The San Francisco call. [volume], September 05, 1913, Page 5, Image 5

About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

Image provided by: University of California, Riverside; Riverside, CA

                
Freddy Film
Copyright. 1913. International News Ser»ie*.
And the Brand Was Red Hot
— i
Quo Vadis Tomorrow
TELL NO TALES
A quack doctor was holding forth
about his "medicines" to a rural audi
ence.
"Yes, gentlemen." he said, "I have
sold these pills for over 25 years, and
never heard a word of complaint.
Now, what does that proveT'
A Voice—That dead men tell no
" Waiter,'' grumbled a customer, "I
shoujd like to know the meaning of
this. Yesterday I was served with a
portion of pudding twice the size of
• Indeed, air." rejoined the waiter.
"Where did.you alt?"
"By the window," answered the cus
tomer.
"Oh, that accounta for it," said the
waiter. -Vt'e always give people by
the window large portions. It's an
advertisement."
Eenign Old Gentleman —Poor little
cb pi Where did that cruel boy hit
m • '■
'.omnsy—Boo-tio-oo! We were 'aving
a naval'battle, and 'c torpedoed me
ln the engine room! ,
The Dingbat Family
Polly and Her Pals
Us Boys
OFTENTIMES a medium loses her
own personality and becomes for
the time being another individ
ual—so many are led to believe.
That is to say, her spirit goes out of
her body, floats temporarily in the
atmosphere, goodness knows where,
while some long deceased person oc
cupies her material frame and dis
courses through her lips. Mrs. Piper,
a famous clairvoyant of the last cen
tury, often permitted a mythical "Dr.
Phlnuit" this privilege, and Mrs.
Pepper was very kindly to an Indian
maid, "Bright-Eyes," as many will
well remember through the reports
of a recent lawsuit. At such timea
their voices would completely change,
and to all intents and purposes they
were different people.
I have no opinions to offer on the
truth or falsity of such experiments.
I only know what I have done along
the very same lines. And I have been
told that some of the things that I
have accomplished have far outdone
any recorded of them and were de
cidedly more convincing. (I am In
forming you that every ao called
manifestation to my credit was
founded on nothing outside of my
own imagination and trickery).
HE WOULD THY
I had often been asked by my fol
lowers if I had ever permitted my
body to be occupied in clalrvoyancy.
I had not, but I would try—it waa
my purpose to leave no field of mys
tery untouched.
One night I was seated with my
THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1913-.
The Confessions of a Medium
CHARLES D. ISAACSON
Copyright, 1913, International News Service.
circle, talking quietly and slowly. It
was winter, and the faint moonlight
streaks on the snow outside looked
like vagrant ghosts of other days. A
low light glimmered from one end of
our room and reflected a ghastly yel
low glare on my face. I had been
sakad a question, which I was about
to answer, when I pressed my hand
suddenly to my heart with a quick,
short gasp. Instantly all were close
about me. "What's the matter?
Aren't you well? Speak out, please."
I answered not a word. My body
began to twitch and shake, my eyes
closed, and I lay back on the sofa
where they had taken me, motionless,
H if dead. Some one sprinkled my
forehead with water, others rubbed
my hand's, until finally my eyes
opened. Slowly I sat up, looked
queerly about me, walked with sham
bling gait and bent shoulders like
an old man to the mantelpiece, ex
amining with curious manner the
familiar objects in the room.
The members of the circle drew
shrinkingly away as if afraid, until
some one asked, "What is the matter?
Is this Charles D. Isaacson, or is it
some other, come in clairvoyant pos
session?"
Then I began to speak. Slowly and
slightly rasping, and as if with great
difficulty, I said: "This is Forster —
David Forster. Do you not know me?
Lawyer. Once of Manchester, Eng
land. Fine family. Friend of the
nobility. Handsomest man of my time
In my younger days and popular with
the ladlaa. Ah, I had the ladies. I
passed out at 90 years—respected and
(Copyright, 1013, International Newg Serrire.*
fßegiiterml United State. Patent Offloe.l *
loved. Have you never heard of me?"
GOT HIM AT I,AST
And I advanced to one of the women,
tickled her under the chin as 1
chuckled.
"Ah, you're a fine set here, you are.
Fine women, fine women. Smart men.
Clever medium, that Isaacson —I
cauKht him this time, though, didn't
I? He's been keeping me out for the
damndest time. I got 'im this time,
all right."
So I went on, conversing with my
friends, talking about Forster. his
past life, his friends, his present ex
istence; about myself, how I had been
fighting him and how he had finally
succeedj*d in beating me; about the
members of the circle and intimate
points about the private life of each,
which 'he claimed to have witnessed
himself.
Then I was taken again with a
spasm—coming to—as myself.
"What did you think of that experi
ment?" I was asked.
"Don't know anything about it," I
replied, to the growing astonishment
of all.
Since that time David Forster has
returned many times —in fact he has
been what might be called the
counterpart of "Doctor Phinult" and
"Bright Eyes." He has come at every
call and told us marvelous stories of
the past, of the present beyond the
grave, and of the future.
Nor lias he been the only one who,
they thought, ousted me from my
body in clairvoyant trance. On Wash
ington's birthday the father of his
Mr. D. Would Sooner Be the Cow Than the Goat
Cr>l>Trlgbt, lUI3, International News Service.
country delivered a long speech.
Charles Dickens gave us the synopsis
of a novel. A crazy .Indian frightened
every one with his native warwhoops
and dance. Doctor Johnson gave a
very masterly discussion on decadent
literature. One gentleman gave a
long message in French, and still an
other amused us with a curious Eng
lish description mingled with a con
glomeration of Italian and Spanish.
Paganlnl, the great violinist of ghoul
ish memory, came in and asked for a
violin. He played what he called a
new melody, but If any one listening
had been a student of mußlc he would
have recognised It as the famous
"Devil's Trill," which I had carefully
studied for several weeks previous to
making the experiment.
Several women had "taken posses
sion" and my voice had been very
carefully changed to suit each case.
But perhaps the greatest sensation of
all wag when there came Sir Henry
Irving, the English actor, most artis
tic of all his time, who recited his
favorite number, "The Dream of Eu
gene Aram," bringing tears to the
eyes of many of my listeners.
At another time I described in de
tail a place far distant, giving names
and dates, providing a very impres
sive example of clairvoyancy:
"I am in a cemetery," I began in
the person of an old Dutch settler of
New Amsterdam. "There are many
tombstones and many beautiful trees.
Come with me and I will show you
where my body lies. We go in the
main entrance by a church. We turn
It Was Only Polite of Cupid to Run Home
All Aboard! The Gang's Off to the Country
Up-to-Date Jokes
VTTEBXY CUISHED
It was a warm, radiant summer
morning; the birds were singing
sweetly, the flowers and dewy grass
shimmered tn the sparkling sunlight;
and there, in the park. Robert Peeler
—a very Junior officer—was doing his
utmost to make a favorable impres
sion on the pretty nursemaid, while
the latter's small charge busily
chased elusive butterflies.
"Ah," sighed the dashing Robert,
"I wish you were my governess!"
"So i\fj I," replied the girl.
Hope sprang into Robert's heart.
"And what would you do with me?"
he asked.
"Stop you smoking cigarettes, and
get your hair cvt —to say nothing
of punishing you for talking non
sense during school hours!"
Then Robert ponderously continued
on his beat.
* * *
Shop keeper (to new boy)— When
to the left for several minutes. Here
is my grave and on It the name, Yon
Glahn. Farther on, within a plot
where many lie, we look over thej-ail
ing, and there is a small headstone,
on which appeara the name Washing
ton Irving."
The message extended over a full
evening, telling everything about the
old Dutch cemetpry of Tarrytown—
the estates near by—-the bridge—the
streets' and stores. Several members
of the circle traveled up there to
corroborate or disprove what they
had heard.
Oh, it's a shame that people will be
such ninnies. Hadn't I been there a
week before to make sure that noth
ing was said that wasn't right to the
finest detail! ,
you've finished sweeping the shop and |
put things straight, don't hang about
wasting your time. You can be catch
ing flies and putting them into our
new patent fly trap, so that it will be
ready to put in the window.
Entering a barber's shop a customer
with scanty locks asked for a bottle
of hair reatorer, with which the as
sistant promptly supplied him. For a
time he persevered in friis application
of the remedy for missing hair, but
this only resulted in raising bumps on
his cranium which would have puz-
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-Edward Frank Alien.
Oa th, Trmil
MOUNT RAINIER
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For further information regarding fares, train service. m r%\m\> jifa^l
accomodation* in the Park and literature, call
CITY TICKET OFFICE $\ MX ffft k
Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway J ~
22 POWELL STREET rr« SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. JUL
Ummt ImmMtlmt •» AT*. Xefafer
I zled the most expert phrenologist. In
haste he returned to the barber's
shop.
"L.00k," he exclaimed, exeltedly,
"what the stuff you sold me ln this
bottle has done to my head."
Puzzled and perplexed, the barber
took the bottle, examined it, then
turned to the assistant and fairly
shouted:
"You blockhead! What you have
sold this customer is not hair restorer.
It Is my patent recipe for bust devel
oping!"
5