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Newspaper Page Text
i Freddy Film
•nprright. lf>l3, International News Service. He's Still Throwing the Bull The Hypnotic Eye Tomorrow The Dingbat Family Polly and Her Pals Us Boys The Call's Comic Features On this page daily will appear the Comic Features which will make The Call an eagerly sought after caller in every home; this is the page where" the laughs lurk, ready to spring out at the reader without an instant's Warning and force him, despite himself, to grin, chuefcle, roar with mirth. Here are some of the features that will appear on this page: The Dingbat Family. Mr. and Mrs. Dingbat are, at present, engaged in the moving picture business. They are moving picture actors, and while they are not always cast fdr the comics, there is always comedy in the way they behave. Mr. Dinbgat and Mrs. Dingbat do not enjoy that serene harmony which should be the lot of married folk; on the contrary their path is about as rosy as a storm cloud. Watch the Dingbats daily, watch the Daily Dingbats. They are drawn by Herriman-—that starts a laugh right away. Laugh daily with the Dingbats. "Polly and Her Pals" is a series of cartoons drawn by Sterrett. Polly is a winsome young lady; it's a pity one can't say as much, for her pa; but truth insists that her pa be the butt of most of the jests which Artist Sterrett perpetrates. "Polly and Her Pals" will be a daily treat for Call readers. "Us Boys," by Tom McNamara, explains itself in the title. "Us Boys," that's all there is to it—that's enough. -They are busy boys—"Skinny" and his comrades and enemies. And always read "Us Boys" to the end— there is apt to be a joke concealed at the extreme southeast corner of the map—look for it —daily. "Freddy Film" is the comedy of the movies—a daily moving picture helter skelter down the edge of the page—drawn by Leo. Freddy is some actor —tumble after him every day from the top to the bottom of the page and you'll believe it ( Mii.li«a»%*« i i-"tr ■-, .t -- - -, —. —, THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 1913. FATHER'S Idea of good luck is a winning lottery ticket. Mother's to find a pair of stockings that do not need darning. It is father who hopes at the be ginning of Impracticable schemes, and mother who cheers when things go wron r In the end. It is father who is depressed and exaggerates what is lost, and mother who is cheerful in counting what is left. Mother is proud to be told that the homeliest child in the family resem bles her. Father Isn't. Here of late the children put the dependence in father's money that some generations ago was put in mother's prayers. ' It is father, never mother, who ex pects the children to assume the bur den as they get older. Mother, if she had her way, would carry it till the day of her death. Once upon a time father called mother and the children together and said in the very wisest way: "This house would be conducted better if business principles were applied. Tour system," frown ng at mother, "would throw a peanut stand into the court of bankruptcy. I have opened what I will call a trouble book. Every mem Copyrifat, ISIS, InternatiaotJ Naare Serrice, v ."' :','V " s Copyright', 1918, International Nawa Serriee. Registered United States Patent Office. Mother and Father it of troubles, worries, etc., and we will meet at the end of the week to discuss the entries and act upon any suggestions for reform." Then he frowned at mother again j and went to his office. A week later | the trouble book was opened. "Mother won't let me go swimming." "Mother refuses to let me have any spending money; I suggest a needed reform here." "Mother wouldn't let me wear my best dress to play in," etc., appeared in the handwriting of the children, and in father's hand writing there appeared: "Mother had the steak too well done"; "Mother Is neglecting her personal appearance: I recall 20 years ago when she took more pride in doing her hair"; "Mother asked for money today to get Willie new shoes; 1 must look into her extravagance," etc., from father ! and the children, but not one com plaint from mother. Passing between Scylia and Cha rybdla is no feat compared with the daily position of the mother whose children are always demanding more money of her, and whose husband is always telling her she must get along with less. Before the oldest girl In the family is 16 her father finds his throne tot tering, and by the time she. Is 18 he hasn't enough authority left to order Here's One Shrew Mr. D, Can't Tame a favorite old picture left on the par- 1 lor wall. When father acolda and goes out ■lamming the door, the daughter wlahea ahe could have a man like that for a husband about a minute, and; she'd cure him, and her mother tells her ahe will have a chance some day. Mother cooks the meat in a way that suits father; other portions of the dinner are selected and cooked to suit the children, and the dessert la the kind that pleases the babies. As for herself—of course mother likes what pleases the family. It is not! very creditable to those children who live and grow up, but in the years to come the mother finds her greatest comfort in the thought that the child that would have always been appreciative and kind, and never have hurt her, is the one that died when it was a baby. PRANCES Lv OARSIDE. "I was wondering " said tha Inquis itive neighbor as she rested her chin on the fence, "why it is that with just the same sized family as ours your garbage can always seems over crowded and ours isn't half full." The other woman was indignant. "In our family," she shot back, "food Is food and garbage in garbage." Pa Can't Amount to Much Just One More Peek Do You Know That— THE longest artificial water course in the world is the . Bengal canal, 900 miles in length. I optical co. li I 120 Geary St., San Francisco. , 476 Thirteenth St., Oakland. * " . . ... Other stores—Sacramento, Stockton, "... Vallejo, Fresno. I Chinn-Berettc* $2.50 Eyeglasses ||| The result of our whole experience—our j; j|j whole ability—we endeavor to embody in | ijjl our $2.50 eyeglasses. Always Chinn-Beretta j| eyeglasses are the very highest quality—the j! ijjj most perfect and reliable *to be had anywhere. Ijj 19 The most common • narrie for." a place .in England is Js'ewton. which occurs no fewer than .72 , times.