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The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, November 15, 1882, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85053157/1882-11-15/ed-1/seq-6/

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FLOATING FANCIES.
A county editor being asked, "Do hogs
pay?" says a great many do not. They
take the paper several years, and then
have the postmaster send it back "Re
fused."
The economical editor informs his con
tributors that they must write "only on
one side of the sheet." By this means
he acqulires an unfailing supply of copy
paper for his own use.
A'n attorney, on being called to ac
count for having acted unprofessionally
in taking less than the usual fees from
his client, pleaded that he had taken all
the man had. He was thereupon hon
orably acquitted.
"Why didn't you deliver that mes
sage as I gave it to you?" asked a
gentleman of his stupid servant. "I did
the best I could, boss." "You did the
best you could, didn't you?" imitating
his voice and look. "You did the best
you could. If I had known that I was
sending a donkey, [ would have gone
myself.".
A good story is told of Ben Butler's
sarcastic retort upon a Massachusetts
judge, whom he was teasing for a ruting
favorable to a cause he was defending in
court. The judge get out of patience at
last and somewhat testily, exclaimed:
"Mr. Butler, what do you think I sit
here for?" Ben quietly shrugged his
shoulders, and replied: "''The Court has
got mle now."
"Why do women so often wander
aimles.ly in the murky solitudes of the
dead past, brooding over days forever
gone?" asked a young lady of a marry
ing widower. "They don't, I think,"
he said. "'ILather they wander, especi
ally at this season, in the dry goods
stores of the present, often pricing arti
cles which they have not the remotest
idea of purchat:ing."
"I ain't got enough sense ter vote at a
ward election," r',marked old Isom yes
terday. "WI'y!i" asked a bystander.
"'Yer see, a nigger what keeps a bacon
store at de udder end ob town give fifty
cents premium on a silver dollar made
last year. I tuk a dollar wid de correck
date, an' going to de store handed it ter
him, an' told him ter gin me de premium
and he looked at de dolla, handed me
fifty cents, an' drapped it in the draw'r.
I tuk de fifty cents an' come on up
town. I hay jist diskivered I'se out
fifty cents. I repeats that dat I ain't
got sense enough ter vote, an' de New
nited States can hab my freedom back
at any time de secretary ob war will no
tify me ob dat fack."
- ~ Y-~ ~g~,I.
How Western Cities Grow.
4
PLiladelphia News: A western man
has been telling some Philadelphians
how Western cities grow. He says he
went ofi into the mountains hunting,
and night coining on, he went to sleep
in a tree to be out of reach of tbe wolves.
He was awakened ea'tly the next morn
ing by some workmen, who told him to
get down and finish his nap on the court
house steps, as they wanted to turn that
tree into a flag-pole for the hotel across
the way. He got down, and while rub
bing his eyes, was nearly run over by a
street car, and got his feet tangled in an
electric light wire.
The Grandear of Woman.
When you want to get the grandest
idea of a queen, you do not think of.
Catherine of Russia, or of Anne of En
gland, or of Maria Theresa of Germany;
but when you want to get your grandest
idea of a queen, you think of the plain
woman who.sat opposite your father at
:the table, or walked with him arm in
arm down life's pathway; sometimes to
the thanksgiving banquet, sometimes to
the grave, but always together-sooth
ing your petty griefs, correcting your
childish waywardness, joining in your
infantile sports, listening to your even
ing prayers, toiling for you with needle
or at the spinning-wheel, and on cold
nights wrapping.you up snug and warm.
And then, at laat, on that day when she
lay in that back .room dying, and you
saw her take those thin hands with
which she toiled for you so long, and
put them together in a dying prayer
that commended :you to God -whom she
had taught you to trust--Oh! he was
the queen! The chariots of (4od cane
down to fetch her; and as she went in,
all heaven rose up. Yo u cannot think
of her now without a rush of tenderqess
that otirst'he deep foundations of your
soul, .and you feel as muchi a child a!
when you cried opi her lap; and iff you
could bring her back again to speak
once more your name as tenderly -asshe
used to speak it, you would be willing
to throw yourself on thM ground and kiss
the sod that covers her, crying: "Moth
er, mother!" Ah! she was the queen.
Now can you tell me how many thous-.
and miles a'woman like that would have
to travel down before she got to the bal
lot-box? Compared with this work of
iraning kings and queens for God and
*ternUq, bow l i i1cast seem ,is.
{ ~ ? ,
this work of voting for alderman and
common councilmen, and sheriffs and
constables, and mayors and presidents!
To inake one such grand woman as I
have described, how mahy thousands
would you want of those people who go
in the round of fashion and dissipation,
distorting their bodies until in their
monstrosities they seem to outdo the
dromedary and hippopotamus! going as
far toward disgraceful apparel as they
go, so as not to be arrested by the police
-their behavior a sorrow to the good
and a caricature to the vicious, and an
insult to that God who made them wo
men and not gorgeous; and tramping, on
down through a frivolous and dissipated
life, to temporal and eternal damnation.
Hanged by Vigilantes.
Ogden Pilot: Sunday night two des
peradoes, known as Johnson and "Tex"
who had been loafing around American
Falls, on Snake river, during the sum
mer, and had incurred. the enmity of
the law-abiding cstizens, were waited
upon and given until 8 o'clock to leave.
Suspicion rested upon them of having
murdered the Chinaman who was found
dead in his cabin Sunday morning.
They responded to the citizens' demand
to leave by saying that they would. not,
that there was not men enough at Amer
ican Falls to make them leave, and
thereupon began to shoot into the crowd.
The citizens then procured guns and re
tui'ned the fire, and the desperadoes fled
acrossithe Snake river, threatening to
return and clean eut the town. Return
ing they met the night watceman, who
told them that- they would be hauged.
Then they fired three shots at him with
out cffect. He returned the fire with
his revolver, and wounded Johnson
three t;mes-once in the arm, once in
the body and once in the hand. "Tex"
then ran up and tried to kill the watch
man, who, having used up his ammuni
tion, grappledS with and threw him
down. At this juncture the citizens ar
rived. They hanged them and the
bodies were cut down three hours after
ward and buried by the citizens.
Coal Experiments.
Among other interesting items gath
ered by the Oakes party on their western
trip was one relating to coal. An exam
ination of tbh coal at the Bozeman mines
proved it to be a very superior true bi
tuminous coal and not lignite. On the
report made by General Manager Haupt,
Vice Presidonj Oakes immediately is
sued orders for the building of a branch
road four miles long, commencing at a
point near Benson's Landing to the
mines. The, coal can be mined above
water level, with a working face nearly
1,000 feet in depth, and it will furnish
several million tones, sufficient to sup
ply the road many years: In time this
supply by quantity and quality may
make the road independent of Eastern
coal. The experiments with artificial
fuel from lignite by drying and com
pressing have resulted satisfactorily. Not
enough has yet been made to test the
fuel on a large scale, with engines., but
it will be done in the course of three or
four months.
I e nmmmm -nu-. • m mmramM m mmu
National Bank
Of. Helena.
This bank succeeds the old established and well
known Banking House or L. I. . ershfleld &
Bro.
Authorized Capital, $500,000
Paid in Capital, - $150,000
President-L. H. HERSHFIELD.
Vice-President-A. J. DAVIDSON.
Cashier-AARON HERSHFIELD.
Board of Directors:
S. 8I.EiNTLEY, W. D. NICHOL~S,
A. ,AND , MO8ES MORRIS,
THO iAS CRT'SE, : D. DH. WESTON.
CHAB LFHMAN, L. . HEISRSFIELD,
A. J, DAVIDSON, A. HER.HFIBLD.
Exaclange on the commercial centers of the
Unijed 2tates and Europe bought and sold.
.U i1~ and all ~uiefi ertrusted to us re
ce' prbmmt apid t thorcqgh attention.
Deveolts rece ved ani inteioit allowed on the
same it left for a specifled time.
Bugqal mand eis~er . ~on.~gek dxnt, ores;, $e
ritoria ,tyan Qyvernment ,suritise and war
Assoelat Banrk:
~ank of Northern Montana,
F St't entet 1) `T.i
.MA NN'S tANCH,
pigea on the Barker road. Splendid accommodations,
sood oms, a we.ll toced .a., and everyattention
give to
a'kI·~ ~Sfjrr ,- 6~ae~ 4$ e
iHARNESS SHOP
Benton. B.a T.
Cheyenne Goods, Chaps, Sad
dles, Spurs, Etc., Etc.,
A Specialty.
1Repairing done lower than at any
other place in the city.
L. H. ROSEN CRANS,
Corner Front amd Bond streets, Benton.
PIONEER
STAI'l NE RY HOUSE
CRANE & CREEN.
We keep a full line of Blank Books and
Stationery. A fine line of Books
always in stock, and more
.en route.
CIGARS,
Imported and Domestic, of the most popular brands.
We keep the finest
SMOKING AND CHEWIN.6 ThBACCO.
An endless variety of Fancy Goods,
Toys and Notions, Sheet Music,
Musical Instruments, Chro
mos and Picture
Frames,
Pocket Cutlery, Combs, Etc.
JEWELRY AT COST TO CLOSE OUT.
Call and examine our Wall Paper
and prices.
CRANE & GREE'N.
IRemember, opposite the New Hotel.
PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM.
The Best, Cleanest and
most Economical Hair
1Dressing.
liver Falls to Restore
the youthful color to grey
hair. 5oc and $z sizesat
cdruggists.
Floreston Cologne.
A new and exceedingly fra.
1 i. 3 grant and la -ting perfume.
.rice ^5 and eiSc.
PARKER'S
GINGER.TONIC
A Pure Family Medicine that Never Intoxicates.
If you are a mechanic or farmer, worn out with
overwork. or a mother run down by family orhouse
hold duties try PARKcEu'S GINGEr T'oNc.
If you are a lawyer. minister or business man ex
hausted Ly mental strain or anxious cares do not
take intoxicating stimulants, but use PARKER'S
GGINGER T'oNIC.
If you have Dyspepsia, Rheumatism, Kidney or
Urinary Complaints, or if you are troubled with any
disorder ofthe lungs. stomrncii bowels, blood ornerves
you can be cured by PAIRK.e s GINGE.R TONIC.
If you are wasting away from age, dissipation or
any disease or weakness and I enife a stimulant take
GioNGR TONIC at once; it wti invigorate and build
you up from the first dose but will never intoxicate.
It has saved hundreds of lives it way save youts.
HISCOX & CO., IC3 WRi;iiar St_ New ;'ork. 5Gc. and
one doilar sizes, at nll d-aieri in med.ciew .
GREAT SAVING Pi YINiG DOLLAR SIZE.
Cross The River
AT THE
Benton Ferry
Upper Crossing.
Our boat has been put in first-class order and
we are prepared to cross the travel
ing;public without delay
D'A.Y OR NIGHT:.
The-lrossi g of heav~ freight team and loste stock
a suealty, the boat being supplied with railings and
gate-emand fully adapted for any kind of ork..
. c. C.row~'& o.o
RIENICKE IHOUSE,
m iEg Riv Lea n gs,
This rouse eIs situated on the ieleina and Benton
road, ]ust a nice day's strive from Benton, mawi:S It
the most convenient stopplpg place on the road. It
ts kept in AItrt-cl;. syle,- &nd Jtha the very bestac.
commoiatione `or tnvlers on the velsi
On the.arker 3oad1
dats f or~P~ anaa ad b
ý *k 0~b~t~.'·."-··
Ale W,_
CALL· ANID SEE US
" I" /ar~//
a a iii~8
AT OUR NEWT STORE,
4-42I
GANN KLEIN9
FORT' BEN TON.
DAVIDSON & MOFFITT,
Manufacturers and Dealers in
HA IN ESB,, SALE,
Sadd!iry 1Hardware, Etc., Etc.
WOOL SACKS, TWINE, SHEEP SHEABS, TENTS, ETC.
---- ,
Agent for Hill's
CONCORD BUGGY AND TEABI HARNESS.
-o
Cash Paid for Hider,, Purs, Peltries, Wool, Ec., Etc. R'pairing
SNeatly at Promptly Done.
JOSEPH SULLIVAN,
Harness and Saddle]
MANUFACTURER,
Front Street, Benton. Mont.
eep a full line of. Saddlery Hardware, Collars, Whips,' Blankets and Coronas.
Saddle Trees of every description, including the celebrated IRON FORK
and LIVE OAK TREES. Particular attention paid to the
manufacture of
TEXAS, COLORADO, CHEYENNE AND IONTANA STYLE STOCK SADDLES,
Also all grades of Harness, from the Lightest to the Heaviest, suitable for Stock
men, Ranchmen, Freighters and others.
No Machine Stitched Work in the Stock I
Ladies' Saddles' always on hand. Highest Cash Price paid for Hides, Furs, Wool
and Peltries. Prompt attention paid to orders by mail and
satisfaction guaranteed.
<FINE FURNITURE.
F. C. ROOSEVELT & CO.,
Have opened on the Corner of Main and Bond sts..
with af l u i' e of Furniture. Finest Turkey Sets,
ordinary upholstered sets, in silks, velvets, reps,
and hair cloth. Walnut cane bottom sets. Bed
.io`. ets. A!l. .t e. ,a psa. k Cheaper then
Kw - A

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