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V eS ilAHjEDFItOJI YOliK. k s A NEWMETHODJN POKEHTHAT 3t WORKED, j , Man Who Always ToM tlL Ilaail j rrtrait of llanrr llraao Had a rcnl lar Iftblt aod IU Tonrhp! for loo ' ' Tra.tur-CjM. ol Ik . 5j Early on a nsnday teornlng In July, 5C u few yean ago. Sambo Koblnson and JX. old Daddy November wero tested on the rockt known aa the ' grillage," on I, Bulllvan'a Island, near Charleston, iaya , the New York Tlmea, Tho grlltags la J opposite to Fort Moultrie, and M Z Bambo remarked " 'I! le do bcttcrcat C (j ', place, on do whole Inland fur ketch ahcephcad" '8tmbo" cald old Daddy . . Novombor, "wot you link am do rra . j ,eon why shcophead wunt blto nalidUcr ' kino o' bait Vent tiddler? Wuffcr o 'All!? ..'r'l'r . ain't luh shrlmpt" ' I doan' know," ..,, replied Sambo "'D berry tunny, ecn "" """"' ' iheephcad; ko shrimp nice, en fid dler nm naaty leetlo crab." "Nobody . isn't 'count fur funny t'lnga," tald Nc- ember. ' Yea, 'o kin, aometlmca," riaj,r ,ald 8ambo; 'fur Imtnnt, 'Id you ob- W. ; t' hear ob a nigger play pokah en " tell you o han'?" "No " aald Novcm- I ' her. "Slch n man mua' be n Jackass." J )l "Well my man ain't no Jackass, none 'U11- Ob koe, ybu know dat do kahd a pahty wot play eon my homo moaa al- Ua 'waya persist ob Oawgo Washington en W i Trlmua Oreen en mo en Hendry Drano, wot aell fowl Howsumebqc dcro wa Eono mo' nigger wot play wd me on do Blto wot I gwlne tell 'boift. Hendry tntcrjuco 'cm to mo by do namo of Jackion en say ho como from Nu iai Tnwk, en waa ho fren Wen I Unk liput wot happen 1 moai' 'iptihuo Dranc." "Wot happen! ' aatd Novcm ber, as ho pulled In hli lino and found that'hls bait had disappeared. ."Dlih yer what happen," replied aja. Sambo ' Wo all aot down en cut fur m" do delo, en Drano win 'cm en delo do "" kahd, en ay to mo, 'My fren, Mr. Jackton from Nu-Ynwk, ain't under atand much 'bout kahd. but ho wlllln' W to loao a few dollah' Den Jackion 3 ear: 'Oh, yea; I kin play kahd, hut I 5 j Rot ono habit nb tellln' my han'. I tell mff 4a trjto 'bout 'cm, too' JFunny hab- ilt.' rcmahk Oawgo Washington; en Prlmui Oreen kauf en blow he note, on wunk ho eye I: een do fust delo dey .' ain't been no big han' en Jackton say.' 'I bet flbo cent, but I only (Jot two i Jack,' Mo en Drano en Washington l ain't hai) nullln' 'talt en wo gono out, jj but Primus call 'cm1 on two nlno en Jackton tcV da pot, km 'e got two , Jack, eho'xmff. "Well, dla klne or ting , i sdat on a good, leetlq wJlo,,toil Uthdry .,( , , delo n. on h0wn4yi1IFPtl Jaf-kspii, , I ' aot rex' to Drano, en ho open do pqL j' 'Wtl ' I ovWa'thln'ton.Voiwj in 'iFrlmtii' Icotto tTH'VWtT iirl tout? Thhb only twoiiloliMl.Uiut i'tbratf l !.''' ' Mn- D " kCRlu'Airot'Jio luck, ..a I. .n hVJPrt WB K Wmi Jaeksqn "v '' Vayi 'r'ibt two Jaclv ulit 'want Air h m t,'n. 'iiiT it ...'. yj ' J 1 .T know f I got rlto fur trow 'way ono Jack tn draw fur flush.' V all tell llotO- " in 'em 'o got rite, ao 'e draw ono kahd. Washln'ton tek tree en I tek tree. Wen ' I look at my kahd, I moaa' git fit. I ketch two mo' aeben, wlch mek me hab to ob a Vine. Jackton say 'Oentlo men, I alwaya tell my han', en I gwlno ll tbe tell 'em now I got big (lush ' Dn don ho bet 10 cent. Washln'ton look tick i. at ho atummlck en trow' way two king. I moaa' alwaya kauf wen I got big han', en 'e been notlu, but dla Uma I keep from kauf I tay to my- aelt: 'I got Jaekaon now,"kaua flush ain't nuttln' longslde ob my fo' aeben ' "Ded I lift Johnson ten cent, en 'e tee 'cm en rich me tea mo'. Den t htste 'em gen, en 'e lift me back, en 1 rise 'em gen, en 'o lift me aum mo'( 'K een fak, wo lift each udder ao much dat my munny gib out an I 'bleeged to call. - '"Wot you got?" I tang out " 'I got flush, ob koic,' rcmahk Jaek aon. ' Den 1 reech out fur do pot, en tho' my fo' aeben " "En, ob kose, Jackton been 'ttonlah," aald Norember 'No I la do nigger wot waa 'aton lh," tald Sambo "Jackion been tay dat 'o got flush, en ao 'o hab, but ho flush knock my fo' tcben cole. Do flush wot Jackson tot bohlno pcralta ob do'ntnc, ten. Jack, queen en king ob club 1 nebber will play kahd agen wld nigger from Nil Ynwk, ipeahumly cf ho tell tip han ecn pokah, en am fren ob Hendry Dranc" tMmoat Host Artort. Of all the Illustrious doga which ever trod tho boards, tho most fainoua la Dragon, tho property of Capt. Mont dldlcr In tho French army Thle gen tleman waa murdered In tho lAroit of Dundy by hit (rlend, I.lcut. Macatro, of tho tamo regiment. After tho crlmo Dragon ahowed auch a ttrango nr alon to Macalrn that suspicion waa nrouted ngalnst him. In tho end ho contested hla crime, and his accom plice Lnndry, In trying to escape, waa aclied by the faithful nnlmal and bit ten to death Thlt atory haa held tho Knglltb Mag?, on and off, ilnco the year of Waterloo, and It la only threo decadea ilnco to 'itara" named lamb and Kmmctt, played In It with their trained dog Carlo nt the Marylobono Theater, London Thlt animal waa nlso tho principal performer tn a, ca nine drama named "Poor Dog Tray" nighty yeara ago there was a theater nt I'cckham, where a youth named John Ilaldwln Duckttono mado hla debut na tho Injured captain There Is a Tenor nblo theatrical legend which deala vlth a pleco called "Tho Caravan Driver and Hla Dog" Ono evening tho leading tragedian waa taken 111, and tho prompter rushed off to the manager to Inform blm that tho pliy mutt be changed "How jou alarmed me," aald that worthy man, ordering a glass of atrong brandy and wator to steady bit nervea; 'tho tragedian unnelll I waa afraid It waa tho dog" New York Ttmca. fjont Charlf !l4rnfor I as n Hoy 'Lord Charles Hereford who wbuld be hard tb beat fpr popularity In tho British 'navy, had jo: favorite hobby aa ni hpy, wh,)e.h wd fn a way prophetlb of hla futuro ralllnt TbU hobby or IMatlmo'waa tliatl of.modMln'g' lUt, Jthd'ho tHU !r(!ccd)ogr tklllfut rnUU idlrrctten.iq7tresa hoata ha yoi1 gtva u,lrt)day.prrteita to (hose- people for 'hftni ho had1 aoma ileblal drfec- tlon. Quito a number of them are In ezlttenco. "I would give anything to got one of them back," he remarked one day, "aa a reminiscence of my schoolboy daya. I offered ono old friend CO pounda for a little model, which certainly wat not worth flvo shillings Out neither ho nor any of those who possess them will part with them Bo after all I mutt contolo my self with tbe thought that my little boata are regarded by those who havo them with a certain amount of af fctlon " TAKES THE PLACE. OP BILK. Lara Uo.ntllle. of M.rt.tli.d ColUas Coming lllthrr from Larop A steady Increase It noted la the Im portations from Hurupo ot a now fabrlo designed to rrplaco certain gradea of alike. It It mcrccrlted cotton that It. cotton whljch haa been ao chemically treated aa to glvo a glojs to tho sur face, white at the tame time changing tho character of the fabric Within the patt year an enormous Increase hat taken place in tho Importatloni ot Ihli fabric, and customs ofllccra aay that tho constantly multiplying ordera for mercerlted cottona havo caused an ap preciable diminution In the Importa tloni of silk goods Tho mcrcerltlng procett It applied to cotton ynu an well aa to tho cloth, and'rtio 'eflkl fled" cotton yarna are steadily crowd ing out tbe allk yarna tor embroider ing purposes. Hiperta In thla lino ot good havo declared that merccrlied cotton yarna nro about 25 per cfnt atronger than tho allk yarna. Kdwln A Hartshorn, assistant United Stattl appraiser at New Wk, In charge of tho division In which theso mercerlted goods undergo tho ofllclal Inspection at required by tho customs law iaya that ho had teen tome mercerlted coU tona which In their close rctcmblanco to allk would dccelvo men long accus tomed to handling allk goods An In vestigation recently mado by tbe United States general appraiser! Into the character of Imported mercerlted cottona resulted In tho ofllclal decla ration that tho color In tho warp of these goods la Imparted by nn Insolu ble, Inoitractablo coloring matter In herent In tho fiber, tho physical con struction ot tbti fiber being changed by tbo action ot caustto soda. These mercerized cottona are coming Into thla country In largo qiianlltlea from Germany and Swltierland, and alto from Scotland They aro expected from other countrlet, Inasmuch aa United Statea coniulnr agenta report that mcrcerltlng machlnca aro being put In operation In nearly all ot tho Kuropean countries Dreta goods In Imitation of allk can bo put on tho American marktt about 20 per cent cheaper than tho real allk. Importer! aay that these cottona aro fott sup planting allk In tho manufacture ot Ilk shirt waists for women and at novelties In dreta goods. Tho new fabric la alio coming Into extensive tno for the covering of tocallcd illk nm brellaa In, thpcatrlep and upholstery Ilka tho mercerized cotton trui become nn Important factor While the mer cerlted cloth haa the glosa and luster of silk- II laibronounccd aa durable1 ha heavy cotton, i i i You T.IAr th'lila. "Pp you,,havfl arw,AaithJ)ln,lhli Idea that -malidlea carbc, transmltt, hy-j kissing?" asked ono of Detrolt'a young oodletr'men of (mother1 '"Well. Mr? ,!, waa might akeptlcal tlll.thq -olittti i'iTiVJi'1 ,t,"'', mr le?K,f,i(fP5!lno r'MMBk M DSE'lLiSTOTE if: i m t ! M il i ' J-f I " " v J o n o a That'a , ''$ l.cay jiddlng ''Ml fMolury. Johnson What's that? Jonea When a haby takea. up a whole aeat In a crowded ,car-und then begins to cry, Mra. Cnrper-iBe-fore wo were mar ried you aald I was ' WrV01 Mr Carper Yet, and I must hay h. llevedhl, , J ' Dathorly ,Jone'a Ik n .blowharrt, I'lasherly Why, 1 didn't know that ho played tho tuba. Mr. Chlnn Hava you beard ot tho new rcit euro for nervous prostra tion? Patient Isn't allowed t4 talk tor weeks, ' Mrs. Chlnn HuhJ I'd jutLaa. aoou dls from prostration as exasperation". Tie Fool Won fitr what It moans by tbo expression "fighting blood up In arms"? Tho rather Walking thf baby, I gucis ' Hodge What a cold, haughty girl that sculptress lit Podge Hc heart must bo la her work. ' " first tlmo in my life, and I've had pal pitation of tho heart over atnes." Detroit Journal. low M.nl Cbotly (aa tho amoko from Drown'a cigar comes toward him) The old pwoverb Is proved again "Deauty dwawa amoke." Drown You'vo got It wrong ' Nature abhors a vacuum." Indianapolis Journal Don't tender advice until you find out what particular kind Is wanted. tSoTto mi Mm JAPANESE BOY WHO SOUOHT THE SILVER LEADER. orj .1 nu Tr,u ,rr ,,nt B Kfm in U.l at Uamlat-ll., Il.. Aa. mttleo t. t. !,,,,, of rf,bru a. Itrls.i t114 Tho gUmwr surrounding tho Ja paueto youtk who mado a deaeent on Lincoln tnd proceeded to adopt him " aa lit in, o( colonel and Mrs W J.Ilryan,lairi.orlnclrpro(r,tllUonl( hai alretoy txgun to wear off aa tho local anient of town newspaper no toriety rjnn hlM Wgnl t(J wlno ,n alead of Coont lun, with a itrnln of .Wi "Ji 4 whlt b'low that ot the Mikado himself, Uucoln'a latest Orlen. tal visiter be.ft tb wholly plebeian name of,Timachern, Yamachlta, tho torf of a ittable idler of the toUIn bis nstly Jsmi. Neither has Yamacjilta any niori f,tth ,!,, (ho vijrmim law allowi in ,,ctj ,10 WM obg(sl t0 ipend a solid year In 8an Kranclico Ip bumbls occupation to tecure tho wherewlthsl t0 britlK Mm ,0 Uncolni Ho U no fejr , member of tho, Bryan hou!, but milkci hl, hom(1 with tho vUg and children of tho lato JMm Kltriid Tho worjfidure of tho flowing garments ot Oriental iplendor worn by Mr. YamatsU cn hit entreo to Lincoln mutt llkowbs i, put down aa a pretty piece of fiction. On tho contrary, hli trouicra lit it the knees In dlitlnc tlvely Atncrlcta ,t,e, Bn, tn, balance orhls wardnb, Is of approved Angto Baxon maktgp, Tho story hlt 0I)R journey under difficulties stilts present alms Is very Interesting Timtchera heard ot Mr. Dryan durlnrtln presidential canvass. He wrote to Ut then presidential candidate, ittouticlng his detlro to como to Llacola and adopt himself at tho aon of Sir Erjan telling of hla de ilrca to heron g leader of tho com mon people ot Jipan and hla ambition to tome day nttr the Japanceo parlia ment. Tho tiplr tent from Lincoln waa anythlai but encouraging Mr Dryan plainly ml rarnestly sought to dissuade him from making the trip Nebraska stmmtri were described as decidedly tht rtrtrro of aunny Italy, and Nebraaki winters of a degree ot frigidity calculated to mako tho Orien tal" teeth chatter Nothing daunted, howover, flfteta months ngo Yama,chc ra set forth and In due time reached his destination. Hli manner of Intro ducing himself to tho Dryan houte fcbld waa clrcumvpecL He Informed i.. fm . -mtj i. mt ' ' $Wf !roK7OTl'w',"',, YAUACHCIfA JYA-MACHITA, i tho thta colonel thabJio must ticneo forth rrprd hfmsell M Jglfalhorr but at tbe end of aeveni ycart.ilt alf wont well, might call Iho one-aided bar tain off. j. The r!itency of the boy, lf.no.th, lag elss, has aroused tho Interest, of Mr. ana Mrs, IJrynn, and they havo seen that his, wants 'are lirortdcd for He It at' present ttnkjng special studlea in the Unlvenlty bf 'NeKraAa. tfnll seemi to be making, progress". Yuma chera U 20 yrara old' and brighter and neater than the avcHo,of,bU nation- A Clin. Voataga Rlanip. Candda'i new tonny postage itamp la to ho uolquo. When Poitmatttr General Molock was In Cnjland recent ly be woi ttruck by tho failure of tho great mass of tho peoplo there to ap preciate it their true value the pdr tlona of British emplro toyond tho aea, Tho thouiht occurred lo him that net more effective object lesson of" tho ,yaitnosi tnd solidarity of tbo emplro could b giveu than by prcentlng a picture Oa the now Imperial penny pottage lUmps, contraitlng-tbo-dlraen-tloni of Great Britain with those of ill other powen Tho feature of the itamp It a neatly executed map o the world Jn miniature, dlttlngulsntng the Ilrit Isb empire from tho possesions of all cither powers. Tho Ilrltleh poisMsIom ate printed In red, and the nan I out In bold relief agalnit a datk bKck ground Surmounting this picture Is a representation of the crown, under .oenth which Is a bunch of oak and ma pie leaves symbolUIng the unity of Great .itat,, Bnd CanB(a N Vork Evening i mi. Kl, of Tl.lotfc Jiow much nicer Is thla adrerllio- ?!,.i e""0 a Lol"lon PaP" tB" "" ""?. "fm-"Wanted. a parent for a healthy homclett girl ' A little blue ' .' ,D """ flfln ' hitherto connoed to professional caro, might presently be given entirely to an ell gmie foster parent of position detlr lag to avail of auch an opportunity; It a covetable little lady of gentlest de cent from distinguished ancestry with a imall provltlon on coming of age J YOUNO OIRL EVANOBLIST. Tor a week or to patt Isabella Har tey Horton hat been conducting dally and nightly services In tho Union Dap Urt churrh, Jersey City, apparently fulfilling tho scriptural declaration ' Out of the mouths ot babes and suck llnga thou haa perfected praise" For two yeara Isabella hna been a Chris tlon worker, but not until recently has tho astumed mch a prominent part. Crowds listen In astonishment to tho Klrl of H. hardly nblo to reallio that they aro being addressed by a child In a stylo which would bo creditable to men or women twlco her ago. Her command of language It simply aston ishing and iho knows how to uso words with great effect, great earnest ncti adding much to her utterances. Up to Pebruary ot 18d shq was a public school pupil At that time sho child became possessed ot an Irrrittt Iblo dcilro to perform church work, ISABELLA IIAIlVnr. Iter wish was gratified and sho har been so engaged ever ttcce. NAVAL PAIR THE LATEST. Tha Mawrsl !.! In Pntarlalnmants for Charily, Philadelphia Times The resource ful, feminine mtnd, alwaya so alert In originating Ideas for benefit entertain ments and In executing without pre cedent or prototypo lo pattern from, has now another Idea that certainly hai a claim to novelty as one ot Us at tractions This latest and newest Idea Is a naval fair Produced on a largo icale, the liooths oro to be coniltucted la tho shape of Worship! and no end of artistic Ingenuity can bo expended In working out the Idea. In planning an affair ot thla kind, the larger the Interior that can bo ao eured for the purpose tho better Tha Maaland alripes should bo everywhere na a decoration. '.Th,. framework ot tbreethlpj thouM be built by a car Penri who la cltyfr.eHotlgK! to tnurp thdTleta of the thin handler, Tn eVfar that he wltt rolu(!e1eritct without imneh expense Let the ships bo aa tafso- na.LUo' dimensions ,of tho hall iBtUl.-nllqwplicInt 900 Wirach, aide ottltt rpnm andat the end of the room, fiWllVUMnlranco , TA'trTniWH famrworlf ef th'lfflp iRould then be cpiw). 1 avlth wJilto loth, Ir'Tn' Irfijta Ion of tba whlto jMtrori, 6r'wll1i,slellcoroVed cambric. tfehlltmih'tJ be adhered to ThriT. cjeaaiy d mVtler of (ato. toil the ,M()iUe twill assist the gaslight effect. h cwnco tRi(he shltts'msde Hit I nangptaArV. Ajo,ifnd the1 .lock ef tho ship roay l apifnged tbe tstdoa, opn, talnfnp' the artlcjts utuallr sold on juch occasions. A riagJeovefct! foanYe extetidfn Ao Turf length of the abla prentded over by middles In sailor haf, would trove effective. On' the ropes iof th rlgglmf" 'irfiy, brf plnnetl hd(Jt eper's 1lnens(Tllo (wrtholM 'afford' MWlii lucrettSa -myslerles as flabjng wellr and' peep ihdwt One of tho slilpKmay bo devoted to the mess1 room ' jnd nllmorta of .edibles otrrd'l'ornto ' there. Another of the sbl;n Jijay bo devoted to tho Mte ot literature, and. anything of a patriotic naturofcr bear ing on tbe lato war, aueh as pictures, aongs, books, may And an appropriate plarfothcro.' " . v M . ll t THE LATE JUDOE 8 HO WALT nn. Judge John W Bhowalter ot tha United Slates District court, who dloa JOHN W 8H0WALTKH. In Chicago feceutly, had been 111 with pneumonia Judge Bhowalter wat born In Kentucky tn lilt Ho was a grad uate of Yate Ita came West In 1857 and practiced law In Chicago until Fobruary, 1835 whoa ho was appointed to the federal bench by 1'resldcnl Cleveland He was unmarried Hi was ono of tbe bcit-knowu lawyer In the United Stales. A Contrarttfilou. "He Is wedded to his art." "Then that wasn't true that I heard." ' What wat that? ' "Why, that he Is a Dacb- 'r of Arts "Chicago Tteeord o H dllE OWN3 A WHOLE TOtTM. M flaw Mrs. lllaekwatl Cm. Into Fa.H. H lion Hi. Lily of llatM. H Not long ago tho Cherokeca down In H Indian territory began a suit against H some pale faco trespassers and tho re- H suit has been that Mrs. Itosa Ulack- H well haa been declared owner ot a thriving city on the St, Louis and Ban H Francisco road Thla makes another HaH tep In an Interesting set of clreum- liB itancet, and was the only way ot SK averting armed conflict and much IsbIHI bloodshed, Thrio years ago tho town, M of David waa laid out by surveyors IsH from Wichita At that tlmo Col. An- HH drew Jackion Ulackwell whose wife BHPI haa some Cherokee blood In her veins, bKfei had about 4 000 acres under fence. jB Cherokee law does not permit Individ ILH ual ownership of land, all ot which be- M longs to tho community Any clttxea H may cultlvato as much as ho can rent H or. fence, and when tho surveyors tr- H rived Col Ulackwell saw a chanco to M mako money by having tho town local- M ed on tbo land ho had fenced Thin M ho succeeded In doing, after which ho B and his wife toured Kansas and Ok- H lahoma, Inducing peoplo to go tbero H and settle. Lota wero sold to them M tor IS each, Ileforo long ho bad sty- H oral hundred people there. Tho In- M liana did not offer any objection to tho arrival of all theso strangers, but H tho Incursion did not pleaso them any B too well, Ono night after a number M ot houies had been built tho settler M wero alarmed to hear war whoops la H tho near-by timber. Mrs Dlackwelt H uipected that tho Cherokees wire H coming to drive tho whites nwsy, per. HHl haps to slaughter them Sho hurried! H out to meet the angry redskins, and H after much parley Induced them to M forego for 'a tlmo tbelr bloody purpose. M Tbe Indians retired for a time, but An- H ally said they wero not to be stopped. HB and that tbo trespassers mint leave at once Thla was Impossible, ot courso, B ami Col Ulackwell offered to mtter It H any crime had been committed Ha B wai reminded that death waa the pen- H ally for selling land to tho whites aa BBl ho had done. Tbo colonel was taken BBl to Ctarcmore, where n council ot In- H dlana condemned him to bo shoL His BBl wlfo managed to set him at liberty, and H he ta now a fugitive from Indian ter- H rltory Meantime moro settlers lo- H cated at David, until about 1,000 whites H wero living thetc Then tho Indiana H brought ault for trespass agalnit them, H Intrusion on sui,h lands being a viola- M tlon df both Jcderal and Indian law. BBl Judge Bprlnger declared against tho B whites and threatened to confiscate H their property They at onco had It M transferred into Mrs Illackwell's namo H tbo Cherokees agreeing to this, aa sbs BBJ hsd Indian, blood In her veins. Sho BBJ now hat the rightful ownership to if ABB cJ7fhlnr,1ln1Ibo,tlty of David, a thrtv JBBB Ing town oJLqjaivI.OOO Inbabllanta.wtlh, H ' cVery7UuUlIon of a city She appro elates tho klnb'tffss of the whites In tho H patt, however, and no rent Is charged B aqd'fvrirthlnsinoves on aa before. BH An Maal Vmplra. BBJ Theri is no.umplro In the business H vhoVeVer aftaluld the reputation that M was fsj-tjedflirMhn alias "King" OatI- BBl ntx.. cpMrflw'0"1' WM t9 MJ bbI umpire of tho league and It waa only BB when Ill's win'di'rlngs from the atralght BBl and nqrrtm f "jthof sobriety baame an BBl almost dally nccurenco that President B Y6ulfiT gJiV'hlln' hla walking paperi. H tAst'-waa' tofoT-'bifVre, when the league BBl loslt,f0artinrgrl it lost lit belt umpire. BJ The announcement that Oaffney would BVJ WTjJcV on the staff last season H lirosrht Joy to thd players and ipocta- H 4ors-aJUe. for. Ma return meant that BBl tnmea, In, wbtrbo nfllclalod were In- H (cmgcnlly umplre'd, the rules enforced H nrfd, rid favorites played Oaffney baa B .npttuicheil a drop of liquor In twelve BBb mrtnths, ."!, could never ieo where H MM waa any pleasure In not drink- H ttlic,aald Oa'trne, when the Itcda were BJ Jn fJfwpp-."and.for eleven yeara t kept BBl mr akin "well filled with mm all tbo BBl time Today t am stronger and hear- H er)y)n tverl waa and I do not bellava H I. evor will drink again BBl "It fa aufprtilng to me that umpires H Jitw ao much trouble In theso day H when, everything Is mado so caiy tor BBl them "and they have such atrong rules BBl to back them In anything they do a BBl wonder how these men who now aeera H unabe to call balls and strikes proper- BB ly, and tho others who can not give a H base decision as It should bo given, BBl would have fared In tho days when BBl there was no double umpire system; B when players called for a high or a low BBl ball and -pitchers wero fifteen foot H closer to the batsman than they now BBl aro? That la what we bail to do, and H there was not near so much kicking BBl as there Is now An umpire of today, B It he does, his duty, haa an easy time ot B It compared to what he had ten ?tara - JBB1 ago." Oaffney Is a great admirer ol B Umpire Jack Sheridan who waa driven BBJ out of the teaguo by Manager Hanlon BJ of tho Daltlmores, and a few others. B "I wss. paired with BHerldan during tha B Drotherboqd year." said Oaffney, "and H found him a man of excellent Judgment M and actlva brain Ho ta as good an H umpire aa over I saw." With Sherl- H dan, ISmille, Lynch, Cuthman and BBJ Swartwood on tho league ataff, insist' BBJ ant umpires would not bo needed, BBJ Dimmit W.lklor. H "No, sir, I don't like your southern M railways To travel on them for any B length ot tlmo Is positively palnfuL" H "May I aik what particular defect pre H Judlcesyou?' ' The ties are altogether M too far apart." "Ah, then you are"' H "You aro right I am an actor." H Cleveland Plain Dealer. H U.ll Kqalpp.,1. H "No, bo actually can t see beyond? H tbo end of his nose" "Why doesn't M bo try starring as Cyrano do Der- BBJ geract" H att' Bsal