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'Copyright. 1913, International New* Service) A Little Browbeating Tomorrow: Just Pipe the Marathon RUDOLPH WAS WISE A man who was a regular patron of a certain restaurant said to the waiter: 'Rudolph, Instead of tipping you every day I'm going to give you your tip in a lump sum next Christmas." "Thank you, sir," answered Rudolph, "but— cr —-would you mind paying me. something in ad vance.*Sir'.'" "H'm It's a funny request." said the patron, "hut here—here's $5 for you. "What's the matter —do you need the money or don't you trust my mem "Oh, no, sir." smiled Rudolph, pock eting the tip. "It isn't that. Only I'm leaving here today, sir." The Dingbat Family Polly and Her Pals Us Boys THE TUNNEL <From tbe German of Bernhard Kellermann _(>rm«ti Tendon. Copyrlcui. 1913. by 8. Fischer. Verlag. Berlin. kustiab translation ami compUatiou by Copyright. 1813. International N»*« Service) Continued from Ye*terd"y The night before Allan and Ethel sat alone in the old Lloyd home way up on the river and talked until far in the night. it was the first time since their wedding night, many years before, that they had opened up their inmost hearts to each other. And now they had come to the day of whitening hair, childless and alone, and there was much to say. It seemed to Allan that all that this woman had been to him in these long yearn came down upon him in one overwhelming rush, and at last the taciturn man of facts and figures found the words to give his emotion visible life. To the woman, this one night compensated for all that she had missed; and in the years to come she thought only of that and forgot the rest. \ i oni;iioni\(. "you'll hear from me all along the route, of course," he told her. as he left her the next afternoon. "And as soon as we reach the other side I'll get you on the phone." "All right, dear. Goodby—and good luck!" She waved her hand from the steps as he drove away. It should have been a day of de- THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, I&L3 I lirious triumph for Allan —the day he I : had lived for all these Zt years. But |as he left Kthel a depression came ] j over him that he could not shake off. |He wished that he had taken her i I with him. though they had decided ! that it would not be best. The crowds | and the cheering and the haopv, en- i thusiastic greetings of O'Malley, Wainwright and his other trusted and faithful aides could not rouse him from the mild torpor of despondency, though outwardly ho was happy and enthusiastic In his characteristically i repressed fashion. | O'Malley and Wainwright had I claimed and obtained the honor of driving the train part of the way. i Allan was to have the first place of I honor, the bringing of the train into | the station outside of London. O'Mai j ley was master of the cab from Tun j nel City to Bermuda, and Wainwright could be on the bridge on the long leg :of the run, the straight dash from 'Bermuda to Fayal, in the Azores. Then : Allan would take the controller and ! pilot the first train to the finish mark. The world sat up for 24 hours to j watch the progress of that projectile flying through the depths of the I earth. O'Malley brought them into I Bermuda only two minutes behind their schedule. The work of changing j engines and testing was expedited to pick up this loss, till the train shot ; out under the bed of the Atlantic on time. Fayal was readied five minutes and 40 seconds late, and when Allan turned on the power and the train darted forward again with a roar they were still three minutes behind time. O'Malley stood beside him In case -~ What's the Matter With Skinny? f (Registered Dal ted States Patent Office) Greater Sft®;ry ®ff Dis KM of accidents, and hardly a word was spoken. He kept bis eyes on the face of his chief In wonder and perplexity. Allan seemed to have grown young again, but there was a troubled look in the hooded eyes that gazed, un thinking, up the long perspective, and a grim, gray look about the mouth. He did not seem to be conscious of OMalley's presence. When the latter addressed him, making pertinent com ments on their speed, only the barest nod indicated that he had heard. When his watch and the marks on the stations told him that they were approaching the channel, O'Malley burst into a yelp of joy. QOOD I'ROsi'iocrs "By the eternal!" he roared. "I be lieve you'll bring us in on time, chief!" He was so excited now that he paid no heed to Allan's apathy. At every mark he let out yells of joy, and glued his eyes to the chronometers as if to hold them back by force of will. "We'll make it! We'll make it, sure!" he cried every second, and as Allan's fingers caressed the brake control lie slapped his chief on the shoulder. "Not yet—not yet. Mac! Give her the limit and we'll make It!" The heavy wheels shrieked in the grip of the brakes as the train roared into the station, but the clamor was lost tn the thunder of the mighty crowd that was gathered to meet it. As the mighty leviathan of the darkness trembled and stopped with a jar and a gasp O'Malley gave vent to a final roar of triumph. The slender brass needle of the chronom- Beans Make the Bean Ache (Copyright, 1913. international News Serrlce) Sounds Like a Cow Bell (Copyright, 1813, International News Serrice) cter indicated a fraction of a minute less than 12 o'clock. "We've beat it! We've beat it, Mac!"* he yelled, still watching the clock. He struck for his chief's shoulder with his open hand —and missed. Then he looked down. Allan, still in his seat, had fallen forward, his head on his folded arms across the control apparatus. O'Mal ley laid a hand on his shoulder, a gentb- hand. "It's all right. Chief, I understand," he said softly. "If I'd built this thing I'd feel the same way." But still Allan gave no sign. O'Mal ley suddenly started and raised him. The head hung forward loosely. The reception committee was clamoring at the locked door of the locomotive, but O'Malley did not hear them. He was looking Into his chief's gray face and trying -to realize that the tunnel builder was dead. THE END. HE WASN'T SO SILLY A young Lancashire mill worker had a mental relapse, which resulted In his being sent to the county asylum. After he had been there a few weeks he was visited by one of his fellow workers, who came across him in the grounds. "Halloa, Benny!" said the visitor, "how's thee getting on?" "Oh, Ah'm goin' on first rate, thank ye," answered the afflicted one. "Ah'm very glad to hear it, lad," said the visitor, pleasantly. "I sup pose you'll be comin' back to work soon—el) ?" "Wot!" exclaimed Ben. while a look of great surprise spread over his coun tenance. "Leave a big house and a grand garden like this to room back to work! Mon. dost tha think Ah'm wrang in my head?" ALL IN VAIN Determination writ large upon her angry countenance, the mother of the child who had been bitten by an Irish terrier belonging to a new neighbor (Mrs. Green) gave an au thoritative "rat-tat with the knocker on Mrs. Green's door. The door was opened by a meek looking elderly woman, and the vials of the mother's wrath burst forth. "You're Mrs. Green. I s'pose," she sneered. "Green by name an' green by natur". I should call you, to keep a feroshus animlle like that then- Irish terriertorlal o' your, a-bitin' of innercent children an' a-terrierizing the whole neighborhood! I'll have the law of you! I'll make you pay! D'ye hear? I'll sue you for damages and 'aye that .'orrible dog shot, I will!" Then, as she paused for a moment for breath the old woman took a slat" pencil and said, in a mildly apologetic tone: "Very sorry, mum. but would you mind wrltln' It all down? I'm stone deaf." * HIS ONE VOTE An ambitious man rather unwisely stood as candidate «t one of the local elections, and at the close of the poll was found to have received only one vote. The candidate was excessively mortified, and, to Increase his chagrin, his neighbors talked as if it were a matter of course that he had given that one vote himself. This annoyed him so much that he offered a $50 suit of clothes to his only supporter if the individual would come forward and show himself. An Irishman responded to this ap peal, proved his claim, and called for the reward. "How did it happen?" inquired the candidate, taken quite by surprise. "How did it happen that you voted for me!"' Pat hesitated; but, on being pressed, he answered: "If I tell you, you won't go back on FA CTS on Eczema That's What Skin Sufferers Should Know—THE FACTS —for 15 Years D. D. D. Prescription Has Been the Standard —Now Read It Is in this last decade of medical | research that internal drugs have I ! proven as worthless for skin disease ;as for toothache. It is also in our modern rush of : medical enlightenment tiiat salves ; and ointments have been discarded. ! First, because they can not penetrate l the tissues correctly; second, because i i they clog the deep pores of the skin | and imprison the disease germs. To effect a cure of skin trouble the ! j remedy must be in fluid form. This j ' statement, now proven, was first made ; jIS years ago by a famous skin spe cialist, and it was his tireless work j that resulted In the discovery of D. I ID. D. Prescription, a simple, sooth- j ing, cooling wash. Apply 1). 1). D. to the skin and see 1 I how the itch is gone—instantly—the 1 ! moment the liquid is applied! I Then see anyone who has used D. ' D. D. D. Prescription—for. 15 years—the standard skin remedy 11 the suit of clothes? "Oh, no; I promise you shall have the suit anyhow." "Well, then, your honor," replied Pat. "sure I made a mistake in the ballot paper." I). P. according to directions and ask if the cure was not permanent. Remember: I). I). I). Prescription has been recognized as the standard skin remedy for many years, while imitations in liquid form as well as salves and "blood" cures have come and gone. Druggists generally carry D. D. D. and we recommend it strongly. If you have any kind of skin blemish, rash, or insect bite—no matter how slight—call at our store and ask us about D. I). D. Prescription. Ask us also about D. D, D. Soap—a specific for tender skins. The first full size bottle is sold with the guarantee that unless it is effective in your own case, your money will be refunded. You alone to judge. The Owl Drug. Co.