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MONEY, MONEY, WHAT IS MONEY?
Wise Oracles Unable to Agree on Answer Attorney Samuel M, Shortridge defines money as "nothing,* , but the dictionary does not agree with him. Neither do several citizens of San Francisco. Some of them even go so far as to think that money talks, that it makes the mare go, that it is the root of all evil, that it performs all kinds of things. Some of them decline to commit themselves on the subject. Others speak haltingly about it, as if it were something unfamiliar, uncanny. Weird, mysterious. Some would fain dismiss it as something trivial, hardly worth a moment's attention, while others yet seem to think it is really a necessary factor of life, liberty and the pur suit of happiness. What is money anyway? Attorney Shortridge has stirred up the animals. The SUPERVISOR ADOLF KOSHLAND, chairman of aupplle* committee < "Money is the root of all evil, but everybody seems to be digging for that root. It U the hardest thing to get, especially out of the finance committee. They used to cay. Money makes the mare go, , but nowadays it Is, 'Autos make the money go, , " GEORGE LULL, naatatant city at torney: "I am not in the habit of giving curbstone opinions on such important questions. Money is le gal tender. That is why our legal lights have such a tender regard for it." REGISTRAR ZEMASTSKYi "I am quite pure it has nothing to do with elections." MARIUS J. KAST, clerk of tbe ■« pervlaors; "Personally, I rather like it." SUPERVISOR HAYDEN, chairman of the publicity committee and bosß of the municipal band: "Money makes music. The more money the more music. I wish we had enough for two municipal bands. I believe in perfect har mony, and next to that produced by the city musicians there is nothing sweeter than the sound of $2 Jingling where only one Jingled before. Like John Talt, I believe that a man's appetite for money should not Impair his ap petite for good food. Drop in on your way down to the ferry." W. W. HANCOCK, elevator man, city hall: "Don't worry about us. Wβ have our ups and downs, but we always get our pay." GAVIN McNABj "Money is the only thing '~ life that confers nothing until we part with it. The found ers of this republic, in order to , insure industry and frugality, placed a beautiful f.gcr* of a woman on the dollar, and all men have been pursuing the lady ever since." J. T. McMIIXAN, United State* hydrographlc office: "What's money? Show me some and per haps I can tell you." A FRIEND: "Call around Tuesday. I will have it sure." TERENCE LEAHY, who placed tbe race* In Joareat "They say money is what makes the mare go, but it's the other way. The mare makes the money go. It did mine, all right." ANDREW CARNEGIE and JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER have wired that they decline to be interviewed, adding- that they do not see what interest the public has in money anyway. LEAGUE URGES TORPEDO BOATS BE BUILT HERE Declaring that the encouragement of the shipbuilding industry of the Pacific coast is of national importance and stating that the slightly higher cost of construction and repairing of warships in the west is more than offset by the advantages of having quicker delivery, the Home Industry league of California yesterday sent a telegram to Secretary of the Navy Meyer asking that the con tract for new torpedo boats be awarded to the Union Iron works of San Fran cisco. The telegram follows: Representing large interests, we respectfully and earnestly ask that the contract for torpedo boats be awarded to the Union Iron works, San Francisco. We believe it is of national importance that the ship building industry of- the Pacific coast be supported and encouraged to enlarge and modernize their fa rillties as a measure of public safety, so that in time of urgent necessity «uch great plants may fne utilized by the navy department in building and repairing warships. . Economic conditions, higher cost of living, etc., make a slightly higher price necessary on this coast, but we are convinced that this is more than offset by the ad vantages of having quicker deliv ery on the Pacific coast, not to mention the experience our people will obtain in turning out quickly work up to government standard, which possible in the future may be much more important than any difference in the first cost of build ing-. We fe#l convinced that you will be in harmony with the foregoing views and that you will go as far us you legally can in supporting the builders of the glorious battle ship Oregon and other ships that have been a credit to their builders. The message was signed by A. C. Rulofson. president, and David IT. Wal ker, acting secretary of the league. NOVEL HOLIDAY EVENT PnpilM and Teacher* of Garfield Pri mary School Plan Entertainment Th* teachers and p v.plls of the Gar fteld rrfmary school, in Filbert street near Kearny, are preparing for a novel exhibition to be given December 19. It is to be in the nature of a Christmas festival, in which 900 pupils will take part, many of them to appear in cos tumee of different European countries. The program wJll be made up of num bers illustrative of the Kris Kringle customs in all parts of Europe and the United States. CALIFOR3TIAXS HV ILLINOIS Th second annual dinner of the Cal ifornia society of Illinois will be held In Chicago, Marshall day, January 24, 71>13, according to an announcement received by the San Francisco Cham ber of Commerce, and every Callfornian who can find it convenient to be in the Illinois city that day is assured a hearty welcome. The local Chamber of Commerce expects to distribute at tractive literature, advertising San Francisco and California to the for mer residents of the Golden state on that occasion. GOMPERS , O. K. GOES TO TAFT WASHINGTON, Nov. SO.—Samuel Gompers, president of the American Federation of Labor, and Frank Mor rison, its secretary, today recommended to President Taft the appointment of John B. Lennon, treasurer, and James O'Connell, third vice president of the Federation, to the industrial commis sion. fact is that he is a discoverer. He has discovered a subject upon which opinions can not agree. But he has not explored his field. He has got us going and now he leaves us. We all thought we knew what money was and now find that we don't know anything of the kind. We always thought that when we made a hur ried touch we owed the touchee something. Attorney Shortridge says we dont; that we owe nothing, which is comforting — until we are touched ourselves. Anyhow, the dictionary and the encyclopedia are out of it. They help us not at all. Money itself has been known to be helpful, in isolated instances, but it does not help us to know what it is. The whole thing 15 confusing. LIST TQ THE ORACLES What is money? Listen — - CAPTAIN LOUIS H. TURNER, ma rine surveyor, Fireman* Fund Iβ »iiranrc company i "I think money Itself is a good thing. They say money Is the root of all evil, but I don't believe it. It's the use you put money to that counts." JOHN H. SWIFT, runner** mate, United State* navy: "Moneys the same as old nails as long as you carry it in your pocket. It's just what you buy when you spend it." SUPERVISOR OSCAR HOCKS i "Money is the source of great happiness and great misery as well. The millionaire is unhappy, trying to take care of his money, invest it wisely and see that no one gets it away from him. The poor man is wishing to get a lit tle money and he isn't happy. Health and happiness are worth more than money. I have always said that and thought it" MRS. E. G. DENNISTONt "Money is something rather, important, but it isn't everything by any means. If we have nothing but money to build on, it is a very poor foundation. However, it is a very useful commodity." SANTA CXAUS: "Don't bother me now. I'm busy. Come around after Christmas. Maybe you won't ask me then what money is. You'll ask what it was." PETER B. KYNE, novellet: "It's r short story. My name is Irish for 'coin" and I stay with my name, but it doesn't etay with me." DR. GUIDO E. CAGLIERI, *uper vlsort "I hate the filthy lucre. Where do you keep it?" TIV KRELIXG, sergeant at arms for the eupervlaore, and athlete: "Money doesn't count on my Job. If a rich man and a poor man both started a disturbance dur ing a meeting of the board I would bounce the rich man first. Money talks, and he would most likely want to stop and argue. I would be compelled to use the most forcible argument on him. I would like to have enough money so that if I ever got eick I could go to St. Mary's hospital, where it would be a pleasure to have my health restored under the tender mercies of so many pretty nurses. I think lam get ting a bad cold now. Yes, I am a bachelor, but still have hope." THOMAS CROWLEY, Crowley Tu« boat company: "I don't know what it is. It isn't money we're after—it's work." CHARGE AGAINST BELASCO FAILS After Seeing Plays Judge Decides Accusation of Plagiarism Is Unfounded NEW YORK, Nov. SO.—A suit brought against David Belasco and William de MiHe. alleging plagiarism in a play produced by them, was thrown out by Judge Holt in the federal court today. Abraham Goldknopf, a playwright, brought the charge. To enable Judge Holt to decide whether the two plays were similar both were staged espe cially for him in a local theater one day this week. NEGRO IS LYNCHED IX GEORGIA GORDELE. Ga., Nov. 30.—Chestley Wniiams, a negro, who shot two white women near Rhine and assaulted one of them, was dragged from the court house at Mcßae by a mob today and lynched. HOW TO PRESERVE YOUTH AND BEAUTY. One jreat secret of youth and beauty for the young woman or the mother ia the proper understanding of her womanly system and well-being. Every woman, young or old, should knew herself and her physical make up. A good way to arrive at this knowledge is to get a good doctor book, such for instance, as "The People's Common Sense Medical Adviser," by R. V. Pierce, M. D., which can readily be procured by sending thirty-one cents for cloth-bound copy, addressing Dr. Pierce, at Buffalo, N. Y. The womanly system is a delioate machine which oan only be compared to the in* tricate mechanism of a beautiful watch which will keep in good running order only with good oare and the proper oiling at the right time, so that the delicate mech anism may not be worn out. Very many time* young women / * et or **** their time through ignorance and /dm \ the improper handling of this human mechanism. Mental WL \ depression, a confused head, backache, headache, or hot \ flashes and many symptoms of derangement of the womanly flfljl fffipl \ system can be avoided by a proper understanding of what to 1 do, in those trying times that coaee to all women. \ $r Mrs. G. H. Williams, of Lyimhayen, Vs., wrote: "It Iβ six years i / since my health rave way. I had female trouble aad all the doc bar« J>yoUr / (I employed three) **id I would die. I was net able to do my werk. \ j jm /A*- v / had to hire someone all the thne. Finally, 1 read in the paper* abeat \ S vJK»/ L / r - Pierce'e Favorite Prescription, and decided te try It. I had not \ ( Wγ A / taken bat one bottle until I found it had done me β-oed. I took, ia all, V /■ S/ five bottles of 'Favorite Prescription , aad two of Golden Medical -Js Discovery,' and now 1 ant able to do all my housework, and have earned fourteen pounds. I advise all women who suffer from female trouble lilts. Williams. te try your Favorite Prescription.' It's the only medicine on earth." YOUR SOUR, GASSY, UPSET STOMACH WILL FEEL FINE IN FIVE MINUTES "Really does" put bad stomachs In order—"really does" overcome indiges-! tlon, dyspepsia, gas, heartburn and sourness in five minutes—that—just that makes Pape's Diapepsin the largest selling stomach regulator in the world. If what you eat ferments into stubborn lumps, you belch gas and eructate sour, undigested food and acid; head is dlzy and aches; breath foul; tongue coated; your insides filled with bile and indigestible waste, remember the moment Dia pepsin comes in contact with the stomach all such distress vanishes. It's truly astonishing—almost marvelous, and the Joy is in its harmlessness. I iDi aplpsinlF fillj J MAKES DISORDERED STOMACHS -'jfiSJlfr jk iMT^T Bfcf ._ . . __-_ \mW*Sml. \J \y j LARGE 50 CENT CASE-ANY DRUG STORE. \spßß*W.™W™»^ THE BAN FRANOIBCO CALL, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1913, SUPERVISOR HENRY PAYOTi "The trouble with money is that none of us ever have enough of it. It taint right to take if it is tainted, and still, if it taint tainted it taln't enough. We are building: an incinerator to burn everything , but money. Coin goes up In smoke without much assistance. Our new billboard ordinance will bring down the billboards, but board bills are ever with us." AUDITOR THOMAS BOYLEt "Why worry about money? It is a mere trifle. I am going to give away $110,000 of it tomorrow, and ask nothing in return. My only re ward will be the happiness de picted in the faces of the school teachers, who will receive that lit. tie sum in the morning, instead of December 2, because of the holi days. No, I am not a philan thropist, but an auditor." MRS. ANNIE LITTLE BARRY: "Money is the accepted means by which we purchase the necessities of life and as many , of the lux uries as posflMe." DR. A. A. D'ANCON A, president o« the board of educations "It builds palaces and works of art —all things that "add to the comfort and happiness of the human race, and most men are in the race to win it. Education should teach that money is alone the means to the end. If taken as the end in itself it becomes the agent of cor ruption." CHIEF OF POLICE WHITE: "I see so little of It I know very little abo-ut it. We have had quite a few guests in our Kearny street 'hotel' whom we entertained be hind the bars for making money in competition with Uncle Sam. They knew too much about money. I believe in any good man making all the money he can so long as he does not try to make it in his own mint. When a man is hard Up they say he Is pinched for money, but I know of a few who have been pinched for borrowing it with a Jimmy. How's that?" POKER JIM of Maaon Mreet: "Four aces look very much like money to me." LAZARUS Eμ SEAMEY, relief hornet "Money never talks to me. It whispered once, but I wasn't lis tening. I wouldn't recognize its voice. We haven't a speaking ac quaintance." SHADE OF CAPTAIN KIDD (sepul* chrally): "Pieces-of-eight, pieces of-eight." TWO BANDITS HOLD UP MAN AND WIFE IN BED Awakened by a knock on the door, C. Martin of 18 South Park was con fronted by two armed robbers shortly after midnight. They ordered him to get back In bed, and while one cov ered the couple with a revolver, the other went to Martin's trousers, tak ing $18 and a watch. Aa he stood over her with a revolver the thief, forced Mrs. Martin to give up her wed ding ring, and cautioning their vic tims to make no outcry, the pair fled. Bo Man Quan, 862 Grant avenue, was held up by three men in Hawthorne street and robbed of $14. Jewelry valued at $100 was stolen from the apartment of Mrs. C. Blum, 840 Van Ness avenue. Burglars ransacked the room of C. "Wilson, 1029 Golden Gate avenue, and atole articles worth 166. G. Rathbone, 565 Fifth avenue, re ported the theft of jewelry valued at $62 from his home. A BODY BLOW DEALT TO THE INSTALLMENT FURNITURE SELLING BUSINESS The public now to have an opportunity to use ''Installment Credit, ,, abused to a degree that "Cash" instead of "Credit ,, to great advantage. almost calls for protection at the hands of the law. The High Cost of Living as Applied to the Price of Foodstuffs Put in the Shade by the Outrageous Cost of the Most Useful Commodity of the Human Race—PUENITURE, CARPETS, ETC. Chief among the causes contributing to the unreasonable High Prices that prevail in San Francisco is the "Credit" that is so liberally (?) extended.-—And while the installment houses graciously hand you "all the credit you want" with the one hand, they cunningly blind you and abstract hard earned money from your pocket with the other. CASH IS THE POWER NOW Relief From This Distressing State of Affairs Offered the Public THEA.B. SMITH Co. Changes its policy and becomes the only strictly Cash House in San Francisco, cutting the prices of Furniture, Carpets, Rugs, Bedding, Draperies and Stoves, TO SAVE YOU FROM 30 TO 50% Before making this decided change we consulted with To successfully meet the situation, it is necessary to bankers and other men and women of large affairs, prom- show the public with unmistakable certainty that Furniture, inent in business, the home, society, the church and educa- Carpets, etc., can be sold for Cash at nearly 50 per cent less tional institutions. and stm leaye a profit They were all encouraged at the prospect of relief this „, ... , ~ ... innovation would give the public-saving them from the f . The conditions so favorable to carrying out the new rapacious greed for high prices in return for "Installment P°hcy are all to be found here and will be effectively Credit," that the people could never shake off once they re- brought into play with a seventy that will be appreciated sponded to "Your Credit Is Good." by everybody who knows the value of money. The weapons in our hands that will work to the extraordinary benefit of the Home Furnisher are these—A tremendous stock of goods of Quality—Sample show rooms covering the enormous area of 34,000 square feet of floor space—Extremely low rent (only one-tenth that of any other large store)— Economical management —No collection .bureaus—No credit investigating sys tems —No free auto rides for house hunting— And, most important of alj—the cash in the drawer every day, which obtains for us the greatest Discounts in Price at the Factories, from whom we buy direct, cutting out every middleman's profit. it ever occur to you that the tremendous loss sustained by bad installment credits is fully made up by the price you pay for installment accommodations." ; Country orders In delivering this most important message to the public, with the facts so amply "bV^v'llV receive careful presented, we necessarily can "not give many actual illustrations of what Cash will do unknown at attention at same here ag against t j ie "Installment game." But the prices we quote today are representa- Smith's. Every freight prepaid to tive of the values you will find throughout the entire house. price is a special points vithm 100 Y ou can afford now to draw your money from savings banks, sacrifice the interest, ELI? miles from San aml stin make 30 to 50 per cent profit by buying here for cash. must i nveil \ Sate Francisco. ___^■—■■—■■■«■———■■ —— K/\ Magnificent Colonial Bedroom Suite, sold at $130 in any installment house. M *P#% Cft JP /UiOU Beautifully figured Circassian walnut, high class cabinet work, massive yet 9 £ jJiOV • CASH well proportioned in design. A wonderful value. CASH $24.50 CASH $17.75 CASH $40 at any Installment House % $ 30 at an y Installment House The "Comfo" Bed Davenport—Solid oak, golden or * %j&* fumed—genuine ivlorOCColine upholstery—opens with a The Exienmou Table—SolM oak, selected quarter-sawed, per ,. , • 1 , . , ... ' . , feet nut brown fumed finish. iS-inch top, extenda to S feet. Patent slight single movement —large bedding receptacle. locked pedestal. A. B. SMITH CO. THE HOME OF LOW PRICES-WHERE IT FAYS TO PAY CASH 121-127 Golden Gate Aye. at Jones, One Block off Market St. 41