The San Francisco call. [volume], July 05, 1903, Image 6

About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

Image provided by: University of California, Riverside; Riverside, CA

                
THE SUNDAY CALL.
6
TRIALS OF THE
WOMAN
WHO WORKS
By Kate Thyson Marr.
This Is the First of a Series of These Famous Letters,
Which Have Created a Tremendous Sensation Both ,
in America and Europe, to Be Printed in
the Sunday Call. The Second,
Next Sunday, Will Be
* / #.n* *— \r* %w n %m (L- A \jF M MQ ' * ' •
THE ORACLE OF
MULBERRY
CENTER
By S. E. Kiser.
PwniBMBm E hear an awful lot of talk about \
¦ SFSP^&r^Sfl l^ c sc tt~ assert » v< ?h css °f the woman \
Ifc2i S^uS/ExE wJl ° ' vvor^ s ' * >ut * confess that in my
IliviU^ ui^*H o P' n i° n £ he ' s often more sinned <
l*r^^J$rt.l course, there are all sorts and |
1 ficSs's^iSia H kinds of people, but women who .
IkanBBBUKaal ' iave had to learn in a measure the
lesson of self-control are apt to be re-'
flcctors of the treatment they receive. !
About the hardest lot that can befall one woman js the 1
necessity of having to work for another, and this is the >
rtason that servants so frequently rebel. A woman is more *
petty, enters more into details and will make fewer allow- '
auces for another than will a man. Besides, while a man
ir.ay swear and get so mad that he can hardly contain him
self, yet his bluster will blow over and a woman can laugh
at it and his exhibitions of temper, while the cool, in
cisive jab of another woman would set her wild. If you
let a man alone, giving him time to blow off his pent-up
tteam, he will simmer and sizzle down most beautifully, but
rot so a woman; she wiil keep it up and chew the rag for
cays at a dead stretch. '
A man will get mad and say a lot of real bad words, but
he nvill not become personal, while a woman will reap up
all that she knows, good, bad or doubtful, that another wo
man ever did or did not do from her cradle up.
One very funny case, where a man whose business makes \
him rather dependent on his stenographer, has a little way '
of discharging her every time that he gets ruffled. The
next morning she as regularly appears at her desk and tells,
rum that she will only stay until he finds some one to take
her place. He blusters and tells her that he won't have
her around, when the fact is that he would be at a dreadful '
loss were she to take him seriously.
On one occasion she did absent herself for several days,
when he took a carriage and went after her himself. Wo
man-like, she forced him to gulp down huge lumps of hum
ble pie before she consented to return. '
Now, under such circumstances, a woman would act so
petty telling the other about seventeen times a day that
she "was glad enough to get back" that the position would '
be unbearable; while this girl has sense enough to know 1
that she has sized him up most perfectly and understands
him so well that it would be a hard matter for him to re
place her. Then, too, a woman hates to make a change
after she has once been broken in to a man's ways.
The most pitiful woman among those forced to earn a
livelihood are the women who havc seen better days. t
Such women are, as a rule.^-ery helpless until misfortune >
develops them; meanwhile it is a bitter task to become as- ]
similated to surroundings. The lesson is a hard one to '
learn, and is taken to heart through a pathway of tears. \
People seem to resent the intrusion of a refined woman t
who seeks work, and such a one is treated with a coldness >
amounting to incivility. ]
A refined woman who finds herself suddenly confronted '
with the problem of self-support merits all the graciousness \
that good breeding accords, and yet she seldom receives it.
Rich women dislike dealing with such a one, giving the <
excuse that it is embarrassing to give orders to one whom (
they cannot but acknowledge an equal both by birth and |
breeding. This may be very true, as there can be no ques- ,
tion that the employed is often far superior to the employer,
which should be to her credit, but it surely is never to her'
advantage. Let such a one try to make use of any accora- I
plishment or skill in certain lines, and the richer the woman \
patron the meaner is she apt to be when it comes to the,
question of compensation.
Many of us have heard women abundantly blessed with '
this world's goods unblushingly boast of the pittance paid (
for some exquisite piece of workmanship done by the wo- \
man who must rely upon her skill for a living, and the cold- <
blooded manner in which a woman tells laughingly of such ]
bargains is little less than shame. '
Women work either through necessity or the love of in- 1
dependence, but a woman of refinement would never work!
for other women unless it were a question of direst ncces- 1
tity.
When I hear women discussing the incivility of shopl
girls I am constrained to think that if they would stand for (
an hour or so at a shop counter and listen to the arrogant /
rudeness of shoppers and note the total absence of consid- ]
eration, thcy would feel sorry for the girl rather than for'
the shoppers. If one approaches one of these tired standing <
women, who are not allowed to sit down during the hours {
cf labor, politely and with a smile, they are very apt to be i
met with an answering smile. *
If you have a penchant for studying character, watch one^
of these girl's faces as women file up to be waited on. {
One woman approaches with a supercilious hard-cash air {
and gives her order as if afraid of microbes or some other |
dark and yellow contagion. The girl is polite and obliging. !
Then there looms in sight another who perhaps is equally'
well groomed, but wears a pleasant smile with her good <
clothes, and immediately the girl's face is transfigured. The \
las* woman sits at the counter, leans over, and while the girl t
displays samples of her wares she tells her some pleasing ;
anecdote, and the girl looks perfectly happy, as if an electric {
light had been turned on beyond the wall of her face and<
shone through it.
Now, I do not think it lessens a woman's dignity, no
matter who or what she may be, or how much cold cash
she may command, to be pleasant to these tired little
women, who earn more than they will ever get this side
of heaven. Many of them are little less than angels, or
they would not be able to cope with the purse-proud, dis
agreeable women who file in with their noses in the air as
if sniffing an abattoir rather than seeking pretty things in
a busy mart
And the newspaper woman. Let us pray for her.
At a recent large public function my chojer was aroused
by the rude snubbing of some women anent the pretty little '
representative of a local paper. She timidly approached'
seme ladies in quest of names and descriptions of the hand- \
some gowns -worn. Being a stranger myself, it was im- ,
possible to assist her, but the rudeness of one woman
aroused me to champion her at all hazards.
"Don't bother with her," said one matron who figures '
largely in philanthropic schemes.
, "Look here," I put in, "that child has her living to make 1
and she must turn in her story to-night before the morning
paper goes to press. If she does not get it she will probably
lose her job."
The woman seemed rather ashamed then of her rude-'
ness and called the girl back, treating her very graciously,!
and she got her story all right.
Now, while newspaper work is very fascinatin< in the
main, yet the reporter of the lociety column often has a
pretty hard time of it. When sent out she must get her 1
story, and if she does not the editor will tell her very plainly 1
that if she cannot he must find some one who can. Conse
quently she is entirely dependent on the courtesy and good
breeding of the ladies for information that she must obtain.
If she is refined she is often hurt to the quick and snubbed'
by women who cannot hold a candle to her either, in brains 1
or breeding, and her very culture . makes her more sensitive
to slights. It is a very trifling matter for a society matron
to treat such a one with courtesy when she is often glad
enough to race after the editor, begging for notice to ad- 1
vertise her pet schemes. She would feel highly indignant 1
xtere she refused, yet she will try to snub the girl who rep
resents his paper. Unless one has known society people so
cially, the lot of the society reporter is not enviable by
any means. . - ...
-- - ¦ - HE remarkable fact has just been
&7!D C^teS notc^ that within a short time two
Wf/n f?0^1 great missionary organizations whose
Hi IN If Ib9 operations cover the whole of the
|k\\l] WJMi Unit . cd . States have selected as their
K»So L^hIh administrative heads men over 60 years
KSg>» fairaBqjfl of age. The action has caused sur
—-¦ prise in some quarters, because the
modern business world, and especially
the modern ecclesiastical world, does not appear to have
a surplus of remunerative positions for men who have
passed the three-score milestone. In my judgment, 'one
great reason why they were selected in . preference to;
many younger competitors is that they possess a cer
tain elasticity and sprightliness of spirit arid a great
fund of cheerfulness. It has shone in their faces for
many years and carried uplift to all who have come in
contact with them. In the language of the street, their
cheerfulness is a part of their stock in trade.
Once a week I go to a club where the young man in
charge of the coat room is a polite, capable, well appearing
fellow. But he carries about with him an atmosphere of
gloom from whose effects I do not recover for, several min
utes after my brief business with him. To my feeble at
tempts to open conversation he replies in monosyllables and
with averted gaze. I am confident that were I on a board
of directors considering his claims to promotion, I should
ask "Why in the world is he so desperately morose? Is.
not'this trait going to handicap him all his life?" .
Making due allowance for inherited and temperamental
tendencies, I nevertheless make bold to assert that cheer
fulness can be cultivated just as easily and' to just T as great
an extent as muscle- or memory. There is no event or inci
dent of life from which it is impossible to ' extract some!
reason for cheerfulness or hope. , Try the experiment to
morrow morning. See if : there cannot be put -a favorable
and an inspiring construction upon everything that- befalls
you, or at least upon nine-tenths of the matters that make
up the warp and woof of the day. If you can look at them
cheerfully, if you can interpret them in a way to make
yourself and those about you happier, then it is foolish, nay,
wicked, for you to see only the distressing elements in the
situation and to brood over them until all the joy and glory
have vanished from the day. . ¦
More than such an attitude as that, . I honor the cool
bravado of the man/ who, when things look bad. says satiri
cally to himself arid his friends, "Cheer up, fellows, the
worst is yet to come." Butv the. truth is in most cases the
worst is not to come; worse may have already come to
worst and from now on there is to be a turn in the tide. At
least that is" a good working hypothesis anyway, and it
may serve to keep a man steady and hopeful when he seems
to be altogether hemmed in. ;
.Deliver, me, however, from a mechanical kind of cheerful
ness. No automatic smile, no forced gayety can take the
place or accomplish the work of the inward joy. I remem
ber that on one of those rare occasions in my, life when I
visited the theater, the hero and the heroine in the play
had a temporary disagreement. They parted in high
drdgeon and. the. girl, after he left, went to the piano and
sang sobbingly a song whose refrain was "Oh. I am so
happy, I am so happy." The audience roared of course.
And the great discerning wc-ld will always see through the
person who puts -on a mask of cheerfulness. In the long
run he will deceive nobody but himself.
And I ambound to say in this "connection, not because I
am a parson," but; because I believe it with all my heart,
that theone great, source of unfeigned and abiding cheer
fulness is religion. -To believe that there is a God and that
He is near and fatherly and forgiving, that He holds our
lives and the lives of ;the whole human family in his own
wise and tender keeping,. and .that under, his guidance the
lives'of all of us may. move on to happy issues— how such a
faith begets and nourishes cheerfulness in a man. Phillips
Brooks once said to a great congregation in Trinity-Church.
Boston, "Oh, never "'despair of a world over, which God
rules." Blest indeed is he who in the "darkest night can
trust this power, for if he does cherish such" a trust, the
morning will find him with a smile on his face.
ULBERRY CENTER, June 291— Our
mmmmmmmmmu ¦ nq carpenters have went on a strike and
/L-j£-Sn *h e town seems a Rood deal like a fun
/tfj^kjJS* eral. I haven't been able to find out
IIIELHMlm exactly what's the matter with ths
I &*^T H boyS) but thcy havc my sympathy - Its
I (uLJLJsyj |B the fashion to always give people on a
strike your sympathy. Sometimes
other things would do them more
good, but sympathy's better than nothin', and if there's
anything that the average citizen who ain't neither one of
the downtrodden millions nor yet a member of the bloated
aristocracy has plenty of it's good, plain, old, everyday
sympathy.
Sometimes I can't hardly help wondering where us
common people that don't belong to unions and ain't mem
bers of any of the trusts get a show that's worth men
tionin*. When times are hard and prices a^ "cheap we're
s'posed to get out and whoop for the return of prosper
ity so the business interests can shove up the cost of
things. I don't blame the business interests for wantin'
high prices, mind you, ncr the laborin' men for askin' for
higher wages. That's all right so fur as they are con
cerned, but where do us people that stand between the cap
italists and the laborers come in? We don't get any more
money than we had when times was hard, and they make
us pay about three times as much for everything we cat
and wear and have done.
Still we're s'posed to yell for joy because the glad old
prosperous days are back again. And we do it without a
kick. When the tailors strike to have their share of the
prosperity, which they'd' never git if they just waited
around for capital to hand it to them, it's our duty to keep
from comolainin' if the two sides that's fightin* each other
over our heads happen to hit us a few good hard welts now
and then. We can't blame capital, because we all have
the good sense to realize that without the capitalists thU
country would be like a wheelbarrow without the whceL
So we respect the pusiness interests and stand up loy
ally for their protection. But at the same time we know
the laborer is worthy of his hire. If he didn't alwav* take
it into his head to go to the polls and vote every time there's
an election troin* on mebby we wouldn't think he was so
blamed worthy of his hire. But we must be careful to keen
his waees up while our party is in power or he'll vote for
the other side the next time. If we let him do that we
would be traitors to our glorious country, the land of the
free and the' home of the brave, where everybody but peo
ple who work for salaries and don't belong to unions or
combines stands a fair show.
So we must stand up for the protection of capital and
sympathize with labor. Uncle Mark can tell you how to
do itN Sometimes I can't hardly understand the way it
works. Capital always has to stand up for principle by
refusin' to grant labor's demands. Then labor strikes, and
after a long, hard fight that makes lots of trouble for a
good many people who are not to blame, labor gives in.
Sometimes it seems to me as though principle mizht have
been stood up for iust as well by lettin' the men have what
they wanted at the start. But of course us common plugs
of citizens that^stand between the two fighting classes
can't expect to see through these things. After capital has
fought till the stock of goods it had on hand is all eone
it gets ti'-ed standing up for principle and r_ises prices so
us peoole that do the buying will have to make uo what
was lost by the delay. The extra that the strikers eit in
wages is expected to be furnished by us, too, and it's
never expected in vain. - ; ;'
So we whoop for joy because the trouble is settled at
last and prosperity has come once more to the community,
and at the same time cuttin' ourselves down to a meal and
a half a day so the children won't need to eo naked. It's
terrible srlorious. We praise the ttrikers because they
struck for their rights, we stand up for capital because we
can't deny that it has the right to run its business to
suit itself, and we git clubbed from both sides and pre
tend we like it
Here is my brother-in-law, Joe Parker, gittin' a new
house built with money he's been savin' up for about
twenty-seven years. The strikers have struck, not because
they have anything 1 agin Joe, but a contractor over in one
of the adjoinin' counties didn't'treat his men right and a
general tie-up's been ordered to punish him. Toe ex
pected to eit into his new home next week and give uo the
house he'd been rentin'. If his place is finished by Christ
mas he'll be in luck. Between now and the time he can
move in he must take his family to some boardin* house
or hotel, so it'll cost him about four times what it would
to keen house. I met him yesterday and h« was lookin'
kind of blue.
"Joe." says I. "you must take 1 lensible rtcw of this
thing. There's no doubt in my- mind that the contractor
who started this trouble is a mighty mean man tnd de
serves what he's gettin'."
*t. " l u k ? O , w ,-, U -" s * J s .7? e * .•cratcbin' his head kind of
thoughtful like. "Still he am t helpm* to pay my board bilL
Sometimes I almost wish we didn't have strikes in this
country." u
• "Can it be possible,- I says, "that you are sidin' in with
the^ plutocrat against giyin* the workin'man his rights?"
"No. no." savs Toe, gettin' scared and lookin' around to
see if anybody-happened to hear us. "You know blamed
well that although I always vote to uphold the business in
terests of the country I am in favor of givin' the laborin'
man the highest wages in the history of our splendid re
public. Don't tell anybody I complained, because I don't
want to be looked down on as an enemy to the business
interests or the labor element of the community. That
contractor had to stand out" for principle, and of course it
would of been a fatal blow to labor if the men had sub
mitted to his terms. So I stand up for one side and ap
prove of what has been done by the other. Thank heaven
I am still a loval citizen ever ready to sympathize with the
downtrodden masses and demand that capital shall be fullv
protected." ; : ..._
ThereVonly one class of peoole in this country that
don t get any sympathy and can't command respect
That s us who are between the two fightin' elements and
have to take knocks from both sides. It shows what or
ganization will do. The other fellows are organized.
We am t. and that s what's the matter with us. If we had
a union or something for self-protection and the advance
ment of our own interests maybe they'd ask what we
thought of it once in a while before sroin* ahead and
dom things that rmke it disagreeable and costly for us-
What we need is hard times with low prices and our sal
aries and incomes left as they are. Here's what our
minister thinks about it:
The men below and the men tbova *
Fight on day after day, " _
And when they'll cease to knock and prod
No mortal man can say.
But it isn't the ones above who feel
The sharpest, keenest woes.
And it isn't the ones below who reel
From the hardest, heaviest blows.
Between the ones at war there stands
A great and patient horde
That gets it from both sides at once
How long, how long, O Lord?
" Yours for a fairer show."
CHEERFULNESS AS AN ASSET.
By "Tf)c Parson."
¦ i EAR PIERREPONT: Of course you're in no position yet to think of being en-
Jj™ 3 **!?! gaged even, and that's why I'm a little afraid that you may be planning to get mar
g r$|sv§ ried. But a twelve-dollar clerk, who owes fifty-two dollars for roses, needs a
I sUlP " keeper more than arvvife. I want to say right here that there always comes a time
J«Jj^*^^ to tke fellow who blows fifty-two dollars at a lick on roses when he thinks how
— LI - many staple groceries he could have bought with the money. After all, there's
no fool like a, young fool, because in the nature of things he's a long time to live.
I suppose I'm fanning the air when I ask you to be guided by my judgment in this matter,
because, while a young fellow will consult^ his father about buying a horse, he's cocksure of him
self when it comes to picking a wife. Marriages may be made in heaven, but most engagements are
made in the back parlor, with the gas so low that a fellow doesn't really get a square look at what
he's talking to. While a man doesn't see much of a girl's family when he's courting, he's apt to see a
good deal of it when he's housekeeping; and while he doesn't marry his wife's father, there's nothing
in the marriage vow to prevent the old man "from borrowing \money from him, and you can bet 'if
he's old Job Dashkam he'll do it. A man can't pick his own mother, but he can pick his son's
mother, and when he chooses a father-in-law who plays the bucket shops he needn't be surprised if
his own son plays the races. * f
Never marry a poor girl who's been raised like a rich one. She's simply traded the virtues of
the poor for the vices of the rich without going long on their good points. To marry for money or
to marry without money is a crime. There's no real objection to marrying a woman with a for
tune, but there is to marrying a fortune with a woman. Money, makes the mare go, and it makes
her cut up, too, unless she's used to it and you drive her with a snaffle bit."
While you are at it, there's nothing-like. picking out a good-looking wife, because even the
handsomest woman looks homely sometimes,? and f so -you .get, a Jittle variety; but a homely one can
only look worse than usual. Beauty is only skin deep, but that's deep enough to satisfy any reason
able man. (I want to say right here that to get any sense out of a proverb I usually find that I have
to turn it wrong side out.) Then, too, if a fellow's bound to marry a fool— and a lot of men have
to if they're going to hitch up into a well-matched team— there's nothing like picking a good-looking
one. .
I believe in short engagements and long marriages. I don't see any sense in a fellow's sitting
around on the mourner's bench with the sinners, after he's really got religion. The time to size up the
other side's strength is before the engagement. ) ¦
Some fellows propose to a girl before they know whether her front #nd her back hair match",
and then holler that they're stuck when they find that she's got a cork leg and a glass eye as well. I
haven't any sympathy with them.
They start out on the principle that married people Have only, one meal a day, and that of fried
oysters and tutti-frutti icecream after the theater. Naturally, a girl's got her better nature and her
best complexion along under those circumstances; but the really valuable thing to know is how she
approaches ham and eggs at 7 a. m., and whether she brings her complexion with her to the break
fast table. And these fellows make a girl believe they're going to spend all the time between 8 and ir
p. m., for the rest of their lives, holding a hundred and forty pounds, live weight, in their lap, and
saying that it feels like a feather. The thing to find out is whether, when one of them gets up to
holding a ten-pound baby in his arms for five minutes, he's going to carry on as if it weighed a ton.
MARRIAGE
From "X>tt*r« from a B«lf-M»d» Mer
chant to Hl« Son." by O«onr« Horao*
Lorlmer. By permission of Small, M&r
nard & Co., Publisher*, Boston, Masa.