The river press. [volume], June 29, 1881, Page 2, Image 2

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MARK TWAIN ON MILITARY SCIENCE
Response to a Toast.
To the regular toast, "The benefit of ju
dicious training," Mr. Samuel L. Clemens,
(Mark Twain,) responded as follows :
"Let but the thoughtful civilian instruct
the soldier in his duties, and the victory is
sure. "-Martin Farquhar Tupper on the Art
of War.
MR. CHAIRMAN : I gladly join with my
fellow townsmen in extending a hearty wel
come to these illustrious Generals and war
scarred soldiers of the Republic. This is a
proud day for us, and, if the sincere desire
of our hearts has been fulfilled, it has not
been an unpleasant day for them. I am in
full accord, Sir, with the sentiments of the
toast, for I have always maintained with en
thusiasm that the only wise and true way is
for the soldier to fight the battle and the un
prejudiced civilian to tell him how to do it.
Yet when I was invited to respond to this
toast, and furnish this advice and instruction
I was almost as much embarrassed as I was
gratified, for I could bring to this great ser
vice but the one virtue of absence of preju
dice and set opinion. Still, but one other
qualification was needed, and it was only of
minor importance. I mean, knowledge of
the subject. Therefore I was not disheart
ened, for I could acquire that, there being
two weeks to spare. A General of high rank
in this Army of the Potomac said two weeks
was really more than I would need for the
purpose. He had known people of my style
who had learned enough in forty-eight hours
to enable them to advise an army. Aside
from the compliment, this was gratifying,
because it confirmed an impression I had had
before. He told me to go to the United
States Military Academy at West Point, and
said, in his flowery professional way, that
the Cadets would -'load me up." I went their
and stayed two days, and his predictions
proved correct. I made no boast on my own
account. All I know about military matters
I got from the gentlemen at West Point, and
to them belongs the credit. They treated me
with courtesy from the first, but when my
mission was revealed, this mere courtesy
blossomed into warmest zeal. Everybody,
officers and all, put down their work and
turned their whole attention to giving me
military information. Every question was
promptly and exhaustively answered ; there
fore I feel proud to state that in the advice
which I am about to give you as soldiers, I
am backed up by the highest military au
thority in the land-yes, in the world, if an
American does say it--Vest Point.
To begin, gentleman, when an engagement
is meditated, it is best to feel the enemy first,
that is, it it is night, for, as one of the Cadets
explained to me, you do not need to feel him
in the day time, because you can see him
then. I never should have thought of that,
but it is true-perfectly true. In the day
time the methods of precedure are various,
but the best, it seems to me, is one which
was introduced by Gen. Grant. Gen. Grant
always sent an active young man redoubt to
reconnoitre and get the enemy's bearings. I
got this from a high officer at the post, who
told me he used to be a redoubt on General
Grant's staff, and had done it often. When
the hour for the battle has come move to the
field with celerity-fool away no time. Un
der this head I was told of a favorite maxim
of Genetal Sheridan's. Gen. Sheridan al
ways said : "'If the siege trains ain't ready,
don't wait-go by any trains that are handy;
to get there is the main thing." Niow that is
the correct idea. As you approach the field
it is better to get out and walk. Thls gives
you a better chance to dispose of your forces
judiciously for the assault. (et your artils
lery in position and throw out stragglers to
the right and left to hold your lines of con
nection against surprise. See that every
hod-carrier connected with a mortar battery
is at his post. They told me at the Point
that Napoleon despised mortar batteries and
never would use them. He Eaid that for real
efficiency he wouldn't give a hatful of brick
bats for a ton of mortar. However, that is
all he knew about it. Everything being
ready for the assault, you want to enter the
field with your baggage to the front. This
idea was invented by our renowned guest,
General Sherman. They told me that Gen.
8berman said that the trunks and baggage
make a good protection for the soldiers, but
that chiefly they attract the attention and
rivet the interest of the enemy, and this gives
you an opportunity to whirl the other end of
the column around and attack him in the
rear. I have given a good deal of study to
this tactics since I learned about it, and it ap
pears to me that it is a rattling good idea.
Never fetch on your reserve at the start.
This was Napoleon's first mistake at Water
loo. Next, he assualted with his bomb
proof and ambulances and embrasures, when
he ought to have used a heavier artillery.
Thirdly, he retired his right by ricochet-
which uncovered his pickets-when his only
possibility of success lay in doubling up his
center, flank by flank, and throwing out his
chevaux defrise by the left oblique to relieve
the skirmisha line and confuse the enemy-if
such a manmouvre would confuse the enem y,
and they told me at West Point it would. It
was about this time that the emperor had two
horses shot under him. How often you see
the remark that Gen. So-and-So at such and
such a battle had two or three horses shot
under him. Gen. Burnside and many great
European military men, as I was informed
by a high artillery officer at West Point,
have justly characterized this as a wanton
waste of projectiles. and he impressed upon
me a conversation in the tent of the Prussian
chiefs at Gravelotte, in the course of which
our honored guest-Gen. Burnside-observed
that if "you can't aim a horse so as to hit
the General with it, shoot it over him, and
you may bag something on the other side,
whereas a horse shot under a General does
no sort of damage." I agree cordially with
General Burnside, and Heavens knows I
shall rejoice to see the artillerists of this
land and of all lands cease from this wicked
andaidiotic custom. At West Point they told
me of another mistake at Waterloo, namely,
that the French were under fire from the be
ginning of the fight to the end of it-which
was plainly a most effeminate and ill-timed
attention to comfort, and a foolish division
of military strength ; for it probably took as
many men to keep up the fires as it did to do
the fighting. It would have been much bet
ter to have had a small fire in the rear, and
let the men go there by detachments and get
warm, and not try to warm the whole army
at once. All the Cadets said that an assault
along the whole line was the one thing which
could have restored Napoleon's advantage at
this juncture, and he was actually rising in
his stirrups to order it, when a suttler burst
at his side and covered him with dirt and
debris, and before he could recover Welling
ton opened a tremendous and devastating
fire upon him from a monstrous battery of
vivandieres : the star of the great captain's
glory set to rise no more. The Cadet wept
while he told me these mournful particulars.
When you leave a battle-field always leave
it in good order. Remove the wreck and
rubbish, and tidy up the place. However,
in the case of a drawn battle it is neither par
ty's business to tidy up anything. You can
leave the field looking as if the City Gov
ernment of New York had bossed the fight.
When you are traversing the enemy's coun
try, in order to destroy his supplies and crip
ple his resources, you want to take along
plenty of camp followers. The more the
better. They are a tremendously effective
arm of the service, and they inspire in the
foe the liveliest dread. A West Point profes
sor told me that the wisdom of this was rec
ognized as far back as Scripture times. He
quoted the verse. He said it was from the
new revision, and was a little different from
the way it reads in the old one. I do not
recollect the exact wording of it now, but I
remember that it wound up with something
about such and such a devastating agent be
ing as "terrible as an army with bummers."
I believe I have nothing further to add but
this: The West Pointers said a private
should preserve a respectful attitude toward
his superiors, and should seldom, or never,
proceed so far as to offer suggestions to
his general in the field. If the battle is not
being conducted to suit him, it is better for
him to resign. By the etiquette of war it
is permitted to none, below the rank of
newspaper correspondent to dictate to the
General in the field.
Foxhal's Victory.
The description of the race for the Grand
Prize of Paris, won by J. R. Keene's Amer
ican colt, Foxhall, is given by the cable as
follows: In the preliminary canter Cassi
mer and Albion appeared to go best, though
Foxhall was greatly admired. After one
false start the horses were sent on their jour
ney, Foxhall and Tristam in the lead, but
Archer pulled Tristam back and Dublin be
came second. Alternate running was then
made between Foxhall and Dublin, followed
by Fiddler and Albion, Forum and Tristam
next. Half a mile from home Foxhall led,
with Fiddler second, Dublin being beaten.
Foxhall and Fiddler were now attended by
Scobell, Tristan, and Albion. In this order
they ran to the distance, where Tristan
joined Foxhall and the pair ran a superb
race home, Foxhall winning by a head.
Four lengths separated the second and third
horses, with Fiddler fourth, Scobell fifth,
Royamount sixth, Forum seventh, Dublin
eighth, QC~aimere ninth and Leon last. Time
3:17. After the decision of the Grand Prize
all the interest seemed to die out, and the
vast crowds moved speedily to the capital.
The Grand Prize of Paris is 100,000 francs
in specie, given half by the city of Paris and
voted in the budget of 1881, and half by the
five great railway companies, for all colts and
fillies foaled in 1878, of every description and
country, added to to the sweepstakes of 1,000
francs each, 600 francs forfeit, and 500 only
if declared by midnignt on the 1st of May,
1881. The second horse receives 10,000
francs and the third 5,000 francs out of the
stakes. Weights: colts, 121 pounds; fillies,
118 pounds.
The attendance was immense. Owing to
the recent rainfall the course was in excel
lent condition. Albion and Tristam were
well supported. Long prices were obtainable
about the remainder. It may be truthfully
said that Foxhall was in front throughout the
race. It is stated that Fordham was unable
to hold Foxhall in, which accounted for his
leading the whole of the way. The finish
was the grandest scene for years, as Ford
ham on the American and Archer on the
English bred Tristam rode as if for their
lives, and the American just won by a head.
Iroquois Wins the Prince of Wales
Stakes.
LONDON, June 14.-At Ascot Lorillard's
Iroquois won the Prince of Wales Stake,
Geologist second and Great Carle third. The
race for the gold vase, two miles, was won
by Ambassadreas, Monarch second, and
Peter third. Only the three named ran.
The runners for the Prince of Wales Stakes
at Ascot were Iroquois, Geologist, Great
Carle, Maskelyne, Cullodon and Voluptuary.
Iroquois started as the favorite in betting at
five to two against him.
The Royal party, composed the Prince of
Wales,the Duke and Duchess of Connaught,
iPrince and Princess Christian, Prince and
Princess Teck, Prince Lepold, and the Duke
of Cambridge, drove to the course with the
usual state.
I.zoquois' victory appeared very popular.
There was much disappointment because
Peregrine did not again meet Iroquois. His
owner had intended to run him until this
morning, when he was found to be cough
ing.
The great race was as follows : Culloden
jumped aw.y with the lead, and made the
running at a strong pace, clear of Nessecliff,
Voluptuary and Geologist, with Great Carle
next. As they came along Swinley Bottom,
Colloden held a lead of about twenty lengths.
He was followed by Voluptuary, Nesscliff,
and Great Carle, who came on together, un
til half way up the straight, when they were
joined by Iroquois and Geologist, the former
winning a good race by half a length, before
Geologist, with Great Carle a bad third, and
Maskelyne, Nesscliff, Voluptuary and Cul
loden finishing in the order named. Archer
was again the rider of Iroquois.
Archer rode the winning horse in the Trial
Stakes race, and when the maiden plate and
gold vase were disposed there was an inter
val of an hour before the Prince of Wales
8takes race was begun. The horses were
paraded in the paddock. There was a great
rush, and there were inquiries after Iroqunois.
The popular furor seemed to be entirely with
the Americans, one gentleman remarking:
"I shall back the Americans; their luck is
dead in at present."
The Derby winner never before won the
Prince of Wales Stakes as well.
The Icrutia de Ltste.
The French Senate by a vote of 14S to 114,
has shelved the Scrutin de liste bill. The
next election for members of the Chamber
of Deputies will take place under the old law
-that is, the deputies will be chosen by dis
trict instead of on general tickets in the de
partments. M. Gambetta is committed to
the new election bill. It was his scheme for
increasing the Republican majority in the
Chamber of Deputies. Under the present
law Reactionists and fierce Radicals obtain
seats in the Chamber. Under the Scrutin de
liste bill the representation of all the anti
Republican elements would be greatly re
duced, while owing to Gambetta's control
over the Republican organizations and leader s
in different parts of France he would have it
in his power to prevent the election of many
of the Radicals who have given the Moder
ate Republic so much trouble. It will be
impossible for Gambetta not to trace in the
defeat of his pet me.aure in the Senate the
machinations of the President of the Repub
lic. The Ministry remained apparently
neutral, but that neutrality was probably
malevolent. Gambetta may begin an agita
tion against Grevy at once or may bide his
time and wait until after his elections. That
the agitation will come there can be little
question for those who have watched Gam
betta's career hitherto. He is patient, but
he is also watchfuL_ And when the proper
time for action comes he has never yet been
found wanting. And yet conceding that the
present election law has some disadvantages,
there is no doubt that under it the Chamber
of Deputies is a much fairer representation
of France as a whole than that body would
be under the Scrutin de liste bill, which M.
Gambetta desires to substitute in its place.
CCD
0 ; m
W. C. OiE
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