Milk River Valley news. [volume], December 27, 1905, Image 6

About Milk River Valley news. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1904-1908

Image provided by: Montana Historical Society; Helena, MT

                
MILK RIVERJIALLEY REWJ
HARLEM, MONT.
Nowe Pub. Co., F. N. Wild, Manage
Imagination doth make cowards or
ns all.
Rather than cobless corn, Luther
Burbank should discover a painless
one.
Some men are born obscure, some
prefer obscurity, and some funnily hind
In the Hall of Fame.
“Graft” is the full dress name for
Tvhat we call “bribery” and “theft”
when it is in shirt sleeves.
'Wouldn't It be terrible If some of
those Russian grand dukes should have
to go to work for a living? Horrible
ovltsky!-
A woman In Connedh i un-
der her bed for ten long years before
she found a man there. Ami then she
had him arrested
One of the astronomers positively
declares that there are no canals on
Mars. If he is right Mars must be
a poor place for commissioners.
Hall Caine says the rich people of
this country have a perverted sense of
morality. Hall must have a suspicion
that our rich people have been reading
Marie Corelli’s books.
One hundred Indian Territory towns
fire candidates? for county seat honors,
frills WIU precipitate more trouble than
all the Indians have caused since the
days of William Fenn.
After reading the evidence brought
Out by the New York Investigators, the
burglars and confidence men in jail
must sadly acknowledge that they
didn’t know their business.
Charles Dana Gibson is going to
Europe “to study art.” There are a
Jot of other American artists with
much less of Gibson’s genius, but with
much more of the swelled head
It has been decided that the build
ing of the Tana ma canal is not a piece
of diplomacy, but a tug of war; hence
Secretary Taft will not be permitted
to unload It upon Secretary Kool.
The expenses of the Equitable for
the third quarter of 1905 were $829,913
lower than for the corresponding quar
ter in 1004. Looks as if Paul Morton
really might be earning that salary.
John D. Rock feller has written an
article for the London Mail in which
he says: “My advice to young men
Is, ‘Do not be discouraged.’ ” That’s
alt right as far as it goes, but what
advice has he to offer to the poor,
broken-down bld men Who arc over
85?
New terrors have been added to the
keeping of a diary. A Brooklyn mag
istrate, before whom an incorrigible
boy was taken for punishment, sen
tenced the youth to keep a diary for
two weeks. He was ordered to record
all his doings, a : well as tin- fact that
he got up in the morning, dressed Idm
pelf and washed bls face. If the boy
nerved out this sentence to tin- satis
faction of the magistrate n severer
punishment would not be Inflicted.
Thore are two kinds of submarine
warships. .Since tue war witli Japan
Russia has had the largest licet of one
kind of submarines. I'ntH tile naval
defeat of Russia Spain had the unique
dlsUtudion of owning a big fleet of sta
tionary submarines, The Spanish mln
ister of marine now' thinks that' the
time has come when his country
should have some warships that will
float on the surfm-e of the sea. lie
lias propose ! that eighty sly tjiillion
dollars be spent next year in restoring
the navy. Last Ji ar the marine budget
•was less than seven million dollars.
The propose I Increase |s enough to pay
for ten modern battleship-
Saving human lives is not a very re
munerative I ask. A young man who
ba s saved - ii :. - hu in । n I lie. re . -nt'v
Conllded to a Nov. York reporter that
only one out. of tin lot ever offered him
nny reward. 'Hie one exception was a
Wealthy citizen of Xew Jersey who,
after caret Hi h • m. dir . the value of
the life sax? I. gave Ills psi-nw 50
cents. A pi - i i . -nt resident of a'lamg
Island Sound city recent^ saved a
Woman from drowning at a picnic, and
every woman present tried to reward
the brave man with a kiss; nothing
more substantial In tin way of ac
knowledgment being thought no es
•ary. Other c,i<ch are on record where
tile rescued even forgot to say "tliank
you." At tills rate the rescue bus -
Bess will soon be a lost art. and tho-■ •
who set out to drown win not be in
terfered with, it might be well for
those who go In swimming to leave
word, in case a r- cue becomes neces
sary, whether they will pay n kiss, 50
<enb, or a “tlmnk you" to be saved,
yin*rescuer, who Invariably risks his
©w^llfe to save anyone who Is drown
ing, could then govern himself n ■'ord
ingly. ,
The decorative wide ot homejunking
la the one oftencst entrusted to the
daughter of the family Sho may dust
a »oom, arrange a vase of Howers,
ecmcoct a salad, an lee -cream or a
daß, or embroider a centerpiece. Such
*ccompllßhmentH are anxiously ac
quired In the vacations, or in the scant
hours of the working day which may
be unatched h >:u NivJl barks. Mother
and daughter have an uneasy sense
that something ought U be done to fit
the girl for her probable duties as
wife and mother, and fancy house
keeping Is the tribute they pay to the
demand of conscience for an edur.ition
outside of text-book and laboratory. In
the strange, Inevitable unrolling of lif".
the gay schoolgirl may be •:>' “d on In
a few months to be cock, seamstr*
laundress, general lioiisckcepi r, cac >
In turn, perhaps all at oner. But there
is no magic by which she may acquire
these arts. She must, then, eboo ••
among them—with such wisdom as she
may. Fancy housekeeping Is of less
importance to the embryo home-maker
than any other branch of her profes
sion. The ordinary experience or the
sudden emergency of the future is far
more likely to call for a well-broiled '
beefsteak than for an icecream; for a
fire In the range rather than for an
artistic arrangement of roses; for a
strohg buttonhole rather than for an
embroidered dolly. Neither the dalu-'
tJegAil'tbf cqohliw selipul Jior
oratlve arts of the housekeeper are the
best investment for the scant leisure ;
of tin* schoolgirl. The cooking of a
chop, the supremo achievement of boil
ing a potato so that it shall be mealy,
am! the ordering of a morning so that ।
the dinner-getting shall not infringe on |
the bed ; making—theAe are the labors ;
In which the daughter may well ae- ;
quire skill. When the demand for It
comes, the fancy housekeeping will
take care of Itself.
People who have seen football
played as It should be played will not
admit that this highly interesting game
deserves all the odium” under which it
suffers at RTgsent. At Its best it de
velops strength, courage, agility and
resouroeftfim^s ^as perhaps no other
sport does, and this without any great
menace to life and limb. Everyone
who has watched the practice of teams
and their contests through several sea
sons when there was no “profession
alism” among the trainers and the
trained and no employment of slugging
as an art will Indorse this Judgment.
Accidents, of course, were always pos
sible and so was roughness. But very
few accidents occurred that were at
ail serious to a strong, healthy boy,
and the roughness was due to the ex
citement of~ the moment and
checked as soon as it appeared. How
ever, lovers of the game are put sorely
on the defensive now. While they
might like to dwell upon its good
points the public reads alxmt players
who have had their legs and ribs
broken or who have even lost their
lives on the football field as it might
read about brutal crimes. The chron
icles of the press dispatches are open
to all and actually reach the largest
possible circle. There is besides milch
discussion of the game in magazines
which reveals repellent features that
are of quite recent origin. Mingled
with the young gentlemen who make it
an incident of their college life are
others for whom Uktc bfla U££Q £919
petition among the colleger. They
are appraised as football players only,
and with them the college Is the in i
dent. The coaching degenerates at
times into Btraightout professionalism
and the play Is disgraced by a calcu
lating brutality worthy of a gang of
thugs. Upon such an indisputable as
sertion of facts it Is perfectly clear
that there must be a radical reform in
the stylo of the game to save it from
an almost universal condemnation ami
to justify its rontinuanee. Su-h a
conference as that Which was held
with I’resldent Roosevelt and such
comment ns has come from colh go
presidents emphasize the need of -i
really effective change. And this Is by
no meajis an unattainable' thing. Why
should the slugging and the profession
allsm over have been tolerate I ? Why
cannot college authorities c impel mod-
Uicatious in many respects that will
give true spfirt Instelul of thuggery':
The game can certainly be made right
If those who have the power will In
sist on the necessary conditions.
Snnutor’N Story.
Senator Proctor, of Vermont, is-an
tliority- for this story: (Ine day the
Senator and some friends boarded n
train for Montreal, and had been seat
ed but a few minutes when three fa
nadlan government otllchils entered
and took seats directly opposite. One
of'lhe t'miadians, who was noted for
his strong anti-American ideas, evi
deptly recognized the Senator, for In
begun a tirade of Abuse of the t'nlted
Sta^s, which, though directed to one
of his party, was intended for the Sen
ator's ears.
Presently an Italian peddler entered
the car, bearing in his arms a large
papier mache lion.
"There." burst forth the Oanadian,
pointing to the lion„“ls the symbol of
tho greatest country on earth. See the
majestic poise of the bead, seo the tri
umphant gleam in the eyes. Ob
servo—”
At this juncture the Canadian's es
fusion was interrupted by the brake
man. who snipped Into the car, and.
pointing at the Italian, said: "Hero,
you. get that tiling Into the baggage
enr. This Is not a hog train."
Hln Way of Shuwlnic 111* Loir.
"You wrong him, papa. He docs
not love mo for my money. He scoffs
at tho world’s sordid eagerness foi;
wealth." '
"What proof have you, child?"
"Why, only last night he told me be
didn't care If be never was able to
make a penny In bis life If he only had
me!"
His Fatal Mistake.
"Adam wuz bls own boss, wuzn't
ho?"
f "Yea; an' es he hadn't gone ter sleep
lit do wrong time lin'd 'a' .been so ylt”
, —Atlanta Constitution
XleßitorialsH!
L— — ———-
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
Drifting With the Ice.
1 i I: BEAT many people drift through life wlth
mt aim or purpose or effort. They float along
the Um? of least resistance, avoiding all obsta-
I—M‘h s and shrinking from anything that looks
Jke hard work. Their great desire is to get
’an easy Job.” They do not concern them
selves at all as to whether or not there Is any
prospect of advancement in it, whether it offers any oppor
tunity for self development or not, or whether it is a
. stumbling-block instead of £ stepping-stone to their future
1 welfare. They have neither plan, mor program, nor ambi
(lon to guide them. They simply live for to-day, and, liter
ally. “take in- thought for th-'
’ This Gappy go lueity policy Sin Tend to bht dne thing—
I failure. Thousands who have adopted it have drifted, in
old ago, to begging in the streets, to dependence on grudg
ing relatives, or tb the almshouse. Many of these unfortu
nates. if they had taken stock of themselves in youth, or
had taken the trouble to find out their success possibilities
' and had planned their lives along coqimon-sense, manly
' lines, might have contributed largely to the service of man-
I kind and attained honor and prosperity in their chosen
I callings.
Oliver Wendell Holmes says that it does not matter so
much where one stands as the direction in which be is
moving. If you are working according to an intelligent
plan: if you are trying to make everything you do a means
of advancement to the goal you have in view; if your groat
ambition is, not to make yourself famous, or rich, or hap
py, but. to make your life mean something in God’s world,
go ahead, for you are moving in the right direction and
Will remitytmr gom Bin ii JOT USolHng for an easy
place, or running away from hard work; if you are too list
less, or indifferent, or careless to take stock of yourself, to
decide upon the path you wish to take, to look carefully
ahead, but hot too far ahead, or to make out an intelligent
plan of action and follow it’as nearly as you can, no mat
ter where you stand, you are not moving in the right
direction.—Success.
Those Defective Country Schools.
■’b T "°hld seem that a large number of city pro
(SUl ▼ I lessors are spending time needlessly in devis
- । B Bing naans to elevate the country or district
schools. Not that the district schools do not
need improvement, but when repeated experi
J cnees come to light in every day life where
some green country boy has come into the city
and made a product of the city schools look like a handful
of small change. It would seem that the country schools are
not wholly void of good results.
“Beware of the man of one book,” is an obi adage and
herein is a thought that instructors often overlook in try
ing to cram the thought and culture of forty centuries into
a 1 I year-old student. Indeed, one of the strongest objec
' tions to the highly developed school systems of to-day Is
1 the endeavor to learn everything instead of learning a few
। fundamental things well. Two many studies, just as too
much reading, dissipate the mind, and prevent the develop
ment of the reasoning faculties. The übility to reason cor
; rectly is of far more consequence to the- high school grad
uate than to know what kind of fossils may be found in
Egypt or what Alexander said after he had whipped every
body in sight.
Of course it may be said that the County bo£ ••••m-H to
the city to complete bls education, but bis habits of rea
Boning, of studying one thing well until he has mastered it,
-t* -t-i—i-’i—t’-:—:—l—t«i”t—y-h-y-t—:-.;--|.d.
A A MUSICAL SHERLOCK HOLMES. *
!-!••!-1—I—1-dS-1-1—Z*
W. L. Tomlins, tin* veteran choral di
rectyr. sometimes surprises his pupils
by analyses of their voices made af
ter the inductive method. Recently,
while he way visiting at a country
house, an instance occurred which led
his hostess to call him ‘ the musical
Sherlock Holmes.”
A young woman had sung two sim
ple ballads, to the enjoyment of the
party—and of Mr. Tomlins. When
she had finished he said:
‘‘Let me see. When you were about
12 yearn old you went to school in a
room with about forty other pupils.
You were fond of singing, and especial
ly of part singing. Your teacher was
also fond of part songs. Though you
preferred to sing soprano, your voice
was so low that you eouhl carry the
alto. There were not more than three
others in the room who could jtlso
sing alto, and none oj them sang as
w<UI as you. Still, thohgh t^ero were
so few of you, you ; tn.: with ih ©
enthusiasm and love for singing that
it Was always a delight to you and
your teacher, and with your aid the al
tos could be heard in suffb-iont stuuigth
to balance th<* sopranos. You always
had part songs at the
and you led the altos in them.”
“Goodness'.” exclaimed the young
woman. “However'did you find that
out? That is exactly what happened
al! through the year 1 was in the sev
enth grade and part of the eighth, at
Glencoe. But who told you?”
“Your voire told me.” replied Mr.
Tomlins. “I heard all that while you
sang. ‘Your higher voice is your nat
ural voice, but you have a strong low
er voice also. The two are of very
differentt quality. The lower voice has
the exuberance, the buoyant strength
that comes most easily to a child,
singing without any conventional re
straining of emotion—a voice that is
used to expressing all of you—your
self.
“Your natural voice Is mon* re
strained. it has been trained, but Its
effects uro studied ami not ho natural.
It Is not so strong as the other, and
has been trained since you grew old
eridugb to guard conventionally against
expressing all you feel. With time
and a knowledge of how school chil
dren sing the reasoning was easy.”
DUPLICATING APPARATUS.
Copic* of Waybill*, Etc. Mutfe in u
Hundy Manner.
The modern, up-la date business
man always has his bills made out In
a; ' ‘.o c’tim 3 hi ulp icate.
has become so established with him that ho succeeds letter
than the city boy V ho has all along been distracted with so
many studies that they are an undigested mass of facta
which no mind of tender age could be expected to assim
ilate. Of course there are a number of things ihat the city
teacher can do and is doing to establish more*harmonious
relations diet ween the district and the city schools, but
there Is no occasion for anyopc to lay awake nights trying
to save the country school pupil from oblivion. What
should give them more concern is to assist the country
school as not to crush the life out of it by loading on a
lot of worthless stuff that most’ boys of ord inpry Intelli-
L Dick up without effort, and other studies that should
be taken up In maturer years.—Toledo Rbidef
1
Save Old Ironsides.
ENTIMENT or the scrap heap? Whic^Ashall
it be? Has the American public forgotten “Old
Ironsides?” Or does the public grudge the
—money for “mere sentiment?” These are the
’lu^tions presented by she news that the his
torlc ship Constitution, now lying in Boston
harbor, must be repaired or broken up for old
lumber. It is almost a hundred years since the Constitu
tion, the pioneer of the frigate class, with her fifty-five
24-pounder guns, and her crew of 4f>3 men and boys, sailed
without orders from the harbor where she now lies to en
gage the redoubtable British Guerrierre. Perhaps no one
remembers the 19th of August, 1812, when the “terror of
the world” was reduced in forty minutes to a helpless
mastless hulk, rolling in the trough of the sea, and the
pride of Britain was hiimbhsl.
It would take about $250,000 to restore the old Consti
tution. For that Hum she could be fitted with masts, sails
and guns and made entirely seaworthy. In this shape she
would serve as-a naval museum, and a permanent memo
rial to her own valiant services, and of the brilliant chap
ter in American history in which she was so conspicuous
a figure. And that is what ought to be done.
Our statutes provide for the sale or destruction of ves
sels which are no longer worth repairing. There is no
official “sehtinnmt” account. Congress might well open
one.—Kansas City World.
When Will the World Sp?ak English?
f 1 • 1 **' Huie is coming when English will bp the
E I universal tongue. This is almost Nie case at
j the present time. When our fathers wore
— young no one could make a satisfactory tour
contin ent unless he was able to speak
and understand French. * To-day. except in
some remote corner whore civilization has not
penetrated, a knowledge of French is not essential. Along
all the highways of travel English is spoken by a large .
proportion of those who deal with the tourist class. The I
vast number of Americans who visit Europe and whose '
knowledge of the language Is very limited has made it
necessary for foreigmnM to learn English. In Germany
the teaching of the English language is considered essen
tial and in mercantile houses it has been found that only
through a knowledge of English can the German manufac- I
Hirers hope to compete with their British and American |
rivals. The activity of the English in Africa has done
much toward the spread of the language in that continent,
•and the same-mwrt has-been h> other quarters of
the globe through the establishment of English colonies.—
Washington Bost.
but generally the former is deemed
sufficient. In this way a perfect rec
ord is made of the original bill, and
in case of mistake, when it Is neces
sary -to refer to the bills, the reeoi;d
is readily procured. A handy duplicate
Ing apparatus lias been patented by
an Oregon Inventor, by which dupli
cate copies of bills, waybills, etc., can
he made without the hand coming in
contact witli the carbon paper. The
frame is made with a side nnd back
of tiie sami' size as the bills_Uu-bo
used. Lu the back o^Lthe frame- art*
vertical slots which hold a pair of slid
ing hinges. Connected- with the
hinges is ti wire frame to which the
carbon sheet Is attached, the frame
arranged parallel to the sides and
F
KVADIIA MAXil’l I.A'ir.h.
back, one side piece being longer than
the other to serve as a handle tor
lifting the carbon paper. The alllxing
of the carbon- sheets to Ilie holder
can be done by folding ^ie ends of the
carbon paper back in tiie form of a
loop which slips over the rod. In
using tire apparatus the pad’ of dupli
cate sheets on which the carbon du
plicate of the waybill or other writ
ing Is to be made Is placed on the bot
tom ot the case, the carbon holder,
then arranged so that the sheet of car
bon will rest on top ot the pad. The
bill or writing of which a duplicate
is to lie made Is placed on top ot the
carbon sheet and the face of the bill
is then tilled out in the usual way;
simultaneously with tilling out a ear
ism duplicate of tiie writing Is made,
on the uppermost sheet ot the pad. By
then lifting the carbon holder on its
hinge the uppermost sheet of the pad
can lie removed and the device rear
ranged for further work. As the pad
diminishes In use the hinges gradually
work down in tlielr socket, So as to
maintain tiie carbon aud sheet in the
proper position until the last sheet In
the pad has been used, after which a
tresli pad of duplicate sheets [^placed
hi Tl:e;c no h.u.dh ’.g of
the carbon by the lingers after it has
been affixed on the holder. Further
more, the sheets of paper on which
the original and duplicates of waybills
are written are frequently printed in
form of blanks. When of this farm
tiie apparatus insures Hint the original
sheet when plm ed in“the ease is prop
erly positioned willi respect to the pad
underlying tiie carbon s|jeet.
MnlT Originitted io France.
When the muff came to us from
France in tiie days of t'iinrles IN. no
indy c nild have worn a sealskin muff,
for bliick was dci-recd by the king to
be the badge of tiie coniqmn people and
the' court followers were restricted to
the colors.- Muffs have gone through
more styles than it would seem possl
Ide to invent for such a simple article
of convenience, says the Ixmdon
< 'hronlele. They lime betn long and
narrow and again large and round.
One of the most curious styles was
that of Louis XIV. called the “ehlcus
innncliorß,” because they were made
to convey little dogs In.
The muff when lii l introduced was
Ilie exclusive property of the nobility.
Tlie.se muffs were very small and con
sisted of a single piece of velvet, bro
cade or silk with fur and the
openings fastened witli rich jewels:
Such arrangements came in during tile
early part of the seventeeuth century.
IVe now assoenite the muff only willi
cfiEd weather’, but In’tlie old days if
was a regular part of woman's di-e-i
mid was carried nt all times.
Ills OHlcfnl Title.
t'oloind William Verbeek, of St.
John's School, nt Manlius, N. Y„ tells
the following story of the closing ex
eryjses at a Syracuse school:
A little girl was asked. Who is the
head of our government?
"Mr. Roosevelt," she replied prompt
ly- . •
"That Is right," said the teacher,
“but what is ills official title?”
"Teddy!" responded the little miss
proudly.
li Would Swell.
"Now," sujd the clerk, "this is a very
good buth sponge."
"Oli!” exclnlmcd tiie eusomter, "Hint
won’t do. It's too large."
"Large? Why, it's rather small for
a bath sponge.”
“Perhaps, but I live in a flat.”—
I'hilndelphla Press.
A funny thing has happened: The
women look natural In their new full
hats. As u rule you have to get used
to the new tall hats.
There's no use arguing nbont H; lots
of I'cnnlo think owning n pl^no give;'
i 1 '! SUlUllltlg.
| RAINED MOUNTAIN TROUT.
Waterspout Raised School of Fiah aad
• Dropped Them on Ground.
About nineteen years ago, before tho
hills hereabouts became the summer
resorts for the Slate’s <litp, and rustic
cottagers were scarce on ahe* mountain
sides, I rode ov . from GokJ^n to Wel
lington lake on a l^rro, more to ac
quaint mys<‘lf with the country and,
of course, incidentally to shoot any
game I chanced t » spy, says a writer
in the Denver l ost. From a distance
1 caught sight of th<‘ lake glistening
in the sunlight like a big patch of
snow, and the closer I got the. more de
cided I became to pitch my tent on Its
green carpeted banks for a few days’
ircreittion. There wen* trout, two and
six pounders, in the lake in those days,
and I caught lots of them. One after
noon dark clouds began hovering
around the mountain tops, and by doz
ens the wind gained in velocity and
great whitecaps appeared on the lake,
to be transfoimHsl into t louds of mist
which sjn-ayed the mountain sides like
an April shower. Off iu the distance
I heard a peculiar wind sweeping over
the mountains and shortly the pine
Irees on the opposite side of the lake
began swaying heavily, as if they
would break, and broken boughs filled
the air llk<» the wreckage of a cyclone.
Hardly had the trws ceased their vio
lent shaking when I gazed in wonder
at the waterspout forming in the mid
dle of Ihe lake, it was a splendid
spectacle as it gradually grew iu
height, spiral shape, and in diameter
appeared to be twenty feet at Its base.
Like a monument it rose* oh the sur
face of the water, when there came an
othor distant wt-ird smrnd.-'and iirltiu
fierceness of the trees’ agitation I lost
sight of the waterspout, but soon an
other loomed up nearer to shore, and
■when it collapsed there was a rain of
live trout, gentlemen, 1 say genuine
Colorado mountain trout, and they lay
scaGered on the ground for quite a
distance around me. but hardly any
weighed over three ounces.
How do I account for It? Well. I
figured it out this way—the waterspout
happened to form over a large school
of fish near the shor<‘ where the water
was quite shallow and the suction of
the whirl win I was so' great it raised
the fish Hint were in water only a few
inches deep. Rather than see the fish
.perish on hind I busied myself for an
hour throwing them back into the hike,
but. in maitvlifc was extinct, having
fallen on the rocks from a height of
probably fifty feet.
A Neighborhood Affair.
“Yes. the trouble began over the
chicken: . The chickens belonged to
Bliffers’ next-door neighbor and the
day one of them disappeared the Buf
fers had chicken for dinner.”
“And the neighbor found it out?”
“Yes, with BHffm’s’ assistance. He’s
so foolishly soft-hearted that he In
sisted on carrying over to the neighbor
a mice plateful of the chiclum and Uto
neighbor wasn’t grateful a bit. On
the contrary, he got hot* and sassi'd
Bliffers and BlUTers said that the
neighbor was no Christian. If he was
he would know that it wasn’t the gift
itself that should hi* considered, hut
the spirit that proinpted it. And the
neighbor said that if Ite knew what a
tainted gift was it was that stolen
chicken. And BHlTers fired up and de-
dared that the chicken wasn’t tainted
—he guessed he knew what a tainted
chicken was And the next day tho
neighbor turned tiie hose on Buffers'
little liny mid that evening Bliffers
threw a dead cat over tiie fence into
ids neighbor's yard, mid It hit his
neighbor—who was looking through a
knot-hole —mid the next day when
Bliffers and tiie neighbor met in front
of O’Hagan's corner grocery they
। clinched —mid now Ilic whole thing is
in Un; courts."
« GettJmg Rid of Guestfl.
The late General Isaac J. Wistar, of
I'hilailclphla-rlt was after his family
that the wistaria vine was named—
had a multitude of anecdotes that he
could draw on xvhen he desired to
score :i point or Jo llluinlnntc an idea.
Genet il Wistar was lor a number ot
years the president of the i’ennsylva
nla Academy of Natural Sciences. At
one of the academy meetings a rather
old mid original method of reaching
Ilie north pole was suggested. Of this,
method the president, said, shilling:'
“lioubtless. in that way. the pole
might be mdiicvi d. but what an orig
inal way of getting there It would be.
It remigds i e ot the way two Sun
Francisco ft - mis of mine once took to
get rid of some guests.
“These gm As came to spend the
evening, and didn't know when to de
part. Mi friends were patient with
them, very pat|eni: but when 11, 12,
nnd llnully I o'clock struck, the hus
brntd realized Unit Hometiling must lie
done. He was im original chap, mid,
in bls original way. he loqk-d nt hit
wife and said mildly:
"’My dear, hadn't we better get up
to bed? our friends may want to be
going.' ”
At Toronto.
First I'anuck —You told me that man
Recker was a Lake Erie captain, and
now 1 find Hint Im is mi escaped em
bezzler.
Second < 'uuurk I never said lie was
a enytnin. 1 told you he was a skip
per from Ohio t'levelmid Leader.
All Try H~
Aii advertisement in a German
newspaper eonluins this tempting
offer: “Anybody who can prove that
my tapioca Is damaging to Health will
at once receive three packets gratis.”
A man does despise flirting be is not
in ox