l THE STANDARD I - "
I Why not hnr a glad-hand man
for the Governor'.'
in every gigantic business concern
everybody cannot get In to see the
head of the organization At many
of the I'Ik concerns there Is a glad
hand maji at the door, usually some
relative of one of the executives or
fume of the old employes whose
duty it Is to shake hands with
everybody, ask them how they arc,
how their folks are, how trade Is
and how they are getting along. He
Informs the caller the president uf
n-p, dated State Executive's office Mtt& . -bl'HHk HBHLBw
.Hid a well-regulated private p-- 1
is several hundred jg.jy JPP yKamlEKk 409Sm "B ISHmw
kilometers. The Governor, who is VEjHHi ' .p WSSBRUKT
the head of a several billion doll ,r " &nKE&&& Spf' 3H HHPH j'j''''
concern, does the work of an ofrlro '?j?arttefeita..-. ktPP' v'Sfert
loy or hand-sh.iker The corpora- fe-j . 3tSff . jfaf Hf.
Hon chief turns the minor job over
to a OM& tfW?-''' - - 3? if-tflHaLaLiflK. aaEjMiHM Lifl Br
GLAD HWD U IHLv - b BBaV TffBMH
Heir IwaBMB
The dad-hand man must be a aKmfe?'' fl:"r j 3 -v: mHbLLbbI
He must wL . 1; :HmH
? he organization la terribl sorry ho
..'' cannot get down to see the isltor,
but he is tied up in his room with a
:.fM lot of terribly hard work and will
'i'"fj have to forego the pleasure of ask-
mg Lne vsitor if he cannot come
"?! down to see him
I But at the Governor's office the
H reverse condition exists. The Gov-
t-; j9 ernor sits in his office until the vla-
iBp itors come, and then the Govcrnm
has to get up and shake hands. He
has to be able to discuss hog raising
fH intelligently with the chairman of
3B tn precinct committee in one of
')aH the down-State townships He has
tB to be able to discuss the fall in the
B price of calico with the ward boss
'J-M from the wholesale district of one
" -JUt of the big cities.
i The Governor has to bo a wise
man on beo raising, baby feeding,
.Jiffl bookkeeping and law. He has to
IIJaHj have an interest in forty-seven
&? things at once when visitors come,
35 The visitors at the Governor's office
?SM m evcr State arc Important. Xow
and then tho Governor has. a prl-
WiM vatc secretary sitting In the outer
fcfflffB office blocking entrance to the ln-
5f ner office, but that Is about all.
EjglgB The Governor has to respond
gaflWl when asked to speak at the conven-
Ffj3t tlon of the undertakers of the State.
BjU He has to address the browers at
jj their annual meeting and has to
BgM speak before the W. C. T. U, eery
time he gets an Invitation.
BX Gov. Elliott W. Major of Missouri.
raS In recounting his experiences recent -
HttjH1 ly. showed a slip of paper to a
HBH friend. On the paper It showed he
BSH was billed to open a ball game for
DH the Federal League, addresa the
HHH State undertakers, address the River
HHB Improvement A.v-ociation. speak bo-
HH fore the convention of represents,-
HH tlves of the Commercial Clubs, talk
HEH at a conference of the Insurance
K men of his State, take part in a love
HH fcst of some of his old henchmen
jjH bark In his beloved Pike County
SBgH home town, praise the productivity
flHHfl of his State at a session of the
HH Business Men's League in one of
HH his cities, shake hands with Gov.
HHtt lJdward F. Dunne of Illinois and
HH with Gov. George H Hodges of
HH Kansas, all in a few weeks' time.
HH "I have to do all these things."
BH bald the Governor When I go to
HH one convention and address it they
H want me to address others. They
H ak me to leave the Executive Man-
H slon and come to their fair city and
f i make speeches, and I go."
H The case of Governor Major is the
II case of all other Governors. They
H are continually besought to make
Hl speeches, particularly at State cou-
I Some Governors do not make the
H speeches, but mott of them do and
H ,nus escape having anyone say
"mean things" about them behind
Lk their backs.
AT top Governor Major
shaking hands with
Governor Dunne, Governor
Hodges in the center of the
group, waiting his turn to
shake hands. Center, left
Gov. Edward F. Dunne.
Center, right Gov. George
H. Hodges. Below Gov.
Hlliott V. Major, pitching
the opening ball of the Fed
eral League baseball season,
and Major in the grand
stand at a baseball game.
b- able to make conversation when
the visitor comes and must help
the visitor do most of the talking
.ho lie will not wear his own voirp
machine out. The glad-hand man
must be able to know as much ar
the Governor of the State. He
must he personally acquainted with
his chiefs affairs so he can dl.v uss
them In the right light.
His conversation must bo of such
character that the visitor will not
are so much about r.eeinir the Gov
ernor as he will about tending to
what business ho has come to at
tend and get out. When a man
omea to see tho Governor on un
important busness the glad-hand
man would have to talk for the
Governor, make the visitor satis
lied with the glad-hand conversa
tion so he will go away without
bothering the Governor.
The glad-hand man, too, should
he somewhat of an orator, so he
Qpuld address underta Iters' conven
tions, dental society conventions,
Y. W. C. A. meetings and c.moe club
congresses as the special envoy of
the Governor.
We pay our Governors several
thousand dollars a year, and they
work part of the time at the job
and spend the rest of the time be
ing accommodating. The energy
they wish to pend on being Gov
ernor Is taken up with a lot of
things not connected with the Co -ernor'a
office.
Some critics say the Governor of
a great State, and all the States are
great, should work for the people,
who pay him. and not necessarily
for only part of the people who
happen to have State conventions.
If the day of the glad-hand man
ever comes we can go to the State
house and expect to be greeted by
a man with a powerful right arm,
c
j
yj
having developed It by shaking
hands, and with a powerful voice,
having developed it by talking, if
we happen to be farmers, the glad
hand man will -ay:
"Good morning, sir. I see you
have had some rain down in your
county. How are the folks? Come
around and take a look at the State
house. Here i the House of Rep
resentatives. Here is the Senate.
Over there is where the soldiers are
going to . reel a monument to tho
men of our State who fell at Vera
Cruz. See that flag at the end of
the hall. That is the flag which
was carried at the Battle of New
Orleans by Standard Bearer Hen
ley, who was a native son of our
State.
"Oh, you wish to see the Govern
or? Come to the soda fountain
stand and havo a little Ice cream
first. This is a noble State we live
In. This State could exist without
any other State In the world. If
l ho rest of the world sank out of
sight beneath the rolling billows of
the deep, wo could raise enough
food for our own consumption right
here on our beautiful farms. We
could manufacture our own cloth
ing in our factories. We could get
fish from our clear sparkling
streams. We can get coal and iron
from our inexhaustible mines. We
can get wool from our sheep, and
we can get sugar from our agar
beets. ,.
"We have unexcelled scenery
here. The scenery along our
streams tar excels that along the
Rhine T wonder If you men are
going to start a Rummer resort down
in your township. 1 believe a good
place for a summer resort would
be right back of your farm in that
reck. That Is a beautiful, shady
swimming hole to start with. I
understand you cat h suckers in
that creek every spring and where
suckers will grow any kind of fish
will grow. E Pluribus Unum. ad
infinitum
"You say you want to see the
Governor" Very well, come to the
top of the Capitol dome. We have
elevators running nearly all the
way up. Thoy run up to the fourth
floor and wo walk the other twen
ty floors. From the top floor wo
can see miles and miles of our fair
land We can see the rolling
prairies and charming woodlands.
We can see the hills to tho right of
us, and tho birds soaring to the left
of us. Look at those men down ba
low ua on the street. Don't they
look 9mull?
"Vou say yon must leavo? With
out seeing the Governor? You say
It la train time and you havo to get
back? The Governor truly will be
sorry. He will regret this exceed
ingly." GOVERNOR CALiLKD TO
OPEN BALL SEASON.
The Governor of the State usually
Is called to open the baseball sea
son for the State League and all
the major leagues, if thero are any
1
Why Not Have
Special Envoy do
Handshaking, and
Deliver Opening
Addresses at '
Undertakers' Conven, Nt'
tions, Baseball Games JC
and the Like?
Da
Mm Mr BaV aWW "
MW m mk
Mm-' MR?? "iw&MMMML -MK.
iaJB
Cities in his State which have major
leagues. It matters not If he Is an
ardent baseball fan or indifferent
to baseball The Governor Is want
ed to pitch the winning ball. Hp
goes forth on the field while the
band plays "Hail to the Chief" or
' Hot Time" and when he gets to
thp pitcher's box he makes a tre
mendous effort to get the ball across
the home plate.
If the State capital happens to
be in a college town the Governor
gets a chance to open the football
season by kicking the first bll at
the opening kickoff of the season.
On such occasions his excellency
II supposed to get on the field and
make a fool of himself If he does
not know how to kick the ball it s
recorded that some Governors have
failed to get the ball off the ground
oiher Governors have fallen down
on the ground in their efforts to 8
boot the ball. Still others have torn v
their handsome suits of clothes in it
their efforts to please- the col- (
igians. o
Anyone who wants to be Governor
must subject himself to the tiiaU
of the office. He asked for a chance , f
to get to serve the people and the 4 a
chance was granted. Being a Gov- . o
ernor isn't easy at all. If a GOV- i tl
(rnor ha3 nothing to do but sit in f g
his office and sign bills and oall out rl
the militia to enforce order when s
the Sheriff had failed It would be a
desirable position The Governor ' S
could have plentv of time to write l
for the inagazineB on the side or ; E
lecture at chautaujquas. As It la the g
Governor's Job Is u of haJ.d work a
and no une has ever grown fat in
the office. d
NUMEROUS USES OF FOREST LAND I
, 1 ,"lcr' conceivable use to
which land may be put is represent
ed in the permits reported by the
forest service for special projects
on the national forests. Some of
the uses show range, alphabetical
ly, from apiary throug-h brickyard
cannery", cemetery, church, cran
berry marsh, fox ranch, marin,
J. Wf-'' r'neane and turpentine
still to wharf and whaling station
There are 160.000 permits in force
for such special uses, which ar.
distributed geograph.caliy f ro
Alaska to the Mexican line and cas"
to Florida, This figure does not in -Nude
any of the 27.000 permits in
force for crazing cattle and ,hoc
on the forests, nor the 6,000 trans-
the more than 38,000 permits u
sued last year for the free Us t
f mber by settlers, miner, and th
sr. , developing their homest
and claims; nor the nearly 300 ne,
mits for water power development"
C,allf,rn,u led the national fore5t
States in the number of these
2J1 use permits, followed" Arl'
MCOn0t0' S5ntan New
Aiexleo in the order named. The
argest single c.as8 of perml
for special pastures, or corral tH
be used for lambia. grounds shar
ing pens and the like. SeS cl
rights of way for condulj
and flumes, practically all o " 1
blnp free. Varou , ,
pcrmua come (hfrd ,., lcul,,ural
fourth. with more lh, .I"6 "ne
permlu for JT" fUM"J
"on of more tU. ZX
come sixth. The rest r.f acros,
large number of nn.i-.rt
71 i ThaemuPs9e
of the government's lands for
1
schools la given free; for hotHa a a
narge Is made. 6
The principle which governs the If
charge is l,.lM,.tli acc-nrdinp to the tl
forest service on whether or not
the use of the land Is ought by the I e
pormlttoe for a commercial pur- s
pose. If it is the intent of the user
to make money from a resource
which belongs to the whole people. n
the service holds that ha would s
Kive a reasonable return for that '
se. If, on the other hand, farmers a
vvant to use government land for
tnelr own telephone lines, lrriua-
tlon work and schools, the gov- b
ernment gives them that use with- c
out cost. 7 c
TJ
Odd Fcllov. s Odd Soolis.
He was the plague of tho rerort- t
e,h J"00mK he n I reporter g
SSSt h'" made himself SO n
hI ,home that nrhody had vet s
tempte to put him out
At the moment his eye were tired I
n an old gentleman who sat with f.
5 f comfortably crossed be- t!
side the fire, displaying a sock of
many hues. 0
sn''Jf' -sir-" e called, "were your f(
coat-" f a hU f JostPh'8 n
thl'Ty T,ere not' yunS man At ?
the same time I am willing to bet a 1
sTk'ln 86? Ulere 13 otoe?
n.- u thotJTom to match that P
It th f (3a' lookin affectionately c
a ,.e, briFht Patc" of color a
at "' 5aK? lhe other' wlnklnf t(
at the assembled company. "Show
us your other sock'" n
black ,h0r feI'OW dld so- 11 wa a
a:
A Lsidy Knuntifiil tl
no you like Miss Prattle 7"
Tea; she's so generous ' "Vever r
keepa anything to herself, and 1
t
Smiles That Slip. S
weahTi d,? N:',lsh Marc"a would li
Mints Is she hnppv
laso;Tbu' wnen I Wssed her I 'r
t 8:
81
SI
zi
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