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ilie San i'rancisco Sunday Call. An American Gallery God in London Herbert Thompson Lonfion, November 1, THE truth Is. the British 'muilo hall Is suffering- from* an acute ana almost fatal attack of Coonr itls. It Is bad enough in London, but nothing compared with the pro vinces. One -would expect in Glasgow to find numbers of inglorious Harry Laud era. He finds none. Instead of encour aging native humor, the Scot reserves -r-ot only* his boot thunder but his voice for the coon acts. He Joins lustilty in the chorus of every song with the einger. • Ko vaudevllllan could pet away with such coon acts Jn San Francisco, and escape alive, as are heard here. If the dialect is plain Chicago, the hearer is lucky. There is only one thing worse than an Englishman Ringing a coon •ocg. and that is an American doing th* coster stunt A good example of this was heard in Glasgow where a girl sang an "out In the rain** ballad with a cockney pronun ciation and tit* manners of a fishwife. Injecting a laugh at stated Intervals that 6ounded like a mouthful of hot •ouj>. Such was her Idea of a negress having it out with her old man. It would Beem that these Islands get the very worst vaudevlllians from the •tates — the kind that try to make up in quickness of motion and loudness of vole* what they lack in wit Yet this 1* not the rule. Boms of the Orpheum's . best acts are features here. •"General" La Vine, "the man who has soldiered all his life," made an ln etant hit this week at the Palace, where Mat M. Wills, the hobo humorist, holds out. The general was on at the Or pheum not long ago. His clowning is as ingenious as his juggling. While the Palace audience is" quick to catch the absurdities of the general's act, It has to take Its time to laugh at Wills. English audiences have the name for lelr.g 6low to catch a Joke. A lot of American wit naturally misses fixe, be cause based on different Hying-condi tions or on things or customs unknown here, as for Instance the iceman. The iceman has quite as much to bear as the mother In law In the states, but one has only to make the rounds of the restaurants and saloons on this side to find the Iceman has no local counter part But this Is not the point. Wills began with some reference to ft previous act and turned to the sub ject of flying. "There is nothing safer," said Wills, "than going up in a Hying machine." "Going up!" he. repeated after a pause. Still no sign of mirth. "But it's another story, coming down.'' By that time the American in the au flience felt like going through the f.oor, but it waa the last explanation which, in the English mind, completed the Joke., Wills then devoted himself to de scribing the fat girl he was engaged to. But a puzzled look rested on the faces when he said his girl was so big that she was taller sitting down than standing up. When he told about the doctors consulting, as to whether to operate or "blahst" when his girl took down with appendicitis, comparatively few laughed, but they made up for the others in bolsterousness. As a concession to foreign ears, TT'ins, like most Americans here on the ftage, cuts out, to some extent, the flat "a." Herbert Lloyd is another American tramp to win a high place on the post ers here. Lloyd gives a travesty on various vaudeville acts, among other things some "Imitations." When he puts on a night cap and brings out one doll as the "queen of Holland," and returns with an armful of dolls as the "queen of Spain," the audience screams. The before the fire San Franciscan looks with peculiar- tenderness on the old Fischer and its stars. And every little while there comes the report' that some manager plans .to get the old bunch together again— Kolb, Dill, Bar- Bey Barnard and not least, Maud Am i»«r and Winfleld Blake. Maud. Amber and Blake Amber and Blake are somewhere on the bill at the Empire, only ho calls himself Winifred. Years- have been kind to Maud's beauty and have left WinSeld his old time youthful spirits. T«* -their act has marked time as the yeais have gone on.' It is the old grand opera travesty we used to hold our sides over — but.would we now? The Londoners don't. Win field wore a table cloth and a helmet on which a dustbrush stood as , a. plume. Maud was herself. Perhaps we have grown away, ;or have built dreams over the old Fisch er'g. Perhaps Amber and '; Blake , need ' the electricity of the old surroundings to galvanize them a little. | But as It is, we should do better. to [let memories lie undisturbed. One listens in vain for Pop Rosner's orchestra over here. There are larger < \u25a0 orchestras, perhaps. They are . well drilled and neglect nothing in the way of stage business. But they fall on the side of personality. Pop has helped many a dull act make good, as every Orpheumlte knows. • There are many larger halls than th« Orpheum in London, if one Is in terested In the mere matter of build ings, but none handsomer. One's comfort here is .certainly- not \u25a0neglected. There are wide spaces be tween seats, large lobbies and lounging rooms where the men retire to 'drink tea and eat, cake between acts if they don't care. for. the barroom. . Stock tickers tap off the results of races and important bits of news in some of .'the places. But the price of the Orpheum's best seat gives one only an obscure place In an upper gallery In London. Besides there is the program graft, for it costs from a penny to sixpence to learn what the bill is. ; ! There is one form of amusement.here that has.no analogy in San Francisco, and that is .the ballet • The finest ballet is at the Alhambra. preceded by the usual music hall acts. It Is more than a ballet, rather a pan tomime in dancing with original music and Uazzllngly. staged and costumed. The title-of the, present ballet is "Femina." . Its idea is allegorical and alms to show the power Vanity has exercised over woman in the various ages. The first scene Is in an Eden like garden, where the spirit of vanity finds Femlna asleep under a tree. To tempt her Vanity Invents fashion and makes Femina a costume of flowers and vines. Femlna succumbs to tne lure. The next scene is a cave of the stone age. The men are bushy and gro tesquely clothed in skins. Femina is their queen. She is about to give her self to the winner of the tournanwt when a young chief back from '"' & chase offers her . the furs he '.-\u25a0 \u25a0« brought. Thus she is again won lyi vanity. Vanity now leads Femlna astray in ancient Assyria. There are first gor geous oriental dances before the great idol in the temple, which have nothing to do with the story. Here vanity causes Femina to Influence the high priest to seize the jeweled collar from the Idol's neck. He does so; the temple collapses amid thunder and lightning and Femlna escapes with another lover, bearing away the' Jeweled collar. Spain Is the scene of the same story in a setting not unlike the Inn In Car men. The music for this was written by a Spaniard, and the dancers are Span ish. The exhibition of the Jota by the men was as fine as may be wished for, but none of the women were up to the standard of Estrelllta of cafe fame. The final act was magnificently mod ern, with an apotheesls in the web of vanity. Quite another style of ballet may be seen at the Empire. It Is also panto mimic Here the setting is the rehear sal room of the Paris opera during the fifties. There is the drill of the corps by a little-dancing master before on lookers and beaux costumed In the etyle of the period. The story Is the tryout and success of a new ikupil. 1^ is the ballet that makes London worth while In; a music hall way. Otherwise there is little of novelty to the American. "The Whip" Is Smart There is a play called "The Whip," beginning the second year of a. re markable run at the Drury Lane. It is the smart thing to " go to "The Whip" and the smart thing to. praise it for cleverness, to the disparagement of the Jones : and Wilde revivals of , Sir Charles Wlndham and George Alexan der. And • not only is /'The "Whip" re peating its remarkable success of last year, but it is doing big business with secondary* companies in the provinces. To one coming, to -London as to. the center of Anglo-Saxon art, the re markable thing about. "The; Whip" is not that It has run a. year,". but: that It ever ran -at all. It- makes the visiting westerner wonder .what; London call a poor play, especially as Hall Calne has revamped 'one of his old novels \u25a0 Into another: popular, success, "The Eternal ['• [Question." which ithe critics, for- lack ( - or stronger terms, damn as Caine's worst. ' \u25a0 .';.- : "The Whip" is r a racing'play on the lines of • "Old : Kentucky,'^ but. without the personality of "Oldj Kentucky." It is as English fas* the pother; is ; Ameri-; can. and, strange to say, {a much cruder piece, of work," for^the; charao- } ters are^ mere lay, figures of melodrama. There-is a hero who can't; see -through th© most transparent j plot; *a V heroine \u25a0 of a somewhat improved type, for she has no child and '-. bears her sorrows quit* philosophically; a - villain who ' utters his blackest thoughts in' solllo- ' auy,' cracks" his boots -with" his riding ' whip and speaks with a sjieer; a vil lalness of equal transparency and the usual pair of comic lover.*. The fine old precedent of the comic lovers foil ing the villains is carefully followed. As the scene is in aNseverely aristo cratic atmosphere, there is also a Yorkshire family for further comic re lief. The small .Yorkshire boy, who is in every one's" way. gives the comic lover a chance to get off the' phrase, "nawsty. kid," which always gets the audience inca : roar. ; Nor Is the story \u25a0 a.hy .the' less, stereotyped. ,' '. ~ . The "Whip" is t the ; horse which must, retrieve the hero's fortunes so that that; gentleman may-marry; the heroin^.; To keep -the Whip from '; winning is ; tha ' villain's i . object? and :;to ikeep -theVhero? from' marrying, Is the yillainess's. With thisjin' view .they -'flout 'a; forgotten scandal in a parson's face; and force the • parson ; not only to '•> forge a - false * cer- \u25a0 tiflcati /of '> marriage between the hero v and the woman,,- but "to uncouple : the -; horsebox from a' train so that the Wh lp, Its; passenger, will killed [.by the , on coming express. -i .This/train "scene is the_ play's mam. < thrill: Scenery is spun past on spools to produce the Illusion of speed, while stage hands In the rear chug chug with sandpaper and coco shells. The comic lovers arrive just as the unconpled horsebox emerges, from the tunnel and rescue the Whip and her keeper scarce ly a second before the train following crashes into the box and falls a can vas wreck. Of course the race in which -tha horses speed on treadmills is the final act The \u25a0 heroine i^pffera vtojrlJe^the -. .Whip, but ; . leaves ; the .honor*" to.- the ;; Jockey whosa sister has been ruined * the'viiiaihi ;'' ;., ; V \u25a0' '\u25a0"\u25a0.'.:-'" \u25a0 .'. : -'! .'\u25a0' : ~" . \u25a0":'. .'\u25a0\u25a0'.'\u25a0 ' It' would : not be ,' fair /;; tb'^derijr-' the ,' ; authors, "Cecil; and ;'' 'He'nry,-.-'! Hamilton, , credit for * their- self-repres- •; slon r -Infthe- last -act Th'e-^villain*-* be'- \u25a0'\u25a0' fore the race, produces^a revolver; and ,"' tell3 ; the vlllalness hejls ready' to '.blow;^ His, brains out , If: helioses; - The -code, ; : of "melodrama demands this •' beVdone !' on" the stage,, as well as the 'exposure Sem? ef TKs^ Will Do, Says Tk Stuff Would of the " vlllalness. But both acts of retribution are -left to the Imagination. The curtain falls Just as the 'reformed parson, who had confessed and re ceived reward "in forgiveness, promises to ofilclate at the wedding of the earl of ,Brancaster and Lady Antrobus. .. \u25a0._ - "iue Whip," of course, is only one out of two dozen' plays now on the boards. It is interesting merely, to show that London's 1 taste at Its worst is quite as bad as San ..Francisco's at «•\u25a0\u25a0 \u25a0 \u25a0 \u25a0/\u25a0\u25a0'\u25a0\u25a0-' ••\u25a0•\u25a0\u25a0;%\u25a0•• .'•- "'\u25a0*\u25a0•-\u25a0 i its ; .worst * Further, than . '• this -'-'The ;i\Vhip"- is ; : not worth a thought. Any, >one .can, buy ; tickets at '.the Driify's" box office , for . a ' day . or two ahead, , but not ; at His * Majesty's," where "Sir ' Herbert tßeerbohmt Beerbohm Tree has put^on "Henry. Vlll.". One must;go;to;a ticket broker .if he expects -any; seat; at all there -within "a. fortnight. . The' brokers here/ by the; way,' are" quite different from our speculator's. Their invariable charge is a shilling for .the best quax - ters: and;' a slxpence'for the poorer. Quite a controversy is ranging around Tree's version of Henry. Scholars com plain \u25a0\u25a0 that the \u25a0 magnificence 'of * th* ; set ting, distracts -from th*-text Tree" re plies that- it is better; to read Shake speare in. Ithel study than .to give him a half -hearted- production, especially in' a play which the author " himself, '; by his detailed . stage 'directions, • evidently meant as a realistic drama to be dressed as elegantly as the stage of that day af forded."" \u25a0 * \u25a0' - . -"..'\u25a0* - '• -•; "\ No stranger, comes to '> London with out paying pilgrimages to Hampton court;; the palace- which the ambitious begrudgingly turned, over • to Henry; 'Windsor, .Westminster and the tower. 'Holbein's wonderful study ;of : Henry,"' in all hia strength, cunning and factitious Joviality. 'may,, be- studied, in Windsor.- - ; Real Beard, N6t Real Red All of these old , scenes are.'repro duced.by. Tree in their original splen» dor.V. Every, detail of .'the, setting Is his torically correct. And. so careful is Arthur Bourchier . to give us Holbein's Henry, in' life, that , he is sald,to,haye grown a .beard and dyed it red for the play: . ;. He is Holbein, , and not . alone externally , he makes Henry's personal force jdomlnate ". the play^. but* by no means, to .the exclusion' of .Tree's pow erful ".Wolsey. ; '.. >\u25a0 ' \u25a0 . : Thls is. the" proof of, Tree's* Ideal.; The great pipe organ and boys' choir be hind^ ttie scenes, the smell of .'incense, magnificent costuming, trained dancers, supes who are drilled' actors, and the perfection of .the scene painter's" art. all Is transcended by the acting itselfL Buckingham's last speech. Catherine's noble words, the pathetic fall of "Wol sey, who lays away earthly ambition to enter at last into God's service, ar* things to haunt tha memory. The Interpolated final scene of Tree's production is a masterpiece of. effect, to which one may well think Shake speare would be the last to raise objec tions. It Is 'tha crowning of Anne Bo leyn with music pomp. We have seen Anne' ln the beamty of her youth usinj her arts of coquetry on Henry as he ap peared with his merry followers dis guised as shepherds during the revels in Wolsey's- court at Hampton. Later she has ' some misgiving lest ah* b« queen. In this final scene she kneels for the crown as If still more appro- kemive, whlla the amorous Henry le*r* out upon her from behind the pulpit In which he has concealed himself from the throng. Critics in London ar* lamenting th* dullness of the opening dramatlo sea •on, which has brought out nothing new of note. It is queer. In this regard, to find the dm© worn "Man From Mexico" the cen ter of "whirlwinds of laughter." This Ja only one of a number of American plays here. May Robson In "The Re juvenation of Aunt Mary" caught on Immediately. The critics style it an "oh, so simple" play, .but it Is rich on the human side, which Is more than max be said of many of its rivals. But It Is in London's music halls and not Its plays that a San Franciscan Is most Interested. So it Is that with \u25a0omewhat mingled feelings of disap pointment and pride ha finds ha has to go some to beat his own Orpheum. Neither Glasgow nor Liverpool. If tß*s« two largest of the provincial cities. are typical, is as well served In a muslo hall way as San Francisco. When It comes to London, it becomes hard to make a statement of any kind, for the performances are so mixed and so variable. .Ther* Is on* material difference, however,' which one notes at the start It Is taken quite as a matter of cours« •when the divine Sarah, th« youngrest Sf eat-jfrandmorther on earth, produces tha second act of "L'Aiglon" at the Col iseum, wihch she does with all her old fire. Harry Lauder'* name Just barely leads the rest at the Tlvoli. Cleo d« Merode, wi th her wendrous beauty, is 'quite a minor feature at the Hippo drome, In spite of the advertising her scandalous relations with the late King: Leopold have given her. Cleo, by the way, dances in a very tame and conventional style in comparison with Maud Allan's grace and original ity. But she is worth ,the price Just to look at Her hair, worn low, frames the most beautiful face on th* stage. Yet the gossip of tha Rlalto has it that this becoming fashion hides a pair of rudimentary ears, a blemish of birth. Harry \u25a0 Lauder has two new songs. One— ln . kilts — declares that every laddie loves a lassie because the lovs is there; , the other — In laborer's clothes — -deals with the Joy of sleeping \u25a0till noon on Sunday morning-. , Lauder is a senlus. Ordinary acts seem stale and jaded in comparison. .Yet he Is not in real life tha jovial character he is on the stage, if one may 'believe the things they say In Scotland. . , Serious - minded Scot 3 repudiate Lauder as one of a low type. The miners don/t like him because of his stinginess. His own; brother is still driving: a cart and Harry has never helped any of hia pals of * the old days. There ar« any number of other Instances one may hear, such as giving a call boy who had, run his legs off on private errands for a week an autograph instead of a tip, of rewarding a violinist of the or chestra with a shilling for ' lessons taken from him during tha enjigo- r Perhaps the best English • acta are taken to America. . Certainly there are few tleft behind, unless one excepts Mark ' Sheridan, who in. after all, aa Irishman. Sheridan has the figure of the late Ezra Kendall with a much larger head and the manner of a broken down tragedian. His wit is spontaneous * and real and often too quick for his hearers. Referring: to Hall Calne. Sheridan's ideal of the eternal question Is ."What will you hay* V