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PLAIN LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL
ROS. Which I wish to remark And my language is plain For ways that are dark, And for tricks not in vain, The heathen Jim Gee is peculiar, And so is the heathen Jim Blaine. Jim Gee was his name, And I always thought that He was gentle and tame, And as weak as a cat; For his smile it was pensive and childlike, As I often remarked to Tom Platt. It was March twenty-third, And quite soft were the skies, Whence it might be inferred That Jim Gee was likewise, But he played on that day upon Thomas And ME in a way I despise. Which he did nominate Woodford, Payn, all the band That were down on my slate, And played into my hand; And he smiled as he sat in the White House A smile I could not understand. Yet the game was not fair, I regret to disclose; 'Twould have made a man swear How I trod on his toes And drove his hat in on his shoulders, And the same with intent to bulldoze. But the point that was made By that heathen Jim Gee ' When I thought him afraid Was quite frightful to see; For Robertson he made Collector, And the same without consulting ME. Then I looked upon Platt, And Platt gazed upon me, And he stamped on his hat And said: "Well, I'll be d-- ! We are ruined by this nomination; Let us go for the heathen Jim Gee !" In the game that ensued I did just take a hand,. And the struggle was viewed With alarm through the land, And I found that Jim Gee was a Tartar, Though his smile was so childlike and bland. He called back the names Of Payn, Woodford, all mine Old friends, and said: "James Fights it out on this line Although it should take him all summer;" So what could I do but resign ? Which is why I remark, And I say it with pain, For ways that are dark And for tricks not in vain The heathen Jim Gee is peculiar, And so is the heathen Jim Blaine! --Chic. PICTURES RY TELEGRAP1H. One of thbe ost lt1arvelous of Modern Inventions. [Amel ican Queen.] It is certainly a fact that, by a recent in vention, pictures of all kinds can now be sent by telegraph. Colors cannot be trans mitted, but all pictures which result from combinations of light and shade, such as photographs, steel engravings, wood-cut prints, India-ink sketches, pen sketches and crayon pictures are reproduced in five min utes, at a distance of 100 miles, with aston ishing accuracy. Checks have been so faith fully copied by this process that the copy has been honored at the bank without ques tion. New York newspapers have been re produced in Philadelphia entire-the image being sent by telegram, and every faintest dot and blemish brought out on paper. We should be glad to tell the readers of the Queirn exactly how this is done, but it is by a chem ical process so complicated as to defy ex planation in ordinary terms. .Nature (the recognized authority in science in England), comes as near as possible, perhaps, when it says: "In the transmitter, the image was fo cussed on a revolving cylinder, to which a selenium cell is attached. At the other end of the wire a platinum point presses against the surface of sensitive paper prepared by passing it through a strong solution of equal parts of iodide of potassium and water. The arrangement is such that the selenium cell, by interrupting the current, causes a white spot to appear on the receiver corresponding in size and shape to the picture focussed on the transmitting cylinder. The experiments are as yet crude, but full of promise." This is not quite intelligent to the average reader, because the facts of the case call for scien tific terms, and cannot be expressed in popu lar phraseology. But the important fact is that the pictures are sent; that photographs are admirably reproduced at a distance; and that, if the promise of the invention is ful filled, a New York paper will soon be re printed in Chicago on the very day, and per haps the very hour of issue. So much that is incredible has been made a fact during the last half century that he must be a bold man who ventures to place a boundary to the pos sible achievements of scientific ingenuity in this wonderful age. The Deaeoness Fooled. While most of our traveling men, our commercial tourists, are nice, Christian gen tlemen, there is occasionally one who is full of the Old Nick as an egg at this time of the year is full of malaria. There was one of them stopped at a country town a few nights ago, where there was a church fair. He is a blond, good-natured looking, serious talk ingchap, and having stopped at that town every month for a dozen years, everybody knows him. He always chips in toward a collection, a wake, or a rooster fight, and the town swears by him. He attended the fair, and a jolly little sister of the church, a mar ried lady, took him by the hand and led him through the green fields, where the girls sold him 10-cent chances in saw-dust dolls, and beside still waters where a girl sold him sweetened water with a sour stomach for lemonade, from Rebecca's well. The sister finally stood behind him while the Deacon was reading off numbers. They were drawing a quilt, and. as the numbers were drawn all were anxious to know who drew it. Finally, after several numbeis were drawn, it was announced that No. 15 drew the quilt, and the little sister turned to the traveling man and said : "My, that is myrnumber, I have drawn it. What shall I do ?" Hold your ticket and shout keno!" said he. The little deaconess did not stop to think that there might be guile lurking in thattravellng man, but full of joy at draw ing the quilt, and ice cream because the trav eling man bought it, she rushed into the crowd toward the deacon, holding her num ber, and shouted so they could hear it all over the house, "KaIxo !" If a binl had burst in the building there couldn't have been so much astonishment.. The Deacon turned pale and looked at the poor little sis ter as if she had fallen from grace, and all the church people looked at her sadly, while the worldly-minded people snickered. The little woman saw that she had got her foot into something, and she blushed and backed out, and asked the traveling man what keno meant. He said he didn't know exactly, but he had always seen people when they won anything at that game yell "keno." She is not exactly clear yet what keno is, but she says she has sworn off on taking advice from pious-looking traveling men. They call her little keno now. Beaconsfield's Imperturbillily. [London Lancet.] Under ordinary circumstances, Mr. Dis raeli would sit for long stretches of: time during the violent or terribly irritating at tack of a political opponent, with nearly closed eyes, as though asleey. When the onslaught waxed furious, he would as though with all engrossing intent, fix his gaze at the toes of his boots, moving them slowly so as to bring all points under observation. If the taunts or reproaches hurled at him were of such a nature as to make any other man furious, he would straighten himself and brush some particles of dust from the front of his buttoned-frock coat, or from the sleeve of his left arm. Then he would ex amine his nails, and, as a climax, when few statesmen so assailed could avoid some to ken of emotional restlessness, he would per haps, take out his single eye-glass, and fix ing it firmly, look for an instant at the clock in the front of the gallery opposite Mr. Speaker, dropping the glass with one quick elevation of his eyebrow. Belief in the Buddhist F.alth We had the very great advantage of the presence of a highly educated priest, Aka matz, who had been to Europe, to study and report on the religions of the West, and who spoke English very well, having been two and a half years in England. * * * It may be interesting to some of my readers to learn that this excellent priest, possessing knowledge of England and the English, and also the chief priest who was our host on this occasion, find embraced in that section of the Buddhist faith all that they consider good and true in the Christian religion, and are not without hope of seeing England adopt this view, and with it the -tenets and practice of their faith, which they consider most excellent. It will be gratifying, doubt less, to the many good people at home who look upon Buddhists as eligible for conver sion to their particular views of the Christian religion, (whatever they happen to be in each case), to find their own generous and bene ficent intentions so entirely reciprocated. There was a young man in Podunk Who once tried to capture a skunk; But the skunk got away, And that young man to-day Has his clothes camphored up in a trunk. WOOL WANTED. I will pay the highest market price for Montana ool, delivered at Helena or at Fort Benton. PARIS CIBSON. J, C. GUTHRIE, Front Street, one door above Murphy, Neel & Co.'s New Store, IFORT BENTON, 11M. T. Bread, Cakes and Pastry IN EVERY VARIETY. Orders promptly filled and delivered to any part of the Town. We make a Specialty of WEDDING CAKE And Party Orders. BARKER DISTRICT Main St,, next door to Court House, FORT BENTON. JOHN C. LILLY, Proprietor. The very best Wines, Liquors and Cigars Kept constantly on hand. GO EAST -VIA THE Chicago &North Western RAILWAY. 2,390 MILES OF ROAD. The Suit, SnoBR and Sar. route between St. Paul, Fort Pierre, -AND- CHICAGO AND MILWAUKIE. And all points East and North, also Council Bluffs and Chicago. Regular connections with the 'Northern Pacific to Bismarck and the Uppet Missouri River. At Council Bluffs the Through Trains of the Chi cago & North-Western and the Union Pacific Rail ways depart from, arrive at and use the same joint Union Depot. It you wish the Best Traveling Accomodations you will buy your tickets by this Route Ie~ AND WILL TAKE NO OTHER. All Ticket Agents can sell you Through Tickets via this road and Check usual Baggage Free of Charge. 1 Omaha Ticket Oflieps-1824 Farnam Street, Cor. 14th, and at Union Depot. Council BluftB Ticket Offices-Cor. Broad way and Pearl Street, C. & N.-W. Railway Depot, and Union Pacific Transfer Depot. For information, folders, maps, etc., not obtainablen at Home Ticket Office, address any agent of the Com pany, or' Marvin Hughitt, W. H. Stennett, Gena'MJanager, Genl Pass. Agent, rICicAo, ILL. Owing to the late ar rival of Steamers, we are compelled to ask our friends to wait a few days yet for our GRAND OPENING, Which will take place Wednesday June 8. Remember the place, one door below the COURT HOUSE. Baker DeLorimer, FEPRRY I PERRY ! LYNCH & FLINT Have completed their new boat and it is now making regular trips. The boat is the Largest and Best on the upper river and is absolutely safe. Travellers will find us on hand at all hours of the day and night. CHARGES REASONABLE. A I SIN G, Benton Wash House, COft. MAIN AND ST. JOHN STREETS. WASHING AND IRONING Done with neatness and dispatch. FAMIILY WASHING SOLICITED. AUI}UST 0. BEOKMIAN, Manufacturer and Dealer in HARNESS and SADDLES BRIDLES, Whips, Spurs, Etc. The Best Stock always used. Good Workmanship, and Satisfaction Guaranteed. My Harness and Saddles are all made at home. .Carriaye Trimmimg & UIpholstering DONE IF REQUIRED. A large stock of the Celebrated MILLS, LEAK & 00,'S GLOVES Always on hand. BENTON BA T H HOUSE. -AND BARBER SHOP, Rowe's Building, Near the Overland Benton, M. T. BRYER & DUTRIUIELLE T OULD RESPECTFULLY INFORM THEIR friends and the public in general that they are now prepared to give Hot and. Cold Baths at all Times. MEDICATED BATHS. T HEY would also call the attention of the afflict ed to their fie Medicated Baths. containing all the constituent parts of the most celebrated mineral springs, for the cure of RHEU IATI SM, LIVER CO1MiPLi:INTS, SCOrBUTIC AFFECTIONS, LUAI1BAGO. and all other disea-. s of the flesh and nerves: pre pared from receipts ~,t one of the Most Expert Analytical Chemists of this age. By permission they refer to the Physicasns of Benton. They are also propri etors of Villa Franca Celebrated Sea Foam & Dutriutele9s Turksh Creanm, or Cleansing Balm, which thoy keep constantly on hand and for sale. G. D. STORER, Brickmaker -AND CONTRACTOR. Will Contract for the Erection of Brick or Frame Buildings, YARD BACK OF THE BUTTE, FORT BENTON, MONTANA. BRICK ALWAYS ON HAND, AT REA SONABLE PRICES. Wanted tO Trade. BENTON REAL ESTATE FOR LIVE TOCK! The undersigned has quite a number of choice bu siness and residence lots in the town of Benton, a few of which he will trade for dairy cows, stock cattle or horses e WM. H. TODD 0 .0 ,m0 op Wood Choppers Wanted. Wood Choppers wanted to cbop wood for a govern ment contract sit Fort Shaw. None but good choppers need apply. W. MULCAHY, Sun River, M. T. PETER SMITH, COFFIN MAKER, -AND General Undertaker, HEAD OF BOND STREET, FT. BENTON, M ITIONTANA. FURNITURE REPAIRING A SPECIALTY. FRED L. KING, House, Sin adr Ornamental Painter, Orders for work of all kinds promptly executed at lowest rates. Orders by Mail will receive Prompt attention. Wovey kind and size of Glazed Sash kept for sale Rates given on application. SHOP ON LOWER MRAIN STREET, Helena, M. T. JOHN H. GAMBLE, Front Street, a few doors above postoffic. PROPRIETOPETER OF OE SFITR AKERY GeneFort Benton, derontakena.r, ONA FESPECTIONIARYTY. Of ali kinds always on hand. We make a specialty of turning out the BEST BREAD IN BENTON, and customrders canfor work of all kiwayns promptly eupon gettinged t loFresh Bread at all times. OrdersWill always receive prompt attention.mpt In Seasttenion. RateGoods Delivered Promptly. Goodu Delivere4 Promptly. BENTON STABLES, McDEVITT & WRICHT, PROPRIETORS. LIVERY, FEED and SALE STABLE Day and Night Herd. Horses Boarded by the Day or Week. Saddle Horses, Light and Heavy Turnouts FURNISHED ON SHORT NOTICE AND AT REASONABLE RATES. OVERLAND HOTEL Front . Street, Fort Benton. This popular Hotel is situated in the centre of the town, convenient to. the business houses, and opposite the steamboat landing. A number of New Rooms have been recently added, and nothing is left undone which will contribute to the comfort and convenience of guests. JOHN HUNSBERGER, P ROPRIETORt. ALL COACHES RUNNING INTO FORT BENTON ARRIVE AT AND DEPART FROM THIS HOTEL. LUMBER, SHINGLES, LATH, ETC. We are nu, raftitL hunmber From Sticknly Cieek to the Faiih, And will deliver lumber to order at any point along the banks of the Missouri from Stickney Creek to Benton. HOLTER & ELLS, Care Wi. IfOOlRE, enaton Road,. NEIL IiclNTYRE, Dealer in BOOaTSI D S 8O FI'ront Str'eet, two door:¢ above PosI t Ofce, FORT D:EN'1T1ON. Ladies' and fiisses' Shoes GENTS' W.ALKING SHIO.E CUSTOMIMADE B OT & S Ro0, Employs none but the very best workmen and can guarantee a sure fit every time. fIX KABAKER, Dealer in TOBACCOS, CIGARS, Stationery, A full assortment of all classes of pa. pers, xovels and books of all description always on ha.i d. CONFECTIONERY, NUTS. CANDLES FRUITS, NOTIONS, ETC. ICE-COLD LEMONADE Now on hand. FRONT ST., FORT BENTON. FRANK'S INEWS DEPOT, TOBACCO AND CIGARS CONFEOTIONERY, NUTS, CANDIES, Fruits of all Descriptions. CUTLERY, PLAYING CARDS Perfumery and Fancy Soaps. Full Line of Smokers' Articles, Seaside Libraries, Novels of all dscriptions, and alt the Illustrated Papers. RIVER BLACKSMITH SHOP Cor. Power and Franklin Streets, FT. BENTQON, * ItmONTANA. 0Horse, Mule& DxShoeing A SPECIALTY. WAGON REPAIRING, have employed the best wood worlkmen in the Terri tory, and can guarantee good work and entire satisfaction Blacksmithing in all its Branches. RUFU:S PAY N E, Propr~ietor. GOOD WORK AT REASONABLE PRICES.