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The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, September 19, 1912, Image 6

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Let Us Set Our House in
Order Before Guests Arrive!
THE city administration would do a great public service if it
took firmly in hand the billboard nuisance. A committee from
the Outdoor Art league presented this matter forcibly to the
public welfare committee of the board of supervisors on Tuesday.
The billboard men were on hand, naturally, to controvert the argu
ments of Mrs. Marsh and Mrs. Renz. But their representative had
little to say that could weigh with the supervisors.
Supervisor Payot pointed to the decisions of the courts which
recognize the right to advertise by means of billboards and declared
that these decisions made it impossible to abolish the business
entirely. That is true enough, but there is nothing in these decisions
to restrain the exercise of the police power of the city, through which
the business may be restricted and the nuisance abated.
The decision upon which the billboard men chiefly rely in this
state is that in the case of City of San Jose vs. Varney & Green, in
which the court held the regulatory ordinance invalid. But it should
not escape attention that in this very decision the court, by way of
obiter dictum, pointed to a method by which this ordinance might
have been made valid. The court says:
* "Bearing in mind that the ordinance does not purport to have
any relation to the protection of passersby from unsafe structures,
to the diminution of hazard by fire," etc.
Now, it is well known that our own great fire was helped to
spread with accelerated rapidity by the billboards. And the supreme
court plainly indicates that an ordinance reciting this danger as a
reason for its enactment would be held valid.
We think it quite possible for the supervisors to do away with
the huge billboards which disfigure so many streets and which make
a San Franciscan almost ashamed to show a visitor from Detroit or
some equally beautiful modern city around our own town.
Drastic restrictions as to size, character and districts might be
so written into the ordinances as to conform to the court decisions,
we feel certain. And there ts always at hand the "big stick" in the
shape of high license fees. The supervisors can find a way to put
an end to the billboard nuisance if they set about the hunt earnestly.
Xo one objects to reasonable outdoor advertising. There are
limits, however, which good taste recognizes,* but which greed will
not. And when greed refuses to stop short of disfiguring the city
and incidentally injuring the values of property, the public welfare
powers., of the municipality and the common consent of citizens
should alike be addressed to earnest and effective efforts to make
greed behave itself decently.
„ The billboards are an abomination and a nuisance. Like every
other nuisance, they should be abolished here before the great tide
of guests begins to flow in from all the world.
THE indecencies seem to keep steady company with Francis J.
Heney and Meyer Lissner.
Tuesday night John M. Harlan spoke in Los Angeles in !
behalf of President Taft. Mr. Roosevelt had spoken the night before
in his own behalf. He had not been interrupted and had been given
courteous attention by the thousands of republicans and democrats |
who were in the audience. The ordinary decencies were observed!
by his political opponents.
Xow see the contrast. When Mr. Harlan began his argument I
he was interrupted by booing, hisses, yells and clamor, led by Heney \
and Lissner. The discourtesy was planned in advance and had notj
even the thin excuse of sudden excitement.
It is a poor cause which can not bear discussion. It is a rude
fellow who interrupts a public speaker with blackguardism. And
he is a poor sort of American who is not willing to accord the right
of free opinion and free speech to another whose political views arc
Mr. Heney and Mr. Lissner were not obliged to hear Mr. Harlan
speak. They should have stayed away if they could not behave as
gentlemen while listening to a discussion and criticism of their
party's creed and actions. Instead they chose to play the part of
bullies and blackguards. It must be admitted that they are both
letter perfect in that role.
Mr. Lissner seems to have*been peculiarly enraged by a refer
ence to his early occupation. He had no occasion to be. Pawn
broking is no crime. A man may be a pawnbroker and be a very
good citizen and an honest and useful person. It all depends upon
how he conducts his business. Mr. Lissner has no need to be
ashamed of having been a pawnbroker. He has much more reason
to be ashamed of his later political trickery—of keeping an official
position, for instance, under false pretenses, and of conspiring to
steal the republican party's column on the ballot-—a base and dis
honest action indeed.
Mr. Heney aided Mr. Lissner in his rude and blackguardly
attempt to hinder free speech without Mr. Lissner's flimsy excuse.
Mr. Heney is a notoriously abusive, truculent and unreasonable
political speaker. Of all the bull moose he blackguards the best.
And his notion of the square deal and fair play and American manli
ness seems to be to call all his political opponents opprobrious names
and then to head a gang to drown the voice of anybody who attempts
to reply to his vicious and ruffianly billingsgate.
. They are welcome to the use of such weapons, are Heney and
Lissner. The instinct of fair play and good sportsmanship is' very
strong in the American character. The tactics of the bully and the
blackguard do not win anything from our people.
It is quite likely that Lissner and Heney made more votes for
both Taft and Wilson Tuesday night than any dozen speakers,
democratic and republican, could possibly have made.
THERE is a little lesson in the holdup affair at Easton station
which resulted in the shooting of Attorney Kirkbride. The rob
bery and the shooting took place in a well settled neighborhood.
The robber took his time and there was plenty of opportunity to
see just what he did. There were present a number of men and
women, among them business men, soldiers, lawyers and four
employes of the transportation company. None of these persons,
of course, has any reason to give other than a truthful narrative of
what happened. And yet their stories are different, contradictory
and incoherent. i
Xow, you may be able to guess why it is that newspaper reporters
io not always write identical reports of the same happening. It is
impossible, because newspaper reporters are human, having the same
eyes, ears and infirmities as the rest of us.
The next time you are tempted to repeat the common remark
that newspapers never get anything straight, remember this incident,
won't you? Maybe you will .then throw this unreasonable and not
at all warranted criticism into the discard.
Only a Bull Mouse Party After All
DELEGATE PAT RILEY is a humorist who may be destined
to renown. Mr. Riley appeared in the republican county con
vention Tuesday night as a Taft delegate from the thirtieth
district. But some oue had blundered. Mr. Riley is a moose. So
he made haste to explain his calling and election, as well as the
articles of his faith.
"I put up $60 to help elect Governor Johnson," said Mr. Riley,
"and I have since received some favors from him. I would be an
ingrate if I supported Taft now."
Mr. Riley is more fortunate than some of his brethren. He is
not only a bull moose, but he knows why. Gratitude bums with
steady flames in his ardent breast. "Gratitude," says a celebrated
wit, "is a lively expectation of favors to come." Mr. Riley's excur
sions into the fields of literature may not be frequent nor long pur
sued. But he needs no such journeys. He is a philosopher to the
manner born.
Mr. Riley has $60 invested in the cause of pure politics and has
received satisfactory dividends from the headquarters of righteous
ness. He proposes to remain unalterably pure himself. Mr. Riley's
political creed does not differ essentially from that of Mr. Johnson
or Mr. Lissner or Mr. Dwyer or Mr. McCabe. He is simply more
endearingly frank in his exposition of the humanities and moralities.
; One rather likes Mr. Riley. His refreshing candor, in the midst of
!so much cant and humbug, sticks out like a sore thumb.
THE city awaits with interest the outcome of the battle between
the mayor and supervisors and 'the insurance men. So far the
mayor has had the better of the argument, and the underwriters
! must bring something weightier in the way of reply than their state
| ment made in the local newspapers the other day, if they wish to
: convince the public that they are acting fairly and in good faith.
There has been no convincing reason advanced by them so far
j why San Francisco folks should pay higher insurance rates than the
j people of other cities winch have no better fire protection.
MRS. OTTO WEIL, returning from Europe to enlighten domes
tic ignorance, declares that French women have so much more
grace, shapeliness and pulchritude of all sorts and conditions
| than have American women because the French women eat less,
j drink less, sleep more and never gossip. So she advises American
: women to mend their habits.
The only fault to be found with Mrs. Weil's conclusions is that
I the premises are as wobbly as a bull moose platform and as cross
! eyed as Mr. Roosevelt's views.
The American women are the shapeliest, gracefuiest, prettiest,
cleverest and most charming women in the world. They dress
better, talk better, look better and are better than anybody. We
know the work of creation has ceased, because when the American
woman arrived there was no improvement left to be made.
The French woman has vivacity and charm, the Spanish woman
j superlative grace/the German woman all the qualifications of wife
! and mother, the Austrian woman wit and beauty, the Italian w©«ian
! a merry heart and a distracting eye, the English woman a voice to
; delight and a complexion of roses and cream. The American woman
I has all these charms and then some.
| The only thing in the whole round world better than an Ameri
i can woman is two of her.
THERE is a state of undeclared war between the human foghorn
who bawls the ball game announcements in Market street and
the Candid Friend, whom you all love. The ring streaked and
striped noise on horseback never fails to undergo a double eruption
of his diabolical bellow whe*n he reaches the spot above which the
Candid Friend meditates, by his window, that delightful Sunday
page of wit and sense. And I regret to say that the remarks of the
Friend, while indisputably candid, are not printable, owing to the
mechanical difficulty of printing from red hot type.
So far the megaphone has demonstrated that it is mightier than
the pen, but God's still in his heavens, and revenge has lost'none of
j its saccharine peculiarities. That perambulating imitation of Mount
I Katmai in anguish would not sleep well if he knew what was darl^y
S meditated for him in two rankling bosoms.
" "
THE Santa Barbara Independent thus whooped it up m advance
of the colonel: *
„ Santa Barbara is decidedly progressive, and it is unnecessary for
Colonel Roosevelt to come here to get votes, but he is stopping here
on his way, and the city will honor itself by extendine him a royal
greeting. •
A "royal" greeting! God save the king! When will it please
youY majesty to expose the glories of your regal person again to the
eyes of your majesty's loyal and obedient subjects in Santa Barbara?
Author of "At Good Old SI~--_rfi~
STEAMSHIPS were invented about a
century ago, but did not become
virulent until hotel keepers began
building them quite recently.
Robert Fulton built the first steam
boat by inserting an engine into the
thorax of a large barge. With this
boat he made several miles an hour
and travelgd from New York to Albany
,In a day, causing many people to de
mand his arrest for exceeding the
speed limit.
In 1819 the first steamship crossed
the orean. It was a small boat called
the Savannah and had none of the
modern conveniences, carrying life
boats instead. Its trip was successful,
and soon afterward steamships began
to grow in length with the rapidity
of cucumber plants, until they are now
so long and wide that unless a seasick
passenger gets a good sprinting start
he can't reach the rail by 15 feet.
Steamships are now built with steel
reinforced with precious woods and
rich upholstery. They have engines
strong enough to yank the pyramids
j out by the roots, funnels wide enough
jto use as railway tunnels, and anchors
•so big that when a couple of them
j are dumped overboard, the next tide
! rises six Inches higher.
j Steamships now run at the rate of
j3O miles an hour day and night and
j cross the ocean in less than five days,
stopping only when Providence inter
feres. # It is a thrilling experience to
stand on the eleventh story of a mod
ern skyscraper steamship which is
traveling at the rate o*f half a mile
a minute through a fog and to realize
that if an iceberg should be so reck
less as to get in the way it would
get a dent which it would carry for
Steamships are equipped with passen
ger elevators, al fresco cafes, sun
parlors, swimming pools, palm gar-
(Copyright, 1012. by George Mattbew Adamsl
7. B. HOLMAK, president of tbe Mercantile
Reference and Bond association of Boston, ac
companied by Mrs. Holman, after a tour lt-t
--ing nearly a month through the Yoaemlte val
ley, arrived In San Franclaco yesterday after,
noon and registered at the Palace.
"• 4t "•
WILLIAM HARDEIX, a capitalist of Toledo.
Ohio, is a guest at the Palace- Other arrival*
at the Palace yesterday were CM. Croat, W.
H. Falconburg and Burton .Boyle, prominent oil
operators of Merced and Coalinga counties.
* * *
navy, accompanied by J. E- Taylor, arrived
here yesterday from London, and are guests at
tbe St. Francis. Commander Payne said his
visit bere was purely a sightseeing trip.
* # #
G. W. DOHRMANN. an insurance man of Stock
ton, is at tbe Union Square. Among other ar
rivals at the Union Square yesterday were
Dr. and Mrs. W. A. Phillips of Santa Crux.
* # ♦
H. C. FLOTTRNOY, a banker of Quinry, D.
Brosbahan of Vallejo, A. C Blokle of Mon
terey and C. C. Logan of Reno, Nev., were
among yesterday's arrivals at the Argonaut.
M... m*.' '■ m\
R. Z. LOUGH and wife of New York and 8. M,
Mears, a business man of Portland, were
among the arrivals at the V'airmont yesterday.
* * #
RALPH D. GOODWIN, assistant to Mr. McCoy,
secretary ef tbe Y. M. C. A. 6f South Bend,
Ind., and family, are stopping at tbe Court.
* # *
ZEB KENDALL and family of Tonopah, Nev.,
arrived at tbe St. Francis yesterday. Kendall
Is a real estate operator tnd mining promoter.
* # _*
HOYT 8. GALE of the ITbited States Geological
survey arrived from Washington. P. C. yes
terday and registered at the Stewart.
RT. REV. MGR. P. L USHER of Santa Crua
arrived yesterday for a short visit and it a
guest at tbe Stewart.
* ** *
PRANK SMITH, a prominent mining man of
Hayburg, it stopping at tbe Stanford. *
* * *
MRS. J. C. ROBERTSON of Tonopah. Nev., La
among the arrivals at the Arlington.
* # *
ROBERT H. NOBLE from tbe Presidio of Mon
terey Is a {guest at the Sutter.
The Dinner Horn
%y fHSN I was young and full of vim
I labored in my father's field, and
i I have heard it said by him that
: none a hoe could better wield; beneath
jmy care the pumpkins thrived, tall
grew the turnips and the corn; and
! when the noon hour had arrived, my
father blew the dinner horn. Talk of
the music of the spheres and all the
sounds Inspiring men! They would
have jarred upon my ears, had they
come floating to me then! I've heard
great singers caracole through notes of
joy and notes of scorn, but nothing
ever stirred my soul like father's old
tin dinner hdrn. I've heard the noble
organ peal, and thought It heavenly and
grand; I've heard march, waltz, Vlr
glnny reel, performed by Sousa's bully
band; I've heard the great Caruso trot
: out song- sublime as e'er were born,
but nothing ever hit the spot like
father's old tin dinner horn. A crank
on music, I have sailed, all o'er the
world, to hear the be_t; tbe masters
of all lands have failed to give my
yearning spirit rest. When on their
instruments they pound or beat or blow,
. my soul forlorn but reaches back to
hear the sound of father's old tin din-
I ncr horn.
_,e-prrt-_». _M 2, my
jfcwn wSmm trnmrn
Letters From the People
j Editor The Call: With reference to
. i your comments on the "Washburne free
j love contract" at Pasadena in your
'issue of September 17, I beg to state
I that I ceased to be a member of the
faculty of Stanford university on Sep
j tember 13, on .which date my resigna
tion was kindly accepted by the pres
ident. HAR DAYAL..
! Palo Alto. September 17.
Holding It Over Him
"I shouldn't care to be the wife of a
man who never smoked."
"Well, it is comfortable to see one's
husband sitting down after dinner to
enjoy his cigar, and then there is some
thing rather soothing about the aroma
of a good cigar, too"
"Oh, I don't care anything about the
comfort of It or the aroma; but as long
as my husband smokes, it will always
be so easy to tell him how to begin
when he Insists that we have got to
economize." —Judge.
"Formerly every passenger bought a
seat in a lifeboat"
dens, gymnasiums, vegetable gardens,
vaudeville theaters, pipe organs, squash
courts, fire escapes, Turkish baths and
neat maps in waterproof cloth, by
means of which the passenger can
plunge fearlessly into the sea and swim
to New*Tork or Liverpool without dan
ger of turning the wrong corner.
Formerly every passenger bought
a seat in a lifeboat with his passage,
but now steamships are like streetcars
and the men have to give up their
seats to the women. This has made the
steamship one of the most effective
means of reducing the leisure Mlass and
enables the ocean traveler to become
a hero in history and also in a watery
grave for the modest sum of "$125 plus
a dollar for a deck cflair and $37.50
in tips.
Steamship travel is greatly enjoyed,
and Is dreaded by many on account of
the tipping, both of the vessel and of
the ship's crew. Ships are now being
constructed with anti-tipping tanks,
but this refers only to the vessel. The
crew will continue to be tipped as
usual, only more so.
MISS CLARA T. HOOVER, past president of the
Daughters of tbe Veterans of tbe Civil wsr, is
at tbe Tnrpin. She arrived yesterday from Lot
-Angeles, where she went to attend the National
encampment o£ tbe Grand Army of tbe Re
* * *
FRANCIS HOPKINS, a capitalist of Stockton.
R. L. Peeler, an oil operator of Coalinga, and
W. P. Black, who owoa oqe of tbe largest
vineyards In toe state at Auburn, were among
yesterday _ arrivals at the Manx.
* * *
CHARLES D. BLANEY, a member of tbe state
highway commission, arrived at the Fairmont
yesterday from Saratoga, Cal., where be has a
large fruit ranch in the foothills. He waa ac
companied by Mrs. Blaaey.
* ¥■ *
R. P. TISDALE of Philadelphia, F. W. Woods,
a real estate dealer of Merced, and Dr. H.
E. Saunders of Calgary were among yester
day's arrivals at the Belle tup.
* # #
PRANK BURKE and family are registered *t
the St, Francis from Denver, Col. Among tbe
other arrivals yesterday at the St. Francis was
George B. Haines of Chicago.
* * #
W, E. PRUETT and A. R. Harlock, Hanford
ranchers, are among the recent arrivals at
the Dale.
* * #
CAPTAIN B. H. PAGE, in tbe customs service
at Manila, is registered from San Diego at tbe
"■ * #
MRS. W. M. MoNABE and Miss Johanna Reiehel
oi Ctncinnatt, Ohio, are staying at tho Bald
* :.(|'- #
ARTHUR E. MILLER, an attorney of Sacra
mento, aad wife, are registered at the Sutter.
w 1 "• #
DR.' D. H. PETTINGJXL of Golconda, Nev is
stopping at tlie Stewart. '
* # #
JUDGE E. E. HOWARD of Corning l s registered
at tbe St. James.
* # *
C. E. OOODALE, a stockman of Lemon Cove is
at the Stanford,
* * *
L. J. MoGRAW of San Jose is staying at the
* # *
DAN MORRIS of Saa Ditto la at the ■_„*.•.
isEPTEIVIBER 19, 1912
Fery Tales
rALK about
the light
that beats
upon a throne, j
Compared with
David Starr Jor
dan, president of
Stanford univer- -___-——
slty, even well advertised kings like
William of Germany, J. Pierpont Mor
gan and Ban Johnson are living In com
parative obscurity.
Of course, when William gives an
other twist to the British llon"s tall
when King Pierp saves the country, or
when the baseball king gets his back
up, the whole world knows all about 1
sooner or later; but that Is not so mucl
on account of the limelight as because
of the noise. The world does not dis
cuss the slip of the wrist that caused
the kaiser to cut his chin while shay
ing: J. P. M.'s movements are so little
watched that ft took the world several
days to find Out that he was not on
board the Titanic; and Ban Johnson
does many things that never get into
The real test of greatness lies In the
effect produced on the current of con
temporary conversation by acts that in
the ungreat pass unnoticed. Havins
thus laid the foundation and adjusted
the scenery, let us return to the Palo
Aito peace propagandist. As proof of
the light that illumines his goings and
comings, let it be chronicled here that
the topic of conversation on the bay
ferries for the last few days has been
the fact that President Jordan changed
his collar last Friday afternoon.
* * *
The afternoon, be it recalled, was'ex
ceedingly warm. Prexy was seen hurry
ing along Battery street. There were
hundreds of other citizens on the street
at the time, but it was on the large and
scholarly figure of the educator from
the middle west, the gentleman from
Indiana, that the popular eye was
As he reached a vacant lot near Cali
fornia street he stopped. He looked up
and down the street. He made a hasty
inspection of the thousands of windows
that looked down upon him. Suddenly
he clutched his throat. His fingers ap
peared to be tearing at his windpipe.
But they were not. They were
merely disentangling a limp collar
from the clutch of a golden button.
With an impatient yank he ripped the
collar loose, rolled it into a ball and
tossed It into the vacant lot. From a
side pocket he produced a neatly
wrapped package of cylindrical shape
which, when uncovered and unwound,
revealed itself a perfectly clean and
unrumpled collar. He put this on with
the graceful ease of long practice and
then resumed his way, unconscious that
he had made history, but feeling a little
more comfortable.
«• * #
Would President Wheeler have done
anything like this? That is the ques
tion which agitates the Berkeley com
muters, who are still discussing the
Jordan lightning change act. Wheeler
fs a well known figure on the ferries,
and the general opinion seems to be
that his collars never wilt. Wheeler,
they say, makes haste vicariously. He
learned this art from Victor Henderson,
whose first care when he was appointed
Wheeler's secretary was to teach his
chief calmness under all condition - .
Victor is now busy toning up the board
of regents, but Prexy still retails the
calm dignity upon which his secretary
* ¥■ #
The picture of President Wheeler afv!
his former secretary on their way to
attend a meeting of the board of re
gents w_3 an example of calm deliber
ation that many commuters have en
joyed watching.
The real performance did not bpsr?;
until they left the train and boards.'
the ferry steamer. Henderson was h<
companied by an assistant who carrie I
a bag containing the papers and recopd
with which the regents were to deal.
As Henderson sat down the assistan !
opened the bag and produced a pile -f
papers. Prexy in a - seat a few yard'
away puffed his cigar and by watchi~~
Henderson absorbed the lesson of sci
entific calmness.
One by one the assistant laid papers
on Victor's knee and removed each one
after Victor had written somethins
thereon with a fountain pen. The only
conversation was when Prexy on rare
occasions would come forward and ask
"Why do you insist that I attend
such and such a meeting?"
Victor would lower his pen. signal his
asslstant to rest and in a tone of firm
but gentle admonition would say:
"Because, sir, in its very essence the
subject under discussion is fundament
ally of intense educational value."
"Oh, very well." Prexy, with a sigh,
would return to his corner and his
cigar, and Victor would start the as
sistant again.
* * #
Mrs. Malaprop is still with us. I
met her the other day on the ferry
steamer Berkeley. A friend with her
was complaining of the condition of
the San Francisco streets.
"I was on such and such a street to
day," the friend said. 'It was all nlcelv
finished a few weeks ago, and now
they are digging a great trench right
through the new pavement, I wonder
"Necessary, my dear." said Mrs. Mal
aprop. "They have to do that every
time they lay a new convict." Q. L. c.
Abe Martin
One o' th' most charmin' social af
fairs o' th" midsummer wuz th' goin'
away party given last evenin' fer Mrs.
Tub Pash, who leaves her husband t'day.
You hardly ever hear a feller say he's
strapped nowadays, He jist ha* things

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