DON'T USE SURNAMES.
Only Christian Nunes Signed b?
Majority of Royal Houses.
The origin of royal houses
was similar throughout Europe,
and kings and their families,
speaking broadly, never had or
used surnames. They signed
their Christian names alone.
So universally was this the case
that it became rigid etiquette that
a person of royal birth should not
use a surname, though there have
been numbers of cases of dynas
ties, like our own Stuarts, like the
Bernadette dynasty of Sweden or
like the Bonaparte family, who
unquestionably and indubitably
had inherited surnames. But it
has always been a puzzle why the
cadet mcmber.s of our own royal
house do not subscribe them
selves as peers by their peerage
designations, as do other peers.
However, the fact is they do
not. but it has not been discov
ered what are the rules which
govern their signatures. The
sovereign signs by the Christian
name and usually adds "R." or
"R. and I." Princes and prin
cesses sign by their Christian
names, and sometimes, but not
always, add the letter "P." When
pr why this is added or omitted is
pot known.
But the habits of royalty lead
others into strange happenings,
I here was an occasion upon
which Queen Victoria after 'a
•'function** was asked to sign a
visitor's, hook. Her majesty
wrote '•'•Victoria R. and T." Prin
cess Henry of Rattcnberg then
w rote "Beatrice P." The turn of
the iocaj Mayoress came next,
and she signed "Elizabeth." The
surname was hastily written' Sn
the following day, hut too late to
prevent, the story gaining cur
rency;.
Ai? the Turn of the Tide.
It 1 was, asserted by Aristotle
that no- animal dies near the sea
except at the ebbing of the tide.
This idea-in some form or another
has been popular for centuries.
Such a notion, I find, still ex
sts at Gravesend. An old salt
'who used to sit by a dying man
in an ale house on the shore of
the Thames told me he noticed 1
my patient was always worse at
the turn of the tide, and then got
better after the tti'd'e had turned.
Readers- of Dickens cannot forget
the account in "'Darn'd' Copper
field" of Mr. Barkis "going out
with the tide."
According to Aristotle and Mr.
P'egotty, it i's at the ebbing of
the tide that death always occurs.
But at Gravesend, I am told, it
does not matter whether the tide
iis at the ebb or flow ; it is just
at the turn of the tide that death
occurs. "I have often seen it
happen, sir," an old shrimper
said to me quite recently.
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Monarch Pine Felled.
What is said to be the tallest
cork pine that has been converted
into lumber for twenty-five years
was cut recently in Chippewa
county, Northern Michigan. The
lumber it produced aggregated
4,116 feet. After this pine mon
arch had been leveled it cut four
fogs fourteen feet long and two
feet long. If the trunk had been
left uncut there would have been
one log 124 feet Fong.
The bottom cut erf the tree
measured forty-four inches- in di
ameter, and the cut from the top
was twelve inches thick, ft was'
nearly i®o feet from the roots of
the tree to the first limb, it was
clear of crotches or large limbs,
nearly the whole of it being clear
lumber. It sold for $80 a thou
sand feet. The big log was cut in
the Merchant timber camp near
Strongville.
• Fast Trains in England.
TKV quickest run in England
is the Nortfii' Eastern's from Dar
lington tor York, forty-four and
a quarter miles, at a speed of 61.7
fnifas per houv r hut! this can
Scarcely__ he ranked above the
Great Western's run from Pad
dington • to Bristol', via Bath,
I18 3-8' miles, at a speed of 59-2
miles per hour.
The longest, ffin is the Great
Western's froiff. Paddington to
Plymouth. 225 3-4 miles, at a
Speed of 54.8 miles per hour,
though the Midland has one near*
flv as good, from Leeds to St. Pan*
gras, 196 1-4 miles, at 35.3 miles
per hour.
Music Treatment
\\'here the trouble is physical,
Such as faihite of ah' organ, indi
gestion. congestion, qf the liver,
and so on. strong, firm, martial
imisic will give best results, ac
cording to T >r. Latson, editor of
Health Culture. For this class of
treatment the key of C major is
pa: t.icV.Irmly recommended.
CAT-LIKE MAN.
How He Does Love to Play With
a Joke.
The problem whether women
have any sense of humor has
vexed mankind for generations,
says a well-known raconteur. It
is unfortunately true that they
seldom laugh readily at our jokes,
and are inclined to tell 11s not to
"be silly" when we play airily
with a subject.
But this may be due to a too
keen sense of humor. We may
not be up to their form. Our
jokes (forsooth) may not he good
enough! But no matter! We re
venge ourselves for thi shy telling
women that the}' do not know a
good thing when they see one.
and that, though, when pain and ;
anguish rack the brow they may
be ministering angels, they v.are
not the audience we should
choose for our finest flights of 1
whimsicality.
A writer in a monthly magazine
himself a humorist, extra sec. of
wide reputatibn, thinks that he
sees signs of an improvement in
this state of affairs. "Women's
sense of humor," he says, "has in
creased in recent y ears. They
see jokes more readily than they
used to. 'Phis is due to the fact
that they look their best when
they are smiling.*' There is no
reason whatever why humorists
should not he welcome in every
drawing room. Men capable of
telling a good story, or working
up to a pleasant epigram, will be
the center of attraction. The mili*
tarv. \he musicians and the Gib
son men will be among the alsd
rans. '
Killed the Big Wolf.
R. M. Flight of Edmond suc
ceeded in catching the big wolf
that for several years caused
heavy losses in live stock to farm
ers in Monroe county, Mo.
The wolf had killed many sheep
and defied all efforts of the farm
ers to destroy it. and, as a last re
sort, they sent for J. J. Brown
of this city. Being unable to go,
he sent R. M. 1 light, one of the
best wolf hunters in Oklahoma.
After several days hunting the
fra'!' was at last foumf, and with
in a few hours the wolf was
caught and despatched' by Okla
homa grown wol'f hounds.
The pelt, which-was sent to Mr.
Brown, shows the animal to have
been an extra large one, looking
like a cross between a timber wolf
and a red' fox." Mr. Brown will
have the pel't tanned and' added
to his already large collection of
. trophies of the hunt.
Paradoxical.
"1 don't see how yon put up
ilh the society of Slowby, he's
» slowest thing that ever hap
-n : 'd.
"Y-y he's one of my fastest
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Handsomest Indian Girl of South
west.
Miss Sophia Fisher, a half
breed Comanche girl whose fath
er was taken captive by the In
dians when a lad of nine years,
near Fort Belknap, Tex., will he
a guest of Spybuck, chief of the
Shawnee tribe, during the last In
dian powow and celebration at
Collinsville, I. T.
This young woman speaks Eng
lish without accent, and is said
to he the handsomest Indian
woman in the Southwest. Her
hair fs long and silken, and her
eyes arc blue and sparkling. She
is said to be a singer of unusual
ability. Her father owns 2,200
acres of lands under cultivation
and is a breeder of blooded stock.
Their home is about nine miles
from Lawton, Okla., and is mod
ern and richly furnished.
Miss Fisher plays several mu
sical instruments, but prefers the
piano. Besides being a musician
she is passionately fond of horse
back riding, and her friends say
she can rope a wild steer more
easily than any of the men about
the place.
Give a Reason.
Tn answer to a complaint made
by the town council of Camborne,
England, that the caretaker of the
recreation ground had allowed
the grass to grow fo an inconve
nient height, that officer replied
that the donkey which had for
merly eaten the grass hail died of
lockjaw and lie had been unable
to buy another one to take its
place.
French Writers and Sports.
'Flic present literary generation
of Paris prides itself on its good
health, and gives itself freely up
to sport. Among those of its
writers who are under thirty-five
years of age. one can scarcely be
fottnd : who does not practice, in
the most assiduous manner, one
or more sports.
CANINE MOTOR FIEND.
Pittsburg Dog Jumps Aboard
Any Auto That Comes Along.
Pittsburg has a canine aittomo
hile enthusiast. He is a black
hull terrier, now quite old, who
attached himself to the fortunes
of Dr. M. W. Everson in puppy
hood.
The dog. whose name is Jack,
frequently accompanied Dr. Ever
son on automobile spins, says the
Motor World, and was unmis
takably grieved when the phy
sician several years ago dispensed
with his motor car.
He allayed his sorrow by romp
ing alongside of passing automo
bil es. and eventually had the
nerve to jump into one. The
driver did not resent the inti'll*
sion, and from that time Jack has
snent his days repeating the trick.
He has become quite a favorite
with automobilists.
Jack does not like a "oisy car,
and when riding in one will make
a quick shift if a quieter vehicle
happens along. He has riot use
for a wind shield either, prefer
ring to stand with his front feet
on the dashboard, feeding on wind
with evident relish when he is not
barking. His bark is pretty con
stant, however, and the driver
who has him as a passenger is not
obliged to .toot his horn to any ex
tent.
E* E. Jordan <£L Albert T. Pickering
SUCCESSORS TO
CHARLES GERTENSON
Will close out the entire stock
of General Merchandise
in t5he Store.
The Sale Begins March 9th and Continues Until all is Sold
A Reduced Price on Evary Article. Cash must be paid on all pur
chases, and everything must be sold as soon as possible to make room
for the New Line of Stock which the new firm will carry in their new
business.
Furniture, Undertaking goods, Hard*
ware and all kinds of Implements.
If you acre in need of Groceries, Canned Goods, Household Supplies
of adl kinds, Dry Goods, Men s Clothing, Underwear, Shirts, Hosiery,
Gloves, Mittens, Womens Wrappers, Boots, Shoes, Rubber Boots, Over
shoes, Rubbers, Cotton Bats, Comfortables, Blankets, Pillows, or anything
else we have
A CALL—WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY
JORDAN-PICKERING CO.
GOT LOTS OF TIME . /
£>ut the Judge Drew the Line at
Eternity.
Canada's supreme court has
fixed a maximum of three hours
for counsel's addresses, which de
gree has recalled some tales of
it." Don't apologize," was the
told of a counsel who pressed his
argument for a very long time
With frequent repetition. "Mr.
-' said the judge, "you have
said that before." "Have I, my
lord?" replied counsel apologetic
ally. "I am very sorry; I forgot
it." "Don't apalogize," was the
judicial response; "it was so very
long ago."
An American lawyer, who
Seemed unable to arrive at the
I end of a prolonged speech, at 1-s.st
i ventured to express a fear that he
was taking up too much time.
| "Oh. never mind time," observed
; the judge, "but for goodness sake,
do not trench upon eternity."
Or Role of Doomed Culprit.
"History states that the Ro
mans worked like bees."
"Urn."
"Yes, sir; worked like bees."
"Very well. I'll bite. Doing
what ?"
"Building the apian way! I
say, old man, I sometimes think
I ought to forsake the drug busi
ness for the sock and buskin."
Tooth plugging.
Mr. Killkinton Changes His
Views Regarding Old Song.
"You remember," said Mr. Kill
kinton. "that grand old song,
'Grandpa's Teeth Are Plugged
With Zinc?'
"Well, f always supposed that
that zinc business was simply a
grotesquely humorous flight of
fancy. 1 never thought that any
body's teeth could really he filled
with zinc; but now I am not so
sure about that.
"Lately I have had four teeth
filled, and no two have been filled
with the same material. One was
filled with malgatn.one with gold,
one with porcelain and one with
gutta percha; and now the mate
rial they used to fill grandpa's
teeth within the song doesn't
seem to me anything like so ridi
culous as it did.
"I have seven teeth yet to he
filled, and if the dentist keeps on
as he has begun, using something
different for every tooth, why, I
wouldn't be surprised if before I
got through 1 had one tooth at
least filled with zinc.
At Galveston.
"I've lost my new ribbon shoe
strings."
"What's that package in your
purse?"
"That's by bathing suit."
SELF-LIGHTING LIFEBUOY
A Novelty on the Lusitania That
Attracted Attention.
One feature of the-big Lusi
tania, which attracted crowds
when she was open for inspec
tion, was the automatic life buoy
which is fastened between decks
011 a slanting frame in 3 uch a
way that it can be released by the
pressure of a button on the
bridge.
On each end of the four arms
of a large cross-shaped [frame
work is a copper ball. These
halls are so weighted that when
the buoy strike's the water it wilt
float upright. To the cross arms
arc fastened long brass cylin
ders. These cylinders are cal
cium carbide lights so arranged
that they flare up by contact with
the water.
Should a cry of "Man over
hoard" he raised at night, the of
ficer on the bridge presses the
button, the buoy hits the water,
and the lights flare up. If the
man overboard be a swimmer he
can reach the buoy, to the arms
of which loops arc attached to
aid him in keeping above water.
The ship also has a mark to guide
after it has put out.
Woman's Reason.
"I often wonder how it is jwi
never get the blues?" .
"Blue is not becoming to me.'*