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Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, July 15, 1854, Image 1

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' 1 ' " COME AND TAKE ME. Duviyier. 0 7 .""X-" -1
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VOL. 1.
RAFTSMAN'S JOURNAL.
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"Kafuuiau's Journal," Clearfield, Pa., (post-paid to
reeeive attention.)
THE SIGNAL STAR.
JTY FA50T FOP.RESTER.
"Corns btch.eorru bac'i my childhood. L. E. I..
I'd not recall my childhood,
With all its sweet dtdight,
Im simple bird-like gladness,
It was not always bright.
Kren morning had her tear-drop,
And spring her clouded iky,
And on the fairest cradle,
I've seen the shadows lie.
I'd not recall my childhofcd,
Though tender memories throng
Around its rosy portals.
Prelusive to life's soog.
The full voiced living chorus,
la swelling round me now,
And a rosier light is resting
Upon my maiden brow.
1 have made a changeful journey,
Up the hill of life since morn;
I hare gathered flowers and blossom?'
And been pierced by many a thorn,
But from out the core of sorrow
I hare plucked a jewel rare,
The strength which mortals gather
In their coaseles atrifo with care.
Njw I graep life's burning breaker.
And howe'er the bubbles glow,
.I'll pUe not till l'v tatted .
The deepest ware below;
Though bitter dregs may mingle,
The crimson tide sh&U roll,
In full and fearless currents .
Through the fountain of my eoul.
No! I'd not go back to childhood,
From the radient flush of noon;
And when evening closes round me.
I eraro ono only boon;
Amid the ralley's darkness.
Its dangers and its dread,
Tke signal etar of Judah
To shine above my Lead.
J5HOWINO HIM THE "CJIEHANG !"
: Breaking in an "Odd Pellow."
BY JACK liUMI'HKIES.
I bad just been to the post office,' said our
friend Popple, and among other letters of bu
siness, wits one from a clerk of a business firm,
with whom we now and then did some trade,
informing we that a certain person of Slapjack
county, on the W'tstern Unserve, would be down
in course of a few days, to lay in a stock of
goods, and it would be as well to look after
htni, and make a trade. The letter in question
wound tip by saying the individual's name was
Mr. Jonas Sparks, had money, stood fair; and
was an Odd Fellow ."
In course of a few days, one cold clear
morning, 'as I was sitting in the counting room
nursing the stove and perusing the newspapers,
I perceived a swaggering, self-reliant, unmis
takcable Ohio Yankee, coming in. He looked
around for some minutes, fnmbled with his
watch seals, and then perceiving me m the
back end of the store, he came forward.
Good morning sir,' quoth Popple, opening
his little counting room door to greet the stran
ger. Mornin,' was the rosponse. . 'Want to know
if this is Mr. Popple's consarn 2'
This is our establishment, sir,' said Popple.
Oh, yourn, ch ? Taint Popple's then, further
on, I guess.
This is the identical place, sir. I have the
pleasure to be George Popple sir.'
Oh! want to know? Well Popple, how are
you, how's trade, what's goin on, how's com,
got any flax seed, good sugar, and how'll you
trade for a lot of beeswax V .
How much wax have you, sir.'
. A heap.'
'Hundred weight 7
. " . .
Ah '
'Yes sir, Squire, its a clean, first chop arti
cle, too.' . r l-
t'fhere is not much of a demand for bcea
wax, just r ow,' sid Popple, but if its a good
article, and we cau make a trade, I tlont care
'if I do take a lot. .Where do you rcbide, sir.'
.'Me V
Aye.' --------
' J Oh ! yes, Sjarks' my name, Jonas Sparks.'
"'Ah! yes, think I've heard of you.'
" Spose you iuout, Popple, I'm from upytr
on the Reserve, Slapjack county; mighty grow
! in' place, that settlement, but how ken we trade
on that beeswax I' ; ' ; -'
Well, what -rt of a bill of goods do yon
calculate' to make T' "'
''Bout thousand dollars, La-a:alf cash, and
balance in trade or on time, Popple.'
Well, on those grounds I guess we can trade
and 111 take the wax.'
First rate,' says Sparks, first rate, just my
way of doing business, to a T ; gettin' kind o'
late, sort o' dinner time; heap o' runnin round
to do. Spose I sendup the wax now, ngnt
away, weigh it, I'll trot around, do up my
chores, and be back agaiu arter dinner.'
Very gtod,' said Popple, 'and, by the way,
Sparks, suppose you go to the lodge to-night.
and see our Chebar.g."
Chebangr,
'Our lodge, got your card with you?'
Card V says Sparks.
'Yes. member, aint you?' replies Popple.
Member?'
You understand?' says Popple, twirling his
thumb towards his chin and giving his fore
finger a certain crook and flirt, indicative of
something rather too 'Greek' for Sparks to
comprehend, but not wishing to cave in, un
der the impression that he wasn't posted in all
the dutftail and dodges vf every day life,
Sparks cocks hi3 eye and goes through a num
ber of similar gyrations to tho-e of Popple,
and with a grin from ear to ear, says,
'I'm in, be along just arter supper, go along
sure.'
Good,' says Popple .I'll expect you."
'Sartain, I'll be in.'
'Xow what in thunder,' says Popples, as
soon as Sparks left, 'did they mean by telling
or writing that this man was a member of our
order. Ah ! a ioke I suppose : I'll show him a
joke, bet I will before to-morrow, if he goes
out with me to-night.'
Xow what in sin,' says Sparks, as he went
on his way, dose that feller Popple mean by
lodge and Chcbang ? Calculates, I rekon, I'm
sort o'green; git out. I'll be darned if he dont
find Western Reserve folks as high rp in the
Aggers as these cute chaps around this settle
ment are.'
Popple returned to his store, and waited for
Sparks. Seven, eight, nine, ten o'clock, and
no Sparks visible.
Shut v.p the store, boys. Queer sfter wai
ting all this time, and the fellow not come,'
said Popple. 'Gone out alone; got picked up
probably,' and Popple proceeded to take a
game of Billiards and then home. v
Early the next morning the Representative
of the Western Reserve made his appearance.
Ah, (says Popple) that you. Sparks: look
down in the mouth. Waited for you till ten
o'clock last night. Sick, eh ?'
S:ck?'
Was you ?'
Yes, I am sick,' was the reply. 'Sick of
this yei town.'
'Why, what's up."
Went out a spell last night,' Sparks procee
ded.' Ah ! thought so. Go on.'
You were talking about a lodge.'
Ah, yes: I intended to have gone and in
troduced you.'
'I found it,' said Sparks.
What ?' says Popple.
'That Lodge1.'
'Eh? How where 1 Have you got your
cam :
I bought one.'
IIa, ha,' ejaculated Popple. I gues3 you've
been put through!'
Well I was,' says Sparks. I found the
lodge.'
'Did you, indeed ?'
'Saw the Chebanz ."
ITa! ha !' roars Popple. 'Go on, tell us all
about it, Sparks.'
'Well, Popple; I'll tell you. I was walking
down street last night, and, I meets a well
dressed feller gcing into a place where they
were making a pretty considerable darn'd
noise a little new to me, and says 'excuse me,
Mister, but what's up ?' m
It's the Chebang!' says I. ,
'It is eh ?' siys he.
Well it is,' says I.
Where's the Iv lzc ?'
'Are you a member of the order; do you
know the signs ?' says he, and then he put his
knuckles on his nose, hit his chin a slap with
'tothcr hand and winked so.'
Yes,' says Popple, I see ; ha! ha ! ha! go on
Sparks.
I'm not posted, Mister,5 says I. 'Don't un
derstand their tetches. You can explain, I
reckon, can't you ?' .
'If you want to jine our lodge,' 3aid he, 'I'll
introduce you. Come right up into the Chc
bang.' What's the expense ?' tays I.
'First fee aint much, harly treat the mem
bers. Come up, I'll give the pass word ; come
on. 'Cherbang!' says he, as he got up about
two Mights of darned crooked, d irk stairs, ami
knocked at the door. .-.Cherbang V says a fel
ler inside, who opens the door and peeps out
at us. In we went. Of course I treated, be
cause that was agreed on. The feller intro
duced me to the other fellers, about a dozen
of 'em. A head feller was playin' cards with
some chaps at a table. They all whispered a
spell, and I was axed if I wanted tejine the
lodere and become an Odd Feller, and I said
yesT Then says the head feller, mumblin'
over some gibberish, .'Come foller.' They all
fell into line, I got in the middle. They sorto,
;uug a Sind o'sorg, marched around the room,
CLEARFIELD. SATURDAY, JULY 15, 1854.
then up to a side door ; the head feller says,
'Cubing!' the rest said 'C7; ebe ngr and I hol
lers out 'Chebang!' too. The door opened,
and into the room they tramp. It was darn'd
dark, and I begin to wish I hadn't got into
the Chebang. Anyhow, thinks I I'll sec the
thing through, now. anyhow.
'Now we begin the ceremonies,' says the
head feller, mounting a big mahogany table'
kivered with cards and boxes, as I calculated.
'For the ring!' says he.
They all gits around me and tai-e olT their
hats. So did I.
Let the member that is to be, now begin
and pay his lee !' says the head feHer.
His fee !' they all shouts.
What's the fee?' says I.
'Ten dollars!' says he.
Pooty high figgers; make it five, Mister,'
says I.
'Silence!' says the head feller. 'Hear and
obey!" And I looks around and sees some of
the fellers hauling out their bowie-knives, so I
caves in. hauls cut my ten dollars, and then
they ordered me to kneel ; they pu'aa hand
kercher over my eyes. I was pooty consider
able darnd skeered about this thi:e. They
then sung that song again, ordered me to get
up, foller 'cm I went, up-stairs, down stairs,
and finally got sort o'out doors. They fum
bled around rne, I felt a boot toe or two, they
gave a laugh all around, and left. 'Bout that
time I hauls o.f the blind' and I finds myself
up a darn'd dark alfy, bat gone, and wallet too,
and I was an odd feller; seen the Chebang,
and went home along with a watchman !
After a long hearty laugh, Popple said 'swin
dled!' 'Well I was, of course !' says Sparks, 'so jest
take my beeswax, make out my bill, and goll
darn your settlement, odd fellers and lodges.
I've seen your chebangs, and I'm oft':' .
Jonas Sparks left in the next mail hue.
Ha Got Rim on the Ar cel.
"Look a hca nigga, where you swcllin to?''
was the unceremonious salutation of a saddle
colored geatlemau to an excruciatingly Sres
sed darker, whose crrovijoxion as .ot many
shades removed from a newly polished stov
pipe, asthe latter pusso:i" made a graceful
swing from the promenade on Fourth street
where he had been 'exhibiting himself for a
couple of hours, to the enry of the "Bucks,"
and the facinntic-n of a score of "nnuss gals''
into McAlister stre t.
Who-o-o-o you call nigger, sah?" was the
indignant response, with a majestic roll of a
pair of eyes with a great deal of white and rcry
little of any other color in them.
"Why I call yoa nigger," was the flat footed
Tfsteition of "saddle color." us he recognized
im'stovc pipe" a "gemman" who. two years
a;o exercised his genius about town in the
whit? washing ni.d boot blacking lint-, but. who
since then had ben "abroad" and had cultiva
ted a mustache and foreign airs. "Low me to
inform you sah, dat you is laberen under slight
delucination, I ain't no nigger."
" iTes you is a nigger nufi'un lut a nigger, if
you ain't a nigger, what is you?"
"Ise a Quarterroon, sah?"
"How ywi git to be a Quadderroon?"
'Why niy m udder was a white woman, and
my fader was a Spaayid, sah; dat how I git to
he a Quarterroon."
"Whar you git dat'plexion?"
"1 git him in the souf, sah, "feet ob-de cli
mate every pusson in the Souf got 'em sah."
"Whar you get dat wool.' Say, whar you
git dat wool?"
"I git dat by a by a-a-a accidum on my
muddcr side, sah." (Stovepipe slightly con
fused." "Now. how vou frit dat wool on your m ud
der side, if your mudder was a white woman,
say how.you gt dat wool."
"Bekase she got frighten afore I was bornd."
"How she git gghten, eh."
"Why she git chased by a black man sah."
"Look a hea nigger I dusscnt want to be
pussonal, but, from de'pearance ob your mud
dcr's son derc ain't no doubt dat do time your
mudder was chased by a black man, she was
oertooked."
A moment after you might hare played dom
inoes on the coat tails of the "Southern Gem
man," as he streaked it up McAlister street,
and dived into the doorway of that aristocrat
ic cararansary for the accommodation of dis
tinguished sunburnt pussons known as the Ho
tel Dumas.
The Drunkard's Cloak In the time of
Oliver Cromwell, the magistrates of North of
England punished drunkards by making them
carrv what was called the "Drunkard's Cloak"
This was a large bai rell with one head out,
and a lioie in the other,through which the offen
der was made to put his head, while his hands
were drawn through two small holes one on
each side. With this he was compelled to
march along the public streets.
What a strange sight it would be were all the
drunkards, now-a-days, compelled to march
about wearing barrels for cloaks.
rrThev say there is a saw-mill down fcast
which saws so easy, that while a young ra'a
was sitting on a log while it was running thro',
he was sawed in, halves, and did not discover
it until the overseer told him torll oil".
The Future of America.
The following is an extract from an eloquent
address delivered by the Hon. Wm. II. Sew
arp, at Columbus, Ohio, on the occasion of
the dedication of the Capital University
Ilia subject 'was the Destiny of America.
"If the Future which you seek consist in
this; that these thirty-one States shall contin
ue to exist for a period as long as human fore-
sinht is allowed to anticipate after coming
vent3, that they shall be all the while free,
that they shall remain distinct and independ
ent in domestic economy,and nevertheless be
only one in commerce and foreign affairs, that
there shall arise from among them,and within
their common domain,eren more than thirty-
one other equal States, alike free, independent
and united, that the borders of the Federal
Republic so peculiarly constituted shall be
extended so that it shall greet the sun when
ho-touches the Tropic, and when he sends his
glancing rays towards the Polar circle, and
shall include even distinct islands in either
ocean, that our population now counted by tens
of millions shall ultimately be reckoned by
hundreds of millions, that our wealth shall in
crease a thousand fold and our commercial
connections shall be multiplied, and our po
litical influence be enhanced in proportion
with this wide developement, and that man
kind shall come to recognize in us a successor
of the few great states which have alternately
borne commanding sway in the world, if this
and only this is desired, then I am free to
say that if, as you will readily promise, our
public and private virtues shall be preserved,
nothing seems tome more certain than the
attainment of this Future, so surpassingly
comprehensive and magnificent.
Indeed, such a future deems to be only a
natural consequence of what has already been
secured. Why then shall it not be attained?
Is not the Held as free for the expansion indi
cated as it was for that which has occured ?
Are not the national resources immeasurably
augmented and continually increasing? With
telegraphs and rail-roads crossing the Detroit,
the Niagara, the St. Johns aud the St. I.aw-
vivt.ro n-ith steamers on the Lakes ot
i 1 1 V. T J 1 T . U J ...... "
Nicarauga, and a rail road across the Isthmus
of Panama, and with negociations in, progress
for iassages orer Tehuantepec and Darien,
with a fleet in Hudson's Bay and another at
Bhering's straits, and with yet another explo
ring the La Plate, and with an armada at the
gates of Japan, with Mexico ready to divide
on the question of annexation and with the
Sandwich Islands suing to us for our sover
eignty, it is quite clear to us that the motives
to enlargement are even more active than they
ever were heretofore, aud that the public en
ergies instead of being relaxed, are gaining
new vigor.
Is the Nation to become suddenly weary
and so to waver and fall off from the pursuit
of its high purposes? When did any vigorous
nation ever become weary even of hazardous
and exhausting martial conquests? Our con
quests on the c ontrary, are chiefly peaceful,
and thus far have" proved productive of new
wealth and strength. Is a paralysis to fall up
on the national brain ? On the contrary, what
political constitution has ever throughout an
caqual period exhibited greater elasticity and
capacity for endurance ?
Is the union of the States to fail? Does its
strength indeed grow b-ss with the multiplica
tion of its bonds ? Or does its value diminish
with the increase of the social and political
interts which it defends and protects? Far
otherwise. For all practical purposes bear
ing on the great question the steam engine,
the iron road, the electric telegraph, all of
which are newer than the Union, and the Me
tropolitan Press, which is no less wonderful
in its working than they, have already oblit
erated State boundaries and produced a phys
ical and moral centralism more complete and
perfect than monarchical ambition ever ha3
forged or can forge. Do you reply nererthe
lessthat the Union rests on the will of the
several States and that, no matter what pru
dence or reason may dictate, popular passion
may become excited and rend it asunder.
Then I rejoin, When did the American Peo
ple ever give way to such impulses? They
are practically impassive. You remind me
that faction has existed and that only recently
it was bold and violent. I answer that it was
emboldened. Loyalty to the Union is not in
one or many States only but in all of the States,
the strongest of all public passions. It is
stronger I doubt not, than the love of justice
or even the love of equality, which hare ac
quired a strength here nerer known among
mankind before. A nation may well despise
threats of sedition that has nerer known but
one traitor, and this will be learned fully by
those who shall hereafter attempt to arrest any
great national movement by invoking from
their grave the obsolete terrors of Disunion.
Oxe of tue Hints. A school-boy, lately,
who thought his pocket money came rather
seldom, thus addressed his father: 'Please,
papa! tell me if the words, E pi uribus unum,
arc aim on our quarter aoiiarsf ut course
J they are you stupid boy,' 6aid papa but why
'do you usk that ?' 'Because replied theyoung
hopeful,it is now such a long time since I
had nc, that I ilmost forgot.' ' .: "...
THE KNOW NOTHING.
"Where have you been?" asked Mrs. Snob,
As Mr. Snob reel'd in the door;
"A pretty time to seek your honle;
I'm sure its twelv o'clock or more,
Those midnight revels will not do.
Shame on you Snob for acting so!
Where have you been I ask again,"
Says he -'dear w ife I do not know.
"A pretty plight your hat is in !
And sec your coat is muddied o'er;
Your nose is like a to-ma-to,
And you can scarcely reach the dooc
How came you so von naughty man.
Say Mr. Snob how came you so?"
My dearest wife don't bother me,
You've heard inc say that I don't know."
'I don't know bow I met the boys,
Ahd how I made tuy maiden speech;
I don't know what it was all about,
Or whether 'twas a growl or screech.
I don't know If 'twas pop we drank.
Or whiskey, lugorbeer or ruai,
I don't know how I broke my nose.
Or how I navigated hum."
'I see it ail you cruel man!"
Cri'-d Mr;. Snob excited quite.
-You've joined the men who nothing know,
And you're been meeting them to-night.
Well I'll forgive you if you'll tell
"Why they do meet in secret so?
Say Mr Snub what do you do?"
'Why, Mrs. Snolj I do not know! '
Eearea.
Whittier, speaking of Heaven, says:
"We naturally enough transfer to our idea
of Heaven whatever we like and rtrerence on
earth. Thither the Catholic carries on, in his
fancy, the imposing rites and time honored so-
uney, me imposing
tenuities of ins worship There the Metho-
dist sees his love feast and camp-meetings, in
the groves, and by the still waters and green
pastures of the Blessed Abode. The Quaker,
in the stillness of his self-communion, remem
bers that there was "silence in Heaven," The
Churchman.listening to the solemn chant of vo-
cal music.or the deep tones of the organ,thinks
of the song of thetlders, and the golden narps
of the New Jerrusalem.
The- Heaven of the northern cations of Uu-A
rope was across and sensual reflection of the
earthly life of a bai berous and brutal people.
The Indians or North America had a vague
notion of a Sunset Laud a beautiful Paradise
far in the West mountains and forrests filled
with deer and buffalo lakesand streams swar
ming with fishes the happy hunting grounds
of Souls.
A venerable and worthy New England cler
gyman on his deaih-bed, just before the close
of his life,declarcd he wa.s only conscious of an
awfullv solemn and intense curiosity to know
the great secret of Death and Eternity.
Yet we should not forget "that the Kingdom
of Heaven is within -."that it is the state of the
affections of the soul, the sense of a good con
science ; the sense of harmony with God; a
condition of Time and Eternity.
Napoleon'i Prophecy
"In the course of a few years" said that ex
traordinary man "Russia will have Constanti
nople.part of Turkey, and all of Greece. This
I hold o be as certan as if already taken
place. Almost all the cajolery and flattery that
Alexander practised against me was to gain
mv consent to that object. I would not give
it, foreseeing that the equilbrium of Europe
would be destroyed. In the natural course of
tnings Turkey must fall to Russia. The pow
ers it would injure, and who would oppose it,
are England, Franco, Prussia, and Austria.-
- ... .1
. - . - . H )in rorr Aoctr T .
w istrmoe. bv rrivinr her
Sprvt and other provinces bordering on the
,,M,i, no,r to Constan-
..VUIilctll UVmuuiwnj, ic-.a...
The only hypothesis, that France and
tir.opse
England will ever be allied with anything like
KtTiforitr will bo to prevent this. But even
this alliance would not avail. F ranee, Eng
land and Prussia, united, cannot prevent it.
Russia and Austria can at any time effect it.
tines mistress of Constantinople. Russia gets
nlltl.o mn,..rce of thc Mediterranean, be-
comes a great naval power, and God knows
...w
This remarkable prediction is in the first
stage of its accomplishment.
The Celestial State.
Old Rickets was a man of labor, devoted to
his occupat ion. He was withal rather uocouth
in the use of languge.
One day, while engaged in stopping up hog
holes about his place, he was approached by
a colporteur, and presented with a tract.
What's this all about?" demanded Rickets,
That, sir, is a book describing the cestial
state,' was the reply.
'Celestial State,' said Rickets, 'where the
deuce is that" .
My wothy friend, I fear you have not
Well never mind,' interrupted Rickets I
don't want to hear about any better State than
old Pennsylvania. I intend to live and die right
here if I can only keep them darned hogs out!
TOT I would advise you to put your head in
a dye tub, it's rather red,' . said a joker to a
sandy girl.
I would advise you to put you's int-o aa
oven, it's rather soft,' said ITancy.
jyEvtry seven minutes a child is bora in
London, and o tv pir1 ono dies.
JLU. ii. l
The Truth In a Nutshell. .
It was but seventy eight years ago since
Uncle Sam was born, and what an cventiui
serenty eight years they hare been! Seventy
eight years ago the United States was a re
mote circumstance; they now compose the
second commercial nation in the world.
In three quarters of a century they have re vo
lutionized the world, built up an empire, lick
ed our mother, and fenced in a continent.
In less time than it took Methusalah to get
out of swaddling clothes, we have made more
canalj, tamed more lightning, and harnessed
more.steajn, and at a greater cost in money
than the whole revenue of the world could
have paid for,the day he got out of his time.
In seventy five years we have not only
changed the politics of the earth, but its wear
ing apparal, cotton shirts being as much the
offspring of the United States, as ballot-boxes
and Democracy. Since the fourth of July
1770, the whole world has been to school, and
what is better, has learned more common senses
than was taught in the previous four thousand
years. .The problem of self government has
been solved, and its truth made immortal a
Washington or yellow corn. Its adaptation
to all the wants of the more as-piring nation Las
been ruad?. most signally manifest. Under its
harmonious working, a Republic ha3 grown up
in an ordinary lifetime, that would have taken
any other system of government a thousand
years to have brought about. Yes, in less time
than it takes some green-house plants to ar
rive at maturity, we have built a nation that
has spread itself lrom Maine to ilexico, iroro
the Atlantic to the Paciac a nation, that ha
caught more whales, licked more Mexicans,
lanted more tlegraph posts, and owned more
1 ft . lhtX (.Vcr
. ,
Asocdote.
It was cn the morning of the twenty-eecond,
at Buena Vista, writes a Kentucky friend, that
our reciment was lyincr upon a little hill thai
the menYjbsequetly christened 'Mount Dodge;"
J waitirig fur the ball to open. Sar,U Anna's
I mnrriimr ci rmdiment soon came in the form
- illllir.vtn jEch shell, which passed a fen-
. vove our fceads, and buried itself in
"thc carth
.Uowlv mother," exclaimed old Mike S ;
"if the born divil is'nt ahootin his dinner iois at
us!"
On the twenty-fifth after the battle w as over
and while Santa Anna wax still lingering at
Agua Nueva, 12 miles distant, with his shat
tered foreeeSjdivt-rs were the rumor of anoth
er battle, and many were the dlacuscns of
its probability among the men. 1 happened
to overhear one of these debates, ia which this
same Mike S , participated and kad.ai the
iawvers sav tno conclusion. Some half dozen
mc j1Uj arca(iy expressed thir views and
-wishes; some were very anxious lor another
fight; others, and they, too, the men who had
behaved the best under fire, expressed them
selves perfectly satisfied with such glimpse
of the 'elephant' as they had been able to ob
tain on the twenty-second and twenty-thirds
"Well boys," said Mike "I'll tell you Tiiy
sinte-mints about the aiild wooden legged Jivil
-if I had but a quart of whiskey in the wor-
ruld, and no money to buy any more, and no
more in the counthry to sell, sure I'd guc kim
half of it if he'd stay!" -
Legal Axlcpote. 'May it please.the court,
said a Yankee lawyer before a Dutch Justice,
the other day this is a case of thc greatest
;m,nrnniit while th American eacie.
I mv . ' - '
whose sleepless eye watches over the wellare
nugnty nepuouc, ana w .-: w w.
tend from the Alleghenies to the rocky chain
of West, was rejoicing in his pride of place'-
'Satop dare ! shtop, I say ! vat has dis euit
to do mit eagles ? Dis has notin to do mit d
wild bird. It ish von sheep,' exclaimed the
Justice. ,
"True, your Honor, but myclietst has his
rights'
Your client has no right to the eagle!'
'Of course, not, but the laws of language'-.
WIat cares I lor de laws of ; de language,
eh? I understand de laws of de State, and that
is enough for me. Confine your talk to de
case.'
Well, then, my client, the defendant in this
csc is eiuuycu vilu oiemjii wcrp) aim .
Dat will do! dat will do! Your glicnt is
Charged mit shtealing a sheep, just nine shik
lin.' De Court will adjourn to Bill Vcrguaomr
to drink. . . ; r I
LO'Deutr me exclaimed Mrs. Cubbage, as
she returned from church last Sunday; dcgj.
me, this is an age of convention. Whes J
was a girl organs were jo 'their Infancy.
A forrunner used to turn the rank, and a Jittle
monkey take the pennies. But now an organ
izer presides over the estimate, while the dea
con takes up tho constitution. Oh? yon
should hear the fellow perform one of his clo
sing volupturieB, when he pulls out all the
stopples, and plays on the pedlars base,so loud
as to jar the conflagration as they paps out of
their respectire places of abodement. "
1X5" 'Sambo, why am a locoxnotive hulgin
like a bed-bug 1 : - 3 - v,''r- " '
I gib dat up for you ax iv-' : r- .
r ;t run n slcpr?.
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