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THE YEAR'S ASTROLOGY.
Dire and Fearful Happenings Prophecied by Astrological Ravens. [New York Tribune] It was a long time pretty generally under derstood by people who put their trust in Mother Shipton that our planet would become a total wreck at some period during the year upon which we have so prosperously entered. Now the rolling up of the heavens like a Ecroll, the general liquefaction of matter un der fervent heat and the disorganization of the universe into a "wilderness of tempestu ous combustion" is not an event which the mass of mankind would be likely to contem plate with sereity, provided it was set down for a date certain and near at hand, say Saturday week. According to the theory of the universe proposed by Boscovich, there may be, it is true, no ultimate chaos and con flagration, but in their stead a quiet and sud den vanishing of world . If matter, as the ingenious Italian holds, does not consist of hard atoms, but is only a mode or a combi nation of modes of motion-a congeries of mathematical centres of attraction and repul sion-the visible and palpable universe is only a constant and uniform emanation of creative energy which may cease instantaneously, for it is quite as easy to conceive of the with drawal of this energy as of its continued ex ercise by a Supreme Will. The end of all things, therefore, may be "not a destruction" but a rest; not a crash and ruin, but "a pause." But granting the correctness of this hypothesis, an instantaneous vanishing into nothingness is not to be contemplated with out emotion by perscns of regular habits, for this would quite as seriously disturb ordinary business as would the passing away of the he.e.veus with a great noise. Upon the whole then, devout believers in the old lady are justified in taking comfort in the abundantly established fact that the famous prophecy, "To an end the world will come: in eighteen hundred and eighty-one," was never uttered by Mother Shipton, but is an impious forgery which nowhere appears in the textus receptus of her forebodings. And yet there are persons quite as familiar with the Future as Mother Shipton and quite as competent to unroll the volume of destiny who assert that during this fatal year the skies will be all ablaze with portents of evil. The Almanac of Z tdkiel Tao Sze and the Prophetic Messenger of Raphael for 1881 are both works by recognized authorities in astro logical science. Their prophecies, it is true, traverse each other in minor details, as, for instance, when a certain aspect of the heav ens is interpreted by one to fortell a prevalent and suffocating disease of the human wind pipe, and by the other to signify a devastating tidal wave; but they agree in predicting that a great many unpleasant things will come to pass. The most mischievous planetary in fluence will come from the conjunction of SAturn and Jupiter. This event is set down by the astrologers for April 18, which hap pe Is to be four days ahead of time, and it is to be hoped that this error will vitiate some of their calculations. It takes place in Tau rus, near the cusp of the 9th house. Now taurus is a beastly and unhealthy sign, and Raphael is probably correct when he states that horned cattle will be afflicted with mur rain before mankind is wasted by the plague. No one will have the hardihood to question Zadkiel's assertion that "the Bull rules Ire land," and therefore he holds that this con junction in Taurus presignifies sedition and rioting in that island. But Taurus rules Asia Minor as well, and it is to be noted that the last great conjunction in this sign, which happened in 1146, was followed by the blood iest of the crusades and a violent brandishing of the shillelah. But this conjunction is only one of the threatening aspects of the skies. It will be quickly followed by the conjunction of Jupiter and Neptune; then Mars will join Neptune, and soon after Jupiter and Mars will meet. All these conjunctions will take place in Taurus and presage woes untold. Be sides this the four great planets are rapidly approaching their perihelia, and before the earth recovers from the baneful effects of one, another will be abstracting the vital principles from our atmosphere. These near ly coincident perihelia have not occurred since the fourteenth century, when the Black Death swept over Europe, culminating in the London plague. Terrible as will be the results of the intense planetary activity in the times next ensuing, Ztdkiel comforts the world by the assurance that a foreknowledge of these perils will greatly mitigate them, as, for instance, the prudent will remain on shore during the days when shipwrecks are foretold, and they will check the advance of Asiatic cholera by pro phylactic doses of spirits of camphor. Ra phael's forecast is more gloomy. In his opinion the afflictions which will begin in February proximo will accumulate in number and severity as the planets sweep nearer to 1 the sun, until the world blows up like a steam boiler, possibly in the spring of 1887. A few of the woes to, come, picked at random from these cheerful prophecies, are added as a stimulant to the "swearing off" industry, I which usually passes through a period of de= pression immediately after the first day of the year; Blight, mildew, unkind seasons, insurrection, sunstrokes, brain-fevers, strikes 6 of railroad employes, the war fiend let loose, i robberies, crimes of violence, agitationin the ( Stock Exchange, uprising of islands and the i subsidence of continents, the insanity :of c three distinguished women, confiscation, tor nadoes, want;, famine, colliery explosions, s meteors, lightning, volcanic eruptions, pla gues, a driving storm of balls of fire, increas ed bus:ness in the divorce courts, separation of church from State, atheism, wife-beating, the air impure and motionless, the sun lurid and obscure, birds refraining from song, beasts groaning with anguish, and a feeling of dread and dismay among the inhabitants of the earth. These are samples of a full line of affliction in assorted sizes which the pro phets have in stock to suit every demand. This year's astrology will make agreeable reading for Mr. Nasby, for if the predicted calamities all arrive on schedule time the floodtide of disaster ought to be high enough to float the Democratic party into power. Chinese Architecture. A San Francisco paper says: "The Orien tal architecture as presented to us on Front street is vastly different from the pagoda structures whch were given to our youthful visions. The same light and unsubstantial style, however, can be discovered. In China all buildings are of that kind that one blast of wind or a moment's fire will sweep them to destruction. The transition from bamboo to inch plank is so great that the very scanty use of the latter is to them almost a heathen innovation. Their effort at ornamentation of the gable is on the paper tinsel style-a style not known or recognized in any of the orders. Red is their favorite color, and four panes of glass constitute a window, at least one of which is obscured by red tissue paper. There is a marked peculiarity about the side walks which are constructed in front of their dwellings. Each house has its own grade; where convenience would even establish a uniform grade there is a jumping off place at every ten foot tenement. The height of their houses is regulated on the Dutchman's "streak of lean and streak of fat" policy. First comes a building, always battened, never sided, twelve or fifteen foot posted; then a squatted six footer. Sometimes there is a second story. When tha t is the case the stair is almost on the outside. The lumber on or in these houses is dried by perpetual fire, and seasoned with the fumes of opium. It is said that a conflagration in one of the Chin ese quarters in San Francisco makes the at mosphere highly soporific. This opium is a costly drug, hence its fumes must not be wasted, and hence their rooms are almost air tight. A cat hardly finds oxygen enough to support life. Every house has a cellar; you get into it by a trap door. The stair to the cellar is on an angle of about ten degrees, and when you reach it, it will be found to be of dimensions only sufficient to hold one white man, while it will easily hold half a dozen Chinamen. What these holes are all made for is a matter of uncertainty. They may be made to bury cabbage or the victims of their displeased Joss. There is not a bed stead in the whole of Chinatown. The hunks are fastened to the wall like the bunks of an Artistic whaleship. T'he beds are soft as an oak plank, and sleeping rooms are dark, like midnight. All of the above you can see in Chinatown. We only wish that street could be planted for twelve hours in the middle of Pennsylvania avenue. There then would be no need of a Chinese Commission." Fighting Indians. A brave boy who kept twenty Indians at bay died of his wounds, a few days ago, at Denver, Col. Three days after the battle of White river, in which the gallant Thornburgh lost his life, Freeman Z. Wray, who was in charge of cattle forty-five miles north of White River agency, was attacked by a band of savages. He contrived to get his rifle and to make so good a defense that they be took themselves to a ravine and besieged him at their leisure. After a while he got out of ammunition, and was forced to climb into a wagon to get a new supply. While he was executing this movement a bullet struck him in the calf of the leg, passing directly through, in another instant another ball caught him at the hip and knocked him down. With a whoop and a yell the savages ran toward the spot, expecting to take their plucky foe prisoner. But they were again foiled, for Wray was only down temporarily, and, getting to his feet again, scrambled into the wagon, where lay his ammunition. He pulled a sick of flour in front of him and piled a bag of beans on top of that, and took hold of such other articles within reach as made for him a barricade against the shower of balls that was promised. Rapidly cutting a hole in the canvass wagon cover he saw the Indians approaching. Leveling his rifle he fired at the foremost of his pursuers, without the ball taking effect. This threw the In dians into confusion and they retreated to the walls of the ravine. They threw a hail storm of bullets into the side of the wagon where the plucky boy lay intrenched. One of these leaden messengers caught young Wray in the right eye, crashing through his brain. The Indians finally retreated. After protracted delay the boy's wounds were dressed and the ball extracted, and after five month's nursing he seemed to be entirely well, although he had lost the use f one eye. One of his wounds broke out afresh eighteen months after the fight, and caused his death. It is generally supposed that the Canadians are a.somewhat, slow and sober_ people. It is therefore with pain -that we leamrn that 4, 000,000 Canadians drank 5,000,000 gallons ;f whiskey last year, not: to mention other d-rinks that cheer, and also inebriaIe. We positively protest against the` annexation of suchi~;: a-~- ···.' country FLOATING FANOIES. Now just listen to those cats- Horrid cats ! How their caterwauling all repose and sleep combats! Hear them howling, howling, howling, In the silence of the night, Spitting forth their spiteful growling, And their cursed, dismal yowling; How they yell, yell, yell, Like a pack of fiends from hell, In their wierd con-cat-enation of unearthly shrieks and squalls ! Worse than cries from fifty brats Is the racket of those cats- Of the cats, Who will drive us crazy with the horror of their bawls. The trouble about an "open winter" is that too much cold weather is apt to get in. A gun is loaded with powder; a table is loaded with the delicacies of the season. Both go off and both kill. "When I die," said a married man, "I want to go where there is no snow to shovel." His wife said she presumed he would. "I believe in ventilation," said a New Ha ven man, proudly. "I have a fresh heir at the house this morning-weight 8? pounds. A disappointed mother: "I wanted to have for sons-in-law, counts, barons, mar quises. Instead of that I have-what ? A wagon painter and a letter carrier!" An exchange says the national debt, in sil ver dollars, could be removed by rail by load ing 5,550 cars with ten tons each. We can't believe it. If it was so, why isn't it done? "I see you are generally full," remarks a person who sends a poem, "but I hope this may get in." Notwithstanding the cruel charge of the writer, her request was grant ed as soon as the basket could be emptied. Among the replies to an advertisement of a music committee for an organist, etc., was the following : "Gentlemen, I noticed your advertisement for an organist and music teacher, either lady or gentleman. Having been both for several years, I offer you my services." There are none so deaf as those who won't hear. "Father," said a young reprobate, pitching his voice so the old gentleman would be sure to hear, "let me have $100." "Eh," said the parent, inclining his ear. "Let me have $200." I heard you quite distinctly the first time, my son, quite distinctly." A clergyman lost his hat one evening, and was obliged to go home with a shabbier one, which had been left in place of it. Next day the hat was returned by the penitent ap propriator, who thus apologized: "I'll nev I er take a minister's hat again. You cannot think what queer things I've had running through my head ever since I put that hat on." It was on the Burlington railroad train and politics had given way to theology, and the young man with a turban hat had the floor, and was denouncing the old-fashioned idea of hell. "I tell you," he cried, "man was never intended for such a fiendish punish ment. God never made me for kindling wood." "Reckon not," said the old parson, back near the stove; "too green." Sol. Smith Russell tells the following story of his experience as an entertainer: At a small Ohio town, where he had given a per formance the night before, he met at the de pot the following morning an elderly granger who, peacefully munching a huge quid of tobacco, intently eyed the humorist and final ly said : "Say, mister, han't you the feller wot give the show up to Smoot's hall last night ?" "Yes," replied Russell, "I did give an entertainment last night." "Wall, I thought you was the chap. I want to tell you bout a boy 'o mine. You ought to have him; he's jest the feller for your show; he's the biggest fool I ever see. T. E. CoL LINS, L. H. HERSHFIELD CHAs. E. DUER, A. HERSHFIELD, Fort Benton. Helena. -OF NORTHERN MONTANA Transact a General Banking Business. Keep current accounts with merchants, stock men and others, subject to be drawn against by checks without notice. PAY INTEREST on TIME DEPOSITS We buy and sell Exchange on the commercial centers of the United States. WE WIL GIVE SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE BUSINESS OF IbBITHERN AND CENTRAL And will make such loans to stock men and farmers as are suited to their requirements. SLocal Beo urities a Specialty.. Collections and all other business entrusted to us will coLLINS, DUER & CO. 'i~tt~oxD BEUILWNG.~t~: r FORTi :~~QTBzwro~a~.-ix, .T. OGI EDTAL SALOg T! Nick Welch ]Proprietor. - _ __---------- --- at ront Street, Fort Benton. hoeaeanetlG SAN3 II Dii EALE N 'I tw& d SEt a 0 oAeAL a . J BTZ FORPATENT MEBIONES PAIMONT AN AILS, -STORAGE AND COI ISSION. yCOrIer Of FtrOn n BOn Sis., Fort Ben8t1on. D R TY GOODS, CLOTHING, 1 ;ic BOOTS AND SHOES, FURS AND EAPELTRIES, iat ve WISTS,O RAG 01EN ACIO MISASI p-Our Grocery Department embraces all Staple and Fancy Articles, a few of which are Fresh Corn Meal, OatMeal, Rice, Beans, Canned Dried Fruits, Lard, Bacon lot SPTEront Street, Fort BentD on.LS, Lat d This popular otel is situated in the centrone of the best selected towns ever imported into the businessrritory, and thouses, and opposite the steamboat lal nding.t ahe number of New Rooms have beFen recently added, and nothing is left undone which will contribute to the comfort and convenience of guests. JOHN HUNSBERGER, P ROPRIETOR. ALL COACHES RUNNING INTO FORT BENTON ArlIVE AT AND SDEPART FROM THI.S HOTEL ra+" .. ...S E ND+ .......+ + .......... ... . +++++ + + + ++ + +++ ++++ ++++ + +++ ... + + + +++++ + + +++m++ ++ ++ + + + . ..+++++ + ++++ ++ . . . + . . .. ,+ y + +! ++ + u Grcr ....ten em rae .. ......dFac atces fw ofw ic ........ .. ++ - Frs Cor .el ++.. Mel + r '. , Bens Cane and Drie Fris ]Lard, + + ,