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The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, April 14, 1907, Comic Section, Image 36

Image and text provided by University of Utah, Marriott Library

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85058130/1907-04-14/ed-1/seq-36/

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CO COITKICnT IGICIIT Jf I > t t BT AUCRICAX AlICJlICASJOlrSALTAlIISF dLLa1CdSJ0nJALEJ11Fitr JOfKSAL KZJLUISKS > S tii
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ON THE SIDE SIDEBy
By BypE WEX EX JONES JONESreminon ONES
Dt reminon eople I > Ple cant get Interested InterestedT
T in iol a drop < lr ° P In i stoats if beef and bread breadtumble breadto breadere
tumble theyd get excited excitedTHE I Iir
ir ere lu to i iTHE
I II
THE THEHEN CACKLING HEN i iHEN IA I
like all ed I jI ITil iTill
HEN w WI was cackling cackin possessed poss
A Till she he worried the others off the IheI theneat
I
n neat neatwh t tWhI
I WhI wh WJuts at s up asked ked one has she he laid an anfsg anrg anao
fsg fsgOk rgOl
Ok a DO ° la laid the k rooster 2 go ° back I beg begJust begJUl beg begJust
Just a brainstormND brainstorm brainstormAJsD brillinstormAND
I
ND so with lets and lots of men menWho menWho r rWho
AND Who make a racket as did the hen henVi bent bentwdk i irllL
wdk Vi rllL never a thing ller they mSnl might brag aboul aboulTkv about1kev I I1iry
Tkv dart stand around and gabble and shout shoutIa J Ji II IIII
i In II a brainstorm IThe I ITbe IThe
The l igrei > I Iksllt balloon In the world Is being beingfcdit beingIIIIIlt
fcdit ii n 1biladeliAla as a means of ofI otHt ofeacepe
eacepe Ht i t ITIlE I ITiff
I T Tiff K SKlKKDUCATOn sELFICDUCATOILIrtettae I InTPriotls 1A
nTPriotls Ire IrIltlte drawing drawln and painting daily I Itor
A RIfor for flfteea IIft R xtlaute fI18I1tI Attbc At the end of ofI
I week you T rsa < u > rail yourself an artist artistE artistEIGISERitiYGLearn i iENGINEERING
ENGINEERING E EIGISERitiYGLearn l EEIUGI Iwra lrn all about en enin entiles i ifiaes
tiles fiaesIjAW in
IjAW 1 LAWTo w To become OIIe a HceejgsfuI ltte lUIful lawyer It Iti Italmo itis
i is almost almo t essential atlal to know something someUlln of oftke otlile ofthe
the law u you May at any time have to toI tofeol tofool
I fe fool i a judge or Jury en itMEDIC1NR it itMKDICIXE I IIEDICI
MKDICIXE IEDICI Go through a medical medicalwhool mediealschool
school and obtain a degree After being beingsdmltted belngIdmlftl beingadmhtwi
sdmltted to practice y you u can begin I > to tostudy fOilndy tostudy
study medicine medicineOur m > dici e eOur
I i iOur
Our insurance chiefs in Paris are said saidtn
tn bf 1 rHOyeriBt ri > rorer > Bs their health Change of ofnenery ofrnfry ofrnery
nenery rnfry Is tbe Me o e cure for twinges tif lu IIktl Inaktltis i ilctltis
I ITUE
lctltis aktltisTilE lctltisTHE ktl tis i Ii
THE DICTIOXAKY DlCTlO IY OK 01 < MISINFOUMA MISINFOUMATIOX IISI IOlnl IOlnlTIO lt ltTIOS
TIOX TIOXPAlA TIO TIOP TIOSStAFamiliar
ujFllmJllal Famlltar name for a necessary necessarynuisance net ssary ssarynullIl 1
PAlA P
nuisance nuisancePOTATO nullIlIOTATOAR nniaaalYPOTATO >
POTATO IOTATOAR Am Irteh peach Pet name namelNrft nameTELEPAOFt
lNrft lNrftTELErilONE 1 1TtIEPnO
TELEPAOFt TELErilONE E A wire with wit rage at ote oteeel on onted OUtlld
ted and ad Indifference at the other otherTIMETAIIIE otherTIJlTAIIUA otterTiMETAIILEt
TIMETAIIIE A railroad dope sheet sheetbated sbfetbat4 sheetbased
bated oa post performances performancesWar
War is Its It most mostrlhle terrible Qm t rages in inrrniral Innolral inCratral
rrniral Awerlca rlra One general had to toibree B U UIbrPf + i itbrre
tbrre days without Ice The private tin tinOf unne n none
one Of side illf was 1Ia commanded cOI mandetl by lees than th n i tOil tOilpneralB lossgenerals > O Ogenerals
generals after a terrific engagement e In Innblili InbitII Inwhich
which bitII a shell propped within three miles milesi
of i f the ramp The other 4CO a O generals were wereprinters wreprlnl wereprtnters
printers prlnl > rs At t sea the slaughter was awful awfulTbe 3wtulTbe awfulThe
Tbe guniioat gunho t Sombrere no after one fight flgUtsurrounded fight1IU flgbtwas
was surrounded by b more than a thousand thousandfloaring Ihou8mIlloaiot thousandfloating
floating bottles The admirals on hot hotgunl botuohoals
totunboats
gunl uohoals < oats fought bravely and 300 OO of them themwill tllI themwill 1I1 1I1will
will receive medals Hostilities 1I0stlll Ue were sus suspended 6U 6Uodt suspended ¬
pended odt < 1 when A breeze sprang up as the theroli liltr theroll >
roll r of the vessels caused the gallant ollast sea sendogs seadogs tI tIog
dogs og to feel f l uneemfortaMe unC il1rorta le amidships The Theaiile Th Thoall Theetre
oall aiile > will be resumed however howl an soon soonis SOOfIS soonas
is the breweries which bleh are working workln over overtime o overtime t r rtilne ¬
time can replenish the tnagaslnes tnagaslnesMUNICIPAL maazlnulnilCIPAT magazlnesMuNICIPAf
MUNICIPAL COKIIESIOXDENCE COKIIESIOXDENCEfoftH COInESIO DIDiCr DIDiCrTo
Jobs To Smith to 0 StreetCleaning Slrcet < strcetClfGH Clesslny Cum GOft CastoieMay ne neMay
11 May lay 1 call your attention attentl n to the theondition theoodition theondttion
ondition of the street > tr > et In front of my myliwise m mhUll myhouse
house hUll nt t Xo o US 3 Uniptythird street utreetVS streetS treet treetc
S c e to J S SYour Your Impudent letter lettericeivrd letterietred
iceivrd 1 lh I anal as s a result Uwptythlrd Uwptythlrdueej t llttbinl llttbinllIftl
feet will iII be cl cleaned inel last lastI
J I s 1 to S > C C GA A team of horses horsesIs
Is I at present embedded e bOOded in tbe mud before beforemv
mv m bI hotC in bIX > is isN
N C C to t J 1 S SPu1l Pull em mfellt mfelltJ Hit j jJ
J S t to S C C GThree Three bays have been bndowned beenlIoYiod beenowned
downed owned ia puddle before my house hou In the thejwst tbelliist thelast
last week weeks
s C t C i 18 J Jr S crTbQJre Theyre not my ms boys boygYour OOY6lour boysYour
Your threats win wt not move this department departments dep < < rtl eJlt eJltS
J s to S C C OTwo Two members of my myamily myuilr myawily
amily uilr arc entombed In vast 1st hole r rImply roc lIimplylhlrd rocLmptrthtrd
Imply mplylhlrd third streetH street i
H C t C to J S 8Yoa You eant hulldoEe hulldoEethis IttUdoEetbls hulldozethis
this department Feed your family through throughrubber I 1 1s
11 rubber > r pipe and notify the proper II depart departim dlpltIt departmeatflre
m mfotftre mfotftreJ < > Dt Ore J j
J S Jr to S r O C CUy My father was waskilled wasiiII waskilted
killed iiII yesterday by falling thirty feet from fromthe tlOlUthe fromthe
the top of a pile of rubbish which ho had hadto
to climb to reach hi bls house houseS
S C C to t J S Jr JrI I hope that ends endsie endsIre ndsile
i iTHE
ie correspondence correspondenceTHE eorreapondoneeTHE
THE KIDNAPPER KIDNAPPERKATIE KIDNAPPERKATIE KIDNAPPERJ
KATIE J ATIE went out shopping Ibopp ng to the candy candylore candyslore candystore
lore sloreSt storeSet loreSet
Set St her petlest dolly down just outiide the thedoor thedoor thedoor
door doorWith doorWith doorWith
With a bag bill of lemon drops out again she shekips he heskips hekipl
skips skipsWhat kiplWhat kipsWhat
What a look of wild despair freezes on her herlipi berlips herlips
lipsDollys lips lipiDolly lipsDolly
Dolly gone gonel There Therea not a trace vanished vanishedutterly nnishedutterly vanishedutterly
utterly utterlyKatie utterlyKatie utterlyKatie
Katie sits her down and weeps a baby babyNiobe babyNiobe babyNiobe
Niobe NiobeKaties NiobeKatie NiobeKatie
Katie a mother heart the news folds her girl girlup girlup irl irlup
up tight tightFather tighthther tightFather
Father says ay That at doll was old a new will willtet W11lsel willset
set things right rightNot righlNol rightNot
Not a look ha has Katie for the queen queendoll doll Father Fatherbuys Falherbuy Fatherbuys
buys buysl I
1 wants my ownyownyown the little littlemother liltlemother littlemother
mother cries crieThe cr crThe criesThe
The house wa sad and lobby that much muchnlicled muchamieted muchafflicted
afflicted day dayAnd ell dayAnd i iAnd
And even Father felt it with th dollygirl away awayVhea
When hen just like in a story a kid came to the thedoor thedoor thedoor
door doorA doorA I IA
A altered kid with dolly shed kidnapped at atthe ati atithe i iIhe
the store storeSaid storeSil storeSad
Said Sil d Pop rAwakened Awakened conscience conscience SaidKate Said SaidKale SaidKale
Kale My ownyownl ownyownlS ownyown l lsaid
S Said id Mother MolherNPoor Poor wee girlie to hive to toplay toplay tolay
play lay alone aloneSaid aloneSaid i
Said Pop o Theres that new dolly Said SaidMother SaidMother
Mother n 1h 01 cr Oh thats tal h right rightAnd ng rightAnd 1 I IAnd II II1h
And that queen became the daughter of the thedazzled thedazzled thedazzled
dazzled little mite miteFirst miteFirst
First Come First Served ServedTne Servedtae j
tae late Baroness Aronu UurdettCoutU Burdett Coutts used u ed to tolate tolate
late with keen pleasure n story of the thek theltlk thelurk
lurk ltlk k of Wellington and Roult On the first firstision firstlslon firstrcrsisn
ision the Duke took Sonlt Into Apale ApaleHouse
House II 0 IS the latter was v s surprised urprl cd lit t the ab absence nbtn abonce lj ¬
once tn e of pictures he had known In Madrid MadridHow 1lndrldHow Madridlrow
How is It Monsieur le Dnc be saidthat said saidhst saidyon
that yon have 10 o few of the Spanish was1 1085 1085rpl masterPleres
terPleres terPleresMarshal rpieoesV rpieoesVMarshal rpl s
Marshal yon forget replied tie Dukej Duke DnkeI Dukethat
I that oat lit my army arm wa was only in Madrid Ulldrl nften nftenje
tae je one commanded by b yourself yonreelfBlack yonreelfBlackell Black1 Black1Polite
wells ell
Polite Girl GirlWhile GirlIt GirlWhile
While hle calling on A Carl Junction girl Irl thetier the thetatr tbef
It tier f night a ayouth youth seated Ieat < d himself at the thees theo thePiano
Piano o and asked are re Tou 01 fond ot music mUilleIS musicOh
Oh res es i replied plled the girl irl but If yool yoolwish you yoaI youlib
wish I lib h to play anything nl1 thlng dont mind me metniU measas I
Kansas tniU city Star
THE HALLROOM HAL LROOM BOYS BOYSThey They Do It on 950 Per PerCopyright PerCowtight PerCopyrtght
Copyright 1907 by Am Amerieao4onmal merijIDJoomaJEnmioa merijIDJoomaJEnmioaHEllO rie nJoHnialEiiinincT nJoHnialEiiinincTHELLO Enminer EnminerHEUO
HELLO MUGGY MUGGYISNT HOW DUKE YOUR NEW TOB MUCH GOOD AFTE NOCr1 GIRLS 5AY DONT YOU WAt4T TQ SEE BEAUTIFUL ENTRANCE IS IT NOT I VrONDERA1 HERE HE HEBETTER
BETTER THAN RUNNING THE ONE I IN THE STORE THE NEW HOTEL JUST OPENED IVEPtON THE AVEtJUE COMES NOW MISS MftlIONEUCt AUOW 111E TO PRESENT PRESENTISthT
ISNT IT rtNE fl wt HOTEL Y fOU U VE GOT HERE ALL COtIE CO e UP WITH US THIS EVENING AND WE WELL LI SHOW YOU YOUABOUT MY FRtE D MANAGER MUGGLES ES THE GtRISEXPFiE55ED GtRISEXPFiE55EDGREAT
GREAT ILL I Ll RIGHT SAYlO SAf 10 LIKE LIK TO f3Rtf BRING G THE GIRLS THROUGH THE MANAGER MR MUGG1E5 iS AtJQ1D n DESIRE TO SEE OUF FINE ESTABUSHMENT50 WETHOUGHi WETHOUGHiMEET
MEET YOU Itl < uP HERE SOME EVENING AIJO At 0 SHOW THEM FRIEND 0F OURSAND DOUBTLESS VIE viOUW PRESUME ONOUfiGOODNAiURE AtlO 8RING THEM THEMTHE
THE MAIN MA N LOBB ARO OU DWHENARE 0 VfHtN ARE YOU QUOFF QUOFFA8OJT OFF 0 tE iT
+ HELL MAKE IT ExPECi COUNT VUH D C EE E ASA
ABOUT 830 SAY SAYARE l JONIGHT 70 NIGHT YES PgEVI U T COMIFlG iG OU PCIT Y H E HA YOU INDEED INDEEDIT I t ED
I r r GOOD GOODAS OOD VERY PIEASAN T GUEST NEXT WFEK WFEKoO
INTRODVCE BEE J MANACER OF + l IT will BE A APLEASURE
ARE Pl THE THEPRETTf HE f
III
i YOu FOR YOU SEVERALOF e > > oO s01OU YOU YOUJNOT PLEASURE PLEASUREi PLEASUREiS
G GIRL RLS I Ii i AS THE MANAGER 7HE MOST ° JNOT NOT
PRETTf r i 11 iJJI I i I p J 1 BE 8 E SURE AND WEAR WEARx f Et B f SED 1 s r 6 r
x TOUR CIAD LAO RAGS RAGSiii RAGSI
HOTELS HOTELSSSS3 I
7 II I I III f fo 4 7i
iii L si siF
SSS3
w
o
C
F Fd Ir JL JLD
1 1I a
t fi THlSIA D DIES I ES ESt iS THE PALM ROOM TO OUR OURlARTITECTURElSNTlTTHE t S H IAXNE55
t r RIGHT WE HAVE Tt IE ART ANp wE ll NpvJ 1N PEr f l t f L i Y SHCuIDN 1 H HERE 5 3 MuGGLEb NOW NOWj
r MUSIC ROOMS ° = UPFER FIOGkS + NHERE j i vt BEEN lOOWNG FOR YOU EVERYWHERE EVERYWHEREYQOU EvERfnHEREr
r MO RI5H 5TYLEOF I CAN THE ELEVATOR BOY BE Et C jnu0NE0 r YQOU YOU tt HAVE TO RUN THE ELEVATOR TO NlGHT NICHTa
a lARTITECTURElSNTlTTHE lARTITECTURElSNTlTTHEm AR ITECTURE ISNT Ii THE i THIS IS REALLY VER Y r rSURPR 1 A > THE OTHER BOY IS t SiCtt SiC YOU MAY MAYt
= t ISN T IT ORIENTALS HAVE T HE TRUE SURPR RlSltitll SINCVI SHALL SHAHY p < a Ire1 16 < S MvE TO MORROYMIGHT MORROVf NIGHT OFFJ OFF OFFINSTEAD
EA F
0
l0 J l LV X U I S C r HAVE TO 0 DISCHARGE J q = r > Tc jii INSTEAD ItVSTEAOf r rm rMr
I
1 l li lDUTY
f it c oO i HIM FOR fr frThey + °
I i DUTY g r rf
L4 f m N t 1 J Ji 3 i 1 1L4
i t
m
i j
I They Introducethe Girls to Their Friend iVlugges Mugg es
I
Mr El E Z Mark Sets a Trap TrapWT
1 Ccpn ii WT l li by Amrmn taerranJanrnalRraauiue 1IirJ Jmt J nm l Ka amm inr
POL ICE yt1k 1 Po ltE bTATSU tVltE rrlTtO i i l
I > E1 E1rn
Am ± rn rnr
1
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f Ii IiI
r
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I I rIV > I I II i I Ji et f
4 t I
1 STRANGER STRANGERThis This is a most fortunate fortunatemeeting 2 STRANGER STRANGERAs As a mere matter m tter of ofform 3 MR E Z ZtIera Here Ive been be n standing on onthis 4 CAPTAIN OF POLICE POLICEDetective POLICEDetectivemeeting POLICEDetectivemeeting Detective DetectiveMoxey
meeting for me Mr Mark I am Detective DstectiveMoxey D = tec ivc form required by the authorities even eventhough this infernal i fernal corner for over an hour and I Ihavent Moxey We have no such officer on the theforce theMoxey theMoxey
Moxey from the station right here Recog Recognizing ¬ though it looks like li < an imposition on your yourgood havent been approached by Mysterious MysteriousMike force And these marked bills ycu have haveshown havenizing havenizing
nizing in you the most publicspirited citi citizen ¬ good nature I must ask you for a receipt receiptor Mike nor have I seen sc n anything of my myfriend shown me arc evident counterfeits I Isaw Izen Izen
zen of our town I am going to ask your aid aidin or some security for the money I am leav leaving ¬ friend Detective Det ctlvc Moxey since snc he left me mevith saw Mysterious Mike and his pal Slick SlickJimmy SlickIn SlickIn
in capturing Mysterious Mike the wiretap wiretapper ¬ ing In your possession possessionMR with instructions to stand there Ill just juststep Jimmy pass the station this morning but butwe butper butper
per Here are 500 in marked bills with withwhich MR E Z ZI I am glad to assist the prog progress ¬ step into the police poli st ststion tion and sec if he hehas we have no case against them at presentwhich present presentYou presentwhich
which we can trap him if he approaches approachesyou revs of justice Mr Detective and to save savetrouble has left word there th re You have certainly been victimized Mr MrMrk Mryou Mryou
you with one of his nefarious schemes trouble I will just hand you an equal equalamount Mrk MrkMR ryU ryUamount frs rk rkamount
amount in unmarked bills from my own MR E Z ZDONE DONE AGAIN AaslstlngUISC Assisting AssistingJustice
Justice DAH DAHI DAHNOw
= UISC
II IINo
I
No NOw 11 What + Dye Think of That Thatcp
cp 1 i POi C o7 t ns tm m aJ a J a llalfum alt4amine lc lcu
1
u 4
W
U
l la
a 1 Q 7 7j5
j5 j5c
c Tt1E Tt1EAtb
Atb T Tot
o ot TECTIVE TECTIVEl
l P1 P1Haacus
Haacus HaacusuRtttt5
uRtttt5 HAMI ET ETI
I
tO ONTA1tN TAIe < c = L I Ct1 crtttoE LD
I like the classics very much Indeed IndeedBut I like Old Masters theoretlcly theoretlclyBut I like old crumbling edifices too tooBut And while I like and think the Drama fine fineGirl fineBut fineBut
But not to read But not to see But not to view Girl Glrlshowa shows for mine mineBraggo minentain
Braggo Bra o the Monk Makes a Fountain FountainloVT Fou FouCaprigbt ntain
Caprigbt loVT bt 1001 bJ At1 rrtcanJoumal rlunJoumaJEuD Examluer uer
THINK THINKr THINKOU r OU KNOW MEWHE N I lSHOULl I SHOULD > I DONT DO NT NTu NEED NEEDAPLUMBERI NEEDAPLUMBERIRaGSOt A P JMBERI
WHAT ARE IM COIfl COIHG TO CO CON
au c N SfARY t7Ut To DO A Tl1lt1G THINK iHiNKYOUID OU
ro u tc QNC Nec WITH THE A PLUMBER WOlJpftlr VVOULDf VVOULDfM
WATER I
RaGSOt woRK I usuALtY PuT r up RhlHr HIRE A kNOW EKOUGH HOUGH ABOUT A OUT
MAIN AND MArE MA E A TMIS FOUNTAEN IS Tb 8E PWMeE FUJMSERI t t
l lT IT FOR Imo Il0U OULL LL LLEE
M AGNIFIC > NIFICEt Nr FOUNTAIN SO METNING WQNDERFUL WQNDERFULTHINK t EE e E I 1 t
1 1J 1V
V
J
V
V
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1 8 0
I The Commuters Dream DreamBy 9r
i 1 By JAMES J MONTAGUE MONTAGUEjO MO T AGUE AGUEN VV
< jO 0 trains to New Rochelle to to1N t tI
N N0
I I 1N night nightThe nigittI e i iThe
The station master cried criedIn criedIn criedIn
In sneering sneering tones Oh Thats all allright aUright
I right rightI r
I I cheerfully replied repliedIll repliedrn repliedIll
Ill wait till dawn and take a freight freightI
I am not hard to suit suitYou suitYou suitYou
You see Imused Im used to being late lateI =
M MTHEM
I
commute commuteiSHPHEM
t ti
I iSHPHEM i i HEM trolley cars aint sin t runninnow runnin runninI runninII
THEM
I II IInow
now nowThe nowThe nowThe
The copper jeered at dawn dawnOh dawnOh dawn0h
Oh well Ill get out home some somehow somev somevhov somehow
how howI jfj t tI
I I said and sauhtered
on onI onJ 1 t tI
I like to brave the elements elementsThis elementsThis elementsThis
This blizzard is a beaut beautYour beautYour I IYour
Your language gives me no offence offenceI I
I I commute commuteT commuteILL 4
I 4I
l I
I e e ILL T LL get you OU dug out ut by and by byi byIt It Iti 1
i 1 Observed the hired man manNo manNo i iNo
No need to do it now said iCome I ICome ICome
Come any time you can canThesnow canThe t
a
Thesnow The snow is not so veryicold veryicoldI vervt vcnicoldAnd cold coldAnd V VV
I And though Ive lost I st a boot bootIll bootIli bootIll
I Ill wait right here as good as gold goldI t 1
I I commute commuteI commuteI I f
I IK
THINK K perhaps I froze raze to death deathFor deathFor F FFor
I
For soon I seemed to see seeA seeA
A Black Man with a fiery breath breathj breathVho i 1 t I E EWho
j Who growled You come with withi
6 1
i itt ittme
i
I i i0f
me meOf meOf
Of course I answered gl glad d to go goj R RI
j I do not give a hoot hootFor hooti V V v
VI I
i For all your terrors down below belowI
I I commute commuteCause commuleCa s i 1
1 I 1I
Cause Ca t and Effect EffectAo
It Ittn
Ao 0 Mlliuc barrister lHtrrt ter was w John William Williama JlIIlm JlIIlmII
a sarrostir arw rlllstl Ilv wit and a 1 bachelor with an In Intdiw IRIIISf Intense
tdiw prejudice against aiarrtagp Ills clerk clerkone clerkODe clerkone
one iliy IIY asked him for a holiday l1 1fdft la g get tmalrlltl t tmarried i imarried
married ami some months afterward on onentering onotrln oncuterinK
y y yH
entering otrln his Itl rlMiHlwrs Williams found tin tinilciiil 11 111rllll H b i i
ilciiil Ixuly siispendeil llpmlt 1 from the door lit littnsaseil II II1Iarcll + 1 r rcugae1
tnsaseil another clerk and asked him if be bewis bpns bews
wis inarriml tnilrri 1 Ne o replied the clerk but butthinking hntt buttbint
tbint thinking t iig Williams IIhn n nld > ul < l regard rPjta1d marring nmrriapHi nlRlrfa e eII r ra
a i A guarantee ef steadiness be added addedlint nddNIou t tt
° lint Iou t rat t I jin 1 III c JfHt tHK tit 1 k hr Very Iry well ell re repllpl re11I sellel
pllpl 11I llel > t Williams Imt tH understand thte Ibhwkll1 Ibhwkll1you when whenyon ry ryyou
t tgvnJtJt
you Jiang JIm yourself loci t do It here hereAr hereArJI Ar ArShe
gvnJtJt JI ut utShe
I IShe
She Had Misfortunes Enough EnoughA
A highwayman held lieu up a gasoline run runajuut rltnaxut ° i iaauut
ajuut on the outskirts of Rome with a ashot aiwt asoot
shot iwt In the air Then he h < ran forth from framiLc fromtoe fromthe
toe tomb tOlD that had concealed tl t eealed him hlmtbe the cordup hold holdup old oldlip ¬
up happened IIPd on tbe Appian way wayaud wayaudIuud wayandfued and andfiutid
fiutid Iuud to his surprise only oDI a woman in the theiitiie Uleilllil theIittie
iitiie car < 31 Where madam Is II your busband bits husband bitsband ¬
band be demanded demalldIstlrnl sternly and sus suspiciously MI MIPil ¬ f fpieiuusly
piciously Pil ously Hes under tbe i at t she an answered IInfWPfld ¬ r rswered
swered flushing Then aid the thewaymnu high highwayman hl hlwayman ¬
wayman I wont take nothing 1I0thin Its had hadenough kadenough ulffenougb
enough to have a husband like II Ii I that without with without without ¬ <
out being robbed Into the bargain bargainArgonaut IMtrgalnAr ta + j
Argonaut Ar onaut
i iHad
Had the Judicial Idea IdeaA IdeaelCftPd
A newly elected squire In Wisconsin wa wamuch wu wumuch 4 i imuch
much elated by his honor but was as not notvire notIre nutre
vire Ire re that he could carry them gracefully gracefullySo
t
So o he haunted the th courthouse for weeks weeksthat weeksthat IeeL IeeLIbat
that he might 1D1 tnlg1 + lt t gather atber np crumbs < < of wisdom wisdomfrom wl olU olUfrom e
from the judicial table of the th higher sta station IOtaIjn staLion ¬ i
Lion Finally he sat at In judgment jud nlnt on hl hlfirst hiM hiMIIrt hisfirst
first ease up and when the testimony was all allIn 1111In V Vin
In and the argnniMit male he said The TheCourt MIeIourt 1 1Court
Court takes tbU tbl case under advisement advisementuntil adlsementuntil advisementuntil
until next Wednesday morning when It ItI +
I will rondnr a verdict Trrdl t in favor of the de defendant defendantrgonaltt 3 i iPendanttrgonattt
fendantrgonaltt fendant fendantrgonalttj Argonaut ArgonautJ
j J Majesty of the People PeopleQueen PeopleQuccn PeopleQueen
t trecollection
Queen Victoria bad had doubtless some somerecollection IomrecollecUtln
recollection of the theories ef the Hvlnn dtrlnaright < Hvlnnright lttIDrllht
right of kings kin so when Mr Ir Gladstone Gladstonethen Gladstonethen Gladstonethen
then Prime Minister brought her a paper paperto
to be signed she said saidI i ii
I cannot sign al n It clot does not rep represent repTItnt represent ¬
resent my n11 sentiments sentimentsMadame aenti uenta uentaJladame
Madame NI aald aid d tbe Premier yon ou must mustsign mllitIj mustagtt
sign Ij n It ItDo ItDo q qjDo
jDo Do you say II MTST to mr Mr Ir Glad Gladston Glad5tn i r ratoll
atoll I am amtbl the Queen of q f Kngland ItnglanLMadame KnglandMadame I tfllnrl tfllnrlUadaine
Madame I am the IEOPLE PEOPLE of England EnglandSign VV VVSin V
Sign SignAnd 5 n t tAnd
And nnl nl she signed sluMlIuulsvUle Louisville otirlerJoer CourlerJornn fourter otirlerJoerSetting Joa Joana
nn
Setting the Date DateAu
Au 11 author wax wa once ol e railed H up4HI IHm n to par a aill Jloji aiii
oji ill he b owed The creditor spoke strongly stronglyami striJngluIII stronglyand
ami insisted upon some definite date llarehefllg llarehefllgmtnUlHltJ belli bellimentioned belug i inentlnuea
mentioned for settlement Certainly Ui Uiautlior the theauUlo theauthor
author replied pUN thought then thp seems to I Ia II IID be bea
a rather unnocennary commotion about this thUtrifle thist 4 4trifle
trifle t rl I will pay the bill aa oon a al I Ithink Ithink Ithink
think of It after reeelvlnjr the money which whichn
n pnull publisher her will m pay me In case Tie se e accept acceptth acceptlth
th Is novel which I will write and pod him himJuat himJU w wjust
just JU lt a 01 goon us II I feel eel In an energetic mood moodaft moorlntr moodafter
aft after > r n really renll good Idea hie for or a I plot has IllS oc occurred 0 0carred occurred < ¬
curred to uie meBlnutngbam Ulriulngnaui Iost PostDear IostDear IostDear
Dear Independent Girls GirlsThe GirlsTbp GirlsThe
r
The girl of today no looser smoke thefragrant the thefragrant tbetrarant
C Cney
fragrant cigarette by stealth up the chins chimney ehlmoer ¬
ney of her bedroom she plays golf with her hermen bermon hermen
men friend she be slidps In Sloan street un unattended unattendetl ¬ r rattended
attended by n duenna she drives in ban banBoms bnnsonls hatsSousa
Boms sonls alone she comes and goes e as she shenleasei sbeplellclIII sheleaseIn
plellclIII pleaseIiiof nleasei leaseIn In a thousand ways she tastes tbe tbei
i Joys JO of Independence lnolerenl1eDce And what Is the re rej rt rtI ccsuit
I suit A glr when she marries Is much muehof + i imore
j more of n I companion for her husband can canmina9 canmanae nD nDmlna
+ mina9 mlna his home better eUer and takes up 111 th throle Ihrole the therole
role of f hostess as to the manner born borni tarnLondon
i London World WorldOne WorldI r rOne
I
One Secret She Kept KeptIt
It was the game old story of a II man who whorefused whitnofuspd whorefused
I
refused to tell hi his wife tbe outcome of a abusiness abu ai
i business bu llIeis transaction In which naturally natumtt natumttI naturallyshe
Islie I she took n deep interest interestj
j I No No o he sneered sDet > red I won wont t tell you on If IfI
I I did youd repeat It You women women can cannorer cannever an anncvor
never keep a secret secretJohn secretI secret secretJobe
I John said the woman quietly bare bareI
I ever told the secret about the solitaire solitaireyears solitaireengagement OlItlireengdgemlnt
engagement ring you flare me eighteen eighteenyellr eighteenyears
years ago a o being paste pa TitBits TitBitsCall TltBltsCall TitBitsCall
Call Early for Good Ones OnesAt OneAt OnesAt
At the end of a big ball one of the guests guextsvent coeltI1rent guestswent
vent Into the cloak room at 3 In tae morn morncame morDIng mornlag
lag to put on his things and the attendant attendantcame i icame
came forward with a coat coatThat
I That Isnt my coat Mid saidthe the guest guestmine guestmine guestmine
mine Is II a perfectly new one oneA oneA oneA
A new ne our Oh I havent any n1 new newooa l1otyQ newcoax
ooa coax Q left after halfiMst bilt < past twelve hreheLe hreheLeSourlre Le LeSourire L LSourlre
Sourlre
Vhere the Wild Beasts Are AreA =
A little girl at Great Totham Essex Essexwhen Essexwhen Easezwhen
I when asked to write about wild IId anImal animaftand animafiand anImalIInd
and the countries conn trIes they inhabit wrote rote
Wild Vlldanll1lllll1 animals used i ed to abound In England Englandi Englandbut
i but now they are only onl to be found In th thTheological the thefblOlotral theTbtrololcal
lbut
Theological Gardens liardmLloIds Lloyds Weekly h r

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