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O. Henry <Ceprri£ht, 1907, by Jotepb B. Bovta) ACROSS our two- dlcbes of spaghetti, In a corner of Proven zano's restaurant, Jeff Peters was explaining to me the three kinds of graft. Every winter " Jeff comes to New York to eat spaghetti, to watch the Ehlpplng In East, river 'from the depths of hie ; chinchilla overcoat, and to lay in a -supply, of Chicago made clothing at- onei of the Fulton etr#et stores. ' During the. other three gea*one he may be found farther west — his range is from Spokane to Tampa. In his profes sion he takes a pride which he sup ports and defends with a serious and unique philosophy of ethic*. His pro fession Is no new one. He Is an incorporated, uncapltalteed. unlimited' a^jrluin for the reception of the restless and unw|s« dollars of his fellow men. \u25a0 In the wilderness of stone in which Jeff seeks his annual loneiy holiday he 5s glad to palaver of his many adven tures, as a boy will whittle after «un down in a wood. Wherefore, I mark on my calendar the time of his coming, and open a question of privilege at Provenzano's concerning the little wine stained table hi the corner between the rakish rubber plant and the framed palazio deila something on the wall. "There are two kinds of graft," said Jeff, "that ought to be wiped out by law. I mean Wall street speculation and burglary-" "Nearly everybody will agree with you as to one of them," said I, with a laugh. "Well, burglary ought to be wiped out, too," said Jeff, and I wondered whether the laugh had been redundant. "About three months ago," said Jeff, "it was my privilege to become fa miliar with a sansple of each of the aforesaid branches of .illegitimate art. I was slae Qua grata with a member of the house breakers* union, and one of the John D. Napoleons of Usance at the same time." "Interesting combination," said I with a yawn. ."Did I tell you I bagged a duck and a ground squirrel at one shot last week over in the Ramapos?" I knew well how to draw Jeff's stories. "Let me tell you first about these barnacle* that dog th* wheels of so ciety by poisoning the springs of rec titude with their cpas like eye," said Jeff, with the pure gleam of the muck raker in his own. "As I said, three months ago I got' into' bad company. There are two times In a man's life when he dees this — when he's dead broke and when he's rich. "Now and then the most legitimate business runs out of luck. It wa* out in Arkansas I made the wrong tarn at & cross road, and drives Into this town of Peavln* by mistake. It seems I had already assaulted the disfigured Pea vine the. spring of the year before. I had cold J6OO worth of young fruit trees there^ — plume, cherries, peaches and pears. The Peaviners were keep ing an eye on the country road and hoping I might pass that way again. I drove down Main street as far as the Crystal Palace drug store- before I realised I had committed ambush upon myself and my white horse BilL "The Peaviners took me by surprise and Bill by the bridle and began a conversation that wasn't entirelj' dis eesoclated with the subject of fruit trees. A committee of 'em ran some trace chains through the armholes of my vest and escorted me through their gardens and orchards. "Their fruit trees hadn't lived up to their labels. Mosj. of >m had turned out to be persimmons and dogwoods, with a grove or twe of blackjacks and poplars. »The only one that showed any signs of bearing anything: was a fine young cottonwood that had put forth a hornet's nest and half of an old corset covtr. "The P<?aviners protracted our.fruit less stroll to. the. edge of town. They took my watch and money on ac count, and they kept Bill r.nd - the wagon as hostages. ,' They said the first time one of them dogwood trees put forth an Amsden's Juno peach I' might come backhand get my things. Then they took off, the trace chain and Jerked their thumbs in the direc tion of the Rocky mountains, and I ttruck a Lewis and Clark lope' for the swollen rivers and Impenetrable for ests. "When I .regained conscientiousness I found myself walking Into an un in \u25a0 nirf !\u25a0 iiwuipiUMiwyaiHlliFiilllilßHf f'B fjl" "I ' ""Ir. Hi _|i ""W jf Identified town on the Atchlson, To peka and Santa Fe railroad. The Peaviners hadn't left anything in my pockets except a plug of chewing —they wasn't after my life — and that saved It, I bit off a chuWc and sits down on a pile of ties by the track to recogltate my. sensations 'of thought and perspicacity. • , "And then along comes a fast freight which flows up a little at the town, and off of It drops a black bundle that rolls for 20 yards in a cloud of dust and tlien gets up and begins to spit soft coal and interjections. I- see It i- is; a young man, broad across the face,^ dressed more for Pullmans . than freights, and with a cheerful kind of smile In spite .of - it all ; that made ' Phoebe Snow's Job. look like a chimney sweep's. - "'Fall off?' says I. '.- 'Nunk,' says' he. 'Got off. Arrived at my v destination. " What town is thisT ."'Haven't looked it up on the map yet," *ays I. "I got in about five min utes, before you* did. How does .it strike you?' "'Hard,' says he, twisting one of his arms around. ,'I telieve that shoul der—no, it's all right.' "He stoops over to brush the dust off his clothes, when out of:hls:p'ockex. drops a fine, nine finch burglar's ; steel Jlmmj'. He picks it up arid looks' at me sharp, and then grins and. ho[dß>. out his hand. .:;/,.'' f/M. : > " 'Brother,* says "her"* .'greetings.; Didn't I see you In southern \ Missouri last summer selling colored sandrat half a dollar a teaspbonful to put 'into lamps to "keep .the :oil : from exploding?; "'Oil,' says' I, 'never explodes. It's the grasthat forms that explodes.' But I shakes hands with him, anyway. " .*My > name's Bill Bassett,' ; says he to me, 'and If you'll call it professional" pride instead of conceit I'll Inform you that you have the pleasure of meeting, the best burglar that \eyer, set a gum shoe on ground drained by the Missis sippi river.' y "Well, me and this Bill Bassett sits on the ties and exchanges brags as artists in" kindred lines will do. It seems be~ didn't have a cent, either, and. We went Into close caucus. He ex plained why an able burglar sometimes had to travel on freights by telling me that a servant girl had played him falso in Little Rock, and he was making a Quick getaway. . " X ,- ? It's part of my business,' says Bill Bassett, 'to play up to the ruffles when X want to make a rtffle as a Baffles. 'TU love that makes the. bit go 'round.' Show me a house with the swag in v tt and .a pretty parlor maid, 'and .'you * might as well call the silver; melted; down and sold,' and me. spilling the; truffles and that ' Chateau trick on .the napkin under my chin, while the police: are calling it an Inside job just because the old lady's ; nephew teaches a bible .'class. I first make an -impression 'on the girl,' says Bill, 'and when the lets me' Inside I make an lmpresßion-.on the; locks. But ' this one in ' Littief Rock^ done me.Vsays ho. 'Sheosaw me taking a trolley ride -with another ; girl,' and when I came 'round on the night sha" was to leave- the door open forme v it; was fast. Andj l had keys* made for the doors ' upstairs' But. no,, sir. She had sure cut off my locks, She was- .a' Delilah.' says Bill Bassett. "It seems that Bill' tried,' toj break In, anyhow with his jimmy,' but the girl emitted a succession of bravura noises like the top riders or a tally-ho, and Bill had to take' all tijo hurdles .between, there and. the depot. *As he had no baggage ;;they_^Jxiod : hard .to check his departure, but h*». made a train that was just pulling out. " 'Well,'; says Bill Bassett** whon we had exchanged mrmoirs of -our dead lives, 'I could *>at. This town don't ,look^Jiko. it was kept under a Yale lock. Suppose , we. 'compilt some mild atrocity that will bring. in temporary, expense money. I don't, suppose : you've brought along any : hair tonic ' or rolled gold watch chains, or iiimilar* law dcfj'lng swindles that you could sell on the plaza to the pikers of /the: paretic ' populace, have you?'- • ' ".'.^o.' says I, 'I left -an elegant line of Patagonian^ diamond -, earrings y&nd'i • rainy day sunbursts in my Valise '.at Peavine. But they're to stay there till some of them blackgum trees. begin to glut^the market with yellow clings and 'Japanese plums.; I reckon we can't count on them unless we take Luther Burbank in" for a partner.' " " j, '-;s " *^*cry well,* says Bassett, "we'll do - the beat we can. . Maybe after dark "LABOR, TRADE AND CAPITAL" I'll borrow ,a; hairpin lady and openvthe farmers* and drivers' -miv rlne bank^with.it.V ,; < •• T "While we was r talking up pulls a passenger, train '^o^ the. depot near' by.;- A person:, In; a . high hat; gets '. off on the Y wrong sl4e of Mhe '.train and cbmesr tripping" down, the,: track toward us. : He was a -little fat 'man .with ; ' a .big : nose^ and' rat's eyes, -but dressed' expensive" and carrying a hand satchel careful, as > if it had v eggs • or i railroad •\u25a0 bonds in ; it. He -; passes by us and keeps ; on ; down ; the track, not : appear! ng to I notice . the - " .'Come . on,' says : Bill Bassett '\u25a0, to me, : starting .'after \u25a0 him: €y 'Wlierer. I asks.' . v ,- . " 'Uordyl' says Bill, 'had you forgot . you* was in the desert? Didn't. you see Colonel Manna' drop dowri^ right \ before your eyes? Don't you hear, the rustling" of ;Geueral Raven's wlrige? I'm sur-. prised : at.y ou, Elijah.'- V ' \ •IWe' overtook -; th«Vstrariger in the edge • of . some woods, and, as \it was after "sundown arid in a quiet placer; no body, saw; us stop hlm.^Bill] takes .the ;•; silk .hat off hls-head and' bniaihes lt % with hia u sleeve": and;'puts'?lt-;back:v". \u25a0 ".'Whatdoes this meani sir? 1 says the man. ' - • ; , \u25a0 . : .; " IWhen .1 wore one of these,' says Bill," 'and felt embarrassed. I always . done that. Not \ having one ; now I . had to use . yours. I hardly know how, to' be gin, slrl in explaining f.our, ; business' with" youi ' but . I : guess -vwe'll .try your pockets, first.' ' \u0084 ->, "Bill Bassett felt in^all. of them, and looked disgusted, v'l >' " -'Not even a watch.' says; he. 'Ain't • you ashamed of .yourself. ; you whited sculpture? Going: about dressed like/ a head' waltor,- and." financed like a'count.' .You~-liayen"t"..cvV i n[, got -carfare. •\u25a0 What did "you "do with your : transfer ?'-:. . ". " ; ' : . .'.'The man - s>pea ks > up; and ' pays , he ' haw no assets Vjrfvaluables^of; an y.lsort.^: But* ; Bass»tt "takes: jhls^'hand* satchel -and \u25a0 opens Ii t. V.Out. : comes \u25a0; some " "collars ) and', socks "ari"d half /a r. page : . of ; a . "newspaper clipped out.;. Bill; read: the : ; clippings* careful; and ; held;out 'hlsr.haml- to^thej heldup party. :''?• -.- ;. - " 'Brother.' says he, '/greetings l.VAc'-, coptl thei apologies -of :f fiends." I'_am*Blli( Bassett. '.. the"; burglar.*?. Mr?;: Peters: you f must \u25a0' make f the ' acquaintaricelof Mr. Al \u25a0 f red : E. r : Ricks. 1 ! Shake: bands.i Mr.l Peters, V says; Bill, f /Mr.i Ricks;,; lnStlietjiine: of havoc and; corruption,^standsjabout half ,"= \u25a0wayj betweenVriio f and!you/f : ; HeTalways \ \u25a0gives 'something; for^the : irioneyj he : gets. I'm glad" \u25a0totmeet^youl; Mr.jßicks^-you; and- Mr.> Peters. 1 ; This^is ;the^first : time 111 1 ''ever '\u25a0\u25a0- attended :l: l a', i full v gatherin g ; of ' ? the i national "synod ;. of '{ sharks-chouse^ !breakihg,^swlndlingi: and^T. financiering) all i represented.!,;* PleaseX: 'examine^ Mr. Ricks' credentials/? Mr* v Peters.'. ~; -; j \u25a0"The piece > of -newspaper that Bill Bassett handed. me had- a fe good picture^ of i this ] Ricks • on.'- U. - V It was . a Chicago paper, and ; lt: v ; had obloquies of Ricks ; In ©very '- paragraph. /; By reading ; ; it > over : I \u25a0 harvested- the ; Intelligence that * said ; alleged! Ricks; had ,lald ; off all that portion yof the t : iitate; of -Florida that • lies under- water * lnto ; v town lots ; and sold Vem { to - alleged J Innocent - Investors . from his >. magriiflcently " furnished .; of fices in* Chicago. After; he had, taken in a hundred *>• thousand ,v or, so," "dollars, one of these If ussy, purchasers? that ' are always " making^ trouble -.' d'ye : i, had - 'em actually :< try X gold 'watches I've ' sold 'em; with, acid) took a cheap excursion down to the . land \u25a0\u25a0. where ? it ' is always ' Just' before 1 supper; ; to; look; at : . his lot. and i »ee ; if : it : didn't • need' a new paling' or' two 'on the : fence,' -and?: market a few lemons ; In time ; for the iChristmas ; present trade. -:H» hires 'a ' surveyor r . to find ! his lot for him." The>% run v the'- line" out ; and ; find ' the flourishing ;. town i' of Paradise ; Hollow, : ; so'^ advertised; to Ibe rods; and ; 16 .poles -\u25a0 S. 27 :^&' greet ;B.s:ofJthe T : middle ,of-Lake^Okee 'chobee: '. This /man's lot \ was \u25a0: under; S6 ; feet • of .'.water.y and,':' besides, v-had: been" pre-empted*; so ilong by ; the "alligators and . gars .that ; his title '; looked = fishy. ; r : ''Naturally. ; the <:mari^' goes back '•'\u25a0 to Chlcagojand X makes 'I It itist hot 'for; Xl ; f red » E.' j ßicks \ as r the morning ; after,' a prediction 'off snow \u25a0\u25a0'\u25a0\u25a0 by th<^ ' weather -bureau, 'r; Ricks'* defied;- the .allegation," ;;but'Jhe ; .couldn'tV'deny ; the \u25a0 One ; n»orningi the: papers*, came; out^with. a ,; column ; about : 1 1, i. arid /Ricks % comes out > by the ; fire "escape's ':. It f seems , th e alleged .authorities-h ad beat him to the e safe \ deposit ;> box li .whero.'? he -.- kept his ; winnings," if and r Ricks ; has Hto ;,west- ward, ho! i-withi o'nlyJ- feetwearV and a' "dozen ;,; ,1 5 %'.' English; pokes * in : his ; sho"p^ ping bag. >? He I happened vto "have "some mileage- left •inlhiajbook.f and that took htm. as; far. 1 as- the Uown . In; the; wilder-' : ness.v where he was spilled out ' on" me ; and; Bill;; Bassett as .Elijah lir^ with riot- a raven; in 'sight ,for ' any. of :us; , "Then this Alfred PJ.Ricks letsout a ; squeak "that he' is-: hungry, -too,, and 'passes up~the hypothesis that he is good ; for/ the value, let alonoj this ; price of a meal. . Arid so' there^VaK.tlie three, of us, : - representing, VlfJ-w^irjid a' mind to 'draw; syllogisms v and •parabolas, laWor ; arid nj trade . arid '£ capi tai.V*^ Now, "".when; i trad e|has'rio"<:apjtal-:th"pi lejisn*1 ejisn*t r a -"'dicker: to s be > -rriadp.VrAridt\Vh?h*'capital!has\no* '^moneyjthere'sTa'stagnation in st<?ak and \u25a0^onions. put' i t \u25a0up • to] tlio hian .with the jlmriry. ; '!'" '-''[\u25a0'7.-i'- -'": .-.X: - \u25a0\u25a0 " "Brothor; bushrangers." says Bill Bassett, • 'never.; yet ' -In i " trouble~dld ; I ;de^; ' sert '• »-; pal: , ;C Hard iby, i ln^ yon ;.wood," I seem f,to-:f ,to - : see unfurnished -lodgings.: L<jt ; ; us- go there arid Kwait; till fdark.' ,:' ''There c.was Y ari J 6ldldeserted|cabiri|ln: the grove, ; and -wo" tlirce'\ took *; posses-j ,sion of, 'it. 'After.darkf ter.dark Bill I Bassett tellsi s.us to wait and goes out for half >an hour.' * He/ comes jbackrwith? a; armful of bread " and y spareribs Sand ' ples.'^SßßßEiaßffijj :. '~i 'VPanharidled Vem f at ' a farmhouse ; ori '.Washita; avenue/ ; says he; . 'Eat, ; drink and r be leafy.' ' " '; •; -'3pjg6flßH ; "The full ,'moon; was .coming up ; bright; iso * w» . sat ori i th o floor ; t>f the cablri^and ~\ ate " in ' ; the - light ". btr~ It. V And ; this Bill Bassett begins to brag. .''/ Sometimes,' 'says he, - with ] his mouth^fulPoflcountry produce, : 'l lose all patience with you people; that", think you ;: are ; higher-up JinHhe- profession thanvl'am.^Now.'lwhaticvuld^eitherof; you 'do ; in : the present I emergency , to* set ; ua on our feet again? -.Could you do It, Rlckßyr.Vr^-.;-';~-v. --". ;^;^'^. ' -\u25a0' \u25a0\u25a0 .' \u25a0'\u25a0 '"'I :;, must ' confess, Mr.\ Bassett,' says Ricks, speaking; nearly. lnaudible -out of a , slice of ; pie, , 'that ; at 'this * immediate ', Juncture] I -could 'not, perhaps,", promote anVenterprise itolrelleve the situations Larger operations*-'' such : as ";I.*direct, naturally $ requiro S careful v preparation in i advance. I—' : .] ' :^XBg&^^UUI^tM "'I \u25a0 know,' \ Ricksy.V breaks .In Bill Bassett'v-v'You needn't finish. \u25a0'..'\u25a0 You nee 3 $GOO /- to ? make i the " first : payment ; on -" a blonde ; ; typewriter- and * four .• roomsf ul of; quartered": oak furniture."^ And y you need* $500"more^ for \u25a0< advertisingf;con tracts.?;. And > you: need itwb\weeks*' time for) the flshitoibegJnto bite. ? Your -line" of relief would be about as useful in an emergency ias ,: advocating • : municipal ownership to cure a" man^auffocatedHby ;80 • i cent T gas. ."Arid your ; graft : ain't' much /;.-;, swifter,' . : Brother ,'. Peters,' V he' winds " uP'S^^^ShBBHHBB .'\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0-- \u25a0\u25a0' ' X" 'Oh,' • says ;I, ,'I haven" t seen you 'turn' anything; . into r. goid : .with your wand • yet,tMr." Good \ Fairy. \u25a0 ; 'Most \ any- vbody. cpuld } rub j th o ; magic ; ring/ f or^ a II ttle i leftover '.victuals. 1 . " 'That was only: getting the -pump-' •kin ready/;; says : Bassett/ ,-bra'ffgy' and i/cheerful. ;:»The*jcoach; and six'll- drive" Jup tojthe door before you know, Jt,' Miss' : Cinderella. ifs Maybe \u25a0;'. you' vo-: got' : some i schemoTunderTypur sleeve holders- that will^glye us'a I start/ ' " 'Son,' . ; ; says p 1,7 Tm 15 years - older. than i you . : are, • and young :: ; enough- to -.yetitake; out ian'endowment^pol icy. I've ,-been-jbroke \u25a0 before.V We'can see the lights ;o; of 'that 7towniiot half a mile (awajvV^l^learned "under Montague;Sll 'ver>\the;greatest\street man : that ever '' spoke f rom ; a >wagori.V There, arc.liun'i dreds:of men walking 7 .those 'streets '-'tills moment, with .."grtasoV »j.»ots; ori jhclr clbthes^ r Giver me-a tga^uiine lamp, .a » dry 'goods [box. Vand^a two-dollar^ bar. of \u0084whiteTcastile;soaV;t:ut'iriuV-;uttlQ— r— '.' : . " .'.Where's your -two "dollars?" snlck- Jered;Biir Bassett 'into i.wy •, »liscour.-'«'. -.There' was: no 7 use' arsuinpr -\vitli Jtln.-t \ bu r gla>. ~ 7^^SBSbBSS^B^^sI^SS9S^ •• :"Xo,' - he ..g'oes ;nn: ."both .babes : in. the. woods". .'-FJnaii';'^i has <,-«^.- f ''' the, mahogany; desk : ; ;i ritl ; f ;-vi i\c , has *. p utu t ,the? shutters ;\ip.~ y Both ; of; y-Tii I'iuk •to labor to \u25a0. start th^ whof>lK . proliiß. '•- -,1-VU "right. «v You "admit it; i.T.onlght.;!'!! ahow you'what'Bill' Bassett;oan: do.' "..'Bassett ' tells^me" a.iid ; ; Ricks; not to leave the - cablh^;, till v-heV<'oni"eß^ back; .even if, it's [daylight,"; and then* he .starts • off *towardsitown, - iwhlstLlngvgay.'. \; ; "JThls ? Alfred jE., Ricks pulls off; hia !' shoes 3 arid i hi s -_' coat, ' lay s^ a ) silk I hand-* kerchief 'over c his.lhat;^and lays down *onT the,: floor.'! 1 "' :**. ; ~t^'r - - - ' " 'IfthlnkrlwilHendeavor to secure'a llttlel slumber,',; he i squeaks. ; .'The \ day ; T fatlguhig." " Good ' night, my rdear}MrrjPeters.v::;K"- : ".\u25a0'.i.-'-V'-. '-'•'. \u25a0 :,'.' ; ; ' X . v\u25a0 ," ' =-" ."/My 3. regards f to' Morpheus, *"-says'" I. 'I'think'rirsitiup'a^while.vV' , > J :"About;2fo'clock, ! ;assnearia3;i;could ' guess V by^my^watch"; in \ Peavino,^ home comes \ our,i laboring : man ' and \ kicks" up The San Francisco Sunday Call. Ricks and .calls us to the streak of bright moonlight shining In the. cabin door. Then he spreads out packages of $1,000 each on the floor, and begins to cackle over the nest egg- like a hen. \u25a0:" 'I'll' tell you 'a' few about that town/ says he. 'It's "named Rocky ;Springß,tand they're building a Masonic temple, and it looks llko the democratic candidate for "mayor is going < '-to"*, get • soaked *by a ; npp. -. and : Judge ; Tucker's .wjfe.vwho has oeen down with pleurisy. Is some better. I had to talk on these Itliputian. theslses before "I 'could get a siphon In the fountain of knowledge that I -was after. And there's : a , bank there: called the' Lumberman'^ Fidelity Plowman's- savingiT" lnstitution.- "" TltT It closed vfor.v business yesterday with 523,000 cash on hand. It will open' this inorn ing with $18,000— all silver— that* : the ;'feaaoni I didn't bring more. There ,you are, trade and : capital. .. Now, will you : be badr . r . .; . ' , : 4 . " 'My, young friend,' says Alfred E. Ricks, holding up his hands, 'have you robbed; this'bank? Dear me, dear- me!' "'You couldn't call It that.' says Bassettr. ",'Robblng" sounds harsh. All I had to do was to find out what street it was '.on. The ; town : was so quiet that; l could stand on- the street corner, and hear the tumblers clicking 'ln*.;that safe lock — "right to 45; left twice to 80 ;- J right once: to 60; left to l 15?-^-as plaln^as the Yale captain giv ing, orders inlthe. football dialect. Now, .boys,' -says? Bawett,- 'this :1s- an .'early rising .town. , .They tell me the citizens are all up and stirring before daylight. I asked r what " for,' - and - they said . be cause;; breakfast \u25a0> was ready ;- at that time. ; And{what*6f merry Robin Hood? It;must,be*jToicksl and; away with .the tinkers*-; chorus, v I'll stake you..;; How much do you*waatT Speak up" Capital.* •^.'.VMy ;d 9 arj young , friend,',' says \ this ground squirrel of a Ricks, standing on his hind legs and Jußslinsr nut« In his paws,-:/! "; have friends ... In • Denver -who _would. assist; me.j If I had a hundred 1-^-' J. . " v \u25a0 "Bassett unpins a package of the currency and .throws' five .. twenties to Rlcks/r --*:'\u25a0.;•; >: > : \u25a0 '• ": -'.v :\u25a0\u25a0 -•-:< " . V " 'Trade,^ how muchV he. says'to m«. . '"P4 l ; your" money ; - up, tabor," says L 'I never ? yet drew upon honest toil for Its hard /earned pittance. 'The dollars I get are surplus ones, that are burning the^ pockets f of damfools - and* green horns. *.When" I stand on a street; cor ner and sell a solid gold diamond ring ,to; a*.yap,;for' $3,. I make Just $2.60. And I know , he's going . to give it \u25a0' to a- girl In -return for* all the - benefits accruing from a $125 ring. His profits are $12". Which /of us,: is the biggest faker?*., / ;";-\u25a0 \u25a0; . • "".. : \u25a0\u25a0>- : " " 'And I when'; you: sell a; poor woman a "'; pinch {of ' sand ; for '50 ; cents ' toj^ keep her, lamp ; from > exploding/ ; ; says " Baa sett, '.'what ;do -you flgur* her* gross earnings to be, with sand at 40 cents " "Listen, 1 ; says 1.. 'I Instruct her. to keep .• her lamp clean and well: filled. If < she does that .'it can't And with -the sand In tit she knows It can't, and she don't worry.* *\u25a0 ~E; Ricks all but licks the dust off! of Bill Bassett's shoes. r" Ily'dearj young frlend.V says he, 'I will never, forget ' your ..' generosity. Heavenywlll ; reward • you."!:.; But : let : me Implore; you ,; to ' turn -from your ways of; violence and crime.' ' \u0084'.\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0 O;'*<Mousie.V; says Bill; 'the hole infcthe .wainscoting .< for, yours. v\Your dogmas and". lnculcations ; sound to me like \u25a0 the last -words •: of \u25a0; a \ bicycle pump.' -What has your "high 1 moral; elevator service systems, of pillage brought you- to? Penuriousness ; and want Even Brother Peters, who insists upon contaminating thwart; of v_ robbery . w lth '- theories of corrifnerce ; and trade, - admitted . he ' was on itho Jltft. youlllve by.the gilded", rule. Brother. Peters,' says Bill, ; 'you'd: better a slice of : - this ; em- J&almed- currency, r You're welcome.* ' " r*v"l ; told Bill Bassett once;more to put his money ' in" bis ' pocket. I ' never had the : respect for burglary .that 1 ; some p^ple; have. *I always 'gave 'something , for.; the.^ money I -'took,-- even if. it -was only, some little trifle for a' souvenir Ito ' remind .'crh \ nn t -", to : : get : caught I again." '.' "And \u25a0•\u25a0 then Alfred -E.\ Ricks 'grOvels j'at 'Bill's feet again,- and : bids us adieu. lle.rsays A he,-v/ill hire a team/ at a Ifafnilious^r and; drive .to. the: station',be low'"and take the train* for Denver. It salubrin"ed;the atmosphere .when that lamentable ;boll;worm- took his depart ure. He Jwas a disgrace j to ' every ! non industrial profession" in 'the country. Wltlu oil :.'\u25a0 hisj : 'bigr; schemes' 'and ,'flne offices lirhad'woundup unable even to pt-t an. honest meal except, by the klnd n<'t;a of a "strange and maybe 'unscrupu •ibTisiburglar. 1 ; 1 was glad: to see him go. rthougii .1 "felt a little' sorry. r for him.' ik^a' .that"_lj«r'wasjrulned'f6rever.;; What .couliJ; >ucli » "man Tdo" \u25a0'without! a.big capital : lo work with? Why, Alfred, E. Ricks, aa,,we' : .lof t him. was as helpless ]:ia.'. > . turtl'? on v its ; back. ' He ; couldn't have tyorkod ; a scheme* to beat a 'little girl out v of a" penny, slate pencil." - . \u25a0"When nic anri Bill ;Ba?sett* was 'left aloin: 7 1- did a \u25a0 little; sleight of hand turn in my.' head .with a trade secretfat the oml : of it.' \Thlnks , l, I'll "show ; this; Mr: Burglar Man the ': difference between : business :'a*hd labor. He had hurt some '.of ."rhy^V professional self-adulation *;by casting: his -"Persiana upon commerce and' trade. \ r ; l "VI-, won't take any of your money as a;gift;iMr.'Bassett.';:says Ijto :hlha.- 'but 'if you'll'; pay; my expenses a3 , a, tray- ; .elingt;'companlon\until, we; get * out of 'the [danger,; zone :*of? the ; lmmoral deficit \u25a0you'have; caugied in' this', town's finances ; tonight,^ I'lljbeobliged.' ; <;" ? / ; : "Bill jßtt3sett agreed to - that, and we ; hiked as; soon '\u25a0 as we h could catch-, a] sa.fo' train." - ; . \ "When Iwe got' to a town In Arizona "called LosPerros I suggested that we ' once more try our luck. on terra cotta. That was, the home of Montague Sil ver, my old instructor, now retired from business. I knew Monty would stake me to web money If I could show ; -him a fly buzzing 'round In the locality. , Bill Bassett said all towns looked alike . to him, as be worked mainly in the dark. So we got off the train in Los : Perros, a. fine little town In the sliver ; region. "I had an elegant little sure thing In 'the way of a commercial slungshot that I intended to hit Bassett behind ; the, ear with. I wasn't going to take, '•his money while he was asleep, but I, ,was going to leave him with a lottery! ticket that would represent In "expert-* ence to him 15,755. r think that was the amount he had when he got off: the train. But the first time I hintetl ; -to him about an Investment he turns* on me and disencumbers himself of the following terms and expressions: ! . \u2666 " "Brother Peters,* says he, 'It ain't a | bad Idea to go Into an enterprise of j 'some kind, as you suggest. I think I, : will. But if I do it will b,e sacb a cold; proposition that nobody but Robert E. ; Peary; and Charlie Fairbanks will be able to sit on the board of directors." ! "'I thought you might want to turn 1 your money over,' says I. -**1 do,' says he, 'frequently. I can't: sleep on. one side all night. Til tell you. Brother Peters.' says he, Tm ; going to start a poker room. I don't , seem to care for the humdrum In swindling, such as peddling egg beat- 1 ers and working off breakfast food on; Barnum and Bailey for sawdust to strew in their circus rings. But thai gambling business,' says he, 'from the . ' profitable side of the table Is a good : .compromise between "_ swiping silver .spoons., and < selling, .penwipers at a' "Waldorf -Astoria " charity.",bazaar.' - "'Then,' "says 1. -'Mr. ; Bassett, you' don't care to talk over my little busl- ', -ness .proposition?* " *Why/ says he, 'do you know, " you ; can't gat a Pasteur institute to start! up within 50 miles of where I live. I j bite- so seldom.' "So Bassett rents a room over a sa- 1 loon and looks around for soas furni ture end chromos. Th«'sama night I) went to Monty Silver's house and he let! me have J2flO on my prospects. Thenj I went to tee only store In Los Perrosi that, sold playing cards and bought: every deck in*- the. house. The next morning v;hon tha itore opened Z was there,-bringing all the cards back with? me. I said that my. partner that wu going to back me In the game had [ changed his mind, and T wanted, to sell the cards back again. The storekeeper! took;,'em;at half price. -"Tes. I was $75.Ioser,tip to that time.! But while I had the cards that night I! • marked every one In every deck. Thati was labor. And then ' trade and com- j* meres had their, innings, and tha bread , I had cast upon -the "waters began t» : come back in the form of cotta s9 pud ding with wine sauce. "Of course I was among tha firtt to buy chips at Bill Bassett's game. Ha had bought .the only cards there was to be had in town; and I knew the back of every one of them better than 1 -know the back of my - bead when the' barber shows me my haircut In tha two 'mirrors. "When the game closed I had ta» six thousand and a few odd dollars, and all Bill Bassett had was the wanderlust and a blank cat he tad bought for a mascot. Bill shook hand* with me when I left. •"Brother Peters.' cays he, 1 have no business being In business. I was pre ordained'to labor. ...When a 2»o* 1 bur glar tries to make a James out of his •"Jimmy he perpetrates Jan Improfandlty. You have a* well oiled .and efficacious system of luck cards.' says he. "Peace go with you.' And I v never afterward sees Bill .Bassett again." "Well, Jeff," said I. when the lycan , adventurer soe-med to have di vulged the gist of his tale, "I hopa you took care of the money. That .would be a :respeeta — that is a considerable working .capital If you should choose ** /some* day to settle down to some sort of regular business." "Me?" said Jeff, virtuously. Tou can bet I've^taken care of that six thousand." ; He* tapped . his coat over. the region of his chest exultantly. . TGold .mlningr stock," he explained. "every, cent of It Shares par value $1. Bound to go up 500" per cent within a year. Nonassessable: The Blue Gopher mine. Just « discovered a month ago. Better get In yourself if you've any spare dollars on hand." "Sometimes," said I, "these mines ar» . -"Oh. this one's solid- "STi an old goosW." \u25a0 said -"Jeff. ,;."Fifty ".thousand dollars' .worth of ore in sight and 1(T per cent monthly ; earnings guaranteed." - . He drew *a * long mvelopo from his pock*st and cast it on tho. table.. "Always carry it with me," said he. "So the burglar can't corrupt or " the capitalist break in and water It." " "I j looked at the beautifully engraved certificate of stock. 1 "In ' Colorado, I see." said I.' "And, by the way. Jeff, what was the name ; of? the little man who went to- Denver : one. "you and Bill met at the ' station?" \u25a0 . " "Alfred E. Ricks." • said Jeff, "was th« toad's "designation.", . ; • "I see," .-• said I, "the president of this company signs himself A. •Lfc-Frederlcks. .l:was,wondering-^-" ' ' "Let me see : that stock." said Jeff " quickly, almost snatching: it from me ' To • mitigate.*:' even r though alightly* the embarrassment ,of .the moment I ) summoned . the ; waiter land 'ordered an other bottle of. the Barbera. I . thought jit was the leaat.l could do.