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ADVERTISEMENTS VOLUME CX.—NO. 53. THE CANDID FRIEND An Independent Review of Men and Things That Figure in the Contemporary Life of California I *"'"'. SHE painful and elaborate delibera t tions, connubiations, conferences and Eh B J political clinics- by which San Fran- J cisco has been edified and entertained J for several months chiefly serve as f testimony to the prevailing confu '. L . f .;-'■" ■•','*-.'■! "■ .' ■ -^^^- f sion of politics. There was a time ... . v _ jjli __ n r iili I not long gone when all that was done | I J for us, but now that we are asked to J - jdo it ourselves we don't quite Know J J how. One conferential and consc !'.'. - J quential body of public spirited and 1 ■.. . ■ ...... , & distinguished citizens has been spending months in the endeavor to select the best possible municipal ticket. But when they started en what locked like a simple task they soon dis covered they had not realized what they were up against. .-..'- - - ■■■--■ - They were immediately swamped with aspirants for office. Human limitations compelled them to put a bridle on the exuberant loquacity of -candidates and a hard and fast rule allowing each man 10 minutes to present his claims was adopted. It was a sort of competitive examination con ducted with a lick and a promise. Ten minutes is plenty for some men to tell all they know about how* a city of 400,000 people should be governed, but others might need more time. Then when all the fuss was over Chairman Sanborn of the republican county committee unkindly de clared that he could make a better ticket in 15 minutes. Jr was as easy and as ready as soft boiled eggs or scram- HUMBLED POUTICs' FUMBLED POLITICS These arc the blundering politics of a transitory period. We miss something and are groping for a substitute with many expedients, most of them as yet clumsy and lame. Life is full of compensations and we are hunting for ours in the fullest confidence that it will arrive. It is matter of popular observation on the streets, for example, that the ladies God bless themhave left off wearing petticoats, but as the money that way saved now goes for silk stockings it makes small difference, to the old man's pocket at the end of the month: In like fashion, the politicians have put off the tempestuous petticoat of the convention and are now eagerly flirting with silk stock ings. Everything is under the limelight. We are doing our politics in tights. STILL BALKY The new politics does not yet run smoothly. The machine is a little cranky and the motive power balky. But as soon as the thing begins to move without noise or appar ent friction we may look out. The people are now asked to do politics in mass meeting, and we are making some sort of bluff at it, but the whole thing irks. The fact is that we do not as a people want to bother about politics except as a diversion or a game rather more attractive than a horse race, but not quite equal to a prize fight. THE MACHINE GERM These conferences and political clinics are only the beginnings, the embryo of a machine. The politics of this nation has always been controlled by some such agency and probably always will, taking a general average of years. This control can only be exercised so long as the people are willing, but the experience has been that for long periods they have been willing. NOT STIFF NECKED The : domination exercised by the Southern Pacific in California politics was more complete, more overbearing, more corrupt and quite as well understood when James G. Maguirc ran for governor against Henry T. Gage as when Hiram Johnson ran against Theodore Bell. In fact, the issue in the former case was more clear cut because Gage was everywhere known to be the railroad candidate and yet he was elected by some 20,000 majority. In fact, rail road control of politics, lasted in California for full 40 years, unbridled and unchecked, with the full consent of a majority of the people.; It was not a question of conven tions or primaries. The issue was.clearly, unmistakably and repeatedly made at; the polls in a general election. The people simply did not care. ' • ' ASK FOR A SIGN A restless generation craves a sign. The political clinics seek to gratify this desire and supply such filling as they may for the aching void.; As yet it is a blundering sort of politics. When the amateur in his dilettante way is stacked up against the professional he gets confused because the two breeds arc; playing different games.; They are per suaded that all arc playing the, same game, but, in fact, they have not agreed about the rules. This was amus ingly illustrated when the amateurs [ were invited to have part in a serious discussion over the rival merits of Tom Finn and Fred Eggers 'as candidates for sheriff. The, amateurs did not know what to think and they simply held their noses; • ' *, OWES THEM A LIVING But Tom Finn and Fred Eggers, one and the other, firmly believe that San ■ Francisco owes them an office apiece. "The situation is further complicated and confused by the presence of the exoteric body "sometimes described as "Tom Finn's: reformers," who did such distinguished service [ during the session Jof the legislature. While the session lasted and the;pie was uncut they bore all the outward marks and visible signs of the true reformer. I/In THE San Francisco CALL SAX FRANCISCO; SUNDAY; JULY 23, 1911. Edward F. Cahill fact, they were careful to wear these insignia where every body could see them. By this exemplary policy they believed they had established "claims" for reward from Governor Johnson. You ought to hear them cuss him out now. But it was simply another case of men playing the game under different rules. It recalls "Alice in Wonder land": • "I don't know what you mean by glory." Alice said. "Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of • course you don't—till I tell you. I meant there's a nice knockdown argument for you!" "But glory doesn't mean a nice knockdown argu ment," Alice objected. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said In rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to'mean— more nor less." * "The question Is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." This is what comes of trying to make politics mean so many different things. REFORM AS AN INVESTMENT - "I met one of the sheriff's reformers *>the other day. "What's de good o' bein' good when you don't git nawthin'?" he ejaculated in disgust. "Dem bums dat runs de harbor commission has no sense of gratitude." This is the key. Politics works on the ball bearings of gratitude so far as it is a business. The professional poli tician considers himself entitled to as much pay for being honest as he might for being a grafter, and tßis condition being fulfilled, he is quite as ready to take one role as the other. The amateurs are different and seeking no personal advantage, their interest easily grows languid. => LOST LANDMARKS ','.*.., To add to the confusion of the situation we have de stroyed the ancient landmarks and guide posts of party in municipal: politics. Now, the fact is that > human nature loves a label and hates to be left to the unaided light of reason. In fact, a large proportion of ; mankind' would rather _ eat than reason, and can't spare the - time for both. They like to be supplied with some conspicuous rallying point, and the new municipal politics leaves them floun dering in an uncharted sea of undistinguished candidates. It used to be said that the incumbent of an office had 25 per cent advantage at the polls over his competitors, owing ,:: to the fact that he had become known, but under the ''new municipal practice of ignoring partisan nominations and affiliations of candidates I should say that the normal advantage of the incumbent is quite 50 per cent. HARD NAMES V \ Atone of; the meetings of the kindergarten section of the National Education association last week there was an astonishing as well as confusing differentiation of the name of the illustrious founder of this plan of education. The chairman insisted on talking about Frubble, as if the name might fit somewhere into William Shakespeare's great short poem: :.Bubble, bubble. Toll and trouble. But this was only one variation on this hard worked theme, and the gamut ran like this: Freebel, Frabel, Fro bel, Frubel, Frubble. . But really it is an unequal contest between the American tongue and the German diphthong. The memory of a great benefactor of the human race suffers for no sin of his own. A SPASM OF VIRTUE -The Grass Valley Union inquires: Wolgast fought Moran on the fourth of July tor the middleweight championship in San Francisco and is to right Welsh in Los Angeles for the same prize ""■ Thanksgiving. day. But the Jeffries-Johnson fight .was barred a year ago In this state. Why is it there is a lack of agitation and action against the Wolgast fights which were.taken In, the bigger contest? 'I presume the answer might be .-that last year we were undergoing one of our periodical spasms of virtue. They are comforting while they last, but they don't last. Now; as to; the Wolgast accomplishment in the way of twisting the British lion's tail on the national holiday the Chicago Tribune has this: '"'' * ',- - It was regarded as very appropriate that this affair should have*: had such an outcome*on the day we celebrate. Sentimental prize ring followers and emo tional sporting gentry believe that :It demonstrates there was real class in the performances of our*fore- t } fathers in revolutionary endeavors, and that we were then, as we are now, a great nation. " That such reflections do not give us all the patri i otic thrills to which we plainly are entitled Is proba .:..* bly our own'fault. ; '"•'.* \\ * As to the home view of the patriotic ardor of the occa : sion 1 offer this paragraph from a local paper: Ad Wolgast turned to his corner, more . firmly planted than ever before on the lightweight throne, .a grin flashed across his bleeding lips and he plucked I with his ; gloved hands at the American flag he wore about his.; waist. :In a second he was smothered in the, throng of admirers who surged into■ the ring, • :' untied the battle scarred flag and waved-It-over Wolgast's tousled head. . : . . " • "* It does hot seem impertinent to remark that the national flag might-be left out of these occasions. - JEFF AS GROUCHY AS EVER T , ' -■."•' •■' ' V'V . • '•- r„ ■' ~. These prizefighters .are a queer folk. The other-day^a SMBrasai*-:;:.-. - - .■ ■ w reporter caught Jim Jeffries in Los Angeles and asked him if it were true that Jack Johnson had snubbed him in a London restaurant where these great antagonists were both present to assist at the coronation of King George. Jeffries flouted the tale and said it was all the other way, like this: . ' "You ought to have been at Romanos" In London the night we saw the 'Big Smoke' (Johnson)," said Jeff to his acolytes. *, ',".." "The ,'Smoke' came in with all his gold teeth shin in" and glimmerin' in the candle; light. 'All niggers are white to them Englishmen, and right away we heard 'em say on air sides: 'There's Jack. Bully old boy!', , ' ...JVv*. '. V'J; '■■'. ■"■.-> •■ ■ > - "He either saw, us or was told that' I was present, and soon he walked toward the table where Walter Kelly, the Virginia judge, and myself and a couple oft friends were.. I was standing up at the time, and as he looked my way I had the pleasure of turning my American back upon him. '.. "The 'Smoke' knew what' that meant He did not linger one little moment. 'That was the only time that I saw him while abroad.'' In fact, Johnson was an important part of the coronation festivities. One of the London illustrated papers ran a picture of his famous skull more than five inches thick as shown under the X-ray and - explained that an ironclad head was the bruiser's best asset As for Jeffries, nobody seemed to know he was in London. . It was one of the tragedies of fame. - A JOB FOR OTIS A little bit of politics leaks out from Washington. The other day we were surprised to see in the dispatches that Senator Heyburn of Idaho*; had -introduced a bill for. the appointment of a national commission for the Panama- Pacific exposition. We did not. quite understand -why Heyburn should butt into a purely California affair and no explanation was given. It is now related that Heyburn's purpose was to get Harrison Gray Otis of the Los Angeles Times appointed commissioner under his bill at a salary of $7,500 a year and that he had a promise that the appoint ment would be made if the appropriation got; through;: But Uncle George Perkins and John D. Works shooed Heyburnoff the grass. 'Heyburn will bear watching. - TEARS AND PROFANITY Editor Devlin of the Santa Cruz News grows dithyraro bic to the point of tears mingled with profanity on; the • subject of the exemption of domestic servants from the women's. eight hour law. It is like this: * Lords and gentlemen, what of them? Are they without the pale of, your sympathies? When you I would legislate In favor of the weaker sex, why not legislate for the servant girls? ; The News believes In no half way reforms. It be lieves in hewing the line, let the chips fall where they may. It refuses to see why a householder., can employ a servant girl 19 hours or more, or a cannery can keep a woman at work peeling fruit 10 hours or more, while a telephone office or a dry goods store can not employ a girl more than eight hours. They say the fruit Industry of California, which Is one of our'great assets, would suffer were the eight hour law,enforced as to the girl operatives. But our girls are a bigger asset yet. When the health and moral welfare of the girlsthe future mothers of • this - state— at stake, we say to hell with the fruit Industry of California . ■ *•_■'.- - ■ ■ ■ The reasoning is impregnable if the language is excited. Yet Brother Devlin's contribution to the servant problem appears.in quality something strained. How many servants ,does Brother Devlin employ? I; have none, for the appar ently sufficient reason that the young ladies who now condescend to this important ; domestic function want to run the whole house" and usually succeed under pain of dismissing their employers. The old relation of master and servant has been reversed. The young person in the kitchen is boss. AN ICED HEROINE V A man who was in Yosemite last week believed he had -seen a stage holdup. . That is to say.he believed" it ufttil he saw . that the buckskin fringed robber had his face painted. Then he began to realize that it was nothing more exciting than a moving picture company working off stage effects in front of the deadly camera's mouth. One of the films was made to show the thrilling rescue of a fair but well painted young damsel from drowning in the Mer ced river. As every film must be duplicated, it was neces sary to immerse the young lady twice in the icy waters of Merced, fresh from the snojvbanks. She was a. chilly heroine when the adventure was concluded and the curtain ■'rung down.; ..'. ■. ■. ■ ■ - ■ DREADFUL TRADE -r ; V~ Looking out of the window the other day I, saw across the way three painters standing on a narrow board slung from the cornice of the Hearst building about a hundred ; feet above the ground. They had no vestige of guard rail or protection and the board ; seemed to flutter in the stiff trade wind. It is about the windiest corner in San Fran cisco. Yet the men appeared to be wholly indifferent to their,situation and moved about as freely as if they were on the ground. It recalled Shakespeare's / Half: way down hangs one who gathers samphire. -■ ."j Dreadful trade! "; ,' . ■ < . " .It, gave me the creeps. It seemed to me as if a man in : that position could, not free himself from the impression that the wall was pushing him out into space. * PUT HIM IN BRASS BUTTONS ' : - An important official of the. Pacific. Surety company was under contract to serve for five years at a salary of $7,500 a year. But" the . directors of .the company, for one reason CLASSIFIED * ADVERTISEMENTS ;": PAGES 45 TO 52. -■-■»■- , : ■ , • , _. . - - - .■- * - — ■-. or another, came to believe that the office was superfluous and should be eliminated. So ordered. But the incumbent, who saw himself legislated; out. of office, objected. "That is all right, gentlemen," he suggested. "You have* power to abolish my office, but under your contract you are compelled to pay me $7,500 a year for five years." "That is very true,", replied the proponent of the measure. "We arc bound to pay the salary, but we can at the same time prescribe the duties, and I suggest that we provide the gentleman. with a neat uniform and brass buttons, with a gold braided cap marked in plain letters, 'Messenger Pacific Surety Company.'" The dispute was compromised. DON'T SCOLD The San Bernardino Sun says a sober word to those southern California newspapers' which take their diversion in scolding San Francisco, and it is this: Nowto; the future. ' The tax was voted, the expo- ■.-.. sition Is going to be held, . and : some journals In southern California are. not going to change the habit of the San Franciscan. Forget it. SOME EXPENSIVE HAIRPINS ' .. ' The Stockton Mail tells a wicked story about the way the state board of control wrestled in spirit with a con tract to buy hairpins for patients in th© insane asylum. The Stockton hospital board had approved a contract for several gross of hairpins, and the Mail proceeds' to tell what happened: ; ■ Now, to be sure, none of the gentlemen on the board had ever worn hairpins, and none of • them > : ■"_ knew any : more about them than a hod .carrier -^,knows about; syntax, but there.arose a vision In.the minds of members of the board that insane ladies always 'were, their hair'down their backs," so what, : in thunder did they want with hairpins?: Here was "a chance to save the tax payers of the great state of • California upward of nlne(J9), dollars. The board of control hurriedly laid aside all other . business and dug Into that hairpin contract for fair. - An Investigation developed the fact that a number xof the women at the Stockton state; hospital had so ■ - far advanced past the gibbering Idiot; and maniac ■ -stage,*, due to the able medical and managerial skill of Superintendent Clark and his staff, that they were actually wearing hairpins, 'just like—well, just like the feminine relatives of the board of control. , 'Of course. If hairpins were an actual necessity, the hairpins would have to stay on the supply list. Then the question of cutting down the supply came up, but this was hastily sidetracked when It was discov ered by one of the eagle eyed economists that the Stockton managers had recommended contracting for . crimped hairpins, while j another bidder had offered the straight hairpins for less money. Some rapid figuring developed that the state could save nearly a dollar and a quarter a year by the change, so the change was promptly made, the state board of con trol taking the crimp out of the hairpins and putting . a crimp in the recommendations of the board of man agers of the Stockton state hospital, where* there Is still roonj for a few patients, if the state board mem bers feel ; like givingr themselves up. The Mail insists that as the wages of the board of con trol for one day amount to $20 and the saving on hairpins was $1.25, the transaction does not show a profit for the state, but that is the sordid way of looking at it. It is the principle of the thing. . * ARBITRARY EXERCISE OF POWER I find among the "ordinances of the San Francisco park commission now in course of publication this section: Section;?. No person or .persons shall hold any B public meeting of any kind or nature, nor hold any public discussion or debate, where five or more per sons are gathered together for. that purpose, in or upon -any; of . said ; public parks, squares, pleasure - grounds, or the Great highway, without first obtain ing the consent of the park commissioners thereto. It is. a bad rule and an unreasonable exercise of arbi trary power. There may be some reason for restricting the right of public speaking on the streets where it ob structs trade, but there is none that applies to the parks. In fact, the parks are an entirely fit and _ proper place for public meetings and this ordinance is^an: example of \im pudent official meddling with popular rights. The British practice is' quite the reverse. Any man may hold a public meeting in Hyde park in the heart of fash ionable London, and if he can get anybody to listen he can cuss the king and all the royal family, damn the house of lords and take the Money Devil by the throat and shake the foul fiend as a terrier does a rat. Nobody minds. American institutions^ from being the most free in the world, are running to the other extreme as a result of the growth of bureaucracy. Every petty bureau or commis sion, stuffed with a sense of its own importance, enacts an elaborate code of laws without by your leave or with your leave, and if you don't like it your only recourse is* an expensive lawsuit. If you dare protest on the spot the answer is made with a policeman's club. "CREATING" A NOISE , I find in the same code an- enactment that "no automo bile, the machinery of which shall create any loud noise, .shall be allowed in the Golden Gate park!" The idea that inspired this clumsy example of official English was good, but the man who wrote it was ignorant of the first prin ciples of vconstruction. We know that a noisy noise annoys an oyster, but how noisy must a noise be to annoy a ; park commissioner or a sparrow cop? Why not : tell 'i the foghorn to stop "creating" a noise.' As a matter of fact, a startling and noisy warning from automobiles is a necessary condition for the safety of pedestrians.. ' : -:V, ' "