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2 J THE SALT I JotUffi < AKE BffiRALD IJ 11 D itIDAY mAY JAN J 1 2T 2 1905 1 05 SECTION S SECTIONTHREE SECTIONTHREELs CTION THREE THREESucK
6
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u J j = Ls i 1 SucK S UC ttt1 h as Walk W a Ik in In Darkness D Darkn ar k ness uuu ess I IJ By SaruelH Samue I Hopkins uuuu kfrs uu Adams Adars l lu i
I Nal N all the trade b da of o the the he city ciy you ou might mightnot mightn iiIghtI
IN I
not n o find 1 n4sueh such another quaint qualntbuSI qualntbuSInoa i busi business ¬
ness firm as as Solomon John and andBilly andBiy andB11y
Billy Biy Wigg The Th senIorS senior partnerr parterra partherrvas was s ssen agentle
I sen gente gentle tie old giant the junior a brisk briskartd briskand briskaftd
and shaggy hagg Httle JtUe dog It 1 was v va Solo Solomon Soloron Solo1on ¬
mon ron Johns Business buflness usines to stand on pnrcarlng a arcarinji arcariu
rcarinji rcarlng rcariu border borJle orre and sell sel papers paper it l1 was wasBilly wasBiy wasB1llyWtggs
Billy Biy B1llyWtggs yiggs Vhgs business bu lnes to take care of ofIt ot ofhimwliflohe
h1 himwliflohe wnI1c pe dld lId1t t for be was blnd blndItvns blind blindItisaS
It Itvns was our quslnesDr lusinessDr Business Dr Harveys Harveysand Harveysnndm1neto Harvey8nnd
and nndm1neto mne neto1 toj pay pny for our papers and andpass andpsson andpasson
pass psson on but we seldom strictly strcty minded mindedic
l ic Instead we would stop to talk tak to toSolomon toSolomon toSolomon
Solomon John ohn to the detriment of oftrade oftrude oftrade
trade and to be patronized by Billy BillyWigg Bly BlyIg BillyVIg
Wigg VIg Ig who was much puffed pufed up with withsilfimportance wih wihStUlmprtunce withstlfimportanee
silfimportance StUlmprtunce conceiving himself hlmseI to tobt tob tobt
bt b the principal owner of the earth and andsole andsole andi
i sole oie proprietor of Solomon John In Inthe Inlb Ini
i the lb half of which wlleh he was correct correctI
I was very ver fond of Billy Wigs de despite despite dospite ¬
spite his hi airs of superiority Harvey Harveypreferred Harvey
1 preferred old Solomon but this was a asemiprofessional a asemiproCesional asemiprofeslonaI
semiprofessional semiproCesional interest for my med medical medIca mcdlea ¬
lea Ica friend had contracted the pamphlet pamphlethabit pamphlethabit pamphletF
F habit which he indulged before scien scientific scientfe sciontific ¬
tific tfe bodies made up of gentlemen gentemen with withweak wih wihweak withweak
weak eyes who ho knew more about oph ophthalmology ophthalmolog ophthalmology ¬
thalmology thalmolog than can be found In many manyfat manyfat manyi
i fat tomes Solomon John was a a re remarkable remarkable reinarkable ¬
markable case of ot something smething quite quie un unpronounceable unpronounceable unpronounceable ¬
pronounceable and Harvey used to togaze togaze
4 gaze into his eyes ees with wih rapt Intensity Intensitywhile intensiy intensiyhlle Intensitywhile
while hlle Billy Biy Wigg fidgeted fdgete and strug struggled strugled struggled ¬
gled led against agInst the temptation temptton to gnaw gnawsuch gnaws1ch gnawsuch
such s1ch portions portons of him as were within withinreach wihin wihinreach withinreach
reach for Billy iy Wigs didnt understand understandand undertand undertandand
and what hat he didnt understand he dis disapproved dlsalproved disapproved ¬
approved of on principle In the light lightof lSht lShtof lightof
of subsequent events I Ibeleve believe Billys Billysuneasiness Blys Blysuneualne5s Billysuneasiness
uneasiness to have been ben an Instance of ofanimal ot ofanimal
animal prevision previsionTo
To see Billy Biy Wigg rlgg conduct onduct his master masteracross masteracross masteracross
across that mill race of traffic trafic that thatswirled thatswirled thatswirled
swirled between curb and curb as ashe ashedid he hedid hedid
did every morning In time tme for business businesswas businesswas businesswas
was an artistic arttc pleasure Some Something Somethmg Something ¬
thing more than a mere pilot was the thedog thedog thedog
dog rather rther the rudder to whose accu accurate accurate aeonrate ¬
rate direction directon old Solomon responded respondedwith responled responledwit respondedwith
with wit precise and prompt fidelity ftelty A Atug Atug Atug
tug of ot the trouser leg from behind behindvould behindouldbdng behindwould
would ouldbdng bring the ancient newsboy to a ahalt ahaI ahalt
halt haI A gentle gente jerk forward would woulnstart woulc wouldstart
start him again and in obedience to a asteady asteady
steady pull pul to one side or the other he hewould heould
L would ould trustingly trustngly suffer sufer himself hlmse1 to be beconducted beconducted beconducted
conducted around a checked wagon or ora orn ora
a halted haIed cable car All the time tme Billy BillyWigg Biy BiyWlgg BillyWig
Wig would keep up a running conver conversation converBaton convernation ¬
nation Baton made up of admonition admoniton warn warning wan waning warning ¬
ing and ad encouragement encouragementCome encouragement encouragementCome
Come on now nowIn In a series of sharp sharpyaps sharpJaps sharpyaps
yaps Japs as they started from the curb curbPunh curbupu curbi
i upu Push h right ahead Hold hard Thats Thatsall Thats Thatsal Thatsi
i all al right Its is by Hurry now Hurry HurryI Hurl
I said Will do I tell
you Jou as tel you youThen youThen youThen
Then to a toopressing cabby cabbJ in an anangry anang anangry
angry ang bark Whats the matter mater with withyou wih wihou withl
l you ou anyway Trying to run folks folksdown folksdown folksr
r down Hey Well apologetically apologetcaly in inresponse inresponse inresponse
response to a jerk on his string strlngUthee strlngUtheefol strlngthese strlngthesefool these thesefool
fool drivers do stir str me up Wait a bit bitNow bitoV bitow
Now oV for It I And here we are areHow areHow areHow
How many man3 thousand thouslnd times tmes dog and andman andman andman
man had made the trip in safety before beforethe beforethe beforethe
the dire day of the accident accdent not even evenSolomon eenSolomon evenSolomon
Solomon John can reckon Harvey and andI
I had started down town early earl3 while whileour whie whieour whileour
our pair of papervending friends friendschanced friendschanced friendschanced
chanced to be a little ltte late As we wereached wercachod wereached
reached the corner they were ere already
half wav across the street street and Billy BillyWigg BJTy BJTyVigg BillyWigg
Wigg with wih all al allot of his strength of terror terrorwas t terrorsas rror rrora
was a striving to haul Solomon John Johnbackward Johnbackwad Johnbackward
backward backwardWhats backwad backwadWhats backwardWhats
Whats the matter mater with wIh Billysaid BillysaidHarvey BUlysaIdHarey BIlly said saidHarvey <
Harvey Harey for from the sidewalk wecould we wecould wecould
could not then see se the t e cause of his ex excitement excitement cxcitement ¬
citement citementA
A second later the question queto questiovaS was an answered answered ansurered ¬
swered as there plunged into ylev y1e from frombehind frombehind frombehind
behind a car the galloping galoping horse of a aderelict aderelct aderelict
derelict derelct delivery delvery wagon wagonGood wagonGood wagonGood
Good heavens Look Lok at at the old oldman oldman oldman
man I cried and in the same breath breathLook breathuLook breathLook
Look at the dog gasped Harvey HarveyWith Harv HarvVih HarveyWith
With Vih one one mighty jerk Billy Bly Wig had hadtorn hadtorn hadtorn
torn the leash from his masters hand handBereft handfreft handDereft
Bereft freft of his sole guidance in the thun thunder ttm ttmder thunOcr ¬
der and rush of traffic trfic the blind blnd man manstretched manstretched manstretched
stretched out piteous pieous hands Warding Wardingthe
the death he could not see seeBUb seeBilly v vBilly
Billy he quavered where are areyou areyou areyou
you Billy Biy le Come back to me Billy Billydog Bfl Billydog
dog do
dogFor
For once Billy Biy Wigg was deaf dea to t his hismasters hlsmaters lilamasters
masters maters voice He was obeying a more moreimperious mOrehnp moreiuipdrious
imperious hnp rlous call cl that unfathomed nobil nobilIty nobi nobilIty
Ity ly of dog nature that responds so soswiftly soswlCty soswiftly
swiftly swlCty to the summons He was cast castanothers castIng casting
Ing his own le life summonsl in the balance to Sv Svanothers save saveanothers
anothers Straight at the bose bosethroat horse horsethroat horses horsesthroat
throat he launched himself a forlorn forlornhope forlornhope forlornhope
hope hope It I was a a very ver big horse and andBilly andB andBilly
Billy B ly was wa as a very er little ltte dog The up upstroke upstroke upstroke ¬
stroke of the knee caught cught him hlm1ul full he hevas heas hewas
vas as flung fung whirling whirlng fell almost under underthe undertoe underthe
the wheels of a cab rolled ro1ed Into the thegutter theguter thegutter
gutter guter and lay there tere quiet quiet The horse horsehad hore horehad horsebad
had swerved a little ltte not quite quie enough enoughThere
There was a scream sceam and the blind blnd man mandown manucat
went down from the glancing glancng impact impactof
of the shoulder Harvey and I were werebeside werebeside werebcslde
beside him almost as soon as the cross crosswalk cro crosswalk s swalk ¬
walk policeman polceman The three of us car carried earned carned ¬
ned him to the sidewalk sidewalkNo
No need to call Cl an ambulance offi officer orncr olTicer ¬
cer said Harvey urm Im a physician physicianand physicianand physicianand
and the man is a friend of mine mineBedad mineBedad mineBedad
Bedad thin the dawg dawJis is a frind of ofmine ofmme ofmine
mine said the big fellow felow Couldnt Couldntye
ye take him along too sir sirWell sirVelrHthersid sirWelirathersaid
Well Welirathersaid VelrHthersid rathersaid Harvey heartily heartilyWhere heartH heartHVbere heartilyWhere
Where is he he turned to look lok for forthe forthe forthe
the dog dogBilly dogBiy dogBilly
Billy Biy Wigg came crawling crawlng toward us usNever usever usNever
Never ever tell me that dogs dog have no souls soulsThe soulsThe soulsThe
The eyes in Billys Biys shaggy little ltte face faceyearned faceyearned faceyearned
yearned with wih a more than human pas passion passIon passion ¬
sion of anxiety and love as gasping gaspingwith gaspl gaspiiwith g gwih
with wih pain painfor for he had been cruelly cruellyshaken cruell cruellyshakenhe
shaken shakenhe he dragged himself himsel to his hispartners hispartners hispartners
partners face At the touch of at the thewarm thewarm thewarm
warm eager tongue Solomon Johns Johnseyes Johnseyes Johnseyes
eyes opened He stretched out his hishand hishand hishand
hand and burled It in the heavy heav fur furHello furoHeIo furHello
Hello HeIo Billy Biy he le said weakly I Ivas Iwas Ivms
vas afraid you were hurt hurt Are you Jou all allright al allright
right old boy And Billy Biy burrowing burrowinga
a wet nose in Solomon Johns neck neckwept neckwept necksept
wept for joy with loud whines whinesSome whinesSome whinesSome
Some rapid and expert wirepulling wirepullingon wirepulng wirepulngon
on the part of Harvey landed our two twofriends twofrIends twofriends
friends In a private hospital where whereSolomon whereSolomon whereSolomon
Solomon John proved a most grateful gratefuland gratefuland gratefuland
and gentle gente patient patent and Billy Biy Wigg a amost awost aiPost
most tumultuous tumuluous ona on until unti arrange arrangement arrangement arrangement ¬
ment was made for the firm frm to occupy occupyone occupone occupyone
one and the same sme cot Then he be became became became ¬
came tractable even enduring the In Indignity Indigniy Indignity ¬
dignity digniy of a flannel fannel jacket and splints splintswith splnls splnlswih SIllntStitli
with wih a sort of humorous tolerance toleranceI tolerancf tolerancfI
I Every Eer day Harvey Barve came and gazed gazedsoulfully gaz gazedI d dsouIul
I I soulfully souIul Into Solomon Johns glazed glazedeyes glazede
I eyes e eyeswhich eswhlch which is a curious curlols sort of treat
How Winter I Birds Protect the Orchards O rchards i T By yErnest Ernest Harold Baynes oes
Intelligent Inlelgent agriculturist agrlculursl no long longer longer ¬
T THE er allows alows prejudice and superstition superstton supersttonto superstitionto j jto
to interfere with wih lite I s Interests interets he hedesires hedtlre hedesires
desires dtlre In all al cases to act from knowl knowledge knowledge ¬ I
edge ege and reason based either eiher on his hispersonal hIsperonal hispersonal
personal peronal observation observulon or on the expe experience expeIencc experience ¬
rience of some one whose authority he heknows hekows heknows
knows kows to be reliable relable There was wastme jl jltime t ttime
time tme and not eo very ery long ago either eitherwhen eitherwhen eitherwhen
when many believed beleved that an inoffens inoffensive Inofens InofensIve Inoffenslye ¬
ive lady whom from some lack of rea reason reason rcason ¬
son they the had decided to term a uwlch uwlchcould witch witchcould wltchcould
could cause their cattle catte to become dis diseased diseased dlseased ¬
eased and ane die by merely mcrel looking at atthem atthem atthorn
them This 8ul superstition > erstUon passed passe away awayand awa awaand awayand
and its It place was taken by others othersamong othersamong othersamong
among them the idea that many of the thebirds thebird thebirds
birds particularly partcularly the birds of prey preywere preyWEre preywere
were WEre the enemies entmle of the agriculturist agriculturistThis agriculurist agriculuristThis
This superstition superstton wna ws handed hundfd down downfrom downfrom downfrom
from father to son qnd even today todaythere todayj todayjthere todaythere
there are farmers farmer who believe beIeve they are areacting areactng areacting
acting actng for their own Interest by shoot shootIng shootIng shooting
Ing every ever hawk and owl they the see seeOthers seeOthers I
Others still sti more behind the times timesshoot Ume timesshoot
shoot robins and other song birds be because because ¬
cause they take a few berries or grapes grapesThe grapesThe grapesThe
The Intelligent Intelgent farmer Can1er however no nolonger nolonger nolonger
longer goes by guesswork guesork and refuses refusesto
to act because they say that such suchand suchand suchand
and such a thing Is so If I the birds birdswhich bIrdswhich birdswhIch
which frequent his farm are a real r al me menace meiiace ¬
nace to his hisbusinees business buslnee he wants to know knowit Imowi Ue Uenace
it i and he takes the trouble to find fnd out outIf out outIf
If I they are ar doing doln his farm more good goodthan gooUthan goo5than
than harm he e wants to know that that and andwhen andwhen i
when he does doe know It I he is iI Just as asanxibus asanxIus asanxiOus
anxiOus anxIus to protect protet them as his ls grand grandfather grandfather grandfather ¬
father may have been been to destroy d troy them themThe themThe I
The easiest way for the farmer or orfor orfor orfor
for any anyone one else for that matter male to tofind tofnd todud
find fnd out in a a general geeral way which of the thebirds thebirds thebirds
birds are beneficial beefeid and which are areharmful areharmful areharmful
harmful to us Is to write wrie to the t e sec secretary se seeretary ¬
retary retar of agriculture ugrlcu1 re for free pam pamphlets PamI pamphiets ¬
phlets on this subject subje These
t publica publications pubUcatons publications ¬
I tions tons contain the results of careful carefulox carefuloxperiments ex experiments experlments ¬
periments made by the government governmentat
at great gret expense and without preju prejudice prejudloe ¬
dloe for or against the the birds directly
I for the t th a bejiefit lxui cneftb fit of the farmer tmeraip and directy Iir Iirdlredtly hrdlre Indiredily
dlredtly dlre U for or the benefit benofi of5 of the ntfre entirecountry ntfrecountr ntfrecountry
country The best way wa for him to toset get
merit for broken broken collarbone cOlar bone not sane sanctioned sanetioned ¬
tioned toned by any of the authorities authorite who whohave whohave whohave
have written writen on the subject It I soon soonbecame soonbecme soonbecame
became becme evident evdent that Harvey didnt didntcare didn didntcare
care anything anthin about abut the bone he had hadether hadether hadether I
ether designs On 01 a day he came to tothe tothe tothe
the point pointSolomon pointSolomon 1
Solomon John would you like lke to tohave tohove I IhDve
have your sight back backThe backThe I
The blind blnd man sat up In his cot and andpressed andres5ed andpressed
pressed res5ed his hands to his head headDo headDo I
Do you mean it sir he gasped gaspedYou gaspedYouyou I
You Youyou you wouldnt go to fool an old oldman oldman oldman
man about such a thing thingWill thingVil thingWill
Will Vil you let me operate on you ou to tomorrow tomorrov tomorrow ¬
morrow morrowAnything morrovAnything morrow4nything
Anything you think best sir I dont dontquite dontquie dontqnite
quite quie seem to take It all al In yet Jet sir sirnot sirnotthe sirnotthe not notthe
the whole sense of it i But if it does doescome doescome doescome
come out right added Solomon John Johnin Johnin JohnIn
in the simplicity simplciy of his soul wont wontBilly wontBly wontBilly
Billy Bly Wigg be surprised and tickled tickledBilly tckled tckledBly tickledBilly
Billy Bly Wigg raged mightily mlghty and rent rentthe Tentthe rentthe
the garments Earments of his best friends because becauseI
I he was shut out during the operation operationWhen operaton operationWhen
When he was admitted admited after it was wasover wasoer wasover
over he howled tumultuously because becauseSolomon becauseSo becauseSoomon
Solomon So omon John was racked with wih ether ethersickness etherelckness ethereiekness
sickness which he mistook for the thethroes thethroes
throes approaching dissolution dissolutionIt dissoluton dissolutonoIt
II oIt It was a long nerve nere trying tring wait wai but butthe butthe butthe
the day da finally fnaly came cme when the t1e white whitebandages whie whiebandages whitebandages
bandages were removed After Afer the first firstgasp frst frstgasp firstgasp
gasp of rapture Solomon John looked lookedabout lookedabout lookedabout
about him eagerly eagerlyLet eagerlyLet eagerlyLet
Let me see se my dog he said hBIl Billy BillyIs
Is this you as the junior partner partnerlooked partnerlooked partnerlooked
looked with wih anxious and puzzled 1uzzled eyes eyesinto eyesinto eyesinto
into hfs hi face Well youre certainly a amighty amighty
mighty handsome doggy dogg old boy Bil Billy Bi Billy ¬
ly Wigg was as homelier than a stack of
downy or a hairy tvoodpeclter voodecer These Thesetwo Thesetno Thesetv9
two are much alike in general genera appear appearance apperI appearance
ance n e except ex epl that tat the latter is cbnsld cbnsldcrably c conslderably nsld t tCrably
crably larger than the former In Ineither Ineither
either iher case cape caehe he will w1 be found very ve busy busysearching busysearching 1
searching e rchIng for f r and devouring insects insectsoggs Insectslarvae insectseggs
eggs larvae and adult insects Inscts of one onehome onektnd
ktnd or another which have the their theirhome II
home on In or below belo the bark of the thetree thetree thetree i
tree Some of these insects are pests pestsof VCts VCtsot pcts0f I
I
of the worst sort and If I they were not notgathered notgathered notgathered
gathered up by b the birds In the winter winterthe winterthe winterthe
the trees would be alive alvu with wih them In Inthe Inthe Inthe
the spring and In many cases they theywould tbeywould theywoud
would destroy not only the fruit but butin buti1 butlii
in some cases even the trees trce them themselves themsehe themselvei ¬
selves sehe Of course these thee birds carry carryon carryontheir on onjheir ontheir
their warfare all al through the rest of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the year eating ealns ants ant caterpillars oterplars and andcrawlers andcrawler andcrawlers
crawlers crawler of many kinds by b thousands thousandsbut thousand
but the farmer being busy with other othermatters othermutters othermatters
matters will wil not be so likely lkely to see rseethorn seethorn
thorn thor at it itPerhaps I ItPerhaps
Perhaps the next bird to appepr appeprmaybc appejr appejrmaybe appeprmaybe
maybe a nuthatch ntthatch a bird much 11ch small smaller smaUer ¬
er er even than the th downy woodpecker woodpeckerHeroic woodpeckerHeroic woodpeckerHeroic
Heroic Schoolteacher Schoolteacherresume i irmmt
resume rmmt our studies st1dJes There There was another I Idctoutlot
I dctoutlot dctonrftlon from the th cannon and another anotherand anotherand anotherand
and then a crash cah of musketry muslcetr A window
light was knocked knoc < ldout out by b the concussion conbu 8lon 8lonand
J I I and fell l noisily nolsly on the floor The pupils pupis pupisumpcd pupilst1mped
jumped umpcd ti 1 t > in wild wid confusion confusionJIIss conmoni confusionsllss
i I JIIss lUS McKittrick McKitrick arose from her chair chairI
I 1 but not In confusion She was Just mad madThe madI
The Th r he school will wl come away awa from the
I door i atid > nd resume reume Its ls scats sent she said saidi
i Tho school did
I g gll glldihC dihC
i She stood In the center alse with a
I heavy ruler In her hand The pupils pupis were weremore weremore weremore
1 I more afraid to risk an encounter with wltnI
that ruler than the thl possible chance of a astray astry astray
stray stry cannon cnnon ball bal crashing crshing through thrugh the thebuilding theuldlng thebuilding
I building uldlng A teacher techcr vrho ho could run a apchool achool aschool
school while whie people O pIe wero ° being bayoneted bayonetedor
or blown to pieces I ccca right next door as you youIoqr youImlght youmlght
Imlght mlght sa say was too serious a thing thing for forr
r Ioqr olr youthful spirits splrJt to defy even If I she sheI
I t did dldwfar wear w ar spectacles spectaclesi 5petHctes 5petHctesDuring
I I During the entire afternoon the TirIng
i Ijetweon Lwon the two entrl commands continued continuedsometimes contnued contnuedm continuedonietlms
sometimes onietlms m bruiktng breaking Into voleys volleys that thattrnd thatnd
1 ilpuiided nd lmQ Arcadcul drcadfullliuje Wc k V
fWd lebclf tebels DC bctai i ieflt5 ieflt5and c t tt
and t tve YO secretly 3cCty prayed pra pray dor d for the success of 0
tooth is no easy job hated worse bay leaving bayIng ¬
ing ng his partner parner to two such unaorupu unaorupuIgus uT0rUpl uneorupul
Igus l us characters character as he well wel knew us to tobe tobe tobe
be But he knew his business busines and set setabout setabout t
about it with wit all al his energies energiesWhisper eneries enerieslsper energiesWhisper
Whisper lsper now saId the senior part partner partner partner ¬
ner as Billy BI swore under his breath br aU at ata ata ata
a slithery sUther and elusive dime Ive as asfine asfne asfine
fine fne a pairof pair of eyes e es as youd oud want for forstar torslr forstar
star slr gazing gzIng at noonday noondayThen noonda noondaThen noondayThen
Then what on earth earthShhh earthShhh
eart
Shhh Soft Sof and easy eas The boasts boastscocking boasts boastscocking boastscocking
cocking his little Utte ear this thLway way Sure Suretwas Suretwas Suretwas
twas all al on his account sirs sirsOn sir sirsOn
On Billys Bllys account we both ex exclaimed e oxclaimed ¬
claimed in a breath breathYou breathYou I
You didnt think Id Id be faking it ithe i Ithe
he asked reproachfully reproachfullyWe
We Ve didnt and we said sid so s But we werequired werequired werequired
required further enlightenment enlightenmentAll enlghtenment
All Al on account of Billy Bi Wigg there thoresirs thoroSIr theresirs
sirs SIr The eyesight e eslsht was a million milon bless blessings blessings blesstags ¬
ings to me but twas death to poor poorBilly poorrm poorrilly
Billy rm Not a pleasure pleasur in life lfe would he hetake hetuke hetake
take after afer we left ler the hospital When WhenId Whenra Yhcnrd
Id walk Odlk free and easy cas along ulonc the thestreets thestreet thestreets
streets street that looked so pretty pret to my m old oldeyes oJde oldeyes
eyes e es the dogd be becraz crazy with tear that thatsome thatsome thatsome
some harm would come to me le through throughhim through1lm throughhim
him not leading me At the te last h hJust hE he hejust
Just laid down and set out to t die dieJed dieJed10t Hed Hednot hednot
not 10t sleep sleephed hed not eat and the eyes eyeso eyesohlm
o ohlm him when hed look at me were fit fitta ft ftt fitt
ta t make a man weep I sent for a dog dogdoctor dogdoctor dogdoctor
doctor you being away sir put in inSolomon InSolomon inSolomon
Solomon John in polite po1e parenthesis larenthel to tomy tomy
my friend He says The dogs dying dyingof dyingof dingof
of a a broken heart Ive 1e seen It I before beforehe herre herrehe beforehe
he says Whatll I do says I Hell Hellnot Hennot Hellnot
not be content till you are as you ou were
of the other side of the stabbee you youthought youtlought ou outlought
thought tlought you did anyhow anyhowWell anhowel anyhowWell I
Well el Jou I I guess ueS5 youre Joure right there theresaid tberen tberenId theresaid
said Id Redface The modern drama drma is isnot Isnot isnot
not as much of a riot as the old drama dramaused dramau dramaused
used u ed to be but I must say 5a I think the thenew then thenew
new n w style st le Is more refined refinedTush refned refnedTush fined finedTush
Tush said sd the t1e Knocker U More Morerefined Morerefined ore orerefned
refined refned What refinement refnement Is there In Ina Ina Ina
a modern comedy comed in which your our hero herorine heroke heroice
ice pursues another womanshusband womanshusbandor wom usJhusband usJhusbandor
or your hero spends his time tme for five fivej fve fveI fiveepigrainmatle
j epigrammatic epigrammtc acts trying tling to induce an anI another another
I I other mans wife to elope with him himand himII hintand
II and dwell dwel in a corner < rner lot lo In ip ipArcady ipArcadyswept Arcady Arcadyswept Arcad Arcadwept
swept by b ocean breezes oh on the th Install Installment Instal Installment ¬
ment plan I dont don see It Just Jut be because bee1 because ¬
cause e1 use jour ouI villain vlin goes about but looking lookinglike lokin lokinlke lookinglike
like lke a howling howlng swell sweJ in the latest cut cutof cuto cutof
of o evening othes and your heroine heroineis
is the swaggerest swaggerest looking thing that thatever thateer thatever
ever came out of Mrs Osbornes Osbrne s guwn gownfactory guwnfactor guwnfactory
factory factor you ou call cal it i more refined rfued Vice Vicein Vlcohi ice iceiii
in modern clothes cothes and full ful of etiquette etiquetteifc etquette etquetteIf
ifc If Just as offensive oteusive sis s it is in top boots bootsvelvet bootnJet bootsvtlvet
velvet nJet robes and knee nee breeches breehe and 3fd for formy formy formy
my part I like lke the latter later far better betterThe beter beterThe betterThe
The swashbuckling swashbleldlng braidp brax dp has hf at atleast at atleast
least the te courage curge of his Vices Vice which whichour whichyour Yhichyour
your our latter later day da nambypamby nambJpmb white whiteshirted whie whiesi1irted whiteimirted
shirted sepulchre lacks with his hi sneak sneaking snok snok1ng sneaklug ¬
lug ways and 400 front frontWell front frontWell
Well Yel anyhow said Redface RetCace uou uouant you youcant youmant
cant stop these things by buying up all
toe ready to sacrifice sacrifce reality for show showThis showThis
This is i our American Americn weakness weaknes Be Because Beause Because ¬ I
cause my neighbor nel hbor docs thus or so I Itoo rt Ito
too t to Omutdo must do as she shccts sets the example exampleThe exampleThe exampleThe
The pace is tremendous when we are aremarching arcmarcbi aremarching
marching marcbi g to the music mu lc of drums that thatare th3t th3tare thatare
are heralding hcriding an overweening ambition ambitionIf amQilon amQilonI
If I the good French Fren h pastor who wl 0 has beei beeipreaching b beeipreaching eect
preaching in our ears his gospel go pel of the thesimple theImple thesimple
simple life lCe could prevail prevaI upon our wo women wom women ¬
men m n to try tr It in earnest some of cf them
I
had downwards among the twigs twigsVery tWIgs1 twigsVery
Very V < n tame they theY are at this season 6ea50nnnd and andwith andwith I
with wih but a little llte patience patence they will willfeed wll willfeed
feed from ones hands or lips as they theydid theydid theydid
did from frm mine more than tan a a hundred hundredtimes hundredtimes
times thrls last winter They are engaged engagedin
in the same same work as the woodpeckers woodpeckersand woodveeker
and the nuthatches viz the extermina extermination extenlna exterminution ¬
tion ton of myriads of insects which 1C I al allowed allowe albowed ¬
lowed lowe to incresije incr1c unchecked would wouldmake wouldmake
make the work rk of the fruitgrower fruitgrowerheartbreaking fruitgrowerheartbreaking rulgrowcr
heartbreaking and unprofitable unprofitableLet unproftable unproftableet
Let et the farmer now look over the thefields UtefEJds thefields
fields fEJds beyond the orchard and an observe observethat obore observeI
that clearcut figure Uglre of a hawk sailing sailingin slng I
in i1 circles against agaln the sky If I he will willbut wi willbut
but believe it that is a n feathered tCltherod ser servant sr sranl servant ¬
vant anl working conscientiously consientously from fromdawn fromdawn fromdawn
dawn until untl dusk and without wtout r ony ay to torid torid 1 1rid
rid his farm of the rats mice and antirodents other otherrodents other i irodent
rodents rodent which play plaYaueh such havoc > with wlthhis wih wihhis withhis
his property at all al times tmes of the year yearIt y iir iirIt
It I has been ben estimated estmte that the te Hawk Hawkwill hn hawkwill or k kwi
will wi destroy in one year Jear a thousand thousandmice thijusandmice
mice or their equivalent In noxious noxiousinsects noxlougInsects noxiousInsects
insects and the farmer flrJer need not be betold betold betold
told what a thousand mice can cn do to tohis tohis tohis
his fruit trees tree In the course 10Ure of one oneeevere onesevere
severe winter He knows knoWs only too toowell toowel toowell
well wel perhaps that they can kill ki more morethan morethal morethaq
than thal as many trees by b girdling glrdlh1t them themwith thcm thcmwith themwith
with their teeth as I saw many a hun hundred hundrd bundred ¬
dred drd Jrees Jre killed kUed last winter In the thesame thesame thesame
same way wa Now No and then a hawk of ofsome oCsome ofsome
some species will wi get a chicken from fromhis fromhis fromhis
his poultry poultr3 yard but let him not be behasty behasty behasty
hasty to revenge reenge the t c act What other otherworkman otherr
f workman can he get to do so much muchhontt muchI
I r honest work at so small smal a wage In Inthat Inthat Inthat
that hollow ho1ow apple tree by the barn tarn he hemay
I I may find fnd a screech owl dozing and at atdusk atdusk
I dusk this softwinged sotwlngd bird bir will wl take takeup takeup takeup
up the work worl of mousehultins mousehuItng whyere whyerethe why whyereI re rethe
I the hawk left ler off offIf ot offI
I If I the farmer farer will wI only study tudo the tl1e hab habits hab habIs habI ¬
I its Is of the te birds he sees see before under undertaking undertaln unthirI ¬
I taking taln to shoot any of them tb m and nd then thenshoot thenshoot thent
t shoot only those which he proves prO S have havedone h haveI c cdone
I done him more harm harm than gopd lila litecrops lilaIr9ps
Ir9ps crops will be b larger Jar er and an his hl 1hibrpp fciHl l l fpr tprR fprI
I t8dcr Twdcr vd r and i4h hot t will wI never Tvcep 1 hlni hlniawake l ni niThwake
Thwake awake R at night J L
After Afe some sme fumbling fumblng under unde his coat coathe cat catl1e coathe
he produced a placard artfully nrtul de designed destged dosigned ¬
signed stged In large and flourishing nourihing letters lettersThis letter lettersThis
This This was the order of It ItI i iI itI
I Am NOT Blind B1mt but the theDog theDo theDog
Dog Do Thinks I Am AmBilly AmS Am AmBly
S S SBilly
Billy Bly Wigg Vi g seemed pleased because becauseHarvey bocausoHare becauseHarvey
Harvey Hare kicked me No doubt he would wouldhave wouldhaYe wouldhave
have been equally equal pleased p1sed if I had hadkicked badk hadkekecl
kicked k eked Harvey But it happened h ppened to be beI b beI
I who laughed Jau oed Harvey covered covere It up upby upb upby
by b soberly telling teln Solomon John Joh that thatthe thatthe thatthe
the sign sig was sure to be a grand gnd suc success success sueceas ¬
cess cessIt cess ceasIt
It was wa a a grand gnnd success suc quite qulte stupen stupendous supn supndous stupendous ¬
dous in i fact Old Sol Sl did a business businesson ouslnet
have havemade ha hamade havemade
on the strength of it i that would
made his eyes e os pop out If ho hadnt hadntk hadntkept
k kept pt them tight tght shut out of respect rct r spect to toBillys t tBllys toBillys
Billys Bllys prejudices Reporters found his hissimplicity hisstmpUcl idasimplicity
simplicity stmpUcl and naive honesty a mine mlll of ofgood ofgood ofgood
good stuff stur and the picture of the thefirm thefrm thefirm
firm frm was In all al the papers BlUy Wigg Wiggbegan Wlggbogan Wiggbegan
began to suffer sufer from fm pper a swelled swele head headbecame headbcame headbecame
became bcame haughty not to say Sf snobbish snobbishBut snobbishBut snobbishBut
But the fierce flrce light lght of publicity publeQ wore woreur worpu woreunon
ur u unon on the simple soul oul of Solomon John JohnHe JohnHe ohn ohnHe
He discarded disarded the extraordinary etraordinar placard placardard placardand placardand
and was glad when he faded away awayfrom awaOfom awayfrom
from fame Billy Biy wasnt W8It He liked lke no notoriety notoriety notoriety ¬
toriety as well as authority authorityBilly authorl authorityBilly
Billy Bm continued con lnued to exercise hte hi au authority aut authority ¬
thority t ori Perhaps Perhap tyranny would wo ld be benearer belarer benearer
nearer larer the th mark Bot even so meek a asoul a asul asoul
soul sul as that of Solomon John has ha limits limitst lmis lmisf
t f endurance endurnce beyond which it I is not notwell notveI notwell
well veI to press prss Only the other day da it itxvas itwas itwas
was that the old man said to Harvey Harveyvhlle Han Hanhle Harveyhile
vhlle hle hile Billy Biy Wigg was otherwise ot1erwise en engaged enga engaged ¬
gaged gagedIts ga gagedIts ed eduIs
uIs Its as bad as being bing a henpecked henpeckedhusband henpckd henpckdlasband henpeckedhusband
husband lasband sir Last night as r was wasquietly waquiel was wasquietly
quietly quiel stepping out to t take a mug of ofale
I ale with wih some friends frltnds Billy Biy wakes wako up upand upnd upand
and nd the fuss he makes make arouses the theneighborhood
I neighborhood neigborhood Sure he wouldwt wouldlt hark harkto harkt
I to t my m going goln at all al You can cn see his histeeth histeeth
teeth marks mark on my m shin this minute minutesir minutesir minutesir
sir Could you Jou give me m Something Somethingharmless ometh1ngharmless
harmless to put In his food thatd make makehim makehim makehim
him sleep sIN > the sounder sounderHarvey sounderHaney sounderHarvey
Harvey said hed think about abut It I He Hewasnt Hewasnt Hewasnt
wasnt obliged oblged to Less Le than a week weeklater wek weklater weeklater
later he got ot a note in the mail mailDear mal mailDear
Dear Sir SIrI SirI I could not stand stn it I any anylonger anylnger anylcnger
longer lnger I have Absconded Abscoded to Buffalo Buffalot Bufalo Bufalotn
t tn Take a Rest Rest Pleasebe Ples Please be Good Go to toj tl tlIBm toI
j IBm I Billy Wigg I enclose his Board and andLodging andLodging andLodging
Lodging any place you Put him He He is isa isa isa
a good Dog but too Bossy I am Go Going GoIng Going ¬
ing to See Things Thing till tl my rn Eyes Eye get getTired getTired getTired
Tired I will wi come back In Future FutureYrs Future FutureYrs
Yrs respectfully respectfullySOLOMON repectul3o repectul3oSOLOMON respectfullySOLOMON
SOLOMON JO BOLES BOLESP BOLES
Good GoodThe GoodThe CoodYThe P S S1 I know kow you u will wI Treat ot Billy BillyGood Bily BilyGood BillyCoodY
The enclosure was a twentydollar twentydollarbill t tolal
bill bl It I was the price of freedom reoAm and andcheap andcheap andcheap
cheap at the price priceCopyright prce prceCopright priceCopyright
Copyright by S S S McClure eCure Co CoHASTY CoHASTY
0 C I IH
HASTY H STY CORRECTION CORRECTIONChicago CORRECTIONClleajo CORRECTIONiCkieago
Chicago Clleajo Trlburte TrlburteMrs TrJbulc TrJbulcrs Tribuitetrs
Mrs trs rs Gaswall Gaswel at t the concert eoncettWbat eoncettWbathorrible eonce What Whathorrible Whathorrible
horrible discord discordMrs 4lscordI IecordMrs
music musicMrs m Mrs I Mannerborn MannerbornWhy rBnnrborYh Why thats thats Wagner Wagnermusic Wager Wagerm Wagnermusic
Mrs I GasBwoll GRswelCertninh GasawellCertainly Cerainly V As s I wn was say saving sa saInl saying ¬
ing Inl what hat horrible discord dlserd Vosner Olrer 1 1 g to tosome tosome tOsome
some people pCplc
The Th Stage 15he h Reflections P so of a Knocker K BY ByjohnKendrickBangs John KendrickAJangs J
6 6
H
k O you know what I would do if I IIJ Ih Ihatl
IJ 0 had h Carnegies money said the theKnocker theKnocker theKnocker
Knocker with a a fierce ferce whack whackupon whackupn whackupon
upon the table that made even the theNorth theorth theNorth
upn mae
North orth American Review jump up Into Intothe Intothe intothe
the air airYes airYesJoud airYesyoud
Yes YesJoud Yesyoud youd probably blow bl v somebody somebodyto somebody10a
to 10a a box of matches mat hes or a a glass of ofvichy ofvieh3 ofvichy
vichy vieh3 retorted the genial genl Redface RedfaceAs
As I understand it your our seeming seemingtightness seeminglghtnes seemingtightness
tightness lghtnes about the pocket IS due not to toparsimony loparlmon tonarsimony I
parsimony parlmon but to the absent treat treatment treatmout treatmoat ¬
moat to which the treasury department departmentsubjects departmentsubjec departmentsubjects
subjects subjec your pocket pocketNothing pocketuNothlng pocketNothing
Nothing of the sort said the theKnocker theKnocker theKnocker
Knocker I dont spend my m funds fundsblowing fundsblowln fundsblowing
blowing blowln you OU fellows felows to cocktails cocktais and ci cigarettes c cigarettes ¬
garettes garetes because I dont see any an reason reasonwhy reasonwh reasonwhy
why wh J 1 should You dont expect me to toliny topay toiay
pay iay your our dues do you youNo youNo 7 7No
No No I dont dontWell dontrel dontWell
Well rel then there is no reason why whyI
I should pay your our house charges chargeseither chargeseiher chargeseither
either eiher said the Knocker Im Im not notgoing notging notgoing
going ging to get myself mseI posted on the fit fifteenth fC fitteeflth ¬ 1
teenth just to gain a temporary temporarJ popu popularity popularity ¬
larity larit with you genials But If I had hadCarnegies hadCarneges hadI II
I Carnegies Carneges money Id Id have some fun funwith funwih funa
with wih certain people in this town that thatought thatought thatought
a ought to be jacked up with wih a sudden suddenjerk suddenjerk suddenjerk
jerk Id Id devote a couple of millions miions to tobuying tobuylns tobuying
buying buylns up every eer seat in every theater theaterIn
In the city for a week eek
Gee you must mus have a high opinion opinionof i
of the current plays la sn laughed Red Redface nedface fledface
face faceOn
On the contrary contrarythere theyre perfectly perfectlyrptien perCecUJ perfectlyrotten
rptien roten rotten returned the Knocker Id Idbuy Id Idbu3 Idbuy
buy bu3 those seats Sat just to show my m con contempt con contempt contempt ¬
tempt for em emBosh emBosh emBosh
Bosh Knocker said Redface The Thedays Thedas Thedays
days have gone by when a man could couldpack couldpack couldpack
pack a theater teater with wih a lot of thugs to tojeer tojeer tojeer
jeer the stuff stut he doesnt like lke off of the thestage thestage
stage If I youve really real got ot a grievance grievanceagainst grievanceagainst grievanceagainst
against the theater dont go Register Registerthe
the protest that goes with wih thatsilent thatsilentvote that thatsilentvote sient sientvote
vote we hear so much about In cam campaign campaign campaign ¬
paign times tme timesthe the vote vote thats going to do dosuch dosuch dosuch
such terrible things and then goes fish fishIng fishIng sh shIn
Ing In on election electon day dayYou do doYou dayYou
You have no imagination imaginaton Redface Redfacesneered Redfacesneered Redfacesneered
sneered the Knocker What good goodwould goodwould goodwould
would a band of hissing thugs do me meMy mel meMy
My l scorn would be be shown in a very verymuch ver vermuch verymuch
much simpler way wa for the moment the thetickets thetckets thetickets
tickets tckets were delivered delvered at my house Id Idturn Id Idturn Idturn
turn em over to my furnace man and andhave andhave andhave
have him run my fires fres with em for a acouple acouple acouple
couple of days Then every blooming bloomingshow blooIlng blooIlngshow blooningshow
show In town would play to empty emptyhouses empthouses emptyhouses
houses for a week That would w uld give givethe givethe givethe
the managers manager a jolt jolel jolteli jolteliI eh ehI 7
01 I dont think so said sid Redface For Fordont Fordont Fordont
dont you see Knocker the manager managerdoesnt managerdoesnt managerdoesnt
doesnt bother about the house as long longas
as S the box office is sold out
V Well rel the actors would feel it It by byJingo byJingo
Jingo said the Knocker and so sowould sowould sowould
would the fellows felows that write the plays playsand p1a playsapd s sapd
apd theyre theJrq tho tefone theonea ones Im 111 after afer Actorshtiinp Actors Actorshump ctors ctorsump
hump ump I djmtbdligTc tKercfare lerd twp twpreal t tieal p pr
real r al actors acorlUve actorsltllve < jfilive tbl today tod toda Tine e whole hole tet felt feltand kltand kitand
and kaboodle of em are a lot of show showcase showcase showcase
case men and women pleasant plea ant enough enoughto
to t look at but as for acting actngGreat actngGreatScot actingGreat actingGreatScott Great GreatScott
Scott Scot why the stage Ihsteajlof IhstqIof being a aschool aschool asbhool
school of acting actng has become an acade academy academ academy ¬
my m of behavior Take any anyohe one of your yourmatinee yourmatinee our ourmatnee
matinee matnee idols for instance Perfectly Perfectlycharming Perfectbcharmin Perfectlycharming
charming charmin gentlemen sentfmen from the top of oftheir oftbeir oftheir
their heads to the tips tps of their patent patentleathers patentleathers patentleathers 1
leathers but they are not actors actorstheyre actor actorstheyre
theyre behaviors You go to see them themin themIn themin
in one of these modern moder snapshots of so social socIal social ¬
cial life that they call cal plays arid ard what whatHappens whatHappens whathappens
Happens You see a gentlemanwalk genteman gentleman walk In Inapd innhd Inarid
arid out or a a drawing room rooin You see see a ahighly ahighly ahighly
highly polished polshed man of the world with withall wih wihal withall
all al the vices vice and none of the virtues virtuesfor virtue virtuesfor
for two acts and then in the third act actthe atthe actthe
the situation sJtuaton is reversed reere < virtue tri triumphs triumphs tn tnurnphs ¬
umphs and the curtain falls fals upon the thehero thohero thehero
hero and heroine sitting sitng down to a cup cupof cupof cupof
of tea How many man lumps sweetheart sweetheartshe swethlartr swethlartrshe svecthartrshe
she says s s One smile smie from those sweet sweetlips sweetlps sweetlips
lips lps for mine says he down comes comesthe comcsthe comesthe
the curtain and the audience audlene thrilled thrilledwith thried thriedwith thrilledwith
with the power of the situation situaton gasps gaspsGreat gasps gaspsCtea gaspsGreat
Great Ctea Charming Chntmlng The real thing at atlastl atlasU atlast
last and then goes home and plays
tiddledywinks tddledwinks until unti matinee matnee day da comes come comesaround j jaround iaround
around again The men and women womenwho womenwho
who do these stunts become beome the great greatactors greata greatactors
actors a < tor of the time tme and the l drama dramathat drama dramathat I
that was va once full iull ul of vltridli yltr vitriol l of sparkle sparkleoripirit sparldeor sparkleOtspirit
oripirit or phit ana fiction p Uon becomes eCml ecoires ES as in inspiring inspiring ¬
spiring ns r s t glass glas of milk mik and as po potent pot iottflt ¬
tent t nt to stir str the tht lie sou SOUl as a pint Int of pink pinklemonade pik pikIrmonndc pinklranonadc
lemonade The educational tdurtonal value of ofthje ufU ofthe
the U drama ofthe hcjur is along the 11e lines lineslaid lnes lineslaid
1qr
laid down by b o the books of etiquette etiquetteand etquete etqueteand etlluetteand j
and the Ladies Ldles Kirrside Er side Companion CompanionIt CompanionJ
J It teaches men men what buttons to but button ¬ I Iton Iton
ton on their waistcoats waistcoat and how they the theyshake I I
shake hands hand in polite poltl society societ It Itteaches I Itteaches
teaches teache the women the latest wrinkles wrinklesin I
in gowns how to sit si down in a drawing drawingroom drwing drwingroom drawingroom
room and Ind how to evince deep emotion emotionover emoton emotionover 1
over the tragic compilations cmplcatons of a fi fioclock i i iocloek
oclock tea without ihout showing It I But Butof lur lurf
of 4 f the oldtime oldtme thing where passion passionxvas I IWas
Was not chilled chiEd by b politeness where it itv i itV
v us S the heart and not the dressmaker dressmakerthat dressmakertt dressmakerthat
that wits ath the central c ntnl theme of the thestory thctor thestory
story tor of the good old days da s when ac acUrrs actrs actcrs
Urrs trs threw each other over the footj foot footIithtf tootlights
lights Iithtf head h a < first fl5t into iVo the bass ba s drpm drpmhia drpmntd i ihrd
hrd where here villains dl i1lins ilfs were pushed off offprecipices of offpecipices
precipices or sent skating skatng down Niag Niagara Niagara Niagunit ¬
ara Falls as the penalty plnaly of their vii viilainy 1 j
lany lany nothing remains remanst remainsthose those ose days are aregone arcgone aregone
gone Sockand Sock and buskin havegiven have giyen giyenplace iyen iyenIace j jplace
place Iace to silk sl1 openwprk hose ho c and peek peeka peekaboo ek eknboo
a nboo boo shirtwaists shlrtwal Cayenne Ca enne pepper has
departed that the sodamint drop may maycome ma macome mayconic
come into its Is own Why h even the glo glories glortes gb gbrfes ¬
ries of the voice that once sounded the thedepths tbed thedpths
depths d pths of of our souls have hayt departed from fromour frOu frOucur fromCur
cur Thespians The plans In place of the reso resonrnt rcso1fnt resoiIrflt
nrnt 1fnt thunder of a Forests voice we wehave wehave wehave
have the tinkletinkle tnkletnkle of a I simpering simperingFavershack simperIngFavershack i iFavershack
Favershack The The gurgle of a Barrett Barrettthat Barrettt Barretttiat
that t at used uSfd to iako akn us wonder whether whetherhe
he gargled his throat with witb a a mixture mixtureo
of o gravel and carpet tacks has given givenpiace ghence givenpiace
piace ce to the soft ladylike lad 1ke tenor squeak squeakf
pC f a Hackersham and the vocal ocal notes notesof notesof
of a Booth that used to reach from fromthe
the subcellars subcel r of a playhouse to the therafters therafer therafters
rafters rafer of heaven have yielded ieTded place to tothe tothe tothe
the canarylike canarYlke pipings piping of the matinee matineeidol matnee matneeol matineeidol
idol ol of 0 the hour I heard John McCuI McCuIIcugh McCulicugh cCul cCullugh
<
Icugh lugh once in a play called Virginius Virginiusc
and I c give Jru you my word tat that when the
old man got his dander daJder up u and began beganto be an
to tell lel Mr 1lr George W Appius Claudius Claudiuswhat Claudiushat Claudiuswhat
what hat he hl thought thou ht of him and his Sir flirtatious Sirways r ¬
tatious ways if it you ou hadnt known what whatwas whatus
was as going on youd have thought a afirstclassdog aftstclass afirstclass j
firstclassdog ftstclass firstclass dog fight fght had broken out outsomewhere outsumewhere outsomewhere
somewhere Those fellows were vocal vocalavalanches vocalaalanches vocalavalanches
avalanches and when they theJo stabbed stabbedeach stabbedeuch stabbedeach
each other on the stage it didnt remind remindyou remindyou
you ou of a cook putting puttng chicken liverson liversona lerson lersona
a skewer or a xylophone player tap tapping tappIflg ¬
ping another fellows felows ribs with wih a flat flatstick fat flatstick
stick s k but < itwas It was a real stab tab and if ifyou IfOU Ifyou
you OU didnt dldn t see see the t daggr sticking out
before says the dog doctor It It was a aminute j
minute before I sensed what he meant meant meantThen I IThen
Then my heart got thick and sick In Inside insi inide ¬
side si ide e me Blind Blnd I says SS Is that what whatyou whatu whatybu
you u mean You old fool says the thedog thedog thedog
dog doctor cant you OU do a bit of play playacting p1Q playacting
acting aetng Youve had enough practice prctce in inthe inthe inthe 1
V
the part he says saysOver sys sysOer saysOver
Over I wont and got my m stick stck and andput andput andput
put on the old shade that I hadnt hadt ever everthought everthought I
thought to use us again thanks to you yousir yousir yousir
sir and taptapped taptappec across the thl Hoar foQr to toBilly toBI toBilly
Billy BI Wigg Come on Billy Bi says I II Ir II
I I want you ou to take me out for a walk walkBilly walkBiy walkBilly
Billy Biy jumped up with wih a kind of choky chokybark chokylark chokybark
bark lark and I hugged Billy Biy and Billy Billyhugrged Bibo Bibohuged Billyhugged
hugged huged me and weve been doing busi business busine business ¬
I ness ne on the corner ever since sinceThere sinceThere sinceThere
There Was was as a long pause Harveys Harveysexpression Harveysexpression Harveysexpression
expression was a queer I felt fel a little littlequeer Itte Itteqe littlequeer
queer qe r myself my lt It I was a queer que r story you youknow youl you1now
I know l now Finally FInaly I asked the old man if ifbusiness i Ifbusiness
business busines was good Not that I partic particularly paric pariculary artie artieularly ¬
ularly ulary yearned to know but it seemed seemedto semed semedto
I to be time tme to say somethingNIcely something somethingNicely omethin omethinNICl
Nicely NICl sir thank you said sid Solo SoloI
I I mon John But I want to ask you Is IsIt
It i a dishonesty disonesty think thik you for me to be bewearing
i wearing my shade like lke a blind blnd man manand manI manand
I I I and me able to see a a flea fea on the end of ofBilly ofI
Billy Bi Wiggs tail tl the length of a block blockaway blockaway blockaway
I I away The Lords Lordsbeen been mighty good goodto goodto
1 to me sir siryou you and the Lord Lordgivtng LordgivIngI giving givingme
I I me back my sight said Solomon John Johnsimply Johnsimply Johnsimply
11 simply turning to Harvey and I Iwouldnt Iwouldnt Iwouldnt
wouldnt want to do anything an thlng that thatwasnt thatwasnt thatwasnt
i
wasnt just ust square squarei t tI I II
I wouldnt let it i weigh on my mind mindsaid minds mindsid
said s id Harvey HarveyId Hlrve HlrveId HarveyId
Id Id been thinking of a bit of a sign signproceeded slnproceeced signproceeded
proceeded proceeced Solomon John ohn UA A friend of ofmine ofmine ofmine
mine printed It I out for me me but the theideas thelas theideas
ideas las my own
the seats seat in the theatres thetre and leaving leavingthem levln levlnt
them t em empty If I things are a 8 as bad as asyou IS
ou say they the o are a let the people go o lo loset 1 1Ced
set t them and get disgusted < lsg5ted with wih them themThats thenThats
Thats Tat the the way Buy the tle seats st and andgive andgive
give em away to the th people pople who w e will willevince wi willevilice
evince e11ce their displeasure dlsples In a a material materialway materlaathnts materiaLw
way w athnts thats the proper propr method methodHm mpthoduHmweU methodHrnwell
uHmweU Hm well maybe Ina be said sid the tle Knock Knocker ¬
er ere Either Eiter that or devete the money moneyto mon < y
to providing the audience with wih disin disinfectants disinfeetants ¬
fectants Ccctats ch to be passed pasd by b the te water ater boy boych b boych
Thats a bully bu1y idea laughed h Ubhe old oldRedface oldRedface oldRedface
Redface Why dont you youBecause youBecause youBecuse
Because Becuse said the Knocker 01 01havent I Ihavent Ihavent
havent got Carnegies Carnegs money mon y yet and andI
I m not likely lkel to get It I On the con contrary contrary ¬
trary he Is i more likely lkely to get mine be before b brr beftre ¬
fore rr I get his the way wa the financial financialcurrent fnancial fnancialC1rrent financialcurrent
current C1rrent Is setting seting You couldnt lend lendme lendme Iedme
me seven dollars could you Redface RedfaceWhat RedCaceI RedfaeeWhat
What would you ou do with wih It i asked askedthe askedthe askedthe
I the other otherId otherId otherId
Id Id begin on my r plan lan first frt said sid the theKnocker theKnocker theKnocker
Knocker Id Id buy four seats seat for Let Letty Lett Letty
ty t of the Garbage Patch tonight and andthen andthen andthen
then stayhome sta hom all al evening We could couldget coutdidea couldget
get an idea of f how the scheme would wouldwork wouldNo wouldwork
work workNo
No said Redface Retce I cant Jet you youhave youLave OU
have 1 2e seven dollars dolar Ive Ie only got four fournd fournd fourznd
znd nd I owe twentyfive twentyfve of that already alreadyCopyright aleady aleadyCopyright alreadyCopyright
Copyright 1995 by b K H Holmes
Mistress L The he Household HouseholdDrudge Drudge o By B y Margaret M argaretE E Sangster
1 6 6 A 6
RIOT nOT the maid of all al work In the thekitchen thework
I
NOT I kitchen kichen but the mistress mistres of all allwork al alork I
work ork in the drawing room Is the thefamily thefamiy thefamily
family famiy drudge drud drudgln in these thee United Unite States StatesShe StatesShe StatesShe
She who presides reldes over the home Is not notmerely ntmerely notmerely
merely Its officer ofcer in chief but also its itsservant Is Issevant itsservant
sevant servant in chief In our family famiy life lifeA lfe lfeA lifeA
A woman who had made a first frst visit visitto visitto visitto
to England Engla remarked wonderingly that thather thather thather
her friends In London lndon and the prov provinces provine provlaces ¬
laces ine alike alke seemed never to be In a ahurry ahurry ahurry
hurry An air of leisure Jeisre pervaded pervaded their theirhousehold theirhQusehold theirhousehold
household economy eonomy There seemed to tobo tobo tob
bo b time enough for everything evething The Thedays Thedays Thedays
days tme were not mortgaged mortggd In advance advanceThe advanceThe
The children chidren were In a place of happy happysubordination happysubordinaton happysubordination
subordination subordinaton to their t olr elders and while whiletheir whie whiletheir I ItheIr
their true Interests Inteests wore carefully carefuly con consulted consuIed consuited ¬
suited suIed they tey did not crowd Into the theforeground theQroground theQroground
Qroground and an usurp u urp all al the privileges privilegesAn prilege prilegeA
An A English Englsh visitor visior here for the first firsttime frst frsttime firsttlrne
time exclaimed exclaime on the contrary lu luamazement luamzement inamazement
amazement at the number of things thingsher thingsher
her amzement hostess hostes had to do every ever day not at atthe atthe atthe
she had to man manage maiage ¬
the number of things thing mal malpe
age but that actually atualy in whole or in inpart Inpat inpart
part pat devolved upon upn her brain and andliands ad adbands andbands
bands It I confuses confuse me said the lady ladyto ladYt ladyto
to t be in the lhe whirl whir of business which I Ifind Ifnd Ifind
find fnd wherever I go In this country countryCThG countryho countryirho
CThG ho American Americn wife wie and mother keeps keepshouee keepsh4le keepshotise
houee pays the t1e bills bis gets on with wih very veryincompetent ver verIncompetnt veryincompetent
h4le
incompetent Incompetnt assistance from her do domestics domolc domestics ¬
mestics and assumes aSumes that she Is doing doingonly dl dlonl delagonly
only molc onl her ler duty In many places she has hasmuch basmuch hasmuch
much trouble truble to secure hired hire help ana anathe and andthe andthe
in California or 35 3i and
the offer ofer as a Calfornia B
40 0 a month to a a housemaid docs d es notroUevo not notroUevo notrelieve
roUevo the th situation situaton efficient efcient house housemaids housenuUds houseninids ¬
maids In quantities quanttle being beinJ nonexistent nonexistentA
A woman In nrnny wanYlJhg nianyIllagds villages s of o the mid middle middle middIe ¬
dle west west Isthe envy other of her neighbors neighborsand t lghbr lghbrand
and Justly ju bY f fgh she can be sure either of ofa ora ofa
a tolerably tloably wellftrained 1 1taincd maid or o of of oflat a alai abat
lat nflrcsB nres who 10 Knows knO1g how ow to l w woti rti andIroi andirer and andirorM
Iroi irorM who ho will wil not ruin her li r woolens nor nortoarher 1 norr <
toarher toar toa her linennor lnen linen rQrdesl nof destroy o the color of ofhop ofhor ofher
r hop > shirtwaists slilr sIiirt wist Waists and nqt her children childrenfrojcits c cjijldrenifrqets Jdren Jdrenrr
frojcits rr ks Tine fh working w rkllg contingent cntn nl of ofh ofhnahood w < i imatthood
1 matthood nahood Te demand daandhigh high wages andex andexpa and ex expet
4 pa pet t inordinate in rJinato gratitude tall Ge for thelr t1eIx well wellpaid tenpaid ell ellpaid
paid jrervices crlcec eitiCQS and in return returnxender returnxenderwhal1 render renderwhatever renderwhaber
whatever whal1 whaber paid they tQ please pl a Exceptions Ex < eptons there therearetUt tlerc tlercare thereare
aretUt are but I am a1 speaking po klng pf Q the tW rule ruleAmerican ruleAmor ruleAmerican
are American Amor an hoUaaftiives hou1fWiv c lese their t elt bloom bloomand bloomand bloomand
and wear put iut ut their tb l youth oJth and strength strengthin
in the we dally dft dryflgery driagery that robs them themtop themtoe
top oarly of hotfe bope bo cheer ceer and vitality vitalityThat vlaUt vlaUtThat vItalityThat
to That the house mistress Is often oren In Inthese Inthese intuiese
these days a D a college colege graduate Juduate who can canread cn cnread canread
read Greek and advanced advance German GermanMakes Ger Gersakes Germanniakes
Makes no manner of difference diference She Shedoos ShedO Shed0013
doos sakes dO Bridgets work with wlt more than thanBridgets thal1Brdgets thaiBridgets
Bridgets > brains and in addition ndditon she sheoversee sheoero sheoversow
Brdgets and andtucks andtuck aridtiickii
oversee Laddies Latin Latn exercises exerciss
tucks oero Lassies dancing danelnl school shool frocks frocksplays frocksplays
plays tuck duots with wih her young lady lad daugh daughter daughhrr daughter ¬
plas ter In the to halfhour after supper lPer and andreads anJrads andreads
reads abtruse reviews r Jcs in ii foreign Corel n quai quaitarlies QunrteJ quarP4
tarlies before b oac she he goes ges to bed If she shebelong shebelong shebelong
teJ
P4 belong TO t a club plus every eer other en enu ¬
u V
gagement g3gem mt that crushes her tc the earth earthshe earlhfh earthshe
she fh has to prepare tapers rap rs on every et sub subject subjec subject ¬
ject jec und undr r the sun and having pre prepared pr prpared ¬
pared them she has to read them them be before before before ¬
fore her peers peer This caps the climax climaxof clmax clmaxof
of drudgery drud l For a woman womn ten fifteen fifteenor hteen hteenor lit teen teenor
or twenty twent years out out ofschool orshol of school to study studywth studywilh studywth
wth groping diligence dlg nce or with wih keen kpen enthuslasn enthusiasrn en enthusiasm ¬
thusiasm thuslasn according a < to her hcr tempera temperament temperament teiup ra ramont ¬
ment the Italian Ialan renaissance or the theearly theearly theearly
early Victorian poets or the women omen of
the thres tn es of Cromwell Cromwel Is no 1 slight slght task taskMother taskuloth taskMothi
uloth Mother r is writing her paper say the thechildren thechildren
children < hldren creeping past her hE door < oor wit wi wihushed wii wiihushed a ahushed I
hushed voicesand voices and muffled mUfedst steps Tha Thamost Tliamost he
most amiable of women is Irritable In Insuch insch insuch
such circumstances crcumstances and It is i as well wellnot wei wUnot
not to stir her up meedlessly upineedlesslyi meellessly meellesslyj meedlesslyJt
< Jt j t V VIs
Is i there a cure ctr curefor for thijs tht tlit tlitstate 0cknovljidggA 0cknovljidggAstate kJ
state of things Nobody Noboy with eyes tyes wigg de denSes den2es deriles
riles that American Americanwomen women of the great t
the th same sa Information Inforaton Is to so 0 out ut ori orihis 01 01his i ihis
his farm and into 11t the country COl ltr stir stjrrrounding sttrrounding stirrounding
rounding it i and watch igtchlhe the birde blrdent blrdenttheir at attheir nttheir i
their daily daly work not just jUlt when they
happen to be in the cherry cher tree or orth orthpCultry the thepoultry ibidpoultry i
poultry pCultry yard ard but all al thrQugh the year yearHe yearHe I
He may not have time tme to do this dur during durIng during ¬ j
ing warm weather but even in winter winterhe winterl winterhe
he can Cln get some slight slght Idea of the thevalue thevalue
value of the wild wid birds by carefully carefullywatching carefullywatching aTouly aToulywatching I I
watching those which are on his hlsprein hlspreinises prem premises premi50s ¬
ises at this tils season Let him go o into intohis Intohis intohis
his orchard and see se forhimself for hlr hhrielf 5clf what whatsome whatsome whatsopie
some of the th birds are doing doln for hl hlfruit hlfrui hifruit
fruit frui trees trecsProbabJy treesProbably treesProbably
Probably one of the first frt he wilt wl see seewill seewUI seewill
will be a woodpecker of some some kind kindI ltnd ltnd2nd kindand
I and in that case he is sure sure to see seevery a avery avery
very useful bird Of the forty odd oddspecies oddspecies dd ddspecies
species and fnd subspecies subspccs of woodpeckers woodpeckersin woodpeckers
in this country only anI one is somotimRS somotimRSdestructive SOIQUmps SOIQUmpsd sometmnsdestructivd
destructive d slclve to the trees This is the thejellow theelow theeUow
jellow elow eUow bellied beled sapsucker but as he hefloes hedoes
floes not usually usuaI winter north of Vir Virginia Virgi Virginia ¬
ginia gi la It Is not likely lkely that he h will wi be beeeen beecn
eeen e ecn n here her Ten to one i It will wi be beI a aI aI
I noticed notctd in a recent mail mal story stor about aboutthe ahoutthe aboutthe
the war In the Orient Orlcutthat that the te writer says saysthat saysthat
that General Kurokl planned the battle batte sa3 at atTaltse LitTaIts 1 1Tals
Taltse Tals river rver and then the calmly clml proceeded Jroceeed to tofish tofsh tofish
fish fsh For minnows minnow while whie tho sheila were wereflying werefylnS wereflying
flying fylnS aijd a1d mon men were bayonetinr bayoletn one an another anothr another ¬
other remarked exState xStat Senator Wil William Wil11am VI ¬
liam lam H Sears uVlle While one cannot CelnnO help helpapplauding hl helpapplauding >
applauding the he superb nerve of the little littlefighters Jtte JtteClghters littlefighters
fighters across the sea I want to say lay that thatI
I knew a tall tal woman teacher of Missouri Missouriwho Missouriwho
who beat the gallant glant Japanese general to toIt toIt
It I as regards nerve by two or three de degrees dogrees ¬
grees
greesMiss Miss Lizzie McKHtrick cl was the h hero heroine herome ¬
ine I remember r well tJi the c W31y W31yh day because becauseIt iIt
It marked marke my nv 14th 1th birthday W31yC and it C was wasthe WIS wasthe Ithe
the end en of fh the t c summer term ter of school schoolAug schoolAug
Aug 8 8 1861 1861The 181 ISBLThe
The little ltte log lo house was about seven sevenmiles sevenmies sevenmiles
miles south of Callao and not fnr nr from fromthe fromthe fromthe
mies
the Chorlton Charlon river A few days earlier earlierthe ealer ealerthe earlIerthe
the Confederate forces oree tinder ndo General Por Porter Porter Porter ¬
ter and the Federals Federls commanded by Gen Genoral GenQral Genqral
Qral Wolfolk Vololk met in battle batte at Klrksvillo Klrksvilloarid Klrksvl Kirksvillcadti
arid ard afterward aCerard the Confederate COredcrut Coiifederntcp retreated retreatedtfuthwanl retreatedluthwurd retreatedsputliward
tfuthwanl luthwurd along the th Chnrlton river riverShe rver rverW riverV
V W We 0 were Ct drowsily row Uo tot tlunitirlg m lJU 0 our ur bQks bQksQui boqks boqkswjjii
wjjii Qui we lui llcsrd tlii h Bulen sullen 9 of jt jtIii 1 1u
Iii fle distance Wt Qfd i lIH lIHhe upitt upittthe
the he u window tl had ld t10 ticn at j t the l teacher teacherShe earlierShe
She frowned and motioned motoned for or ua uutiJ u
hay In January anuat but the eyes that thatlooked thatIOoked thatlooked
looked on him were as those th se of a moth mothe mothe1
IOoked
e e1 en when she first frt sees her babe babeUnhapplness babeUnhappiness
Unhappiness was the portion porton of Billy Billyin Biy Biyli
in li the days that followed folowed A partner partnerwho partnerwho partnerwho
who wandered about unchaperoned and andeluded
eluded obstacles ob1acles without wihout relying on his hissense
sense 5fnSe of ot of touch was quite quie beyond his hiscomprehension hiscomprehension hiscomprehension
comprehension So he sulked consist consistently consistenty consistently ¬
ently enty until Ultl the time tme came for leaving leavingthe leavingthe
the hospital Then he chinked up a bit bitthinking bit bitthinking
thinking presumably that Solomon SolomonJohn SolomonJohn SolomonJohn
John would resume his old habit of ofblind ofblnd ofblind
blind blnd reliance relance upon him when once the thedoors thedoors thedoors
doors had closed behind them Poor PoorBilly PoorBiy PoorBilly
Billy BillyIt Biy BillyIt
BiyI It I was three weeks week after the opera operat operatpn operation
t tiqn tpn that they left lef Solomon John being beingdischarged beingdischarged II
discharged as cured cure Harvey H arvey exulted exultedHe exultedHe
He said it I was a a great geat operation and andproved andprved andproved
proved prved things I 1 thought thopght myself It Iti Itws Itwas
i was a mean trick on Billy ly Wigg My Myunprofessional MyunprofessIonal
unprofessional diagnosis diagosis was that he hewas hewas hewas
was on the road to becoming a chronic chronicmclanchollac chronicmelancholiac
becomlng
mclanchollac mclanchollacThe melancholiacThe Iancholac I
The he partners called caled on Harvey soon soonafter soonatter soonafter
I after the departure depat re from the hospital hospitalThey hospitl hospitlThey hospitalThey
They were a study stud Y in psychological pSJchoJogical an antithesis antitimesis ¬
tithesis Ut esls Solomon Sol mo John ohn bubbling bubblng over overt overwith
I with boyish happiness happtne Billy Bi EiblyWigg Wigg aged agedI
t I wlth th the weight eight of f woe oc he h was carry carryIng crry crrylrg carrylnig I
Ing lrg The old man man was was touchingly touchinglygateCul touchinglygrateful
1 grateful gateCul but his alljTsurreptltfously al ally surrepttouslr surreptIouslr es essayed esayed ¬ i
sayed tJed to bite a piece out of Harveys Harveysleg 1arvQs i
leg when his back was turned He Henursed HenUned Henursed
nursed nUned an unavenged wrong wrongMonths wrongontha wrongMonths
Months ontha naesedbpfore pssedbeforc we saw the pair pairagain pairngain pairagain
again We returned from frm our European Europeanvacation Europeanvacaton Europeanvacation
vacation vacaton confident Nnfdent of fnding finding them on onthe ontht onthe
the sameold same ld corner cortr and sure sur enough enoughthere enoughthere < nQughthere
there they were But Bta as we approached
middle mhdlc class cass the host Irst of women whose whoselVU5bandsareQnj5alarJes whoseIuapds
lVU5bandsareQnj5alarJes JiuJ Iuapds m < rcQn iidlLlriCS lujc ur Q engaged in inbusiness inuslnes9 inbusiness
business which hlch brings in small smal or flue nuctuUn fluetuatIng ¬
tuUn incomesJiavoJar JncomesJlL ej r too much to toto toh tocL
to cL < h Perhaps Pezliapsthis this isc Is why the first frst wife wifeor wifeof ivifeot
or many a good map mat1 drops by the way wayliiher wayUJnor wayllihor
liiher 19 ta and leaves lea a vacant chair for forher forhtH forher
ea vacint
her successor stc esor chosen after an interval intervalofiSrief Intenalorrie Intervalofjief
ofiSrief and loneliness 10n lJnest to fill fl The sefc sefcond se seend C Cond
ond wife Is said to reap the harvest harvestwhich harve5tyhlcp harvestwhich
which yhlcp the he first wife sowed Oed in painful lnC l
Harvey seized me 1e by the arm armGood armGood J
Good heavens he ens Bob Bop Look L ok at the old oldman oldman oldman
man I i iWhats
manVhats IWhats
Whats wrong with 1h him said I ISe Ino Iftc
Se looks Just the same sanfe as he e used to toJust toust toJust
Just ust the isame rm as he used to echoed echoedHarvey echoedHalve echoedHarvey
Harvey Halve bitterly biterl Eyeshade and all allAll al allAll
All Al my m work gone gne for nothing Poor Poorold Poorold Poorold
old boy boyBilly boyuBIY boyBIlly
uBIY Billy Wiggs all right right anyway said saidI
I as that superior superor animal greeted geeted us uswith uswith uswith
with every cver Indication Indicaton of excitement excitementThink cxciement cxciementThlnk excitementThink
Think so said Harvey It I strikes strikesme
me that it isnt exactly qxa xacty tiy welcome that thathestrying thathes thathes
hestrying hes trIng trying to express expre Then in a alouder alouder alouder
louder voice oice to Solomon John How did didit didi didIt
it i happen old Sol SolAt SolAt
At the sound of his voice voIc Solomon SolomonJohn SolomonJohn SolomonJohn
John whirled about and started strted to tothrust totrst tothrust
thrust trst up up his shade as if Involuntarily InvoluntarilyThen Involuntariy
Then he held out tremulous temulous hands cry crying cryIng cryIng ¬
ing ingWhat
What What Is that you ou Dr Harvey HarveyGod HarOe HarveyGod
God bless you sir And is Mr Roberts Robertswith Robrt Robertawith
with wih you ou Well well wel but this does me megood megood megood
good Youre sight for I
a sore eyes eyesNot eyesUNot eyesNot
Not for yours our Solomon John JohnAnd JohnAnd I IAnd
And why not then Whilst Whisto I for forgot forJ forJgot I Igot
got he broke off of scaredly scaredl jerking his hishead hishead Ihead
head toward Billy Bm y Wigg Wi g who held us usall usall
all under jealous scrutiny crutny Walt a abreath abreath abreath
breath breathThrusting breathThrusting IThrstnJ
Thrusting ThrstnJ his hand Into his pocket pockethe
he whipped it out suddenly suddenl3 A flight fght of ofcoins ofcoins ofcoins
coins scattered scatterd and tinkled tnkled and rolled rolleddiversely roled rolleddiversely idiversely
diversely on the sidewalk Dear me mecried m mcried mecried
cried the old man mln cunningly Thcjold Thcjoldfool The jold joldfool ld ldfool
fool that I am Ill Il never be rich this thisway thisway hisway
way Pick them thtm up Billy Bib boy boyBilly boyBmy boyBilly
Billy hated it i for picking piking small smal coins coinsfrom coinstrom coinsfrom
from a smooth pavement with lip lp and
selfdenial and continual c drudgery Is Isthere Isthere isthere
there a cure for the bother the strain strainthe striu striuthe strainthe
the weary wear dreary drear round of of o toil toi thai thaiblots thablot thatblotsout <
blots blot blotsout out the romance rmanee and takesawiy takesawiythe takes takesaatvthe a wy wythe
the joy and nd kills l < ls the sentiment Eenlment that thatshould thatshould thatshould
should sweeten Yeeten every evcr cup Why must mustwomen mustwom mustwomCn
women wom n die dietqe retQsG retQsGA too s sor sorAaur on j
Assuredly A Aaur 5ur dly JY thereJsa there s a remedy reted for every everyill eer eeri everyill
ill i Jff if people ppt arebraye arebrY frank frnk and inde independent Indcpendent mdcpendent ¬
pendent We are ala all a bit too anxious anxiousto anxiousootforvard
to put LE the best t foot ootforvard forward rvard a little
n
and quite different fent In appearance appearnce ana anamanners an anImanners
Cflt
manners mannersi mannersIt i It I may l a bea be a whitebreasted whitebreastedor whitebrealel 1
or a ared redbreastednuthatch redIceasted astednuthat nuthatch h but bulla in either eithercase eIher I I Iease
case hewill he > will be seen to be very ver im important lmportunt importaimtItti ¬
portant portaimtItti Jittle lUr pejeopage not a harder harderworker harderworker
worker than the woodpecker perhaps perhapsbut perhapsbut perhapsbut I
but with wih a greater geater appearance appearnce of bus bustle buste bustIe ¬
tIe te The Th woodpecker usually usualy moves movesfrom movesfrom
from a lower point poit to a higher hlghcr or side sidevise sideilse
vise if i necessary ne necesaryseldom ce ary seldom down a tree treefor treefor
for any distance and never head first firstI firstIn
I in this direction The nuthatch seems seemsto seemsto
to have no particular rule about this thiswhen thiswhen
when he wants to go up he goes up upand upand
and when he wants to go down down downhe downhe
he goes and head first every time timesometimes timesometimes
sometimes pausing in the most absurd absurdattitudes I Iattitudes
attitudes with his neck stuck out at atright atright
right angles angl from the trunk to eye an anobserver anobserver
observer who may be rude cnoush to tostund tostand
stand and watch him himOr himOr
Or our farmer may see a band of ofchickadees ofchickadees
chickadees ofwhose of whose Identity no one onecan one onecan
can ever be in doubt since they re repeat repeat ¬
peat their own name over and over overwherever overwherever
wherever they go as they swing often oftenPorter oftenPorter
Porter and his men Tho fighting was wasjust wa waJust
just across the hills and looking lookingthrough lookingthrough
through the windows wo could see the thesmoke thesmoke
smoke rising from the valley
It vas sn a hard task to kcc koch > ouf oufj oirthoughts
j thoughts on our books with such a thrill thrilling thrillIng ¬
ing event jso near us In our Imagination Imaginationevery
every tlrr tIo Q th the canons sooko ve saw sawwhole sawwhole
whole platoons of Tfnen torn to pieces and andtheir andtheir
their dismembered limbs sailing skyward skywardOnce skywardOnce
Once in awhile a cheer would come float floating floating ¬
ing across the hjlJs and wo hoped it was wasour wasour
our side and that we could holler with withthem withthem
them themBut
But that teacher of ours grim alert alertand alertand
and determined seemed to be unusually unusuallysuccessful
successful in finding something for us to todo todo
do to keep our minds from the battle battleThe battleThe
The ions afternoon session ended nt ntlast atlast
last and ns we bade our teacher a hur hurried hurned ¬
ned farewell she admonished us not to togo togo
go too near where the fighting was She Sheneednt Sheneednt
neednt have done that but I suppose she shethought Sh Shthought
thought It would make her conscience conscienceeasier coascienceeasier
easier if any of us were Inclined to get in inthe iiithe
the way of the bullets bulletswhich which we were werenot werenot
not notAs
As for herself I believe if her way wayhjtnic ay aylumic
hjtnic red l aoroca JIj the battlgfleld shQ shQwould liii liiiatould
atould would hiv hthti < y cammaliJcd the lli soldiarsjoto soldiarsjotoLfiRusc soldie soldieaSc
LfiRusc aSc firms till she got up upnerve She htt httnerve
nerve
at least might cease to be drudges an1 an1become anibecome
become V VI
personages personagesI
I remember a a woman whose life in inher iiiher
her Kentuckyhome went softly as an anidyl anidyl
idyl or a dream In tranquil sorority sarenitvbetween sororitybetween
between 8 and 9 her family breakfasted breakfastedand
and then the little cedar tub was wasbrought wasbrought
brought In with hot water and towels towelsand towelsand
and with her own hands she washed washedand washedand
and wiped the fragile china and the theheavy theheavy
heavy silver precious as having asso associations associations ¬
ciations with her mother and her hergrandmother he hegrandmother
grandmother With her to wash the thobreakfast thebreakfast
breakfast things was to perform a rite riteof riteof
of some importance and solemnity Tbs Thssacred Tbssacred
sacred duty over madam proceeded to
her room and spent an hour In her de devotional ¬
votional reading this too never inter interrupted interrupted ¬
rupted Her gardening her friend friendher friendher
her husband her church her children childrenoccupied childrenoccupied
occupied her long leisurely day She Shewas Si Siwas
was deeply read in standard literature literaturequoted literaturequoted
quoted Milton and Shakespeare was wasfamiliar wa wafamiliar
familiar with Diekens and Thackeray Thackerayand
and Browning and was to her finger fingertips fingertips ¬
tips cultivated elegant and distin distinguishcd distiiiguished
guishcd Hers wa was the crowning dLs dLsnity dL dLnity
nity of repose reposeThe
C C CThe
The American woman being a adrudge adrudge
drudge Decause life exacts too much of ofher
her and she has lost the old secret of ofsimplicity ofsimplicIty
simplicity is at the mercy of her hrrnerves heriierVes
nerves Her tones sharpen her bry brypuckers brs brspuckers
puckers lines of anxiety are drawn drawnabout drawnabout
about her mouth and she ages fast fastShe fastShe
She tries to do too much In too short a atime atime
time She attempts so many things thingsthat thingsthat
that none are well d dne no God help her herfor herV
V for the conditions and the atmosphere atmosphereand
and the accepted standards are at pre protont preont
ont in combination to drag her down downShe downV
She breaks after awhile and goes to a asanitarium asanitarium
V sanitarium or she breaks altogether altogetherand
and folds her hands In the grave Y Yt Ytthere t tthere
there Is a cure within reach She necd neecltto < j jto
to see life as a whole to be saner ti tistart to tostart >
start anew Shabby carpets and fade 1 1i II
i I draperies should no longer seem to her herI
I I a disgrace or a burden A to > arduous arduousi
i I scheme of living should be exchanged exchangedI
I for something easier The woman who whoI whodoes
I does her own work should have herself herselff
f stops by every device in her power powerI
I The woman who finds her club papers papersappalling pap papappalling
appalling should resign from her club clubTo clubTo
To get out of a rut may require exer exertion exertion ¬
tion yet If the end means nervous ex exhaustion cxhaustion ¬
haustion and an early death get out of ofit ofit
it even though it take a derrick to tolift t tift
lift you youAs youAs
As Thomas Carlyle used to say m mthose inthose
those incomparable letters of his to his hislittle hislittle
little nervous excitable Jane Cour Courage Courage ¬
age Goodykln < courage courageAll V VAll
All will come out right if one but hag hagcourage hasotnrage
courage to break the bonds of drudg drudgCopyright drudgL drudgCopyright
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Copyright 1805 by Josoph B Bowies