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DON'T USE SURNAMES.
Only Christian Nunes Signed b? Majority of Royal Houses. The origin of royal houses was similar throughout Europe, and kings and their families, speaking broadly, never had or used surnames. They signed their Christian names alone. So universally was this the case that it became rigid etiquette that a person of royal birth should not use a surname, though there have been numbers of cases of dynas ties, like our own Stuarts, like the Bernadette dynasty of Sweden or like the Bonaparte family, who unquestionably and indubitably had inherited surnames. But it has always been a puzzle why the cadet mcmber.s of our own royal house do not subscribe them selves as peers by their peerage designations, as do other peers. However, the fact is they do not. but it has not been discov ered what are the rules which govern their signatures. The sovereign signs by the Christian name and usually adds "R." or "R. and I." Princes and prin cesses sign by their Christian names, and sometimes, but not always, add the letter "P." When pr why this is added or omitted is pot known. But the habits of royalty lead others into strange happenings, I here was an occasion upon which Queen Victoria after 'a •'function** was asked to sign a visitor's, hook. Her majesty wrote '•'•Victoria R. and T." Prin cess Henry of Rattcnberg then w rote "Beatrice P." The turn of the iocaj Mayoress came next, and she signed "Elizabeth." The surname was hastily written' Sn the following day, hut too late to prevent, the story gaining cur rency;. Ai? the Turn of the Tide. It 1 was, asserted by Aristotle that no- animal dies near the sea except at the ebbing of the tide. This idea-in some form or another has been popular for centuries. Such a notion, I find, still ex sts at Gravesend. An old salt 'who used to sit by a dying man in an ale house on the shore of the Thames told me he noticed 1 my patient was always worse at the turn of the tide, and then got better after the tti'd'e had turned. Readers- of Dickens cannot forget the account in "'Darn'd' Copper field" of Mr. Barkis "going out with the tide." According to Aristotle and Mr. P'egotty, it i's at the ebbing of the tide that death always occurs. But at Gravesend, I am told, it does not matter whether the tide iis at the ebb or flow ; it is just at the turn of the tide that death occurs. "I have often seen it happen, sir," an old shrimper said to me quite recently. | ! i j j ; Monarch Pine Felled. What is said to be the tallest cork pine that has been converted into lumber for twenty-five years was cut recently in Chippewa county, Northern Michigan. The lumber it produced aggregated 4,116 feet. After this pine mon arch had been leveled it cut four fogs fourteen feet long and two feet long. If the trunk had been left uncut there would have been one log 124 feet Fong. The bottom cut erf the tree measured forty-four inches- in di ameter, and the cut from the top was twelve inches thick, ft was' nearly i®o feet from the roots of the tree to the first limb, it was clear of crotches or large limbs, nearly the whole of it being clear lumber. It sold for $80 a thou sand feet. The big log was cut in the Merchant timber camp near Strongville. • Fast Trains in England. TKV quickest run in England is the Nortfii' Eastern's from Dar lington tor York, forty-four and a quarter miles, at a speed of 61.7 fnifas per houv r hut! this can Scarcely__ he ranked above the Great Western's run from Pad dington • to Bristol', via Bath, I18 3-8' miles, at a speed of 59-2 miles per hour. The longest, ffin is the Great Western's froiff. Paddington to Plymouth. 225 3-4 miles, at a Speed of 54.8 miles per hour, though the Midland has one near* flv as good, from Leeds to St. Pan* gras, 196 1-4 miles, at 35.3 miles per hour. Music Treatment \\'here the trouble is physical, Such as faihite of ah' organ, indi gestion. congestion, qf the liver, and so on. strong, firm, martial imisic will give best results, ac cording to T >r. Latson, editor of Health Culture. For this class of treatment the key of C major is pa: t.icV.Irmly recommended. CAT-LIKE MAN. How He Does Love to Play With a Joke. The problem whether women have any sense of humor has vexed mankind for generations, says a well-known raconteur. It is unfortunately true that they seldom laugh readily at our jokes, and are inclined to tell 11s not to "be silly" when we play airily with a subject. But this may be due to a too keen sense of humor. We may not be up to their form. Our jokes (forsooth) may not he good enough! But no matter! We re venge ourselves for thi shy telling women that the}' do not know a good thing when they see one. and that, though, when pain and ; anguish rack the brow they may be ministering angels, they v.are not the audience we should choose for our finest flights of 1 whimsicality. A writer in a monthly magazine himself a humorist, extra sec. of wide reputatibn, thinks that he sees signs of an improvement in this state of affairs. "Women's sense of humor," he says, "has in creased in recent y ears. They see jokes more readily than they used to. 'Phis is due to the fact that they look their best when they are smiling.*' There is no reason whatever why humorists should not he welcome in every drawing room. Men capable of telling a good story, or working up to a pleasant epigram, will be the center of attraction. The mili* tarv. \he musicians and the Gib son men will be among the alsd rans. ' Killed the Big Wolf. R. M. Flight of Edmond suc ceeded in catching the big wolf that for several years caused heavy losses in live stock to farm ers in Monroe county, Mo. The wolf had killed many sheep and defied all efforts of the farm ers to destroy it. and, as a last re sort, they sent for J. J. Brown of this city. Being unable to go, he sent R. M. 1 light, one of the best wolf hunters in Oklahoma. After several days hunting the fra'!' was at last foumf, and with in a few hours the wolf was caught and despatched' by Okla homa grown wol'f hounds. The pelt, which-was sent to Mr. Brown, shows the animal to have been an extra large one, looking like a cross between a timber wolf and a red' fox." Mr. Brown will have the pel't tanned and' added to his already large collection of . trophies of the hunt. Paradoxical. "1 don't see how yon put up ilh the society of Slowby, he's » slowest thing that ever hap -n : 'd. "Y-y he's one of my fastest ; 1 i ; Handsomest Indian Girl of South west. Miss Sophia Fisher, a half breed Comanche girl whose fath er was taken captive by the In dians when a lad of nine years, near Fort Belknap, Tex., will he a guest of Spybuck, chief of the Shawnee tribe, during the last In dian powow and celebration at Collinsville, I. T. This young woman speaks Eng lish without accent, and is said to he the handsomest Indian woman in the Southwest. Her hair fs long and silken, and her eyes arc blue and sparkling. She is said to be a singer of unusual ability. Her father owns 2,200 acres of lands under cultivation and is a breeder of blooded stock. Their home is about nine miles from Lawton, Okla., and is mod ern and richly furnished. Miss Fisher plays several mu sical instruments, but prefers the piano. Besides being a musician she is passionately fond of horse back riding, and her friends say she can rope a wild steer more easily than any of the men about the place. Give a Reason. Tn answer to a complaint made by the town council of Camborne, England, that the caretaker of the recreation ground had allowed the grass to grow fo an inconve nient height, that officer replied that the donkey which had for merly eaten the grass hail died of lockjaw and lie had been unable to buy another one to take its place. French Writers and Sports. 'Flic present literary generation of Paris prides itself on its good health, and gives itself freely up to sport. Among those of its writers who are under thirty-five years of age. one can scarcely be fottnd : who does not practice, in the most assiduous manner, one or more sports. CANINE MOTOR FIEND. Pittsburg Dog Jumps Aboard Any Auto That Comes Along. Pittsburg has a canine aittomo hile enthusiast. He is a black hull terrier, now quite old, who attached himself to the fortunes of Dr. M. W. Everson in puppy hood. The dog. whose name is Jack, frequently accompanied Dr. Ever son on automobile spins, says the Motor World, and was unmis takably grieved when the phy sician several years ago dispensed with his motor car. He allayed his sorrow by romp ing alongside of passing automo bil es. and eventually had the nerve to jump into one. The driver did not resent the inti'll* sion, and from that time Jack has snent his days repeating the trick. He has become quite a favorite with automobilists. Jack does not like a "oisy car, and when riding in one will make a quick shift if a quieter vehicle happens along. He has riot use for a wind shield either, prefer ring to stand with his front feet on the dashboard, feeding on wind with evident relish when he is not barking. His bark is pretty con stant, however, and the driver who has him as a passenger is not obliged to .toot his horn to any ex tent. E* E. Jordan <£L Albert T. Pickering SUCCESSORS TO CHARLES GERTENSON Will close out the entire stock of General Merchandise in t5he Store. The Sale Begins March 9th and Continues Until all is Sold A Reduced Price on Evary Article. Cash must be paid on all pur chases, and everything must be sold as soon as possible to make room for the New Line of Stock which the new firm will carry in their new business. Furniture, Undertaking goods, Hard* ware and all kinds of Implements. If you acre in need of Groceries, Canned Goods, Household Supplies of adl kinds, Dry Goods, Men s Clothing, Underwear, Shirts, Hosiery, Gloves, Mittens, Womens Wrappers, Boots, Shoes, Rubber Boots, Over shoes, Rubbers, Cotton Bats, Comfortables, Blankets, Pillows, or anything else we have A CALL—WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY JORDAN-PICKERING CO. GOT LOTS OF TIME . / £>ut the Judge Drew the Line at Eternity. Canada's supreme court has fixed a maximum of three hours for counsel's addresses, which de gree has recalled some tales of it." Don't apologize," was the told of a counsel who pressed his argument for a very long time With frequent repetition. "Mr. -' said the judge, "you have said that before." "Have I, my lord?" replied counsel apologetic ally. "I am very sorry; I forgot it." "Don't apalogize," was the judicial response; "it was so very long ago." An American lawyer, who Seemed unable to arrive at the I end of a prolonged speech, at 1-s.st i ventured to express a fear that he was taking up too much time. | "Oh. never mind time," observed ; the judge, "but for goodness sake, do not trench upon eternity." Or Role of Doomed Culprit. "History states that the Ro mans worked like bees." "Urn." "Yes, sir; worked like bees." "Very well. I'll bite. Doing what ?" "Building the apian way! I say, old man, I sometimes think I ought to forsake the drug busi ness for the sock and buskin." Tooth plugging. Mr. Killkinton Changes His Views Regarding Old Song. "You remember," said Mr. Kill kinton. "that grand old song, 'Grandpa's Teeth Are Plugged With Zinc?' "Well, f always supposed that that zinc business was simply a grotesquely humorous flight of fancy. 1 never thought that any body's teeth could really he filled with zinc; but now I am not so sure about that. "Lately I have had four teeth filled, and no two have been filled with the same material. One was filled with malgatn.one with gold, one with porcelain and one with gutta percha; and now the mate rial they used to fill grandpa's teeth within the song doesn't seem to me anything like so ridi culous as it did. "I have seven teeth yet to he filled, and if the dentist keeps on as he has begun, using something different for every tooth, why, I wouldn't be surprised if before I got through 1 had one tooth at least filled with zinc. At Galveston. "I've lost my new ribbon shoe strings." "What's that package in your purse?" "That's by bathing suit." SELF-LIGHTING LIFEBUOY A Novelty on the Lusitania That Attracted Attention. One feature of the-big Lusi tania, which attracted crowds when she was open for inspec tion, was the automatic life buoy which is fastened between decks 011 a slanting frame in 3 uch a way that it can be released by the pressure of a button on the bridge. On each end of the four arms of a large cross-shaped [frame work is a copper ball. These halls are so weighted that when the buoy strike's the water it wilt float upright. To the cross arms arc fastened long brass cylin ders. These cylinders are cal cium carbide lights so arranged that they flare up by contact with the water. Should a cry of "Man over hoard" he raised at night, the of ficer on the bridge presses the button, the buoy hits the water, and the lights flare up. If the man overboard be a swimmer he can reach the buoy, to the arms of which loops arc attached to aid him in keeping above water. The ship also has a mark to guide after it has put out. Woman's Reason. "I often wonder how it is jwi never get the blues?" . "Blue is not becoming to me.'*