The San Francisco call. [volume], September 21, 1904, Image 8

About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

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CRITICISM
HUMOR
THE TRIM GIRL
GETTING EVEN |
fY\ R S- NEWWED— Jofti, do
III y0U tnlnk that Roosevelt
.1*1 and Parker will be elected?
' . . Mr. Newwed (looking up
quickly)— Why, I suppose one of
them will be elected.
Mrs. Newwed— One of them! Why,
I thought both of them would be
elected.- \., ..,.'¦ ¦{}>
Mr. Newwed— That's impossible.
Mrs. Newwed— Why, McKinley
and | Roosevelt were elected- at the
same time.
Mr.- Newwed— But they were run
ning on the same ticket. ¦
Mrs. Newwed— Well, so are Roose
velt and Parker.
Mr. Newwed' (showing rising an
ger)—They're nothing of the kind. -
Mrs. ' Newwed— Oh, how terrible!
I , thought that Fairbanks .was \ run
ning; against j Roosevelt'and Parker.
Mr.; Newwed— Not , at all. . It's
¦ Mr. Newwed- (visibly irritated) —
He isn't running at all. He isn't a
candidate.
Mrs. Newwed— Well, ' then, why
did. he have such a terrible fignt?
Mr. Newwed — Oh. he was against
the gold plank in the platform.
Mrs. -Newwed — John, what is a
gold olank. Is It real gold, or Just
an imitation?
Mr. Newwed (with a . look ap
proaching ' lunacy) — It's 'simply
called a,plank. It's merely a decla
ration of the principles of the party.
Mrs. Newwed— What party, John?
Mr. Newwed (reaching for his
hat)— You'll have to excuse me, dar
ling. I'm going out on .the porch to
get a little' air.'.
'.'¦""*¦ ". ' *** ¦
Parker and Davis against Roosevelt
and Fairbanks.
Mrs. Newwed— Well, who Is Colonel
Bryan running against? . ,a v -
THE POLITICAL SITUATION.
It is not always the rich but more
often the ooor who are sinners In the
matter of dress.
How often does one see a woman
with a baby on one arm and a couple
of bundles on the other, wearing a
soiled black skirt that trailed several
inches over the pavement. behind her?
Of course, it was horribly in her way,
and her progress was pitiful. : •
One sees over and over again women
struggling to get on or off the trolley
cars with babies or baskets, on their
arms and long, hampering skirts trip-
CARE IN THE MATTER OF DRESS
ping their feet.
The babies and baskets are doubtless
necessary, as the world is at present
arranged. But certainly the trailing
dresses are neither necessary nor suit
able to the occasion.
Poverty does not seem a reasonable
excuse for unsuitable dressing. It may
be necessary to dress plainly, but it is
not necessary to dress foolishly.
Economy Is clearly not the reason for
the sins against good dressing commit
ted by so many women with small in
comes.—Philadelphia Bulletin.
Commander R. E. Peary announces another.dash for the pole in
the near future. " Bids': for the Peary relief expedition will, now be
opened m f^ew York. . „ . .
It may Interest many of your readers
at this season to know that the
troublesome "shooting headache" may
be avoided. by the Insertion of a' tuft. of
cotton .wool in the ears.:-' It-softens the
violence of .'the -concussion- upon .the
tympanum.— Letter : in London : Mall. -
A HEADACHE REMEDY.
Oakland's only lady tonsorial artist has petitioned the Mayor
to grant her the privilege of carrying a pistol. As a reliable weapon
of defense would not one of the "sure cure" hair restorers do the
business?
If one desired to witness the little brown man in a state of high
Oriental calm he had but to walk through Japtown last Sunday when
the news of the Lena's coming had filtered down Dupont street.
The atmosphere cracked as if charged with a high power dynamo!
A young man who' lives in Minne
apolis has beaten the girls of the
Northwest at their own game. He has
taken the first prize at the fair for
"fancy work," a term which includes
all kinds of tidies and doylies and cen
terpieces and pincushions and em
broidery and every other kind of
dainty work with the needle. There
is an element of retribution In this.
The girls have been beating the boys
in school and in the university and
taking their jobs away from them in
all kinds of business. It serves them
right to have a boy get even • with
them on their own ground and beat
them all hollow at their own game. —
Minneapolis Journal. _ T".
TENNESSEE'S former Governor.
Robert L. Taylor, Journalist and
lecturer and noted throughout the
South for his eloquence, added an
other chapter to his romantic career
the other day at Bristol, when he was
married for the third time. At the
home of the parents of the bride in
Chilhowie. Va., Miss Mamie St. John,
one of the prettiest and most talented
young women of Virginia and a social
favorite, became the bride of the former
Governor.
It was a small and informal wedding.
Among the relatives present were Mr.
Taylor's three daughters and two sons,
his brothers,* Alfred A. Taylor, who
was once his opponent in the race for
Governor, and Hugh Taylor.
The bride is a distant relative of her
husband. Her father, Noah C. St. John,
is a lawyer of ability. She is 28 years of
age and was graduated from Virginia
Institute. • Bristol, Tenn.. where she
demonstrated superior intellectual pow
ers and aptness in literary pursuits.
Mr. and Mrs. Taylor will reside in
Bristol, the former Governor having
recently sold his palatial residence In
Knoxville in order, as he expressed it,
to get back to the mountains and the
beautiful valley where he was born.
Taylor recently became president of
the Bristol Courier Publishing Com
pany, and aside from his lecture tours
will take a hand In the editorial work.
T'HE announcement of Robert Treat Paine .that he will support
Roosevelt is indicative of the feeling of independent Democrats.
Mr. Paino has been twice the Democratic candidate for Gov
ernor of Massachusetts and finds it now necessary for the first
time in his political career to assert his independence of party.
. By the abbreviated text of his announcement it appears that
he resents the Southern abuse of the President on account of the
Booker Washington incident. As is well known, President Wash
ington had called at the White House. to advise the appointment of
an eminent Alabama Democrat to the position of District Judge of
the United States. The President, about to go to lunch, invited
President Washington to talk the matter over at lunch. The Demo
crat was appointed and his service has given satisfaction to evcrv
body. This has been tortured into the President's indorsement of
social equality between the races, and he has been lampooned and
insulted throughout the South. It is significant that the case was
put in shape for the South by certain trust organs in New York.
But, entirely, aside from President Washington's errand at the
White House, there is an element in the affair that should arrest
the attention of all thoughtful Americans. It has touched Robert
Treat Paine. Booker Washington is the most eminent man of his
time, judged by the hard duty he has set for himself. His race in
this country numbers 10,000,600 people. Since emancipation it has
been led to dream the impossible in the direction of political action.
It has festered in the vices of ignorance, idleness and politics. Booker
Washington advises that it let politics alone. He. tells it that social
equality is as impossible as it is undesirable. He teaches it that its
first duty is the acquirement of the useful arts, to the end that it may
have the self-respect that comes with the capacity for self-support.
Acting upon this thesis at Tuskegee he is teaching negroes how
to live honestly, uprightly and virtuously. He is educating them
in the handicrafts and industries. He is striving with the might of
a strong man and philosopher for their moral and industrial progress.
Suppose every negro in the United States were a follower of Booken
Washington, inspired by his high spirit, living his iclean life, and
acting upon his earnest and improving purpose, would there be
crime and lynchings?
A man is to be judged by his master motive. Tolstoi has had
the sympathy of the world for his efforts in" behalf of the vodka
soaked mujiks of Russia. Bttt his methods demonstrate that he has
attempted this by impossible means. Washington is greater than
Tolstoi, for he goes on a harder task, by possible means, and the
record of his accomplishment entitles him to the respect of every
American who knows that 10,000,000 ignorant and besotted ne
groes arc an increasing menace to this republic. It will not for
ward the work of Washington to treat his color as the badge of
outlawry and spurn and scorn him. These things impress Mr.
Treat, and he is not alone.
DEMOCRATS FOR ROOSEVELT.
The Rev. George W. Brownback,
pastor of the Pilgrim Congregational
Church at Reading, Pa., who adver
tised for a wife, 'received 2000 appli
cants for his hand, and then married
an attractive Paterson, N. J., girl, re
ferred In a recent sermon to the large
number of divorces granted in this
country and then spoke on "the model
husband." His text was Colossians
3, 19: "Husbands, love your wives, and
be not bitter against them." He said
in part:
"The model husband Is one who
thinks more of. his wife than he does
of himself or anv one in the world
"The successful business man keeps
close watch on contracts to see that
they are fulfilled. Husbands, how long
is it since you have looked at your
marriage contract?
"Many a man, without' appreciation
of the beautiful flower he has taken
unto himself, becomes careless and
negligent. A model husband is a man
of good memory. He remembers the
introduction that set his heart flutter-
Ing. He remembers the walks to
gether before marriage. Therefore he
does not get half a square ahead and
then bawl out: 'Susan Jane, for
heaven's sake, why don't you hurry
up? 1
"My model husband doesn't wait un
til his wife dies to give flowers. A
single rose, perfumed with love in life,
is worth more than a dozen wreaths
on the casket lid.
"When you go home put your arms
around your wife and tell her how
sweet and beautiful she is. It may
be stretching the truth, but God will
forgive you and your wife will be
happy.
"Remember how blind you were to
her faults before marriage. If you
have discovered them since, keep your
eyes tightly closed.
"A model husband . always remem
bers he is the husband of one wife.
When you think less of your wife and
more of another the breakers' of hell
are before you."
FOR THIRD TIME FORMER
GOVERNOR TAKES A WIFE
MODEL HUSBAND
IMMEDIATELY after the recent primary election in this city
charges of fraud were made by the various partisans in that
event. It is, unfortunately, too true, that such charges impinge
upon partisanship to an extent that makes the general public in
different to them. It is also unfortunately true that a large body
of business and professional men are neglectful of their civic duty.
It is through politics that government, municipal, state and national,
receives its officiary, and derives the personnel through whic"h its
authority is exerted.
Of this process the primary election is the source. It is the
fountain head of all. Those who snub the primary polls have no
call to cavil at the final result. Civic reformers have swept the
political horizon vainly for an indication that the class which has
the most at stake in the character of government are alive to their
duty and are aware of the opportunity they have for the right guid
ance of final results.
! In many cities there have been spasmodic efforts at reform, but
these have usually been excited by preventable abuses that would
not exist at all if the citizens who protest against their existence
had been mindful of their duty in the primary political processes.
It was this condition that moved the late Senator Ingalls to declare
that "political purity is an iridescent, dream." It was an expression
of hopelessness and, if true, boded ill for the republic.
No popular government can usefully endure in which the people
are indifferent to the purity of politics. No matter what partisans
sax*, there is no partisanship in impure politics. Both great par
lies have been shamed by it, and their higher aims and declarations
of principle have been nullified by the filth of the gutter, spattered
upon their declarations of principle. Only eternal vigilance of the
best men in all parties can preserve the ballot-box from pollution and
American politics from tarnish.
To San Francisco belongs the honor of the first practical at
tempt to compel purity in the primary processes of politics. That
powerful organization, the Merchants' Association, is the agent and
instrument of this movement. That association had its genesis in
a determination to make the city physically cleaner than it was. To
it we owe the vast improvement in the condition of our streets,
the better condition of the sewers, the triumph of the bonds for parks
and other needed and desirable municipal improvements. It has
inaugurated the system of safety stations at crowded and dangerous
points in the operation of our street cars, and has in all things
promoted the decency and welfare of the city.
It was- eminently proper that this non-partisan organization
should move forward from promoting the physical cleanliness of the
city to secure its moral purgation, by paying attention to the primary
processes of politics. It has promoted the prosecution of persons
charged with fraud in the recent primary election, and can be relied
upon to push every case to a revelation of all the facts by reliable
testimony.
It is indifferent to us. as it is to all decent citizens, which party
or what individuals profited by the frauds. If there were frauds and
violations of the purity of elections law, let the guilty be punished.
The gratifying fact is that the law is vindicated and its enforcement
attempted by the Merchants' Association, as evidence of the purpose
of that body to stand guard over the ballot-box hereafter.
Mr. Fairfax Wheelan, the member of the association who has
taken upon himself the burden of this necessary action, deserves the
applause and support of all good citizens. He has undertaken a dif
ficult and perhaps dangerous task. Everything that promises to in
timidate him will be put in motion by the class which makes the
ballot merchandise and the ballot-box a refuge of fraud; His fellow
citizens will understand this and will give him the backing and
support of every element of decency in the city.
Whether he succeed or fail in the finality the people have con
fidence in him and believe that his evidence and his allegations are
the conclusions of his conscience and manifestations of his" high sense
of civic duty. The Merchants* Association has always stood for
much that is best in our municipal life and conditions. It now
stands for all that is best, by supplementing its efforts for physical
betterment by a determination that moral and political betterment
shall be added thereto.
THE PRIMARY FRAUDS.
THE ESOPUS ICEBERG
Special information supplied daily to
business houses and public men by th«
Press Clipping Bureau (Allen's). 230 Cal«
llornla street. Telephone Mala itiX. •
• Artificial. eyes were first used by the
Egyptians.- long before the Christian
era. Mummies have been found with
artificial : eyes. .*' They, were fashioned
of gold, silver, copper' «r : Ivory.
Townsend's California Glace fruit* la
artistic fire-etched boxes. 715 Market sL*
ROOSEVELT AND PARKER—
Theodore Roosevelt was born In New
York City October 27. 1S58. and Alton
B. Parker was born In Wooster. Mass..
May 14. 1851. The biographies do not
give the hour of birth of either.
RAILROAD INFORMATION F.
R., City. For such Information as you
desire in regard to the Chicago. Bur
lington and Quincy Railroad address
a letter of inquiry to the home office
of the company.
AMERICAN JACK— Sub.. City. The
American Jack is the union or blue
field of the American flag.
ANSWERS
A trim and tidy girl, although she
may look commonplace, always wins
the admiration of her sex. She is always
a picture of youthful freshness and
she invariably wears something white
at her throat. Her taste in dress is al
ways beyond criticism and she Is con
splcously careful in the matter of her
shoes. Sentimentalists may find lit
tle that is interesting about her and
call her ordinary, but they forget that
the commonplace frequently means
contentment and happiness; where her
more highly strung sister would be the
bare theory she is the actual practice.
For her trimness and . tidiness of
habit pervade her mind as well, and
not being notably pretty she finds it
incumbent upon her to take an intelli
gent interest In mere man and his
poor affairs. The trim and tidy girl
has lovely eyes, for the unhealthy
problem novel is quite a closed book
tD her. The ideas she has are all well
defined and simple and through their
very simplicity they, are easily attain
able. She does not start life with a
false yearning, but with a steady, clear
mind, and is always . the welcome
friend.
"It comes to the same thing, I sup
pose," said Professor James. — Wash
ington Post.
"You," the latter said, "are a free
thinker, I perceive. You believe in
nothing."
"I only believe — haw — what I can
understand," the sophomore replied.
Professor William James of Har
vard is popular with the more intelli
gent and studious of the undergradu
ates. When these young men. how
ever, make rash, or bold, or unbecom
ing assertions, he does not hesitate to
take them down.
Not long ago a sophomore aired
come atheistical views before Professor
James.
Rebukes the Sophomore.
madam?" *
"I don't know," really." Mrs. Astor
answered. "No gentleman has ever
smoked in my presence." — San An
tonio Express.
Mrs. Astor's dignity is great. It re
sembles that of a Duchess of the old
school. Hence a certain young officer
should have been wiser at the garden
party than to say to her as he took out
his cigarette case:
"Does smoking Incommode you.
Mrs. Astor. the head of the Astor
family, attended during her recent
European tour a garden party In the
English Midlands.
The Retort Cruel.
The woman was doing her shopping.
The assstant handed her a package,
and she slowly turned away.
"Do I need anything else?" she ab
sent-mindedly asked.
"You have just bought some lawn,"
ventured the facetious shopman.
"Don't you think you will need some
hose?" — Chicago Journal.
It Naturally Followed.
A St. Louis woman's cleverness fair
ly took a Jefferson guard off his feet
the other day, and gave a hearty
laugh to a dozen witnesses of the
comedy. She was a picture-loving
mother, and had toiled up Art Hill
with her cooing babe in a small push
cart. She gave a sigh of relief as she
mounted the last stairs leading to her
goal, and as she mopped the persplra*
tion from her face explained to the
baby what a glorious time they were
going to have looking at the beautiful
pictures. 'Twas evident that the wom
an and the baby were on the best of
terms and out to enjoy things to
gether, says a St. Louis exchange.
As she was about to enter, a pleas
ant-faced Jefferson guard, with an ex
pression that said plainly that he
didn't relish the task, said courteously,
but firmly, "I am very sorry, madam,
but we have orders to admit no per
ambulators inside the building."
For a moment the tired mother was
dazed by her disappointment. She
looked hopelessly in at the door, up
at the sympathetic guard, and down at
the cooing babe. Suddenly her face
brightened, as by an inspiration. She
seized the handle with a firm grip,
slipped it over her arm, like the han
dle of a basket. There was a click,
and presto, change! Miss Baby was
seated in a wicker swing, suspended
from the mother's arm, kicking and
cooing as happily as ever. To the
questioning glance of the mother the
courteous guard said, as well as he
could for laughter, "That mode of
transportation is not mentioned In my
orders, madam." and in triumDh the
mother and baby entered amid the
cheers of the onlookers.
CLEVER WOMAN
It is easy to tell the toiler
How best he can carry his pack;
But no one can rate a burden's weight
Until it has been on his back.
The up-curled mouth of pleasure
Can preach of sorrow's worth; >
Bur^ive it a slip, and a wryer lip
Was never made on earth.
It is easy to sit in the sunshine
And talk to the man in the shade;
It is easy to float in a well-trimmed boat
And point out the places to wade.
It la easy to sit In your carriage
And counsel the man on foot;
But get down and walk and you'll change
your talk
As you feel the peg in your boot.
Mrs. Albert Dermljien, Mrs. Theo
bold Glaser, Mrs. Patrick Henry, Mrs.
Henry Wressman. ( Mrs. William Hons.
Mrs. George Lydecker, Mrs. Mary
Florence, Mrs. John Chasmer, Mrs.
Charles Koch, Mrs. Frederick Horst
mann, Mrs. Peter Studerus, Mrs. Fred
erick Peppen, Mrs. John Cronln, Mrs.
Anette Moesmer, Mrs. Max Braff. Mrs.
Peter McMahon. Mrs. Mary Voight.
Mrs. William Senteff and Mrs. John
Adams.
Aside from the butchers and bakers
who enter the block to sell their wares
a man never is seen. The politicians
in the town are anxious for the wed
ding bells to ring on Bergenline ave
nue, as there are only two votes in,
the block, when, according to their
reckoning, there should be at least
twenty-one. Election time is draw
ing near, and as the town is solidly
Democratic, the leaders wish as many
votes as possible to swell the majority
of the county.
"A lone bachelor would have a hard
time of it in our block," said Mrs.
William Senteff. "There would bo
many hair pulling matches to see who
would get him. It would be a game
of 'I saw him first.* In all seriousness,
I do not know how It ever happened
that we all came to live so near each
other. It appears peculiar to see al!
of us on Sundays, with our mourning
gowns and veils. There is not a bit
of color on any of the dresses seen in
the block.
"I really do not know why we
should not get together and advertise
for husbands. .We would make loving
wives and we would not have to de
pend on our husbands' fortunes,
either. With two exceptions we each
own our own house and have snug
sums in the bank. The block is a
great field for good, kind and loving
bachelors, who have no objection to
widows."
Deep mourning is the prevailing
color of the gowns worn by women on
Bergenllne avenue, between Hudson
and Herman avenues, Guttenburg, X.
j. Within that block, which has only
twenty-three houses, there are nine
teen widows, two widowers and two
other families. The street is known
as "Widows' Row."
Up to two months ago there wer«
only twelve widows there. Then four
husbands died, three within one week,
and the next week three more died.
The deaths were in houses adjoining
and at one time there was crape on
three doors.
With one or two exceptions the wid
ows are wealthy and own the houses
they live in. For social purposes the
women each evening assemble at the
residence of one; on Sunday they at
tend worship in the several churches
In the town, each robed in mourning
garb. When they leave for church th«
block is deserted. The names of the
widows in the row follow:
"WIDOWS' ROW"
THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL
iOILVD. SFRECKELS Proprietor
ADDRESS ALI* COMMUNICATIONS TO
JOHN McXAUGHT ~. .*...* jUanagar
PUBLICATION OTtTZE ¦ .THIRD AND MABKKT STREETS. SAN FRANCISCO
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 1904
THE SAN -fKANClSCO CALL, WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 21, 1904.
8