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The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, October 06, 1883, Image 1

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VOL IX. BENTON, MONTANA SATURDAY OCTOBER 6, 1883. NO. 11
.. . . .. . ... ...- - - . .. . . - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .: . .
POE RV.
JEANNiETTE AND THE CIGARETTE.
Big brother's
Cigarette
Maiden whiff,
"Nice, you bet!"
Sudden ehange;
Pale grows pet
'Neath apron
Pain does get.
Dinner don't
Hapl set
On stomach
Of Jeannette.
Fair sinner
Moaneth yet,
Such sickness
Ne'er had met.
Doctor comes,
F xes pet
WVith morphine
Sly o!ld vet.
Next morning
Says Jeannette:
"llad enough
Cigarette."
FRIENDLY TIPS.
When Sammy Tilden started out
The president to be.
IHe patted Dana on the back,
And lDana patted he.
They figured out, this clever pair,
A game dead sure to win
If one could not be nominee
lie'd shove the other in.
But Dana swore so very hard
Old Tilden had retired,
That folks believed him-which was n)t
Just what he had desired.
Ali though the Sun tried very hard
To makes its candidat .
lTh, people chose another in an,
Ant ;i:hrs.ed up the slate.
SOLITIJDE.
L.augh. anditl the world laughs with you;
Weep, and Vou weet-p alone,
For the, said old earth mllust borrow its mirth,
. iti h s trou!le enough of its own.
aingh, avtd the hills will answer;
Sign, it is lost on the air;
The: ei:oes ibound to a joyful sound.
HIT hi Ii!, from voihvig care.
.lj ik,, avid intc , w ill seek yon.
Sri1ivet, tmll hle turn to yo;
'IT'V want full measure of a I yo"ur pleasulre,
iultther do nit nuc d our woe.
li1 g ad, andl your friends are iI'rry;
lie sail, and you lose them all;
'There are mlone to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you ntist 'rink liie's gal:.
Feast, atnd your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world go by;
Succeed and give and it helps you live,
i;lti no wiln c to help you die.
'There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a largo and lovely train,
But ine by one we must all ille on
1' rough the narrow aisles of pain.
-Ei';/ / Wheeler ien ieptelber Minnehaht i n.
SELECTE.D STORY.
ROCK CREEK CHURCH.
"It is the last girl I shall send to Eu
rope," said Mr. Brancipeth.
"Very likely," returned his wife, "as it
is the only girl you have."
"She has become thoroughly denation
alized," continued the father. "She thinks
Amnerican soil only fit to make mud on
overshoes and American men nothing but j
clod-hoppers. IIer head is full of foreign
notions, and she'il marry nothing but a
title. She'll have none of my money to
buy a title, let me tell he," said Mr. Bran
cepeth, putting salt in his coffee. "Where ,
she came by such folly I don't know. d
There has never been anything like it on I
my side of the house. Your head, to be n
sure, was a little turned when you came to b
Washington, and went to an executive ii
dinner-"
"Mr. Brancepeth !"
"Well, I must find fault with somebody.
To have your only daugnter come home ap
changeling, and to be able to upbiaid your h
wife about it, would be hard. This is the e
most shockihg coffe !" b
"Salt doesn't improve coffee." a
"Give i..e a fresh cup. What did you
send Tlhonias out of the room for?" d
"Because I had something to say." C
"Not fit for his ears. They are long n
enough." ai
"You don't feel so very badly, if you p
can be making jests."
"Sorry jesting," said Mr. Brancepeth, p
"And when Jessie was such a tresh, h
sweet, innocent beauty." w
"She is a fresh, sweet, innocent beauty ir
now," said her indignant mother. "And w
she will conicm out all right, if you only tl
give her time. To go to Europe, and spend
a year in a foreign minister's famaly, as e,
she hasdone, receiving the attention be- tt
longing to such a position, and known to w
be an heiress-"
"Known to be an heiress. By heavens! h,
Who knows her to be an heiress? I don't.
If she carries sail this way, I won't leave ei
her a penny." t,
"It's of no use to talk so, father. Every- hi
body knows you area rich man, and she's
your only child. And there's no danger of
anyone marrying her for money, when it
there is everything to love in her." bi
"W hat do these foreigners hanging rs
round her care for lovo?' 'Ihey think of a
nothing but money, and let her break her
heart afterward, for all they will do to
hinder her. It makes my blood boil to
look at them-musicale here, and cotillion
there, and morning calls, and strolls, and to
sending the coach back empty to walk
home froom church. Now, Louisa, I tell re
you plainly she must stop this, or I'll take fo
the whole kit away from town, and move
out on the Colorado ranch, and stay there, et
and you may tell her so.:'
"Teil her yourself, father."
"I can't-you know I can't."
"As for your Colorado ranch, there are N
as many foreigners in Colorado as there are I
foreigners in Washington. And now do be I
sensible, and listen to reason a moment. y
You know Jessie will marry somebody-' v
"I know Jessie will marry somebody?" ':
roared her father. "How do I know it?" E
I don't know it. No other man shall lord a
it over my child the way-the way-" d
"The way you have lorded it over
me?" p
Then Mr. Brancepeth laughed. "Well,
Ihave abused you sometimes, Louisa," t
he said. y
"Oh, don't flatter yourself," replied his
wife; "I have been a match for you. And a
so will Jessie be for as good a man, if you
don't marry her to a f reigner by forbid- e
ding it." ii
'Do you mean to say, Louisa-' f,
'Yes, I mean to say. And now if you b
vill listen to reason, as 1 spoke of your do
ing-'
Mr. Brandepeth threw himself back in b
his chair with an air of desperation. 'How
.an I help listening,' said he, *if you will tl
talk? Although as for the reason-' tl
'And I will talk. Do you remember t,
young Paul Despard, who came here for u
you to get his appointment in the Treas.
,ry?'
'Of course. Why shouldn't I? People ti
don't forget their friends' children in a p
day. And I should never have been Sera- it
for of the United States if Paul Despard's ri
rather had sot stood my friend. Besides,
hasn't he been here repeatedly?' Well,
:hen, you remember that when be had al
Seen here six mouths, and seen what life r,
in office really was, and what it led to-'
'Rusts a man's life out !'
'IIe went through the law school, threw tt
tip his office without any ado, and went
West to practice law?' at
Well, well, I don't know that I have the
ime or interest to follow that young man's
:areer along this morning. What of it ?' ci
'This of it. He came back a month or tL
;wo since to try a case before the supreme
-ourt, and is likely to be here for some b4
ime still, I suppose.' I
'And you want to ask him here to stay? a(
'hat is all right. Insist upon it. But to di
etturn to Jessie.' so
'l)Dear ! Jear! deal was there ever any- ki
uing as stupid as a man? Now, ar I was w
oing to s~y, Paul Despard is a rising man;
,e has become a lea.ling lawyer, the soul in
)f honor, noble, generous, tender and
:rue. 1 have se-.tn a good deal of him-'
"So I should judge," said her husband, qt
Iryly. "Oh, go on! Heap it up, and m
lon't mind me. A Senator of the United ce
hates, with three committees and sub- m
oommittees waiting, has nothing to do but
o hear his wife paint the excellencies of '
he first young man--." li
"My dear, are you losing your mind?"
aid Mrs. Brancepeth, with dignity. "If th
'ou have no respect for yourself, have ut
ome for my gray hairs." And she ar- lei
anged the pretty silver love-locks on her
vhite forehead, that made such a contrast
vith the infan tile rose of her complexion
,nd the dewy brightness ot her eyes that
ueople looked twice to see if they were
nistaken in supposing her either an elder
y lady or a young girl. Her husband
4zed at her as much as he did twenty-five
ears ago. -
"To resume," said he. "This perfect
oung man--"
"Is here. And is as much in love with
essie-"
'"In love with Jessie cried Mr. Brance
'eth, sturting to his feet. "Paul Despard
n love with Jessie! The impudent-"
"That's right, dear. That's exactly
hat I want you to do. Keep that up and
on't falter, if you love her yourself.
on't you pretend to consider for one mo- in
ent that` he is honest, virtuous, well
orn, the son of a good husband, a man of tr
itellect and promise--"
"'For heaven's sake, Louisa, what is the
nd ot this?"
"I am urging you to oppose Paul Des- i
ard's suit for Jessie's hand, which he
tial contided to me. As for me, I en
-ourage Jessie in no such nonsense. Iam
bound that she shall marry Prince Vinca,
of the Argentine legation." a
"Haag the Argentine legation ! What 3
lo we want of foreign legations at all ?
Commercial agents would do all the busi
ness America has with foreign countries,
ind rid us of this pest of lounging rascals t
preying on our daughters.
"Very absurd in you, Mr. Brancepeth.
Prince Vinca is a gentleman to the tips of '
its fingers. You might know that by the
way he followed Helen Manser home, and
nto the very vestibule the other twilight, ]
when he had never seen her before, or by e
:he way he lay down along the floor at 1
M[rs. Boteler's ball, when he thought that
,very one worth while had gone down to
he supper room. It is a noble pleasantry -
which adds spice to society. As for the a
tffair with Miss Long, I don't know how t
ie could be expected to marry Miss Long t
when she hadn't a penny and he hadn't
tither. Miss Long needn't have satround a
he parks under the same umbrella with
rim if she hadn't chosen. Because his
)eople at home live on black bread and I
Parilc in the ruined arch of an old esstle, -
t doesn't follow that Jessie will.- She]
ring the revenue, and he will bring the
ank. And just imagine, dear, our Jessle
princess of the old Roman empire !"
"Is it possible," gasped Mr. Branee
.eth-"is it possible that my wife is talk- 1
ug this way?"
Why ? Don't you think it a nice w~y c
o talk?" '
"Nice? Are you quite beside $or
elf?"
"Shall I answer- a fool aerdingto !bl
oily ?"
Mrs. Brancepeth leaned back h ber b
hair, and laughed till the~ d an
i ghtened.
"And so you senl think i tityt? Whes
to you supposie will think,
(ow, Mr. ,Bracep. 1 e.ner saw . e in
-ody whose perceptions were so slow. But a
hoped I could bring you to see that if v
-ou oppose Despard and I urge Vinca, by
vhat may be called a 'resolution of forces'
re may bring about what we do desire. k
she won't do what I want her to do, and
he will do what you don't want her to ti
1o."
Mr. Bracepeth looked at his wife with a e
:leam of intelligence at last.
"A pretty daughter you have, if that is
he way to do !" he cried. "A pretty way o
ou have brought up your daughter!" A
Lnd then le banged from the room like an ,
ngry hornet, leaving on the table Prince c
'inca's note asking for an interview that
vening, just as Miss Jessie came dancing tl
n like a joyous butterfly, and of course d
)und her mother wiping her eyes with her
andkerchief.
"Oh, what is it, mamma?" she cried.
"Your father," said Mrs. Brancepeth,
urying her face again in the cambric- a
your tather-he-he is so indignant to I
Zink of Paul Despard's presumption, he
ireatens to bury us alive on the Colorado
anch. He-he says I have brought you i
p in a pretty way, and he is--as mad as a h
[arch hare !"
"Or a hatter!" said Miss Jessie. "But
iat means midsummer madness, not tem
ers. I declare I think papa might be sat- e
fled with having arranged his own mar
age and let mine alone."
"Oh, Jessie !"
"Well, this is a free country, mamma,
ad I am a grown woman, and I shall mar
' when I wish to, and shall not marry
hen I don't wish to, papa to the contrary o0
atwithstanding." And the naughty- J
mpered Miss Jessie picked out her lace di
iftles and smothered out her pink bows, el
id looked at her mother and laughed. B
Would you, mamma?" said she.
"I don't know, Jessie," said Mrs. Bran- th
ýpeth, wiping her eyes so vigorously that
Bey looked as if tears had been there. lI
You know I am old-fashioned. I have
dliefs, superstitions--I don't know what. it
shouldn'tdare disobey a parent in such a to
iious matter, and expect anything but a
suster to overtake ime. And here--I can't
.y--perhaps your father is right. Ie at
rows Paul De-sp::rd is only making his i
ay, and Prince Vinlca--" tl
"Well, what of Prince Vinca?" said the m
ipatient beauty. JI
"Well he is prince to begin with." w
"Yes I know that," said Jessie, more
lietly. And I don't pretend to say, bi
amma, that the thought of being a prin- ro
as hasn't attractions. But that man-that
an, mamma, he hasn't any attractions." ''
"Prince Viiica!" said her mother.
Why, I'm astonishtd, Jessie. He looks
ke a Roman emperor."
"Yes, just like onet of'those old beasts at
at exhausted the empire for their pleas- in
es. And I s`,ould be one of the things a
I captive in his triumph." th
"Or he in yours."
"I really believe mamma, you want me ce
sell myself for a title."
"I want you to be happy, Jessie," said
rs. Brancepeth, with dignity. lo
"If Paul Despard were only a prince in hi
the Argentine legation-" T
Dear me, Jessie, why will you mention of
mul Despard when you know your tic
Cher would cut you off with a shilling-" .
"Paul Despard would be glad of me of
thoent a penny to my name,' said Jessie. i
Wouldn't Prince Vinca?" let
"Really mamma I don't-believe--bhe en
uld. With all his gasconade about ador
on, I dont't believe he would." th
"Are you certain Jessie?,' said the
plomatic lady, who was gradually work- D
g things in the direction she wished. th4
_"You don't mean that you think he is te
ring to marry you for your money? 1 he
ould hate to have people say you bought in
People will say that anyway. It isn't as
human nature not to say spiteful things.
Chat is the claw of the original wild beast
n us.'
'By the way, Jessie,' said her mother,
I have an appointment with Mrs. Lespin- th
ad at one, and I wish you would order y,
'our phaeton and drive down to the green
iouse. Durkee has gone to market, and ra
Irs. Bunce says we havn't half enough uI
lowers for dinner.' And her mother sat re
hinking of the lovely picture it should be C,
when the child should come driving back y
ii her snowy laces and muslins, her hat
'reathcd with its apple blossoms, and the sh
arriage heaped with hot-house flowers.
But Miss Jessie did not come that way. Ii
might, indeed, say that Miss Jessie nev- of
r came homne at all but that would hard
y be the exact statement. m
As she drove down the avenue, taking to
ack the flowers, and making all the beau- hi
iful picture her mother's fancy had drawn, of
nd more, Miss Jessie detcried, some way
efore her, a tall figure with a book.under til
be left arm. She was not- ready for any a,
iefinite"parley, and shook, the reins loose,
md the detour or a square, to come upon ct
dim face to lace on the narrdo:er' street. el
IAre there two of you?' she cried, before di
be thought; and then she had drawn up er
o the siden alk. 'JIn't this royal sum- at
der?' she said. 'There is something del
=Olao about this heat.' 13
'When you are not on foot,' 'said Paul th
)epard, with the full look of a pair of
Billiant hazel eyes at the lovely obje, g
alt buried in flowers.
'To be sure. And the place is so full I
manot ask you to drive. CGisd you Add a
pot under tftistl bloo o n .V
'Could r nd a ' spot p4ra 4 V
be young Matt had pree fit and ,;
W Wit.? ar*
re Y et d. i
id must get out upon the open some- tb
here.' ht
'You have won your case!' he
'Yes one of them. The other I shall o0
now about before long.' ° ar
'I didn't know you had two of them. In
ie supreme court?' y(
'One of them. And one in the suprem- w
•t court of all.' Y(
'There is no understanding legal lore. ki
:me States have judgesjiind justices, and at
hers have chancellors and surrogates. au
Id there are courts of equit~and admir- m
ity, and superior Goauits Aid supreme Y(
,urts but I never heard of this one-'
'Yet you are the jury who will bring in j.
Le verdict, the judge iho may perhaps
aw on the black cap-'. ta
'Why don't you say excutioner and all?' yc
cant have you talking t4bsurdly.' be
It makes a man talk absulrdly-'
'l'o be driving down 1iurteenth street m
id out on the Rock Creektoad on a sum
er morning?-Don't yosknow I think m
'ashington is more delightfal in the sum- m
er than in the height of the gay season. hi
am al w ays rather glad w An papa is kept be
ire by the long session. t, to be sure-- on
ew Orleans is a good _ cooler-but
te feels in such heat. . like it, and a
ncy I might grow a soul in it, as a flower sa
:pands-' di
'And you are not talking absurdly now ?, h'
'No, indeed. Three months ago I hadn't "'
ty soul; three weeks ago I was just be- of
nuing to be conscious of one; to-day-' P
Well, to-day ?' ge
'Oh, what magnificent woods ! To think lie
such forest glades so near a great city! sc,
ist look down that dell--it is dark and ha
wy still. Oh, see the checkered sunshine ba
the turf ! Why are you stopping here? yO
it it, is too lovely to go oni.'
'I mun stopping here, for you to get tr
rough talking against time,' said her us
inp ioln. 'Do you suppose I came out Ge
re to exclaim over the beauties of na
re? I know the place is beautiful; I feel sti
in the core of my being. No one can dO
ce the semnme of it away from ume. Bitt-- P
the flush imounted her d!ark cheek--' I <l
ve something intinitely more b iautifrul
d pry.cims beidle me, and it is plerIhaIs
the powe\r of sonie one I2 despise to take ku
it away : owm me irrevocably. No; it is as
7 turd now, a;tnd you mIntt listen to me. SO
.t now I have the advan of all the tt:
)rlti ; I am beside you, I hi' your voice, 'n
'eel your presence, and I hesitate to th1
eak the spell. Yet I must; for to-mor- to(
w, perhaps, Prince Vinca may ask you an
be his wife; to-day, I demand that you oti
ali become mine.'
Then there was silence. There was the bel
ushiine checkering the tarf, the stream dal
4rbling below, the d;eaves ~surmatting ur
ove, the birds replying to one another mi
broken l)hrases of song. And there was for
whirl of brroken thoughts sweeping ha,
ough the young girl's brain and taking yo1
ssession of her. The diadem of a prin da
is, the plain black silk of a lawyer's bet
fe, the cheerless palace, the cottage tht
th its wild-rose hedges, and love, love, I
e. Why should papa want her to leave cat
n for that fortune-hunting attache? ed
at, if she understood her mother-and hUt
course she did-was all that his opposi- joy
n to Paul Despard meant. And roam- int'
trying to uphold him, thinking more obe
a title won by some old robber, centuries
ce, than of happiness to-day ! She would
them know that she would not be driv
like kettle cattle. She should think, at A '1
T rate that one's mother would sympa
ze with youth, and hope, and-she C
ned and looked calmly and gravely at wh
spard, waiting and surveying her, and 186
color flashed all over her face, and the frol
rs were ready to sparkle on the tips of big
long lashes, as she finished the sentence He
her mind-and love. got
A re you going to stay here all day ?' she nel
:ed presently, without looking up. i
'Not till I have an answer to--' thr
'Your demand. Don't you think that is qui
ther an autocratical beginning!' rus
'Did I understand,' she said, demurely, mil
en, 'that you demand I should become aft
our wife to day? Won't to-morroiv do?' Bu
'I was not bold enough to dream of such am
pturous possibility,' he said,. ButsI was an:
iwise. To-morrow will not do. You in
member the little brown chapel, Rock oth
*eek church, out here a mile or two? sa3
nu shall give me your answer there.' kin
'Do you.really think it will be the best?' get
e said. 'Are you willing to take a wife sue
ho, if Prince Vinca had postively asked tre
at, she might have been his wife instead chi
yours?' Co:
As for the remainder of the drive that car
nrning, from this delicious resting spot del
the brown chapel, where, the minister of
ppened to be at the door with a throng wo
pickaninnies at his heels, it may be the tra
at for us to remembehr that there are arm
nes and places wherg, 'two are company for
d three are none.' - gal
So you see after all it was not Miss Jessie hin
at returned to Brancepeth mansion that lar
ening, where guests were assembied, at
nner waiting her arrival, and her moth- We
as vainl , endeavoring to conceal her
xiety as a bird that twitters on the stem the
ien her nestlings are threatened. Mrs. wh
mcepeth -felt, and by no means vaguely, co
at something was on hand, but what she nal
ºew not, although her keen woman's wit In
ye her suspicions and hopes Je.sie ;not vot
t returned, but gone itl day; Paul Des- q
rd notyet arrived, but nvitedto dinner, f
r. Br ancttpth l1. Wiaed "Id hfiw pri
Sroom ow airy a ce Prince
i~ ., . atkee j aq her; din
r ,an . ?rianp hot ne:
t age t 'thy kKround; anti posip l
Ift" b ,It
her wo smtlingHow th
Dretua'$ il!C .and tryin mdt
6~:"'W4
it the daughter of the house was letting he
rself in, and, with Paul Despard besides leg
r, was tapping at her father's door. He ity
3ned it himselt, looking flushed and W(
pry. an
Papa,' she said, 'I can't waste any time, set
a know, because I'm afraid dinner's we
iting, and you ought to be upstairs too, in
u neglectful man! Now, papa dear, I his
ew you would never give yonr consent, he
i so I have just taken it without asking, hai
l you mnst forgive me and welcome gri
back, and him, too,' said the breathless ed,
ing woman, 'for I don't see why you an
,uldn't love me just as much as ever, we
t because he loves me tooe'
Jessie! What in the world are you
king about? Why should I forgive har
i? What have you done?' cried her is
'ildered father. hes
Oh, I have married Paul Despard this out
rning!' Thy
ier father surveyed her one wild mo- sco
at as she stood there with her white mi
ulin and laces and apple blossoms and cap
shes and coming tears, while he rub- nee
1 his hands through his hair till it stood rase
end. hin
Well!' he said. Then suddenly, with ma
tal change of expression: 'You have towv
'ed me a great deal of trouble. Here a "c0
ner and a dozen guests waiting, and I not
re been working my way like a book any
rra through the history and genealogy maj
he Vinca family since the days of the one
Lasgi, and afraid of an Argentine dag- me
ifI refused their alliance. 'Prince,' stai
said, turning on his guest behind the blo
:en, 'whatever my own wishes might it
'e been in the matter of which we have muf
n speaking, circumstances have given soft
your answer. Permit me to present ing
Paul Despard, my son-in-law. I The
st this turn in affairs may not deeprive stea
of the pleasure of your friendship.
)d-evening-good-evening.' L
lie has ordered the man to drive to G his
-et,' cried Jessie, in a moment after the stol
r slammed. 'I knew he would. That ing
mer girl's-Well she's welcome, and I as t
e say he will be when he arrives.' the
Irs. Despard,' said her father, 'you and
t go up to dinner as you are. 1 don't sir,
w what your mother will say. As well life
could make out this morning, she was wor
Dent on you marrying this princeling save
for my part I am glad to be let off My
h Despard. It's all highly improper con
ugh, Jessie,'he said, trying to subdue and
broad a smile-'improper and unfilial out
-and expensive; for if I only had an- whl
cr daughter, I should-' you
gut me off with a shilling? You know Tre
.er papa. You know I am your only witl
ing, and 'all of mine is thine,' she out.
,. 'Ail besides, if you 4.J, I ,i: ldn't aiga
d, provided you love mejustth e, got
my husband is a rising lawj6 who of tl
just won his second case. A iow The
must come up and hide me from the ed
of mamma's wrath. I guess you had maj
Cr tell her before all the people, and und
she can'tscold.' the
ut I fancy that when Mrs. Despard the
:ht the glrnce of intelligence that flash
.etween her mother's eyes and her
band's a little anger intruded on her
to think she had fulfilled, without Brow
nding it, the command, 'Children, "'
• your parents.'-Harper's Bazar may
B is to
IN LIBBY PRISON. Wh:
man
Thrilling Incident Illustrative of
the Time and Place. e'
)f the six officers of the regular army tem
to found themselves in. Libby prison in an e
i3-4, one was a fine looking. Colonel here
m Indiana-a big-bodied, big brained, joy
;-hearted fellow, chock-full of energy. that
worked like a steam engine until he shin
out of Libby. Once he found his tun- o00(
too small for his burly form; once he do n
s checked at the outer end of it by bent
ee Confederate soldiers -who had been is in
letly waiting for him; again a clever lieve
se was detected just- as lie got to the Hov
ddle of the gate, and so it went, until He
er he ha:d made a half dozen attempts. no a
t he never gave up, and finally got out, call
I is now a prosperous citizen of Indi- wha
Lpolis, a trifle stouter than when he was the 1
Libby, and a good deal richer; but Wh:
ierwise unchanged. As Uncle Remus His
rs, the Colonel's "min wuz allus wuk- Met
ig." After two or three attempts to he c
out of Libby had failed, he began to the
Ipect that his failures were the result of not I
achery in the prisoners' camp. Ex- If tl
Inge, like kissing, went by favor. The noti
lonel, after thinking each failure over, can
ne to the conclusion that sonme poor shot
7i1 was selling his manhood for a mess man
pottage-currying the favor which dred
uld "exchange" him to his home by be- If tI
ying the plans of his companions in ther
us to the enemy. He looked about him mig
the man. Cautious inquiries at length not
ye him such information as prompted I do
a to say to each of the other five regu- ther
army officers: "Meet me at such a spot I su
midnight. I have found thel traitor. am
will court martial him to-night." It B.
AT 1m IMI .M hon.
kno
six men met in a dark corner,, and- In
ispering voices organized a drur-head kne
irt-martial. The Colonel presented the. s
ne of the suspect, and then his proofs. mor
the ballot that followed each of' the six
ed "guilty." "sow," said ,a 0Col.
el, "this is ... farce. We ,n vote man
itence, and thlu we muet e e mtia."t
very well," said the next maS. ` El,
1 the OrAenel, "I vote ,T he
etch eseiv ia." "k G t," $he i
xea ido ptte n- the
ne, 4itart
he added : "But you know we are not a
legal court-martial. We have no author,
ity to act-certainly jio authority to kill.
We may sift the evidence presented against!
a man for lurtsatisfaction, but we can not
sentence; much less kill him. The most
we can do is to prefer charges against him
in the war department. We can't kill
him-" Suddenly interrupting himself,
he said : "Colonel, what's that in your
hand?" "The rope," said the Colonel,
grimly. "I've been plaiting it as we talk
ed," and he passed it around. He had taken
an old shirt, torn it into narrow strips and
woven it into something that
LOOSi J LIKE A' ROPE.
"Now Major," he said, when it was
handed back to him, "what you have said
is all very well. It does credit to your
heart as well as to your head. But you're
outvoted; the majority is against you.
The sentence of the court is that the
scoundrel shall die, and die he will this
minute, for I'll kill him myself. Come
captain, "he said to the brawny Irishman
next to him, "you and I will settle the
rascal." "Why, you wouldn't strangle
him, in his sleep, would you ?" asked the
major, also on his feet as the others started
toward the sleeping form of the traitor.
"Certainly." whispered the colonel; "why
not? He can't pray, and we can't have
any noise." You never will," said the
major firmly, getting in front of the col
onel; "I won't let you; you'll have to kill
me first. I won't stand by and see you
stain your honest hands with his dishonest
blood in such a way as that. Why, man,
it would be murder. You would be a
murderer. I won't permit it." Gliding
softly before the rest, he reached the sleep
ing man and sat down beside his head.
There he sat till the gray morning came
stealing in through
THE CIHILLY ATMOSP'EEIRE.
Long before that time the colonel and
his companions baffled and disgusted, had
stolen away to their sleeping places, carry
ing the plaited rope with them. As soon
as the major could see the traitor's face in
the dim light of the dawn he awoke him
and told him all that had occured. "Now,
sir," he said sternly, I have saved your
life last night, although I believed you
worthy of death. I won't do it again. I
saved your life for my sake not for yours.
My advice is that as soon as the guard
comes in for roll call you get out of Libby,
and as soon as you get to Washington get
out of the army. If you are in the army
when I get out I'll prefer charges against
you, and if I meet you I'll kill you."
Trembling with excitement the wretch,
without a word of denial or palliation, got
out. The stalwart six forwairded charges
against him ifrom Libby. When they
got out of the prison they found Mlim out
of the army, so they dirpped the matter.
The traitor is in the army now, reinstat
ed by act of Congress, I belive; but the
major who promised to kill him on sight is
under the green sod of the prairie. Still,
the colonel would make things lively for
the traitor if they met face to face.
Col. R. G. Ingersoll's Greed.
DOLL]
Dklyn Union Interview. scre!
The shorter catechism, Colonel, you as h
f remember, says that 'man's chief end awan
glorify God and enjoy Him forever.' his
at is your idea of the chief end of troti
?" ??side
It has always seemed a little curious to Hl
that joy should be held in such con- out?
pt here, and yet promised hereafter as 'T
eternal reward. Why not be happy rega
, as well as in heaven? Why not have of tl
here? Why not go to heaven now- the
is, to-day? Why not enjoy the sun- most
ie of this world, and all there is of and 1
i in it? It is bad enough; so bad that I Go v
lot believe it was ever created by a
eficent deity; but what little good there
it, why not have it ? Neither do I be- plac
e that the end of man is to glorify God. "'I
vcan the Infinite be glorified ? Does to a
wish for reputation ? He has no equals, that
uperiors. How can He have what we ",
reputation? How can He achieve on ti
It we call glory? Why should he wish
lattery of the average Presbyterian ?
at good will it do Him to know that
course has been approved of by the A
,odist Episcopal church? What does come
are, even for the religious weeklies, or a Hi
presidents of religious colleges? I do ders
see how we can help God or hurt Him. hurti
here be an infinite being, certainly Th
ling can in any way affect Him. We hard
affecteach other, and, therefore, man Pres
ald be very careful not to sin against ment
i. For that reason I have said a hun- Th
I times injustice is the only blasphemy. new
ere be a heaven I want to assoeiate
e with the ones who loved me here. I time
:ht not like the angels and angels might
like me. I want to find old friends
not care to associate with the Infinite; abou
e could be no freedom in such society. tons
ippose I am not 'spirituan ' enougnd 000.
somewhat touched with 'worldliness.' Pr
eenms to me that everybody ought to be fishii
eat enough to say about te -Infinite : 'I a we
w nothing;' of eternal joy: ' have no prod
ueption;' a bout another world: 'I Th
w nothfWg.' At the ame time I am been
attacking ai y for beieving in im- thou
tality. The more a man can hope, and of a
less ie can, fear, the better. Ihave Dr
e what I could to dr've fow caes
Sheart the shadow of e termod il #
It to put out the firea fai oantand te
z t 4of mr ent. and inj t
Sdefletive for fry" the a
S-ient to
{od s r
HE WAS NO SLOUCH.
But the Machinery DIidn't Work
When He Tried to Demonstrate
the Fact.
The other day Bill Iliggonson, a well
known character of the White Springs
neighborhood, .came to this city in com
pany with several young ladies, to one of
whom he was engaged to be married. Bill
has always thirsted for notoriety. He
wants to be known by the leading men in
town, and to show the people of his com
munity that, although born in obscurity
and reared on the farm, he can address
prominent men in a familiar way. While
the young ladies were at the hotel Bill
went into a wholesale store, and approach
ing a man who sat in the office, said:
"Cap'n, you can do me a big favor, if
you will. I've get a lot of gals in town
with me, an' I wanter show 'em that I
ain't no slouch. I want 'em to go home
an' say that Bill--that's me--come to town
an' was knowed by the big bugs. Now, I
want to make this agreement with you.
I'll go away, an putty soon I'll come
aroun' with the gals an' come in here,
slap you on the shoulder an' say, "Old
chap, how do you hold out? Then you
slap me, an.' say, 'Why, Bill, old boy, I'm
glad to see you.' That will be blowed all
over my country, an' will be wuth money
an' character to me, lemme tell you."
The gentleman said that he did not ob
ject to helping a young fellow along, and
that the aspiring William might come in
and slap him, when he would go through
his part of the programme.
Bill, highly delighted with the arrange
ment, went to the hotel and told the girls
that he wanted them to walk with him.
As they walked along toward the store,
Bill said:
"Now I'm going to show you 'Liza,
that you ain't going to marry no slouch.
I'll show you that your own Bill is looked
up to an' liked in this town, an' he is on
terms with the best of 'em."
The girl laughed self-complacently, and
declared that it was nice to marry a man
that "wan't a stranger an' a slouch."
When they reached the store Bill con
ducted the ladies to the office, where a man
sat looking over accounts, he was not the
man with whom the arrangements had
been made, but Bill did not recognize the
cifference. Advancing, he struck the man
a pretty heavy slap, and exclaimed :
"Hello, old chap, how are you holdin'
out?"
The gentleman sprang to his feet and
glared at William, but William, without
embaressment, punched hith among'the ribs
and said : "Old chap, how are you holdin,
out'?"
"Look out, here! Whitt do you miean?"
x"Look out, here ! Whit do you mean?"
"No foolin,' old boy. Dont you re
member the agreement?" he added in an
undertone. "It's me; don't you recognize
the man what seed you jes' now?" and
then, as he fancied he saw a change of
,ountenance, lie jolted the gentleman
among the truncate ribs and exclaimed,
'How are you holdin' out?"
The gentleman "hauled off" with an ink
bottle and knocked Bill down. The girl
icreamed and ran away, and Bill, as soon
is he was able to regain his feet, skulked
Lway. When lie reached the hotel with
tis face all besmeared with ink, his be
trothed ran to him, l)unched him in the
tide and said:
Hello, old chap, how are you 'holdin'
)ut?"
This settles it with us," he said sadly,
-egarding the girl with a look that spoke
)f the melancholy yellow leaf. "Jest at
;he time I need your sympathizin' the
nost, when old frien's go back on me
Lnd knock me down, you jine the enemy.
•o and pay your hotel bill an' go home."
"Ain't you goin' to pay my bill?"
"Nary a red."
"Would you see me disgraced right in a
>lace whar there's so many folks?"
"That ain't my look out. Iain't agoin'
o pay nary a cent fur you."
"Then I'll take all back an' I am sorry
hat I made fun of you."
"Nuff said. Come an' put your head
in this manly shoulder."
Popular S4.ience.
A pine floor in a gold-worker's shop be
omes in ten years worth $150 a foot.
High medical authority denounces blin
lers upon horses as useless, ugly and
turttul to the sight.
The treatment of leprosy is becoming a
bard problem in India. In the Bombay
rresidency, 9483 eases are under treat
nent.
The French are experimenting with a
mew rifle, designed for infantry use, which
s said to discharge three projectiles at a
ime.
The paper mills of the world number
bout 4000, and produce yearly 959,000
ons of paper, giving employment to 192,
K)0.
Prof. Huxley holds that an acre of good
ishing ground will yield more food in a
week than an acre of the best land will
irodtuce in a year.
The human footprints supposed to have
been found at Carson in the shale are now
bought to be the impressions of the feet
f a large sloth.
Dr. Bremer, in a German journal advo
ates exercise in the high, fine air inathe
n~ontapai a bt~~et protection agattt
he dia0as tet4t in icity life.;
.Bora cd, w' eauite pure, Jnot
njutiort t tom ht '4st.em, and, be
so aed is believed to be well
a b:ts ous diasea .e
ab ucht tnslly so
nwa year the ex
rk ti ng to 7,00

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