a dinner-party of rich financiers, of a
wretched pickpocket who had stolen a
handkerchief.
"Come, come," says:one of the company,
pleasantly, "we mustn't be too hard on the
poor fellow; we had to all begin life on a
small scale ourselves !"
S"By the Eternal," They know.-Joseph
i St. Cyr, aged eighty-two, and Chas Ray
- mond, aged eighty-five, both took part in
the battle of New Orleans 1815, and in the
military parade Saturday. They both have
wives, they married sixty years ago, and
both, like the Butlers of Kentucky, deny
the cotton-bale story. They say in the em
brasures for the cannon were two or three
1 cotton bales, but none in the breast-works.
A writer says cotton bales and sugar hogs
heads were tried in the battles that preced
ed January 8th, but were rejected, because
the former caught fire and the latter were
knocked to pieces by cannon balls, and did
t more harm than good.-N. 0. Democrat.
A Boston man has a vest that Fern made
r withher own hands. And we willbet $100
that it never did and never will it any man
in this wide, wide world; that they can't
tell by its shape whether it was originally
made for a fat woman or a lean man, for a
man with a sway back, or a man with .a
hump on his back like a camel. Woman,
heaven bless her, is the light of our homes,
but when she tries to mike a man's vest
the angels weep. And when she makes a
pair of pantaloons for him the immortal
gods just hold their sides and run away out
into the woods and roll on the grass and
howl.
Barnum, it is charitable to suppose,
blushed for his profession when he passed
his eye over the local columnof the Bridge
port Farmer and read of the mendacity Of
a fellow showman whose Ideas are sadly
warped as to the hmitations of legitimate
humbug. He was one of the performers
of a "ghost show." business had been light
and it was ureasonable to suppose that the
"spirits" conld materialize on an empty
stomach. The showman selected his res
taurant and ordered ham and eggs, "well
done." Then he l# himself out on the
bread, butter anid pickles within range of
his Yankee arms, and quietly walked ost
as the hameand eggs walked il.
•Gloomy.
A well known star of a Paris thettre aI, :
in private life, siuch given to.gloomiy r i
iections, believing that life doesher all t hei
wrongitcan, Oneofher oipanlons.,~ i
stead of saying, "I have tnvIted er ie ti:
dine," always says, "I ha)y te her to
groan." -
sany whethes inhn untls ed t5