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The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, October 26, 1903, Last Edition, Image 4

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4 THE SALT LAKE HERALD MONDAY OCTOBER 26 1903
THE TIIESALT SALT SALTLIE LAKE HERALD HERALDPublished BRALDI
Published Every Day DT4WtI W the Year YearBY YerBY YearBY
BY THE HBRAJJd VCOMPANYT VCOMPANY dOMPANYTrmg OMPANYT8I111
T T8I111 rm of ofDAILY Subscription SubscriptionDAILY SubsorJpUpnDAILY
DAILY AND 8UN SUNBAY UNDATOn AYc tte O moth JWOBtB8UNJDAY mothc0ts Ua Uacente
cente three montha so 01Ie ear 16 168UNDAYone 1uUU 1uUUSUNDAYone
8UNJDAY 8UNDAYone One year S JtOiL JtOiLSEMIWEEKLYIn
SEMIWEEKLYIn advance one oneveax ODeYear eeyear
Year 91 110 JO J six months Zi ceata ceataffte ceotar ceotaOft cataatru
r
Bastem Bastemchu atru Oft OtZICs ffte W J Morton Jl OrtO In Inlaeaao InChrpJIO inchrgeIO
chu churd ChrpJIO laeaao It 14ft ew York ork W WSubscribers telWaahlqton 7 7WaaZ1ngton
Waahlqton St SL ChicagO Chlcaao8ubKrlben ChicagOubcribsr
Subscribers ubcribsr wishing address of Q paper paperchanced paperchaAaed paperchanged
chanced must give f forinar rm r as well WWLpresent 1 1Ire8ent as asPresent
Present address addressBastem addreaaAll
All pen pe ar OODtIa oaUauet udl nntflOlder U1 Itcttotder
Older rd r te received to discontinue discontinuerearages All ar arreancea a areagg
rearages matt be paid la every case caseThe cueTIae S S1Tk
1Tk The Herald can a b 1M obtained tHSd at t the theplace tIMM tIMMp18eelJ theap theaNewforkWaldorfAtorl
place placeNew p18eelJew p
New NewforkWaldorfAtorl ew fork orkWal WaldorfAstoria ortAatorIa Imperial ImperialBoston IJQert1BostonYounc 13IIPLBostonYoungs
Boston BostonYounc Youngs Hotel HotelcaJcaoTk HotelC1zcaioJrk
caJcaoTk t l Aadlterium llditMiuaIM Palmer PalmerKoue P Pa3iKa
Koue KoueKaaa IM IMKa
Kaaa Ka sie i iOmaha CICI 1Bu 1BuOmah RelseOmahaMillard
Omaha OmahaDjiOTBrmla OmahaMillard tj Hotel Gobs News Co CoMoegeatb COMeeath
Moegeatb SIaer 00 CoDvnverBrOh
DjiOTBrmla DfnvorBrOft PiJsos li Hamilton HamiltonKendrickr rffl4flKendrick II IIIendrJck
Kendrick Pratt nook Store StoreSan StoreSan tOCS tOCSSan
San FranclscoPalaae Frant coPalaq Hotel N Wheat WheatPortland WhtietidDeJPocthIad n u uJ
J J NeWl De DePortland
ietidDeJPocthIad Portland Oreponlalld < J Portland Hotel Hotelixis fOMtLos obI obILos
Los Angeles ADge1ewOU Oliver 7er k kf Halnee Halneev Haln HalnWtnneapoll
f v Minneapolis M1nneapoHWest West Hotel HotelSt BoteS HoteLAWsThe
St S Louis L4NiaTbe The Planter FIUUt 1 The Southern SouthernKNOX So tbenL tbenLJ
2 J v vKNOX KNOX KNOX ON THE TH CITYS NEEDS NEEDStsjtHee NEEDSI
I I 1f IOJIB IXZ lEtRJI OOLUXflof OOLUM1 of in inJMU1tiar
1 tsjtHee peupofting to come co coLos frem fremIx f1htLos
Ix Los > s Angeles A Candidate Knox sets setsysprth seta1f setsI
I ysprth 1f rth his hi views of tJ o Salt lakes needs needsb I Imunicipal Ilit
lit municipal administration JCr JCrKnoxs XrZnoxi r rXnox
Knoxs Xnox programme IK good 4l eaougih eaougihkr eaoug eaougfOr
fOr kr anybody boII7 He a e would nrge aa ade adeignate adeate ads4Uate
ignate ate water supply an organised orgJ zed ef efJirt efn efct
Jirt ct ta t improve rore the city aada 1 e da date oo ooheaive CIQI
I heaive te aaeoeiatifta ottiN of 1 eltiaea to en enxmrage ur enenrag
xmrage r the location of new ew industries industriesin industriesbtthscty
in btthscty btthsctyAs the olty oltyAs t7 t7Aa
As fairs tarIt fa1aS it goes the th pfogramme is ismewt 1aa isnest
nest admirable a but tt Mr Knead Xn f atis fdkke faflio atisIB
IB o eay aia hew ke the election e1 o Qf i the theT theattr the4ti
attr T JNrmWieaJt tiBet is gvig pi te ae aeaimpUpit acs 0 0yu
aimpUpit s yu the things 1t ne has taanted taantedfr m Inror d dfour
fr four years ra the Republicans have havekaft haTetrot harek
kaft k mmtrol trot of the city government govenunentnrerytbing p pD governmenttesythIng
nrerytbing D Xr r Xnox thinks desir desiribie d desfrtbe ir
1 ibie is still tfl1ak1ng 1 tasking andja aa4 anda good r od many manyiUsisjs manYWtNld manyMB
iUsisjs MB lie e would call aa1l1UMleRraDI4t undesirable have haveeem JlaTeva btien
> eem n given va us as a a legacy of this thistovryear t1datm tdsfiauryesr
tovryear < term of K 1tepublican publica rule ruleit n nfa
fa 1 it likely av a Bruo ruoe Johnson Jo JMOn as asbo asfit asbe
bo e of e the downtown aistrtot will willdd WilldCf wiflJfI
dCf dd the lb city to secure neu deeimble de 1e imni imnirm4Je imaUr IznIEYRduP
rm4Je EYRduP r Isat it more likely to make makethis maket makehvn
this A haven fee the erifilnalalassp erifilnalalasspEs criJ er1I1nL t1Da1elusPr elass elassi
i Es r the t injection of a a senatorial nato ma madslMs maJU1deIpal mas
dslMs s Jbte ts nwtaielpal govermment the thehwtway thewa thebst
hwtway bst wa way of securing that harmony harmonyhi hrmouytile
hi the tk business 1nuJba affairs of the city citywldah GityWIII8h oilywbkit
wldah would iD induce munufjioturars munufjioturarsto
to locate here P Does the record of ofiriKOHed ofkbaarr o ojMid
iriKOHed primary ballots go very fax faxtsnrard tarard er erwrd
tsnrard wrd bufldinfr bal1 vf Lp Bait Lake aa a aeammereial arcial a amerds1
eammereial merds1 rcial and financial center centerOwe centero
Owe o of f the strongest points JCr JCrKnox XrXnox r rXnox
Xnox makes is his desire for f t a s better betteradministration bettvMlJldniatration betteradminIstratIon
administration in 1 the health depart department departt ¬
ment nt t Th IM same M ma aepartseab has been beenmost beDoat beanot
most oat active in the primaries and con conventtea Cf consnteD > n nea
venttea ea which resulted in Mr KnoxMHttinatMi Xnoxv Knox KnoxssoIn
MHttinatMi soIn v 1IbDII Does a political politicala politicalsertisat 1itical health healtheja healthI healthIM
a I
sertisat eja IM aI Ua t ooatribute to the eat thed1cy efli eflideney
deney of sanitary inspection 1Dspec and the theeafvrcentent thet thefsreiasnt
eafvrcentent t of laws for the th preyeD prevents preyeDit provenau ¬
ts it f MsijMeuf The bar 5 fHt et t tiiat tiiatsai tMtiDapwtor
sai 1 inspeetor is active act1 in primary pol policies polIII p01I ¬
I icies i III proof of his ri inenleieacy y as a ahealth aIIIIalth asa1th
health sa1th oftcer If the health depart department departt departentlsto ¬
ment entlsto t is to be eontinued e a4 Ma a part of ofh oftile oCa
tile h a seaatertal tda1 machine aebln that of itself itselfis ItMlfeD01ICh ItselfSo
is enough to make voters anxious to toeh tothe toDucrad
eh ag the programme p e by Meeting fdect1ngtle a aDemocratic
Democratic tle administration fwition which has hasm hasIII hasI
I m III faetikm to serve MrA no machine to tonmi to1l to4iaad
4iaad nmi J its aid ia petty politics politicsThe politicsTIN pOliticSThe
The improvements emeDts JCr r Knox urges urgesare urgesJust urgesme
are just as easy to secure under a aPeaaodatic aoocratte aDOerat1c
Peaaodatic city government as they theywemkl theyJ4 theyjt
wemkl jt ha uiwJer JCr Kuoxs machine machineadministration machineadahWltratioD macbinadmbtlatratlon
administration not one of the unde undestratole undellba1l1e undeoibo
stratole results is likely Uke1tocome to come if ifJCorris ifJI IferrJs
JCorris errJs is elected On JCnoxs own ownstatssfttet ownof ownst1nt
statssfttet of what the city needs tie iKeytet thiI tieI1ssp
iI I1ssp Julye every rtlUOnto reason to ex exJt oxpset
ytet victory because they represent representi representJ
i J JHTogress ogr without extravagance busi busiAess buaiwithout bualnuse
Aess seettioda tbods without machine Inter Interference InteriP interfsncs
ference iP clean politics in primary primaryaft primaryftJItSoa
aft eMvettttem ftJItSoa ac against a stuffed stuffedprimary stuJftHlIIrIIIIuy stuedL
L primary ry and questionable methods in
< take tb eonvenoon eonvenoonCL5WS tkm tkmCLlWS
tkmc c
CL5WS SOLVES PROBLEM PROBLEMpvtTR PRo PROBLEMAIm LE LEF
AIm F t1ft OLD > FRIEND Henry Clews ClewsW ClewW Clewei
W i has ha been ° ° a long IOD time coming be berlfi bat bat1ie bte
rlfi 1ie e IW Bttaliy SaIiansftd s1y arrived After Aft A all the theitpMr tMi th thbie
i itpMr bie veil rI1 11 known I Wall au street brokers brokersaad broIc88Ittoney brokesand
and money merchants had given givenevery giveneory
every 41 ww ISS4UI i tkey could th thInk k of for forthe fortile teithe
the recent stock market collapse Ifr IfrSews JrIews r rmez
Sews come mez forward with the real rea reason reaf reaaen ¬
son f Labor Is at the bottom of it I tall talllie all allfee allh
fee thinks especially union labor Says Saysfer S7SCIewe SayeCWE
fer dews dewsThe CIewerIM CWE CWEfbe
The fbe pree present at reaction is Just t as much muchdie muchthe
die result ofexca8 or ex e of labor as the theHHBiam tbe111K theOz I
HHBiam = 111K 0 t Wall street with this dU dUKtWMe cUethat difsreaee
KtWMe that the th penalty for the latter latterJean tatter1IIIt latterMs
Jean almost ijfen Iw en > n paid while the pen penjUty peo81ty penlty
jUty lty of the former f nne is e still to fall upon uponthose upcmat uponthose
those at fault Wages and exactions of ofthe oftile ofthe
the unions nion have risen Ii to practically practicallygvolllhitive practlcaUyrolUbltlve practtcallrobthItive
gvolllhitive obthItive potato under an over overwaresflive overg8Iv overssive
waresflive g8Iv And nd over Oerplng > tr sping leader leaderSlp leader1Ibp leaderip
1Ibp Slp ip The Th romtas mlq winter Is likely to toiee toJOany tomany
iee many Idle workmen and the labor labormovement laborvtm laboroyerniflt
vtm movement Dt a movement having great greatMSelblHtie greutbl1tUetl grezuthIlItIea
MSelblHtie tbl1tUetl fir good has been weak weakened weakby weaki ¬
ened i d by It lbo own Collies foUl which will be beMkely M1Ikely beke1y
Mkely ke1y to cause lUI a setback in Its ag aggreaslvMie qSfts age31flO
greaslvMie Sfts e31flO I fnetI far nome time Um to come comeWe comre comeWe
We re hadnt thought It out on this line linetkcfore linerore linefre
tkcfore rore but rmne to think about It Itafr It Itjr
afr Clewi CIQW in i ns 1 right rl ht as usual In the thef tMTt thelrst
f lrst rat place the workers were wer reopen responItible reponjible reopena
a Itible for the boom Look how they theyforced th thI theyforeOd
I forced fore the price of United States Stat Steel Steelclock 8t1slo Steelstork
clock slo k to a fictitious value by 1 y taking taJdn It Itfreely Itfrfly Itfr
freely fr ly when It was U offered them by bytheir bytheir bytheir
their employers The workmen of ofcourse ofOUlJIIe ofourae
course opened the faucets through throughwhich throughwhich throughwhich
which the water flowed 10 into the great greatindustrial greatI t
II IIIndustrial
industrial I combinations With their theirunlimited theirunumtted theirunlimited
unlimited wealth falth they th engaged In riot riotous riotGUS riotGusspecuIntionS ¬
GUS GusspecuIntionS speculations on Wan street and the thehonest thebonnet I Iooeat
honest ooeat brokers there are even even eve now suf suffering surt ur urfering ¬
fering t rtna as a a result resultMen Tesultlen resultMen
Men trho 110 work with their th lr hand for forday forday fo foday
day wage have a little habit of get getting gettnJr gettng ¬
ting together and fonning overcap overcapitalised overNAPltaUsed overapItalloed ¬
italised combinations They think thinknothing Hunknothlna thinknothing
nothing of acquiring a plant worth
1109000 bonding bon lns It for 1660000 and andthen andthen andthen
then seUlfig tock to the tune of 1000
000 more They dash from place to toplace toplace topleO
place la their automobiles they the flash flashtheir fiuhtbelr flashtheir
their dlaOK Ondl > ndf before b fore the envious eyes eyesof eYMpoor eyesI
of I poor Watt street and they sefc task fashInn taaJa10M taskIons
Inn Ions in wearing apparel so expensive expensivethat tx egsngiySthat ft ftthat
that the povertystricken stock tO t gain gambiers pmblrll gainblsr
biers cannot flflOt follow tollowahem tollowahemIt Jthtm JthtmIt hm hmit
It seems rather strange that we had
to wait for Mr Clews to discover this t thisfor ls J I
for us Somebody should have thought thoughtor
or 0 it before Now that the explanation explanationhas
has come CO however Jlicnveftr let us rise in our ourmight 0111mlht ourmight
might and wrest from the hard bands bandsof hdof
of labortlt labor1t Illgotten Ul otten gains to the end endthat Id Idthat I
that Wall street may again be en enriched n nriched ¬
t
riched and all the little sons of the thefathers theathera thefathers
fathers of Wall street given she meals mealsa j
a day instead In tea4 of only four or nvo ftv ftvWITH Svosae 1 1WITH
I
sae saeWITH
WITH APOLOGIES APOLO TO MR GILDER GILDERUST GILDERI
I IJ
I UST A MONTH lOlot AGO a a brief dispatch dispatchfrom dispatchtrom dispatchJ
J J from New York announced that R RW RW ILW
W GUm editor of the Century Mag Magsine Ma Mazine
I Isine
sine declined to accept a Citizens CitizensUnion CItISODSUnion j
Union nomination for alderman aId With Withthis WJththis Withthis
this announcement as a text The Her Heraid j jaid Iaid
aid commented on what seemed to toMr be beMr beMr
Mr Gilders lack of public spirit as a asample j jsample Iflample
sample of the good citizens aversion averoflto j jto I Ito
to public life Knowing Mr 1 Gliders GU Gildersability er3 j jability t tablUt7
ability his experience to public aflalrs aln alairsand j jand I Iand
and his views on citizenship it seemed seemedremarkable seemedI seemedrerJlaIUe seemedremarkable
I
remarkable that he should refuse fuae to todo todo j
do his share ta the political life of New NewYork NewYork I
York It appears that Mr Gilder has hasgood ha hasgood
I
good reasons for declining to serve and andThe endThe
The Herald did him an Injusticein Injusticeincriticising Injustice In IncritJclBlq incriticising
criticising him severely for his actionThe actionThe action actionThe
The following letter from Richard RichardUnderwood ttlchirdUnderwOO4 IChWt IChWtUnderwood I
Underwood Johnson associate editor fftlU01oC fftlU01oCthe of ofthe ofthe
the Century explains itself itselfI It el elI
I have recently seen the editorial in inThe inThe
The Herald for Sept 24 4 entitled Fox FoxBusiness ParBaa FOrBuelnees i
Business Reasons Jtea on in which you call callMr callfro callr
Mr r Glider er to account for hick of publro publrospirit pubi I IIplrlt Ispirit
spirit In declining to accept the mftn mftnInattoa Dciminat n sii siiinati
inat Inattoa for alderman In New York City Cityas
as a candidate date of the Citizens Union Unionand Unionand Unionand
and itt latwhlch which you say sayMr sa saMrGJlder sayMr
Mr MrGJlder Gilder is a conspicuous example exampleof
of the good citizen who refuses the thevery thevery hc hcYEry
very duty he would urge upon other othergood othergood othergood
good citizens Like Petroleum Nasby Nasbyhe NasbYbe NaabYhe
he is witting to sacrifice his wifes re relations rela1l008 islatlons ¬
lations or anybody else on the altar o opatriotism oJMLtriotlam opatriotism
patriotism etc etcYour etcYour etcYour
Your point of view of this subject subjectshows subjectshows ct ctdOw
shows a singular lack of information informationas
as regards Mr Gilders standing in this thiscommunity thiJeommunlty tilLsCommunity
community andparticularly and particularly as to 1 his hisattitude 1115tttltude s sttttude
attitude toward public service Mr MrGilder MrGlider MrGilder
Gilder Is not only onl well known as a man manwho man manwho maflwho
who for years has given his personal personalservice per perualservice onal onalservice
service to many good causes aiMfe as asmternailonaLcojnfrigltt aaIDtematlonalcOP1llCbt asInternakIoimLcoprIht
mternailonaLcojnfrigltt ctvfl service serviceform etof etoftrm re reform ¬
form the introduction Jntro betlon of the kinder kindergartens klndifrprtens kindergartens ¬
gartens in the New York schools the thepromotion thepromotIon
promotion of model tenements tenementsvarious and andvarious andVrtous I
various other philanthropic causes but buthe buthe l
he was as you seem not to be aware awarethe awaretbe aarethe
the chairman of the fast tenement tenementhouse teuemeatholJlM tenenmathoue
house commission comml IIlon and an In this official officialcapacity oOiclalcap olflciicapacitya
capacity cap capacitya cltya a position without pay papore paporeto gave gaveto
to this city for more than a year the themost themost fitsmost
most devoted and useful service I re regard reprd regard ¬
gard that commission as a a model for forall foralt foraft
all similar work Within a year y ar it itmade itmade itmade
made a careful study studyot of the whole tene tenement tenement teitOmont ¬
ment house question not only onl In New NewYork lfewYork eW eWYork
York City Olt but In other cities cltt took tookst a avast aVast
vast st amount of testimony and framed framedappropriate trame1appropriate fratheiappropriate
appropriate legislation leg1 and against againstthe againsttbe againstthe
the opposition of Trinity church and andothers andothena nd ndothers
others succeeded substantially In InUn gft gfttlng gtting
ting Un Its conclusions embodied In Inthf Inthflaw the thelaw thelaw
law The comnussjou commlnl instituted tUt tUtUon recrea recreation rcrKtion ¬
tion piers procured the demolition of oft ofthe ortbe ofthe
the worst orat tenements In the city for the thepurpose thepurpose
t 1 1purpose purpose of making new parks for the thepeople thepaople h hple
people ple and made a beginning of tene tenement teatment tenemont ¬
ment house reform which public sent sentiment sentmeat ¬
ment has thoroughly endorsed and Is lanow IsDOW Isnow
now extending extendingIt
It Is very easy for others to choose chooseones qisooseones e eone
ones one path of duty for him but the thesermon thesermon I Ilermon
sermon which you read re to Mr Glider Glideron Ider IderOft
on his duty in the matter of the ac acceptance acceptance accoptance ¬
ceptance of office goes very far afield afieldProm a afieldProm ld ldFrom
Prom a pretty general < acquaintance acquaintancewith
with New Yorkers I think I may say saythat saythat saythat
that no one oii In this community stands standshigher sactshigher standshigher
higher In the public estimation than he heas heas lieas
as a citizen who is sparing neither of oftime oftime I Itime
time nor of money in the advancement advancementof
of the interests intere tp of the people peopleIn I
In conclusion let me say that there thereare t thereare re reare
are not wanting many good 004 and aadpable ca capable Capablo ¬
pable men In New York City who wboWIDIng wboare wboarewining mr mrwining
wining to respond at great sacrifice sacrificeto sacrteto crl crlto
to the public demand for their serv services seivIeee servIces ¬
ices in InoftIcee offices for which hieti they are areen areentlrely en entirely entlrely ¬
tlrely qualified Mr Lows Low admimsi admimsitfation admlmstratlon admln1strttlon
tfation which WhIchis Is a thlnlne lnlAg example exam la of ofconstructive orconstructive ofconstructive
constructive reform owes Its success successto S St
to a srottp of just suck men Its U per personnel perMnnet peronnel ¬
sonnel onnel and business methods may con confidently c contsdently n ¬
fidently be recommended to the study studyof tudyof
of other cities
1 may add that Mr Gilder has been beenin beenin n nI
in ft tot five Ay v weeks and has h been ordered orderedtr
tr give up u his hi business entirely until untilhis UhUIhilS Ulitilhis
his health shall be restored restoredEMERSONIAN ref restoredEMERSONLAN ored oredI oredEHtER
I
EMERSONIAN EHtER ONIAN EXTRAVAGANCE EXTRAVAGANCEA EXTRAV GANCE GANCEACcoRDING
ACcoRDING A CCORDING TO A CHEYENNE tel telegram leIesram ¬
21 egram Willis George GoorgeEmerson lmerson JEmerson is isfathering Isfatherlnc isfathering
fathering another aD ther colossal chunk ot otfoolishness GftOOltahne f ffoolishness
foolishness a Willis George is consider considerable considerable considerabIe ¬
able of a joke The only trouble with withhim wtthblm withhim
him Is that he doesnt know how funny funnyhe funnybe funnyhe
he is His latest plan is to move thj thjcapital th thcapital thicapital
capital of Wyoming to a a site not yet yettected yetRlected yetselected
selected tected In a ato1n1 town not yet built In a aI aTapely a avaguely
I vaguely described location In Fremont FrelnOlltoou17 Fremontcounty
1
county on the Sweetwaler h river The Thename TheDame Thename
name of the nebulous Qa elty Is to be beBHierson beafter
I BHierson t after its founder Willis WillaGeorse WillisGeorge
I George
However seriously rlou8l Willis George may maytake ma matake maytake
take himself elf we do not believe the thepie plo plopte po popie
pie of Wyoming WJ ID will take tau him seriously seriouslyAt
At least they never have h T and there Is Isr IslIP iap
lIP p reon n for13oellevbla for believing they will willue ohng ohngtbir
ue r minds mt s The Idea 1 < of fioovl moving m vi g the thecapital thepital thecapital
capital pital from Cheyenne the biggest biggestandmeet bl biggestIitsseat e t tIIue
andmeet imogewous IIue dtpItttM < c1tM 4ty m the state stateto Ittateto etnteto
to a town that baa not been built and andthat andthat andthat
that hasnt even a railroad Is aboutthe aboutthefunniest abent ttM ttMtunnleet the thefunniest
funniest thing that has been promul promulgated promutgated promulgated ¬
gated in the west for a Ions time timeWillfe uWI timewiumres
Willfe WI wiumres JMsjrae bv taROt not unknown t t Utfth Utfthpeople t1tiIpeopleHe UtOkpeople
people peopleHe He H held an a industrial conven convention convention conrention ¬
tion all au1f bjtj ItfmsenT In a Wyoming town townnot townnot townnot i
not long 10 aga 5 and succeeded in bunco buncoing buncoin buncoing ¬
I
ing in a local Cfcatemporary i4teniporary 1aI7 into printing printinghis WIntlhwhis prlnth prlnthhis
his remarks relD a delivered almost t entirely entirelyto tI tIto
to himself in fulL This on is t the Wlllni WlllniGeorge wm wmGeor W1UGeorge
George Geor Who who acquired a ttfty vice pres presidential presidntlal presldential ¬
idential boom a few months since Un Unfortunately Unfortl1Jltel7ter Unfortunate1yer
fortunately for WHile George the boom boomwas boomw boomwas
was w of the collapsible order jtt i blew blewup blewup
up befdre bef re it had reached even die toy toyballoon toyballoon toyballoon
balloon stage stageIf st stIf
If you dont care for football it It is ishardly Ishardly ishardly
hardly worth while te turn to the thesporting thesportlJa thesporting
sporting page these days But if you youdont JOUdont youdont
dont believe there are aN thousands th usands of ofpeople otpeople ofPeople
people in this section ueawhe who do like IUc foot football tootbal1 footbalL ¬
ball you should sit at one of The Her Heralds Heralc HeraIds ¬
aIds alc telephones teleplto some lIOIIteS8turday Saturday even evening evenine evenlug ¬
lug arid try to keep as track of the in inquiries Inquiries inquiries ¬
quiries for the results 1ts of games here hereand hereaod hereand
and elsewhere elsewhereIt l eWJi re reIt
It Is really a shame that the big bigchecks bigchecks bigchecks
checks sent to Prophet Bowie as asdonations asdonations asdonations
donations from Nw N Yorkers were werebogu werebop werebogus
bop but they werent any more bo bogus hogus ¬
gus than the prophet himself himselfUp himselfII
4 4Up II a I IUp
Up to date Dennis Eleanors name has hasnot hasnot hasnot
not been added to the list of RepubU Republican ¬
can apostates However stranger strangerthing strangerthlqga trancertldq
thing than tu that have happened right righthere righthere righthere
here in Salt Lake LakeCandidate LakCandidAte LakeCandidate
Candidate Knox does well weil in con conducting condnct1ng conducting ¬
ducting his campaign at lone lon range rangeplf raDgeU rangef
plf U f he were on the ground the thepeople thepeoplemlaht people peoplemight peoplemight
might ask s1 him some embarrassing embarrassingquestions embarraninglU8t1onl embarrassingquestions
questions questionsThe lU8t1onlThe questionsThe <
The Interior department estimates estimatesthat MtlmatesUaat estimatesUsat
that fee pension 1enalonapproprlatJon appropriation may be becut becat becut
cut Awn n 11 lOMMO during the nest nestfiscal ne neft nertfiscal
fiscal ft 1 year Its It about time timey
>
y
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The Wqderfnlaelthte Wqderfnlaelthte5dr WopderfuV MDaeUtne MDaeUtneHear e etbe
Hear 1 the rattle and the whIm hi of the tJa thema themaChine 1ua 1uachi ma machine ¬
chine chi chiSee
See Se the wheels and see ee the cogs that J pI pIbetween ty
between JMotweeaBear betweenHear
Hear its singing cInc and its I ringing and its itsbuss iUSee Itssee
buss bussSee
See it spin spin along and note tt the work ft ftdoes Itdoes t tcIoea
does doesGreat cIoeaGreat doesGreat
Great machine Hear it sin sinlant m
lant 4t the lovely lovelysee thingY thingYSee thJD thJDSee
See the man who o is i In charge of the ma machine machlfte maSee ¬
chine chineSee chlfteSee
See the thuri1ng curling of his hair his JdenaJen 4eky 4ekymien kT kTmien
mien mienNo naJenNo mienlo
No compound ever made will remove that thatebon utebon thjtebon
ebon shade shadeFor shadYOI shadeFor
For hes furnished with a a color that wont wontfade wonttad Oflt Ofltlade
fade fadeHes tad tadHe ladeHes
Hes He the bon Does It 8 sting sting1t stingisnt tingIsnt
Isnt he the newest thing thingSee tblngSee thingsee
See the man who organized organizedthe the great greatchine artchine gristchine
chine chineIsnt chineIant chineIsnt
Isnt he the smoothest sm oth st one youre you ever everseen tverMen Overseen
seen seenTrust MenTlWlt seenTrust
Trust not his gentle smile smilebeware beware bewarebeart beware MS MSheart k kheart
heart of guile guileFor cuUeFor guileFor
For hes he a out for the xnazuma all tae taewhile t twblle ta tawhile
while whileThis wblleThIa whileThis
This to joe Hes He figuring figuringIsnt figuringlant figuringIsnt
Isnt he the th wisest w t thing thingSee thinelea thingsee
See the man who dally oils the great ma machine JBDchme innchine ¬
chine chineHe chmeHOpts chineHe
He HOpts gets it from a barrel and Its It green greenSee JI8eDsee greensee
See him let it go when he gets the tip tipfrom tipfrom tIPfrom
from Joef JoefHes Joe JoeHe Joelies
lies He a wizard wl rd when It comes to 1spred 1spredlug spread spreading ¬
lug dough doughThto doughThls doughThIs
ThIs is Denny Hes Be disbursing dlsburaiqlI8I1t disbursingtIsnt 1 1Isnt
Isnt he the clever thing thingSee thin thinSeethe thingsee
See Seethe the man who is behind the great ma machine macblne machine ¬
chine chineSee cblneSee chineSee
See him fighting to keep out of the ta tareen tvreen toreeh
reen reenSee reenSee reehsee
See him search his jeans see him giving givingup slYbgup
up his means meansSee meanaee meansSee
See him hi shudder as the gang his pocket pocketcleans pook pookcleans pocketcleans
cleans cleansThis cleansTbla cleansThis
This is Tom Hes He cut the string stringHat strlngllattt stringIsnt
Hat he t3 the e easy thing tMactSee thingsee f fSee
See the poor white slave who works fer ferthe ferthe tarthe
the machine machineSe machinese machinese
Se the meekness in his eye his hismean visajfe visajfemean vhmmean
mean meanSee meanS41e meanflee
See him crtaelag as the boss throws throwsglance threwsA threwsAglance 1 18lanee
glance h6 path acrossi acrossiSee M acressiSee I ISee
See him kowtow to the mighty colored coloredjoss c610redjo8 edloredHes
joss jossHes jo8He
Hes He the slave Hes laboring laboringIsrirt erbacl1Mit laboringisit
Isrirt he the useful thmgT thmgTFeel thlnentltbe 1IIng 1IIngFeel
Feel ntltbe die jarring that cOmes from the thegreat t tar theflrt
great rt machine machineHear ieaohlneesr e elIr
Hear esr tile gang release some wnKuage henguasequhta wnKuagequite guasc guascq
quite q unclean uncleanHear uncleanHear uncleanHear
Hear the awful words they the say see e the thetrouble tlMtrouble thetrouble
trouble theres to pay paySee paySee payS
See S the th man who caused ed the jarring move moveaway moveaway mOVOsway
away awayHes awayH swayHes
Hes H Ute decent Republican He wont wontstand W fttstand wontstand
stand for it itIsnt itJen a aIestt
Isnt Jen t he the nasty nut thing thingOn thln thlnOn thingOn
I
On her coming elghtynfth farewell farewelltour tarewelltour farewelltour
tour of America Patti is to slag Tbe TbeOkl Th ThOld ThOOld
Old Kentucky Home for an encore encorebut encorabut encorlbut
but she gives no assurance 8U that thatwill she shewill 5 5will
will return to her old Welsh home to tostay tata7 tostay
stay stayHid Hid Hi address having bavt been mlstald It ItIs itis
Is net possible We to tore rea b h Tom Mtfek Car Carthe farthe r rthe
the purpose ot securing Ms views of th thlocal the thilocal thelocal
local localOne campaign campaignOne es esOne
One difference between the New York Yorksubway Yerkub Yorkaubway
subway ub ay and surface lines Is that tae taesubway tJWtaubY tileiubway
subway Mils workmen instead of pas passengers paaBeBcer PSOsengers ¬
sengers sengersThat sengersThat
That President Roosevelt ta held heldhigh bi bih i ihigh
high h esteem teell1 by his hi Utah appointees 19 19shown tf isshon >
shown by the manner in which they theycarefully thOeandl thqyerdcvliy
carefully eandl do not refrain from taJdas taJdasan taJd taJdan tkhjan
an active part in politics politicsImpending poUtfceImpending politicsImpending
Impending Calamity CalamityThe O l mity mityThe
The Brietow report on the postofflee pofttoftteitrou pototflstrouble postoffleetrouble
trou trouble consists of UULfcWO 111 rd rdPreaklent word wordPresident wVrdPresident
President Roosevelt Intends to go over overit ovaIt ov ovit
it very carefully before giving it fc0 fc0the t tthe
the public He will have to hurry hUlryftnl tie tiefinish infinish
finish h the th job before his term expires expiresand explreiiand explreeand
and if he as predicted eliminates a agood
good portion of It the public will be bemuch 9 9much emuch
much obliged Hurling Hrlhi a bundle ef eflanguage Cflanguage r
language like that upon an innocent innocentpeople innocentpeople I
people would make the postofnce scan scandal ieeedal 1
dal more scandalous than anyone anyonedreamed aaHndreamed anyonedreamed
dreamed it would be The announce announcement announceI ¬
I ment of the size of the report explains explainswhy
why In many postofnce employes are arebeteg
beteg fllsailteed It Is net for fppetency inoom inoompetency
petency or complicity in defrauding defraudhigthe the thegovertfraent thegoYeriftnent
govertfraent It is I now plain that the thebulk theI thebulk
bulk of the department departD1entemployes employee in inWafhiacton InWhSagtoit
I Wafhiacton W Ift have been busy for weeks weeksin wee weeksIn kc kc1n
< in preparing < this report and now that thatthe thatthe thatthe
the document is finished there Is no nowork nowork nowork
work left for them If the president presidentreally presidentreally presidentreally
really has the welfare of the people at atheart atheart atheart
heart he will refrain from a natural naturalimpulse naturalImpuille naturalImpulse
impulse to incorporate this report reportwithout reportwithout reportwithout
without reading it in his message m e to tothe tI t tthe
I the coming congress That would be bej belaR beon
j laR an atrocity unparalleled In the history historyot hl tory toryclvmUon
ot civilisation Think of BOO 00 columns eolumnsreport of ofreport t treport
report in addition to a a presidential presidentialmessage pre presldentl4lmessage ldntJ41 ldntJ41J1IefIIIaCe
message dumped out in one lump lumprevolution lumprevolution JS JSrevolution
revolution would be the inevitable con consequence consequence consequence ¬
sequence The salvation of the Antets AntetsI Ametlean
I lean reading public however is to be befound beI
I I found in the size of the report and andover a14I
I I the presidents determination to utft utftit go goI
I over it very carefully Unless he heI bemennlS
I means by this to lay the report on the thei the11IoOt thefloOr
i 11IoOt floor and jump over the pile it Is a fair fairI fallInference fairinference
I inference that he b Intends to read It ftPresuming ItI ItI
I Presuming that he will give his hi statu statuI statutQ1J
I I tory administrative and executive ex uttve du duI duties
I ties passing attention the people coq
in the report will be either deaa deaaor
or forgotten long < before the readln readlnof read readot
of the report Is finished and the affafr affafrwin afIa afIawilt aftawill
win be history so ancient t and so devOlfl devOlflof devb devbof devbWof
of interest that the tb only publication publicationwhich publicationwhich r rIdcb
which Idcb can be Induced to print It win winbe wtJbe wiflbe
be the Congressional Record and tnf tnfpublic t tpubttc th thpublic
public will be spared sparedFine sparedFine sparedrine
Fine few Pr Club Organized OrganizadThe
The marvelous success achieved by byJohn b7Tohn byohn
John ohn S Critchlow as s a member of the thecat thecut thecent
cat of Uncle Toms Cabin given by bythe bythe bythe
the Press Pr club last June iwsh has Ia led to the thef taeformtog theforming
forming f of the theJohn Uncle Tom Tomz effete effeteJohn IhIJohn
John S Critchlow club the main mtllne mainof end endof
of the club being to further the can candidacy candldacy candidacy ¬
didacy of Mr Critchlow crtchiow for city re recorder re r rcorder ¬
corder on the Democratic ticket The TheUea TheMea
Mea 45 has caught on hi great lTetlhpe shape It Itoriginally It1fU Itwes
wes originally conceived by mem memrthe4 meinbfirs meinbfirsoftbE
rthe4 01 tWt company who be felt that In jus justice jb5tlce 3b 3btine ¬
tine to Mr Critchlow the public should shouldbe
be advised that he was the one who w wsuccessfully iKauccetl8tullY sosuccessfully
successfully and pathetically portrayed portrayedthe
the character of Little Eva in the big bigshow bigshow
show The club Is already wen or organised organized organized ¬
ganized and Is doing great work Al Alwho AIwho Allwho >
who paid admission to the Uncle Toms TomsCabin T TCabin TonisCabin
Cabin show are entitled to member mflDbtrship membrship membership ¬
ship in the club and one vote each fix fixMr rotfr forMr
Mr Critchlow on Nov 3 3 To secure securemembership HCUI8membeniblp securemembership
membership It is only necessary ne to toprove uaprove lbprove
prove th the payment of the admission admissionprice a admiselonprice on onprice
price to the Tom show and promtae prom to tovote 10vote tovote
vote once for Mr Critchlow Anyone Anyoneoffering An Anofferlng AnyenSoftering
offering to vote twice will be referred referredto
to Republican headquarters where he hewill hewill hewill
will no doubt learn o os something < to tohis tohis tohis
his advantage advantageApplications advantaeApplications advantazeApplications
Applications for membership should be bemade btoma bemade
made ma to Mr Critchlow who has been beendelegated 11MIdelepted beendelegated
delegated by the board of control of ofthe ofUte ofthe
the club to pass p II upon the same If any anypersons aJUpenons anypersons
persons desiring to join the club Had Hadit ftMit findIt
it Impossible Impo elbl or inconvenient to call callupon canupon callupon
upon Mr Critchlow and will so notify notifyhim nottevhim notifyhim
him he will be pleased to call at their theirhomes theirhome theirhomes
homes to arrange arran p the matter If the themeeting therrMetln themeeting
meeting rrMetln cannot be broueht about aboutfore be before b bfore ¬
fore election time candidates for men membership me mebersbl menb ¬
bership b rsbin should nevertheless nev rtbele1I Vote ote for forMr fo foMr forMr
Mr Critchlow on Nov No 3 take a re receipt receipt isceipt ¬
ceipt for the vote and oresent the same sameto 8mfto sameto
to Mr Critchlow at the earliest mo moment mnment menent ¬
ment afterward with nroof of attend attendance attndance attendafle ¬
ance tirion I > on th the Tom show This wilt wiltsuffice wfU8Ufftce wiltsuffice
suffice to secure ec re membership The Toeclttb Ther1ub Theclub
club trill m be a permanent institution institutionEach In institutionEach tUuttOft tUuttOftEach
Each member will 111 be srlven a season seasonof Beasonot seasonof
of IMS 1 100 pas p pain to La Lagoon oon In December Decemberand DfCembean1 Decemberand
and a ton to of coal the first of July JulyThe TulyThe JulySTile
The name Tycoon ta 2lon is used u ed asrainst asrainstthe RtRlnstthe agniustthe
the erpreased tre IIfd wlvh of Mr Critchlow Critchlowtbat Critchlow1bat Critehiowthat
that itbe omitted omitted6ee om omLtejSee UeJ UeJSee
See See above abovenin abovem1n aboventin
e
nin dn t has to ta 1 1kl learn < 8rn b xperi xpeijV
V said kl Vncle Eben is t e ptnerlv nerMv so o
broke when he h gets his information infortjgadat
dat be c ccnt at use It j jQ
Q
9cis AmOPtIss AmOPtIssPbI1adelp eaf
PhUadelpWa PbI1adelp Preas PreasIQI8 p pMiss
Kiss Xl1id1el Muddle I with Jab I knew of s really reallygood nJ1Jr800d reallygoo
good goo way to preserve my complexion complexionMiss complexionKba cOmP °
Miss ML SnawptfU lt yojj heap the box in a acool acool a acoot
cool place it wntte WIlt aD D right t woat t it itWell itT itTWu itij
Well WellIf WuWaab ij esin esinashteto
Waab ashteto Star StarU Starif
If I had as much J81I the fIJe as you bare T Fd Fddo rdM Id1eneeiitdng
do 1eneeiitdng acftnjrthtng useful M said tae seitmada seitmadar llelfma4dMI8ter ieIfiadMI
MI8ter MI ter aaId aid Id Meaaidarlz MIke rd rdreIlJ Idrosfl
reIlJ rosfl r eajoy workixt But Vm 1 11 eo o ctaouy ctaouydat dyclat CISin I Idat
dat de debes lies way Is to Vet t society substitute substituteme subsldisekeep anbaldisekeep
dotaV me to keep me mehands hands handset off when aaytinga aaytingadotaV aattagII e eGin
II IICtiDgbl
Gin CtiDgbl Climate ClimatePbJladelpaia1 CJimteFbI1deIpI ClimateF11Jladepbia
PbJladelpaia1 FbI1deIpI Press PressThats PreTIaat PressThrs
Thats TIaat the local weather forecast forecastwfco tQAClUt4rjust fOrecS5twho
who just pae4 urn urnIndeedr ULInd inindeed
indeed Ind H He taut a very healthy healthyteokmg healthY100IdIq hSltbSlooklej
teokmg man Is her herWo lie lieMo herN
Wo N he says 7 the climate here doesnt doesntagree t tagree
agree with MM MMI I
I wonder if thats that why he keeps chang changing chanslac chaning ¬
ing it BO much
II IIEiI
EiI Finish FinishChicago I IChkqo
Chicago News NewsBUkms NewsBUItla8T NewsBifinSye
BUkms BUItla8T Tee ate father gave him himanti S Sattd eou eouaM
anti toM Mm to go out into the world and andmake aD11Rke andslake
make a maa of himself aimsetfAnd AlIIUteKAIId himselftLItkIniAnd
tLItkIniAnd And what was u the result resultbi rewltTbe resultWktniOb
WktniOb bi he hatet been out outtwent7four more morethe flOrthat
the that twentytear hours when a golden goldenhaired CalMnhaJft4 501d0flhairOd
haired lady y proceeded to make a monkey monkeyof Q Qof
of him
himIMg v
Flagman IMg an Makes lI Beporty BeportyWew ReporueN
eN < Wew York Times TimesBdgar TbnesJN TimesYea
Bdgar Van Va JEtten ttsn vice president nt of the theBeaton thefleatoa I
Beaton st ft Albany mllnmd IIr0a4 says that tbatsome
some s azo 1 he e Introduced J a new sye syep 811on 57 57tern
5 tern k for setline p tsJermatlon on as to the thertr tileor the4Set2ctJ
4Set2ctJ or farmers propertY rtr alone aloneto a305Il
Il 11 at f the raflread A bleak wall tre re reIs
Is d to 1 giN tINt nasM n of r the animal animaltae animaltIae animalhilled
hilled tae Mad of animal and ether in inferdfatlon tnt InforiaUon
ferdfatlon t A space was reserved 1 for an anamrwer anto sitanswer
answer to the following question questionDisposition questIOnuDhIposJtton questionDIipOsItion
Disposition of carcass carcassA ca caA
A flagman whose duty it was te 5 make makea
a rejport on this tblswk blank wrote opposite pp ° Ite the thefTPjej7i the1JutnaJJMd thehipa
1JutnaJJMd hipa Jeer named namedWkid
yiattd Wkid fTPjej7i Del gentle gentlea gentleChange 0 0Ohange nl nlChange a
Change Por the Better BetterPhiladelphia BetterPhlladeJphia ottsr ottsrPhiladelphia
Philadelphia Post PostAlthough PoIItAItIaou PostAlthough
Although Secretary Shaw ta a Jnaa an of ofetotamacy ofilDl4lmacy ofdplesnacy
etotamacy he enjoys loosing an occasion occasional oecaaiona1 ¬
al shaft of satire An official who takes takesgreat takMgreat takesgreat
great pride prldeln ride In his dress but who wOOa ta spite spiteof BPltof spitSof
of elaborate toilets Is not conspicuou conspicuoufor cons CO4lSJdl0U5for ou oufor
for hill beauty recently tly attempted to togrow togrow togrow
grow whisk Evidently his effort effortstirred etrortsUrred effortstirred
stirred up domestic objection ob Uon for a few fewdays fewYs fewdiya
days ago 0 after three months of assiduous assiduousclilttvatloii IdUOUSIWvatlO1 eiiOUOUs4bItivatloa
clilttvatloii IWvatlO1 of a black but somewhat re reoleanabaren re reluctant reluctant
luctant growth or beard he aP Mred apperedcleanshares Mredcleana
oleanabaren cleana Y again explain explaining pc to him ntecolleague b booJlecue himcolleagues
colleague that it wa was 811 his wife wifes birth birthday blrthcia birthflay ¬
day cia and that in her honor he had re removed re removed removed ¬
moved what she bad bewailed as an un unnecessary unneceuary Unnecessary ¬
necessary disfiguration disfigurationForthwith dl disfigurationForthwith flguratlonForthwith
Forthwith he h showed A1to himself elf to Secre Secreiry secretary Secretary
tary iry Shaw craving Cl1IY ng comntendaUen comntendaUenYes COIft commendottem tel1datJeo tel1datJeoYes
Yes I congratulate you said the sec secretary eretary seerotary ¬
retary Your case reminds of the good goodlite JJOOd1fe goodwife
wife 1fe who venturing turiq on a chn ChanOs e jD n wear wearlug
In h her t hair timidly asked her huatDd huatDdIf
If he thought It unbeeolnl unbeeolnlDlu unbecoming
Dlu lou no he exclaimed trying tryinghis Ing Ingbla
his best to be complimentary complimentaryweukl any thane ChaqeW4 thanewOuld
wOuld be an improvement in you yonj youNo
j III IIINo g1 g1No
No Cape CapeNew BecapeNew Escape EscapeNew
New Orleans TtweeDemoerat TtweeDemoeratI TIDe TIDeB ThacSDemoerMBeracic
I Boradc B radc acid In the soup soupWood soupWood soupWood
Wood alcohol in wine wineCatewo wineCa wineCtsp
Catewo Ca Map dyed yed a lurid hu huground hM hMBy himB
By B sshtg a1lm a1lmTbe aniline anilineold
Tbe old ground hulk of o coneaauts coneaautsto COOIMIoIMItagerTe4
gerTe4 to u ua uaI a ass spices spicesI ma maI
I reckon criSp and aaclIIJ = frtgid glass glassIv
Iv I elided out with the ices icesThe IeeLTbeM IcesThe
The TbeM mttkthe kind the old cow cewWa gives givesWay glveWay
Way Wa down at Ctovertidc CtovertidcIts CJo CJoIt
Its It onethird milk and water wat an anThe a aAM and andLad
AM dsen ofor niddshyde niddshydeTue 7de 7deJt
The Jt syrups ps bleached by ustaefttn ustaefttnAnd usIngtlnAnd
And honeys Just gtaceee 1 1And I IAnd
And what tb the fancy lanc butter butterT butterTb m mThe
The T Tb goodness gracious know knowThe kJtOWSoTb knowThe
The Tb olive e eno oil ol1p > of cottone cottoeseed cottoeseedTheres ed edTberes
Tberes alum In the 1 read breadns readIt
It ns realty a surprise e to toTM me meThe meTb
The Tb whole durned race roe aintfleail aintfleailMeantime aMtdedMeantime tlea tleaMue
Meantime an the germs and things tilingsAw ums umsg thingsAre
Aw bOTztestit g Yit to kill killIf kfUIt killIf
If the food you eat dont Kit KitThe you youThe yenThe
The geidarned darn d Microbes wtlL wtlLEasMy wi wie wiEat41y wILBaI1yohnd
e
EasMy BaI1yohnd BaI1yohndWash1nt Pound PoundWashington FOimdWuQinstOR
Washington Wash1nt u Tiroes TiroesThe Tame Thn m
The fact that America is I a vary vtiT tig tigcountry 1 1country Lgcountry
country never strikes one so forcibly forciblyae f2 rclbl rclblaM
ae when he has traveled a couple of ofthousand ofthouaH ofthousand
thousand miles due west and still finds findsthe findsthralrle findsthe
the thralrle prairie stretching out before him bknA btmA himA
A yottfeg yog g member nWmbntatlie xjftlw British rttii nobility nobilitywas nobnUywu nobilitywas
was over rkere here recently recent1 accompanied accompaniedby
by his hl Inevitable nevltablevalet valet James JamesThey JamesTyy JamesThtysaw
They Thtysaw saw numerous nulperous seaboard cities citiestarrfed citiestanlKl citiestarrd
tarrfed tarrd for a time tI In Pittsburg m Chi Chicago Chicago Chicage ¬
cago In St Louis and in Kansas City Cityand Cityand Cityand
and then str truclt struckaut ck4 ut into the great west westSomewhere we westSomewhere t tSOmew
Somewhere SOmew ere near 1 the edge of trok owrado owradothe rado radothe
the train was delayed at a small I sta station satlon stetion ¬
tion and the passengers got out to tostretch tosmrteJt tostrEtch
stretch their led l among them hte hlord hlordJl hI lord lordship lordship ¬
ship Jl and James Jam Jamehcho who ho seemed in a brown brownstudy brownstudy brownatudy
study studyWhats studyi >
i Whats ts the t thetter teatter tter asked his mao master maeI maotee ¬
tee t eI v
1 I was Wiss D jut jutJames j jittin1cIn In ikln zi my lord said saidmbue amidJames d dJamn
James that ttma li Phernbue mbue Due dlont 4I int < do sach sachwcben sticha
a Woomln bloomInblgtilIng Wgi W when 4J disco discovered cUscoveredthlsere discoveredthis vered veredthis
this thlsere ere countr oo i1PJtatter hatter halls 1aU said akla1M1 akla1M1Id and anddone anddone
done Jt Ow w could I e elp lt ltAre I it4roti r rAre
Id Are 4roti You YouP YouP11ve8lng YcuPhIresing
11ve8lng le Peat PeatAi t tfeu
Are Ai jwu at mtf4flOl trflv V are yon r rAh a trt trtI
Ah be yeu yeudom J der or threagli iris wlsIotlv irisra
tged41
dom aad ioiiyr ioiiyrAna IotlvAa
I Ana ra you y tt Sowebedy Soibe p Btee 5a Or or Ton Tonvote YOUDo Yenflo
Do yoCvote rod vote by the symbol 81 and swallow
Do you Oiz pta piat dny the book Go you 1 pay y by byt bythe bythe
t the e nrt nrtDe rete retetie u l lDerettI
De DerettI y yottAtp u Ate y Omr r cravat avat b bt > the tit calendars calendarsaateT ealsisders0ate r8 r8I
aateT aateTDe 0ate 0ateDo
De you fo1tdft foHtti foMoVit cue oueAre cueAre e eAre
Are you a writer writerbr for thatwhlcli that whlch le word worded worl1ed1 wordof ¬
ed edAre ed1 ed1re ofAre
Are re you a shepherd or one of the herd herded herded herdWkiqk ¬
ed edWkteK edWIIIjllu
WkteK WIIIjllu arsy tyeIaDS H What or r a Who WhoIt W WhOIt 07 07It
It sounds well to call yourself one OMof of the theflock thetlook theflock
flock flockBut tlookBut flockBut
But a ahesp sheep te JsI slteee aMer all At t the thebij tbeYoure theYoure
bij fc fcYoure
Youre nothing but mutton or possibly possiblystock IiOMIhlyatoek possiblystock
stock stockWould atoekWould stockWould
Would you flavor a stew ww7Are stewAre 4 w wAre
Are you a being bel and bo boss of your soul soulOr tlQUlOr soulOr
Or are ybu a RJilUIRJII mummy to carry ascroll ascrollAre alerollAre aeroitAre
Are you Somebody Bto Iae or Tout ToutWhen YoatWhen YouWhen
When yon 0 finally Ona1 pass to the heavenly heavenlywicket hvenly1ICkr heavenlywIcket
wicket wicketWhite 1ICkrWh wIcketWhe
White Wh Peter the t 1JemttftownitaRAa erutlnowe stawie at his htepicket hispicket hUmpicket
picket picketAr picketAra picketAn
Ar Ara you going to give him a blank foe fora foraticket foraticket a aticket
ticket ticketDo ticketPo ticketDo
Do you think it will do doHis dot
4 4His 0His
His Diplomacy Failed FailedBrooklyn FailedBrooklyn FailedBrooklya
Brooklyn Eagle EagleOn BagleOne EagleOne
On One day David L Lewaley wley a bright brl ht young yOU1Ir youngIrIshmfl vOuAgIrishman
Irishman Ir employed as a reporter for for an antaoottMquenttal anmOOlUl1uenUaI n nMoesequentMl
taoottMquenttal Washington nrfwp n ndwspspet ndwspspetwag p P8t f fwas
was sent to interview Senator lugalls lugallson
on a matter of grave national importance importanceToe ImportanceTIle
Toe Ib senator tor who divined the purpose of ofthe ofthe
the reporters call and did not yteh to totalk totIk totalk
talk on that subject came into U t thc c recep recepUo recepUost
Uo Uott room with his watch in his hand handJd handI
1 I can dve you Just uat fifteen minutes alDutald minutessaid
said Jd 11 hO n What can I do for your yourLewatey you youLewsieV youeielev
Lewatey put the question squarely but butthe butthe
the senator answered after the traditional traditionalTa tra4lt1onalYak traditionalanIcee I
Ta Yak anIcee ke fashion by putting C another anotherYoung enotherUYOlt anotherYoung
UYOlt Young man said he noticing Lews Lewsley LawsIcys I Iley
ley Icys sleek appearance do you shave shaveijuwelfr aveyowwtt shaveyourself
yourself yowwttNo ijuwelfr ijuwelfrYou
No ear earYCMl sirYou M
You ought to Senator Ingall alBert aaerted alBerteel asserted
ed Every man ought to shave him himself hlmelt himmIf ¬
self Then 1 en In that delightful way of his htehe hlahe hishe
he set forth the many advantages en enJoyed enJOeI enjorod
Joyed by the man who is his own ton tonortel tonIIoiia1 tonserial
serial artist Ha H delated on the Ui thrilling thrillingnleasure thrll1ln thrll1lnpi thrillingpLeasure
pLeasure pi of handling the th keen blade bladehairs bJaftheartnc bladeheszksg
heartnc the e1fe cris mound und of the severing severinghairs vering veringhatna
hairs and the tiny musical ring flf f t ttempered the tbetempered thetempered
tempered steel and feeling the smooth smoothsoft smooth80ft smoothsoft
soft surface of the skin efter the stubble stubblehas stubbleh stubbleihs
has h been removed He delivered 1Iered a disser dissertation dINertation dissertatlon ¬
tation on the esthetic E phase of the ease eMeafter seatter easeafter
after which he descended de ctnded to the practical practicaldetail practicaldetlta practicaldetails
detail telllnc Lewsley what make of ofrasors ofraaon
rasors s was the beat and highly hl h1y recom recommending reeommeMInc recommending ¬
mending a certain C rtaln kind of soap Then Thenstill Thenstl11 Thenstill
still holding his watch in his hand he hesaid beaid hesaid
said aidwa
wa saidI I see eI I have exhausted h S my y time You Youwill YouThe Youwill
will have to excuse u me now nowThe nowThe
The next morning mornin the leadings leadtn article articlein
in Lewvleys paper was an attractively attractivelydisplayed attrileUIIelydlsplayitd attrfleUvelydisplayed
displayed report of this interview interviewThen InterviewThea InterviewThen
Then Lewaley sefft fn a copy py of UM paper paperto paperto paperto
to the manufacturer of the soap which whichSenator wblchSenator whichent0t
Senator Ingalte l had so enthusiastically enthusiasticallypraised enthualksticahlyPPRI5d
praised add for months the Senator had hadto hadto
to grin and bear the sight of his own ownface OW11taoe Wii Wiiface
face accompastai ccompa by b i his own wn word Ordll in inbroadcast InbrOadCPt InbrOtdest
broadcast advertisements of that shaving shavingsoap ab1ngsoap shavingsoap
soap
1 < iz =
UNCONSCIOUS TJN C NSCiOUS HUMOR IN SMALL ADS
4 4Prirttod
Printed Notices Were Meant MeantWall MeantWell MeantWoil
Wall But Matters Got GotTangVed Gotl Gottanted
TangVed l Up UpA
I
advertise advertlsep advert18e1 advertiseA
N ODD collection co of
AN A A gathered by an anold anok anold
p maSts me ts bas been
old printer and newspaper man mancovering mancoverih iflflcovering
covering < a period of more than three threequarters thnequarten threquarters
quarters of a century la this thi collec collection ecphue eoUectimi ¬
tion almost every evei Phase ph of advertising advertisingmay advertisinSmay ertla ertlamay
may be found and many of them themmake themmake themmake
make interesting reading readingHere re readingHere tn I
Here follows folio an extract from the ad advertisement adiertimemeist ¬ I Iertleemettt
vertisement of a cabinet maker of Ca Caeenovla Ca40fl0V1
I
eenovla 40fl0V1 N
Y YCOPFlN5A YCOPFKNSA i iCOFFINS
COPFlN5A COFFINS A full assortment of ofsises otslaes ofsizes
sizes of coffins already on hand isan Par Particular Particular ar artleulr ¬
ticular attention paid to toworlt repairing oM oMwork o owork
work Prices for all to suit the times timesInstead timealn timesInstead
Instead ln tead of the theAmerican American expression expressioncastoff ezprealoacastoff expressioncastog
castoff clothing < the English EncUshleftoff use useleftoff Ustleftoft
leftoff clothing In an English Englishnewspaper SDaUshntwper Englishnewspaper
newspaper an advertisement adv states statesthat atatestbat statesthat
that thatMr Mr aad Mrs Brown have left off offclothing 0 0cloth oftclothing <
clothing cloth of every ev description and In Invite 1nlte Invite ¬
vite lte your careful inspection inspectionThe 1n
The proprietor oV if a New York barber barbershop barbershop er erbop
shop employing e female barbers bad this thisadvertisement Udsadvert1llenleBt thisadvertisenseist
advertisement on the watt wattIn wanIn wltIn
In order to avoid misunderstanding misunderstandingI quadtns quadtnsI
I note to all my customers that the tnelady tbela4y thelady
lady In this barber shop te my wife wifeJOHN wifeJOHN wifeJOflN
JOHN B DBLLOYORIO
A hotel keeper in Vermoat did not notbelieve notbelieve notbelieve
believe In loafers around his place and andposted adpo andposted
posted po the following sign over the of office offtce offlee ¬
flee clock clockThis clockThis clockThis
This clock te for the use of guests guestsof eMs eMsor
of the note oa 0117 01170CZI0It o4iy7 o4iy7Zions y yZkms
Zkms Fishermens Resterrant Re Pigs PigsFeet PiplIMt PigsFeat
Feet Saow Balls B Ice Cream and Shoes ShoesHalf SboMHalf ShoesHalt
Half Settled te the sign over the win window wIDdow window ¬
dow of a South Washington Wa negro negrosfcsok nepoR negroskac
skac skacRead sfcsok sfcsokRead
Read R this thu patent tt medicine certfUcate certfUcateand oerMcateaAd certlOcateand
and put on oh It t tile tht meaning Ing which Is Ismost SJImo isinset
most natural naturalI
I continued co tlnued on on using u it It and by the thetime thetime
time t me I had taken five bottles > I found foundmyself fossilmyself
myself completely cured after aft having havingbeen haVIn haVInbeen
been brought so near to the gates of ofdeath ofdEath ofdeath
death by means of your lavaluabte lavaluabtemedicine JB Invaluabibmedielne valUbl
medicine medicineThis medielneTide
This was thoughtful thou htll on the part t of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the advertiser advertiserWANTED adver adverW advertiserWANTEDA
WANTED W ANTEDA A respectable re pectable gentle gentleman gentleman gentleman ¬
man widower preferred to marry the thehousekeeper thehousekeeper
housekeeper hou of an a aged ed gentleman gentlemanwho gentlemanwho gentlemanwho I
who has been an invalid for years and andwho andwho andwho
who respects res ts her as a good and true trueservant trueervt trueservant
servant whom m he would like to see in inthe tnthe inthe
the happy state of matrimony m trlmoR7 before beforehevdlee beforebeclle beforehidim
hevdlee She has had three t ree husbands husbandsbut husbandsbut
but l uts is willing for A A fourth fourthMassachusetts fourthK fourthMassachusetts
Massachusetts K hUMtts u the mother of school schoolmarten SChOOl1nL1tet
marten aDd grammars enacted acted lChoe11 tt ttfollowing OM OMfolio th thfollowing
following folio m In Mf2 Mf2Conmtoatoners 10Meomm lI2Cossinissloeet
Conmtoatoners eomm to take the deposi deposition c1epoldtl deposithIn ¬
thIn tl n of any person without this state stateengaged stateengaged > I Ie
engaged e In the regular or volunteer volunteerland volunteVland I I1aDd
land service rvlce of the United States may maybe maybe j jcolonel
be executed b by the colonel lieutenant Itenantcolo lieutenantcolonel
colonel el or major of the regiment m mwhich In Inwhich I IwAack
which such person shall n at the time timenezye t tserve I Ierve
he be con connected eonnecte connecttd ¬
serve or with which whlChhe may
nected etc etcIn etCr eteIn
I
In the same me year yearthe the common council councilof
of Jackson lOD Mich passed the follow following followIn followlug ¬
lug In I IuReeolncl
ingResolved Resolved That t the pbundmaster p u dmuter be beinstructed behiotructed I IIntltnlcte4
instructed not t to receive Into the pub public public ¬ l lHe
lic pound any cows that any person on I Imay i imay
may drive to the same pound underthe under underthe del I Ithe
the age a of M years y yearsThe j jThe IThe
The following was found round In the door doorof doerof I
of a small dwelling d < near Bladensburg Bladensburgthe BIadet5bUrthe U I Ithe
the famous dueling ground of Mary Maryland Mary1a1t4 Maryisitd ¬
land landNetteatt Netteatt NetJeMtA A House Ii and lote lot fo forente fop tearentS I Irent4t
rentS or salle kaa b Baugta or Rated Ratedoe RAtedJoe Ratedhoe
Joe oe ife Bnney on wishes to Rente or orBuy j ji IBuYkl1
i Buy BuYkl1 kali and see me meThe
I
I 1 The sentencing steRcI sssstesiclngofOaptInO of Captain CqtaJR O M Car Carter Carter I II
I ter U S S A A A to imprisonment Impn ORlIMIlt recalls recallsthe recalIathe recal1sthe
the fact that In 1393 Lieutenant Camp Campbell CamPbell I II
> bell of the Middlesex x England ml mlhitla j jlitia IUtla
litia was found guilty of forgery and andcondemned andcondemnH andcondemned
I condemned to die for the offense On Onthe Onthe Onthe
the eve of the execution he sent the thefollowing theIfollowlng thefollowing
following to his brother officers officersLieutenant omce omceLlleutenallt ocereLiCutenhilt
Ifollowlng Lieutenant Campbells compliments complimentsto
to He requests the pleasure pleasureof I Iof
of his company tomorrow morning to tohonor totake
take a tOp p ot chocote and do h hint the theI I
I honor to accompany him to Tyburn to tobe t tbe
I be present at his execution executionThis executionI executionThis
This was a peculiarly marked dog
I 6 RBTWARD JUJW EEWARDStrYed ARD8tr8Yed Strayed from the tliepremise tMpremillel thepremises
premise of the subscriber sub In Center Ceatervttle eeaterYilIe Centervile
vile OR tLj tl Id of October a small dog dogj dognear I Ii
j near the color of an opossume with withyellow withyellow withyellow
yellow legs and head l and nd tall cut off offAny olrAny aftAny
Any person returning him will receive receiveUie read readthe receivethe
the above reward
rewardDANIBL
DANIEL KILROY KILROYA
A colored red couple coupleinGeorgia in Georgia sent out outthe outth outthe
the th following invitation invitatkmYour iBvttatleYour invitationYour
Your presents Is required to a swell swellweddin swellweddin I
weddin at the home of the bride b Conn Connone C0n15c
one oDe c come all Gentleness 25 2 cents centsladiML centsl centnladies I
ladies l dle IS i cents
The following tollo nc appears a in a North Da Dakota D Dhots ¬
kota paper per the author being a justice justiceof I
of the peace peaceI
ut I am reliably llaBly Jnformed that some someof I Omeof someof j
of our loeal clergy y are cutting cutt prices pricesaad I1eeJand pricesand
and thereby demoralizing business bwd I Iwill Iwill
will 1n not reduce prices to perform rtonn the themarriage themarrta themarriage I
marriage marrta ceremony but will give time timeIf timeIt timeIt
It necessary or will take meat pota potatoes potatoe potatoes ¬
toes grain grainIn In fact any kind of prod produce produceand produceand ¬
uce uceand and will m agree e not to kiss the thebride t1tebrlcle thebride
bride unless perfectly satisfactory to toher toher toher
her
Even the th government gets tangled up upoccastoaally upoccasionally I Ioc
occasionally oc y In advertisements a rtl etneftt8 This Thisappeared ThisappetU Thisappeared
appeared d in the Washington Republi Republican ¬
can In 1M3 1M3A 115A 1 1A
A CARD CARDThe The attention of the pub public pUblic pithBc ¬
lic is l invited to the sale which will take takeplace takeOil takeplace
place oa FRIDAY Y MORNING MORNL G the the10th the18th the10th
10th instant at the United States peni penitentiary pen1tentlary pen pententlary ¬
tentlary commencing precisely at 9 9oclock toclOCk Soclock
oclock Purchasers will 111 have to > settle settleas etUeknocked
as knocked down If not they th y will be beput 1Mput beput
put up upand and resold as they will have to tobe tobe tobe
be removed as sold on account of the thegovernment thevernmet thegovernmeht
government wanting it immediately immediatelyBy
By order of H I KING KL G Warden WardenThis WvdenThis WardenThis
This must have been one of the long longest Ioccst longcot ¬
est sermons ever preached in the th state stateof atatot stateof
of Iowa IowaDVJNT Iowa IowaAD
AD ADVENT vTBNT MEETINGS 1I1IETINGSEtd Eld p D M MCanright KCaarlBht IdCanright
Canright of Boston and Elder E W WParneeworth WParnesworth WFarnesworth
Parneeworth president prt ldent of the Iowa Iowaconference IowaCORference Iowaconference
conference will preach in the Baptist Baptistchurch Baptistchurch t tchureh
church from Friday evening April 5 5till Itin 5till
till Monday Yon ay evening eveningBut eYeftlncBut eveningBut
But If the males grew whiskers while whilelistening whilellstentla whilelistening
listening to the sermon they could step stepinto atepInto stepInto
into a barber shop where the sign signWhiskers iignWhiskers IgnWkl
Whiskers Wkl kers Died Here hung In the thewindow thewindow thewindow
window windowA
A Philadelphia paper recently printed printedthe print printtlte
the following followingWANTBD foUowtncOW followingWANTEDA
OW WANTBD ANTBDA A young unmarried unmarriedwoman unmarriedwoman unmarriedwoman
woman without childreil c clreat wants position positionua
aa ua cook or housekeeoer housekeeoerThis hou ekeeMlThl r rThis
This Is an n old copy from an English Englishprovincial Englishprovincial Englishprovincial
provincial journal journalWANTED JournalWANTEDFor journalWANTEDFor
WANTED WANTEDFor For a sober family a aman aman aman
man of light weight who fears the thaLord thltLoni theLord
Lord and can drive a pair of hones XorsesI kor8eLH honesHe
I He H must occasionally wait at table tablei tab tabjtlln tablejoin
i join the household prayer pr er look after afterthe afterthe afterthe
the horses and read a chapter of the theBible theBible theBible
Bible He must God willing arise at
7 oclock In the morning and obey his hismaster Idsma hismaster
master ma t r and mistress In all lawful com commands commands consmands ¬
mands If he can dress hair sing singpsalms alncpsalms singpsalms
psalms sill play pia at t cribbage the more moreagreeable moreeeable moreagreeable
agreeable agreeableThe agreeableThe eeable eeableThe
The following notice wasposted wa 1pelrted on onthe onthe ontile
the court house door of a Kentucky Kentuckytown KentuckYtown Kentuckytcwn
town S SN
townX X B take pur r tickler Notis that thatt
t
thar is now UO in the Jale of boyd county countyKy i iXy j
Ky 1 degro man bearing the name of ofJackson ofJackson
Jackson niarioe from masuray as be besays b besays
says Delivered to me buey 0 pur purmitamus purmftamu parmitam
mitamus mitam from the JesUs of the peas of otsaid ofsa14
said county on the 6 of June 18 18P 1M 10 10P I
P T JILSON JILSONThe JILSONThe I IThe
The Star of if f Hope a newspaper print printed printed i
ed in the prison at Sing Sing had the thefoQowlas thetoUowtza thefollowing
following foQowlasI toUowtzaLOSTA S SLOSTA
I LOST LOSTA A good character the owner ownerwill ownerwUl ownerwin
will give all his earthly possessions for forits fo foi forit
its i it Return and oo questions Questi asked Ad Adima j jciess i
Jess < Contrition Clinton C1lztt Prison PrisonI PT PTiunAtlantic on
I II I
I Atlantic City ha hM a number of hotels hoto hotogiven j I
I given over to stags and one of these thesedisplays
1 displays the following signs signsParties 8lgnsuParttee signsParties I
Parties contemplating suicide nil 1 ill bo bofurnished b ba bafurnished
furnished with all n necessary facilities facilitiesand facliitie4and
and the latest teet improved methods i ith ithistance it it itassistance i iassistance
assistance istance free and funeral fune > ral expenses expensesdefrayed expenstsdeftayed I Idefrayed
defrayed defrayedTelegraph defrayedTelegraph I
Telegraph and telephone tele hone service free freeStationery tlHstationery freeStationery
Stationery and postage stamps fur furnished I Isilsiled
nished tree treeF4f1ale treeFemale i iFemale II
Female typewriters on every floor floorThe Ooorrhe floorThe
The zest and most Courteous atten attention att attention n I IUon
tion given to old maids the older the thebetter th thbetter thebetter
better and families with small chit children chitdren ¬ I
dren the more the merrier merrierPatrol merrierUPatrol merrierPatrol
Patrol wagons ambulances ambulan es and andcushiontired andcU8hlont1red andcushiontired
cushiontired hearses on hand await awaiting awaiting awaiting ¬
ing demand demandDogs demandDop demandDogs
Dogs allowed In any room of the thehejtse theh theboone
boone h including the family room I
Gentlemen G ntle > men can drink smoke swear swearchew sweJrchew swearchew
chew gamble tell shady shad stories star starat sta staat st stat
at the new arrivals or indulge in any anyother anythr anyother
other Innocent amusement t common commonftrstelaR commonflitclasi t tfirstclass >
firstclass hotels in any part or that thacotmtrr th thatcUtTTitrr C CC
cotmtrr cotmtrrFemale C cUtTTitrrFemale ttntr ttntrFemalE
Female bicycle messengers melleng lll on every everyfloor eeryOoo everyfloor
floor floorCouples Couples desiring th thA < e services < rvices of ofminister 1 1minister i iminister
minister will HI kindly leave word at th thoffice thomce the theofflee >
office On of f any afl denomination witi witibe wil wilbe wiIbe
be furnish i t short notk We e stand standin
in with thn th all allParties aUuParths allParties
Parties < ai i < iring to L Lve uye by t tvrtBOow n nwtndow > iwindow
window will wi notify the VTTter 1 nr so that thathe thath thaLthr
he h can an lend I nd his asatetame asatetameHair assisttnueHair
Hair dressing chiropody and man manicuring IIIWteuring meiicuring ¬ t
icuring free tr + of f charge chargeDont cb3 chargeDont e eDo
Dont Do t bl bIw v out the ga ra a If you mu mucommit muC mucommit
commit C puicide n I Ide find some other otherprocess h hprocess r rprocess
process processThe processThe processThe
The clerks are college colJ < Ge gradual gradualcarefully graduatc graduatacarefully
carefully c selected to please everybody everybodyand eve everybolyand bod
and can leftd in prayer play lay dra drapoker drapoke draV draVpoker
poker M1n wn tennis croquet shake the thedice thedIce
dice dance a Jig play billiards bima d tako takoUp taK taKa taksOp
Up a stitch In crochet work lead the thepermap th thnnl1 t1igerinap
permap nnl1 spin a tough yarn arn play m mthe n athe
the cornet and piano put on th t tite titegloves h hgloves < j jgloves
gloves work the growler hold a baby babydeliver balydeliver
deliver d Uer a lecture and wait aU on fory forygentlemen for forrnUemen fcrgentlemen
gentlemen at once They Th y are authority authorityon authori t tOD
on all sporting events throughout the thecountry th t he hecountry
country can talk Dutch French He Hebrew Irebrew e ebrew ¬
brew Navajoe Army Joe Greek Latin LatinChoc
Choctaw Choc taw and Howdedo and whistle whistlethe whbttethe whistlethe
the balance balaneeWashington Washington Star
PROSECUTION PROSECUTION 4 WENT ENTIRELY TOO FAR
Tells a Tale of a L Lawyer wy r and andAn andFn nd ndAn
An Erring Woman WomanNew
eN New York Sun SunIn 8aIaIn SunIn
In the little group of men gathered in inthe IIIue Isthe
the corner of the crab cafe there was one onewhose onewbGee onewbo
whose wbo white hair and mustache in inmarked InJDalkocl Inmarked
marked contrast to his ruddy face stood stoodfor stoodfor stoodfor
for long experience of life If there was wassomething wueomethlntr wassomething
something in his striking appearance appearancewhich appearancewbIeh appearancewhich
which attracted the attention of men mendoming mendtJlId mendOming
doming < into the cafe or passing through throughit
it It there was also that in hi his converse conversation conversetiesi a aun ¬
tion which held tae attention of those thosewin tlMMlewile thosewhe
win were within sound of his voice voiceThey TGleehIey voiceThey
They had been talking about the theof thechanged
changed coudlUons w1 ch obtain obtain ID the thepraC thepractice
praC practice ee of the law nowadays Naa as from frompared tompared eonsgamed
pared with a a time which in the actual actualnumber JCfualnaueber actualnumber
number of years involved was far from fromlong from10bC fromlong
long ago In these Ut itntes I one of the theyounger theyounger
younger Cve men n had said the lawyers who whohave I
have the great reputations who earn in incomes Incomes Incomes ¬
comes are rarely seen In the trial courts courtsIt
It te I as s counsel that they have shown showntheir IIhontheir showntheli I
their strength Their work is done in the thequiet thequiet thequiet
quiet of their secluded offices and agility agilityor
or resourcefulness re in the actual rough roughandtumble roughanclt1l1ll1a1e roughandtumble I
andtumble of the Jury trial has not been beenthe beenhe beenthe
the baste of their success surceesIt
It Is all very much changed from the thetime thetime
time when hen I was in active practice practl said saidthe saidthe saidthe I
the whitehaired old man In those thosedays thMecaS thosedays
days the th Treat lawyer wan all the great greatpleader greatpleader t tpleader
pleader and by that I mean the man who whowas who1as whowas
was the great power with juries not the theman thetrollr theman
man strong In n argument before the su supreme lIUpIeIDe enpromo ¬
promo court It was wa tae trial lawyer the theman theman theman
man who was alway ready for any sort sortof onof sortof
of emergency e that might arise who was wasnever wa wanever wasnever
never taken by surprise urI by anything any thine that thatthe thlltthe thatthe
the other side might do who had been beenthrough beentbroutrh beenthrough
through the opposing side of the ease as asweH awen aswell
wen as hi his own ownhe he was the fellow who whowon whowon whowon
won the big cases and earned the large largefee largefees
fee fees
feeT T I shall never forget to t a caw which I Isaw Isaw I Iw
saw w tried In this thi city a good many man years yearsago yearsago ears j
ago It was a criminal case the defend defendant cfendant ¬ I
ant being bel charred with n murder in the thefirst thefirst
first degree Two Tm of f th the cleverest lev rest law lawyer lawY lawyers ¬
yer Y then at the New ew Tork bar met in inthat inthat hithat I
that trial One O w Wa the th district attorney attoroevthe AttomfVthe attorneythe
the other th the led leading lJtK < nfr counsel coun for th thfens the thet 4 4tense
fens t I n remember ra mb mbPt v the th d deUlftt liKtt with withwhich withwhich
which I followed tb tIM ras cane > a as the trial trialprogressed trialand trialjworressed I
progressed and I noted how verv tTV thor tboronrhly tbo1onarhly thorowhllr
onrhly each man hd f foreseen res ti what the theoiher theot theother
other ot ber would do doanl anl prepared himself to toTBf tomfloft toinset
TBf inset + t it itTh itThe I
Th The was ws no iueatfo i about the th kill killinar killIns
Ins In Tb > defendant had shot A man mantwice mantwlcP I Itwice
twice and both th hniletn h111k > t had tone through throughthe throughthe I In
the heart The e defendant was S a voting votingman youngman o I I1mt
man n who had h hlI lived lI a rather n wild life lifebnt lifehIlt
hIlt he wa w was not at heart eart a Had bit man He Hedeclared Hedei9ard I
declared th tht t the shoo ehoon + tnv had been en entlreJV entlrelT enthreW
threW in Mrat selfdefense eT6 > f > n i > The dead d d man wn wnmuch was Wftlltmuch wasmuch
much larger Ja and stronger fItTon than be and andat andat
at the time t of t the shooting the defendant defendantwas I
was as luftt ttt recovering rN fttinc from a long and seri serious 2IerIOUf sodous ¬
ous Him HimDuring illness 1lJm1118uDurmc illnessDuring
During his bJ Illness he had been cared caredfor caredtor caredfor
for by a woman who hd had an affair affairwith affairwith
with the other man This man came to totheir tothefr totheir
their house on one venliwr and attacked attackedthe I
the woman with hi b fists beating her se severely lie lieIy istsrely ¬
verely Iy The Th defendant Interfered and the thelarce thelaree thelarve
larce man turned on him Then the theyomtK theOU1It theyoung
young OU1It man shot shotTJier shotrisr botr1er
TJier was w a oerci nereeptible > t tI bl interval be between between between ¬
tween the two shots and it was th the con contention contnUon contentlon ¬
tention of the district t t ettornev that in intbat Inthat Inthat
that Interval the young man had time timeenough timeenough thusenough
enough to realtae real fully ru 7 what he was do doing doIII dolug ¬
ing < and to determine deliberately to kill killhte killbill kilthis
bill antagonist an Upon that contentotn the thedistrict thedistrict I
district attorney relied for a conviction convictionof
of murder In the first degree degreeThe I I
The one witness wttn who wh could give direct directtestimony cUrecttestimony directtestimony
testimony as to the shooting was the thewoman tb tbWOMan thewoman
woman She was arrested at the same sametime ametime matetime
time as tb the defendant In fact they sur surrendered asicrendered ¬
rendered together going to the police policestation policestation
station and notifying the police poU of what whatha whathad
ha had aJ I occurred They were held in Jail Jailduring Jailduring It Itdurin
during durin the time before the trial and andwhile andwhile andwhile
while there both were converted and andJoined aDdjoInfd andJoined
Joined the Methodist church churchThe cla churchThe UCb UCbThe
The trial proceeded rapidly and the theprosecution theproeecuUon theproeecuUon
proeecuUon made out a fairly good case casethe caseThe caneThe
The woman had not been indicted and at atthe atthe
the last the prosecution decided not to tocall tocall toesli
call her as 8 a witness The district attor attorney attornE attorncr ¬
ncr nE had become beco convinced that she wa waenUrelv was wasenUreJv wasentirely
entirely on the side of the defendant and andh andbe andhe
h be preferred to try to break the force to of ofher ofher ofher
her testimony on erosnejcamlnaUon erosnejcamlnaUonHe
He had discovered that she had had a acheckered aeheckered acheckered
checkered career and b h figured on belnsr belnsrsble bet n nsib
able sib to show th t1llt > fact from her own lips lipsin lipsIn hIpsIn
in pt P11th ch a way as to discredit her herTh berWObIIUI herThe
Th The woman was put on the stand by bythe bythe bythe
the defense dff and she toM to a slmole slmolestralcrbtforward sftnsUmstraightforward
straightforward story of the shooting shootingwhich shootingwhich hooUnKwbleb
which bore out the contention eo tentfon of the thetfndt de defendnnt dofendent
fendnnt Th Thon sh she was turned over to totn totbe tothe
tn the district attorney for cron trocexatJftn trocexatJftntlon erossezaidination exanlH > a atlon
tlon He H had h hr r rt r over the matter matteraeain matterratl matteralnin
aeain In the old detailed wav that AO AOmany ROmany somany
many lawyers laWYe mnloy trrtnr t nr to read 1fOft the thenry t thedory e eItory
dory nry out so thin that It would WOl1 lo I lose w force forceThn fo foTb tomeThen
Then Tb n h he began on her h rerord fMd Th The de defens d dnlie defense
fens nlie h lait < 1 made no oblecHon to any of ofhis ofhis
his quertions and now as the first one
Salt Lake tbtatrt b bGEO I IGlO
GKO D PYPER Manager ManagerCURTAIN ManacerCURTAIN ManagerCUPTA1N
CURTAIN AT 8 8BEGINS 8BEGiNS 8BEGNS
BEGINS TONIGHT TONIGHTSPBOIAI TONIGHTSPECIAL TONIGHTSPECIAL
SPECIAL SPBOIAI3OAW SPECIALUaUIMS SPECIALMatNs
UaUIMS WNliday aN TrHay at 2 2XLA 2XLdW
3OAW XLA w ac BBLANOBBS BBLANOBBSStupendous ERLANGEBSStupendoua ERLANGERSStupendous
Stupendous Production n of General Lew LewWallaces IewWallace 1mwWa1lees
Wallace WallacesenHur Wa1leesBen
I
Ben enHur enHurDramatized Huri HuriDramaUzed
Dramatized by William Young Music by bySdgar byEd byEdgar
Edgar r SUllman Kelly KellyPKEOER KeUyP1UaB KellyBoxes
PKEOER PKEOERBoxes P1UaBBOXH
Boxes and logos legesParquette 1 5ZO 5ZOParquette O I Iparquette
Parquette mod Dress Dr II Ofrcle Ofrcle1st QO QO1st
1st two rows 1st circle circleIiast cirC1Last 00 00Last I
Last two rows 1st circle circlefamily circleFamily 1150 1150PamUycircle
family PamUycircle circle circleGallery fl0t lO lOGaJ1ery LOOaUary >
Gallery 50 SOUN1QUE
UN1QUE UN1QUETHEATRE 1 TNIQUE TNIQUEI
I THEATRE THEATR116T
167 MAIN STREET STKEBTREFINED TREFINED STREETREFINED
REFINED ENTERTAINMENT FOR FORLADIES FORLADIJ8 FORLADIES
LADIES AND CHILDREN CHILDRENMatinees CHILDRENMatinees CHILDRENMatinees
Matinees 3 and nd 4 Evening Z ao tin t30and tinand 10 10and
and 930 Admission lOc lOcSACRED lOcSACRED beSACRED
SACRED GOR6ERT SDMDAY EVENING J IJ I Io
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Jtearkl bearing on her ncr past life was asked ed the theMentor theMaIor thes5nler
Mentor counsel for the defendant t ram > to toik toJfIeILk toweak
weak ik But the judge was a little bef befOre berlrebb befOrehim < > ra raand
bb him and was already instructing the wit witness witJ ¬ s sfleas
ness J that sh she need n ed not answer a any qixs qixstton q qUon qtiiHon
Hon tile answer to which hlea might In her heropinion hjOropinion iteropinion
opinion tend to > Incriminate or degrade degradeher IIIFadeI <
her
I was w about to ask your honor to so soinstruct eoInstruct soInstruct
instruct the witness s said the defendants defendantslawyer defelldautalawyer defendantslawyer
lawyer Of course we have no objection objectionto oI tlon tlonto
to her telling < anything about herself herselfwhich Jaerltwhich herselfwhich
which she sees ees fit we simply desired to tohave tohave tohave
have her Informed of her rights in the thamatter thet thematter
matter matterI t
I dont t know what sort of coaching h hhad he hehad hehad
had given gh the woman before bef that hut Uutthat huttbat butthat
that struck me aa being about as clover cloverad cltverutlJ dr ver verSb
ad invitation t to a witness te tego ge on as ascould ascould
utlJ rYfan1t 1t teJ
could vr well U be given rYfan in court whether r rWll it itwas itwas
was a hit or not the woman teak the cue cueShe tutShe ineShe
She squared herself to face the district districtattorney dltltrlctattornev districtattorneY
attorney and began to answer ans hIs ques questions que1I0n questions ¬
tions He He had had her record looked up upcarefully upcarefuJiy upcarefully
carefully and now he took her from a one oneaffair oneaffair oneaffair
affair to another with the persistency penl ot ota orbound ofa
a hound on the trail trailThat trailThat trailThat
That is one of th the most dangerous dangerousthings daqerUlIItblngs dangerOusthings
things that a lawyer can do for In In the theexcitement theexcitemEnt theexcitement
excitement of driving home his questions questionsand queatiollland questiasand
and bringing out what he te after h > is islikely islikely
likely to overlook the effect h he Is prod ic icing icffi ¬
ing ffi on the jury I remember noting after afterhe nftErbe ui tsr tsrhe J
he had been on this line for some time timethat timethat timethat
that some of th the jurymen Ju me were looking lookingat Iooklnat
at the witness witne wHti evident sympathy it itwas Itwas itwas
was a terrible ordeal for any woman to toundergo toundeo toundergo
undergo no matter bow abandoned she shemight bemight shemight
might have been beenI
I never caw a woman who had as asmuch asmueh asmuch
much nerve as that witness 8h She atuck atuckto t lItk lItkto uckto
to it like Uk a major She was very quiet quietand qulttBnd quietand
and whitefaced and sometime her v i > ice tlcerth icewas icewas
was rth rthodllt so odllt low that t it could CO d dt dseemed be beard only onlywith o onlywith
with difficulty u but all the t time she sheseemed sheseemed
seemed to be animated only oolyby by the desire desireto d re reto
to answer frankly any question the dis district district dintrict ¬
trict attorney ought ask It seemed i to tosurprise tosurprise tosurprise
surprise him a little to have her meet him
in that manner instead of fighting and
being sulky and perhaps that drove him
farther than he would have tone other otherwise otherwise otherWise ¬
wise wiseBut
But whatever the reason he kept at
it until the inevitable happened and be heanswered bewent bewent
went too tar One queetlon the woman womananswered womananswered
answered straight and with evident sin sincerity sinesrity n ¬
cerity crtt At the next which was no worse worsethan wu wuthan
than many that had preceded p It it she sheclasped sheciaaped he heclasped
clasped her hands qver her face and
broke down utterly sobbing like a child
in spite o of her effort to restrain herself her lf le leIn
In an instant the district attorney aw awwhat IWwt awwhat
what he had done The fat wa was11 was all In Inthe inthe J
the fire There were look in the faces facesOf firesSof
Of the jurymen that bowed very ery plainly plainlywhere phinIywhere DInnlvwhere
where their sympathies lay The diuttri dlatr distrit distritattorney d dattorney t tattorney
attorney stood waiting for the woman to torecover torecover torecover
recover her composure and the lawyers Ji Jifor
for the defense sat t still tm and said nothing
After a little the woman ounan quieted c dolwn dolwnand dowfland wn wnand
and presently facedtha faced the district attorney attorn
again with the acme old simple manner manneralittte Illa mannera nEr
alittte a little apologetic apol Uc if anything for bavin baYing
broken down but ready to go on with wit h
tile ordeal The district attorney at tbl fumbledaround fumbled d
i around a little asked a few unimportant unimportantquestion unimportantquestions portant portantqtIo
question to try to cover up his retreat retreatand retreatand
and sat down downThen downlhen downThen
Then the senior counsel for the defense defensegot
I got up
a It has been stated here In the open
lag I of this case 1M h said Id that since thli thlisnooting thlooU
shooting ooU and du duhave during the time that yoi 0
have been held aw awaiting ltlDtr this tbJ tnat yot 0
have been converted to the ChrisSha Chriaas re
ligton and have Joined a church le 1 that
true trueThe
The woman simply nodded her bead is isassent 15as isassent
assent as entAnd
assentAnd
And are you still a member of that thatchurchr
church asked the lawyer
I lam am ais she said saidThat iBIdThat
That ta all all aid the lawyer and sat satJ
down downHe
downHe He had driven home what he wanted
and the district attorney saw wtlllat that his hiacase hisca his1 <
case was gone It took the Jury only
four minutes tetI to find a verdict of not
guilty l1ty
l1tyCrum1N
Crumbs rom Kansas xAtchJaon lensesAtchison KansasAtchteon
Atchison Globe GlobeWhen GIobeWhen GlobeWhen
When a woman spends p nd a particularly
long 10 time on her knees ta Baying her herpnren herprayera
I prayer at night her husband may know knowhe Jtnowhe knowhe
he bss behaved worse than usual that
I day da dae
We e suppose 8e there are women ta heaven heavenwho beavenwbo heavenwho
who have been there BOt year years who he ar arstill a astill are arestill
still wondering why their husbands nd8 Jont Jontcome iontcome ont ontco
come co half suspecting that some woman is
I detaining them themChurch the theibChurch
I Church White relate rela s that In the early
I days of Whiting preparations Uon8 were being beingmade beingmade
made for a wedding n A man went Into Intothe intothe
the store to buy a present It will be bequite
I quite an affair I suppose the tore storeI toreI
I keeper said aid Not much the customer customerreplied
I replied with a sneer only two twot twoEri4ence kegs kegsSvidenee kessa kessBridence
a t
Svidenee of It ItChicago ItChicago ItChicago
Chicago Evening Pert PertAre PMtAre PeelAre
Are your Intentions serious senor de demanded de demaDded doatanded ¬
manded the father who had come and ¬
denly into the darkened parlor parlorSerious parlorSenous parlorSerious
Serious repeated the th youth who was
holding a MOpound t < pound maiden on his knee tn
Well I I should say so Why Why lOVe been beentraining t
1 training for this
JW JWPRICES
Nlght5c ee The 7icMatlnee26e TheMatinee25c
PRICES PRI CES ys
Matlnee26e Matlnee26eONE Matinee25cON i iONE
ON ONE WfEK WfEKSTARTING TONIGHT T JIt T
STARTING STARTINGThe ST ARTIN6The I IThe
The eminent and popular actress actressJESSIE actressJESSIE actressJESSIE
JESSIE SHIRLEY SHIRLEYand
and her excellent company companyTONIGHT companyTONIGHT companyTONIGHT
TONIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT and
Wednesday Matinee and Night NightPaul NiChtPaUl NightPaul
Paul 1C Potters Potte 8 dramatisation of Du
Maulers masterpiece masterpieceTRJUUBY naaterpieceTRILBYt nasterpieceTRILBY
TRILBY TRJUUBYThursday
Thursday Friday Pr1iiay and Saturday SaturdayMatinee Satur4ayKat1J1ee SaturdayMatinee
Matinee Saturday Saturda at 215 21 U p m mBy m mBy inBy
By special permission of Amelia AmeliaBlngham AmelaV mela melaBlitgham
Blngham V New Yorks great success successA snccesA ucceuA
A MODERN MAtMLEN MAtMLENSEATS
SEATS TS NOWONSALE NOWONSALENovelty NOWON NOW ON SALE SALENovelty
Novelty Theatre Theatreo
60 o W Scond S cond South SouthRefined Southlteftaed C CRefined
Refined vaudeville porfm performasees inaunrn 3 and andt
4 p Po m evening 7 l 830 and 930 Thurs Thursday Thursd Thursday ¬
day d ytur amateur aaat ur night Sacred concert Sun Sunday Sunclay Suny ¬
day y Admission lOc lOcMcCORNICKCO l lOcMYiNTkco c
McCORNICKCO McCORNICKCOBANKERS McCOtNICK MYiNTkco1ANKERS CO COBANKERSi
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