'Copyright. 1913, International New* Service)
A Little Browbeating
Just Pipe the Marathon
RUDOLPH WAS WISE
A man who was a regular patron of
a certain restaurant said to the waiter:
'Rudolph, Instead of tipping you
every day I'm going to give you your
tip in a lump sum next Christmas."
"Thank you, sir," answered Rudolph,
"but— cr —-would you mind paying me.
something in ad vance.*Sir'.'"
"H'm It's a funny request." said the
patron, "hut here—here's $5 for you.
"What's the matter —do you need the
money or don't you trust my mem
"Oh, no, sir." smiled Rudolph, pock
eting the tip. "It isn't that. Only I'm
leaving here today, sir."
The Dingbat Family
Polly and Her Pals
<From tbe German of Bernhard Kellermann
_(>rm«ti Tendon. Copyrlcui. 1913. by 8.
Fischer. Verlag. Berlin. kustiab translation
ami compUatiou by
Copyright. 1813. International N»*« Service)
Continued from Ye*terd"y
The night before Allan and Ethel
sat alone in the old Lloyd home way
up on the river and talked until far
in the night. it was the first time
since their wedding night, many years
before, that they had opened up their
inmost hearts to each other. And
now they had come to the day of
whitening hair, childless and alone,
and there was much to say. It seemed
to Allan that all that this woman had
been to him in these long yearn came
down upon him in one overwhelming
rush, and at last the taciturn man of
facts and figures found the words to
give his emotion visible life. To the
woman, this one night compensated
for all that she had missed; and in
the years to come she thought only
of that and forgot the rest.
\ i oni;iioni\(.
"you'll hear from me all along the
route, of course," he told her. as he
left her the next afternoon. "And as
soon as we reach the other side I'll
get you on the phone."
"All right, dear. Goodby—and good
luck!" She waved her hand from the
steps as he drove away.
It should have been a day of de-
THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, I&L3
I lirious triumph for Allan —the day he I
: had lived for all these Zt years. But
|as he left Kthel a depression came ]
j over him that he could not shake off.
|He wished that he had taken her i
I with him. though they had decided
! that it would not be best. The crowds
| and the cheering and the haopv, en- i
thusiastic greetings of O'Malley,
Wainwright and his other trusted and
faithful aides could not rouse him
from the mild torpor of despondency,
though outwardly ho was happy and
enthusiastic In his characteristically
i repressed fashion.
| O'Malley and Wainwright had
I claimed and obtained the honor of
driving the train part of the way.
i Allan was to have the first place of
I honor, the bringing of the train into
| the station outside of London. O'Mai
j ley was master of the cab from Tun
j nel City to Bermuda, and Wainwright
could be on the bridge on the long leg
:of the run, the straight dash from
'Bermuda to Fayal, in the Azores. Then
: Allan would take the controller and
! pilot the first train to the finish mark.
The world sat up for 24 hours to
j watch the progress of that projectile
flying through the depths of the
I earth. O'Malley brought them into
I Bermuda only two minutes behind
their schedule. The work of changing
j engines and testing was expedited to
pick up this loss, till the train shot
; out under the bed of the Atlantic
Fayal was readied five minutes and
40 seconds late, and when Allan turned
on the power and the train darted
forward again with a roar they were
still three minutes behind time.
O'Malley stood beside him In case
-~ What's the Matter With Skinny?
f (Registered Dal ted States Patent Office)
Greater Sft®;ry ®ff Dis KM
of accidents, and hardly a word was
spoken. He kept bis eyes on the face
of his chief In wonder and perplexity.
Allan seemed to have grown young
again, but there was a troubled look
in the hooded eyes that gazed, un
thinking, up the long perspective, and
a grim, gray look about the mouth.
He did not seem to be conscious of
OMalley's presence. When the latter
addressed him, making pertinent com
ments on their speed, only the barest
nod indicated that he had heard.
When his watch and the marks on
the stations told him that they were
approaching the channel, O'Malley
burst into a yelp of joy.
"By the eternal!" he roared. "I be
lieve you'll bring us in on time,
He was so excited now that he paid
no heed to Allan's apathy. At every
mark he let out yells of joy, and
glued his eyes to the chronometers
as if to hold them back by force of
"We'll make it! We'll make it,
sure!" he cried every second, and as
Allan's fingers caressed the brake
control lie slapped his chief on the
"Not yet—not yet. Mac! Give her
the limit and we'll make It!"
The heavy wheels shrieked in the
grip of the brakes as the train roared
into the station, but the clamor was
lost tn the thunder of the mighty
crowd that was gathered to meet it.
As the mighty leviathan of the
darkness trembled and stopped with
a jar and a gasp O'Malley gave vent
to a final roar of triumph. The
slender brass needle of the chronom-
Beans Make the Bean Ache
(Copyright, 1913. international News Serrlce)
Sounds Like a Cow Bell
(Copyright, 1813, International News Serrice)
cter indicated a fraction of a minute
less than 12 o'clock.
"We've beat it! We've beat it,
Mac!"* he yelled, still watching the
clock. He struck for his chief's
shoulder with his open hand —and
missed. Then he looked down.
Allan, still in his seat, had fallen
forward, his head on his folded arms
across the control apparatus. O'Mal
ley laid a hand on his shoulder, a
"It's all right. Chief, I understand,"
he said softly. "If I'd built this
thing I'd feel the same way."
But still Allan gave no sign. O'Mal
ley suddenly started and raised him.
The head hung forward loosely. The
reception committee was clamoring at
the locked door of the locomotive, but
O'Malley did not hear them.
He was looking Into his chief's gray
face and trying -to realize that the
tunnel builder was dead.
HE WASN'T SO SILLY
A young Lancashire mill worker had
a mental relapse, which resulted In his
being sent to the county asylum.
After he had been there a few weeks
he was visited by one of his fellow
workers, who came across him in the
"Halloa, Benny!" said the visitor,
"how's thee getting on?"
"Oh, Ah'm goin' on first rate, thank
ye," answered the afflicted one.
"Ah'm very glad to hear it, lad,"
said the visitor, pleasantly. "I sup
pose you'll be comin' back to work
"Wot!" exclaimed Ben. while a look
of great surprise spread over his coun
tenance. "Leave a big house and a
grand garden like this to room back
to work! Mon. dost tha think Ah'm
wrang in my head?"
ALL IN VAIN
Determination writ large upon her
angry countenance, the mother of
the child who had been bitten by an
Irish terrier belonging to a new
neighbor (Mrs. Green) gave an au
thoritative "rat-tat with the
knocker on Mrs. Green's door.
The door was opened by a meek
looking elderly woman, and the vials
of the mother's wrath burst forth.
"You're Mrs. Green. I s'pose," she
sneered. "Green by name an' green
by natur". I should call you, to keep
a feroshus animlle like that then-
Irish terriertorlal o' your, a-bitin' of
innercent children an' a-terrierizing
the whole neighborhood! I'll have the
law of you! I'll make you pay! D'ye
hear? I'll sue you for damages and
'aye that .'orrible dog shot, I will!"
Then, as she paused for a moment
for breath the old woman took a slat"
pencil and said, in a mildly apologetic
"Very sorry, mum. but would you
mind wrltln' It all down? I'm stone
HIS ONE VOTE
An ambitious man rather unwisely
stood as candidate «t one of the local
elections, and at the close of the poll
was found to have received only one
vote. The candidate was excessively
mortified, and, to Increase his chagrin,
his neighbors talked as if it were a
matter of course that he had given
that one vote himself. This annoyed
him so much that he offered a $50
suit of clothes to his only supporter
if the individual would come forward
and show himself.
An Irishman responded to this ap
peal, proved his claim, and called for
"How did it happen?" inquired the
candidate, taken quite by surprise.
"How did it happen that you voted
Pat hesitated; but, on being pressed,
"If I tell you, you won't go back on
FA CTS on Eczema
That's What Skin Sufferers Should Know—THE FACTS
—for 15 Years D. D. D. Prescription Has Been
the Standard —Now Read
It Is in this last decade of medical |
research that internal drugs have I
! proven as worthless for skin disease
;as for toothache.
It is also in our modern rush of
: medical enlightenment tiiat salves
; and ointments have been discarded.
! First, because they can not penetrate
l the tissues correctly; second, because i
i they clog the deep pores of the skin
| and imprison the disease germs.
To effect a cure of skin trouble the !
j remedy must be in fluid form. This j
' statement, now proven, was first made ;
jIS years ago by a famous skin spe
cialist, and it was his tireless work j
that resulted In the discovery of D. I
ID. D. Prescription, a simple, sooth- j
ing, cooling wash.
Apply 1). 1). D. to the skin and see 1
I how the itch is gone—instantly—the 1
! moment the liquid is applied!
I Then see anyone who has used D. '
D. D. D. Prescription—for. 15 years—the standard skin remedy
the suit of clothes?
"Oh, no; I promise you shall have
the suit anyhow."
"Well, then, your honor," replied
Pat. "sure I made a mistake in the
I). P. according to directions and ask
if the cure was not permanent.
Remember: I). I). I). Prescription
has been recognized as the standard
skin remedy for many years, while
imitations in liquid form as well as
salves and "blood" cures have come
Druggists generally carry D. D. D.
and we recommend it strongly. If
you have any kind of skin blemish,
rash, or insect bite—no matter how
slight—call at our store and ask us
about D. I). D. Prescription.
Ask us also about D. D, D. Soap—a
specific for tender skins.
The first full size bottle is sold
with the guarantee that unless it is
effective in your own case, your
money will be refunded. You alone
The Owl Drug. Co.
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