The San Francisco call. [volume], December 02, 1913, Image 11

About The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913

Image provided by: University of California, Riverside; Riverside, CA

                
& The Only Human Being in the World Whose Obligations Are Not Bound by the Clock Is the Mother 6?
TWO STUNNING STYLES
MOIRE- ONCE SO FASH
IONABLE, HAS AGAIN BE
COME THE VOGUE AND*
WHEN USED IN BOTH
DRESS AND WRAP THE
EFFECT IS ONE OF THE
MOST .PLEASING OF ALL
OF THIS : FALL'S FANCIES.
THIS FROCK ON THE
LEFT IS MADE OF THE
EXTREMELY FASHION
. ABLE "ROUILLE" MOIRE,
PARTLY COVERED BY A
TUNIC OF NET OF THE
SAME TONE, EMBROI
DERED AND FINISHED 3Y
■: ;a'-6ant) of yellow SWE
DISH VELVET. OVER IT
.IS WORN THE PRETTY
* AND ORIGINAL DRAPED
"VETEMENT," FINISHED
AT THE BACK BY A LONG
POINTED TRAIN. FOLDED
WAn Unusually Attractive
talking Machine Offer
*'- "'lr*''" B Hifo> This beautiful Columbia Grafonola
• "" •.'■and stand (as illustrated) D>ith
' Record 'Album,' 300 finest needles
tL A Pay $4.60 down
1 j Interest—No Extras
II This really extraordinary combina
\' ' 8 t o n °^ er ' s made possible for
1 the-reason that this style will not
i \/ys v I found,in the new 1914 catalogue.
\ L lj Each instrument is new and
wSr ef i <l 'PP ecl with the latest improve-
/sjjm ments, including the new tone
control 'eaves and powerful triple
| spring-drive motor. The cabinet
j work and finish is of the'highest
f . possible craftsmanship. The tone
quality and volume is equal to
the much higher priced models.
This beautiful Columbia Grafonola
combination will make an ideal
Christmas gift for the entire family.
Selections can be made now and de
p | livery will be made when desired.
The Call's Magazine and Fiction Pages
AND CAUGHT UP AT THE
COLLAR.
the broad kimono
sleeves are outlined
by a band of skunk
fur. as is also the
small de medicis col
lar which has an ad
ditional finishing
touch in a lining of
yellow swedish satin,
a bow effect, made by
catching up the dra
pery, fastens the
wrap at the chest.
the Latest edict of
fashion is that mati
nee frocks must pref-
ERABLY BE IN PALE •
TONES BECAUSE THE
BRILLIANT LIGHTING OF
THE PLAYHOUSES MAKES
A DEMI-TOILETTE SEEM
MORE IN KEEPING WITH
THE OCCASION.
A PRETTY ONE IN THIS
STYLE IS SHOWN ON THE
RIGHT.
IT IS OF "CHAIR DE
LOURNE" CHARMEUSE.
THE BODICE, MADE IN KI
MONO STYLE AND BLOUS
ING IN FRONT, IS \OF
CHARMEUSE. THE NECK
IS CUT V SHAPE, AND IS
TRIMMED WITH CROSSED
BANDS OF SKUNK, GIVING
THE BECOMING BOLERO
EFFECT. IT IS FASTENED
IN THE MIDDLE BY A
HUGE PASSEMENTERIE
ORNAMENT.
FULLY DESCRIBED
BY OLIVETTE
THE DE MEDICIS COLLAR
IS OF OCREE LACE, AND IS
BONED TO MAKE IT STAND
UP, WITH TWO POINTS
IN FRONT. THE SLEEVES,
CUT ALSO IN V- SHAPE TO
CORRESPOND WITH THE
NECK, SHOW A FLOUNCE
OF THE SAME OCREE LACE
THAT HIDES THE ELBOWS,
A WIDE DRAPED BELT OF
AUBERGRICE SATIN,
CROSSED IN THE MIDDLE
FRONT, ENCIRCLES THE
HIPS, CATCHING UP IN
FRONT A DEEP FOLD OF
THE SKIRT, GIVING A
CHARMING AND HEIGHT
ENED EFFECT TO THE
WEARER, TWO GATHERED
FLOUNCES QF LACE
EDGED BY A BAND OF
. SKUNK CIVE THE DESIRED
TUNIC EFFECT.
Front. A fold of charmeuse falls
at the back.—Olivette.
A DEEP EATER
Senator Frawley said in Albany. 01
a corruptlonistf
"He went in too deep. He was like
the boy.
"Motoring one summer day in the
country, I saw a boy who was going
through a strange performance. He
hopped up and down on his left foot,
while he held to his right ear A large
stone on which he tapped l —tap, tap,
tap—with a smaller one.
" *My boy,' I said, 'what on earth is
the matter?' *
" 'Water in me ear.' the boy replied,
as he continued his hopping and tap
ping.
"My own boyhood came back to me.
I Temembered doing Just such things
myself. .
" 'Aha,' I said. 'I remember now.
I. too, my boy, have hopped and. tapped
like that when I've been swimming
and grot water in my ear.' '
" 1 ain't been swimming," said the
boy. t
" 'But how on earth, then'— I be
gan.
" 'Been eatin' watermelon,' he in
terrupted, calmly."
HELPING HIM OUT
Conversation hung fire badly. There
were several matters which the young
man wished to discuss—one in par
ticular —but somehow he could not
muster the necessary courage, and the
silence became really painful.
"I was speaking with your father
last night," he said at last, somewhat
inanely.
"Oh, were you?" answered the sweet
young thing, lowering her eyes. "Er—
,wb.at" were you—er —talking about?"
"About the likelihood of war in
Mexico. Tour father said if there was
fighting he hoped it would soon be
over."
The sweet young thing smiled.
"Yes." she remarked; "I know he's
very much opposed to long engage
ments."
CSSK BOOK
to
DOROTHY DIX
A DISH much in favor in many households is pickled husband, which
may be served at any meal, although the majority of wives seem to
relish it as a tidbit late at night, Just before going to sleep.
Almost any kind of a husband may be pickled by a wife who is a real
industrious trouble hunter and conscientious about doing her full duty
about bossing her family and looking carefully after its ways.
The best husbands to pickle, however, are the good natured, easy
going sort (genus rounder), although there is a small, meek variety
(genus henpeckis) that have a very fine flavor also, and are much easier
to pickle.
To prepare this delicious condiment to married life first select your
husband. Pay especial attention to this, for some husbands can't be
pickled at all, and when you try to pickle them they run all over the
place and make an awful mess. Therefore be very careful on this point,
for to the great majority of women the domestic menu would be flat and
tasteless except for the unfailing supply of pickled husband they always
keep In the"cupboard.
Select then, if it be possible, a nice, fat, juicy, thin skinned busband
who is fond of gayety and has many friends. Jf he thinks he knows how
to play poker, so much the better. Smell his breath, and if it has an
odor that resembles an old pipe and a trlass of stale beer you may be sure
that you have secured a luscious specimen for pickling.
Cf you can not get this kind of a husband, almost any sort of'a busy,
hard working husband of the species Americanis Boobis will do, but
pains must bp taken to avoid husbands with square'jaws and pale blue
eyes, especially if these features are accompanied by red hair, as this
species defy the most heartfelt efforts of any wife to pickle them.
Having secured your husband, take him home and begin the pickling
process by first salting him down in brine, in order to melt down any
backbone he may happen to have, and to make him into a perfect mush
of acquiescence. It lias been proven by millions of housewives, who have
tried it, that nothing so completely takes the stamina and fight out of a
man as tears.
So begin with the process of disintegration on your husband by weep
ing over him. Turn the domestic hydrant on him morning, noon and
night. Weep over him because you can't have this, and you can't have
that. Weep when the soup is Falty; weep when your J J '*
fit; weep wiieti no comes home ten
minutes late to dinner; weep when
his mother comes to see you; weep
when he won't take you to the the
ater; burst into perfect floods of
tears If he dares to criticize any
thing you do or say, or that your
mother does or says. Keep the water
spout going continuously until the
whole atmosphere of your home is
so damp and fog-gy and sticky that
it will give anybody rheumatism of
the heart and sciatica of the disposi
tion.
Persist in the salt water treatment
until you perceive that your husband
is getting webfoc-ted, so that he is
afraid to make, a move lest he should
inadvertently step on some of your
pfecious little •feelings, and so pre
cipitate another downpour. You can
also perceive when he is becoming
sufflcently gelitudinous to pickle by
sticking the pitchfork into him now
and then. If he answers back he
needs another .barrel of tears poured
over him, but,lf he returns no back
talk he Is in fit condition to proceed
with the further processes of pick
ling. ■
*,wo.. ...m all over wlfh a sharp tdngue. Make the gashes as
deep as you can* by saying all the things that will cut him to the quick
to hear. Some women hold that the best way_to do this is by taunting
a man with his failures, and telling him how much better some other
man provides for his family than he does, and bow Mr. Jones' wife has
' a limousine and diamonds, while they have to ride on the streetcar and
use safety pins for ornaments.
Other women contend that the best way to lash a husband with a
tongue is to hold forth upon his weaknesses, and to rip him up the
back and slash him. crossways about the time he came home after he
had-made a nlgbt with the boys, or the poker game in which he lost
$50. or the old friend he lent some money to who never repaid him.
. Undoubtedly both of these plane are excellent, but the great ma
jority of wives content themselves with more superficial tongue pricks,
technically known as nagging, about the ten thousand little things of
everyday life, and this is probably the best method of all, because It Is
so thorough and does not leave a single particle of the cuticle of the
husband that has not beerf searijled.
Having .reduced the husband to a pulp by soaking him In brine,
and having thoroughly pricked him with a sharp tongue, now souse
him In a mixture made as folfows: .
« Take" five gallons" of the vinegar of temper, the more acid the
better.'.-a quart of the gall of Jealousy, a half pound of the paprika of
spite, two ounces of tlie seeds of doubt, and spice it up to taste with
suspicion, insinuations and recriminations; throw in enongh «elflshness
to cover it all a .dark bilious" green, and stew the -husband in this
brew for some 20 or 30 years, at-the end of which time he will be found
to be as sour as any wife could wish. .
Pickled husband is strictly a family dish, though occasionally It is
served up for company. Its chicf # use, however, Is as a nightcap for
women. Many wives are so addicted to it that they could not go to
sleep unless they had partaken of a large slice .of it Just before they go
to bed.
If these directions for making pickled husband are not sufficiently
explicit, bfides njay obtain further information by observing the methods
of almost any married woman of their acquaintance.
g&LMk BgbLis's Pa®
WILLIAM F. KIRK
WIFE.. Pa sed to Ma, I have got a
rare ti*eet for you & little Bob
bie. • I doant know about these
rare treets of yures, sed Ma. I havent
forgotten that county fair that you
took us to, the time you tried to dr.lnk
up all the hard cider in the grounds.
This is going to be different, sed Pa.
This is going to be a good old .Ger
man picnic, the kind that we used to
go to when you & I was yung boys &
gurls together, Pa sed. Let us go &
think of them happy days that is gone
beeyond recall, sed Pa.
I will go if little Bobbie & you
want to go, sed Ma, but I nevver had
a vary good time at a German picnic.
Thare is always a band & thare is
always beer, but as I don't like brass
musick or lager I cant see whare the
fun will cum In. But I will go.
So we all went to the German pic
nic. It was at a little plais called Ol
denburg & thare was a lot of peepul
picknicking.
Ah, sed Pa, here is my old frend
Fritz Schultz. Cum rite here, Fritz.
Wife, sed Pa, allow me to present my
old frend Fritz Schultz.
How do you do, Mister Schultz? sed
Ma.
Mister Schultz was awful fat. He
must have weighed 300 pounds.
I do all rite, lie sed, aber tonight I
am sad. This afternoon it rained a
little, und the picnic almost spoiled.
The wether is luvly now, tho, sed
Ma. I am sure we are going to enjoy
the evening.
Always when it rains then I am
sad, sed iMster Schultz. I know it is
going to rain tomorrow, alretty, und
den I will be Had aggenn. My poor
| brother August made himself hanged
last September, he sed to Ma & Pa.
It was raining just like this afternoon
it rained. August vas such a cholly
fellow. Even after we found him in
der barn we saw a smile on his face.
Almost could I cry now to think of
August.
Think of July insted & laff, sed Ma.
Life is too short to feel sad and pass
away, Ma sed. Is this yure llttel son?
Yes, it is littel August, said Fritz
Schultz. I nalmed him after my broth
er which is ded, alretty. He can play
with yure littel fellow if you vant
him to.
Pa gaiv me a dime & I took August
over to buy him a drink of lemonade.
He was a funny looking littel German
boy; he wud look rite at me & I
doant think he was thinking about
anything at all.
I bought him sum lemonade, but he
dident like it vary good, he sed to
me Sooner wud I have beer. Not with
me, I sed to him, I am off the stuff.
That is what I used to heer Pa say.
I tried to talk to AugusCabout the
boys that he knew & about his school
& about baseball, but he dident eeven
know who Matty was. He sed thay
had a cow naimed Mattie. He newer
eeven herd of Mister McGraw. All
lie sed was Maybe it will rain tomor
row, alretty, and make me sad.
Why do you get sad wen it rains?
I sed.
I had a unkel, his nairn was the
saim as mine, sed August. He made
himself hanged.
Then I took August back to his Pa
& coaxed Pa to take us hoam from
tlie picnic. Yes. do, sed Ma, you wud
think it was a lot of Glooms out for
a time.
THE FAMILY CUPBOARD
Adapted from Owen Davis' Broadway Success.
Dick bids his mother goodby.
ifoti Can Begin This
Great Story Today by
Reading This First
Crjarles Nelson, a wealthy New
Yorker, on coming home on a certain
, afternoon, discovers his son. Ken
neth, drunk, and in the scene that,
follows, Kenneth accuses his father of
maintaining another establishment."
Nelson admits the truth of the charge.
His wife, a society leader, hears the
discussion, and it develops that the
estrangement in the family has come
through the woman's indifference to
her husband. Their daughter. Alice,
sides with the father, and Kenneth
takes his mother's part. Mrs. Hard
ing, a mutual friend, tries to patch
the trouble, and contrives that the
Nelsons shall meet at the Alpine
apartments, where Nelson has gone
from his home. In the lobby of this
apartment house Mrs. Nelson acci
dentally meets Kitty May Claire, the
girl who had won her husband's af
fection. After his wife leaves. Nelson
has a talk with the girl.« He tells her
they must "quit." The girl declares
she will have revenge. She takes it
by having the son, Kenneth, fall In
love with her.
jj Now Read On
(NOVELIZED BY)
(From Owen DbtU' play now being presented ]
•t the Playhouse by William A. Brady. -
Copyrighted, 1813, by International Newi
Berrien.)
Continued from Yesterday
SOME GIRL,
Ken was relieved. The farewell was
not to be a tragic affair after all. No
scene. Men hate scenes. He felt grate
ful to Mary. She was some girl, by
Jove!
"Tea roses are like Mary. I'll wear
one in my buttonhole—that is, if Mary
will put it in there for me," said Ken,
gently.
"Of course," said Mary, a little
breathlessly. "And all day long we can
be thinking we left a bit of your own
thoughtfulness with you. Ken."
"But I hate to leave you. Ken. Do
come," urged his mother.
"Shall I. Mary?"
"Oh, Ken, if you would!"
Ken Nelson's good angel stood at his
elbow for a second, and then Fate sent
a little cabaret tnne Jigging through
bis mind. Some one on the station
platform waa serenading a girl on the
train. Ken remembered Kitty. He waa
to meet her at the Knickerbocker at 1.
"Oh, I'd come," he laughed easily.
"Clothes and toothbrushes and clean
linen can be purchased on the train
no doubt! It really wouldn't matter
about my lack Of trunk. I'd come —
but I have a luncheon date!"
But when Ken kissed his mother
goodby he had to jog his memory to
tlie tune of "You're sober, this time,
my boy," for Mary's cheek was soft
and warmly glowing pink, while the
slim little hand she gave him <n fare
well was cool and white.
The train fled away to the South
lands, and Ken sped to Forty-second
street. But a little fragrant memory
of Mary Burk lingered in his heart —
and in his buttonhole was the tiny
tea rose her fingers had fastened
there.
Over the lunch table and above the
rim of a glass of champagne Kitty's
eyes gleamed a challenge.
"So you take me to luncheon and
wear little white rosebuds to shaw
Kitty May 'what a divil ye are wfd
the ladies.' "
Ken looked at the rosebud uneasily.
Somehow he wished Kitty wouldn't.
"It's pink—at the heart," said he,
stupidly thinking aloud.
"Prove It." cried Kitty.
And Mary's rosebud perished be
cause Kitty Claire must see its blush
ing pink heart!
Surely, and with rooitrioui power,
Kitty was tightening her bold on
Kenneth. She waa fostering his In
fatuation. She was speeding the tri
umphant day of power—the day when
Charles Nelson's sou should love the
woman hi.* father had east aside.
It seemed natural enbugh to Ken,
when all other ties were cut, to take
rooms in the downtown apartment
hotel, where Kitty and her chauffeur,
Jim Garrity. were established.
It was all perfectly proper. At
least it all looked perfectly proper to
Ken. And it was living!
There were long sunshiny days of
luncheons and rides and teas and
merrymaking with pretty Kitty by
his side.
There were delirious evenings of
wine and song—and woman. Those
evenings meant Kitty in his arms!
To the whirling music of the caba
rets they danced. Fast—with the
mad whirl of the dervish, or slow—
with languorous suggestion of the
Nautch girl, they circled in the dance.
About them heavy perfume, rich
colors, exotic music and magnetic
women. All around gleam and glow
coffee or tea
is sensed 1551
In: and *' uM Wt^SaHß&jl!-
B«BBB|Hi Sealed imfe:""" half-size «Ps(SH||o
HI Packages pieces W&fflmwSS&Wm
HBBHfi THE AMERICAN SUGAi* |H|i
REFINING COMPANY ■
Address: New York City I
I~TlTiTnirß>l IMIMIIWIIIIIIIIMIMIMIMiWMMWIII HIIIMIIIiT il' I I
A Dramatic Story of High
Society Life in New York,
and an atmosphere to lure and stimu
late the senses. And as he drowned
along at the call of the dance Ken
held a slim, vibrant slip of a girl in
his arms.
It was a merry tune —and Ken
neth Nelson would pay the piper.
He would pay—for Kitty's car and
for her dainty little suite, for the
privilege of knowing Mr. Dick le
Roy, and for the former cabman's
masquerade as his own daughter's
chauffeur.
But, most of all., he would pay for
the bitter fact that Kitty Claire had
come into his father's life—and gone
out—as Kitty May!
But there was a clean, decent strain
deep in the boy's nature. At the,end
of a month he had not guessed what
an older, bolder man would have
known at the end of an hour. At the
end of a month the boy who had in
sulted Mary Burk with a drunken kiss
while she was under the protection of
his own roof was respectfully bidding
Kitty May good night at the door of
an apartment just across the hall
from his own quarters. Again he was
drunk; but with tie manners of a
Chesterfield he bade good night to the
girl to whom a drunken kiss would
have been a lark, not an insult.
A DEEP WITCHERY
Kitty's Witchery of him was deeper
than the mastery of the drink to
which he had given himself. But as
soon as her influence was removed,
weariness and liquor had tiieir sway.
Silk hat, dresscoat, paieat leather
pumps, pleated shirt, tie. watch, ooins.
billfold and cigarette case all formed
a melange on the floor ef his crimson
walled living room, and three minutes
after he Jiad said a torturingly re
spectful "good night" to Kitty, Ken
neth was fast asleep.
Nine hours of heavy, drunken ob
livion. Nine hours of loglike slumber.
And then a voice fore-fed Kenneth back
to consciousness.
"Mr. Kenneth.* Mr. Kenneth!"
"Hello!" muttered the waking prod
igal.
He rose on his arm sleepily, protest
ingly. like a child who begs for just
10 minutes to get awake.
"Hello/ Potter!" he • reproached.
"Why did you wake up so soon?"
"Good morning, sir," said Potter,
who had been deposed from his lofty
estate as butler to the Nelson house
hold, because there was «io Nelson
household—and who was now care
taker in chief of Mr. Kenneth, for
whom there was no caring.
"It is 12 o'clock, Mr. Kenneth."
Kenneth rested a trembling hand
on an aching head.
"I've no objection! Qh, Potter!"
* *ry/es, Mr. Kenneth?" •
At a time like this even a staid old
family butler of irreproachable Eng
lish training must have a struggle not
to act as a man instead Of merely
"man" to his master.
"Oh, Potter, what a head I've got!"
Potter went out to the living room,
secured a pitcher of ice Water which
be had brought for this Very usual
emergency, captured a frlass and
poured a drink for his young master.
"There's music for you," miised Ken
neth. » •
He took a great piece 6f ice from
the glass, applied it to "his head, then
seized the pitcher itself and fairly
drained its contents!
"Potter!" said he, returning the
empty pitcher regretfully, "you've
saved my lVfe!" t
"Yes, sir," said Potter calmly.
"Give me a cigarette. Too bad about
you. Potter. After 10 years of re
spectable service to end as a chape
ron."
"A what sir?" asked Potter in
amazement as he lighted the luxurious
cigarette in bed for his master. %
"A chaperon," said Ken tersely be
tween puffs. "I take that to be moth
er's purpose in inflicting us on one
another, in the hope that your exam
ple and the restraint of your unim
peachable respectability might keep
me from,all evil."
Repartee is not for, servants.
"Bath is ready, sir,'' said Potter In
reply.
"Oh, I'm a very sick man, Potter."
"You probably have eaten something
that disagreed with you, sir."
"Don't kid me. Potter! I can spell
Remorse without any assistance this
morning. Never again! Do you hear
me?" . *
"Yes, sir," said Potter, unemotion
ally.
"Do you believe me'"
"I should, sir. You have said so
quite frequently. Bath is getting
cold, sir."
Just as Ken transferred from the
realms of white linen to those of
white tiling there was ,a knock on
the outer door, and one Richard L<e
Roy appeared with the calm famil
iarity of habit.
Continued Tomorrow