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Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, September 03, 1842, Image 1

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ti:his of tiik ami:kica.
HENRY B. MA8SER,? riniiMtMisg
.JOSErH EISEI.Y. SPaoranroas.
. it. n.1SSEIt Editor.
orriCC I MINKCT STkliKT, KtAR Dttn.
THE" AMERICAN" is published every Satur
day at TWO DOLLARS per annum to he
paid half yearly in advance. No paper di scon tin
Ut'd till all arrearages are paid.
No subscription received for a less period thnn
m months. Ail communication or letter on
business relating to the ollice, to insure attention,
Must be POST PAIL).
CJenlns and I.nvr.
. BT H. W, tOSnntLLOW.
Visions of Faroe! that once did visit me,
Making night glorious with your smile, where rc
Oh, who shall rito me, now that ye are gone,
Juices of those immortal plants that Mow
Upon Olyrnpu-, making us immortal !
Or tench me where that wondrous mandrake grows,
W hose magic root, torn from the earth with groans,
At midnight hour, can scare the fiends away,
And make the mind prolific in its fancies t
I have the wish, but want the will to act!
Souls of great men departed ! Ye who words
Have rome to light from the swift river of Time,
Like Romsn swords found in the Tagua' bed,
Where ia the strength to wield the arms ye bore !
From the barred visor of antiquity
RellerteJ shine the eternal I ght of Truth
As from a mirror. All the means of action
The shapeless masses the materials
Lie every where about us. What we need
Is the celestial firs to chance the flint
Into transparent chryslal, bright and clenr.
That fire is Genius! The rude pensant aits
At evening in his smoky cot, and draws
With charcoal uncouth figures on the wall,
The son ol Genius cornea, fn.-t sore with travel,
And lcg a shelter from the inclement night.
He takes the charcoal from the peasant's hand,
And by the magic, of bis touch at once
Transfigured, all its hidden virtues shine,
And in the eyes of the astonish'd clown
It gleams a diamond ! Even thus trmsform'J,
Rude popular traditions and old ies
Sbine as immortal poems at the touch
Of some poor hou-cless, homeless, wandering bard,
Who had but a nicht's lodging for his pains.
O there are blighter iltcims than those of Fame,
Which arc the dreams of Love ! Out of the heart
Rises the bright ideal of ibi'i dreams,
As from some woodland fount a spirit rises
Ard sinks ag iin into iu silent deeps,
Ere the enamor'd knight can touch her robe !
'T is tbe ideal that the soul of man.
Like the ennmoi'd knight bend.- the fountain,
Waits for upon the mrgin of Life's stream !
Walts to behold her rise from the dark waters,
Clad in a mortal shape ! Alas! how many
Must wait in vain. The stnam flows evermore.
Hut from its silent deeps no spirit rises !
Yet I, born under a propitious star,
Have found the bright ideal of mv dreims.
Ye! she is ever with me, I can feel,
Here, as I set at midnight and alone,
Her gentle breathing! on mv breast can fel
The pressure of her head! God's lnion
Rest ,er on it ! Close those beauteous eyes ;
Sweet Sleei ! and all the flowers that bloom at night
Wilb bliny lips breathe iii her ears my name.
IIcnriKn, a German poet, eelebratrd for the de
licacy and purity of his style, and thoentreme lieau
ty cf his conceptions, wrote the following when he
was only fifteen. It is equal in grace to Shelley :
To a Uiittrrfly,
Light and lovely thing of sky,
Butterfly !
Fluttering ever am il flowers,
Fed on buds and dewy showers,
(Flower thyself, or le af with wings!)
Say what lioger's rosy red
Thy lich colora bring.
Was't some svlph that o'er thee threw
Each bright hue !
Raised dice, from mo'tt's fragrant mist
Bade thee throtmh the dav eit 1
Ah beneath my finger p-esseJ,
Palpitate thy tiny If ait
Eyju to death disttrst.
Fly away poor soul ! and be
Gay and free !
Thus, no more a worm of earth
I shall one day flutter forth ;
And like tlx a thing of sir
Clothed in sweet and honeyed dews,
Euihcet flow' let share!
From the Democratic Jlcvictr.
It is still iiiore dangerous to say any tiling in
favor of, or even to do common justice to the
Emperor of Rust-in, whose character and fame
seem to be under the special and charitable
guardianship of British reviewers. It we be
lieve these, and some French and German
journn.li, the Emperor has not even the merit
of Byron's Corsair not 'one virtue' amid 'a
thousand crimes.' Under a military despotism
were absolute power not only exists in the
head, hut, of necessity, is delegated to fourteen
(Jovernors (toneral or Viceroys and more than
a hundred civil aud military l'rovinciul Gov
ernors, scattered over a vat empire, and far re
moved from the fountain of authority, a thou
sand cruel and atrocious wrongs must lie ex
pected. For while there are many wise and
just men among these Viceroy and (Jovernors,
(like Count de WoronzclV,) in so large a num
ber there must unavoidably be many tyrants,
fjr all whoso acts the Emperor is held respon
sible, whether lie hue any knowledge ol'theni
or not. Whatever British reviewers may say,
the Emjieror Nicholas in an extraordinary man,
and admirably fitted for his station, as the chief
in a military despotism. He is superior to hie
brother and predecessor, Alexander, In charac
ter ami mind, and especially in those stem
ipialilies so necessary to sustain a crown so of
ten undermined by treason His personal ap
pearance) awl deportment "re remarkable, arid
on nil occasions he is di.-tin;;uished for grace
and propriety, whether iu tho martial pomp of
a parade, on g'uvy occasions of fctale, or u-
Absolute ncquirsccnco j t)(, decisions of llic
ny Marr &, i:iclj.
midst the solemn Ceremonials of the Creek re
ligion. In his cltaanctcr ho unites .those cx
trcmef, eo frequently (oured in men accustomed
to military command or absolute power, of
gentleness and fiery impetuosity. The slight
est neglect or violation of military regulation,
instantly rouses his passions, and the repri
mand follows quickly, whether the offender lie
his brother, the Grand Duke, n major general,
or a subaltern. His conduct before and after
his coronation, exhibited rtrong traits of char
acter. Trior to the death of Alexander, at
Toganrok, Constantine had renounced his right
to the succession, and Alexander had sanctioned
the net.
These documents were scaled np and de
posited with the council of the Empire. When
intelligence was received at St. Petersburg of
the Emperor's death, Nicholas immediately
took the oath of allegiance to his brother, Con
stantine, required the army and all to do tito
same, and despatched a courier to his brother,
who ws then at Warsaw, announcing this in
telligence. The council of the Empire dis
closed the rcnunciution of Constantine ; but
Nicholas persisted in his allegiance. Two
days afler the Grand Duke Michael arrived at
Warsaw, with a second renunciation of Con
stantine in favor of Nicholas ; but the latter re
fused to accept it, and all the decrees were still
issued in thenanic of the former. At length,
seventeen days afterwards, he received an an
swer by his own courier, with Constantinc's
final abdication of the rrown. Not until then
did the Emperor consider the net of his brolher
in conformity to the fundamental law regulat
ing the succession, as the voluntary net of an
acknowledged sovoieign. But then occurred
the stormy scenes following his coronation,
when a conspiracy which had been maturing
ibr some time previous against Alexander, burst
upon his head. The conspirators availing them
selves of the fidelity of the Russians to their
oath, took the side of Constantino, to whom the
army had sworn allegiance, notwithstanding
his voluntary nbdiction. The Emperor Nicho
las displayed extraordinary promptitude and
courage in advancing to the revolting regi
ments and offering his life, if they desired it ;
and eqiitil forbearance in not permitting a can
non to be fired, until Milaiodovitch, a distin
guished officer in the campaign of 1842, was
shot down by his side. The events of that day
have had, no doubt a strong intluence on the
diameter und reign of the present Emperor;
and have given a higher tone of severity to his
conduct, as a military commander, and as the
chief of the secret police of his empire.
Many of the measures of this monarch ore
worthy of admiration. The literature of the
country has been much advanced during his
reign. Notwithstanding the censorship of the
press, there is a large and constant increase of
printing establishments in the country, aud more
than a thousand volumes are printed annually.
This is almost entirely the work of the present
century, and chiefly of his reign. He has pub
lished all the ukases, regulations, diplomas and
treaties since Hill), and declared them to be m
force since the first of January, lVt. Although
these form an incongruous mass, they arc use
ful for purposes of reform, aud the measure was
an important 6tep in the progress of law and
civilization in Russia. By his ukase of Febru
ary, ), the Emperor ordered the establish
ment of 4 KH primary schools on the crown
lands, on which there are some fourteen mil
lions of serfs. Another ukase of the 1st of
January, 1 -at), decreed that the crown lands
should be farmed out, and of the 'Jnd of No
vember ordered the execution of. this im
portant measure, on leases of 21 to (lb years,
which must eventually, to a considerable ex
tent, emancipate the certs of the crown. In
the present year, the Emperor has decided on
t'm construction of a railroad of five hundred
milen, from St l'etorsburg to Moscow, and has
employed Major Whist' o, one of our distinguish
ed engineers, to tiiporintend the work. These
are a few of tho muny measures adopted during
the present reign. It is but sheer justice to
the Ein;ieror Nicholas to say, thut he bus la
bored zealously, and has done more than any
of his predecessors, to enlighten und improve
the condition of the peasantry of Russia.
These humane, wise and just measures are,
however, looked tion with jealousy an! appre
hension by a portion of the ancient nobility,
who believe that every measure tending to en
lighten the serf undermines bis property and
authority. The Emperor perfectly compre
hends hi position. He knows he is surround
ed by a wealthy, powerful, and often discontent
ed aristocracy, ambitious of regulating the suc
cession to the crown, as they have done repeat
edly in past generations. He is admonished
by the example of his predecessor, that towards
them familiarity would bo folly concession
dangerous. While, therefore, his manner is
cordial to meritorious officers and those knowu
to be his friendi, he moves among his dissatis
fied, intriguing, and frequently conspiring no
bility, with the fclern majesty ui"u monarch.
majority, the vital principle of Republics, from which
SiiiilHiry, IVoiiliuiiibvrlaiKl Co.
One would naturally suppose that the hesd
of a military despotism would necessarily be a
sort of a prisoner in his own palace especially
one w Ito is so frequently denounced ns a cruel
tyrant, and against whom wc might suppose a
thousand daggers were ever ready to be drawn.
Or if such a monntfli ever passed the portals
of his palace, wo should suppose that he would
at least take the precaution of other monarch's
and appear surrounded by his attendants and
guards. It is not so, however, with the Em
peror Nicholas; whether walking, riding or
travelling, he is not attended by any, except
on some military occasion. His only guards
seem to bo a 'lion heart and an eagle eye ;' for,
fearless of danger, and conscious of his own
security, he sutlers no other guards to attend
him in his promenades or drives by day or
night. No one knows better than the Emper
or when to play the monarch, and when to dis
pense with majesty, He often visits lialls and
soirees nt the houses of the nobility, where there
e usually from two or three thousand persons
nssembled ; among whom he moves about con
versing fitmilinrly with many. He seldom suf
fers a masquerade to pass without being present
whether at the Theatre or the hall of the no
bility, anil no one engages in this amusement
more heartily or familiarly. His manner is
always adapted to the occasion. Indeed, had
his lot been the stage, he would have been the
Garrickof the day ; for he is equally success
ful, whether he nppenrs in foreign or grave
scenes. No monarch is seen so frequently a
niong bis subjects, or on so many and such
various occasions ; ami none in a more unpre
tending style. Scarcely a day in winter pass
es without his appearance in bin one-horse
sleigh. On his journeys he travels rapidly.
He usually makes the journey from St. Peters
burg to Moscow, 7.") I vorste, about ."HI miles,
in thirty-six hours, with post horses.
He is devoted in his attention to the Empress,
who is, and has been for years, an invalid. It
is said thnt her nerves were shattered by the
revolutionary scenes at the time of his corona
tion, from which shock she has never entirely
recovered. He frequently accompanies her
iu walks in the streets of Nt. Petersburg, or on
the English quay and in her rides, sometimes
driv iug in her barouche and acting as her
Extraordinary Tno-rnNo Match. Yes
terday afternoon n number of sporting noble
men nnd gentlemen assembled at the extensive
enclosure attached to the Rosemary Branch
Tavern, Peckham, for the purMse of witnes
sing the performance of an extraordinary match
a grey poney, of twelve hands nnd a half
high, the property of Mr. Burke, a gentleman
well known on the turf, being backed for JC"KI
to trot fourteen miles in one hour, ith a mon
key for its rider. The novelty of the atlair at
tracted, in addition to the betting men and roi--unset
nli in horse flesh, an immense assemblage
of spectators, including several ladies resident
in the neighborhood in their equipages. The
monkey of course was the "lion" of the day,
and according to the condition of the match, he
was to be liooted, spurred, and otherwise attired
after the fashion of the jockeys nl Epsom of
Newmarket, and was to ride the poney in the
usncl style, with saddle and bridle. The mon
key originally selected for the undertaking is
the property of a foreigner, but in consequence
of his making an attack on his owner, and
wounding him severely iu the arm,' it was dee
med prudent by Mr. Bruke lo obtain a substi
tute, and with that view Mr. Batty, the celebra
ted equestrian manager, was applied to for the
loan of one of his trained monkeys, and that
gentleman having selected 'Signor Jaeko, who
had already earned considerable reputation by
his performances in the circle, at the Surrey
and other metropolitan and provincial theatres,
at thcapoiuted timethe signor made his np
pearnneo, attended by one of llie rough riders
belonging to Mr. Butty's establishment. Me
was dressed a la Chiefney or .Scotch, his jack
et and buskins In-ing built at a very tine rate
West-end Schnt iilrr and his top boots would
have done honor even to the renowned Hoby.
The colors lie sported were reil and while, nnd
in his right paw he carried a handsome riding
whip, and also wore a small pair of spurs buck
led round his Itoots. The poney he was moun
ted on is a very fust trotter, but notwithstand
ing his performances, time was iu this instance
hacked at odds. After the arrangement of the
usual preliminaries, the start took place, Mr.
Burke and a gentleman, the friend of the party
who had taken the bet, canteiing on each side
of the pouey, with one or two others gallopping
in tho rear. He performetl the distance in lil-
ty-six minutes aud fifty-three seconds of the gi
ven tinio, consequently having three minutes
and seven seconds to spire, and was not at all
distrese'd. The si''nor rode in fiM rate style,
came in with his whip iu hi.4 mouth, und up-
peared quite conscious of his own merit ns an
equestrain. It is said that tins feat is nupiral
Iclid ill the annuls of the tuif.
there is no app. nl but to force, the vital principle
INi. Safiirthiy, M-pl. ti, is i-u
Unman HnerlArrs In liirlln.
Black wood's Magnxine tor August, contains a
notice of a paper recently published by' the
Royal Asiatic Society of liondon, written by
Capt. Macpherson of the Madras Army, and
giving some nccoiuit of tho Khoiips, one of the
three races that inhabit the territory which for
med the ancient Kingdom of Orrissn, They
are Polythetsts have nn hereditary priest
hoodare rigiil observers of veracity, nnd pre
serve in their religious worship and opinions
ninny of the distinctive but not most beautiful ;
features of the Grecian svstcm in the l'clasic I
period. They are almost the only people that
offer human sacrifices ; nnd of their festivals at
these horrid rites wc find the following ac- j
count from Capt Macphcrsoti's work :
"They arc generally attended by a large
concourse of people of both sexes, nnd con
tinue for three days, which are passed
in the indulgence of every form of gross
excess in more than Satanalinn license.
'The first day and night arc spent exclu
sively inilriuilif n feasting and obscene riot. Up
on the second morning, the victim, who has
fasted from the preceeding evening, is careful
ly washed, dressed in a new garment, and led
forth from the village in solemn procession,
villi music and dancing.
"The Merin grove, a club of deep and shad
owy forest trees'
'Uylvaalto Jovis, ucasque Diana-,'
in which the mango, the bur, the dninuiar, nnd
the pipalu generally prevail, usually stands at
a short distance from the hamlet, by n rivulet,
which isiallod t ic Meria stream. It is kept
sue red from the axe, anil is avoided by the
Kliond as haunted ground. My fid havers were
always warned tonhstain from seeking shelter
within its awful shade,
"In its centre, upon the second day, an it
right stake is fixed, generally between two
plants of the sankissnr or bazar danti shrub.
The victim is sealed at its foot, hound back to
it by the priest. He is then anointed with oil,
ghee and tuinerick, and adorned with flowers;
anil a spvviig ;' rvvcnvr, trliirh is not rasa
lo distinguish from nlorttl ion, is paid to him
throughout the day. And there is now infinite
contention to obtain the slightest relic of his
person ; a particle of the tumeric paste with
which he is smeared, or a drop of his i-piltle be
ing esteemed (especially by the women) of
supreme virtue.
"In s districts, instead of being tints
bound in a grove, the victim is exposed in or
noAr the village, ujion a couch, after being led
in procession round the place of meriliee. And
in some parts of ( iooiiisur where this practice j
prevails, small rude images ot beasts and birds
in chty are made in great numbers nt Huh festi
val, and stuck on poles; a practice, ot the ori
gin or meaning of which, I have Ihvii able to
obtain no satisfactory explanation.
"Ppon tin; third morning, the victim is re
freshed with a li'.tle milk and palmsaoo, while
the licentious feast, which has scarcely been
intermitted during the night, is loudly renew
ed. About noon, these orgies terminate, and
the assemblage issues forth, with stunning
shouts and pealing music, to consume the
"As the victim must not stiller hound, nor,
on the other html, exhibit any show uf resist
ance, the hones of his arms, and, if necessary,
those of his legs are now broken in several
"The acceptable place of sacrifice has liecn
discovered during the previous night, by per
sons sent out for this purpose into the fields of
the village, or of the privute oblntor. The
ground is probed in the dark with long sticks,
und the first deep chink that is pierced is con
sidered the spot indicated by the rnrtli-gm.
'llie rod is left standing in the enrtli, nnd in
the morning lour large posts are set up around
"The priest assisted by the nbbiya nnd
one or two of the elders of the village, now
takes the branch of a rrocii tree, which is cleft
ton distance of several feet down the centre;
they insert the victim within the rift, fitting it
in Kime districts to his chest, in osiers lo his
throat. Cords are then twisted round the open
extremity of the stake, which the priest, aided
by his assistants, strives with his whole force
toclose. He then wounds the victim slightly
with his axe, when the crowd throws itself up
on the sacrifice, and exclaiming, 'we bought
you with a price and no sin rests on us !' strips
the flesh from the bones. Each man bears his
bhssly shred to his field, and thence return
straight home. Next day all that remains of
the victim is burned up with a whole sheep on
a funeral pile, nnd the ashes are scattered over
the fields, or laid us paste over llie houses nnd
granaries ; and for three days after the sacrifice,
the inhabitants of the villije which afforded it
remain dumb. communicating w ith each other
only by sinns, nnd remaining unvisited by stran
gers. At the end of this time, a LutlMo ii
slaughtered at the place of saciifice, when
'tongues are loosened."
nlid imine.line parent of despotism. Jr.f rniisov.
vl. II l. I.IV.
A Mormon I'nuvrrl,
A tew tlays since, there wns n droll orking
individual in one of out public. lmr-rooui!s who
attracted ronsidrrMo attention tf relating
anecdotes of th" Mormons, among whom be
bad hern. At length, (tittered hy the niton--live
interest ot the bv-sta odors, he declared he
would give the whole history of the sect, from
the finding of the bible to the secession of Ben
net; and mnnntie.g one of the auctioneer's
stands, lie pulled of coat and liat and went to
wotk. It was just at lunch time and the specta
tors weie augmenting every moment. They
drew chairs in front of the eccentric spenker,
nnd quite a Itirgi and orderly audience soon
stirronnd'tl bitn. Wo shad rmt Pillow him
through tho w hole of his curious discourses but
shall give here the manner in which he said a
pair of the priests once set about converting
him. He was a man of about forty-five, with
regular and agreeable features, a mild and
somewhat humorous expression about the eye
and mouth, a well-shaped head, and hair thick
ly sprinkled with iron grey -by no means an
ordinary looking indiviitail. His dress was
peculiar, being of very old cut, and hanging
upon him with a sort of mock dignity very
turcica in eflect.
He said he happened once to come in con
tact with Dr. Scly and Robinson, a son-in-law
of Rigdon, somewhere upon l,akc Erie, wc
forget the exact location be named. They set
about converting him, and he pnid them the
most deferential attention, without saying a
word one way or the other. Finally he con
cluded to humor them and see what would
come of it, so he gravely nodded his head to all
they said, and looked unultrrahlij pious while
he renin ined ns mute ns a mrinso. They ac
cordingly proceeded to confer upon him the
gifts of raising the dead, restoring the blind,
curing the sick, straightening tho deformed,
reading aright the new bible, nnd vnrious other
powers only known now to the Latter Day
Saints. Tfis solemn process concluded, they
told him another important ceremony must im
mediately take place, and that was bis bap
tism ; they would go with him then to the river
and he should be confirmed at once an a Flint
and elder of the great Mormon Church, To
this he also good hutnoredly agreed, as the
horse and wagon in which he was trave'lin
stmsl reaily nt the door of the hotel, anil they
told him the river wns hut a mile distant. He
tisik )r. Seely and Robinson into his wagon
with loin, and off they drove.
After travelling briskly nearly a full hour
under direction f his now Mormon friends, he
becntno convinced some rascality was plotting,
as instead of a mile they could not have pro
ceeded less than four! They now entered a
suspicious looking road through a thick wood,
and here the doctor informed him that but one
thing more would bo necessary alter his bau
lisin, an tillering to the Church. Rut the con
vert declared ho hud nothing. Tho doctor in
ferred that the holy church was not proud and
would take the horse und wnggon. Thvy w ere
both borrowed from a kind friend and neigh
lsr. No matter; old rules anil friendships ami
laws must lie forgotten, for he was now ofthe
new and the only church. Hero they came in
view ofthe river, just as our hero concluded he
knew quite enough of Misrninnism I
Robinson and the doctor tied the horsr? to the
limb of an apple tree, and invited their convert
out to preps n tor holy baptism. The bank
was some forty or filly feet high and danger
ously precipitous, so that our hero suddenly
became greatly alarmed at the descent. The
water, too, he was sure was too deep, and he
couldn't swim a stroke. To convince him the
two Mormons instantly stripped olf nil their
clothes and descended into the Water, which
proved of very pleasant ami safe depth. Our
hero now had the gamei'i his ow n hands, and
considered it prudent to make lire of his ad
vantage with all possible speed. Hastily un
hitching tho horse while the doctor was culling
to linn to come down, he threw tho clothes of
the two Mormons into the wagon, jumped in
after I hem und exclaiming, 'Doctor, 1 rAi
I'll iral.r that ofl'i I lug to thr chun k hifore the
dueling 1' he drove off furiously to the hotel,
threw the clothes to the landlord ns a church
Hjjiiingi nnd rapidly disappeared Upon his
journey! How Robinson nnd Seely got home
our quizzical informant left to the imaginative
sympathies of his delighted hearers. A O.
M iller, the doomsday mailt still keeps togeUi
er a host of silly people, who verily belive that
the '-'Id of next April is to complete the history
of this world. One of the prophet's disciples
actually held, for two hours on Monday last,
one thousuiiil people listening to a harangue on
the certainty ol this early consummation of all
things. We think it would be well if some
new prophet would arise, who would condescend
to put off the event for a hundred year Per
haps Miller's congregation might thereby be
thinned, and some worthy folks saved from a
residence in the Insane Asylum.
Pitinx ov Avr:uTisi(2
t square insertion, fift
I do 2 tlo .0 75
1 rto 3 do 1 00
Rvery suWaflent InseYti.Ti, 0 25
YcaHy Advertisements, with the rfteviicge of
alteration) one column $ 25 ; hslf column, $18,
three squares, $12; two squares, ft); otve square,
fo. Without tiro fir Mtegrs of alteration a liberal
discount will Iks made.
Advertisements left without directions ns to the
lenqth of lime they are to bv ptriSlishrrl, 'Will be
continued until ordered etrt, and chatgej iccord
inp.lv. Cjrf-'iVteen fines make a square.
'' rimom ."HA" I !
Matrimonial Mnilms.
Someofder renders ate married, some are
not, some intend to bo, and some pfobiebly ne
ver will be. So to necominndate all round, we
offer them a few maxims, some ef which
may be oscftik, bU if not, Xhcy ran tlo no
If ynnr object is to lie happy, tlo not mnTry a
rich woman withorft rnm, or a lady rrf rank
without riches ; the former will taunt yort with
ho poverty yon experienced before marriage,
nnd the latter will tatiirtyoti with the poverty
yof! feel aftcT.
If, during crwtship, yo". discowt what
strikes you as a little fault in Mie dtspns;nron or
Conduct nfyout fufr one, he off as if from a
mine, to which the match is about to toe applied,
ft the vvcddmgTing magnifies faults, as winch
ns I lerschel's telescope magnified plnnets.
ifyotir wife ro srircd with a violent fit of
kindness, ho very careful what promises you
make while it lasts,
ie who pronounces "obey'" most audibly be
fore the parson, will lie most nudihro in making
you obey afterwards.
If you find your borne uncomfortable-, &o not
try to make 'it hotter that is not your ponvsc;
go out every night tor a week ; be sore to bo
in good humor when you come home, and
before the tvee'kis ox er, it willf ithcr "belter or
If you follow your wife's Volnntary edvice,
you have a chance of doing wdl : when you ask
her for it, it is not Mf so good.
Ff yum wife be jealous, be suretoTomp with
every lady you meet when in tympany tint ne
ver use any familiarity with a lady of rank
lower than her own.
If yon are in busmen and ennrr got your
breakfast cnHy enough, walk ont without aay
ing a word ; breakfast as heartily as you can
at a public iiotme.ftnd let your bills be sent
home to your wife.
If yo woidd live comfortah1y,nl ways wins
tie or laugh white your wife is scolding.
ff your wire boasts mttch xf her relations,
praise them, but mist them little as you
If your wife gets into a passion take your
self otf without ttying to pacify her J a man,
v, ho exposes himseif to a storm, gets pelted,
while the storm is never the bhorter, or the
less severe.
flHi:T i'mt'sTCMN Match adaivst Time t
A Tho usaml Mile in a Thousand Jloursl
Mr. Thomns El worth, late of the city ol'St. Isou
is, but a Yankee by birth, was back.nl to walk a
thousand mites in a tliu'iand successful hours
that is, a mile each hour. Tins tent will occu
py forty-one days und lti hours. The in itch
comes olf on the rice course rvlj '.! 'g Mr.
Toiler's hotel, Cambridge. The instance
round which is one mile T rods, so that if Mr. E.
uccomplisJu his feat ho will have walked 101
mileaL'MI rods. There ishut one instance oil
record of u person having performed tins task,
and this i the celebrated Cupt.un Rarcluy,
who was, we believe, pretty es-cutially used
up by the performance Boston Timc$.
A Woman' Reasons. A woman's reason
are said to be three: they are past, present and
to como, ami are as follows: 'Because I did1
'Because I will' and 'Because t should likfl.
The first it is impossible to get over : the se
cond is almost a hopeless case ; and a man must
!e a brute indeed if he can for a moment ob
ject to the third. Then the way in which
they bring these reasons to bear is every thing.
A man would knit his brows surlily and
say, in a deep repulsive voice, if he liked not
the first interrogation, 'because I did I' Not
so with a woman she would put on one of lief
sweeter louks nnd, half ttniling, say, 'Why
my dear, because I did ; and you know my lovd
that's a woman's reason for every thing.'
To the second, a ninn would reply, 'BecaOSO
I will ; and if I don't why,' and he would bd
within a bhade of swearing. But a woman
would nbake her pretty little head, and say,
Because I will ( and you know my darling,
when I say a thing I always do it J and I never
tlo otherwise thnn please you, do I, my love 1
As to the third, it does every thing ; tor who
; can remse them 'whut they would like.' True
, enough, it bus brought many a man to the
j gallows; yet whoever could grumble at sj
trilling a trial J a thing that can but 'happen
once in a man a life, when it shows Ins attach
ment to the sex 1
' A (lethinn writer observes, in a late volume
on the social condition of (ireat Britain, that
there is such a scarcity of thieves in England
that the liovernment is obliged to offer a re
ward fur their discovery !
A iUnSi BJRcT rou Mrsmkhihm. The boy
front the Union house, on whom Dr. Taylor
failed to produce any mesmeric ettect, whilt
lecturing in JWton, on Wednesday evening,
being asked why bedid'nt goto sleep, shrewd
ly answered, "because I hud'nt got my supper 1
Stamford .Utrcury.

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