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Jiark Iwantu and Ille Pilgrtiua FaIhers.
Mark Twain, at ;he celebration of the New England Society the other day, saie: "I thank you cordially for these kind and well-deserved compliments paid me, and I shall ever 8trive to deserve them. But let us uome down to business. I now appear be fore you as a protestor. I have kept still fo: years and years-anybody knows that; but I want to ask: "What do you want to celebrate your ancestors? I admit that they were a hart loit. I refer more particularly to the Mayfl!ºwer gang. My friend on the left here say s that yu are nt celebrating the Pilgrim Fathers, but their landing at Plymouth Rock. I thouý,ht the first pretext was thin, but this one is thiner. The first one was gauz , tin foil, tissue, but this one is gold leaf. What was there about the landing of the Pilgrims ? T hey had been three or four months at se ; they were all played out and nearly starveti; it was feartul cold and they were nearly fri z n. Why shouldn't they land ? If they h tdn't lauded there would have been some reatoun for a celebration. Now you try to niLtke out that this simple proceeding was of enough importance to be celebrated with orgies like this. Why, a horse would have kuown enJough to land ! Therefore this fes tival is an inconsistency, and it shows what an irascible, intraciable tribe the New Ea glandlers are. They never agree on anything but Boston. Thoe ancestors of yours must have been a mighty hard lot, for there is LO a man in this loom who will admit that he i, better than his tather or his grandfather. Such of you as have not been in the Peniten tiar'--if such there be-are all better than were your fathers. You may talk about your ancestry as you please, but as for me I am a b ,lter rutii:, a Missourian by birth, with Connecticut asi my adopted State. I have the morals of Missouri and the culture of Con nectic:ut, and that's the combination that makes the perfect man. Where is my an cesttir, the good Indian ? Your ancestors skinned him him alive, and 1 am an orphan. Not a drop of my blood runs in his veins to d ,y, but I don't object to that. They skinned him alive. At ! that's be thought that rank les. lie was a s n-itve Indian and his em b trassment before the world must have been ve y great. It he had bien a bird he wou..d have been considered dressed. • As a man he was one of the most undressed men I ever saw. Later on your ancestors persecuted another ancestor of mine, the Qntaker. Your ancestors di l,'t want any interference wi.h the freedlmtn of worship in their own peculiar way. The first African brought into New EnglaneI as a slave was an ancestor of mine. I am of min ,mrcl origin. Now, listen to me. Why do you wish to p:,rpetu tte these socie ties ? I want you to stop rigtit here and dis bad. Begin by sellu, Piymmuth Rock at aut: ion. In the great wealth of rocks in New E Igland this particular rock would bring per.hps thirty-five cents. If you don't sell it throw it open to the patent medicine m sIn. Di soumething to mike a start. On this table I see water and mink and even the deadlly leiu,,nade. You are on the down ward path. It a few years you will surely reach cider. Pause while it is not too late. But still 1 have as high an opinion of yoea nt, your sace try as I can unlder the circum stances. My grandftLttier used to say tht it w,,uld be hrd ti improve on the good old Pi.n Utut stck--uuless the person were botn in Missouri. Bolaibardinllg a l ousiaiiin, Heroic meatsures had to be adopted a fort igiht ago, to remove the danger of aunihila tion vtihicti conslan ly threatened the dwiss villings ol E in Te hamlet lies at the foot of an overIIungUnug mountain, a large slice of wlich tbeC trne detacuted last summer, and, obeying the laws of gravity, overwhelmed everythi g h,,-low it in ruin. It seemed al tge~tlter pr,)bable that another fragment of the mountaln wouldt some day follow suit, and it was accordingly determined to detach it and hurl it into the valley In another direc tton while t could be done without misk to lite. ''he people of Elm, accoidingly, took themselves out of all possible harm's way, unl hundreds of tourists thronged the neigh bothoud, bent on seeing the sight. The plan adopted was simply a bombardment wit1 ',.,uon. Tue first day or two snow storms nt fogp-hmndered the firing. Several large rocks were loosened and fell with a crash, but the efforts to tislodge the whole mountain top were unav iling. Sui'sequent ly the weather cleared, and the cannonade went on with more prospectof ultimate sue, cees. the enijees believing that the em pIlyment of heavy artillery would at length bring n~own the toppling crags. The pros. prct tor saving the rest of the village was at last accounts excellent. oIluaubce as 1 Its. The south wind is Sighebig srdftly amonf the sturdy oaks, whose leafy branches bhieid from .a ~atiuese rays of a July sun ther~el vety-soft I-,wn that stretchbe away to thIit eastward in front of a lovely Du P~ e OOimty villa. On the veranda tands a gtirl, lovely beyond compare, to whom a man.-oOU wuhose sunny ls antl 9 e itd w nany gi4 hue tell plainly of the $aSon -cblood tt fti ws in his veias-It tsatisq Ir s(r eQPIeB& mI-ner. There is a luovingP ook in his so blue eyes, aod he speaks witI a tender er. ee tness that hbuws he is (BJa* to go thtber. The girl is tapPIg!l*titty ~ w Lt mallet the preLtt!y 4f*s timlidly from bseietbh 1th gpati ~ --'-*· dress of s)ft, blue cloth, with two rows of ruffi es up the back-stretch, and a polonaise that nevei costs less than $22. `"Well, Bertraee, have you concluded to I shake me ?" says the man. The sunbeams flicker erratically down be tween the leaves, making little lights and shades on the veranda; the grasshoppers sing [ among the red clovers; the little foot, which has suspended its movements during the de livery of this interrogatory, resumes its oc cupation. Adelbert's gaze is still fastened upon the pretty face that looks slyly down, but the smile has fled. No answer comes. A moment longer and the foot-taps cease; one or two irresolute movements of the body. and then the white arms, gleaming out from the loose sleeves, are around his neck, and the brown locks and golden beard are mingled, while the little head goes down on his shoulder amid a storm of sobs. Sue h .s hit her bunion. An ExJundge Reepinng an Apple It . The -Greenback party is a power, so the Greenback orat rs say at least, and ye-t one of the most prominent of the local Green backers, one of their best orators, Judge Maddox by name, has failed to get the reco6 nitio ) he claimed. He got something, how ever, and to this extent possibly he did better than some of the other orators of that party will do. I don't know exactly how much it c')4nition he claimed and probably never %% ill know, but I know he has got the right and tie privilege to open an apple stand near the main door of tVe House, in the h d1 lead Si g to the gallery. He opened up basiness bright and early Monday morning, his stock consisting of about two pecks of very nice lo.)king apples. The spectacle of the Ju:ige in a dress suit of black cloth, high chok-r collar and wearing a fhshionable beaver tile sitting behind his stock of apples and news. papers was not exactly what many who heardi his eloquence during the late campaign would hardly expect to witness. And yet I the Judge looked happy and smiled pleas antly. ,, Aptimrlum.u. Responsibility educates. Prosperity makes few real friends. r Devotion is the last love of woman. I Gold is the sovereign of sovereigns. Death is a panacea for all evils. The breaking of a heart leaves no scar. r Fortune does not change men ; it unmseks J them. We are never so happy or unhappy as we fancy. " Jealousy is the homage that inferiority pays to merit. Grief couuts the seconds; happiness for 1 gets the hours. Better a man with paradoxes than a man Swith prejudices. Women are too imaginative and sensitive to have much logic. Revenge at first, though sweet, bitter ere - long back on itself recoils. r Of all the riches that we hug, of all the pleasures that we enjoy, we can carry no, more out of this world than out of a dream. The rodu to success is not to be run upon by seven-leagued boots. Step by step, little Sby little, bit by bit-that is the way to wis Sdom, wealth and glory, We are not only pleased but turned by a feather. The history of a man is a calender of straws. If the nose of Cleopatra had - been shorter, said Pascal, in his brilliant way, Antony might have kept the world. We are never without a pilot. When we t know not how to steer, anpdldare not boist a Ssail, we drift. The current knows the way, though we do not. The ship of Heaven guidga itself, and will not accept a wooden rudder. Why eNo seunicuaen Ga o IoeaTve. Long years ago, in times so remote that history does not fix the epoch, a dreadful war was waged by the King of Scotland. Scottish valor prevailed, and the King of Scotland, elated by his success, sent for his Prime Minister, Lord Alexander. " Well, andy," said he, "is there ne'er a king we canna conquer noo ?" "An', it please your Majesty, I ken o' a king that your Majesty canna vanquish." "An' who is he, Sandy ?" Lord Alexander, reverently looling up, said, "the king o' Heaven." "The king o' whaur, Brsdj ?". "Tne king o' Heaven.': The Scpttlsh kin did not understand, but was unwilhng to exhibit any ignorance. "Just gang your ways, )andy, and tell the king o' .Hesvens to gie up ..s. dominions or I'll come mysel' and ding hlm' him oot o' them, and mind, Sandy, ye dians come back to us until ye hap dune our biddia ." SLord ilexander ret.4r much perplered, but met a priest, and,- resu~ed, returned and presented bipaol,; . . "Well, dandy," said the king, "hae ye en th klug A 'g IU*ve,, ud, what says he -to oor biddla' ?' "Au' it plisea ye .jetyptI hae seen bpet i "Wa . ul **Stthe b m a +,+m:: ' e ..... t+ . . heammai stt. Nets~uit yea M RS. Li NCO!,N, A Hypoanmdrlaie ais so Hlellth antl a Ho. eananuaase ous the &ubjo-ec of MIoney. [Springfield Journal.] The report oriutetl in a Ndw York piper a few days ago of an all,-ged interview with Dr. Sayre, the att ndiing physician of Mis Abrah,,m Lincoln, while in that city, n ,t on ly justifies the Journal in breaking the si lence which, from motives of sympathy and respect for the feelings of the relatives and friends of the martyred President, it has so long maintained on this suj'ci:, but makes it a duty to do so. For some time past the physical and percuniary condition of Mrs. Lincoln have been made the sutbj:ct of fre quent.reports of a highly sensational char acter, but having scarcely any foundation in fact. The Jou nal has uniformily refrained from noticing these s orie~. even for the pur pose of correction, for the rea-on alluded to. Dr. Sayre, who appears to have b-en an early acquaintance of Mrs. Lincol ,, at Lex ington, Ky., and now to be given her medi cil treatment in New York, is said to have represented to a reporter of the New York 7imes-ostensibly on the authority of Mrs. Lincoln herself-that she is in a st te o: virtual poverty, being without me-.ns to se cure the medical altendance and the aid of ourse%, of which she greatly stands iin need, nothwi, hstaudihg the pensuion of $3,000 per annum granted her by Congress. This h.s followed by rcharges ro fl cling upon Mrs. Lincoln's triends for iimplied neglect, and especially has it been intimrtted that this is to be made the ground for an atiack upon Sec retary Lincoln, whose removal fr,,m the De partmneut of War is to be d.mnuded uader certain condit ions. The whole business is a mo-t painful one, but justice to Secretary Lincoln and other friends of Mrs. Lincoln demand that the truth should now be told. 'Ihe fact is, that while Mrs. Lincoln is undoubtedly physically and mentally ill, she is a bypocnri c as to her health and a monomanlac an the subject of money. It was the latter peculi arity which, some ten years ago, induced h r to offer her war Irobe for sale in New Yor k, to the chagrin and mortification of hler friends. +ach movemeut for the purpose of honoring some distinguished citiz -n by rais ing a fund for his or her benefit has been the occasion for a new acces.ion of her un fortunate maladly. This was the case a year or so ago when the movement was on foot to raise a fund of $250,000 tor General Grant, and there has been a revival of the feeling within the past few weeks in cou nection with a like movement for the benefit of the family of the late President Gartield. During these periods she has complained of neglect and lack of Nati oreal appreciatimn, and even threatened to go to Waseington and make her appeal to Congress for addi tional pensi ,n. Those most intimately acquainted with Mrs. Lincoln's percuniary ffdirs say that, in addition to her pension otf $3 01)0 a year from the government, she is in the enjoy ment of an annual incomei of some $2,000 to $2.500 interest from invertmtenns in Gov ornment bornds, originally mrtlde f)r her by Jutdge Davis, administrato r of Presldent's Lincoln's estate-making a total of 'over $5,000 a year A'ter her return from Ew laud she was, for several years, an inmate of of the family of her sis er, in this city, where her every want was supplied withl the utmost patience, and every whim Decessary for her comfort gratified. During this period her personal expenses were reduced to a mioi mum rate, and there was a considerable in cieese of her capital. As site has no one to support hut herself, it is to absurd to, say that she is in a state of suffering and wa i on $5,000 a year. While we would hot throw a straw in the way of securing an ii creased allowance from the Government, if Congress should see proper to grant it, hter dependence ij, to-day, proportimnately larger than that of Mrs. Garfield, with fie childron and the aged mother of her husband to sup port. We have spoken thus at length in justice to relatives of Mrs. L., who have are grossy wronged by the reports which have gone forth on this subjiect through the press ac companied by Insinuations of absolute and willful neglect. The case is a sad one, but it is so thro ih the unfortunate mental hal lucination of the principal subject of it ra ther than from any shortcomings of Mrs. Lincoln's friends. LESTER'S CLUTB ROOMS ALain ~treet, Fort Be7nton. Wines, Liquors &a Cigars Al in full lines, and served in the very best .tvl. 3OTIl4E Or FlINAL EN TfY. 1,4pC Osmos w BJNa&. MaouTrAA, Lzceraibr iii, 1881. Notice is hereby glvnp thathe ltxgu ett er has Sleds mde oat bohnttic to maie Itl l s in su his cla01, 34 tm.$ ssad Pi@t will ma te Reglter and Rictve al Helen, Mon , o stards), Jsriuify 18th, 1882, via: Jaeus m e an w·.. . · I.r 1881. 1882. 0 Falland Winter Goods The Largest and Most Extensive Clothing House in Montana. -0 Having studied the wants of our patrons in Choteau and the adjoining counties, we have, with much care, selected the Largest, Finest and Best Assorted Stock of 4i 1ý OF EV i.eY DE CRIPlI iON, FOR MEN, BOYS and Ch.riDREN. -0 - Otr Purnishing Goods Department contains all the Latest Designs bnd Patterns of White and Fancy Dress Shirts, Coll-ars and Cuffs, Siik and Liaen Hand r kerchiefs, Saspenders, Underwear, Hosiery, I tc. Hats and Caps Boots and Shoes Of all the Leadin NStyles. Of Every Description. r ------------------------------------ IRubber Goods, Blankets, Quilts, Lined and -U'nlined Duck Goods. - O Sit eg to r d er Wr e are also agents for the celebrated house of DEVLIN & CO., New York. Measures for wuits taken. Fit Gu'aranteed. 1,000 samples to select from. GANS & KLEIN, G Fort Benton, M. T. Front St., necar Benton (Murphy. Neel & Co.'s old stand). f LOREY & MEINHARDT r IGRAINERS PAPER o AND HANGERS Landscape, Oranmental. Fresc ,. House, Si'n Ranuer and scene Paintingtof every description. Orders solicited from every P,.nt of the Territory, and we insure the untmoat care and dispatch in allorders t hrough the m'is. A 1 work g* rfrantPe Fir t elasa in every particular, at prl es to suit the times. r Office in Zeigler's Wew Brick Block, SHELENA, Mont. THE BEST WAGON ON WH'IEELS MANUFACTURED BY RACINE, WIS. We manufacture every variety of Farm, Freight and Spring Wagons. I And by conining onraelve strictly to oneclass of work;: 1 employing nonebut the BEST OF WORKMEN; Using nothing but First-Class Improved Machinery, and the Very Best of 8elected Timber; ~a by a THOROUGH KNOWLEGE of the bainss, We have justly esetd the reptation ,f making "TtHa BEST WAGON ON WHEEL8 I" Ka afactuara hase abollahed the *aagaty. bet Alg itnasy, on their own repemubllty, gire the following warranty with eac wagon, It soaga: a. a , the f81 I WGO No..w..to be weln made to W.1ierty an ofa ghedi~·%n~tto an h sfoV ka ll work with1 fair 4 any Irlj4