The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, April 30, 1911, Image 17

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The San Francisco call. [volume], April 30, 1911, Image 17
About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

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The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]), 30 April 1911. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress. <https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85066387/1911-04-30/ed-1/seq-17/>

Newspaper Page Text

OPHELIA
|UIZS
IJjESnONS
lost one busy tittle day in Che school where Pip Gmt-ia,
Watch the string and guess what's going to happen*
Prize Funny Stories.
Ten dollars a week is paid for these stories—ss for
the best, for the others a dollar or more. Checks
are mailed the Saturday following publication.
Use Post Cards. No manuscripts returned or
letters answered. Send the funniest stories you
know to '
COMIC WEEKLY EDITOR,
P. O. Box 1354, New York.
A tourist, while travelling through China accompanied iby a
Chinese valet, -was leaving hi 3 steamer lor a short trip on shore,
when he was suddenly interrupted by his valet exclaiming
"Lockee door, lockee door."
"Why should I lock my door? The Chinese would not rob
me, 1 would ; they?" ksked the tourist. ; .
.": "No, no; Chinese no rob. Lot missionaries on board; better
lockee door." \
george W. Whttp .. , *SS"IB"H|^HMHi
.-. • 1E ' Ao. 33T Thirtj-se»enth ttitti, Brooklyn, N. T.
,-• ■' ■'■'■- J:-'■:■' .-'': '-iv*:/.:*". '.*'-."' ' ■*\ "\ '' '-".'•.."■■. ■
- Her : hat -obscured, his L view at the theatre, and in a ■ kindly :
voice he leaned forward and asked her to remove it.
A ; stiffening of the head was her only answer. After a few
; minutes he repeated his request. .Then she turned on Mai.
"There is ;no demand for my doing so," she said. ';.;;.
"No demand?" he echoed. - ' y;[ i.
Them he rolled his overcoat and.placed it on his Beat, sat on
It. and, • getting his-hat from under his seat, placed it,on his
head. •;. ,\'?'.''' i. < ■ "'■."■ '■ r->i;- iif. i/- ■' '.r&i . .=;.■'
• <In a moment • there was a cry of "Take it off! X Take that
hat off!" f
, And .with a swift movement the lady unfastened her hat pini ;
,- and removed her hat. So did the man. r'
'." GEdkGE ELY RUSSELL. No. 8525 Pro»ptct .trett,' deTcUnd. O.
.• - ■ • ■ •*■:■■. ,- . ■■ : . •■'
hours were passing, and still the bore remained with her.
."Do you Hke music?'' she inquired, listlessly. " ■
_ . "Yes," he replied,, "I am always carried : away by music." ' •
She: flew to the piano ? and played several airs. Tien ;she.
turned and looked at him. ■ ■ '-* T •
"You are not gone yet?"
"No." he answered.
"But you'told me that music always carried you away." <% :!
"Yes," fhe retorted, "but I said: MUSIC."
MAGGIE C. OCALLAGHAX. Kiwwne, Charlerillt, County Cork, Irelaid. • *•'
>*J- '■-*'■ '.*':/f ..::-•■.■- ■ '■ -
; A little fellow had been taught to have no fear of anything
for God was always .with-- him. * .. ' • ",. %-\--:
. One night a terrific electric storm 'came up, he being upstairs,
while: his parents were below. « j ' . -*'. : •' >■;
'■'<• He "became; frightened when he ; found : himself alone and
called ■ down sto his mother v that he wanted to come down. His
mother answered him v, to have no .fear, for God was with. him.'
The "; storm became" 1 more violent, so ] the little ilad• called " hi
mother again, saying: \\ "Mamma, you ; come up ' here " with God
andletm^come down and stay with papa."
GEORGE E. CUETI3, No. 303 Idea! Bulldinf. Denier, Col. '<■
• • •
-■■■ A man went into a restaurant and ordered a portion of duck.
, After waiting an : hour .the man went up to the waiter and said:
.-' : "Look here; how long am I going to wait for that portion of
• duck I ordered?" ;, ;
"Till somebody orders the other half," said the waiter. "We
can't go out {an i \ kill; half : a duck." ;;;"",
, ,V : ;-• WILLIAM : ;li;HEXRy.;«2 Whiton street, Jeney City, N. J. ;
j -; .' ■.oC ; * . "■ ■ •, • '• ■« % , '..- ■ ■ '^\. .
An enterprising Yankee came ? over to England: and-, decided
:■ to open a shop in Liverpool. ■ He obtained g premises next door
to a man who also kept a shop of the same description, but was
not very pushing ■ in■« his • business t methods, preferring» to ' jog;
along in ' the same old conservative ' way. •. The I methods '; of - the
■ ■ Yankee, however, caused; the old i trader !; to wake j up, • and with :
the spirit of [originality : J strong upon him. he affixed a notice.
* over his door, with the words, "Established tSO years,",' painted
- in large \ letters. '|||L|M|UH I liililWHWMilte
Next day the Yankee replied to this with a notice over hit
store to the following effect:
"Established yesterday; .no dd stock."
, ■ J- H. HARRINGTON, 29 FurnMs itrett, LiTerpool, Enjlind.
YOU NEVER CAN TELL
By Dwiggins
j^^^^^pj THE: BEST'FLYING
fjjjßgSSgl AEROPLANE'
iir^ ■ ■■■' ■ THE. BLERIOT JR. ' .
jail. Just like the famous Bleriot that flew
918 across the I English Channel P and has'
{F|T taken the lead at late aviation meets. Very
• . light, yet strong. Best flyer of all the
junior models. Strong fabric stretched on frame
;of tough reed. I ] Flies 150 feet or more. No work
:] required —all ready to fly when received from us. |
It flies ; high and swift by its own power.
Every boy should own this actual flying moilel
of: this famous ) aeroplane. Just the model for
y experimenters. It will demonstrate the prin
ciples of flight. Send to-day 75 cents by money
order or registered mail ; and we • will sendj^ou
the aeroplane prepaid. k : .
THE UNITED COMPANY,
1004 World Building, New York City, N.X
BOYS'SCOUJ BASEBALL OUTFIT
**? ■■ . ,-_ «_-«.-_-. >^VbL TOT* EXACT SIZE
;-J& mCTTC PR I?F fattfl SHIRT, handsome Era,
—jglftOfcjifY;-' l/l/lll>/ ' 1 IVJuIU «'l«|^SjCS^ flannel, broad abouldera.
'• MfiSE&v\ssKn : ~: . ! • " /.■ - r»*3 '■?>■"»•-'■ll«^J*a»^ button' front.
- ( ffimPr^%^7 ■'' : Handsome, durable Scout ■ - ■** E^^J \Saels» ■ double sewed
■J«H«H^SP Sujts, ■• just • like' picture. i£*s?ffC> P A NT 8 , well
I^&US firm, .tvonf Kl*kl. S«ut K> Wk • ,^T r . W 7 d be'u XI
HfflrP •-. Suit •color. «- Suit consists f©Poyßsvl'■ knr~e - elastics. CAP.
iJ3B*sl: ■;. of Coat. Trousers. Leg- JW fitt Bn*Pl>y new 1911 leagua
jrinp ..d H.«. Coa, b« »»& Sk"'^
Ljfi BP .; bra" bottons. trousers axe WBtJ ,-yjjtg '■ uickei buckle. ALL OIVBN
'' '^Hi CSKf-k-.^falU length: leK'nes ltCe up; 2r*r HB i'KEE for selling 2*
:™r;!^'. bM: -id. sUtch,a brim. •■Br'.Ein-m-sst-!W Ls?aLifflii
■■ V• : iiS6?Sß£?y?2 fHl blu.nemfg.co.
piern of our gauds »l 10c. * M *« v }j^.-. ' SSI MILL ST..
■ t f|»3 -! each. Write . for " good*. W ■ 'naui' ***■*Concord Junot.. Mas*.
■ Bj^ When sold return $2.40 aflJ for «hitt front FRFE, if you return moots within
'it-AJvExSI ' ii» 'tend thi« full Pcout Sun. ten da-is. We trust you with the BLUINE.
ntSFir*^ TRIEND SOAP CO.. D«Dt. : —; '-1 : — ■
C' - - 238.- Boston, Mais. jfW^f ~ QpriOOf^ftPTirfc »»TTtr IPfflTi
—v ■—- . — Bo«^g»fs<>g66qotta<>ouo»y
r^^^™^-: ?a niti^, ! l2r^Ji ers *Seli e^foXlS*^ our Ctthartio Bern
liy^^V*LM§r^Iiy^^V*LM§r^ • £?• "'£? .^i -T[Sf My at 25 GTS. a box. It selk Uk» ho! Mkea.
fiSVidy IfiP^ TME PRBm'oO pment * «re ■ FBHE
}^|^Xi!nNaT3a^ M,Hd?n7coiu."' WESTEM REKEST CO.SM 1360 Wills St. Chicago ,lll.
«F«kJii a genuine American (Ids ■-.-•.. fJfSkj, ■4J STOU^'^iSTQEC
: Wfjive » gsnume. Amirican Mo»t- STEM ,<^SSfcw?Bf R "fftfißlElaiJ'T'S^^!!?
Witch.'Stem wind-and : MWi^^ %¥ MT|iM*?**& SpP
-•f E%BB£d Uctory tested. Ouar*n-1 . SET^^^"'" SELLING PbSTCAROS
3|ratMil 6 yfan. Also Chain and - Affi&4dB<JK fO W SCtLINQ POSTCARDS
BES4^^V^Va beautiful Sl"netßini -v Alt ;-:#&*KJtV#<%** »«i«..i t .(lm mi » btCm H,NT>.
S3Q easT^ruint Post Cards it tOc. a K^^S^Sjl Os" w "*. *■«!'» i«.J..»Mro«»i*
Br package. - When sold jead us the "ed» Jbs'.«™j««.w«»!»««.i»ii«.»- ». ,
■ >•—. .»v>^.'"J «2.(X) and u-f will send *S**^scflfJ'»«ui»tMi;7iJr»rt«i-i«fi>«».'-Sli-^ -
rau by rrturn mail Watsb. Ring and n „ «MGS!«riK«iti|tpon« .it __^S*i>«.
Cham absolutely FBEE for your trouhle.^^^^^B . • "^wjjgj&f'^' >M • !»«'«• Ord.r nMEp&
ttBCEMT mi Co>pt2lB, CWcap.Hl.^^ S^S-'SeS^W^STo^S!.
WAT6ii, gold wkjdenjc clng no[
■ v/Jw9mJv^M \?^• C?fS*fi~snA/rimk£Bl* *^IV..'ltLtt». bend for 12 pacfc^es of <w«
fIa>2SVJHT9\K\Vw . «nva ,-,,'5 .^ivnflßl^^. beautiful. hi»hfrade gold -•-
B»BSE)iiiSw*^»'^^'!^!" /A bowrt,Hw..rfi7od*««igi.
By Wrßivr;l|//made .u>m-win<i irsteb with ISSF-'*^a " '*-'■ il^- Return us the
Yi,lJ!m*f*fK!9'T SKo'^ta^S^.iriSa) lfc>,i 72SBJ will send you by return mill
vMHßff^Jsri.-X W^af this *cry fine UK gold -filled
J*""iSr.to*!r- *i*»J? iV'rfs heity band riog. not ih«
tnd wr will Mmd wstcn. r*nit 4cnain. r>h«an Win,-i i.i^mm ■ w

The San Francisco call. [volume], April 30, 1911, Image 17
About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

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The San Francisco call. [volume], April 30, 1911, Image 17
About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913