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i
THE MAGICOINTMENT MAGIC MAGICOINTMENT
OINTMENT OINTMENTAn
I
An Old Cobblers Marvelous MarvelousTale MarvelousTale
Tale of o How ow He a Became BecameS BecameSultan
S Sultan ltan of T Turkey and T Took Tooka k ka
a a Trip to the M09n M09nS Mo9n3AIDY
I
ANDY rhlacTAYISIi MacTAVISH tIle old Scotch cobbler cobblerWIlD cobblerwho
S 3AIDY WIlD has often mc mended ded IllY sho shoes s usc used to tell tel1me tellme
me the mo most t amUS1l1g amusing stories about his past paststories paststories
stories so filled with wonders that my eyes used to tobulgo toa
a bulge as I listened As I grew older I came to think thinkthat thinkthat
that all was not exactly true in these tales and when whenI
I was grown up he stopp stopped d telling them to mo Jtl Jtltime Inr
r time I almost forgot them but one rainy day I took tookshelter tookshelter
shelter in his little dusty shop where VilfredHaycs VilfredHaycsWAS
WAS waiting for or tHe old shoemaker to finish pcgg pegbin pegbina nE nEn
then I hoard like 1ikea
n sole on a muchworn shoe and
a T voice ice in thQl distant past the very very samc sametale tale only onlySandy onlySandy
Sandy 3 IaeTavish told t ld it somewhatdiffero somewhat differently differentlyYoull Jy JyYou
You Youll n not be wanting to listen to this stp story y y11Q
1 11Q said to t0g me for I mind having g told it to you ou oulong
long lonejust g agone but this laddie never heard i it t J I was wasjU5t
just relating to him about how I Grime to bQ the theSultan theSultan
Sultan o Turke Turkey no you recall that thatPd thaId
Id like like to hear lcar it again said I L I cant cxactlr ex exa
actlr a t remember how it ended endedI
It endOO ended I continued the fhoemakQr luoonuaker by my mycQIUing mycoming
cQIUing coming to America and becoming a cobbler Itwas It ItWas
Was nIl caused by a little china jar of mng magic c oint ointment ointmcnt
ment or solve solveOh srtlvel
l 011 please hurry and tell mc aU aboutjt r cried criedViII criedr criedWi
Wi ViII red ed eagcrIr a 1 1Dont
tont be hI a tt1Urr Burry Faith a agOo good 1rilc t isoon isoonspoiled i 50011 50011oiled
spoiled oiled b bs oerhQSto etct rlasidl i J1 nth thG a an telling I teas a5a a poor oor oorl
n l and my m unclu uii 1e Donald lIacCallum ore rU1scili rU1scili1e raiscdiInc °
Inc 1e Its1ittle Its little enough we had to eat ei eithdir hqr of us usbut usbut
but aU our houso i warm w Dn and dry 1ift and thats t ats some something something
thing thingh Liug r rMy
h My V uncle was named Owen Cameron of Kir Kircllld KirBald
cllld find h lie s sin m his yo south th a serY8ntpf servant of the theoat 1ie 1ieat
oat at wiztrd Uuldamnnthus Vllcn the wiz wizard wizarddied rd rdliad
died Owen fot111djmiong histhings his things thislittle china chinajtu chinajr
jtu filled with ointment sanm sam as you OU might use on onureqnlwith onr
tt sor0 ureqnlwith id with it Was y as t p pin npor r hllcoy all corerodd rod with withmstic
mstic in tic signi signs and writing that s said id it Vas vas magic mngicQintnlut magicOiittntcnt
Qintnlut and b by merely greasing your palm with withit withit
it one iiii initlht + lut Jntb any 111ywish wish in the world worldgrtiited worldgrtiitedw glIDllcd glIDllcdJw
Jw w O OWCi1 tCIl va6 U6 a strict Presbyte Presbyteripn ipn and > its its1Ui itsinihty
1Ui inihty hty little denli dUttHug would ho have ewitlLwat witl 1yJtihc hcraft hcraftor Rft
01 i lrcelY be bes ill iititliosc b Sdn days 5 they bur burnt n pee peeild pe pel
l ild > h tr that sa s nug Ling S i iy J
1111 y 11 h he ill Id d lefV eft eftaid r this jar to myu nY u uIlO 1tl po poi Don
or p paId
aId MaeCalluuiMore MucCnnum More aud antiyott i you may be e sure after afteriii afterll
iii ll l1Cd he heard rd about it lic Ifever oven vCll touched it itltud itd
ltud d now I wi wish h that I hover 1lwcr hn had oither But after afterl
l U pcrhupg ff rrri jr3is s wortlt ortlr while to have un the w won u uqrrful
4 qrrful ul tldventurea tdYOl tl1ietl und cxperi experiences l1ccs that 1m have come comeJ cometo
J to rut ccm If the end of them an fatS cobblIng for fora or orliving
a living livingI
1 was but t a ladUe then and I fearg fearQgnothing fearQgnothingbut < nothing nothingbut
but a 1 stigkitl stiQk u the lh111 httnds S of the schoolmaster schoolmasterWben schoolmasterWhen
When I was about twelve years ol oldi iq1yWclc iq1yWclcdlid my uncle uncledied
died and much to my untlzcment rn and sorrow sorrow I Iiuul1 Ifound
found that he owed 1r Simon GillicuddY50 so much muchmoney m ch chl1JOl1Y
money that ho seized the old house as pri payment paymentthrowing m nt ntthrowin
throwing me out on the cold bleak mh moot t in the thedl1l1 thedead
dead or o whiter win ter I went 10 the lO I Sc1loolmastor and andJi andked
Ji kJ him to JcL mo sleep in 11m school but butnow butnowthat now nowtlwt
that 110 lJlQXIt Il1Q inwteywas ley was coming from my nyUn Uncle 6 he hetUI1t heterm
term fl 1 it ttcola Ul sJt shoulder uder an me und told mc toCjeop toCjeop1111011g tosleepninng
1111011g the rl rocs rocsNow s suXnw
Now all that I bad in the world asdo from l the the6t e e9f1ut
6t 9f1ut auty clothes cloth on my ooelc was that tiny dliinajar dliinajarand hiIi jar jartncl
and sitting there among amon the r rocks c1 1 thought of it itcl itll
cl remclllbCled what Unde Donald had said 8n d about aboutit aboutits
its it 1Upg nt giettl eul qualities qualitiesFaith 1uuliliesu
u Faith said I if its magic Ill U soon find outhoth out outthetltJll
thetltJll hoth it its any good R l Then I remembered that thatIny thatilly
Iny uncle Ul c1c had often recalled his own uncles words wordsdheJ1 wordst
t hen speukil1g g of the ointment for or he Thad 1ad said saidt1 saidthat
t1 that nt 111 ho wizarVSwriting wi rts wri 1g ga naiefull o full Warning to all allf n nulleJsJq
age ulleJsJq r ryearsoldl s9 f t11 the Jalthat the ointment w1s ten tJlOus t iousand nd ndyenrs
yenrs yearsoldl ld and didnt always work as it should Itsi Its Itsm
m i u gjc v virtue rtm secme scented to wane md f fnde nde n tway ay at the thelftOst themost
most Unexpected une pcctd times und leave the user in 1n the thol thelurch
l lurch reh r i iIVef
rehV IVef V c1 snid idI I t to nl myself Self t if f i it f w works rk all right Tigl1t1nd rightend
end if it docsnt t1 thou ol1 it i small loss to SandyIa SandyIaTa Sandy lla llalavish
Ta lavish h Ill t try a bit and sec secwithotit seei
i withotit more words I rubbed some of f it on onmy
111 my ptlm good and hard and then says I IhLwiilli IS
hLwiilli S lwillt the sdroolm seh1 olnui er cr couldgr3w vQuldgr w f fadt sr to tIle tIleout theoutside
out outside jdo of the schoolhou o door by l his s 101g110sc toDg F FTaw iiose 1 1The
The nex next minute I Beard iettrdnn an awful yell c1J and amJlooking andlooking
looking up 5JIW saw the schoolmaster fast to the door doorJ
J could hardly lardJ believe m my own eyes but WlCn when I got gothre gotthere
there sure enough be wns was hard mid fast as if ifplnntodil1 iflantedin
plnntodil1 lantedin the oak wood woodII woodfit
r
v
II > fit fitn fitatgics O Oand tiu3 n atgics CS in the ointment all rig lit p says I I11J
and 11J t1 lhr tt wished the old rascal off tbe t I > oorand or and ho howas hewas
was free iu a jiffy He glared at mearidranJ ine and ± au i into intothe to toe
the e hpuso hpusoI 1 puso
1 started to walk to Glasgow but aft after r Id7tgaltp Id7tgaltpalout I p p1JOut
1JOut n mile I S3 says og Why not notrido ide rind tlicii t3ieiu I Ilf
u lf led > d the jar B oga a lJJ wishing for or a couch to ch a and ld hors horsinth hprses hprseswith
with ft drfrrcr zl itlfclt1 iQUtman flight heSldc11lc beside me 1n 1nthe in inthe
the road stood mv turnout before bG ore I could look lookaround lookaround
around and I jumpetr m in t t1linD nil1g g lD my man to drive tlrivoto driveto
to the beat hotel in Glasgow The Red Gout 3S it itwa itwas
wa was called C
1
41 I was taB as 8 welcome a3 tho dowers in Ma f31 when 11en I Irovo Idrovo
drovo rovo up 111 that fine coach and tha1nndlbrd camp an P
down to help mc out but Id forgottOli to wish for foriiio or orfine
fine clothes to go with my carriage and he gro grew red redin redin
in the face fucc1when when he saw me meVlat melldliat
Vlat tramp have we Mere he cried Is this thisyou thisour
you our master he asked ofmy of my driver who i instant 1st nt1y nt1ytpphed y yreplied
replied that I wn was n and d then the landlord was puz puzzled mz mzzled
zled d
Have Yogi some soif1e xoomt room s for or melt I Lask k d Tl Thbn ThbnI n nI
I I Crdrcdli ordered him to conduct J11e tothe to them a atton oHliqi forI forIwas for I Iwas
was in 111 disguise as asthc he acandlnavianswere andlavlUnS lCdfter lCdfterJI1 after afteritJP
JI1 itJP He lad me to t1lO4fIIl1d tho trzit t roo roomy in tll h k h te eels rind rindtJl andthen
tJl then n asked m my lams cd 1 didnt d ran t d dare r 7t ll lm hii t I was
1
< ji jifr
fr cTavish 50 says I with a t grand a air m hi9 hi9Righness liishighness
highness the Prince of Eooshy and I am am tiosirous tiosirousof sirous sirousof
of z zfather emait ngvcry ng Very secluded until after the Cz Czar r my myfathcl
father sends me word that its safe tLgp to < at abroad qbrpldher abroadhcre
hcre her
hcreRYell
RYell VeU then you shotild sho fd 1t have ve seen liiiii 1 rl 15 bow v al almost ah ahmost
most to the carpet before Santry San 1 When n De had haddeparted haddopacted
departed I quickly wished myself clothes unnbags unnbagsof and bags bagsr bagsof
of gold in plenty against the time he h csin c b J > h r ck k ktlIut sa sathat
tlIut that h he was n 9ui uif sure lo beforo < n light tu thaVIreally 1 lcal1 Was Wasthe wasthe
the Czars son for RussIans were scarce in In Scotland Scotlandin
in those dais dnsNex ti tiNext
Next d day y I bought a grand rand ma1b1 mat ble m monument monumentand nulDent nulDentand
and sent it back home for or Uncle Donalds Do a1d g grave graveJn graveand
Jn and < l its there tothis day l Ive alwa always rg notic noticed d that thatlat thatwhat
what its lat I dj kill < I for o others always lasted nlthQugh a ou t thttle >
httle profit aside from rom experience onenc that that1J dyer v r gOb gOblv 4 411cllMl n nIt
lv It 11cllMl nJIn the beautifutro bcautiful younSladics ngladi s in Gltsgow Gltsgowb lasgow
b began gan to tnakc e ukc eyes at me and l 1dwr write tc ine m Jv lott loners lonersfor s sfor
for yon see they aU wanted to be mo ifloosian ifloosianprincesses jan janprincesses
princesses and soon I was allcl1g11ged all ngabed niid 1i < prom Dromsed promised
sed to tQDIJ9 o o of th diem m whoso fathcf fathex was tlI < bigbg bi g gcork t tl tcork
cork l merc1uI mere is t there thereEveryUling thereEverything
Everything was going bou g D g along like a fJ ock ckoLMus ckoLMuscovy ofMus ofMuscovy
covy ducks on a pond when the crash came am Faith Faithtwas Faithtwas
twas no crash either just a silent oozingaway oOzing aWa aWaan f fall
an my good lucId I mad made one wish t 5h too inau a x xslipped and i d dsHpped
slipped up 1 1I
I had bags and more bags and morc11i morcTTTTiat y lJ it of ofgold ofgold
gold and silver but instead of walking quietly uiet1 to tothe tothe
the jewelers and buying all tlmtJwanted that lwanted f for rMiss rMissJ30tsy Miss MissI3etsy
J30tsy Ferguson crgpson the young lady I was telling youabout You Youabout
about what did I do but grease niy my palm nj tied < 1 < wish wishfor vishfor
for first a string of di diamonds monds as big ashiekorynuts QSliQK9ry QSliQK9rynuts
nuts bracelets of sapphires an n abold i at t han hanoercd lr all allcovered
covered oercd with green emeralds but nothing Oth 11g caihe caiheI came
1
1 I looked all about the roo roam but tl tlfoy iy didnt didntS110V didntshow
show up Tllen uU of u sudden I rcnlmQ9rcpJl reiiieutipre tire tirewizards Q Qwlzard
wizards warning und I almost fainted wheiif hannsiv hannsivthat sawi sawithat
that all my fine clothes my b bag g f gold go1 il1lr1ir il1lr1irm ai I r dpi dpimy < <
m my love ove letters had vanished in tJw tl wink w I k of an u e eThen ar arThon
Then the landlord came 111 in an seeing 1l r iligSell iligSelllad etl etllad
lad standing there he seized me caned inc nc a si sn eak eakthief ak akthief =
thief who was trying to steal from tbe prince inci inciill 1 2
in a jiffy they tho < had me clapped ill jail 3Iwn thCy tlidi tlidibean
begoutq bean to look for the noosiallpri Roosian prince l anal sootttlie sootttliecharged o1 t c J Jharged
charged me with murdering liimattd him a d co couccaliughis couccaliughisbody 11 cciH g IlI IlIbodJ
body but that aidut c explain plaill aherc hcre Ilisl his horses horsesearriages orscs orscscarriages
carriages and S servants had goad goadThen gOI1 gOI1TIl
TIl Then m t the landlord andJord5aid said that 1 must be9 be one c or th thScar the theScnnainriviniis
Scar Scnnainriviniis m YIanS whom the prince had ad so ffajpd foaj d and andso
50 1 w was s sent in chains to London L l1do1 whoro whorethd t King
had 1 d n me e brought bc before re him to learn what il1 SQ can candinavians n ndmuvIans
dmuvIans wanted wIth the IZuo RV ian prmce1tiff11nlf prmce1tiff11nlfcous prince 1 1T 1Tcousin half half1T =
cous cousin n The more I explained e plai 1ccl th the less s 1heiU ttheylistenpd ttheylistenpdand tal1ctJ tal1ctJfind
find finally the they sent me back to Ojai OjaiSix ln lnSix
Six months I laid there in prison andct and pCelay pCelayI tr h hrbevailcdiny
rbevailcdiny I i11luck ill luck but ut llevcrthough never tltouDgltt of f tr trying tryingthe i g glhe
the magic ointment at all One day an awfql stoni stoniwas fri frios
was os howling outside and ud my cell was liitt r > tfiold tfioldwithin olr olrwithin
within and I was huddled up inJag tryil1S tryil1Swarm tryingto het hetwarm k
warm when I thought of it and t takinb king g t the eJarJiut eJarJiutIrubbc jar Out OutI
Irubbc I rubbed < 1 some of the stuff on my mypulll paliu tn ttasee seeifit seeifitwas i it itwas
was still as greasy and slippcr as s cV ctr < f br bJlf tnever tneverhoping Q QbOPllg
hoping It would be of any llj use fhcn Thenhtiliblas Thenhtiliblasof 4 1 gt gtof t
of wind came that se seemed mcd to rock1he pri prinI n IsU1Q IsU1QI sail sailI
I wish it would blow the old roof off acid ft ilcnrry carry
me hack to London LondonI Londo i > t
I found myself m in n street Unk110Wtl unhnowirtoaiietlitlr unhnowirtoaiietlitlrp ttm1er th 1 1fcrowds
fcrowds p crowds of people hurrying fast and alld fr4thet tQ m mthey th l
they all acted when I a toPcd topI icdthem them i s stions J1 ul s J QU QUt Q u
t tions ns I knew I was ill TJondon T ondoll No 04qdy qdy had ln fillY fillYtJme anytime
time for or ii l ragged bo boy F1U Finally l1y seeiu scelUfi a f gl ilt t ctJ cbaeli cbaelipass ch chpass
pass by I asked a small 111all boy to ten me met 11110 io O owiied Cd it itauci itanal
anal he told me it belonged to the Priri1 Printb tllinis Min crti cr crI
ti I th iliougltt ught I would go see thc Pr Prune tn ti ister nisterand isternd
and nd gcthim get jiim to assist mo But I cOPJdhtgot co ildht vet to toJlim tohim
him 110 matter how hard I tried Fin Finally II l to door doorkeeper doorkeeper
keeper got tired of my persistence and aj akj < J
You Y ou go o an and see the S Sultan 1tan of Tttr1tsj T irkb y = s SQill SQillPorhaJS n nPonta
Ponta PorhaJS is hell talk to you souI S SI
I kuetr ueV that if I c2 could hhbribi bribff the l1n ikOtkcepcr kqlJp I IuJ4 Ieouldsee
eouldsee uJ4 ec the he Ptl Prima e itlinister I1mst r but bqt I hatInp hats noel fUgr iii b bf 0 0ccpt ax
dept the ht little lc Jjai J r I took It out and mdiJfIijl < f zodt d it to to1d
Igo him said 1d and wiiciilie vll a aIets lbe asked WJ what it t iva w f t tO J liim liimIgo qI qIi
Iets i see sceYO you 1 try it IIE it1g it mag n g i itjl IIliet 11 you your youOh y iou
11 R r
i
tIO Oh courto COU Q I never novaroxpcCted5itwqU1dt ox ecteddit u cl Drk o jmt jmtW t tX
X W + lJJ lkicl 1 nv 1ti 1iit v Jlh the gre3C bgrca e all an < slu h14 id
If WJ wish p lj I wtrc yl tiieSultan tile Sultan of of Turkey
1 1T
T eW ey ere h ase if kY y he Mo eonC eonCIn Calf CalfIn a
In an instant I wa wasyvaffed jvafted aeross acrossold la Europeand Europe Europeand
and was sitting Qn on the Divan of f Turkey That Thatswhat Thatmt
what mt hey cnllJt ca it there a altl ouh ou g Ul E England land its theThrone the theThrong
Throng Throne I was was mol mo ink ia hookah oJ ocna Il gillch illehfts illehftstlwy as astunny
tlwy y call the waterpi vnterpl t ttab th there re al1 smoked kcd fiuer fiuertQpaccothnn1 finer
tQpaccothnn1 tab tabaccothan accothan I cv ever r havo h vo since l le t I iii i tell your yourAround youl youltpund
Around tpund 1 me lo ware were many iblelooking ia6IeIoolingineii n with jew jewc1 Jewpled
c1 pled d turbans on their heads and every fifteen min minutes mins
utes s they would bow down to the carpet and sayHail say sayHail
Hail Ali Bnzam Su Sultan fhn of Turkeyand Turkey and son of oft1tcEroPlot ofhe
t1tcEroPlot he Ira het iu1Y Q of their tfCP1 nciI ne lectedt t9dt d do itfoff itfoffwent i off offwent
went their head Bu BuWoneof otieof themf them forgot rgot It The ThoGrand TheGrand
Grand Vizier whose name was Kmvn Bif1 BLfhascll BLfhascllcame asch aschcnmc
came to get my or orders ers for the day and nd when I toM toldhim
11 him Dl to bring bringsbttfore bQforem6811 me all the clevcr1Doysin in order orderto orderto
to make them captains in the thcgu ward rdJ he almost 1most fell feUovcr fellover
over in amazement amazementThell amazementThen
Then I went to insp ins ct some new crown crownjewels jewels jewelsY jewelsYou
Y You o 1 know the Sultan gets a new set of jewels every everywcek everyweek
week and puts the old ones in chests in th the garret garretof
of the palace Imcd I used to go up therQ and play 1 witli witlithem ith iththem
them sometimes whful rImd a a chance to lic e by m1 m1adf m ms
adf s f altbpugl1 that wasntvcri wasnt very of ofJ ten iI for or I vas wasLguarded vas1Urded
1Urded Lguarded strictly all the time for or theres nobo nobody jj Iguess I Iguess
guess in aU the world who is so constantly in dan dangcr danger
gcr of bcin being shot or blown up by a bomb or poisonedts poi i isoneq
soneq sonedts pstho thopoor l > oor S111t SultanEvery 11Eery dish bad tobo tobota tobotasted
ta tasted d bOfpr bat iii O1 i 4 d alJd andThcnvor t1 0v9rstof tof it i r gds gdsat 5t 5tt
t at 1nY rqJuUPA5 rolati psof jif lncli 111 < ih Xf i lld indplenty l nty FQle FQlerb ere ereiO
rb duos os vliQ were veld tob to lie dreaded 1cude for oOi ii 1 li of f Iiemf Iiemfishcd
wished ishcd to occupy the lC Tur Turkish hplan Divan and smoke smokctIJewded t tjeweled
jeweled 113rg1l1e11 113rg1l1e11Theu nargillehThen
Then too I had to order rder a few of my se scn scnHundred 1 1l1undred
Hundred wives to go go back ack into the thceq country tryb trybtll b a athey
tll they Y here e e suspgt l e < t cd pi of wantin 1iJ jp1t another i t r Su S tnrJ tnrJal j
< alfof al of iny 1Y tuuc Uif wasspbLts was PQ1t1JJ n ge eting b 1g acqua acquatntoda acquatntodayitlt nto I Iiy
iy yitlt h p1r sons s n a1 and K daughfers 1l1gl fcArs of f1fich rhtchythgre t tc vt cgthree vttlirccthousand
tlirccthousand three tltousand aild j yt tl ni1yimti i n lI1id1l1 ciiic whht hint d J job jobthatwas b bethn
ethn thatwas wasl i i iV r rWorse
Worse V 1 > > s tlla titan trtrub i 1g to o < remember r Q b9r the name namcoycr of ofevery
oycr every h boy y 111 sch school 11 icried cried Wilfred Wilfredthats Vilfied VilfiedN
N thuts far worse for after aU these un hilll hadthe hillltb
tb the slime last name said Sandy Iforg Ifor et t whatit whatitv what it itvosbutit
v vosbutit bUtit belonged to aU of them themYQu tliemf tliemfYRu
YRu YQu said it was AU Baz3m interruptedthc interruptedthcbo interrupted the theboy
boy bo a
q Olt aOlt tcs that w was S it t1r jlTell n I e as s a iii n th41 thi it I Ihed t tln
hed ln htt1c1 tinitfor ml for funexcept l1 C J1t A camuel 1cltl < 1PgJ cn t tJQ
JQ joyetad d that lat All i ndsoiiiotimes S l1oh l ° = cleplnuuc el 4 4it t night r1l I Iwoul Iwo
woul wo nt S tpalup l p fiJ1tpI1y widr ytlr thp tliotcr4wn rqwn JcveJsz8u1 JcveJsz8u1onuo1 jcvt lst aritl aritlozu
ozu onuo1 c I took about t0 I bushels > usbels taDtlIud t11cm 111 in a ahole ahole
hole Igagintle I4dug in t1re bbdk bzi k garden Qf tli timpti1ace prlr p pof ce l v vtenwishedthat
>
of tenwishedthat tent wished that Lh Lhad d money enougli i Qfiglitogo fogol Jiack JiacktOl aclc aclcto
tOl to T trkeyahddiO rkey n id dig n tllem up p Id Idbe ricl1tl riei then n I1t I1tbctlcoul Illtbe
bctlcoul be Lcould find hcpladri i 111th n tholdark dark tfowc forey r rtl1re r rtheres
tl1re theres S I1 no use wisl wishing ngijw ow i thatthc t1til j jar risiollCfr risiollCfrmh is goire goirelahorcorao
lahorcorao mh w noreUIU J l l4go 2 uS aoked1ilfred aoked1ilfredn1 k P dr4If 1 Jc d < l lj
j > i l lJhl
L < y
ugh Jhl n1 tft gotp f tell f u t One j i tt L Gnt Up t0 t0thb
thb na nai Da i a1 i l t h he ro rfo and old tlnttseptuctls C CCourt file fileCourt
Court Astronomer tr01l0DlCr looking up at the 51 sky ne told toldmo1hathe toldlime
lime mo1hathe That lie gas v sjiloo1 moongazing g3zrng a and d sahJwith sal withi u deep doepFigI1 deepsigh
sigh that 110 wished that he JC were able to visit that thatplanet tLatplanet
planet just once before he died so as compe to bc compe competent
tent to state whether it was as nails lt jimdc gd of gr green greencheese OJl OJlcheese
cheese or not Of coursc course being well 1 educated I Icould Icould
could have told him all about it but I r was its nov now get gQtting getting
ting pretty prat tired of being Sultttn for its not what whatits whatits
its cracked up to be by any mucous and so I said saidV saidWell
Well V cl1 if you lertlb want rnll t to o to the nogn nognp niognperhaps
p perhaps rh ps we might fix it l You see see Ihadnitma Ilmdnt maq e a awish awish
wish since I bQcomc Sultan arid I WAS pretty sure surethe surethe
the power loYcr wasin was in the ointment ointmentall ll r right righttheT ght ghthoCourt
theT hoCourt Court Astronomer AstTo omer smildd smih d a a tort ort of malicious maliciouseniilc
eniilc Sui1 1 e an and d replied repliedit rep 1 IC d I A At
it t were well w n tii1t youiMajes4ltiniself ou jMaje5r himself migb migbtaJtc might mighttaltesuch
taJtc taltesuch such n journ journey y jusVutf dais ti thine thineAnd F FAnd
And wh why S Stlydt h hould lJ l take ak it Jf o th h Tea lc lt lttir
tir tlydt of the tripI trIp I a5 asked ed him himBecause 11m t tne
ne Because ause tIC poor people arc arc d damoring i ring for a aV
V
=
e ee
i
ndu e w win v Sultan Sult n and lld t n Ra Ryal Guard uarqk arc r ev even nj a t ff lis lismOlDo
in mOlDo intent t CollSlaCl1ln r wthio 1110 I ball Jn b their cbQWO eli and anddebiting iu1dhba1jngwhct
dhba1jngwhct debiting svhetliier er Ito fu drown you or r simplycut s n l eut o ootJrh of ofyour
your otJrh head adl adlU > t tBut
U But rye bcelf beettthe bc very best Sultan tlu they y cer cerhad ter terhad
had l I cried Havant I kissed all ll the babies itTul itTuleverybody 1ul 1ulevcrybody
everybody JlavCIit I l kissed ssed aU thQi thie7babict < babiQsund babiQsundcoddledall midi midicoddled
coddledall coddled all the 01 old folks Havcn Huv t < chr cyc en eiiOd eiiOdeverything d dcryth1l1g
everything 111 in the land and tokell takeirirom O ll1 tlieiIrhli q l1 to toSIVO toiro
SIVO iro to the pood Poor J9ivcn Given away ay coal and Ulld wood andsmoking and andiSl1
iSl1 smoking okil1g tobacco 1Vlty v y should they want to drown drownJ
J mo d when they ean candrown drown any nunibor of f my wivesDidnt wives 1
3 Didnt idnt I get up a lottery ttcry for the l public blic whore o every everyBody
1 Body > pygota got aprize prizet Who ordered the bah ttrs s to ImF ImFIbprajqi putofc
Ibprajqi ofc raisins iiilS in the calve cl e and < th the popcorn popcornmen men to
iJ a lnridr iJrii popcorn balls for five cents t t was Wt I IAli
aAli Ali Br1ztu r And now you say that some of themc them themwanttoflre1Ue
waitttofire wanttoflre1Ue me c ot ottc
tc l r ll dbthem seem to wish to d de Il os sav C Cthe Ydut u dc dcclnr dodared
clnr dared the Co Court rt Astronomer I ltQ ligsrr fb ut uthcre dvary dvaryttltere
ttltere ttltereurheii hcre hcrerd
urheii r oud vliy JhY didn t you OU come co o and toll t ll1 nwbolbro ft reJ reJmJ1l
rd I deeinandoil deeinandoilcwliy mJ1l Lq4
cwliy V ytlm thats ts nQ ngne c of my business T I nmh nt 1trcd to to1idttho tott
tt 1idttho dr tile stars acid decipher the > lie Jlcgniygipf nii pf their theirmessage hell hellOOslg
message OOslg not to help JOU you run the 1e c country oul1tr illfde illfdeSul41u ni dear dearSultan
Sultan Beside I forgot all ab aboutit utit until this 1is pry veryminute pry11i1ttQ
minute said aid the 4stronomcr 4stronomcrAnd tstrollomer tstrollomerAnd
And do you too thin think hat I ought tp tobe tobedrowned b barowncd
drowned 3 I asked askedrl t tO
rl O Oh jio uo J think YOI youve VO been tlboq the best bestIq bestxU
Iq rw rweve c bad si since cQ Abdul Azzi zz 1 hv1 who o liv lived d nine ninehundircd o ollUndrcd
llUndrcd yc3r5 ago The fact lS is Y J1Y uye madeyour madeyourselfconimo wnde our ourself
self selfconimo n11 Qi The lcop1e cople wan want a Sultan who isDever isDeverS is novitr novitrseOii
seOii S l of ith the street and who1ivQsin stately solitude solitudenot
nOt not a lllitdhcnrtcd liiud heartemanwho man h trj tricstO1ic11i s t li l th them ncl1 ncl1joy en enjoy
joy life and 50 1h9Y consider you a failure I dont dontblame dontblame
blame you butyou bu ou do not understand this Sultan Sultaubusiness Sultanbusiness
business at alII all cont continued 1u d the Astronomer They Theyreally Theyreally
really want a man m n who makes nakcsthcm them fall aU llntilltho llntillthomud lint in the themud
mud when he rides past on 01 his c1 elephant pli 1t a and d whomakes who whomrlros
makes thempay them pay tn taxes cs and shows them that that ho lios s tIltreal tIlt thereal
real thing Sec Sect111 Seei Seeili
li t111 rrig11t right I cried Ill fix tho them l IUlet thorn thornsee thornsee
see ghat Wh t Id hind 1d of n ruler I ama am l lIts
a Its really too late no now said AitisePtimes AitisePtimesTlieyre A tiscpticUSi tiscpticUSi711l
711l Tlieyre yre going to behead you OU ill the morningNot morning Ulorl1il1gNot
Not n1ucl1 they aint 1 dcclared dec1t1e and I rubbed n1bbcdsomeof rubbedsome
someof some of theointment the ointment on my palm Then I SJdl said saidI
41 I wish we were on the moon mooneI moonNell
Nell eI there we were standing ti111 g on the thcsi side e of ofcrater a ac
crater c rat e r Aso so deep that youqould you could Put this us whole wholc State Stateright Statcri
ri right ht into itand lose it itYYo itWe
YYo We hadnt been there three min mimttes tes bn before ore the thet4urf theO
< O t4urf urt4stl tr groomer nomcr began to totcry cry bitftJr1y 4oddipg 4oddipgS
S so 0 man many Yte tears TS that he h had a d to o uiitr n d dthi i 14hd a d di I Il
< l i for n a handle nn < lK h hiai a i dwhcii h p aI S a gr1u gr1uc oxy ii iies
es c pl lunationliosaidi tionli5 JR ins hS front fromdlstlp dish ppgin nJ went nta at t
6ndin tB mn PQOUldead > ona dead ODe NotJt otlti Jir > r but dry total totalrocks 11 11rocks
rocks not even a little bush and nd t bc temperature temperaturetvss iewperaturcws
ws tvss simply dreadful I was almost frozen OZCIl iu a aquarter aquarter
quarter of O au hour and all dIe time the moon grow growing growing
ing smaller und smaller as as it wa wus > > nn old WOOl al almost tI tImost
most at its finish I saW that prettrsoon pretty soon there therewouldnt therewouldnt
wouldnt bc space enough left for standingrtlm standingrtlmbut
but just thin we had somethi something else to talk about aboutOu aboutOut
Ou Out from the dark crater amine ft an l awful shape shupeIt
It was lIS like 3n immense cate11illarcrawi g up 011 but butits t tits
its < < yes Wcr fiery and it its lUoUthSlOWt tremtll trenicildoas trenicildoasteeth oll ollteCt1
teeth teCt1
teCt1Tll 4
T Tll Las < J Astrenoiner tr n mer shouted Its It n inl0n moontalf moontalfY 11 11And
And 311 angry uric too HUDt gun Y Sire ire fur your lift tr trelse oreke
else shell have Sultan for supper l lYou
5 You bet Ill I d but as I run r n I utftde u quid k wila wilato jh jhto
to l httbR it3 tgaiit iu 011 c earth < rth f1 1 shot awq from tll tllt1i t I Ioil
t1i oil l doe to bullet bull t ui autll lauded ed hero jn in lJ1Iiria lJ1IiriaW1101 Am ri rit
W1101 t oiie Id11evor Id tteve > been be before m nght here 10 i tin this tordy tordyand to ll lland
and then I remeJuocretl theCoult the Court Astr1IOmer Astr1IOmerIustnnUy strenomer strenomerInstantly
Instantly greasn greasing my P palm lm for the ointment ointmflItwas
was all scraped 8erap d off by striking the earth rather ratherhnrd ratherhard
hard I wished tIlt lie might be with me but Lt al1 al13g8in alas alasagain
again the magic bad oozed out ofth of the jtbd Whether Whetherthe Whthcrtbe
the poor man wa was devoured b by the te irCDlCI1JOU irCDlCI1JOUmoonca1f trcmendoumooncalf
mooncalf or not I never WfiS able to to learn although al although
though Iye often spent a d dune 1itc looking at the moon moonthrou moonthrough
throu through h tl teleeoo teleseope to S see if I 04u euuld discover allY allYtmce anytraceof
tmce traceof of him himH himHere
H Here re I was 35811 all dressed up in in tile Sultans richaml rich richaIul
aIul epst JslL clothes shiniJJC shiniii with jcwo1 and t the thegox hn hngriu6l1Jn
griu6l1Jn gox us adgas g given t to DIe by other lings Do taut ltutwltllOtt tautwit
wltllOtt wit toot a cent111 cent ht my pockets People thou Jiougbt bt I Ibcloused Ibelonged
belonged to some circus or s sIt rr U just CQp1c come tu town tfJWnwhenthcy townwhen
whenthcy when ihiey crowded about ine l t itnd ndl you can be sure sureI sureI
I was a mighty gladd lad to bear t ittin in all spe speJlcing ing Ens Enslishl E1I E1Ilish
lish lishlll
lishWhel1 ll Whel1 hen IeXllained to a nic nieerohing JJ w ku fellow where wherlI
I had coins co l1ci frOlube from lie said he wap sorry for m me andhed awl awlhc
hc hed d take me to his room and1 andlend n me some clothes c1othsto
to wc wear n instead of those ou dish things I bad OD ODbitt onbet
bet aite after Itl eha ehang tl my tQt tl thc rascal ran off offtith offwith
with mine J jewclsnnd wc1GaDd all Wlutes Va t e 6 scoundrel scoundrelSo cound reI I ISo
So finding that evcr everybodl boJi has to work here helecYen hereeven
even an exSultanI opened tis shoemaking shop shopmd shopand
md here I nm yet yeti yetlIat et etVJlat i
VJlat lIat b bocanQ nwc s of f the 1e jar ar3 1U asked Yi1frB WilfredMust Yi1frBMust
Must lULY have dropped it wlien I fell or perhaps it itwus itaas
wus in iii m my cl clothes t s alien lieu the ruqt rasgatl rail 1l a away y withcm with withem
em AU I rvish SIl is that hell l H try the ourtment oi1 tment some sometime sometime
time b by tuistakti 1Ui t1k fur cold cream and 1lft19 u l o a foot footWi5h foolIrish
Irish tlmCs aUf all Im sure something like tlutt will willbUPIJCnto willliultl1OUtb
bUPIJCnto Mul such a villain villainCert I ICert
Cert C3clxbct1 1fred fled 1 wish I c U1d find that thatjar thatjar
jar What Tlat wn4t like likeJ likeust
J ust n n1aill white bite china jar jar h1 lfm e they th y use for for53he forsalve
salve ill the thdl drugstorc dru gstorc Perhaps you OU miglitdind it itb itbut
b but t itsuihkth ifs Ullikeh < Pigs might fly added ddg < tSandYI tSandYIsmiling Sandy Sandysmiling
smiling but th theyre re poor birds tt to > gath gather r feathers feathersfrom nthcrs nthcrsfrom
from 1 1Vhcjn e eWlt4it
Vhcjn Wilfred told this > stQr tor t to h his S fdther f andasked and andaskcd11ih1
asked askcd11ih1 him whether JIe thought s such ch another jar jarmigh jarmight
might o istMr ist Mr Hajes Hayesmiled Sfi led alto replied With a afunn i ifulln
fulln tIook flookIve
10 hoard Sandy tell about that j jM ev ever r since t Iwti
wti a cJl i dime e it teas another 1nQth r stor story n Ithink nt
t think nff1i 1 is 11 to ever ulec1is used is idithat tHtbattongue tongue of ofhis o ohis
his UJYbt7j b WALT fQDOUGALL
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