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II. II. MASSf.R, 7 pL'nt.ltHKRI JOSEPH EISKLY. S PnorniTB. it. It. .VJSSKtf, lUUtor. OJlct in Cuiui;liUy,in Uiriiirvf Ii. B. Xtmh scr' Store. THE AM EllICAN'M published every Satur day at TWO DOLLARS per annum to be paid half yearly in advance. No payer discontin ued till all airoaiages am paid. No subscription received for a less period than aix months. All communications or lotlcis on business relating lo the otl'n c, to insure attention, mint be POST PAID. SUNK URY AMERICAN. AND SIIAMOKIN JOURNAL; ruitn of Aitvr.KTiMisw. I apiars t ii.pii(,n, 0 M I da 1 ilo . . . o 71 I do 3 do - . . . 1 0 Mjry aubtf .uent in-eiii. n, - - . 0 C Yearly Admtiseinenla : one column, H5 ; Imlf column, 19, three, squares, 1 1 3 i two rjuaren, 11 one square, fS. Half-yearly: ono onlumu, J I S , half column, IJ ; Ibres f quaies, f3 , two f5( ona square, f J AO. Advertinements left without dirrctiona aa Ii it length of lime thav are lo be pcblinhed, will l continued until ordered out, and chaiged aoc'1 innly. CtJfSiitleen line mak a aquaro. 1 b Yankee In Main Street. 'I calculate I couldn't drive a trade with you to-day,' said a true specimen of the Yankee ped lar, as he stood at the door of a merchant in Main street. 'I calculate ya'.i calculate about right for you cannot,' vallie sneering reply. Will' I guess you needn't get huffy ah.-rit it: Now here's a dozen real genuine raz r elroi'S, Absolute acquiescence in the decisions of the mnjotity, (ho vita) principle of Republic, fiom which there u no appeal but to force, the viul principle an. I immediate patent of despotism. Jirrr.nso. Simbury, lYortliimilHilnud Co. I'a. Saturday, Oct. 29, ISiS. I'd. 4--Xo. 5Wliola IVo. 101. mm ttmMiifrw o rt Rrnt I it All T 1 I ii k a . rROM T1IK OKHMAX. fiolden evrninu, rnsv mnrnincr, CirnciiHii One! have their adorning From thy hand, which framrd all. IVotning is despi-cd before thee, ITen the leapt is lunched with cbry Thou regarded great and Miiidl. To the lion food limn scnJelh, And thy gracious ear alien h Vh, When the nven nestlings cry. Thou the floweret's grace bestovveih, E'en thy humblest working idiowclh Boundless might and majesty. By all knowledge nninciimbe'eJ, Thou otir pinna nr.d tear hast numbered, !mrd of rhihlhnod'a we ik estiite ; Widows, n-plnna. ha-t thou cherished, llearil ihe bondiin'n whi n they peii-hol; Thus art ihou in nil things threat ! Care of Frnlt Trees. This month is esteemed by many as favor able for pruning as any of t!ie pruning months. The spring and winter are regarded as the least favorable. It should be generally understood that good large fair fruit cannot be had without the most tliligcnl cullitnlion. The ground should be care fully stirred around every fruit tree, and a tout on ciglh pr.rt of a common bucket of good rurpr.st placed about each large tree this foil, rnd in view of the groat number of facts dis closed in rcl.ilien to the edict of salt and salt petre, we cannot withho'd our belief that these articles in a lm.it.l oinntitv, should be constitti. cuts of this compo.-t, together with alkaline isub- Ft.inccs. Kvery farmer hhould give as much j iittentioi) to his orchard, us the cultivation of his corn or any other cmp on the farm as hv so doing, he will derive a ; route, profit from i his" labor. ! M'c generally prune our trees the last 0f i May or during "the month of June, but if we fail ! of time to complete the business, we do not j hesitate to do it any season of the year. Tlie i excess of this year's growth we took in August. ! Afti rwehave placed the manure about our j trees, we give it a slight covering of loam to prevent waste from evaporation. One single ! tree thus carefully cultivated, w i',1 produce more ' thanix trees ofliie .-amo Mud, k:l to lake care i'-!' t!ie:nj.'l e. j Moct former i in the country entirely neglect the cultivation of tie ir orchard and abandon their tre.'a'o the tender mercies of insects, and ii ... i to sncu sifiioer H.ppori as u,ey may Heme ; . .. .. .... ... ; iiom tlie tiiiawie,! toil. Wliat would beeotne .... . . , ot I heir other crops if treated in this way 7 Itu assured, nothing pays better for the most ' careful and diligent cultivation than fruit trees. ' Wuhnut it you have e ery limited ;uantity of ! ! men;: and worm eaten fruit nut lia.l'ol'.t lit j fur tho market, or v. iutei's use. j Do not let the youeg trees which you trans- j pl.intcd last Miring about your lots, be browsed . by your cittle take good care uf them ma nure them well, and you will find your reward. We reeo.-iimend, then, far more diligent cul- ! tivation of your orchards. These arc some of the sources from which you are to derive the most money from the leatt labor. Huston Tmidltr. ' Tin I.ntrxC luvrjiltoil. An undertaker in New York has invented a coffin which he gives the title of life-preserving cuf tin, singular and contradictory in terms as it is. The New York correspondent of the Na tional Intelligencer says : "The 'Lifc-prcsrrv-'.'.'',', seems to be the focus of curiu.Vtty l.i the Fair ot the Institute. It is ?o CorutJcl Cu ,,s to fly open wilh the least tt' ft i 1 . e occupant, ami ma.teas co.iu-,tlJy.., ,h; as it-intended for a .eiujiorary , edging. The proprietor rc co'ii.neti'.,. h;ltl mdced, it would be ureless ! without) a corresponding facility of exit ironi ( the vault, and arrangements for privacy, light, and fresh air in short, nil ifnt would be agree able to the rccanznt on first waking" Tiie writer states that "asphyxia, or a sus pension of life, with all the appearance of death, is certified to in many instances, and carefully provided for in some countries." "In Fruiik fort, Germany, (say tho writer.) the dead man is laid in a well aired room and his hand fasten ed for three days tn a bell-pull. The Romans cut ofl one cf the fingers before burning the corpse or otherwi.-e bestowing it out of sight. Tho 'Egyptiuns made sure by embalming, and other nations by frequent washing and anoint ing. Medical books say we should wait at least three days in winter and tvto in summer, before interring the body. It lias been suggested that there should be a public officer who should carefully examine the body and give a certifi cate, whithout which the burial should be ille gal." Philadelphia lAgtr. A sensitive man is 6aid to feel worse after a f ersonal quarrel, than after pir.ehinf his fpgera ir; the track of a doer Taking the renin In Alnhnttia, BY "A CHICKEN m an" or IS 10. Below will bo fou n J another of those amus- I iug skciciips, several or wiuc:i we nave nirea- : . t. .. .1 i . i i . , i ) dy published. It exhibits the gnrulity of one of ' the descendants of mother Kve in a truly stnk I ing light, and from what v. c know of old women generally, we havo no doubt but the picture is corrrctly drawn : Our next encounter was with nn old lady no. ''"J "" ' toriousin her neighborhood, for her gnrulity i, I , i , , , , . , t aim cnuii; iiniiuc-iiurB.'. iicr ioiu!icny hiiuw no bounds; it was constant unremitting, inter ; iiiinnble, nnd sometimes lausiliably silly. She was interested in quite a large Chancery suit : which had been dragging its slow length along . . , , c 1 i i i i versational fund, which she drew upon exten- ' ' . , , ., ., . . .w. . v . u , , v i . , m.i . ,i. m ton u nun R Lull" Diicir, uuiu r uiu uiL-ii mm 113 ineriis cotl u , rr ,i r i n L i never be sufficiently discussed. Having been , r, . ,. . , warned of her propensity, and being somewhat I . ... ,. , , , I hurried when we calied upon her, wo were dis- ,, ... , , posed to gel through business as i-oon as possi- j ble, and without hearing her enumeration oft ,. , , ci i the strong points of her law case, binding in- ' to the house, and drawing our pipers Ah, well ! yes! bless your aotil, honey take a seat. NW do ! Are you the gentleman that Mr. Van Curen has sent out to take the eensis ! I wonder! well good Lord look down, how was Mr. Van Ruren and family when you seed him ! We explained that we had never seen the , President; didn't know him from a side of sole I leather; and we hud been written to, to take the census. Well, now thar agin! Ivc your aoul! Well, I 'spose Mr. Van Buren writ you a let- lor. ,11,1 l.n 1 Wo 11 f .., r,f I.:- . . . , ' . ,' ' ' 1 41 t. 1 ,.,i,. nil rr ruill .1 CM, VJUtt , my be praised, there' mighty little hero to take down times is hard, God's will be done, but looks like people can't git thar jest rights in this country and the law is all for the rich and "u,ie ,or ,lin I,,,or PnlifC ti,e I'm'1- J)id you ' . ; pvcr 'irrir tc" ' ',al case IV'.V n.rs n,s "S'n i oM i5imPSu" ! I'ks like they never will git ,0 ,hi; crml 1,11 i; ?;ry to ' The : tl,iItlrcn '-vi!1 l' misLtily nfeard Lord Kivc "s erne. Did you ever sec Judge rt ? , Vt!i ! Wcl1 t,,u IxirJ preserve us! Did you . cvcr hear llim 6ny vv!iat lie was "ffwinc to do in ' ti,e bo.v,i' case nP'" oA Simpson J No! Good j 'oni- wc!l, Vquirc will yuu ax him next j ,;"IC J'u !iec ''. ! write me word, and tell j w ll,it 1 sa' J'"' '''!''' but a poor widow ' and my b.iys has got no lnrnin, and old Sinip- ' tl0n '" '-'1" '" mighty hard case on my , boys any how. They onuht to ha' had a mighty Plnrl n!'"n c,n tl" Wsi you, that U ....... I :;l -ii. . . " " - J u"11 " , 1..... ..i... .. ..I. .....I. I.i ' ' "J " 1 ,tl ' " ln'"-v i 1 1 - ! 11 1 .. ..... I . ,IJ,U tdet' l"- "S""1 nevei 10 a ueen 'n'l,c ,nl ll)n' wc iwA and told the old lady that 0,,r til, c w-" precious, that we w ished to take (!"wn ,,IP l"lll"-,r "flier family, and the pro.Liee rai-Cl' l'-v !i, r yo:ir. 'l off. A;cr a good (!-al of trouble we got through with the descrip- lions nl the men. hers o! her family and the !a I tistical table as far as the article of clt!i. How many yards of cotton cloth did you weave in lc10, ma'am! Well now! The Lord have mercy ! Lets see. You know Sally Iliggins that used to live down in the Smith Settlement ! poor thing, her i daddy druv her off on the 'count ol her havin a j little 'un, poor creature poor gal, she couldn't help it, I dare say. Well Sally come to st.iv ' 'long 'wi me when the old man druv l-cr ttWav and the was a poweiful g.-o.l 'liamj t0 ,v, and I did think she'd h.p U1C a pj.vrr wdl arter she'd I '' her,. ,.,,., v..,t. i ., ,.,t. i si' -., and o'.rj Miss Stringer she undcrtuk to help , '" ut !lor 1"uitis' mating 0 dir. and confusion : she's a powerful good l.and-old Miss Strin- llosl'lilPr indescribable. The old lady seem ' ger, on roots and yearbs and sid, like. Well, i l-J flighted thus to exhibit her leathered stock the Lord leok down from ubovo ! She made a j a "ice aint ,l,cy- P'1- 15ut 8,1C I sort cf a tea, as 1 was svin, nnd she gin it to j ,lcvrr woulJ vvl,at lhcy xvtre woMl, no Pcr' r -- lll- l ..! '. 1. - - - - U.. Illl. , 111.1 LIU,', lilt. IIJV Sally's baby but it got wuss the poor creetur and bhc gin it ten, a::d gin it tea, and looked ! like, the more she gin it tea, the more j ! My dear madam, I'm in a hurry pleaso tell j i me how many yards cf cotton cloth you wove in i I" t0 ! I want to get thro' with you and go on. j Well, well, the IxrJ have mercy who'd a thought you'd a bin no snappish. Well, as I was a sayin, Sal's child, hit kept a gittin wuss, and old Miss Stringer, he kept a given it the ycarb tea till at last the child hit looked like hit would die any how. And 'bout the time the child was at its wust, old Daddy Sykcs ho come along, and he said if we'd git some night shed berries and stew 'em with a little cream and somo hog's lard now old Daddy Sykcs is a mighty fine old man, and he gin the boys a heap of mighty good counsel about tho case boys says he, I'll tell yeu what you do you go In God's name, r.U lady, said we, tell about your cloth, and let the nick child and Miss Stringer, Daddy Sykee, the boys, and the law suit go to t he devil. I'm in a hurry. Gracious bless your dear soul, don't git f grawated I w jist a tellin ycu he- it feme I diJn't wtave rif cVth last year Oh well, you didn't weave any cloth list year. Good, we'll go on to the next article. Yes, yon see tho child hit begun to sw ell and turn yaller, and hit kept a ro'.lin' its eyca and a monnen, and I known! Never mind about the child just tell nie the value of the poultry you raised la.st year. Oh, well, yes, the chickens you mean. Why the Lord luve your poor soul, I reckon you never .ti i i.... . ... , ' J, ,7 T r ,creBlur ,nve uit mtn uut i uiu aim toons iikc wo never shall have good luck agin forever eence old Simpson took that case up to the Chancery ! I'nnd . ....... j Never mind the case lets hear about the j chickens if you pler.se. vion uiess you, nonev, me cv s uestmyed in , , . , , . . . and about tho best ballot what I did raise. I , , r., .. 1 1 i . ., , , . , ,, Every blessed night the Lord sent, they'd come ,., ,t . . ., , , , . and set on the comb of the house , and hoo hco , . , . ,. . ,. ,, . , ''Oft nu eue night in particklar, I remember I . ... , . I'a'ljst got up to the night ahod salvo to mute t)e jjtte p.,, w;tj, ... . . , , U ell, Well what was the value of what ... , . j The Lord above look down. They got so bad j the owls did that they tuk the old hens as well 8 the young chickens. The night 1 was tellin 'bout, 1 heHrn somethin snuall, smiall, and says 1, I'll bet that's old Speck that nasty audacious owl's got, for I seen her go to roost with her chickens, up in the plum tree, fornrnst the smoke house. So I went to whar old Miss Stringer was slerpin, and says I Miss Stringer Oh Miss Stringer, mre'u you're born, that stinkin' owl's got old Speck out'n the plum tree. " " -' ' ,,J 1 " her side like, and fays she : what did you say, Mr?. Stokes ! and says I We began to get tired, and signified the same to the old lady, and begged she would answer us directly and without circumlocution. 'I'llO f jifil A.li,in1itv Inl'O Vrtlir jlnnr l.nar , , . , , . , . , , . ., honey, 1 m telnn you as fast as 1 km. 1 he owls they got wuj- and wuss, after they'd swept old Speck and all her gang, they went to work on 'tolhers and Dryant, (that's one of my beys,) he 'lowed he'd shoot the pestersnme rreetures and so one niyht arter tiiat, we hearn one holler, and Bryant he tuk the old niiiskct and went out, and sure enough, there was owley, as he thought a settiti on the comb of the house, so ho blazed away and di.wn come what on ai rlli did come down do you reck on when Bryant ! The owl, I suppose. No eich a thing, no sirh thing, the owl warn"t thar. Twos my old hotirc cat come temblin down down, spittin and seracthiu, and tho fur a 1 ' tlyiu every time she iumntliko you'd a bu.st.d J J J a feather bed ouen ' Bryant h said, the way j lie come to shoot the cat instead of the owl, he i t'lJ something white j 1'or heaven's sake, Mrs. Stokes, give mo Ihe j value of your oultry, or ay jeu will net. Do ( one thing or Ihe other. Oh well, dear love your heart, I reckon I hud r.ibt year nigh about the same as I've got this. Then tell me how many dollars worth you have now, nnd the thing's settled. I'll lot you see for yourself, said tho idov ciokcs-, ami taKtng an car ol corn out ot a crack between the logs of the cabin, hud tiit !in.' off ' l,.r ,,!f.. I , ... " scar.er.ng the grams !"' tir rather screeching ' ' ch':'K e'ikk' ' chiekec, cliickec. ilere they cme, roosters and liens , ;nd pu'.icts, little chicks crowing, cackling, chirping, Hying and fluttering over beds, chair and tables, alighting on the old woman head and rhoulders, fluttering oguiust her tides, pick- suasion could bring Iier to the point and our papers at Washington contain iio estimate of the value of the widow Stokes poultry, though as she said herself she had a mighty nice pas tel. Wiiat'k in a Nami:? A raw Irishman in the employ of our friend, Fenimore Cooper, at Coopertown, was sent by him a few daya since to the Post-fiff.ce for letters. On receiving those for Mr. Cooper, he inquired if there were any letters for the "jintleman who was staying at tho hall, Mr. Brickbat." The postmaster, after looking carefully through, Baid that there were none, and asked him if he was certain that was Ins the name, lie protested vehemently that it certainly was, as he was charged partic ularly to recollect it A friend of Mr. Cooper's pasting the office at the moment, ','ne postmas ter inquired of him w hat geryi'ieniou were visi ting Mr. Cooper. He replied that he knew of no one, ixcepl Cupt. Shubrick. "Och!" cried Patrick, 'Act's th nana ; but, faith, didn't J one neer it, though. N. Y. Tribune. Never tread on the tail of a cat, or tell a wo man ihe is rot hfir.:Lco, unlets you are fond of netr-ftc. The Copper ttock. of I.nke Superior. This remarkable specimen of nati ve copper has recently been removed from its original lo cality on the Ontonagon river, at no small ex pense, fo Detroit, Michigan. Its greatest length is four fertsix inches; its great"st width f.boiit four feet ; iU maximum thickness eighteen inches. It is almo-t entirely composed of malleable copper. It has been generally es timated to weigh between six and seven thou sand pounds, or about three and a half tons, and is, by fur, the largest known and described spe. cimcn of native copper on the globe. Mr. J. K'dred, who has ,-eeured this treasure, has been engaged in its removal sine last June. He succeeded in removing it from its diluvial bed, on the banks of the river, by a car and sectional railroad of two links, formed of timber. The motive power was a tackle attached to trees, which was worked by men, from 11 to 'JO ot whom were employed upon it. These rails were alternately moved forward, as the car passed from the hindmost. In this manner the rock was dragged four miles and a half, across a rough country, to the river, where it was re ceived by a boat and taken to Detroit, a distance of neatly one thousand miles. Mr. Schoolcraft, the geologist, says it is clearly a boulder, and bears marks of attrition from the action of wa ter, on some parts of its rocky surface as well as the metallic portions. Philadelphia Ledger Toaptkm. We find the origin of this term, so much in vopue at the present day, given in Chambcr'd Ediuburg Journal, as follows: "A great personage, wishing to get quit of a troublesome hangrr-on, causrd a dish of toad to be serve d up one ilny ii.st ;,d of a dish of fish. The invention was seen ; but tha dependent knew too well the value cf the connexion which lie had established, to tike the hint. He par teifik of the toads w ith nil the appearance of re lish, never letting it b presumed tkat ho thought them anything Lot good soles. There fore, any one w ho wa,. content to live on the bounty of another, at the expanse of a few oc casional insults, ws said to eat that person's touds to be, in short, a toad ester. Tim Prayer or a Misrn. Among many curious papers fi.und after ihe decease of John Ward, member of tho British Parliament fir Hackney, there was one in hia own hand wri- tinrr, of which the following is a copy. It is admirable satire, and we commend it to certain persons, who must be nnmeleas : "Oh, Loid, thou knowett that I have nine houses in the city of London, and likewise that I hhve lately purchased an estate in fee-simple, in the county of F.ssex ; 1 beseech thee to pre serve the counties of Middlesex ami Essex from tire and earthr(nukc3 ; and as I have a mortgage in Hertfordshire, I bog of thee like wise to have an eve of compassion on that coun ty ; and for the rest of the counties t;,oa rnavat .1 ml ..a ...... ..I.,..,.. I V. T ...... 1 II. .1 , , . ... v.i piuTO. v .u, j.i.iu, I'nauio x lie uanii to answer all their bills, d make all my debt- ors good men. Giv; me a prosperous voyage and return to tho Merrmid sloop, becau.'e I insured i ; and a thou hast suid that the day of tho v.ieked are but short, 1 trust in thee i'nou wilt not t'.rget the promi-e, ia I havo pur chased an es'ate in reversion, which will be mine on the death of that profligate young unn Sir J L . Keep my friends from sink ing, and preserve me from thieves and hou.-e breaker.', and muke ail my servants so honest urn! faithful, that they may attend to my inter est anJ never cheat me out ufiny property night or day." Gi.orok III. It is ?uid the King, alter the close of the American Revolutionary war, or dered a thanksgiving to bo kept through the I'nited Kingdom. A noble Scutch divine, in the presence of his majesty, inquired, "for whit nro we to give (hunks, that your majesty has lot thirteen of his boU provinces!" The King answered, "No !" "Is it then (the divine ndd e.l) that your majesty has lost lU0,00v" lives of your subjects in the contest !" ".No, no !" said the King. "Ij it then, that we have expended and lost a hundred millions of money, and for tho detest jind tarnishing of your majesty's arm's 1" "No bucIi thing !" said the King, plea santly. "What then is the object of the thanks giving 1" uVh, "tie IhnJiKs that it is no worst !'' Iri?h Bcavtv. A travelling correspondent of the N. Y. Tribune, gives the follo wing do fcription of Irish beauty ; I v.i'ji mcrilu'ii timt the South of tre'and is ianious for itj female beauty, which is distin guished by a roued plum luce, lily-white com plexion, cheeks like damask roc, large and soil grey eyes, veded by long lawies and arch ed over by darkly penciled brows, waving glos sy hair of a purplish black, pointing carnation lip, curved l.ko Cupid's Uw, and a tent but. magnifi- 'My dear, you snore V said a lady to her wor ser half. 'I knows it,' was the Income reply. To it w.se - Dm svt tea. Cnolncaa mid Courage. On the Kecne musterfield, while the troop were passing in review bofore General Mc Neil, a stranger passed through the crowd and saluted tho General, who instantly recognized him a an old companion in arms. The stranger was Colonel Crawford, of Put ney, Vt., General McNeil'sadjutant at the bat tles of Chippewa and Bridgcwater. After General McNeil returned to his tpisr-! worth two dollars and a half you may have tors, he told the following anecdote of Craw- 'cm for two dollars.' ford : j 'I tell you, I don't want any of your trash , "While the 1 Ith regiment was advancing, I j so you had better be going.' stood a moment near to Crawford, giving him 'Wal,' now, I declare ! I'll bet you five dol orders, when a ninsket ball fiom the enemy ' lars if yon make me an offer for them are strops passed through his hat, and tore up a handker- i chief which was stowed in the ton. Without minding it at all, or changing his countenance to the least, Crawford cooly p:eked up the shat tered handkerchief, and replaced it on his head, remarking with a smile, 'We will save the pie ces ;' and darted away in the face of the foe, to carry his orders.' It is well known that ai Toulon, at the out set of Napoleon's military career, ho had occa sion for a short despatch to be drawn up on the field. Some one was called for who could write ; and a drummer came forward out of the ranks, and executed the writing. While it was not yet dry, a cannon ball from the ene my struck so near the drummer aa to throw some earth upon the paper. It will save the necessity of sand, General,' observed the drummer, cooly. Bonaparte, was so struck with the bravery of the man, that he singled him out from the ranks, and promoted him step by step toa field-marshal of France. Yet we do net seethit tho courage and cool ness of the Frenchman was stall superior to what was produced in Yankee land, and exhi ted on an American battle-field by Colonel Crawford, of Putney. iVne (.V. .) R'pub. A western paper eays, innnobitimy notice, that "He had also been for several years a di rector in a bank; notwithstanding which, he lived and died a christian, universally respec ted." The Boston Bee says, "we can hardly credit it " The Bostr.n Post say a man ought to bo asha med of himself to run away with another man's wife, when there are so many maidens with their trunks all picked rady foraslait. Reoi lahlv vsed it. A poor editor out west thuo makes hia exit : "Dear readers, with this pipor ceases the existence of the 'Ohio.' Our number is full and complete, and we are a 'busted establishment.' Wo shall gather up our coat end boots, shave off our whiskers, dun a few interesting specimens of 'patrons' that will pay in promises and then wo ere going for to go to some other field of operation. It may not be oiirr extended, but it cannot be 1 ie. Davidson the o?rostat man, proposes to fly. nrnviiliotr artttin rrmttltMiliii wilt n.A';inrn him l t t. - f.vc hundred dollars. Who wants to see the experiment tried ! Aurora. No doubt of it ; there are a good many more who would be equally ready to fly, if any one would cdvaiwe them isY0, and who are just as anxious to havo the experiment tried. Saturday Museum. Among tho exhibitions at the fair of the A i.ieiican Institute, in New York, on Thursday, was a poor drunkard vho had been persuaded mid hired by the promise of a dollar, to show himself off ao the handiwork of the rumseller. It must have been a beautiful sight for (lie la dies ! Old Age. Socrates learned to play on mu sical instruments in liio old age : Cato, ot eigh ty, learned Greek : Plutarch, at about the same age, studied Latin, and Franklin learned to speak French towards tho close of life. Boyck. Boyce, whose poem on Creation ranl.s high in the poetical scale, was absolutely famished to death, and was found in a garret, wiih a blanket thrown ever his shouldare fasten ed with a skewer, and a pen in h'.a hand. Driskino Healths. Lord Bacon, on being tsled to drink the King's health, replied that he isomLI drink for his own health and pray for that cf the King. Cesar. When Csar was advised by his frien la to be more cautious as to the security of his person, and not to wa'k amon? the peo ple without arms or sny ona to protect him, he replied "He who lives in the fear of death, every moment feels its tortures ; I will die but once." Rrusa Pabiiom. Henry Beaufort, cardinal of Winchester, who was extremely rich, cried oot upon hi d-ath-bed, "Will not death be hi red 1 Will money do nothing! Must I die, mat have such gr. at riches ! If tho whole realm of England would save my lite, I am uble, ei- ' ther by pohey t pel it, u by i;er.e te Vuy it " we 11 have a trade yet.' 'Done !' replied the merchant, placing the money in the hands of a bystander. The Yan kee deposited the like sum when tho mer chant offered him a Picayune for tho strops. 'They're yotirn,' said the Yankee, as ho qui etly fobb'J the stakes. But,' ho added, with great apparent honesty, 'I calculate a joke's a joke and if you don't want them strop, I'll trade back.' The merchant's countenance brightened. 'You are net so bad a chap, after all ; here aro your strops, give me the money.' 'There it is,' said tho Yankee, aa ho received the strnps and passed over the Picayune. 'A trade's a trade and now your wide awake in earnest, T guess the next time you trade with that are pic you'll do a little better than ti buy razor strops.' And away walked the pedlar with his strop and wager, amid the shouts of the laub'.njj crowd. Sf. Louis Arial. RrvoT.t-Tio.sARV. One day in the middle of winter, General Greene, when passing asonti nel who was barefoo'ed, said, "I fear, my good fellow, yon suffer much from tho severe cold." "Very much," was the reply, "but I do not com plain. I know I should fare better had our ge neral the mean of getting supplies. They say, however, thst in a few days we shall hare a fight, and then I rhall take care to secure a. pair of slices." Law. Home Tooko used to ssy that law :,i his opinion, ought not to bo a luxury for t:i rich, but a remedy for the poor. When tuld that the courts ot justice were open to ail, he replied "So is the London Tavern to such as can pay for entertainment." A remarkable phenomena occurred recently en the Brighton railway, Eig. A gentltnuii and lady were silling opposite each other, th' lady having a piece of cour'plaster on he; lip. On emerging from one of the ddik tu:i:.el-, marvellous to relate, the court-plaster was cb served to have passed over to the gentleman's lip. The editor of the New York Aurora on:e knew a young lady who was si m.idest that she actually fainted because she was olliged to sit upon a (car-akin. ThbRctokt. Mr. Colt, supeiintendant of the canal at Fort Stanwix, being provoked at a man, cave him a sturdy kick. He retorted, if you kick so while you area Cult, what will you do when yuu come to be a horn.' Thk Point of Dfath. A young, lady go ing into the barrack-roem at Fort George, saw an officer toasting a slice cf bread on the punt of his s.vord, upon which sho exclaimed '1 think, sir, you have got the staff of life on tha point t f death. Cikuan. During Curnn's last illnos, h;a physician observed that he seemed to coug! with more difficulty, lie answered, 'That is ra ther surprising, as I !,av3 been practising all night.' Coor.. '.Maybe smoking is offensive to somrj of ycu !' 'Yes, yes,' immediately responded a li."n voices. 'Wei!,' said the inq iirer, again placing his cigar between his lips, and pulling awav, as f for dear life, ' 'tis to s.une folks .' Says Bill to Jack, 'how many legs weuld a calf have by calling the tail one !' iFive, an swered Jack. 'No '(wouldn't, says Bill, be cause culling the tail one leg wouldn't imke it so, would .t :' Jack nuzzled. 'Master, this eul keeps sayin' I'm a thief:' 'What dues she say that you have stolen !' 'She says that I stole her character.' At tiiis junc ture a little girl jumped up and saiJ 'I elhi ho did I geth ha did for I theen hirn boli.nJ the thcoo! hcuse a eatiu' thumlhing." ITS ON AT LAST.,' "It's on ai jt !" it'a on !" be tlied, To her ilauc'U. r standing bv J "Il'a on !'' lii 'bo'l h ! ult'r inc cboktJ, While joy uffud her eye. ' AV hit's on denr tno her 1" uaVfi theiiiaiJ ; (Shu an il d, aed looksd weet.) M y liustiti oi. J"U ilwnce," the said, i)..i. i it tt.tk vut a ftt ?"