The San Francisco call. [volume], February 20, 1910, Page 15, Image 15

About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

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The San Francisco Sunday Call
Perpetual Youth is Yours
YOU can never grow old so long as you have a mind of your own.
It is youth-provoking to possess a mind. To realize this mental
condition, keep arguing:, and to encourage the habit of argu
ment, read pages such as these before you, pages full of human interest.
Don't be a back number; be up to date, and'get'in iouch with every
thing about yoti. When you find yourself beginning to drop out,^you are
growing old; you are in need of medicine, of mental stimulus.., You have
reached a landmark over which you will have to climb if you would go on
your way rejoicing. You have arrived at a point where you will have to
discover what malscs the bump in the road.
The different sketches, written by women and for women, will help you^
to find out just where your interest lapses. Diagnose your own disease"
and treat it immediately. If you have lost the power to respond to the
interests of other women, bring yourself round with a pull, because
there's something vitally vriong with you. "-*\u25a0 -"iV -,'
If you are a woman of women, you will be stirred to action by the
domestic side of life or spurred on to further effort on the personal
appearance side. Our pages make a general appeal, and if you are of the
distinctly thoughtful type, there's mental food to stimulate. Family dis
cussions, including wife, husband and children, will interest you if you
are in normal health, and talcs of lover and loved one will keep you young
in spirit, even if age is coming on apace.
The medicines are on the shelf before you. Find outjwhich one you
need.
IN MEMORIAM
r I held it truth, with him who sings
To one dear harp in divers tones.-
That men nay rise on stepping-etones
Of their dead celvss to higher things, '
THE BUSINESS WOMAN
AS A WIFE AND MOTHER
OURS is a country which bows down
to ability, a country where brain
rules, and the power to do things
is of more consequence than ancestry
or fortune. The more highly educated,
the more skilfully trained, are the
women as well as the men, the more
esteemed they are, the happier they
are and the more effective service they
render the world.
Aside from the money-making possi
bilities of a trnde or profession, the girl
so trained makes a better wife and
mother. It requires no arguments to
prove that the wife who has the broaA
er outlook which comes of a business
life can more surely understand, coun
sel and sympathize with her husband
in his career. She will more easily and
economically administer her household
in accordance with business principles.
She will adjust her duties to a eystem,
have fewer difficulties with her serv
ants and a greater self-control. With
out a doubt such a woman is more
companionable, more helpful and more
satisfactory' as a wife than the cling
ing vine.
The woman who has mastered one
thing well enough to support herself
by it will have added to her require
ments as a wife, and she will have a
poise, a feeling of confidence and a
point of view that will be of inestimable
assistance in the management and
training of her children. She will strike
a saner balance In determining the rel
ative Importance of things, and having
come in personal contact with commer
cial life eh* will be better fitted to pre
pare her children to rr.eet its difficul
ties, enjoy its pleasure*", profit by Its
lessons and avoid its pitfalls. She will
instill such principles of conduct and
of business as will render their path to
irood citizenship, successful enterprise,
high and happy living sure and safe.
We must never forget that in the
mother's hand lies the future of the
home and the nation. All that Bbc is,
for good or evil, goes to her children
as a heritage.
There is a raying. "Old heads for
counsel." which only means that age
stands for experience, and of expe
rience wisdom is born. So that
\u25a0woman is the best mother, the safest
adviser, who is best informed and
— iist capable.
There seems to be a mistaken no
tion among a' certain class that to
eCucate a fcirl or make her sclr-sup
portlng will bias her against matri
mony. This statement, though often
FOR THE WOMAN WHO THINKS AND FEELS
But who shall » forecast the years
And find in loss a gain to match?
Or rtach a hand thro* time to catch
The far-off interest of. tears? .
Let Love clasp Grief lest both be drown'd.
Let darkness keep her raven gloss;
Ah, sweeter to he drunk with loss,
To dance with death, to beat the ground,.
Than that the victor Hours should scorn
The long result of love, and" boast,
"Behold the man that loved and lost.
But all he was is overworn.'*
'—Tennyson. ,
advanced, is. nevertheless, too weak
to stand attack. "^Nobody yet has
found any argument, reason or plea
strong _ enough to prevent women
from marrying. Every day women
are casting aside friends, family, for
tune, native land, high social posi
tion and even careers for the sake
of men, and not always worthy mj;n.
There is no limit to their sacrifices in
this respect.
But if it should occasionally seem
to the self-supporting girl that she
prefers to remain single, her perfect
right to do so cannot for a moment
be questioned, nor can it be said that
her decision would operate Injurious
ly to herself or humanity. All the
unmarried women I have known have
done a large and by, no means .unim
portant share of the world's work,
and usually made a better job of it
than many of their married acquaint
ances. " \;'^'rS
The truth is, and it is a distinct
gain from every point of view, that
the independent" young woman is not
compelled to accept the first man who
proposes to her, for the sake of three
meals a day. She can support herself
while waiting contentedly until she
meets a man who is something more
to her than a mere breadwinner^
Many unhappy unions, with all their
distressing and demoralizing conse
quences, would be avoided were it
not a question of marriage or starva
tion. —Sarah Curtis Mott.
Repetition
DO YOU.ever wonder why poets talk
so much about flowers? -.Did you
ever hear of a poet who did -riot
talk about them? Don't you' think a
poem .which, for the sake of being
original, should leave them out would
be like those verses where the letter
a ore. or some other, is omitted? No;
they will bloom over and over again
in poems as in the summer fields, to
the end of time, always old and always
new. Why should we be- more shy. of
repeating ourselves, than .the spring bo
tired of blossoms or the night of stars?
Look at nature. She never wearies of
saying over her floral pater-noster. vln
the crevices of cyclopean walls — In^the
dust where men lie, dust also— on * the
mounds that bury huge cities, . the ' Bira
Nemroud and the Babel-heap— still "that
same sweet prayer and benediction.
The Amen! of nature is always .a
flower. —Holmei. i.
THE ERSTWHILE LOVER
MR. JAMES MONTGOMERY mount
ed the high brownstone steps
with a conscious air that he was
decidedly looking his best. His tailor
had exerted himself, and "Monty," as
she had often called him, was hand
some at his worst. So a most irre
sistible combination was ushered Into
the cozy reception ' hall by the neat
little maid." He glanced quickly over
the field of attack, for let it be^ strictly
understood that James Montgomery had
called *to make Her sorry. He fully
Intended to monopolize the limelight,
to the everlasting detriment and ruin
of the husband..
Well, the room was not so bad. By
Jove! A piece of the real Georgian
"A PIECE OF GEORGIAN SILVER"
silver—must have, been a gift from a
rich relative. Never expected to wipe
the feet upon a rug like that in the
hall, either. But still, you never can
tell these days whether the house has
been furnished by the happy couple or
by the invited guests.
He wondered whether he was very
much missed at the wedding. He meant
that his absence should be felt, and he
had hoped that she wouid ask for him;
but his faithful retainers and hench
men failed to give him any'satisfactory
report on the awful hiatus due to his
absence. .** '
A soft, sweeping rustle of silk sound
ed on the stairway. James, gave
one quick brush over his glossy black'
hair, drew down the corners of. his
mouth and . looked up."
She entered with, outstretched hands
and gave him a hearty shake.
"Monty!" she exclaimed. "Why, I
% There is No Unbelief
THERE is no unbelief, .
Whoever plants a leaf beneath the
tod; \
And' volts to* see it push away the clod.
He trusts in God. .
Whoever says, when' clouds are In the
\u25a0 '• "sky, . . \u25a0 - \u25a0 •' - '
"Be patient, heart, light breaketh by
and by," .
Trusts. In -the Most High. .
Whoever sees,' 'neath winter's field of
""-.,.\u25a0 snow', . .-*.- \u25a0\u25a0 \u25a0 \u25a0 : ." -. \u25a0 ; \u25a0
The silent har\est of the future grow,
\u25a0_ God's power must know.
Whoever lies down on hla couch to sleep,
Content- to lock each 1 sense in slumber
' vdKPp**- - -\u25a0 .v .:...-\u25a0 \u25a0. . '-;- ;-. \u25a0 \u25a0> \u25a0\u25a0 .
*£,-; Knows God will; keep. • . .
Whoever says "tomorrow,", "the" un
' known," - - .
"The i future," trusts unto that ; Power
..' : . ; - alone , ' ." - 1" ' ..... ' .. ;': ;
* H« dares disown.
The heart* that looks* on when the eye
lids close . -; .
And '. dares to live when life has . only
..woes.
God's comfort knows. • \ %£
There ls.no unbelief : :
And,; day by day 7 arid knight,, uncon
sciously - " .'\u25a0-." .
Tho hea*rt lives by that faith the lips
"deny. - , ': • -;/•\u25a0- -
God v knows the . why.
" —L. T. Case.
Eive^Now
DONJT- epend 1 ; all -your 4 tlme ( ' getting
\ ready -to ' live, y bu t , ''live ;> now !".
\u0084 \Th«re . will \u25a0 never ' be' a r time when
you \ will . be any '-.ready.' _The
mere , fact • that . you ;: are ; aiming . In • the
right direction sproves? it."* .iXi/;-- ;
thought that you were hunting the
latest edition of femininity in Zanzibar
or' the Fiji islands. Have you recov-'
ered from the affair sufficiently . to sip
tea? Well, ring the little bell, there,
Monty, and I will test your capacity ; for
the beastly stuff." t . s
Thereupon, Mr. Montgomery gave the
signal for the afternoon beverage to be
'brought.
"Well?" he asked, throwing a world
of meaning into the monosyllable.
"Very well, thank you," she anSwered
with' a twinkle in her eyes. i "Yes,"
drawing down her. lips and looking al
most pained in the eyebrow region, "I
really have managed to forget that you
loved me." Then ehe gazed thought
fully at the fire.
He shifted in his' seat. Things were
growing-— well, dramatic, to say th« least.
He had never guessed that it was that
serious. He had a vision of a clinging,
weeping figure and,a daring situation.
Why -bother- about seeing plays? He
was living one everyday! So he nerved
himself for the climax. J
"I .dropped In to see if you are hap
py,"' he explained. "You see, I felt
that your husband did not know you
so well as 1 do. and I wished to give
a few suggestions as to what you like,
you know." •'.'.- . \u25a0\u25a0
He did not see the surprised, amused
twist of her eyebrow, nor did he scent
the" enjoyment In her manner when she
replied. "O, I am afraia *ybu can do
"\u25a0nothing now— nothing." "; '
Mr.'; James Montgomery/ sat . --up- and
straightened his tie. He -had no right
to reach for her hand, but 'something
told him that a heroic offer %to comfort
the "poor, broken-hearted thing ; was
about duei She adroiily removed it in
time. .". ;. '\u25a0\u25a0/".-.,'
Monty was disappointed, but gazed
longingly at the. pretty little , shoe that
peeped out from the folds of her dress.
Verily, this would , furnish j a ripping
story- at the club. j Well, you cannot
disregard love and then expect it: to
give no after pangs in the .'presence of
the, One.
He tried to recall the description of
her husband/ but -failed. He refrained
from mentioning him, but he knew that
he must be .everything that was cata
loged* as impossible. With the increas
ing satisfaction with himself there came
a pity for her. Well, he would be just
a trifle cruel; and show her what- she
had missed. So he rose and walked to
the table, where he placed a white arid
well-manicured hand upon a book there. .
He then glided to the mantel and leaned
against it in; his, southern, litha grace.
His brown eyes rested upon the little
creature In the chair.
\u25a0 "I am sorry for. you," he sajdp there'
was a clever Infusion of tears . in his
eyes, and the tremolo stop was well
worked in his voice. "Why did you not*
send for me?" \ .
jjjcuraqous
llfodpiefft
ONE \u25a0of our, poets compares the close
'% of fa ' gorgeous \ day . v to '-'the smile
V- of a gracious", woman." .\ :: '
Graclousness \well .; becomes the older '
woman*; but is, little -hop© -of 'Its;
clinging fin" sufficient -quantity" to? cheer
the; failing years if ; it be not encouraged "
In youth. -t. Our ; young -people. are "mot
' taught ' graciousness : today.-.' and '-\u25a0 middle :
life is so strenuous as ; to : stifle what has
budded - earlier iOfatsiown volition.v ; ;
•.The gift goes \u25a0outiupon. its well-mean
ing pleasant way. as an; unconscious test
. of .-the* graclousneaa '.of a womankind.
Men , are ; neither i blessed - with : an 1 ; over- [
abundance of 2 gifts f nor , ; burdened t with \u25a0:
scruples as >to * their i acceptance. They
look- at ?the? pleasant "surprise,- they likej
; lt r (or \u25a0-- don't). - and accept -it .smilingly \
enoughVvand /that's « the-, last -of; it; buf
women • ; protest t their n unwillingness :: to ;
being I thought ' t'a" recipient." ft^They j are, .;;
as a rule, averse, to T accepting; presents
and none tooigracious in their methods^
of thanking. •\u25a0- „ ; , il :* \u25a0: •
\u25a0 .This* is. one^of \u0084the^places-, where^
tactful i woman -forgets -her "tact,' and"
the r absence fi of '\u25a0', it \u25a0% palls \ upon & her
"MONTY! SHE EXCLAIMED"
"WHat can be done now?" she asked,
with a' despairing .uplifting 'of her hands.
"I am married, and you must ' try to
forget it. Mpnty." g
A warm avowal was knocking* at his
lips, but Monty felt in duty bound to
himself to hold the pose a little longer,
for he had caught a glimpse of Himself
in the long mirror, and he was Im
pressed.
Just then a man entered the room. Ha
was the handsome opposite* of James
Montgomery, with the advantage a
little on his side. A little larger was
the Intruder, a trifle stronger and a
little less, aware of his own importance
in the great cosmos. '
"Oh, George," the woman hysterically
called out, as she flew to the strong
one's arms. "Saye — "
Therewas a quick change of position
at the mantel. What a brute he had
been! He might' have known that-she
couldn't stand the renewal of "an old
affair! Really, he had not guessed at
the slate of things! .
She was standing at her .husband's
side and sobbing on his shoulder. But
He was rather , enjoying himself, for a
smile ; was illuminating his features.
Then < from the coat, tear-stained, an
other face was turned In James' direc
tion." "Save— Monty from— himself!" she
gurgled. : • .
As James Montgomery Iff t the house
as, hastily as was compatible .with a
dignitied and impressive exit, he had a
vision of two happy, clingiflg figures in
the glow of the fire. \u25a0' /
\u25a0 friends. Her aloofness Is not a pleas
ant habit, and Mt approaches very"
near to ~ meanness.".*" '-i . \u25a0\u25a0"-. f W-. - Y;: \u25a0.
.lit . is the . settled belief of some 'who
are naturally" contentious, that ; those
who find!it .impossible? to, accept. are.
themselves \u25a0 the parsimonious.* and be
that asMtmay; the 1 prevalent idea of , :
a returni does . not- imply a generous
spirit..- ..-; - - •'.; \u25a0\u25a0-•. -v" ..?;•- • '..-\u25a0->- .\u25a0.•'...
- ."Have I," ask yourself. \"ever given;
\u25a0 anything jin the hoi>e of a return?"
I trust not. whether, it be to friend, :
or, foe.-tcfri stranger.: The equivalent
idea ~.i rarely; enters',: into the .mind- of
; the .giver. -It .is -not -present In> the-.
"larger ~mind,' : -but it fairly consumes
that; certain type of; woman who -de-"
clines the-gift. "on; principle." - j;
.. She: It is -who. lives rigidly ; up,to. her
: obligations (or \u25a0 down ' J to * them) and.
, discourages r all . . generous friends,
fearing.cto incur; further; obligations.
: :This = not very pleasant woman ex-
eludes all"'- impulse from . her own ac- \u25a0
1 tions; ' -hers ,\\%: a* - well-thought-out
; code. -She is ever just. ~ but her jus
tice ."is:- seldom - softened; with: mercy.
VWhat : might ' have 2 been £ her generos- "
' Jty;.-had .Bhe'allowecl»it:play In •youth.*"
has ?\u25a0 hardened 'into self -satisfaction '
whehashe justly 'bestows s where -it Ms ;
..necessary, and .without , involving her
self Mn continued It' is
her, ;.* further - satisfaction >to ;"repa'y"
atv once, and -this. also for reasons of
obligation "or _ so-called justice. J \u25a0 - *:
\u25a0\u25a0iThey 7 " cannot \u25a0; always -• help this. : these
unfortunate women r whose \u25a0 pride : forbids
; them the warmth T of •. art \u25a0, interchange *\u25a0 of
. civilities. -.'; Pride it is. "Unnecessary, un
• healthy L-prlde belonging : to the narrow •
woman. r j9^S3j tV&SttrlkS^B^i^^SkiXtfim^t V&Stt r lkS^B^i^^SkiXtfim^
~.^That broader, happier. ; care-free type
of .woman; like whom ' we. ajl yearn to
..be-^-she -• of ; the generous, t hearty,- make
ups-just -takes KthtngsV as," they.; come.
She knows i.they s meant ;. well,", and- she
loves s them : for \u25a0 it. ;.«-. f >\u25a0'-».-/. 7. . . ' " \u25a0-,~- V / -
: , Return ltT-Nofihithe'least.willshe re- *
turn '.ft! *s- She : may \ give them \ something
- some 'i time,' ?* when M and -:\ because r she
wants to, but 'not ; to l : pay v them .back.
But ! she i will do a" great, f great ' deal for
v somebody else.' ' She , will ' pass tho favor
along.* .';\u25a0", ••'•.'- .
DO YOU HAVE TO ASK
YOU HUSBAND?
\u25a0 . .. «^
T IS astonishing
how many wom
en hesitate to
decide on buying
or upending un
til they- have re
ferred the ques
tion to their hus
bands. Nor are
they wives of
\u25a0 poor men, to
whom the pur
chase of one
- thing means the
sacrifice of an
other. It may be
a necessity, be
cause • the hus
band requires it. It may be a cour
tesy, or merely a habit established in
honeymoon days and since persisted
in. Whatever the reason, it needs con
sideration. \ •
The woman who does this from ne
cessity Is to be pitied, ' because it
shows how much a slave she ha^ be
come. She acknowledges at once her
inferiority to herhusband. She Is not
capable of filling competently the posi
tion in the home which she was
elected to occupy. Any woman who
can be Intrusted with the important
functions of wife, and mother can
surely"b« permitted to handle a part,
at least, of the family funds.
bid you ever observe a' woman look
ing 1 at something she wanted very
much, notice the" expression of pleas
ure fade into one of doubt and final
resignation as she remarked. "I'll wait
and see"? In her, heart there was a
fear that the husband wou'.d disap
prove, and It was easier to forego her
desire than to take chances on a do
mestic disagreement. For the man
with this meanness of nature can
make things very unpleasant.
The other day. I was present In a
home wherca woman was explaining
a very fine course in history to several
young ladles. It was very beautiful
and very helpful, and her listeners
were much, interested. As one of the
young. women was about to take it a
young man came into the room. With
meaning look, he shook his head'em
phatically. She hesitated and finally
reluctantly abandoned the purchase.
The facts which give light to this oc
currence are these: The girl Is a
school teacher, her knowledge of his
tory Is very limited, she desired to
.supplement her unfinished education
as much as > possible. The man is to
be "her husband, unless a merclfut
Providence prevents. The whole point
is here: What klftd of a husband will a
man make who ..before marriage as
sumes so much authority over h's
future bride as to dictate how she shall
WITH THE EYES OF A
HOSTESS
HAVE heard that
in your paper. If
an y where. .ft n
outsider— one of
the dear public—
can get a hear
ing. Is this true,
and may 1 speak
out my mind so
that those who
run may r ©ad?
I hope most sin
cerely that the
person who wrote
"Alone In .a
Guestroom" 'or
your. columns last Sunday will not run
s6fa?t he cannot see to read. Yd like
to tell him a thing or two about the
way a' hostess feels.
• Now, I am a plain, blunt woman,
with my share of common sense.. I
have kept house for thirty years and
have rentertained a great many visitors
—"guests," he ' calls them.
Now "guests" are but tramps. In my
estimation, when they march into your
spare room and plant their dress-suit
cases right down on your best white
bedspread. There are others; all of my
guests have not been -tramps, because
about half of them have remembered
that; the last place their grip stood was
on a' street corner, and 'the place just
before the last was: the ? car. floor.
I- m not bitter and < prejudiced 7 not all
of the people who^have visited me ha\e
treated my bedspreads with contempt,
but some of them have -tried other ex
periments. One lady* friend ripped a
black dress and used the spare room bed,
as a' sewing table. '•• ,~ .
Beds seem .to suffer most. A youns
girl we knew put" a new eiderdown quilt
under .the sheet to sleep on. -We think
our beds are soft enough far anybody.
\u25a0 We : clean our shoes in the out-kltch
expend money she hefselX has earned;
who interferes with her educational
ambitions and has her already so In
timidated and so far under control as
to cause her to relinquish what would
mean ao much to her and to her chil
dren? What can she promise her
self? I prophesy that that man will
be niggardly with his Income and dom
ineering in household affairs. He will
* keep her- in constant subjection to his
•^selfleh nature . and there wi'.l be no
sweetr.es» In her life. He will be her
lord and master, not a congenial com
rade, giving as well as taking. A pros
pect which should give her pause.
As a matter of courtesy. It b a
pretty Idea to mention the anticipated
purchase of something of equal Inter
est to both. In such case there is no>
restraint or fear of consequences should
a consultation not be previously held.
\u25a0When a woman becomes a partner in
the new home, it Is presupposed that
she Is capable of realizing the relation
ship. She should not accept the posi
tion en other than equal. terms. Her
dignity should not be Insulted by con
tinual criticisms of her management and
constant espionage of her expenditure*.
If she can be trusted with such precious
merchandise as her husband's honor
and her children's soul 3. can one not
take chances on the 1e33 vital matter
of the family purse?
Occasionally I meet a woman who has
made it a rule to share with her hus
band all her thought 3 and achemes for
the mutual welfare of the home. Sh©
likes to have hU opinion whenever con
slderahle expenditure of decided changes
are in contemplation. She does not
make up her mind quickly, but looks
at the question from all sides, and this
leads to her husband as being one side
of the compass. This couple are com
rades in the true sense. They consult
with the sole desire of arriving at tho
be3t possible decision. Consequently
they discuss rationally and conclude
wisely.. No friction arises meanwhile
and no one's dignity Is offended.
en. but at least nine-tenths of our guests
don't- they do theirs In the spare room.
Sometimes they have used an end of a
towel for a shoe rag.
Anybody can' get anything In my
house that they ask for: but part of ths
difficulty with the usual visitor seems
to be that he's afraid of disturbing
somebody. I wish they'd disturb the room
even more at times. We had a young
girl to speed a week with us In summer
time, and she took her afternoon nap
on top of the pillow shams. Instead of
disturbing them.
If I ever rtfurnlsh my best spare bed
room, I'm going v> have the .little couch
upholstered in leather so that wet um
brellas won't hurt it. and I'm thinking
of having metal window sills put on.
The washstand china la going to be tn>
best white enamelware I can buy, lr I
have to handpaint it to make it pre
sentable. I've only had one visitor who
seamed sorry when she broke t&a soap
dish, and she came to me with tears in
her eyes and said she ' didn't like to
visit the rich (though we weren't that,
by any means), that she always broke
their china soap dishes and she'd rather
"visit the poor and needy." She was a
nice girl and genuinely sorry.
I'm • going to have a bare floor, be
cause I'm tfred of inic on the carpet,
and If I can, I'll get an inkstand
with lead weights in the bottom.
All white curtains at spare room
windows ought -to be nailed tight
into their places so that the neatest
woman you ever knew; who Is a cur
tain expert. \ron"t tie them into knots
to let in more. air. ; . . .v -
And then I'm going to put a brass
fender • round the radiator .so that
every visitor who comes can't add
one more blister to the back of tha
rocking chair. • • . ". ;
Xow. -young man. you who "have ex
perienced' that lonescmne feeling in a
guestroom, do you begin to \u25a0• under
stand why almost everything' l»
cleared out before your arrival?