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MARK TWAIN ON MILITARY SCIENCE
Response to a Toast. To the regular toast, "The benefit of ju dicious training," Mr. Samuel L. Clemens, (Mark Twain,) responded as follows : "Let but the thoughtful civilian instruct the soldier in his duties, and the victory is sure. "-Martin Farquhar Tupper on the Art of War. MR. CHAIRMAN : I gladly join with my fellow townsmen in extending a hearty wel come to these illustrious Generals and war scarred soldiers of the Republic. This is a proud day for us, and, if the sincere desire of our hearts has been fulfilled, it has not been an unpleasant day for them. I am in full accord, Sir, with the sentiments of the toast, for I have always maintained with en thusiasm that the only wise and true way is for the soldier to fight the battle and the un prejudiced civilian to tell him how to do it. Yet when I was invited to respond to this toast, and furnish this advice and instruction I was almost as much embarrassed as I was gratified, for I could bring to this great ser vice but the one virtue of absence of preju dice and set opinion. Still, but one other qualification was needed, and it was only of minor importance. I mean, knowledge of the subject. Therefore I was not disheart ened, for I could acquire that, there being two weeks to spare. A General of high rank in this Army of the Potomac said two weeks was really more than I would need for the purpose. He had known people of my style who had learned enough in forty-eight hours to enable them to advise an army. Aside from the compliment, this was gratifying, because it confirmed an impression I had had before. He told me to go to the United States Military Academy at West Point, and said, in his flowery professional way, that the Cadets would -'load me up." I went their and stayed two days, and his predictions proved correct. I made no boast on my own account. All I know about military matters I got from the gentlemen at West Point, and to them belongs the credit. They treated me with courtesy from the first, but when my mission was revealed, this mere courtesy blossomed into warmest zeal. Everybody, officers and all, put down their work and turned their whole attention to giving me military information. Every question was promptly and exhaustively answered ; there fore I feel proud to state that in the advice which I am about to give you as soldiers, I am backed up by the highest military au thority in the land-yes, in the world, if an American does say it--Vest Point. To begin, gentleman, when an engagement is meditated, it is best to feel the enemy first, that is, it it is night, for, as one of the Cadets explained to me, you do not need to feel him in the day time, because you can see him then. I never should have thought of that, but it is true-perfectly true. In the day time the methods of precedure are various, but the best, it seems to me, is one which was introduced by Gen. Grant. Gen. Grant always sent an active young man redoubt to reconnoitre and get the enemy's bearings. I got this from a high officer at the post, who told me he used to be a redoubt on General Grant's staff, and had done it often. When the hour for the battle has come move to the field with celerity-fool away no time. Un der this head I was told of a favorite maxim of Genetal Sheridan's. Gen. Sheridan al ways said : "'If the siege trains ain't ready, don't wait-go by any trains that are handy; to get there is the main thing." Niow that is the correct idea. As you approach the field it is better to get out and walk. Thls gives you a better chance to dispose of your forces judiciously for the assault. (et your artils lery in position and throw out stragglers to the right and left to hold your lines of con nection against surprise. See that every hod-carrier connected with a mortar battery is at his post. They told me at the Point that Napoleon despised mortar batteries and never would use them. He Eaid that for real efficiency he wouldn't give a hatful of brick bats for a ton of mortar. However, that is all he knew about it. Everything being ready for the assault, you want to enter the field with your baggage to the front. This idea was invented by our renowned guest, General Sherman. They told me that Gen. 8berman said that the trunks and baggage make a good protection for the soldiers, but that chiefly they attract the attention and rivet the interest of the enemy, and this gives you an opportunity to whirl the other end of the column around and attack him in the rear. I have given a good deal of study to this tactics since I learned about it, and it ap pears to me that it is a rattling good idea. Never fetch on your reserve at the start. This was Napoleon's first mistake at Water loo. Next, he assualted with his bomb proof and ambulances and embrasures, when he ought to have used a heavier artillery. Thirdly, he retired his right by ricochet- which uncovered his pickets-when his only possibility of success lay in doubling up his center, flank by flank, and throwing out his chevaux defrise by the left oblique to relieve the skirmisha line and confuse the enemy-if such a manmouvre would confuse the enem y, and they told me at West Point it would. It was about this time that the emperor had two horses shot under him. How often you see the remark that Gen. So-and-So at such and such a battle had two or three horses shot under him. Gen. Burnside and many great European military men, as I was informed by a high artillery officer at West Point, have justly characterized this as a wanton waste of projectiles. and he impressed upon me a conversation in the tent of the Prussian chiefs at Gravelotte, in the course of which our honored guest-Gen. Burnside-observed that if "you can't aim a horse so as to hit the General with it, shoot it over him, and you may bag something on the other side, whereas a horse shot under a General does no sort of damage." I agree cordially with General Burnside, and Heavens knows I shall rejoice to see the artillerists of this land and of all lands cease from this wicked andaidiotic custom. At West Point they told me of another mistake at Waterloo, namely, that the French were under fire from the be ginning of the fight to the end of it-which was plainly a most effeminate and ill-timed attention to comfort, and a foolish division of military strength ; for it probably took as many men to keep up the fires as it did to do the fighting. It would have been much bet ter to have had a small fire in the rear, and let the men go there by detachments and get warm, and not try to warm the whole army at once. All the Cadets said that an assault along the whole line was the one thing which could have restored Napoleon's advantage at this juncture, and he was actually rising in his stirrups to order it, when a suttler burst at his side and covered him with dirt and debris, and before he could recover Welling ton opened a tremendous and devastating fire upon him from a monstrous battery of vivandieres : the star of the great captain's glory set to rise no more. The Cadet wept while he told me these mournful particulars. When you leave a battle-field always leave it in good order. Remove the wreck and rubbish, and tidy up the place. However, in the case of a drawn battle it is neither par ty's business to tidy up anything. You can leave the field looking as if the City Gov ernment of New York had bossed the fight. When you are traversing the enemy's coun try, in order to destroy his supplies and crip ple his resources, you want to take along plenty of camp followers. The more the better. They are a tremendously effective arm of the service, and they inspire in the foe the liveliest dread. A West Point profes sor told me that the wisdom of this was rec ognized as far back as Scripture times. He quoted the verse. He said it was from the new revision, and was a little different from the way it reads in the old one. I do not recollect the exact wording of it now, but I remember that it wound up with something about such and such a devastating agent be ing as "terrible as an army with bummers." I believe I have nothing further to add but this: The West Pointers said a private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom, or never, proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war it is permitted to none, below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the General in the field. Foxhal's Victory. The description of the race for the Grand Prize of Paris, won by J. R. Keene's Amer ican colt, Foxhall, is given by the cable as follows: In the preliminary canter Cassi mer and Albion appeared to go best, though Foxhall was greatly admired. After one false start the horses were sent on their jour ney, Foxhall and Tristam in the lead, but Archer pulled Tristam back and Dublin be came second. Alternate running was then made between Foxhall and Dublin, followed by Fiddler and Albion, Forum and Tristam next. Half a mile from home Foxhall led, with Fiddler second, Dublin being beaten. Foxhall and Fiddler were now attended by Scobell, Tristan, and Albion. In this order they ran to the distance, where Tristan joined Foxhall and the pair ran a superb race home, Foxhall winning by a head. Four lengths separated the second and third horses, with Fiddler fourth, Scobell fifth, Royamount sixth, Forum seventh, Dublin eighth, QC~aimere ninth and Leon last. Time 3:17. After the decision of the Grand Prize all the interest seemed to die out, and the vast crowds moved speedily to the capital. The Grand Prize of Paris is 100,000 francs in specie, given half by the city of Paris and voted in the budget of 1881, and half by the five great railway companies, for all colts and fillies foaled in 1878, of every description and country, added to to the sweepstakes of 1,000 francs each, 600 francs forfeit, and 500 only if declared by midnignt on the 1st of May, 1881. The second horse receives 10,000 francs and the third 5,000 francs out of the stakes. Weights: colts, 121 pounds; fillies, 118 pounds. The attendance was immense. Owing to the recent rainfall the course was in excel lent condition. Albion and Tristam were well supported. Long prices were obtainable about the remainder. It may be truthfully said that Foxhall was in front throughout the race. It is stated that Fordham was unable to hold Foxhall in, which accounted for his leading the whole of the way. The finish was the grandest scene for years, as Ford ham on the American and Archer on the English bred Tristam rode as if for their lives, and the American just won by a head. Iroquois Wins the Prince of Wales Stakes. LONDON, June 14.-At Ascot Lorillard's Iroquois won the Prince of Wales Stake, Geologist second and Great Carle third. The race for the gold vase, two miles, was won by Ambassadreas, Monarch second, and Peter third. Only the three named ran. The runners for the Prince of Wales Stakes at Ascot were Iroquois, Geologist, Great Carle, Maskelyne, Cullodon and Voluptuary. Iroquois started as the favorite in betting at five to two against him. The Royal party, composed the Prince of Wales,the Duke and Duchess of Connaught, iPrince and Princess Christian, Prince and Princess Teck, Prince Lepold, and the Duke of Cambridge, drove to the course with the usual state. I.zoquois' victory appeared very popular. There was much disappointment because Peregrine did not again meet Iroquois. His owner had intended to run him until this morning, when he was found to be cough ing. The great race was as follows : Culloden jumped aw.y with the lead, and made the running at a strong pace, clear of Nessecliff, Voluptuary and Geologist, with Great Carle next. As they came along Swinley Bottom, Colloden held a lead of about twenty lengths. He was followed by Voluptuary, Nesscliff, and Great Carle, who came on together, un til half way up the straight, when they were joined by Iroquois and Geologist, the former winning a good race by half a length, before Geologist, with Great Carle a bad third, and Maskelyne, Nesscliff, Voluptuary and Cul loden finishing in the order named. Archer was again the rider of Iroquois. Archer rode the winning horse in the Trial Stakes race, and when the maiden plate and gold vase were disposed there was an inter val of an hour before the Prince of Wales 8takes race was begun. The horses were paraded in the paddock. There was a great rush, and there were inquiries after Iroqunois. The popular furor seemed to be entirely with the Americans, one gentleman remarking: "I shall back the Americans; their luck is dead in at present." The Derby winner never before won the Prince of Wales Stakes as well. The Icrutia de Ltste. The French Senate by a vote of 14S to 114, has shelved the Scrutin de liste bill. The next election for members of the Chamber of Deputies will take place under the old law -that is, the deputies will be chosen by dis trict instead of on general tickets in the de partments. M. Gambetta is committed to the new election bill. It was his scheme for increasing the Republican majority in the Chamber of Deputies. Under the present law Reactionists and fierce Radicals obtain seats in the Chamber. Under the Scrutin de liste bill the representation of all the anti Republican elements would be greatly re duced, while owing to Gambetta's control over the Republican organizations and leader s in different parts of France he would have it in his power to prevent the election of many of the Radicals who have given the Moder ate Republic so much trouble. It will be impossible for Gambetta not to trace in the defeat of his pet me.aure in the Senate the machinations of the President of the Repub lic. The Ministry remained apparently neutral, but that neutrality was probably malevolent. Gambetta may begin an agita tion against Grevy at once or may bide his time and wait until after his elections. That the agitation will come there can be little question for those who have watched Gam betta's career hitherto. He is patient, but he is also watchfuL_ And when the proper time for action comes he has never yet been found wanting. And yet conceding that the present election law has some disadvantages, there is no doubt that under it the Chamber of Deputies is a much fairer representation of France as a whole than that body would be under the Scrutin de liste bill, which M. Gambetta desires to substitute in its place. CCD 0 ; m W. C. OiE Saws Filed and Furniture Repaired, SOREEN DOORS HD W ID S TO ORDER. Houseand Sign Painters Paper Hanging, Calcimining and Graining a Specialty. R. W, CUM INGS,' i BENTO 1, I', QSt Grinnga peiaty 1. G. BAKER, St. Louis, Mo. W. G. CONRAD, FORT BENTON. C. E. CONRAD, FORT MACLEOD. I, ,. BAKER & CO. FORT BENTON, M. T. BANKERS, FREIGHTERS, INDIAN TRADERS STEAMBOAT OWNERS, Wholesale and Retail Dealers in GENERAL MERCHANDISE, We are in receipt of a Larger Stock of Assorted Merchan dise than any other House in Montana. and offer Special Inducements to Cash Buyers. WILL PAY THE HICHEST RATES FOR ROBES AND FURS PROPIIETORS OF BAKER & CO.'S BONDED LINE, FROM EASTERN CANADA TO THE N. W. 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