The river press. [volume], July 06, 1881, Page 2, Image 2

About The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current

Image provided by: Montana Historical Society; Helena, MT

                
A STORY OF THE OLDEN TIME.
An ancient manuscript, damp and mold
(Found in the ruins of Troy, I'm told;,
Contains in its pages yellow and old
The curious tale which I now unfold.
'Tis written in language quaint, unique,
A mixture of Hebrew, Gaelic and Greek,
With a smattering here and a sprinkling there
Of Turkey Gobbler and Russian Bear,
The work of translating it was immense,
Involving unlimited care and expense,
But well and faithfully was it done,
And here, of the many strange tales is one:
About three thousand years ago
(As the date of the manuscript goes to show),
There dwelt in the village of Hoptoki
A. beautiful maiden, Miss Ososhy.
Fair she was as the radiant dawn;
Lithe and graceful as bounding fawn;
Eyes of blue and teeth like pearls,
A wealth of lovely golden curls
In fact, a paragon of girls.
Perfection was barely out of her reach,
For she'd an impediment in her speeeh
Not a stammer or stutter, but stranger still,
Her tongue ran loosely against her will.
Whatever she said, no matter when,
In fifteen minutes she'd say' it again.
As a matter of course, the afflicted maid
Wasuvery careful of what she said
And when she said it; but oie so young
And beautiful couldn't contiol her tongue
She had to chatter-all women do;
They'd perish if not permitted to.
One day her brother, a ten-year-old,
Plagued her until she began to scold.
She flew in a passion, and pulled his nose,
And tumbled him over and spanked his clothes
Right where they were widest, and all the while
She scolded away in true feminine style.
The words she uttered I can't repeat,
But they were more emphatic than sweet.
Within ten minutes her lover came,
And when the servant announced his name,
Forgetting the scene that had taken place,
She blushingly hied to his fond embrace.
On bended knee, her adorer cried:
"Oh, darling! wilt thou be my bride ?
I love thee madly; for thee I'd die,
My beautiful, peerless Ososhy !"
Alas for the lover who humbly sue 1!
Alas for the maiden he thusly wooed !
The fitteen minutes had come at last,
And the maiden shrieked like a thunder-blast:
"You wall-eyed leper from Amsterdam!
You mule-eyed fraud ! you kiln-dried ham t
Git off'n that floor, or I'll bust your brow
Wiili a kick like a mule-git up right now !"''
With amazement depicted on his face,
The youth arose in remarkable haste,
And said, in tones of deep regret:
-'Had Heaven been kind, we ne'er had met!
To judge of your language to me, 'tis clear
You belong to another and warmer sphere.
I thought you l ved me. Alas! how mad
To yearn for a heart that is wholly bad."
"I love thee!" the maided cried, and then
The fateful spell was on her again.
-'Waltz out of this ranch!" she wildly whooped,
'-Before your hide is eternally scooped!
I'm a Gatling gun! I'm a house afire !
I'm worse than a bundle of red-hot wire !
I'il climb your back like a whippoorwill,
And chaw yen up like a rolling mill !
You hear me chirrup! Git out, I say !"
And then the maiden fainted away.
The following morn the youth was found,
A suicide, on the gory ground;
And when the maiden heard it, she sighed,
Then wept, then pined away and d'e'.
There are plenty of womhn whose tongues run wild,
Especially when they're a trifle "riled."
If you can't speak pleasant:y, pray keep still
And if Heaven don t bless you, your neighbors will.
FEMININE BRIEFS.
Very little jewelery is worn with white toi
lets.
All sleeves are half short and all gloves
very long.
Red abounds in summer dresses, hats and
bonnets.
Bright yellow silk mits are worn with toi
lets of black.
The obleisk hat has a tall, tapering crown
and a wide brim.
Ombre satin sashes accompany many of
the imported evening costumes.
The wearing of a frill of lace around the
edge of the brim of hats and bonnets is re
vived.
Fancy bracelets and necklaces and pins
mounted with insects and odd designs, are
Smuch worn.
The large Anne of Austria collars, covered
with fine embroidery, are worn over dresses
of white linen lawn.
The best press ever made-two loving
arms. And it is a press that is never left out
on account of other matter.
Pale rose, blue'and cream-white seaside
zephyr cloths will be again used for inex
pensive garden party dresses.
Ribbon fiots or long looped bows, next to
cords and tassels, are the favorite decoration
of coaching and race-course toilets.
Very handsome grenadine toilets are im
ported combined with satin sublime, and
trimmed with rich steel beaded fringes and
appliques.
Chair stripes, sofa pillows, mantle lambre
quins and tidies of blue satin, worked in
bright colors in silk and wool, suit any kind
of furniture.
The wide-spreading Bernhardt ties of In
dia mull have been discarded by the ultra
fashionable people who so lately appeared
behind them.
"Will the coming man use both hands ?" is
a question asked by a scientific exchange.
We do not see how the coming man can use
both hands unless the coming woman drives
tie horse.
Pretty and easy fancy work for summer
afternoons is that done on linen doylies, or
linen or momie cloth strips and squares, in
outline designs, stitched with bright red or
black varicolored silks.
Ladies who possess the lace sacques of
thread or lama, at present so completely out
of style, are making them over in to pretty
Stuart colars,l pointed fichus and antiqie
Sshoulder capes now in gogue.
She was decorating her room with pictures:
and she perched his photo up on the topmost
nail; then sat down to admire her work, and
remarked quietly: "Now everything is J:ove
ly and the goore hangs high!" : i
An eccentric fashion is to put white and
black ostrich plumes' on opposite. sides of
the brim of a black chip hati,: separated by a
bow of white satin over white Spanish: lace
while the brim is lined withwhitewsatin and
white SLpanish lace frilled in and held down
with arow ofa-ge cut jet~beads.':.:·: : -
A husband living in one of the suburbs of
New York brought home one afternoon three
red wagons and a rocking horse for the chil
dren. His wife welcomed him with delight,
kist ed him, and putt'ng her face confidingly
to his, whispered, "Darling, you have been
flirting on the trains a long while. Now that
the gir's have seen you with the horse and
wagons they know that you are a married
man !" Smiling lovingly upon her, he re
plied, "I bought a ticket to the strawberry
festival of old Mr. Jones, the Sunday school
superintendent, and be brought them along
in the train with him."
American as well as European ladies are
scintillating in a perfect armor of jets and
beads. Whole cuirass bodices, tabliers,
skirts, panels, dolmans, shoulder capes, bon
nets and slippers, are covered with beaded
embroidery. Elegant costumes of black are
sparkling like "coats of mail" with a dense
covering of jet and steel, and delicate toilets
of white brocade, satin and tulle, are embel
lished with marvellous designs wrought in
beads of pearl, gold, silver, crystal and
other beads resembling costly gems. Tab
liers, panels, and portions of the corsage are
each worked with a special design composed
to suit the particular shape, though uniform
on the whole.
Why mourn for Grimes? His daughters live,
On Fashion's streets we we find them ;
And still they wear old Grimes' coat
All buttoned down behind them.
----------.m-i.-·1--.QP ------L
Love at First light.
A rare case of love at first sight occurred
at the office of the Hamburg line of new
steamers in New York a short time since. A
handsome man named Pfeiffer, who had
lived in Peeria, Illinois, for a year past, had
become homesick, and was at the office to
buy a ticket for a return to her father, who
cultivated a small farm in Germany. John
Koehler, a farmer in New Jersey, was pres
ent, the couple eyed each other, were infat
uated, introduced themselves, and in the
course of twenty-four hours were united in
the bonds of matrimony, The contemplat
ed steamship passage was given up and the
fond pair returned. The words are correct
except that the couple were not married un
til their arrival in New York. After their
sudden infatuation at the steamship office and
the subsequent avowment of mutual love, Mr.
Koheler asked the girl to accompany him to
his home. She trusted him so implicitly that
she readily assented. They embarked on the
evening boat for New York, and on arrival
proceeded at once to the young man's pleas
ant home in Greenville, a mile from Nor
wich, Conn. Last monday the German Lu
theran minister was called, and in the pres
ence of a few friends the couple were wed
ded. There were no cards and no presents.
The couple have gone to housekeeping. It
was throughout a genuine case of love at first
sight. A happier couple cannot be found in
Norwich.
Sarah's New Home.
Here is a description of Sarah Berhardt's
new villa being built with the money she
made in America. At Sainte Adresse, a
pretty little seaside suburb of Havre, work
men are busily engaged in completing the
summer house of Mlle. Sara. It is larger in
size than are the general run of those edi
fices, and it stands on a lofty elevation. It
is a picturesque building of the chalet style,
and has a most superb view of the ocean on
oneside and of the surrounding country on
the other. The site is said to be the most
beautiful one at Sainte Adresse. The deco
ration of the exterior is very elaborate, a row
of frescoes just over the overhanging eaves
alternating with gigantic monograms of 8.
B. in blue and white, that looked as though
they were painted on plaques of porcelain, as
well as one could judge at such a distance.
The frescoes are in color and represent the
arts. Lower down the walls are niches, in
which are placed a series of draped female
figures representing the muses. There is a
combination of painting and monograms and
statues that make up a whole that is highly
effective, yet which is more theatrical than
artistic. The grounds were in sad disorder,
and the porter's lodge was far from being
complete, but when all is finished the place
will be a lovely one, the charm of the situa
tion and the view being simply indescribable.
The Queen of Spain used to own a villa very
near to that of Sarah, and it is said she spent
mints of money on the interior decoration
and on the furuiture, but she got tired of it
at last and sold it furniture and all for the
trifling sum of $10,000.
A Sleeping Tree.
A tree was recently brought from Austra
lia to Nevada, which has been in the habit at
night of going to roost like the chickens.
The leaves fold together, and the ends of the
tender twigs coil themselves up like the tail
of a well-conditioned pig. After one of the
twigs has been stroked or handled, the leaves
move uneasily and are in a sort of mild com
motion for a minute or more. Indignant at
having been transplanted the other day, it
had hardly been placed in its new quarters
before the leaves began to stand up like the
hair on the tail of an angry cat, and soon the
whole plant was in a quiver. It gave out a
most pungent odor, which filled the house
and was so sickening that it was found ne
cessary to open the doors Lnd windows. It
was fully an hour before the plant calmed
down and folded its leaves in peace. It
would probably not have given up the fight
even then, had it not been that its time for
going to roost had arrived. The whole
household how stand in awe of that plant.
IHow it was Setiled.
When the Erie Railroad went 'no further
than Turner's 8tation, fifty miles from New
York, the engineer on that and other roads
was in the habit of running the train accord.
ing to his own judgment, the conductor be
ing counted out altogether- Ayres, the con
ductor of the Erie :train, consisting of en-,
gine, freight cars and passenger cars in the
rear, did not fancy this fashion, and determ
:ined to try a new plan. He ran a stout line
from the passenger car and fiastened to it a
log of wood, :and told the engineer to stop
the train when he raised the stick. The en.
gineer, on starting, cut the stick loose. Thien
next day the caiptain rigged up his string and
stick of wood again. "Abe, said he, "this
thing's gotto be setit ed one. way ~s another:
to-day. If that stick of wood is not on the
end of this cord when we get to Turner's,
you've got to lick'me or I'll lick you." The
stick was not on the string when the train
reached Turner's. The captain pulled off
his coat and told the engineer to get off his
engine. Hammil declined to do so. Capt.
Ayres jumped to the engineer's place. Ham
mil started to jump off on the opposite side.
The conductor hit him under the ear and
saved him the trouble of jumping. That
settled forever the question of authority on
railroad trains, and was the origin of the
bell-rope on railroads.
A Remote Possiblllty.
If worst comes to worst in Ireland, and
the soldiers are ordered to fire on the people
-that is, to kill them--it would not be sur
prising to see something like mutiny in the
ranks. It is by no means impossible that
there might occur in Ireland what has hap
pened in France-a fraternization of the
troops with the peoph; scenes like the mem
orable one at Montmartre in Paris, where the
troops, being ordered to fire on the people,
refused, stuck their muikets, with bayonets
down, into the ground, and opened their
arms to embrace'bhe men whom they had
been ordered to slay. It is true that there
are very few Irishmen among the 30,000 of
Her Majesty's troops now in Ireland. Care
has been taken to send thither only English
or Scotch regiments. But the ranks of these
regiments are filled with the sons of peas
ants, small farmers and day laborers, and
they are at heart really in sympathy with the
Irish farmers and tenants. The English
soldier, who is far better educated now than
he was a generation ago, feels that the Irish
tenant farmer is contending for the same
rights in principle that his own father or his
brother at home-is striving for; and while
the instinct of discipline is still strong, the
habit of blind obedience to orders may not
be able to withstand the appeal of sympathy
and common interest.
- I
0O O
W, C. JONES,
g
T BENTON - - ONTANA.
Souse and Sign Painters
Both members of the frm being workmen of ten
Paper Hangig, Calcimining and
Graining a Specialty.
LEON P. ROCRON, Prop'tor.
r BUILDINGSTONE FURNISHE,
O I no
the largest sh the East and is preiPared
to e satisfaction.
w ~-g~y·U
I. G. BAKER, St. Lours, Mo. W. G. CONRAD, 'FOT BENTON.
C. E. CONRAD, FORT MACLEOD.
1. G6. BAKER & CO.
FORT BENTON, M. T.
BANKERS, FREIGHTERS, INDIAN TRADERS
STEAMBOAT OWNERS,
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
We are in receipt of a Larger Stock of Assorted Merchan
dise than any other House in Montana. and offer
Special Inducements to Cash Buyers.
WILL PAY THE HICHEST RATES FOR ROBES AND FURS
PROPR IETORS OF
BAKER & CO.'S BONDED LINE,
FROM EASTERN CANADA TO THE N. W. TERRITORY.
Will Contract Freight from all Eastern Cities in Canada and the United
State3 to all points in Montana and the Northwest,
WILL INSURE COODS via MISSOURI RIVER.
Eastern Office, No. 219 Olive St1, St. Louis, Moe.
1881 ESTABLISHED 1872' (.i
L. . ROSENCRANS,
:MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN:
SA DL H, RAHE$SS
SADDLERY - HARDWARE.
B~lack Snake Whips, Ilobblvs,
California Lashes, - [altters,
Curry Combs, Riding Bridles,
H-orse Brusbes, Side Saddles,
MIexlcan Spurs, H orse Blan~kets,
Block Stirrups, Surcingles,
Sltpper Stirrups, HPorse Collars,
Iron Bound Stirrups Harness Soap,
Plaited Bridle Reins, Feed Bags,
Picket Swivels, TWhip Stalks,
Gl-ves and Mittens, Tents,
Harness Oil, Cinches,
NIills, Leak & Co.'s G1oves anl Iittens1
Cor. Front and Bond Sts., - Fort Benton, Montana.
THE BEST WAGON
ON WHEELS
MANUFACTURED BY
RACINE, WIS.
We manufacture every variety of
Farm, Freight and
Spring Wagons.
And by confining ourselves stlictly to one class of work; by employing nonebut the
BEST OF WORKMEN;
Using nothing but
First-Class Improved Machinery, and the Very
Bestof Selected Timber;
S And by a THOROUG:iKNOWLEDGE of the business, We have justly earned the
Sreputation of making
"THE BEST WACON ON WHEELS!"
Manufd~raciturer have abolished the warranty, but Ag;nts may, on their own responsibility, give the following
warranty with each wagon, if so agreed:
We Heweby WarnteISHte gBROS. WAGON lNo.....to be well made in every particular and of
good tel and tatthe$xtt h of thep same is sufficient for all iork with fair usage. Should any break
age occur withe one year from this date by reason of defective material or workmanship, repairs for the
same wil beftarnlse4 e of sale, free of charge, or the price os said repairs, as per agent's price list,
will be paid in cash bytht rchaser producing a sample of the broken or defective parts as evidence.
Knowing that we an suiti you, we solicit patronage from all parts of the United States. Send for prices and
terms, arind a copy of Tirt -RA~oie AcuRTunRI.s, to Plish Bros. & Co., Racine,; Wis..
Racine,Wis., January , ,1881.