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FLOATING FANOIES. ..
The lovely maiden now is sick at heart, She languishes in misery and pain; No burst of music m kes her spirits start, On every pleasure looks she with didain, Because the air of summer gay doth smack, And its too hot for her to wear her Christmas seal skin sacque. A modest man feels his superiority; a proud man makes others feel it. Men often judge the person but not the cause, which ic not justice, but malice. What we charitably forgive will be recom pensed as well as what we charitably give. Women are not cruel by nature. We nev er heard of one thoughtless enough to step on a mouse. Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. This is the service of a~friend. There are a great many excellent stoves in the market; but there is no base burner like mother's slipper. If yu should have what you really de serve-no more, no less-would you be as happy as you are now ? The oldest inhabitant is generally a man; not because he is given to lying, but because he commenced owning up to his age sooner. A Sunday school teacher in Albion NT , asked her class the question, "What aid Simon say ?" "Thumbs up !" said a little girl. Douglas Jerrold said savagely. "Truth is like gold; people manage to make a little of it go a long way." I have even known per sons who get along without any. In summer the musquito, The petulant mosquito, Around you comes a-buzzing, And makes you sad appear; But in the windy wint r It is the airy snowball That sklms along the highway And takes you on the ear. An Illinois girl found that she must either give up her lover or her gum, and after one day spent in reflection she pressed his hand good-by and said she would always be a sis ter to him. A Newark Sunday school urchin's illustra tion of responsibility: "Boys has two but tons for their 'spenders so's:to keep their pants up. When one button comes off, why there's a good deal of responsibility on the other button." During a dearth of news in a Western news paper office, the office cat was jammed in the job press, and the editor immediately set up the following head-lines: DREADFUL ACClDENT ! NINE LIVEs LosT ! In general pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes. All the other passibes do occasiondl good, but wherever pride pute in its word everything goes wrong, and what may be desirable to do quietly and innocent ly, it is morally dangerous to do proudly. An exchange has an article headed, "Get 1 Hold of a Boy's Heart." That will do well enough if it is a girl you are advising, but we had rather get hold of a boy's collar with one hand and his pistol pocket with the other. You can reason with a boy more that way. "Ambitious boy:" How is a good way to t start a circus? Why, you just get a girl to e write a love letter addressed to your father, ( and put it in the old man's pocket, where i your ma'll find it, and there'll be circus z enough to make happy the neighbors for two miles around. t The Boston Commercial Bulletin tell it this way: He slipped quietly in at the door, but, catching sight of an inquiring face over the stair rail, said: "Sorry, so late, my dear; couldn't get a car before." "So the cars were full, too," said the lady; and further re marks were unnecessary. Thou art all the world to me, my love, my o n, ' My golden-haired, my starry-eyed, my pride [ More blest than monarch seated on his throne Am I, my love, when tho.u art by my side. The loving glaances of thy soulful eyes, a The smiles that ripple on thy ruby lips- t On whose red petals sweeter honey lies Than that the busy bee from roses eip Assure me that thy he art is mine alone; No other in that bosom holds a place. K That thou art mine. my love, my very own, Those blushes tell that crimson thy sweet face. But can we, if we mairy, my dear love, Can we, I ask the; Oh, my darling, speakt Can w., my sweetest one, my lovey dove, Pay board for two on seven dollars a week T The Louisville Courier-Journal has dis covered in its city a smoking club composed of "youdg women who crack the loudest whips on the chariot of society." The girls buy the very fliest and most delicately flay ored cigars and smoke by tjvos and threes in secret sessions at each other's houses. A gentleman somewhat advanced in life, t and who was never remarkable for his good t looks, asked his grandchiid what he thought of him. The boy's parents were present. The youngster made no reply. "Well, why don't you tell me what you think of me ?" "'Oause I don't Want to get licked," was the answer. A man with a silver-plated, double bcek actionscoin holder came inato the Sanicten the other day, atnd coniiiimnbed ekplalpin the 'beauties of the article or holdiog silveri j halveseetc., and bhe had gotten half through , beforehbe4found he wada n a priistlng-oidlitee.. iWhen ~ saw hit mistake, ihe w~ir to the a dor, atly opeta1d it, and kickted ~si. clear dows stairs., , i"nthe leew York State Supremae p ! Jndge Donoh fell .faOetious, sad was ban- 11 dying words with members of the bar. A j remark made by one of them had a little i sting, and the Judge said: "Look out, coun selor, or I will commit you for contempt of court." "I plead guilty, your Honor," was the quick response. A painfully intense si lence brooded over the court. Who put the salt in the Sugar bowl ? Mamma is anxious to find out. Willie is busy looking out of the window. Can you guess what he is thinking about ? Perhaps he is wondering what Mamma will give him before he goes to bed without his supper. If we were Willie we would feel safer with a Latin Grammer in the seat of our pants. It is -elated of another infant inquirer who was looking with great interest at a foaming pan of milk, that he suddenly exclaimed: "Mamma, where do cows get the milk from ?" "Where do you get your tears ?" After a thoughtful silence, in which the men tion of tears had evidently recalled certain associations, he again broke out: "Mamma do the cows have to be spanked ?" Last week, at Los Angelos, a married wo man eloped with her coachman, in conse quence of which her husband shot himself. The next day his daughter, who was also in love with the coachman, went insane, while the servant girl, who was, in turn, gone on defunct husband, tried to drown herself three times. We shall get out an extra as soon as we learn of the course taken by the house dog in ' pe matter. "W tt did you do with that letter that was, . my table!" asked Gus Smith of the colored boy who cleans up his room. "I tuck it to de postoffice, sah, and put it in de hole." "What did you do that for? Did you not see that there was no address on the envolope ?" I saw der was no writin' on de 'velope, but I lowed yer did that ar on pur pose, so I couldn't tell who yer was a writin' to. I'se an edicated negro, I is." At her window she is pitting, Little busy, bright coquette; She is sitting, knitting, knitting, Ever at a subtle net. Weaving it in laughter, blushes,: And delicious nods and smiles, Tones as soft as notes of thrushes. Aid a thousand nameless wiles. Take you care, bewitching neighbor, Take you care you do not get, At the end of all your labor, Tangled in your subt.e net! Mistakes of Life. Somebody has condensed the mistakes of life and arrived at the conclusion that there are fourteen of them. Most people would say, if they told the truth, that there was no limit to the mistakes of life; that they were like the drops in the ocean or the sands of the shore in number, but it is well to be ac curate. Here, then, are fourteen great mis takes: "It is a great mistake to set up our own standard of right and wrong and judge people accordingly; to measure the en joyment of others by our own; to expect uniformity of opinion in this world; to look for judgment and experience in youth; to en deavor to mould all dispositions alike; not to yield to immaterial trifles; to look for per fection in our own actions; to worry our selves and others with what cannot be reme died; not to alleviate all that needs allevia tion as far as lies in our power; not to make allowances for the infirmities of others; to consider everything impossible that we can not perform; to believe only what our finite minds can grasp; to expect to be able to un derstand everything. The greatest of mis- 2 takes is to live only for time, when any mo- - ment may launch us into eternity." Mark Twainl as a School Trustee. Old Bill Nye, of Nevada-everybody has heard of him-appointed Sam Clemens and me school committeemen for our district. I Well, we had a few Piute young ones and one or two white ones, enough to make a nu cleus, as Sam baid, so we hired a female teacher. She was considerable on morals, and I suspect that Sam had intimated that this branch of their training, should not be neglected. It was a pretty barren soil to sow ideas on, but the ttacher was as cute as they o make 'em, and she was bound to please and perhaps to astonish the committeemen. So she goes to work and stands them up like a lot of sticks and practices moral instruction upon them. She always ranged them in ex actly the same order, and, like young colts, the youngsters soon learned to know which was their particular stall or standing-post. .For boy No.1 she alwayshad one question "Who made you ?" Of course there was but one answer, and that was "God." This was the alpha and omega of that boy's moral ac quirements, so to speak. Well, boy No. 2 wasn't any brighter, and so he had his ques tion and answer drilled into him. "Who was the strongest man ?" was the question, and amson was the answer. Boy No. 8 was the son of a Plate squaw and a white man. He c was dull, and his ideas were terribly diffcult to cultivate. So Isuppose that was the rea. son the schoolmarm sesigned him to say that Jobt was the most patienat man. Well, OUk came down one day to see how thibgaPsw ere pregressir;g at school. The teacher stood her three particular pupils up ,n row od the side of the log cabian, and Inti mathtg that thecommitteeman could pull out slowly on tbhe cateoblism and moral instruc-· tien ianvited him to eteam abead. Boy No. 1, mesentime, had e pamliained of faintness, a feelng oas douVAtInsired by Satn's awfult pr..pacemnd the teacher excused-hbim with ishieot uaenasinion st Bathe go ont'In the ad. joining ten-acre lot and lie down in the grass until he recovered. To boy No. 2 Sam now addressed himself :with the leading question, "Sonny, who made you ?" "Samson, sir," was the ready reply. The teacher blushed, and even Sam was taken aback. "Well, my boy, you can tell me who made you ?" said Sam to boy No. 3. "Yes, sir; Job." "Why, there must be some little mistake here," ej.( - ulated bam in an undertone. Then back to boy No. 2 he went with, "Are you sure, my little man, that Samson made you ?" "Oh, yes, sir, because he was a very strong man." Then to boy No. 3 he put the question, "Are you quite certain Job made you ?" "O'h, yes," piped the Piute cherub, "because Joo was a very patient man." "Why, you little rascals, don't you know God made you ?" "No, sir," replied the little Piute, greatly alarmed; "the boy God made is out in the ten-acre lot kicking up his heels and havin' a bully time." This ended Sam's efforts at catechising and almost completely broke him as a school committeeman. News and Novelty Depot STATIONERY AND BLANK BOOKS, MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, PICTURE FRAMES AND CHROMOS, FINE CANDIES AND NUTS IMPORTED & DOMESTIC CIGARS, BIRD CAGES, PERAMBULATORS, TOY WAGONS, TOY CARTS AND GIGS, A Fine Stock of Wall Paper, MEERSCHAUM GOODS, FINE WOOD AND BRIER PIPES, CHOICE SMOKING TOBACCOS CHOICE CHEWING TOBACCOS, VELVET CARD, PHOTO AND CABI NET FRAMES AND EABELS, In Great Assortment. CRANE & GREEN, Front Streew, Bet.Bond and Benton. FORT BENTON ART GALLERY The undereigned would respectfully inform the citi zens of Benton and vicinity that he has fitted up rooms on the Corner Main and Power St., And is now prepared to do the very best of work in his line. ODt Door Scenes and Buildins A specialty. Work done at Helena rates, and guar anteed to be equal to any in the Territory. 2-2 JUSTUS FEY. JOHNi H. GAMBLE, Front Street, a few doors above postoflic. PROPRIETOR OF THE STAR BAKERY Fort Benton, Montana. CONFECTIONARY CAKES AND PASTRY, Of all kiuds always on hand. We make a specialty of turning out the BEST BREAD Iv BENT )N, and customers can always rely upon getting Fresh Bread at all times.. OR Estsb FOR Wedlli[ Caies anl Pastry fooes Will always receive prompt attention. OYSTERS, AND ALL KINDS OF FRUITS In Season. S GooA Delivered Poemptly. MEAT MARKET!. Main Street. Car and see me at mynw new iarkef, next to Baker & DeLorimer's store. I am now better prepared than ever to supply the public with Beef, Mutton, Pak, Fish,. And every article in my line the msrkel affords. A full supply of VEGETABLES Always Oa hand. JON KJ; KENNEDY. FORT BENTON, KONTANA, Wholesale and Retail Grocer AND DBALER IN Dry Goods, Clothing, Boots and Shoes, Furs and Peltries. WINES, LIQUORS AND clGARS. Our Grocery Department Embraces a Full Stock of Fancy and Staple Articles. FISH BRO'S, FREIGHT AND FARM WAGONS, McCormick Reapers and Mowers, Taylor's Hay Rakes, and a full line of Farming Implements. CUTLERY, CROCKERY AND GLASSWARE. We have in store one of the best selected Stocks ever imported into the Territory, and the trading puplic will find it to their advantage to get our prices before buying elsewhere. STORAGE AND COMMISSION. Corner of Front and Bond Sts., Fort Benton. A CARD TO THE PUBLIa. o We wish to announce to the people of Benton, and to the general public, that our stock o Winter Goods is now complete. We extend a cordial invitation to all to call and examine our Stock and Prices. We carry the largest stock of GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS, HATS, CAPT, BOOTS, SHOES, Trunks, Valises, Rubber and Gum Boots. Rubber Clothing, Arctic Shoes, Monitors, Snow Excluders, Lined Gloves and Lined Mittens of all kinds, German Socks, Shoe and Boot Packs, Wool Boots, Etc., in Benton, and make it a special point to sell cheaper than any other House in the trade in Monitana. A full line of Chinchilla, Beaver, Casimere, Worsted, California Blanket and Buffalo OVERCOATS AND ULSTERS, ing opened. We have marked them low down. They must be all sold out by the let of January. Our Wholesale Department is Always Complete. '"Strictly Honest Treatment and One Price for All," is our motto. Orders by mail ore press will be carefully filled without delay. HIRSHBERG & NATHAN, Front St., Fort Benton, M. T. BAKER & DeLORIMIER, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS lN Dry Goods & Notions MAIN STREET, BENTON. We call particular attention to our SHOE STOCK, which is the most complete in town. We are now showing an elegant line of. CAPETS RUGS I MIATS HSSOCKS & L CLOTH, *ouitlba and TAmbrequln. In Lace, JUte, and Raw Silk. Excelslor, Royal, St. Johns an4 Respehold iIWING MACRlIlE: Dommestic Paper Patterns. Stamping to Order. Eequare. takea for the Celerg.4 Wihion Bro's. Shirts. -ORDERS CAREFUUY FLILY LII.ED.